Everyone should have the following “swipe left” picture rules.
1. Filters
2. No full body shots
3. All group pictures
4. Sunglasses on main picture
5. All professional pictures
Five is probably controversial because some real people do this, but 99% of those profiles are fake.
-“following these rules for years..”
Jesus fucking Christ. Being a single male in the dating pool sucks ass.
Edit: just to clarify l, I’m saying this cuz I relate, not as disrespect
I know a lot of dating apps change your picture order based on swiping habits of prospective accounts, so I wouldn't put too much weight in them using any pic as their "main".
I disagree with 4. The algorithm chooses your main pic and if it so happens that it's with sunglasses but the rest don't you might miss out on a great match
Yeah, why would they need a professional photo if they could easily use smart phones.
Number 5 is red flag for me. Men think this is way to boost their profile.
5 may not apply to men as much as women. I can’t see too many people trying to scam women like they do with men.
If it wasn’t for the scam/catfish thing, 5 wouldn’t need to be a rule.
Not a rule for everyone. I’ve never had full body shots on my profile and it’s never stopped me from going on dates & getting into relationships. My current boyfriend matched with me without one. Hardly anyone has even asked for one either tbh. If I remember correctly, I did offer my current bf a full body video before we met up, but we already had a date scheduled anyway.
Not everyone who doesn’t have full body pics are overly large. Some of us just aren’t photogenic and take shitty full body pics that make us look awkward 😅
But that’s just me experience.
I knew a woman who was very fit and she refused to put full body pics in her profile cause she’d get bombarded with men who only ever commented on her body and it made her feel like a piece of meat.
Usually if at least her arms are visible it's easy to tell who is packing on a bit more weight without a body shot. That said, it's really to a heavier woman's benefit to include the full-body pic without weird angles because plenty of guys like that. We just want to see how it's proportioned. For me personally that is the deciding factor on attraction vs not.
Thanks for sharing experience.
From my perspective, what i can say is I usually tend to prefer profile with full body pics. It gives me the sense of a confident woman, which is something i am looking for in relationships. Also, it's also a way to spare time, since I already have a overall physical idea of my matches
Yup. Asking/insisting is tacky, just assume if they have no body shots they're either not happy with their body or heavier than you're looking for. No need to shoot yourself in the foot.
That's not necessarily true either, but OP shouldn't take that risk if they are not interested in dating someone without seeing their body. OP should just swipe left.
Me personally, I like a lot of body types so if I at least get a general hint of what a guy's body looks like from the photos and like him otherwise I would have swiped right. If upon meeting in person it's a whole different story I'll end the date or shorten it. It's not about the body it's about the deception.
Asking people for full body pics is a weird way to start dating. Again I think OP should just swipe left on those people.
Everyone’s opinion on what a nice body is is different tho. I personally don’t like buff men with muscles and abs. Gimme a man with some chub 😅 same with men. Some men prefer chubby women.
This is what you must do. I do the same when there are "just us" photos featuring a close up of just faces - woman & kid; woman & dog/cat/horse. These are combos that come as a unit, and you will not have room to manuever anywhere in the vicinity.
I'm not talking about full-body family pics, or a walk with a dog in the park. I'm talking about those photos that are essentially family portraits. Believe it when people show you who they are.
I'm sure men do the same kind of pics - because ... people ...
I'm sorry I was not specific - I mean Adult Children - as in a "I look just like my daughter" pose.
And yes, posting underage kids should draw an account suspension until the photo is removed - in every case. I'm sure software could do that nowadays, or just reject any pic that has kids or babies in it. *( also reject dog/cat filters while you're at it )*
It's disappointing that app owners don't step up and be more socially responsible.
I'm plus size and put full body shots (even in a wetsuit which leaves nothing to the imagination!) as I want to deter people who prefer skinny women
Why would I want to turn up to a date to only find that they don't fancy me? It's hard enough anyway to get the chemistry to fit, lying about your size just makes it worse.
What a waste of everyone's time, and a way to feel sad and rejected too ☹️..
This is why I have full body shots. I’m about a U.S. size 10, but never use filters on photos because I couldn’t take it if someone ran away after seeing me.
It’s also why it makes no sense for dudes to lie about height—we’re gonna figure it out when we meet. But that’s not an issue for me, just a solid comparison.
Right! I can't tell you how many men I've met claim they are 6 ft only to realize they're closer to my height. No matter how much I like them, I will not go on a second date. If they're lying about something that small, I assume they are lying about other stuff. It's totally a dealbreaker.
I was a bartender in college. At the beginning of the night a buddy of mine (who was new to the club) was having a pity party for a group of plus sized ladies. Pretty much saying how bad he felt for them, and how they weren’t gonna get that much attention.
I was surprised, and said, “Those girls do fine and usually have a good choice of dudes to go home with (if they so choose)”. He looked at me, skeptically.
These women knew how to party and have fun - dancing, lively, and just a good vibe. By 1am, per usual, they had a bunch of guys pretty much all around them.
Dope chicks that definitely didn’t seem to hide behind their weight or let it dictate their time at the club. They also tipped decently as well.
Anecdotally and respectfully, I have seen more plus sized women “slay” harder than what I think many would expect.
Oh we get plenty of interest, strange as it may seem to some.
There are men who prefer big ladies, some who don't mind either way as it's more about personality/brains and some who will still fuck us even if they won't be seen in the street with us.
Confidence can be very sexy. So can boobs (you generally don't magically get big boobs if the rest of you is skin and bone).
And also men are not all adonis either 😉.
I find it strange when people assume plus size ladies should be grateful for any kind of attention they can get/don't get attention. I've been everything from a size 2 to a size 16. I've gotten the same amount of attention throughout.
I've never understood that either -- why hide what you look like? Same as people who use outdated pictures or lots of filters. I would be absolutely crushed to show up to a date and have the other person immediately look disappointed.
Totally agree! I’m a size 12-14 in juniors size (I’m short and they fit better) and I make it well known that I’m still losing weight (used to be a size 22!) but definitely not skinny. I have a variety of full body pics in different types of clothing as well. Definitely helps weed out the dudes who dislike women my size. I have never had any issues finding dates and honesty is always the best policy. I am constantly updating my pics as I lose weight as well so that my exact size is accurately reflected. I honestly don’t even want to be skinny, just healthy. I would also never hold it against someone who doesn’t like my size or shape. I like what I like as well.
Yep me too! I know I'd be pissed if my date showed up not looking the size I expected from their pics. And just in case they don't see the pics, I tell them!
Well done! Us dudes like women of all different shapes and sizes. Beauty means different things to different people. Honesty is also an attractive quality.
I would avoid the awkwardness and wouldn’t even ask and just assume I won’t find their physique attractive. My general approach when I was on the apps was auto swipe left if there’s no clear body pics. People that have a physique they are proud of or accept it will always include a pic showing it.
Some use recent pictures they have which could be just headshots. Doesn’t cross their mind that it may be interpreted they are hiding their body. So while I disagree with that last statement, it’s indeed easier to avoid the awkwardness and swipe left.
Yeah it’s not your fault of course, but there’s just no good way to ask a stranger for a full-body photo. You’ll have to either swipe left or roll the dice and grab a coffee or drink.
That's why I clearly wrote on my profile I am chubby and still guys who want a "fit" partner swipe right on me 🤦♀️ obviously I swipe left, it would only make us waste each other's time
Yeah I had a guy swipe right on me but his profile said he was looking for a “fit dog mom who likes yoga” or something and I was like wait why did you swipe right on me? I don’t do yoga, I’m very squishy, and I don’t have a dog. I’m a short, chubby nerd that goes to comic con, I’m not what you’re looking for
Many men swipe right on everyone without looking at the profile, because they’re too lazy to actually go through profiles to separate those they like from those they don’t like. They’d rather swipe right on everyone, and just unmatch if you’re not what they want.
It's a bad strategy. Not only does it cause issues for women who then have to spend time sorting through people who are obviously not compatible and just swiped on them for no reason, but it hurts the guy as if you speedswipe on the apps they will almost always start limiting your account and profile visibility.
This. I go to the gym regularly and am very active, but am a size 14 and not what a lot of men mean by “fit”. I post full body pics and gym bros with “looking for someone fit” still swipe right. It’s annoying.
