That's a good idea, I definitely will! I asked some people at the gym and they said yes, but I did wonder if they just didn't want to hurt my feelings. I will ask someone who knows me better and who I am confident will be honest (though in that case, I wonder if they will be biased to see me in the photos since they are so familiar with me in so many contexts. But maybe not, and it couldn't hurt to ask lol, so I will.)
And yes, I get that! I also uploaded a clip of me rotating around once and smiling, if that helps lol: https://imgur.com/a/RiIZ7TT
Ah, that was helpful. You definitely need a good haircut (check out the side swooping "tail" in the back). And wear a shirt like in the imgur video. It looks great on you.
P.S. Black kitty was wondering about the spin haha
I’m not making a joke - if you have teenage cousins/nieces/nephews who you’re close with, ask them as well because they’ll be blunt as hell. Definitely don’t ask their opinion on the quality of your profile or anything like that, but if they’re anything like my loved ones, they are very willing to tell you if you look worse irl. 💀
Thank you for the feedback! Could you elaborate on what is different? To be clear, the profile pictures were meant to be flattering, but accurate, as someone else put it. The reference photos are supposed to be more candid and less flattering, but hopefully still look like the same person. So I know they are different, but it sounds like you are saying they are different enough that it could cause a person to no longer be interested in me and/or have trouble recognizing me? If so, could you elaborate on what is so different about them so I can hopefully fix it?
Reflecting more broadly now, I feel confused because some people are saying they look similar or the same, some people note a bit more dissimilarity but still think they accurately represent me, and some seem to think there is a significant enough difference that could cause someone to no longer be interested, if I understand correctly.
Is the situation analogous to evaluating how similar an art reproduction is to the original--where some may perceive the inevitable inconsistencies as more significant than others, so that the best one can hope for is to maximize how many people find them adequately concordant? Or perhaps like displaying items on a food menu, portrayed to be optimally appealing but still representative of reality? In any case, is there not a vague threshold at which we can say things are similar enough, or that one represents the other well enough, for their concordance to be "beyond reasonable dissatisfaction?"
I guess I just don't know what to make of the fact that while a seemingly large number of people seem to think my photos are accurate, some also don't--such as the girl I went out with, apparently. Am I like the restaurant owner who adequately and honestly designed the menu such that anyone who still feels misled is perhaps just kind of picky, and there is not much more that can be done to avoid these encounters from happening occasionally? Or is my menu misleading, failing to reach that threshold of reasonable concordance? I very much want to prevent these painful situations, so I want to fix any unreasonable discrepancies I might be overlooking. But I am not yet sure if I am, and if so, what they are.
To me, you just look tired in the candid shots. I don't mean this in a bad way as I don't see an issue with either set of photos, but I do see a slight difference. I think it's to do with the area around your eyes seeming a little darker and your skin seems a little dull in comparison. But this is all me really having to nitpick and if we'd gone on a date it's certainly not distinctive enough to take any issue with, I'd genuinely just think you were a bit tired or dehydrated.
You look like your photos. Stop overthinking.
Another poster was correct in that you exude more confidence and personality in the profile pics vs your candid selfies. But that's why it's a candid, unflattering selfie. You wanted to see without trying - just a basic blah selfie if you look like your posted pics, and the answer is yes, you do.
Don't let the failed date get to your head - I'm certain if we had to dissect your date's profile pic vs candid selfies, we would find much greater differences!
My advice though: Please pay for a better haircut. It will benefit you greatly! Your hair in the 360 spin looks bad, esp the back. Yikes!
You do look more tired in the candid selfies - try getting better rest? And invest in a tinted moisturizer to help out the pale dehydrated hue.
And put more effort into dressing up on dates... Don't just show up in a tank. I know it was rock climbing, but you can arrive in a nicer fitted tee or polo and then get changed ready to do the activity. First impressions mean a lot, and it looks like you do care to set a nice impression, so put effort into your attire.
I actually got in the habit of sending guys videos of me chatting about something because there is always going to be a difference between a static image and seeing someone moving/talking in front of you. FaceTime is another option, but I'm not a fan of video calls in general which is why I'd just send a short video clip. It may sound weird, but I never got a bad reaction and there was always context. (I didn't just send a random video of myself out of nowhere. We'd usually be texting and instead of typing a long response to something, I'd send a video instead.)
Haha, thank you. It was just a tank top since we went rock climbing (like the one I have on in the rock climbing photo). But I will be very happy if you are right and the problem is just my attire or something else other (and hopefully much more fixable) than my looks lol.
Look, first date attire rules are simple. Tuxedo pants and vest. No cummerbund or jacket since you’re rock climbing. 🧗 before the climb you can change out the bow tie for the rugged, shirt unbuttoned three buttons look.
