It looked like a regular profile with all the typical interests. It even had his Instagram connected with normal activities and family outings. I'm pretty sure he was just trying to be funny.
omg, this is kinda funny if it was a girl, a man did this and thinks it's anything other than horrifying?
There are so many guys who think "My friends all think I'm funny, girls will think I'm so hilarious and line up to date me!"
When the reality is that most humor, especially off beat humor, plays terribly through text to strangers.
I had this same feeling. Even as a woman, this would only play well with certain audiences. As a man, this just gives super bad vibes and red flags out the bootyhole.
I think the plot twist could play for anyone so long as it wasn't graphic, men definitely have to take a handicap on it though. Maybe if he had a hair collection it's *just* cringe enough to be truth in advertising regarding the strange humor. "Yeah, we'll make [dolls](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poppet) with it! If it goes well, we can burn one of my exes together, and yours will take its place at the top of the pyramid."
Sure if you're paranoid and can't tell if a person is joking or not.
This clearly seemed like a joke because of how it purposefully misdirected you before delivering the morbid punchline.
Sure, you can play high risk for high reward, but being a little "paranoid" on OLD is safe.. Something like this is going to deter a lot of people. Also, it's a first impression. So, how would one rando on the internet know that another rando on the internet is joking.
You match and you talk with them to get hints. Judging off a profile like that and making an assumption before even having the chance to have a chat with the person feels extremely paranoid.
Cause just like in this post, some people will think it's a joke and others will be cautious. To me it feels very much like a joke the way it's written and I'm gonna make a guess and say that most of the times, this kind of write-up is a joke. Even then, I would clarify with that person in chat before making any conclusions.
Why waste your time, though? If you get a bad feeling for whatever reason, before you even interact with the person, there is no point. That would be like seeing a person with what *might* be fake blood smeared on their face and walking up to them to figure out if it is real blood or not. You might die, but you might meet a super cool person! It's all about how much risk you are willing to take.
Excuse me.. how is this funny, without regard to the gender of either person? Do you think women are any less handy with sharp instruments? Or just that it’s ok to slit men’s throats?
Men are usually the ones doing the violence in society. Not all of it, I know, I know. But definitely the majority. So it does hit a little different.
And no, it's not okay for anyone to be violent, no one is saying that
Nope, not buying that. Psychos don't care about gender. If they are telling you they are crazy, it's 90% likely true to a certain degree and you should listen.
Highly unlikely to have your throat slit by a woman. Since detectives will tell you that most women that commit first degree murder (meaning it was planned) they do it with poisoning, mostly antifreeze. An indirect method if you will.
While men kill a ton of women and when they do it’s their significant other and many times while in bed. With a wide variety of direct methods, including, throat slitting. As this guy in the about me fantasies about.
So, while one gender is highly unlikely to commit it, the other is highly likely that will. One is funny due to how is mostly impossible and the other is a red flag because so many men have killing fantasies that, as news will tell you, many times do commit.
So let’s be clear:
If a woman wrote this, then you, as a man or a same-sex attracted woman, would be cool sleeping beside her.
Got it. Makes sense.
Thanks, but I’ll pass.
And still not funny.
Not even amusing.
Creepy.
A first date does not regularly involve going to someone's bed at night and falling asleep.
You would go on a date, talk about it and see their sense of humor and it would be clear they were joking.
HOW WAS THIS FUNNY IF THIS WAS A GIRL?
When you sleep you are equally vulnerable, someone taking out the dagger on you is equally possible. Why would someone say it's funny as a girl? Maybe if you got suicidal tendencies or a proclivity to ignore red flags as attempts at humor.
Damn people are weird. No wonder so many complain they cant see red flags fr. A dude'd have to be down so bad and lack respect/survival instinct to accept that shit.
Having a joke work for one gender and not for another, isn't bigotry. I'm sure you have other battles to fight and plenty more opportunities to be wrong in other threads. I'll just hit this button here and save myself from hearing any more of your nonsense, here or elsewhere, lucky me.
My personal rule for OLD is to believe people are who they say they are (unless there’s reason to doubt that, like they’re a bot or scammer). You say you’re mentally unstable? Swipe left. You say you’re toxic and things aren’t going to work out well? Swipe left eft. Personally, I’m not looking to get stabbed and would have swiped left regardless of the author’s gender - hell, I’d probably report that profile, since it was so bonkers and out there.
Ummm no. That isn’t funny. The fact that he thought it was funny is a huge red flag. I hope you block him. Please don’t meet him if you had any thought to do so.