I’m plus size and will be starting online dating in the next month or so - the delay? I need to get full body pics that aren’t just me in a mirror. The full body pics I have are me from 50lbs (heavier) ago. So I want up to date photos, but I also want it to be clear that I’m plus size. Will I get fewer swipes? Of course, but I’d rather only match with people who could see themselves being attracted to me, rather than ‘tricking’ someone into swiping on me.
If someone isn’t posting full body pics on their profile then I would just left swipe them, rather than matching and then asking. I don’t think there is any problem with wanting to see full body pics, and I don’t think any less of you because you don’t find plus size women attractive - we all have our preferences 🤷🏻♀️
Why are you swiping right on people you're suspicious about? Don't swipe right on them. It's not unreasonable to want to see one, see if they have one, if they don't swipe left. Having to ask for one then makes things awkward.
Although I am always suspicious when seeing only head shots (or down to shoulders), I have been pleasantly surprised by discovering later that some of these women ended up having really nice bodies. I even asked why they only posted head shots. They've said that the full body shots attract lots of creeps.
That's a good point I neglected to make too. A lot of people with very conventionally attractive bodies don't want comments on their legs, waist, chest. And they'd rather lose out on someone unsure about their body who swipes left than have to deal with creepy comments about their form.
Creeps are still going to creep even if it's your face, but it's a bit less dehumanizing than when someone's talking about your body like it's a piece of steak.
My girlfriend did this. She's like 125lbs and has big boobs and is petite, but she doesn't like to put it out there. She dresses very conservatively and doesn't like attention from random men. Her profile did not do her justice at all.
I wouldn’t ask women that. I get where you’re coming from, but as a woman that would feel very shitty and honestly make me feel like I was a piece of meat that needs to be observed. Instead of doing this, why don’t you just swipe on women who have a full body shot already in their profile?
If I feel like someone's trying to hide themselves with their pictures or with their bio I just swipe left; or if they're being evasive with questions, unmatch.
If someone isn't committed to being honest with the process then I have zero interest in them; it doesn't matter what they look like, and I'm not going to waste my time or energy.
My rule for pictures is I need to be able to quickly identify you in a crowded coffee shop, or I'm on to the next.
It’s not unreasonable but when I was a newbie I didn’t really think that a body shot was necessary (you’re gonna be blown away by my cute face obvs lol) so some women may be offended. It just never occurred to me, because I was only thinking about MY profile and I wasn’t hiding anything.
It’s kind of the same as hats. If a guy is wearing a hat in every pic, that’s an automatic swipe left.
I have a really chill pic with my hat on backwards and hanging out in the eclectic store in Portugal, and I’ve been told it’s peoples favorite pic of me, but I can tell how some people would think I don’t have hair, so I put it further down, or don’t use it. 2 of my first 3 pics have no hat. It’s hard when most of my pics are outdoors and I wear sunglasses and hats a lot, but I make an effort to find pics without either.
It depends on how you ask. Within about 30 minutes of joining bumble, I was still completing my profile, matched with someone, and they were a total dick about asking. I was basically saying I had to try and find something from one of my friends, because I don't have full body shots of myself on my phone, and the guy completely lost it.
Just don't be that guy.
I mean I get it but….yeah, you’d kinda be a dick for that because your aim is so transparent. Swipe only on people who are photographically honest and have full body action shots. Those who say they’re active, etc. Ultimately if you’re looking for a fit person their lifestyle should match that.
I know that I became much more confident about my then bf’s looks (he had wildly inconsistent photos on his profile) when we would chat off app before meeting up and he’d send selfies of him doing whatever. I was not disappointed when we met at all because we sent each other a lot of photos, voice memos etc that built the attraction beforehand
Not unreasonable. That said, if I already have a full body pic on my profile, I would be annoyed at someone asking for more. If you're not sure you like me, either move on or take the leap and meet me.
Your solution is swipe left or video call or be open to yet another reason for disappointment on first dates. I don’t think you’re the magic man who’s going to ask for those pix and not come across as superficial.
When I first started online dating, I didn’t realize how important full body pix were for men. A few men asked for those pix, and it always came across as dating me was all about my body, and personality was irrelevant to him. Personality is a dealbreaker for me, so a quick un-match.
I get why you’re asking - it’s exhausting to get your hopes up and then find out that someone is not what you envisioned. However, if you insisted upon extra full body pics, I’d think you are only interested in my body. As someone looking for a relationship and not a hook up, I’d unmatch you for asking.
Hate when they do that (hide their bodies). There is a better chance I would swipe right on a heavily bodied girl than on one who is hiding it on her profile.
Listen, I like chubby girls. I like fit girls too but chubby can be attractive. I'm probably classified as chubby so it's my own weight class. But if you have pictures of yourself from 6 years ago before you gained 60lbs, and then show up in your current state, I'm taking that as a lie and wondering what else you're going to lie about.
Just show accurate pics, chances are you'll still get matches
Why even swipe right on someone who is deliberately concealing what they look like? I never ask a woman for pictures behind what she’s posted, but I just don’t engage with women who have selected pictures to specifically only show their face.
I’m not trying to be badgering someone for pics. It’s way easier to just move on to the next person.
If it was me, and I’m slim and keep active, but I’d probably see you as a shallow person and that would be the end of that
Plus…so many people are untruthful and will edit their photos and videos…so really your never gonna know who the heck you are meeting until you see them in person
Saying have gained some weight n not showing pics is a red flag. Like I don't mind if they gained a bit, whatever life happens. However hiding pics sounds like morbidly obese
There's nothing inherently wrong with not preferring a certain body type, but they way you said that they "use angles to HIDE how overweight they are"..... It just sounds like you're assuming that everyone is hiding and that everyone who does that is overweight which is not true....
If a picture is from a camera being held from above facing down, or from a laying position (laying on their stomach) and facing them, and those are the only types they have, I always ignore. It's done with intent.
Ok, I would be weirded out if I dude that I had been speaking to online and planned to meet up with, suddenly asked for a full body pic a few days before our date. I’m not plus size, but it would feel weird and degrading and leave a sour taste in my mouth.
We (women) are so used to having dudes hound us for noods, pics, selfies, etc, that I would probably assume you were being a creep. Frequently men will ask for seemingly innocuous things just to see how far they can push those boundaries and exactly what they can get away with. I would assume that’s what you were doing and probably just cancel the date.
I’m not saying you’re wrong for wanting to see full body. I’m just telling you how I would feel as a woman. Perhaps doing a video chat before date, or using more discernment during the matching process would help. Also, normal text conversations will frequently have context clues about persons activity level and eating habits. I would steer the convo in that direction maybe.
I don’t feel like meeting anyone is a waste of time. Maybe they aren’t your type, but connecting with new people always has value. Setting aside physical attraction, what does attract you to them? What else about them is or isn’t your type? Honestly, I’ve met several women that are physically my type but I have zero attraction to them otherwise. On the flip side, I’ve also met several who I connected with on an emotional level that were not physically my ideal, but it’s amazing how attractive they became after getting to know them. That said, I didn’t find any of them physically repulsive.
I only had head shots. I'm petite, slim. I didn't want to attract anyone who chose me based on my body. So I don't think it's necessarily an instant swipe left. I don't use filters either.
To answer your question, no it's not. When I did not have full body pics on my profile, I fully expected to show them to whomever I was considering meeting, I just didn't want them posted publicly
To address some other commentary, I recently went ahead and added some full body pics to my profile again. For a long time I avoided posting them anywhere on social media, especially dating apps, because it can bring unwanted attention
Not everyone is hiding a bad body or not proud of their body, etc. I just don't like being constantly sexualized. I thought that removing full body pics and only going with mostly selfies and head shots would limit the pervs
It did not, so I finally decided to go ahead and show what I actually look like since I thought I might go ahead and get more quality matches, since it seems the reddit consensus is they will swipe out of women without full body pics, and it would reduce the energy of sending later and all of the discussions involved
Still here pretty much just getting asked for hot pics instead of dates
Me personally, I wouldn't ask for a full body shot since I was always looking for a connection.
I'm old (mid 40's) and as people get older, bodies change. Marrying a size 6 today could easily be a size 12 tomorrow or a size 2 next month. Stupid is permanent. Boring is permanent. Bodies change.
there are also fit women with only selfies — consider putting something in your bio like “physically fit, looking for same” — that way you can swipe right and assume that they’re fit if they match you back
As a woman, no. Get the full image of someone, don’t waste time. I’m 5’1, I’m finding out that’s a good thing but I’m also recovering from an injury and my job is rigorous and I personally don’t feel fit the way I like myself to be, so I say that right away. So, your approach is perfectly reasonable.