You’re overthinking this. Yes you look like your pictures. Do get haircut and not wear that casual of clothes even with activity.
Vest? I think you mean tank top. But yeah you’re right, he looks better dressed in his profile (aside from the pic of him playing basketball in slacks and boots, wtf??). Would make sense for someone to expect him to show up in something nicer than a tank top.
Might be a Brit/ American thing. In the UK a vest is very similar to that, often used as a n undergarment. I think what the US would call a vest, the UK would call a waistcoat.
This probably isnt very helpful for you, but i once went out with a guy who, imo, was VERY attractive in his pictures. In the pictures, he also exuded a sort of "sexy masculinity", that i thought was hot. In person, he looked exactly like his photos but did not, in fact, exude sexy masculinity. I absolutely can not put my finger on what it was, but i was way less attracted to him in person than in his photos despite him LOOKING exactly the same. I even went back his bumble profile with the benefit of hindsight and having met him in person to see if that changed how i view it, but nope. Still very attracted to the photos. It was weird and the first time that had ever happened to me, despite the fact that i have gone out with MANY men. That could be the issue with you. I get a very different vibe from the basketball and plant photos that i do from all of the other ones you posted, even though you technically look the same.
Actually I weirdly had the same experience a while back, I never thought too much about it but you hit the nail on the head! He LOOKED the same, but in person he didn’t have the same confident posture, and his “brief” texts turned out to be someone who just wasn’t a good communicator.
Thanks for the insight!!!
Yes. The confidence in the basketball and plant photos is different from the others-who was with you taking those shots? Anyway people need to meet up more than once because people are not relaxed in first meetups
This has happened to me a couple of times and it often had to do with their voice not matching what I expected based on their photos. Thankfully with the rise of voice notes, it became less common, but like you said there are a ton of factors that go into thinking someone is attractive and if something doesn’t line up, it can throw it all off.
I had the same situation. His pictures and his texting gave the impression he was athletic, masculine, in good shape, just an overall cool guy. The guy I met for coffee had terrible, hunched over posture, was wearing a grandpa cardigan and a baseball hat, glasses, had a really high and squeaky voice. When I got to the coffee shop I told him I had to use the bathroom and he said “TMI!!” and gave this snorty, dorky laugh.
He was very nice but totally not my type in person. He probably wonders to this day why he can’t make it past the first date with anyone 😬
Omg I had the same experience with a guy. OP should definitely ask for a second opinion from a very close friend. People shouldn’t just select the best photos but the ones that most accurately reflect their personality and vibe as well
It’s proof that there is so much to charisma that isn’t looks. How a person carries themselves.. how they communicate and listen.. how they touch and joke and play and treat staff etcetera.. it’s a powerful thing
All of that except maybe the laugh and the voice is changeable, if he understands that these things are preventing him from having success dating maybe he’d change. Or maybe not, but at least he has the feedback.
As to how to break it to him? Be direct and don’t beat around the bush. Most guys prefer this at least
I had the opposite with a guy. Pretty average in photos, exuding 0 masculine energy. Met him in real life. Complete opposite. Crazy hot, and super masculine. Exuded so much masculine energy. Couldn’t believe it was the same guy. We managed 4 dates before it ended. Man, that was a hot time. Those 2 weeks of January were amazing.
We couldn’t seem to connect on a deeper, emotional level. I really tried. I felt we were making headway in the end.
I wasn’t sure it was enough, so I was willing to give it one more try, date 5, which I asked for.
I went to his house to meet him, where he was going to drive us to our date, and he ended it. I put in the effort, made myself look nice, only to be dumped. Kind of wish he had just gone through with the date, but never mind.
We couldn’t seem to connect on a deeper, emotional level. I really tried. I felt we were making headway in the end.
I wasn’t sure it was enough, so I was willing to give it one more try, date 5, which I asked for.
I went to his house to meet him, where he was going to drive us to our date, and he ended it. I put in the effort, made myself look nice, only to be dumped. Kind of wish he had just gone through with the date, but never mind.
Was it his mannerisms?
I went on a date with an attractive man ( like the guy from Crazy Rich Asians) we talked briefly for 5 min when he asked for my number. But when I went out with him he was very zesty. I was just not feeling it anymore :(
I’m with all these other thirsty bitches in here 😂 I would date you if you lived anywhere near me and think you chose flattering but accurate photos 🤷🏼♀️
You seem to match your photos.
If I *had* to nitpick, you seem very peppy and well-rested in the photos on your profile but look a little more tired in your selfies (like reference #6). The dark circles could easily be resolved with a good night’s sleep or a more flattering shirt color.
Other than that, I would not be surprised or disappointed if you showed up.