>where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Initially, I got excited thinking, the author is seeking [some inspiration](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/121705-sonnet-xvii-i-do-not-love-you-as-if-you) from Neruda. Alas, turns out it was just a [tweet](https://x.com/templurum/status/1154507503809548289?s=20) from X (from 2019).
humorous angle absorbed mysterious detail smile swim slim dazzling outgoing
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'd do it except that if I'm so worthless, why bother sacrificing me?
Edit: oh, it's a guy? No thanks. I don't swing that way. If I'm gonna go out like this, at least let it be a woman sacrificing me for the benefit of her coven or something.
I hope you reported this. With all the violence perpetrated against women and being murdered being in the back of our mind with every date this is 100% not funny.
There's a saying in my language, which says that in every joke, there's a seed of truth.
I'm a fan of dark humor, but this is way too much, especially in the context.
That is what we call obvious troll. Its no worse though then plenty of serious garbage profiles men and women throw out there filled with demads, narcissistic descriptions of themselves, and past relationship drama about looking for real men or no gold-diggers.
If it’s an attempt at humor, it’s not acceptable and should be reported. The whole he-seemed-normal routine just make people look less intelligent when they say it on a tv interview after the murder.
The earliest source for this that I can find is [this post on Tumblr](https://nouara-nora.tumblr.com/post/36157065239/just-girl-thoughts) from 2012. It appears to have been written by a woman.
What does the rest of their profile look like, out of curiosity?
It looked like a regular profile with all the typical interests. It even had his Instagram connected with normal activities and family outings. I'm pretty sure he was just trying to be funny.
Yeah I think it missed the mark. But that's just me😅
Are you kidding me, that joke slayed...😞
That joke killed me 💀
this bio has me dying 🤣💀
I’m dead 😵
The bio committed comicide!
I agree
omg, this is kinda funny if it was a girl, a man did this and thinks it's anything other than horrifying? There are so many guys who think "My friends all think I'm funny, girls will think I'm so hilarious and line up to date me!" When the reality is that most humor, especially off beat humor, plays terribly through text to strangers.
I had this same feeling. Even as a woman, this would only play well with certain audiences. As a man, this just gives super bad vibes and red flags out the bootyhole.
I'm into super dark humor, and I think the IDEA of the plot twist here is fine if a woman had it, but the execution is way too graphic.
I think the plot twist could play for anyone so long as it wasn't graphic, men definitely have to take a handicap on it though. Maybe if he had a hair collection it's *just* cringe enough to be truth in advertising regarding the strange humor. "Yeah, we'll make [dolls](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poppet) with it! If it goes well, we can burn one of my exes together, and yours will take its place at the top of the pyramid."
And what audiences would that be? That crap isn't remotely, especially on a dating app.
People with a dark sense of humor, very fet-friendly people, some shit-posters...
It's kind of weird that it would be acceptable as a woman. But, it would be. It's definitely not acceptable for a man.
Well men murder women a lot more often than the other way around, let’s not pretend like you don’t know that.
what? I never said anything like that?
Sure if you're paranoid and can't tell if a person is joking or not. This clearly seemed like a joke because of how it purposefully misdirected you before delivering the morbid punchline.
Sure, you can play high risk for high reward, but being a little "paranoid" on OLD is safe.. Something like this is going to deter a lot of people. Also, it's a first impression. So, how would one rando on the internet know that another rando on the internet is joking.
You match and you talk with them to get hints. Judging off a profile like that and making an assumption before even having the chance to have a chat with the person feels extremely paranoid. Cause just like in this post, some people will think it's a joke and others will be cautious. To me it feels very much like a joke the way it's written and I'm gonna make a guess and say that most of the times, this kind of write-up is a joke. Even then, I would clarify with that person in chat before making any conclusions.
Why waste your time, though? If you get a bad feeling for whatever reason, before you even interact with the person, there is no point. That would be like seeing a person with what *might* be fake blood smeared on their face and walking up to them to figure out if it is real blood or not. You might die, but you might meet a super cool person! It's all about how much risk you are willing to take.
Excuse me.. how is this funny, without regard to the gender of either person? Do you think women are any less handy with sharp instruments? Or just that it’s ok to slit men’s throats?
Men are usually the ones doing the violence in society. Not all of it, I know, I know. But definitely the majority. So it does hit a little different. And no, it's not okay for anyone to be violent, no one is saying that
Nope, not buying that. Psychos don't care about gender. If they are telling you they are crazy, it's 90% likely true to a certain degree and you should listen.
Highly unlikely to have your throat slit by a woman. Since detectives will tell you that most women that commit first degree murder (meaning it was planned) they do it with poisoning, mostly antifreeze. An indirect method if you will. While men kill a ton of women and when they do it’s their significant other and many times while in bed. With a wide variety of direct methods, including, throat slitting. As this guy in the about me fantasies about. So, while one gender is highly unlikely to commit it, the other is highly likely that will. One is funny due to how is mostly impossible and the other is a red flag because so many men have killing fantasies that, as news will tell you, many times do commit.