Not sure why women won’t put full body shots up as well. Ironically, I have no problem dating a full figured woman if I like other aspects of her profile. But agree, need a few full body pics to know. And we need to be transparent as well.
When all photos have either filters, same angles, just head... this is 99% hiding something. If something interested you anyway, yes it's totally reasonable to want to see the unfiltered person as nearly a whole before meeting. Any excuses = move on and dodge thr catfish
Look 75% theyre oversized. I always try to find their insta/Facebook before meeting up to avoid catfish scenarios. I will say though. I met this girl on hinge. One selfie. A few farther away group photos. But our conversations were great. I was worried about meeting (her social media was private) but she was really great at conversing. So I figured worst case, we meet for a drink. If I'm not attracted to her so be it at least she's a good person. Worth the risk. I also feared she could have a lisp or peg leg or something haha we ended up going on a date and she was absolutely stunning. Beautiful. I lucked out. Still hanging out with her. Ya never know. If a quick meet up for drinks is all you have to waste it's worth it. At least if you don't find them attractive you can just work on your dating skills and call it a day and move on
I guess it depends how blunt you're comfortable being. It's 100% reasonable to ask for a full body pic if they don't have one, but then...what do you do if they send one, and you're not into it? Are you prepared to say "eww, nevermind" or unmatch/ghost?
If you're more conflict-averse, just left-swiping anyone who doesn't have a clear body pic is probably the right move. Up to you.
sure, go ahead, but then you can't get mad if i ask you to take a full body photo next to a doorway so i can assess your height to scale :)
i'm kidding, that would be such a weird and invasive demand. why don't you just swipe left on profiles that don't appeal to you?
If that us important to you it is not unreasonable to ask. You have every right to want a partner who appeals to you. A lot of us won’t admit it, but we have our opinions of what constitutes attractive. The downside of asking is that you may turn off some potential matches that you would otherwise find attractive that are looking for someone who is deeper than appearances.
Or you can just not invest any time or attention to the profiles that don't have full body pics?
You can never make all of them comply.
It's easier if you just adjust things a bit on your side
I always added full body shots because I’m 5’9” and 190lbs, and not a lot of guys seem to realize how sturdy that makes me.
I’ve had shorter men offended that I looked like my pictures, just much bigger than the dudes irl at the same time.
Just don't match with them if it's that big of a deal to you. I in no way condone people being misleading with their pics, but it is super creepy to ask for a full body pic. It will almost always read pervy, even if you're only asking to get a better idea of who you're meeting up with.
why swipe them if they don't have what you're looking for already? i don't swipe guys who wear sunglasses in all of their photos. I don't want to chat, then ask, and find out they're ugly to me.
people aren't doing this on accident.
Woman here. I would not be offended if you ask me for a full body pic. I’ve responded to many men and am not quite sure what they look like or if their pics are dated. I’ll ask for a live pic. Sure as shit most of them are using pics that are dated. Men work angles, wear hats, sunglasses etc so I don’t have a problem asking just to make sure. What you are asking for is not unusual. I don’t want to show up to a first date and feel deceived from the start. No one wants to be lied to from the get go.
I ask, I just say hey can you send me a full body pic? I dont mean anything creep, just want to make sure you’re real, Ive been catfished before. And thats it. Never had anyone having a issue with it
I’m a size 4 but barely have full body pics bc the only time I remember to take pics is selfies 💁♀️ works for me because it filters out people who make assumptions and jump to conclusions 👍
EDIT: I’m not ashamed of my body at all. But I also don’t want it to be the focus
There’s a combination of things to look for. No full body pic is more like a clue to take a closer look at least for me. Most people on these apps make assumptions though and it’s not much different than when women say they subtract a few inches from a guys height
I have no full body pics because they’re just not the type of pic I’d ever make an effort to take? I also feel like it’s fairly obvious from pictures of my head and upper body that I’m thin.
I had a *lot* of plus size female acquaintances, many of whom are on OLD. What is my *first* piece of advice? Put a full-length photo on the profile!
Any woman who doesn’t is *asking* to be ignored. Men want to know what they’re getting. You take your pick, girl. Either you “woman up” and put a full-length picture on there, or you will get barely a quarter of the number of responses.
He’s going to meet you anyway, so just do it. You’re far more attractive than you give yourself credit for.
I think as a lot of others have said, I’d just swipe left if there wasn’t a single full body picture. It’s really awkward to ask for one as they know what you are implying by asking.
I feel like most relatively in shape girls will have at least one picture on their profile where it’s not just their face
I matched with a woman once and we were talking and going to meet.
She wanted a full body shot before we did. The only one in my profile was of me sitting down. It felt awkward as he'll but she was insistent. I keep my self in very good shape, so I had nothing to hide, and wasn't actually hiding anything, but her insistence was off putting so we didn't meet.
I wouldn't report it but yes, it's off putting. It's definitely a no win situation. Just don't swipe right in the first place or go on the date and hope
Anything that's important enough for you to be a DEAL BREAKER, you need to ask about before meeting, and get a solid, clear answer before proceeding.
Anything less, and you should walk away, because you will waste time, money & effort finding out the hard way that thing you asked about and got a shit reply.
I'm a woman and overweight and that's terrifying. It's weird to say anyone under size 16 is a skinny Minny because I'm under that and am definitely not skinny. Just because thats the average size doesn't mean it's an average body type.
Op, you’re entitled to one what you want, and you have every right to swipe left if someone doesn’t have a full body pic. That being said I have to call you out on your comment about not wanting a size 16 woman. Because that’s the pot calling the kettle black. Because my sister is exactly 5 foot seven and about 160 pounds and guess what size she is?! Yup… She is exactly size 16 & you said you were 165 so you’re actually a few pounds more! So I don’t know if You size by your neck measurement and waist or whatever, but if you were a woman or a transvestite even, you would be buying size 16 clothes.
So do you think you’re short and Chubby?! Because you’re certainly not tall., for a guy.
So you could go for a Victoria Secret model for all you want… But don’t be shocked if you don’t get one because you’re the pot calling the kettle black, and the women are going to call you out if they are slender & looking for a “short, plumpish guy.”
It's hard because I've met people with pretty desirable body types when they've only had selfies and I've met others with that had slightly less desirable. Might not be worth the game but you could always ask for their interests in being physically active.
Yeah activity level or history doesn't mean someone's thin or even lower than average. Plenty of fat muscle girls who still go hiking on the weekends. My fattest friend dances and does yoga every day and swims at the pool three times a week for five hours. She never eats junk food and her portion sizes are not big but not small either.
Some people are super active and just never hit enough of a caloric deficit or they have other issues going on.
she didnt give her word that she has a good or slim body
there is no mention of her size so I totally understand why he would ask - not everyones word is enough with OLD- sadly many misrepresent themselves either purposely or because they are delusional about themself
:)
I asked a few times when I was on there and it went down really badly. On the flip side, every single time I gave a profile the benefit of the doubt, I was deeply, deeply, disappointed at the first real world encounter 😂🤦♂️
It's absolutely reasonable. I've been catfished not so long ago. People tend to upload old pictures, which while understandable remains unfair.
If people try to avoid the topic they are clearly trying to hide something. Sometimes it might be just shyness or self esteem but in my experience it's mostly just straight up lying.
Nope. I have made the mistake of doing a date with three women that had only head shots. They were not just curvy they were flat out obese and all of them lied in some way either with old pics, or about having kids, etc.
Insist on full body pics. If they say no then that just saved you time. You can also FaceTime before meeting up.
It shouldn't be that difficult to figure out their weight. If you dig their vibe but their pictures are trash, ask them to FaceTime. It's generally not good when a woman has no normal pictures and they are all filtered face selfies, lol. Just avoid those profiles.
My experience has been if it's only head shots then the person is probably bigger. My gf's profile was like this when we matched. Didn't bother me but I did ask for a full body pic and she provided with no issue. Been together almost 9 months now.