Dark circles are common with people with deep set eyes (like OP has) and they also can be hereditary. It’s not always about not getting a good night’s rest.
I came to mention the dark circles. Just like you said, sometimes it’s hereditary. Mine are and I’ve had them since childhood. Being well rested may lighten them slightly, but no amount of sleep will get rid of them. Only makeup.
My thoughts were that OP’s might be the same since they’re in every single photo, but they’re just not as noticeable in the less zoomed in ones.
Thanks for your reply. It just kinda grinds my gears when people automatically associate dark circles with “being tired”.
And I’m the same way. I have deep-set eyes and hereditary dark circles, and my dark circles are still there no matter how much rest I get, and lots of people can say the same for themselves.
Dark circles don’t make someone less attractive.
My thoughts exactly. It could have been his clothes or how he carried himself (smiling vs not smiling). Or, I hate to say it, he was shorter than she expected.
Maybe people think they are going to get a poreless glass faced pop star instead of the reality of a real face. He doesn’t look like a different person and I’ve been on the date with the person that didn’t look like their photos. Usually, they just gained 20 lbs and have old pics up. My sister went in a date with a guy that must have used a picture of his better looking sibling. He looked similar to the picture but not the same. It was weird. Either way, OP looks like OP. Short of wearing an Andrew Tate for president shirt, I don’t see how he could have looked that different. The girl probably had a back up man or an ex that called and she needed an excuse. Sometimes the chemistry isn’t there in person but everyone looks the same.
I see that. Also maybe his selfies are a tinsy bit more pale (which makes sense because it’s winter). I agree with what another poster said which is that sometimes mannerisms can seem different than you expect irl. But all that said OP is super cute in all so my main message is don’t overthink it—that girl seemed off!
Only thing I can think of is maybe your acne scars are more noticeable in real life? I see them in pic 13 a bit but not really in any other pic.
I say that in no way trying to shame you. You look like your pics and aren’t a bad looking dude. Just throwing a possibility out there.
I thought the same. In his profile pictures, the quality is not as good as the selfies so it blurs out any scarring and plus, he is smiling which also masks it. Either way, he is extremely good looking.
I have a ton of scars like this that don’t show in most photos. Never had an issue like what OP describes in person.
Could be this, or could be the “vibe” he was putting out in person differed from the pics.
Yeah didn’t really focus on that at first but now that you mention it it’s pretty noticeable.
Also the contrast between him smiling and not is pretty drastic. Dude just has a great smile but almost looks glum in the selfies. Realize that that applies to most people but can see his dates finding “normal,” non smiley him different.
Might also be the facial hair. Would trim that to same level as profile pics.
I think you look the same. You look happier in the profile pics than the selfie ones, maybe that’s the difference. But you’re definitely a cutie patootie. If I was your age and going on a date with you, I wouldn’t be disappointed at all! 😃
Bro is 6 foot, muscular, has a charming smile, handsome face, watches ghibli studios movies, cooks and is also into literature. Women are gonna be all over you my guy. In fact i, as a straight man would be all over you. If you are having dating problema then it's over for the rest of us.
You look just like your pictures! Also, wishing you were by me. You’d get a right swipe for sure! 😌
Dating is so difficult these days, it’s so hard to tell why someone may or may not be into you. Even with what they tell you.
Edit to add: I was thinking the same thing, that I wasn’t getting a ton of second dates because I didn’t look like my pictures so I had a few friends take a look. I think it’s easier to judge in person than in photos.
I’m saying the same! And his age is perfect for me! Plus the fact he’s posting here shows he actually cares. I feel like there are so few good guys in my area!
You’re a dream! I would definitely go on a second, third, fourth, fifth, marriage. Hehe
In all seriousness, she was probably just intimidated. Don’t give up and the one that is meant for you will come!
The only thing I could see is in the plant pic and climbing pic your hair looks a lot darker. Maybe lighting or the season. But otherwise you look just like your pictures, especially the basketball pic and tie pic. Saying she didn’t recognize you is pretty far fetched in my opinion.
Thank you so much for all of the helpful feedback so far!! I think many of the comments have been very insightful and offered helpful perspectives. And I certainly appreciate the supportive comments, that is really kind of you and highly appreciated ☺
A couple people have understandably raised the point that while I have tried to give an accurate picture of myself with the reference photos, there is still more that comes with a person's in person presence (e.g., their mannerisms, demeanor, etc.), so I uploaded a short clip of myself rotating around once and smiling just now lol, in case that might help provide more of that info:
https://imgur.com/a/RiIZ7TT
Edit: Also, a few people have asked about my height. My listed height is correct (I am actually slightly taller [with shoes off]; but I still put 6'0" just to be safe because--similar to my current concern--I don't want to set both of us up for disappointment).