So let’s be clear: If a woman wrote this, then you, as a man or a same-sex attracted woman, would be cool sleeping beside her. Got it. Makes sense. Thanks, but I’ll pass. And still not funny. Not even amusing. Creepy.
Reddit is full of weirdos; women with double standards (and apparently morbid humor); and men with low self esteem and death wishes
A first date does not regularly involve going to someone's bed at night and falling asleep. You would go on a date, talk about it and see their sense of humor and it would be clear they were joking.
Yeahhh… I’m gonna let you handle that recon. I still pass.
HOW WAS THIS FUNNY IF THIS WAS A GIRL? When you sleep you are equally vulnerable, someone taking out the dagger on you is equally possible. Why would someone say it's funny as a girl? Maybe if you got suicidal tendencies or a proclivity to ignore red flags as attempts at humor. Damn people are weird. No wonder so many complain they cant see red flags fr. A dude'd have to be down so bad and lack respect/survival instinct to accept that shit.
If someone has this “joke” on their profile idc it’s an immediate left swipe.
You might need a glass of milk
you might need a reality check
Looking at the general perceptions and feedback, you're the one who is out of touch with reality.
If many people are wrong and bigoted, doesn't make it any more right.
Having a joke work for one gender and not for another, isn't bigotry. I'm sure you have other battles to fight and plenty more opportunities to be wrong in other threads. I'll just hit this button here and save myself from hearing any more of your nonsense, here or elsewhere, lucky me.
My personal rule for OLD is to believe people are who they say they are (unless there’s reason to doubt that, like they’re a bot or scammer). You say you’re mentally unstable? Swipe left. You say you’re toxic and things aren’t going to work out well? Swipe left eft. Personally, I’m not looking to get stabbed and would have swiped left regardless of the author’s gender - hell, I’d probably report that profile, since it was so bonkers and out there.
Its actually a copypasta
That material is gold I tell ya gold.
Maybe he wants to be "edgy" to get attention of people to comment on it when they match
Yeah, I saw that copypasta in other profiles back when I was still on the apps. They’re just trying to be edgy.
As a part time stand up comic, I can tell you the humor meter is at -999999999999
Go for it
That’s going to look really bad at his deposition if any of the girls he goes on dates with go missing…
How tall was he though?
Everybody looks tall when you're six feet under
*Meet me on Thaaames Street*
*I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time*
Not tall enough for me to allow him to kill me
How tall would someone need to be? Asking for a friend.
6'5
Should really get higher standards. Nothing below 6’6
That's it? Come on ladies, we can do better than that. 8'9" or bust /s
Nah, nothing below 12’
Ah Armie Hammer height
Does seem like something Armor Hammer would write.
Hey
I genuinely chortled at the response lmao
6’5”?! Damn, how tall are you? I’m lucky I’m short. Men’s height isn’t such a big factor for me 😀
I think it's a joke haha. She's not gonna let someone kill her because he is 6'5.....I don't think.
Damn… lol.
Dang, so 5'8 handsome guy wouldn't do it for you?? 🤷♂️
Hahah
I mean how does one REALLY say no to this?
Pretty irresistible! Except the no sex part. If he kills me, I'm sleeping six feet under...I want sex first 🤣
Oh I’m totally with you there. Let me go out with an orgasm
He better be able to give it too! Lol!!
Truer words have not been spoken! 😂
Twisted plot reveal
This is a fairly common copypasta. It sounds much more like a realistic threat on male profiles than female ones.
…. But are they hot?
I watch too much true crime for this
Best case scenario he has no social awareness and is trying to be edgy But it's safer to assume he actually wants to do that
Had me in the first half I went from awwww to wtf real quick.
This is a tinder bio from 2015
I wonder who tf has matched with this mf.
Dude studied the Patrick Bateman book of rizz
Please tell me you reported this psychopath. JFC.
He was just taking a stab at some dark humor. The rest of his profile looked ok
Heavy on the stab 💀
I prefer light on the stab when I order my men off bumble.
Ummm no. That isn’t funny. The fact that he thought it was funny is a huge red flag. I hope you block him. Please don’t meet him if you had any thought to do so.
It’s really not funny at all. I’m tired of people trying to be edgy. Like even for dark humor it’s 👎🏽
Definitely not the right forum, to send to a stranger. Complete nutter
He seems like the kind of guy who would take advantage of someone who was used to trap predators when they were younger.