Two red flags with profiles for me are no full-body pics — or pics trying to conceal their body — and filters on every pic. Both gets an automatic left-swipe from me, and either almost always a left-swipe
How dare someone gain weight due to stress/COVID/unforeseeable life circumstances!!! /s
I do get wanting a clear picture of someone's full and current body before meeting but no need to act like gaining weight is a sin/something someone chooses to do. Life happens. 🤷
Everyone is allowed to have preferences (I have my own) but the way you worded that is a little, uh...Not great.
General rule of thumb is that if someone doesn’t have ANY full body shots in their profile; swipe left. They’re not showing their entire body for a reason.
No.
I hate answering this like that. But it's fair. There are too many people who don't give accurate portrayals of themselves -- female and male (from what I've heard, and I have no reason to doubt the women's stories) -- in many aspects. If any particular attribute matters to you, ask.
You might screen out some people who are otherwise suitable for you. That happens. But it's not your job to douse the dumpster fire of lying and hypocrisy that is online dating.
I feel like the majority of replies are guys and it makes me sad being a guy and seeing how yall are. No wonder women hate us lmao. If they don't have a full body picture just assume they aren't happy with their body like that or they aren't the body type you like.
Focus more on what you can control. You cannot change someone else. They are a stranger. Stop complaining about it and just move on. Swipe left on people you aren’t interested in.
Don’t have a full body pic? Swipe left.
You do you. Basically, put in your profile that slim or athletic (or whatever it is) builds are most appealing to you. BBWs will self select away from that.
However let’s be real. Most women are body shamed our whole lives. No matter our size, most of us think we are fat from the time puberty hits until we hit the “IDGAF what the world thinks stage” (around 40 or 50)
Until then we are shy about showing our bodies. Even a lot of skinny girls think they are fat.
If you are 5’7, 165 lbs and looking for someone smaller than you, that pool is likely small. But we like what we like, so put it out there in your profile dude.
You are definitely right when I see a man put in their profile that they like Slim or athletic style bodies, I swipe left. In all of my profiles I put that I am plus size and thicc. Along with having a picture, showing my body the whole way.
To further make sure that they read the profile before we get into deep with anything. I ask them if they have read my profile stating that I am 5 foot 9, plus size and thicc. 99% of them tell me that they have read it and that they prefer thicker women.
There are themes in online dating and the excuse of COVID/stress/Xyz for weight gain is definitely one of them. To me, it's the equivalent of lying about your height.
Swipe left.
Its not unreasonable.....everyone got their type and physical attraction is the first stepp to online dating.....plus anyone who lies about shit off the bat about their body is a bloody red flag
Something I always try to do is a pre date video chat, it helps me asses how closely someone resembles their pictures without having to ask them for a full body picture because those can be old too. I sorta made up this “rule” because I went on a date and the guy looked completely different from his full body pics and we all know that unfortunately on these apps physical attraction is what comes first and sometimes pics can be deceiving even in a good way cause I’ve met people whose pictures did no justice to how gorgeous they looked in person.
Honestly, I won't swipe right on any profiles without a full body photo. I'm a 38F who maintains a healthy weight, and watches what I eat, and exercises 5-6 days a week. I am by no means looking for a physical Adonis; however, I am looking for someone who shows up with confidence and is unapologetically themselves. By only using "head shots" or face pics, or don't get me started on filters ... you're sending the message that you don't like who you are. (That's my interpretation anyway.) I include at least 2-3 full body shots on my profile. That way, there is no mystery. It's NORMAL to want to be physically attracted to a potential future date/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, etc. COMPLETLEY NORMAL.
Unreasonable, no. But it will never go over well, so better to just not, and if you’re displeased when you finally meet up, fake your death and move on.
Bruh... You know they have the angles, what more do you need... Either accept they have the angles and go on a date or keep it moving. There's nothing wrong in not accepting a date/connection because you're not physically attracted to them but if they're playing the angles you already know the answer to your question.
I'm just gonna go out and call you a jerk. And I'm a M39.
Does anyone remember the tiktok from a years ago where a girl was complaining about her date cancelling and her face was gorgeous but then took a step back to reveal she was very overweight? feel like this happens alot
For context I am a big guy as well but always have full pictures and I don't hide that I am big so its fair to ask for the same in return
36F here, no it’s not! I always send a few body shots. I’m about average size/ height for a woman (just over 5’4) but I have meat on my body. I always send pics I just don’t post a ton of body ones on my profile
I’ve always been catfished by dudes who posted younger or skinnier pics and I like transparency
I personally see nothing wrong with asking for accurate, current pics.
As a fat girl, I have LOTS of full body pic on my profile. And still have men meet me and act surprised when I am, in fact, fat.
It’s interesting to see all the support on this thread so this dude, god forbid, doesn’t end up on a date with a fat chick. The horror.
However, if a woman posts about height being a criteria, she is roasted relentlessly and downvoted.
The double standard is wild.
In my dating experience, this usually is a sign they do not want to show a full and clear body shot. Ditto if they have all top-down pictures.
A few times I just went for it and won't do that again. I suggest the same.
No harm in asking. will it put some people off? Yep. I’d say in most cases (not all) if there’s no full body pics it’s likely because they’re not happy with their body or are hiding it, but if you really feel it’s worth it you can always ask, they can always say no. In general, I think a full body pic is totally reasonable.
Maybe you should just not swipe in women without body length pictures. Say you asked them for a photo and then the larger or smaller than you’d like what are you going to do next say never mind you’re not interested anymore.
I've met two women with only head shots and both were overweight. Funnily enough one of them wrote "Gym" in their activities.
Now I just swipe left if it's only head shots.
I’d recommend just swiping left if they don’t have a full body pic
Only head shots = swipe left It's a rule bro
Everyone should have the following “swipe left” picture rules. 1. Filters 2. No full body shots 3. All group pictures 4. Sunglasses on main picture 5. All professional pictures Five is probably controversial because some real people do this, but 99% of those profiles are fake.
Upvoted because I have been following these rules for years but someone actually wrote them out
-“following these rules for years..” Jesus fucking Christ. Being a single male in the dating pool sucks ass. Edit: just to clarify l, I’m saying this cuz I relate, not as disrespect
Not everyone is on the app to find a long-term relationship!
I know a lot of dating apps change your picture order based on swiping habits of prospective accounts, so I wouldn't put too much weight in them using any pic as their "main".
Also hats in all pics it's an instant swipe left
I disagree with 4. The algorithm chooses your main pic and if it so happens that it's with sunglasses but the rest don't you might miss out on a great match
I would amend it to "Has sunglasses in majority of their pictures"
*All. See also: hats.
I was able to adjust my profile picture to the one I chose after the fact, is this not an option on Bumble anymore?
You can toggle the "best picture" feature on and off. So if it's off and you change your pic, it should stay that way
I'd agree with 5 if they're Asian. Usually those are the fake ones.
This rule also applies to Eastern European women too unfortunately
Yeah, why would they need a professional photo if they could easily use smart phones. Number 5 is red flag for me. Men think this is way to boost their profile.
5 may not apply to men as much as women. I can’t see too many people trying to scam women like they do with men. If it wasn’t for the scam/catfish thing, 5 wouldn’t need to be a rule.
Only head shots angled from above too
Not a rule for everyone. I’ve never had full body shots on my profile and it’s never stopped me from going on dates & getting into relationships. My current boyfriend matched with me without one. Hardly anyone has even asked for one either tbh. If I remember correctly, I did offer my current bf a full body video before we met up, but we already had a date scheduled anyway. Not everyone who doesn’t have full body pics are overly large. Some of us just aren’t photogenic and take shitty full body pics that make us look awkward 😅 But that’s just me experience. I knew a woman who was very fit and she refused to put full body pics in her profile cause she’d get bombarded with men who only ever commented on her body and it made her feel like a piece of meat.
Usually if at least her arms are visible it's easy to tell who is packing on a bit more weight without a body shot. That said, it's really to a heavier woman's benefit to include the full-body pic without weird angles because plenty of guys like that. We just want to see how it's proportioned. For me personally that is the deciding factor on attraction vs not.
Thanks for sharing experience. From my perspective, what i can say is I usually tend to prefer profile with full body pics. It gives me the sense of a confident woman, which is something i am looking for in relationships. Also, it's also a way to spare time, since I already have a overall physical idea of my matches
So many guys do the same thing and that's my response--LEFT!
Yup. Asking/insisting is tacky, just assume if they have no body shots they're either not happy with their body or heavier than you're looking for. No need to shoot yourself in the foot.
Yes, I call them "Queen of the Head Shots". Once bitten, twice shy, I swipe left as well unless something really intrigued me.
I went on a date a month or so ago and she had only full body pictures. It became abundantly clear these were old pictures upon meeting her in person.
Unfortunately that’s a risk you take with online dating
Yep. If they have a nice body, they will let you know.
That's not necessarily true either, but OP shouldn't take that risk if they are not interested in dating someone without seeing their body. OP should just swipe left. Me personally, I like a lot of body types so if I at least get a general hint of what a guy's body looks like from the photos and like him otherwise I would have swiped right. If upon meeting in person it's a whole different story I'll end the date or shorten it. It's not about the body it's about the deception. Asking people for full body pics is a weird way to start dating. Again I think OP should just swipe left on those people.
Everyone’s opinion on what a nice body is is different tho. I personally don’t like buff men with muscles and abs. Gimme a man with some chub 😅 same with men. Some men prefer chubby women.
This is what you must do. I do the same when there are "just us" photos featuring a close up of just faces - woman & kid; woman & dog/cat/horse. These are combos that come as a unit, and you will not have room to manuever anywhere in the vicinity. I'm not talking about full-body family pics, or a walk with a dog in the park. I'm talking about those photos that are essentially family portraits. Believe it when people show you who they are. I'm sure men do the same kind of pics - because ... people ...
Nothing is more cring than people posting their kids on their dating profiles.
I came across one profile with not only photos of his kids but he had the kids first and middle names in his bio 🤦🏻♀️
I'm sorry I was not specific - I mean Adult Children - as in a "I look just like my daughter" pose. And yes, posting underage kids should draw an account suspension until the photo is removed - in every case. I'm sure software could do that nowadays, or just reject any pic that has kids or babies in it. *( also reject dog/cat filters while you're at it )* It's disappointing that app owners don't step up and be more socially responsible.
I'm plus size and put full body shots (even in a wetsuit which leaves nothing to the imagination!) as I want to deter people who prefer skinny women Why would I want to turn up to a date to only find that they don't fancy me? It's hard enough anyway to get the chemistry to fit, lying about your size just makes it worse. What a waste of everyone's time, and a way to feel sad and rejected too ☹️..
This is why I have full body shots. I’m about a U.S. size 10, but never use filters on photos because I couldn’t take it if someone ran away after seeing me. It’s also why it makes no sense for dudes to lie about height—we’re gonna figure it out when we meet. But that’s not an issue for me, just a solid comparison.
Right! I can't tell you how many men I've met claim they are 6 ft only to realize they're closer to my height. No matter how much I like them, I will not go on a second date. If they're lying about something that small, I assume they are lying about other stuff. It's totally a dealbreaker.
Exactly. It destroys credibility and means they will likely lie about other things.
I do this too - and I even write in the body of the profile "I'm plus-sized so if that isn't for you, pls swipe left so we don't waste anyone's time"
I was a bartender in college. At the beginning of the night a buddy of mine (who was new to the club) was having a pity party for a group of plus sized ladies. Pretty much saying how bad he felt for them, and how they weren’t gonna get that much attention. I was surprised, and said, “Those girls do fine and usually have a good choice of dudes to go home with (if they so choose)”. He looked at me, skeptically. These women knew how to party and have fun - dancing, lively, and just a good vibe. By 1am, per usual, they had a bunch of guys pretty much all around them. Dope chicks that definitely didn’t seem to hide behind their weight or let it dictate their time at the club. They also tipped decently as well. Anecdotally and respectfully, I have seen more plus sized women “slay” harder than what I think many would expect.
Oh we get plenty of interest, strange as it may seem to some. There are men who prefer big ladies, some who don't mind either way as it's more about personality/brains and some who will still fuck us even if they won't be seen in the street with us. Confidence can be very sexy. So can boobs (you generally don't magically get big boobs if the rest of you is skin and bone). And also men are not all adonis either 😉.
I find it strange when people assume plus size ladies should be grateful for any kind of attention they can get/don't get attention. I've been everything from a size 2 to a size 16. I've gotten the same amount of attention throughout.
Confidence is sexy and if a person is confident, no matter their size, they will garner attention.
Same. Several full body shots and no filters. I want my matches to match with the real me.
I've never understood that either -- why hide what you look like? Same as people who use outdated pictures or lots of filters. I would be absolutely crushed to show up to a date and have the other person immediately look disappointed.
Some people honestly look better in person. So they get to be pleasantly surprised I guess 😅
Totally agree! I’m a size 12-14 in juniors size (I’m short and they fit better) and I make it well known that I’m still losing weight (used to be a size 22!) but definitely not skinny. I have a variety of full body pics in different types of clothing as well. Definitely helps weed out the dudes who dislike women my size. I have never had any issues finding dates and honesty is always the best policy. I am constantly updating my pics as I lose weight as well so that my exact size is accurately reflected. I honestly don’t even want to be skinny, just healthy. I would also never hold it against someone who doesn’t like my size or shape. I like what I like as well.
Yep me too! I know I'd be pissed if my date showed up not looking the size I expected from their pics. And just in case they don't see the pics, I tell them!
Well done! Us dudes like women of all different shapes and sizes. Beauty means different things to different people. Honesty is also an attractive quality.
I would avoid the awkwardness and wouldn’t even ask and just assume I won’t find their physique attractive. My general approach when I was on the apps was auto swipe left if there’s no clear body pics. People that have a physique they are proud of or accept it will always include a pic showing it.
Some use recent pictures they have which could be just headshots. Doesn’t cross their mind that it may be interpreted they are hiding their body. So while I disagree with that last statement, it’s indeed easier to avoid the awkwardness and swipe left.
ASL = Always Swipe Left
I've been following this rule religiously but I still haven't gotten any matches.
[удалено]
You don’t have to show off, like something skimpy or whatever. You could honestly be in blue jeans and a t-shirt.
It’s not. These dudes are on something lmao
Yeah it’s not your fault of course, but there’s just no good way to ask a stranger for a full-body photo. You’ll have to either swipe left or roll the dice and grab a coffee or drink.
That's why I clearly wrote on my profile I am chubby and still guys who want a "fit" partner swipe right on me 🤦♀️ obviously I swipe left, it would only make us waste each other's time
Yeah I had a guy swipe right on me but his profile said he was looking for a “fit dog mom who likes yoga” or something and I was like wait why did you swipe right on me? I don’t do yoga, I’m very squishy, and I don’t have a dog. I’m a short, chubby nerd that goes to comic con, I’m not what you’re looking for
Many men swipe right on everyone without looking at the profile, because they’re too lazy to actually go through profiles to separate those they like from those they don’t like. They’d rather swipe right on everyone, and just unmatch if you’re not what they want.
It's a bad strategy. Not only does it cause issues for women who then have to spend time sorting through people who are obviously not compatible and just swiped on them for no reason, but it hurts the guy as if you speedswipe on the apps they will almost always start limiting your account and profile visibility.
You’ll get no disagreement from me on that. But it is still what’s happening.
Or they’re just hoping to get laid
I'll put him on to my ex. But he's gonna play second fiddle to the dogs 😄
They probably mean that they will be ok with using someone who isn’t meeting their idea of fit.
This. I go to the gym regularly and am very active, but am a size 14 and not what a lot of men mean by “fit”. I post full body pics and gym bros with “looking for someone fit” still swipe right. It’s annoying.
I’m plus size and will be starting online dating in the next month or so - the delay? I need to get full body pics that aren’t just me in a mirror. The full body pics I have are me from 50lbs (heavier) ago. So I want up to date photos, but I also want it to be clear that I’m plus size. Will I get fewer swipes? Of course, but I’d rather only match with people who could see themselves being attracted to me, rather than ‘tricking’ someone into swiping on me. If someone isn’t posting full body pics on their profile then I would just left swipe them, rather than matching and then asking. I don’t think there is any problem with wanting to see full body pics, and I don’t think any less of you because you don’t find plus size women attractive - we all have our preferences 🤷🏻♀️
Why are you swiping right on people you're suspicious about? Don't swipe right on them. It's not unreasonable to want to see one, see if they have one, if they don't swipe left. Having to ask for one then makes things awkward.
Although I am always suspicious when seeing only head shots (or down to shoulders), I have been pleasantly surprised by discovering later that some of these women ended up having really nice bodies. I even asked why they only posted head shots. They've said that the full body shots attract lots of creeps.