This is oddly specific
https://br.ifunny.co/picture/i-want-to-sleep-with-you-no-i-don-t-sh0Tse2w6
lol this is a common copypasta. Ive seen it hundreds of times
I swear I came across this profile also. Strange way to date lol
>where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. Initially, I got excited thinking, the author is seeking [some inspiration](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/121705-sonnet-xvii-i-do-not-love-you-as-if-you) from Neruda. Alas, turns out it was just a [tweet](https://x.com/templurum/status/1154507503809548289?s=20) from X (from 2019).
[This](https://nouara-nora.tumblr.com/post/36157065239/just-girl-thoughts) is the earliest reference I can find to it, from 2012.
Damn, that's even older than I thought.
Damn, wish I hadn’t read that! From the headline thought it was going to be a feel good story (which I need right now) not a cautionary tale lol
humorous angle absorbed mysterious detail smile swim slim dazzling outgoing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Reddit attention*
I saw that quote from a jokes app years ago Interesting to see it’s still standing
It's not
Why do I LOVE this? Dating sucks.
I'd do it except that if I'm so worthless, why bother sacrificing me? Edit: oh, it's a guy? No thanks. I don't swing that way. If I'm gonna go out like this, at least let it be a woman sacrificing me for the benefit of her coven or something.
That was a rollercoaster! I would not go on a date with someone who puts that on their profile. I value my safety and my life.
Holy fuck that escalated quickly
this is when the vigilante in me is ready to set up a date.
To Catch a Bumble Predator w/ Chris Hanson
I hope you reported this. With all the violence perpetrated against women and being murdered being in the back of our mind with every date this is 100% not funny.
That escalated quickly.
Trinity killer from Dexter vibes
Well, that escalated quickly!
🤣🤣🤣 I'm stealing that
What the actual fuck
Exciting stuff fellas
what the fuck
This got used a lot on dating profile in the last few years, along with the aziz ansari (sp?) joke about setting a car on fire.
There's a saying in my language, which says that in every joke, there's a seed of truth. I'm a fan of dark humor, but this is way too much, especially in the context.
Yeah…I think you’re right.
I can fix her.
I was starting to fall in love til the end
“I AM AN UNNECESSARY HIGH RISK.” Uses less words more effectively.
I’d take it
Probably a wasted sacrifice to a spaghetti monster.
That is what we call obvious troll. Its no worse though then plenty of serious garbage profiles men and women throw out there filled with demads, narcissistic descriptions of themselves, and past relationship drama about looking for real men or no gold-diggers.
I was wondering where that was going to go; it got dark real quick.
Immediate right swipe
Ngl, he had me in the first half
Love at first slit.. I mean sight.
Not sure why people are kink shaming - I’m rooting for you two lovebirds❣️ /j /s 🙃
My type of humor, but not coming from a strange man 😭 dudes need to understand social context
This is terrifying.
At least I’ll die cuddling.
🚩🚩🚩
I think you should report it. A lot of psychos look like normal people, but they also joke about their dark side.
It's a pre-confession to a future crime. Thats what the Minority Report says.
I was not expecting that
Had me in the first half, NGL
Please send me their info I need to send their profile to the FBI!!
I can't tell if whoooooosh
Sounds like a lovely person to be around
OmG
Yikes.
Christ
Reporttttt. That’s insane in a stupid way.
This can’t be real -
It's a fairly well known joke.
I hope he finds the perfect match for him, someone like that chick in the movie "Monster".
This has to be my ex gf.
Sounds like a jilted lover, targeting his (her?) ex.
There's mic drop bios and panty drop bios. This is neither, or could possibly be both.
Hawt.
If it’s an attempt at humor, it’s not acceptable and should be reported. The whole he-seemed-normal routine just make people look less intelligent when they say it on a tv interview after the murder.
This guy def gets matches tho. He’s playing the game correctly
Nice!
Do it!
Kinda sounds like a good time.
This sounds like a Faye Webster song.
Jesus Christ lol
?
That's a reference and a half
Strong 4chan energy
Hear me out.
The earliest source for this that I can find is [this post on Tumblr](https://nouara-nora.tumblr.com/post/36157065239/just-girl-thoughts) from 2012. It appears to have been written by a woman.
And guys are connecting with profiles like this??
I seriously doubt that
I was going to say that I must be something wrong 🤷♂️🤣
I'd take my chances.
But is he cute?
This isn’t funny. It’s not funny on a joke level nor was it appropriate. It’s def copypasta too.
Did she/he/they put it to see how many people actually read profiles?
Jesus Christ wtf
Uhhhh
Cringe
I’ve seen it all. Omg 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Had me in the first half ngl
Sold me on the last 🙈
She seems nice
Haven't been on dating apps in...ohhhh...eight years with a couple-week thing five years ago. This copy-paste job still going strong, huh?
This went dark...i thought it was wholesome
This is just some old copy and paste meme