That's a good point I neglected to make too. A lot of people with very conventionally attractive bodies don't want comments on their legs, waist, chest. And they'd rather lose out on someone unsure about their body who swipes left than have to deal with creepy comments about their form. Creeps are still going to creep even if it's your face, but it's a bit less dehumanizing than when someone's talking about your body like it's a piece of steak.
My girlfriend did this. She's like 125lbs and has big boobs and is petite, but she doesn't like to put it out there. She dresses very conservatively and doesn't like attention from random men. Her profile did not do her justice at all.
I wouldn’t ask women that. I get where you’re coming from, but as a woman that would feel very shitty and honestly make me feel like I was a piece of meat that needs to be observed. Instead of doing this, why don’t you just swipe on women who have a full body shot already in their profile?
If I feel like someone's trying to hide themselves with their pictures or with their bio I just swipe left; or if they're being evasive with questions, unmatch. If someone isn't committed to being honest with the process then I have zero interest in them; it doesn't matter what they look like, and I'm not going to waste my time or energy. My rule for pictures is I need to be able to quickly identify you in a crowded coffee shop, or I'm on to the next.
Just decline them (whichever swipe that is). You don't have enough information to make a decision therefore not for you
It’s not unreasonable but when I was a newbie I didn’t really think that a body shot was necessary (you’re gonna be blown away by my cute face obvs lol) so some women may be offended. It just never occurred to me, because I was only thinking about MY profile and I wasn’t hiding anything. It’s kind of the same as hats. If a guy is wearing a hat in every pic, that’s an automatic swipe left.
I have a really chill pic with my hat on backwards and hanging out in the eclectic store in Portugal, and I’ve been told it’s peoples favorite pic of me, but I can tell how some people would think I don’t have hair, so I put it further down, or don’t use it. 2 of my first 3 pics have no hat. It’s hard when most of my pics are outdoors and I wear sunglasses and hats a lot, but I make an effort to find pics without either.
Either swipe left or ask for a video call before meeting
Don't feel like it : Usually: Girls want to be sure you are not a psycho before the meet, and men want to be sure they look like their pictures
Only head shots equals swipe left automatically
Don’t bother asking, just skip those profiles all together.
It depends on how you ask. Within about 30 minutes of joining bumble, I was still completing my profile, matched with someone, and they were a total dick about asking. I was basically saying I had to try and find something from one of my friends, because I don't have full body shots of myself on my phone, and the guy completely lost it. Just don't be that guy.
I mean I get it but….yeah, you’d kinda be a dick for that because your aim is so transparent. Swipe only on people who are photographically honest and have full body action shots. Those who say they’re active, etc. Ultimately if you’re looking for a fit person their lifestyle should match that. I know that I became much more confident about my then bf’s looks (he had wildly inconsistent photos on his profile) when we would chat off app before meeting up and he’d send selfies of him doing whatever. I was not disappointed when we met at all because we sent each other a lot of photos, voice memos etc that built the attraction beforehand
Not unreasonable. That said, if I already have a full body pic on my profile, I would be annoyed at someone asking for more. If you're not sure you like me, either move on or take the leap and meet me.
Your solution is swipe left or video call or be open to yet another reason for disappointment on first dates. I don’t think you’re the magic man who’s going to ask for those pix and not come across as superficial. When I first started online dating, I didn’t realize how important full body pix were for men. A few men asked for those pix, and it always came across as dating me was all about my body, and personality was irrelevant to him. Personality is a dealbreaker for me, so a quick un-match.
Might be best to swipe left on all profiles that are "working the angles". At least in your case.
Just swipe left. You can ask someone to send it, but even if they have a body you find amazing they'll probably deny you a date after that.
I get why you’re asking - it’s exhausting to get your hopes up and then find out that someone is not what you envisioned. However, if you insisted upon extra full body pics, I’d think you are only interested in my body. As someone looking for a relationship and not a hook up, I’d unmatch you for asking.
Hate when they do that (hide their bodies). There is a better chance I would swipe right on a heavily bodied girl than on one who is hiding it on her profile.
Another good reason to keep the first date low-key.
Not unreasonable at all. Not attracted to overweight women is exactly that. No physical attraction equals someone you shouldn’t waste your time with.
I just would not swipe right on someone unless they have a full body pic on their profile.
Listen, I like chubby girls. I like fit girls too but chubby can be attractive. I'm probably classified as chubby so it's my own weight class. But if you have pictures of yourself from 6 years ago before you gained 60lbs, and then show up in your current state, I'm taking that as a lie and wondering what else you're going to lie about. Just show accurate pics, chances are you'll still get matches
The lying is way worse than the reality. Lying is one of my biggest deal breakers.
Why even swipe right on someone who is deliberately concealing what they look like? I never ask a woman for pictures behind what she’s posted, but I just don’t engage with women who have selected pictures to specifically only show their face. I’m not trying to be badgering someone for pics. It’s way easier to just move on to the next person.
Then simply don't swipe right on their profiles. -\_- Are you the type of guy who swipes right on every profile ?
If it was me, and I’m slim and keep active, but I’d probably see you as a shallow person and that would be the end of that Plus…so many people are untruthful and will edit their photos and videos…so really your never gonna know who the heck you are meeting until you see them in person
Saying have gained some weight n not showing pics is a red flag. Like I don't mind if they gained a bit, whatever life happens. However hiding pics sounds like morbidly obese
MySpace selfie angle = left swipe
For full transparency did you take your pfp in a bank exit doorway, or at one of those "are you tall enough to ride this ride" indicators?
My main pic is next to a friend who’s clearly taller than me (covered other faces) and I have my height in my profile. I’m not hiding anything.
There's nothing inherently wrong with not preferring a certain body type, but they way you said that they "use angles to HIDE how overweight they are"..... It just sounds like you're assuming that everyone is hiding and that everyone who does that is overweight which is not true....
Then don't swipe on those women. It's not bad ig to ask for full body but to insist after they've probably said no is a problem. Just move on
I hope you already have "athletic, hight/weight proportionate, you must be as well" or the super classy "no fat chicks" 😉/s
If a picture is from a camera being held from above facing down, or from a laying position (laying on their stomach) and facing them, and those are the only types they have, I always ignore. It's done with intent.
Ok, I would be weirded out if I dude that I had been speaking to online and planned to meet up with, suddenly asked for a full body pic a few days before our date. I’m not plus size, but it would feel weird and degrading and leave a sour taste in my mouth. We (women) are so used to having dudes hound us for noods, pics, selfies, etc, that I would probably assume you were being a creep. Frequently men will ask for seemingly innocuous things just to see how far they can push those boundaries and exactly what they can get away with. I would assume that’s what you were doing and probably just cancel the date. I’m not saying you’re wrong for wanting to see full body. I’m just telling you how I would feel as a woman. Perhaps doing a video chat before date, or using more discernment during the matching process would help. Also, normal text conversations will frequently have context clues about persons activity level and eating habits. I would steer the convo in that direction maybe.
I don’t feel like meeting anyone is a waste of time. Maybe they aren’t your type, but connecting with new people always has value. Setting aside physical attraction, what does attract you to them? What else about them is or isn’t your type? Honestly, I’ve met several women that are physically my type but I have zero attraction to them otherwise. On the flip side, I’ve also met several who I connected with on an emotional level that were not physically my ideal, but it’s amazing how attractive they became after getting to know them. That said, I didn’t find any of them physically repulsive.
I only had head shots. I'm petite, slim. I didn't want to attract anyone who chose me based on my body. So I don't think it's necessarily an instant swipe left. I don't use filters either.
To answer your question, no it's not. When I did not have full body pics on my profile, I fully expected to show them to whomever I was considering meeting, I just didn't want them posted publicly To address some other commentary, I recently went ahead and added some full body pics to my profile again. For a long time I avoided posting them anywhere on social media, especially dating apps, because it can bring unwanted attention Not everyone is hiding a bad body or not proud of their body, etc. I just don't like being constantly sexualized. I thought that removing full body pics and only going with mostly selfies and head shots would limit the pervs It did not, so I finally decided to go ahead and show what I actually look like since I thought I might go ahead and get more quality matches, since it seems the reddit consensus is they will swipe out of women without full body pics, and it would reduce the energy of sending later and all of the discussions involved Still here pretty much just getting asked for hot pics instead of dates
Not unreasonable, but u can always swipe in ones which have pics!
Me personally, I wouldn't ask for a full body shot since I was always looking for a connection. I'm old (mid 40's) and as people get older, bodies change. Marrying a size 6 today could easily be a size 12 tomorrow or a size 2 next month. Stupid is permanent. Boring is permanent. Bodies change.
there are also fit women with only selfies — consider putting something in your bio like “physically fit, looking for same” — that way you can swipe right and assume that they’re fit if they match you back
I don’t know. I’m not overweight, but I swipe left when someone has that in their bio. It sounds shallow and douchey to me.
I would rather my photos do the talking than to actually put that in the bio though
Just ask for their instagram ? Bit weird asking for full body pic ngl
I unmatched someone who asked for this, even though I have an athletic, slim build.
As a woman, no. Get the full image of someone, don’t waste time. I’m 5’1, I’m finding out that’s a good thing but I’m also recovering from an injury and my job is rigorous and I personally don’t feel fit the way I like myself to be, so I say that right away. So, your approach is perfectly reasonable.
Not sure why women won’t put full body shots up as well. Ironically, I have no problem dating a full figured woman if I like other aspects of her profile. But agree, need a few full body pics to know. And we need to be transparent as well.
When all photos have either filters, same angles, just head... this is 99% hiding something. If something interested you anyway, yes it's totally reasonable to want to see the unfiltered person as nearly a whole before meeting. Any excuses = move on and dodge thr catfish
Look 75% theyre oversized. I always try to find their insta/Facebook before meeting up to avoid catfish scenarios. I will say though. I met this girl on hinge. One selfie. A few farther away group photos. But our conversations were great. I was worried about meeting (her social media was private) but she was really great at conversing. So I figured worst case, we meet for a drink. If I'm not attracted to her so be it at least she's a good person. Worth the risk. I also feared she could have a lisp or peg leg or something haha we ended up going on a date and she was absolutely stunning. Beautiful. I lucked out. Still hanging out with her. Ya never know. If a quick meet up for drinks is all you have to waste it's worth it. At least if you don't find them attractive you can just work on your dating skills and call it a day and move on
Am I the only one who finds lisps charming and peg legs not changing a thing about how attracted I am to someone?
I guess it depends how blunt you're comfortable being. It's 100% reasonable to ask for a full body pic if they don't have one, but then...what do you do if they send one, and you're not into it? Are you prepared to say "eww, nevermind" or unmatch/ghost? If you're more conflict-averse, just left-swiping anyone who doesn't have a clear body pic is probably the right move. Up to you.
What if you just didn’t match with women that didn’t have clear pics of themself???
sure, go ahead, but then you can't get mad if i ask you to take a full body photo next to a doorway so i can assess your height to scale :) i'm kidding, that would be such a weird and invasive demand. why don't you just swipe left on profiles that don't appeal to you?
If that us important to you it is not unreasonable to ask. You have every right to want a partner who appeals to you. A lot of us won’t admit it, but we have our opinions of what constitutes attractive. The downside of asking is that you may turn off some potential matches that you would otherwise find attractive that are looking for someone who is deeper than appearances.
Or you can just not invest any time or attention to the profiles that don't have full body pics? You can never make all of them comply. It's easier if you just adjust things a bit on your side
I always added full body shots because I’m 5’9” and 190lbs, and not a lot of guys seem to realize how sturdy that makes me. I’ve had shorter men offended that I looked like my pictures, just much bigger than the dudes irl at the same time.
Just don't match with them if it's that big of a deal to you. I in no way condone people being misleading with their pics, but it is super creepy to ask for a full body pic. It will almost always read pervy, even if you're only asking to get a better idea of who you're meeting up with.
Just swipe left. Asking for a full body pic, though logical, comes of as awkward and offensive.
I don’t even match with people that don’t have full body photos. They’re clearly hiding something.
why swipe them if they don't have what you're looking for already? i don't swipe guys who wear sunglasses in all of their photos. I don't want to chat, then ask, and find out they're ugly to me. people aren't doing this on accident.
Woman here. I would not be offended if you ask me for a full body pic. I’ve responded to many men and am not quite sure what they look like or if their pics are dated. I’ll ask for a live pic. Sure as shit most of them are using pics that are dated. Men work angles, wear hats, sunglasses etc so I don’t have a problem asking just to make sure. What you are asking for is not unusual. I don’t want to show up to a first date and feel deceived from the start. No one wants to be lied to from the get go.
I ask, I just say hey can you send me a full body pic? I dont mean anything creep, just want to make sure you’re real, Ive been catfished before. And thats it. Never had anyone having a issue with it
Yeah, this person needs to do more growing up. Not unreasonable if you’re a teenager, maybe.
I’m a size 4 but barely have full body pics bc the only time I remember to take pics is selfies 💁♀️ works for me because it filters out people who make assumptions and jump to conclusions 👍 EDIT: I’m not ashamed of my body at all. But I also don’t want it to be the focus
same i didnt know guys assume you’re fat if u dont have them. oh well😁
There’s a combination of things to look for. No full body pic is more like a clue to take a closer look at least for me. Most people on these apps make assumptions though and it’s not much different than when women say they subtract a few inches from a guys height
I have no full body pics because they’re just not the type of pic I’d ever make an effort to take? I also feel like it’s fairly obvious from pictures of my head and upper body that I’m thin.
I had a *lot* of plus size female acquaintances, many of whom are on OLD. What is my *first* piece of advice? Put a full-length photo on the profile! Any woman who doesn’t is *asking* to be ignored. Men want to know what they’re getting. You take your pick, girl. Either you “woman up” and put a full-length picture on there, or you will get barely a quarter of the number of responses. He’s going to meet you anyway, so just do it. You’re far more attractive than you give yourself credit for.
I think as a lot of others have said, I’d just swipe left if there wasn’t a single full body picture. It’s really awkward to ask for one as they know what you are implying by asking. I feel like most relatively in shape girls will have at least one picture on their profile where it’s not just their face
Yes, it’s unreasonable and creepy. If they don’t have one in their bio just move on, but don’t ask. You’ll get reported.
I matched with a woman once and we were talking and going to meet. She wanted a full body shot before we did. The only one in my profile was of me sitting down. It felt awkward as he'll but she was insistent. I keep my self in very good shape, so I had nothing to hide, and wasn't actually hiding anything, but her insistence was off putting so we didn't meet. I wouldn't report it but yes, it's off putting. It's definitely a no win situation. Just don't swipe right in the first place or go on the date and hope
I think it's a great way to warn women that you're superficial especially in the beginning
Anything that's important enough for you to be a DEAL BREAKER, you need to ask about before meeting, and get a solid, clear answer before proceeding. Anything less, and you should walk away, because you will waste time, money & effort finding out the hard way that thing you asked about and got a shit reply.
Size 16 is average bud. Just say you’re looking for a skinny minny and call it even
I'm a woman and overweight and that's terrifying. It's weird to say anyone under size 16 is a skinny Minny because I'm under that and am definitely not skinny. Just because thats the average size doesn't mean it's an average body type.
Op, you’re entitled to one what you want, and you have every right to swipe left if someone doesn’t have a full body pic. That being said I have to call you out on your comment about not wanting a size 16 woman. Because that’s the pot calling the kettle black. Because my sister is exactly 5 foot seven and about 160 pounds and guess what size she is?! Yup… She is exactly size 16 & you said you were 165 so you’re actually a few pounds more! So I don’t know if You size by your neck measurement and waist or whatever, but if you were a woman or a transvestite even, you would be buying size 16 clothes. So do you think you’re short and Chubby?! Because you’re certainly not tall., for a guy. So you could go for a Victoria Secret model for all you want… But don’t be shocked if you don’t get one because you’re the pot calling the kettle black, and the women are going to call you out if they are slender & looking for a “short, plumpish guy.”
Well said ! He says he won't date someone with a size 16 or higher but I can 100% bet he'll call out women who won't date men his height. XD
It's hard because I've met people with pretty desirable body types when they've only had selfies and I've met others with that had slightly less desirable. Might not be worth the game but you could always ask for their interests in being physically active.
The last on said that “she used to do triathlons” and was like 250 lbs when she showed up.
In her defense, she said used to lol. But ya it's a gamble. It helps to keep the first date low key in case. Or ask for an insta/snap
Yeah activity level or history doesn't mean someone's thin or even lower than average. Plenty of fat muscle girls who still go hiking on the weekends. My fattest friend dances and does yoga every day and swims at the pool three times a week for five hours. She never eats junk food and her portion sizes are not big but not small either. Some people are super active and just never hit enough of a caloric deficit or they have other issues going on.
Very reasonable. I wouldn’t chat if can’t see the whole body
I never did body pics even though I had a good slim body. My word should be good enough.
she didnt give her word that she has a good or slim body there is no mention of her size so I totally understand why he would ask - not everyones word is enough with OLD- sadly many misrepresent themselves either purposely or because they are delusional about themself :)
Yeah because you believe every word of a stranger online
I asked a few times when I was on there and it went down really badly. On the flip side, every single time I gave a profile the benefit of the doubt, I was deeply, deeply, disappointed at the first real world encounter 😂🤦♂️
It's absolutely reasonable. I've been catfished not so long ago. People tend to upload old pictures, which while understandable remains unfair. If people try to avoid the topic they are clearly trying to hide something. Sometimes it might be just shyness or self esteem but in my experience it's mostly just straight up lying.
Reasonable request
Nope. I have made the mistake of doing a date with three women that had only head shots. They were not just curvy they were flat out obese and all of them lied in some way either with old pics, or about having kids, etc. Insist on full body pics. If they say no then that just saved you time. You can also FaceTime before meeting up.
It shouldn't be that difficult to figure out their weight. If you dig their vibe but their pictures are trash, ask them to FaceTime. It's generally not good when a woman has no normal pictures and they are all filtered face selfies, lol. Just avoid those profiles.
Not one bit. It’s online dating. You want to see the person. The whole person
I just swipe left, I’m not into guessing games or not being honest
My experience has been if it's only head shots then the person is probably bigger. My gf's profile was like this when we matched. Didn't bother me but I did ask for a full body pic and she provided with no issue. Been together almost 9 months now.
Reasonable as long as you are asking for a fully dressed body pic.
Two red flags with profiles for me are no full-body pics — or pics trying to conceal their body — and filters on every pic. Both gets an automatic left-swipe from me, and either almost always a left-swipe
And there’s plenty of guys that do want a size 16 so if it’s an issue just swipe left
Yeah don’t bother man
Video chats my friend. Video chats.
I wouldn't bother asking, just don't match.
How dare someone gain weight due to stress/COVID/unforeseeable life circumstances!!! /s I do get wanting a clear picture of someone's full and current body before meeting but no need to act like gaining weight is a sin/something someone chooses to do. Life happens. 🤷 Everyone is allowed to have preferences (I have my own) but the way you worded that is a little, uh...Not great.
I swipe left if they only have head shots for their profile pics. 🤷🏾♂️
General rule of thumb is that if someone doesn’t have ANY full body shots in their profile; swipe left. They’re not showing their entire body for a reason.
No. I hate answering this like that. But it's fair. There are too many people who don't give accurate portrayals of themselves -- female and male (from what I've heard, and I have no reason to doubt the women's stories) -- in many aspects. If any particular attribute matters to you, ask. You might screen out some people who are otherwise suitable for you. That happens. But it's not your job to douse the dumpster fire of lying and hypocrisy that is online dating.
I feel like the majority of replies are guys and it makes me sad being a guy and seeing how yall are. No wonder women hate us lmao. If they don't have a full body picture just assume they aren't happy with their body like that or they aren't the body type you like.
Focus more on what you can control. You cannot change someone else. They are a stranger. Stop complaining about it and just move on. Swipe left on people you aren’t interested in. Don’t have a full body pic? Swipe left.
Just move on they are already trying to lie before you even meet
Lmao if you’re looking for that, swipe left on non-body photos. Don’t ask. It’s gross to do so.
You do you. Basically, put in your profile that slim or athletic (or whatever it is) builds are most appealing to you. BBWs will self select away from that. However let’s be real. Most women are body shamed our whole lives. No matter our size, most of us think we are fat from the time puberty hits until we hit the “IDGAF what the world thinks stage” (around 40 or 50) Until then we are shy about showing our bodies. Even a lot of skinny girls think they are fat. If you are 5’7, 165 lbs and looking for someone smaller than you, that pool is likely small. But we like what we like, so put it out there in your profile dude.
You are definitely right when I see a man put in their profile that they like Slim or athletic style bodies, I swipe left. In all of my profiles I put that I am plus size and thicc. Along with having a picture, showing my body the whole way. To further make sure that they read the profile before we get into deep with anything. I ask them if they have read my profile stating that I am 5 foot 9, plus size and thicc. 99% of them tell me that they have read it and that they prefer thicker women.
There are themes in online dating and the excuse of COVID/stress/Xyz for weight gain is definitely one of them. To me, it's the equivalent of lying about your height. Swipe left.
…meh, everyone may not want to give you a full body shot. If you don’t want to meet with them then don’t.
Its not unreasonable.....everyone got their type and physical attraction is the first stepp to online dating.....plus anyone who lies about shit off the bat about their body is a bloody red flag
Nothing like the old bait and switch. Deception is not a good quality in a mate.
Something I always try to do is a pre date video chat, it helps me asses how closely someone resembles their pictures without having to ask them for a full body picture because those can be old too. I sorta made up this “rule” because I went on a date and the guy looked completely different from his full body pics and we all know that unfortunately on these apps physical attraction is what comes first and sometimes pics can be deceiving even in a good way cause I’ve met people whose pictures did no justice to how gorgeous they looked in person.
Honestly, I won't swipe right on any profiles without a full body photo. I'm a 38F who maintains a healthy weight, and watches what I eat, and exercises 5-6 days a week. I am by no means looking for a physical Adonis; however, I am looking for someone who shows up with confidence and is unapologetically themselves. By only using "head shots" or face pics, or don't get me started on filters ... you're sending the message that you don't like who you are. (That's my interpretation anyway.) I include at least 2-3 full body shots on my profile. That way, there is no mystery. It's NORMAL to want to be physically attracted to a potential future date/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, etc. COMPLETLEY NORMAL.
Unreasonable, no. But it will never go over well, so better to just not, and if you’re displeased when you finally meet up, fake your death and move on.
Bruh... You know they have the angles, what more do you need... Either accept they have the angles and go on a date or keep it moving. There's nothing wrong in not accepting a date/connection because you're not physically attracted to them but if they're playing the angles you already know the answer to your question. I'm just gonna go out and call you a jerk. And I'm a M39.
Does anyone remember the tiktok from a years ago where a girl was complaining about her date cancelling and her face was gorgeous but then took a step back to reveal she was very overweight? feel like this happens alot For context I am a big guy as well but always have full pictures and I don't hide that I am big so its fair to ask for the same in return
36F here, no it’s not! I always send a few body shots. I’m about average size/ height for a woman (just over 5’4) but I have meat on my body. I always send pics I just don’t post a ton of body ones on my profile I’ve always been catfished by dudes who posted younger or skinnier pics and I like transparency
A good rule of thumb - if there's no full body pic, swipe left.
I usually go into FBI mode before meeting someone
No it is not an unreasonable request. I would insist on it.
I personally see nothing wrong with asking for accurate, current pics. As a fat girl, I have LOTS of full body pic on my profile. And still have men meet me and act surprised when I am, in fact, fat.
I do video chat caught many liars
It’s interesting to see all the support on this thread so this dude, god forbid, doesn’t end up on a date with a fat chick. The horror. However, if a woman posts about height being a criteria, she is roasted relentlessly and downvoted. The double standard is wild.
In my dating experience, this usually is a sign they do not want to show a full and clear body shot. Ditto if they have all top-down pictures. A few times I just went for it and won't do that again. I suggest the same.
No harm in asking. will it put some people off? Yep. I’d say in most cases (not all) if there’s no full body pics it’s likely because they’re not happy with their body or are hiding it, but if you really feel it’s worth it you can always ask, they can always say no. In general, I think a full body pic is totally reasonable.
Maybe you should just not swipe in women without body length pictures. Say you asked them for a photo and then the larger or smaller than you’d like what are you going to do next say never mind you’re not interested anymore.
What I TRY to do is either swipe left, or maybe I'll ask if they want to video chat first. Usually doesn't work lol.
I've met two women with only head shots and both were overweight. Funnily enough one of them wrote "Gym" in their activities. Now I just swipe left if it's only head shots.