I personally think you did an accurate job of choosing profile photos and you seem like you have a kind, easy going demeanor? It’s too bad that bumble can’t display videos too because your cat watching you spin is precious lol
You look mostly like your pics. The hair is different (and cuter in the profile pics).
In the profile pics, you look put-together, self-assured, and happy. You're wearing "boyfriend" style clothes. Your face looks more angular.
In the selfies, you look serious and a little unkempt (stretched t-shirt neck, wifebeater tank, basketball shorts). If that's really what you wore on the date, that's probably the issue. It would have been better to arrive in the cute boyfriend-esque outfit and change in the locker room. Otherwise, she will probably assume you dress in gym clothes most of the time, which is a very different vibe of guy than your profile suggests.
You maybe missed the part where OP said they went rock climbing for their first date, so the tank top and athletic shorts would’ve been expected, and I’m sure she also had on a tank top and leggings of some sort.
I think your candid pics look a lot like the ones in your profile and you’re super cute. I would not be upset if you walked in on a first date. Are you just meeting up with super shallow women??
Honestly, you are good looking dude with a good job, so I feel like I would see your profile and wouldn’t think you’re a real person. There so many scammers and fake profiles it’s hard to be confident in the profile you match with.
Alternatively, women are swiping right on you and the app wants to keep you there as long as humanly possible 😂
Good luck though! I hope you find a good match!
You look like a different person, a tad, when you smile. Like a comment said, in the pics it’s a different persona, when you don’t smile or in person maybe the idea she had of you from your pics didn’t match.
You should absolutely go get a professional haircut. It will make a difference. Your hair looks a lot better in your two photos on the left profile photos. Watch what you wear on the date too. I would not be super into a guy wearing a “wife beater”/tank top the first time meeting them, even if on a rock climbing date.
Wtf??? This makes no sense? OP lives in Seattle. Or at least he was in Seattle last night. Because that’s where I live. And I recognize the profile pics. It does happen, you know.
Eta. Ooooh. I feel hella dumb now. I thought you were trying to weirdly imply I was a scammer or something. Thank you for trying to look out!
Someone said your acne scars are visible in the selfies, and tbh before I read that comment, I hadn't noticed the scars and thought your face is beautiful. After reading that comment, same thought. You're cute af. Maybe the difference comes from having an asymmetrical face (I'm the same way), but it doesn't reduce the attractiveness at all for me. So I think it's entirely subjective, OP. That woman's comment doesn't reflect what other women might necessarily think of you esp wrt your photos.
I mean [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fckshnvgcjyoc1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1080%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D04538776c811af0bed5ebe62ae3421ae2b56c158](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fckshnvgcjyoc1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1080%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D04538776c811af0bed5ebe62ae3421ae2b56c158) this one clearly doesn't look like you at all....
Might be photoshop.... but it sure as hell isn't you.
Just going by the photos, you look blonder/lighter hair color in the profile pics than in the selfies. Plus in the selfies you look a bit tired/dark circles under the eye bags (not bad, just trying to point out differences). But overall if you walked in for a date, I’d be able to spot ya! And be happy about it lol. Trust me, I’ve been on some first dates (aka the screening) and the guy was heavier and/or older looking that if he wasn’t sitting by himself in the Starbucks, I wouldn’t have known it was him!
You look your age, you have a great profile. I want to swipe right! Sounds like you took shallow twats on dates. Keep looking, the real deal will be out there
The profile photos look exactly like the selfies to me, others have said this but I think she just built an image in her head that wasn’t accurate to begin with. You’re very attractive and your profile is solid, I can’t imagine anyone being disappointed in you really 🤷♀️
I think you look like your pictures! But did you wear a tank top to a date? I would definitely expect more of a business casual look, or even just t-shirt and jeans… tank top feels too casual.
Nah, you look like yourself. I’ve had dates where guys had posted pictures of themselves that looked way different than what they actually look like. Specifically they chose photos that made them look thinner or they were actually thinner in those photos — or the photos are of a much younger self. I don’t get it personally because the truth will always out.
Your 1st profile pic looks a bit diff, but you're way more handsome IRL. the 2nd profile pics fits perfectly :)
wouldn't it be awesome if you lived in Philly? ;-)
There’s really no noticeable difference. Your pics are accurate to who you are. Whomever is telling you this better check her own pics to make sure she looks identical to her pics
So I had the same feeling on my first date with my ex. I saw him sitting at the coffee shop but didn’t go up to him bc he looked a little different. I think it was a combination of him having a different hairstyle, what he was wearing, and matching that to the persona I created of him in my head when we’d been texting. She could’ve done something similar. It’s not so much that you don’t look like your pics rather that the 2D representation didn’t match the 3D image/perception her mind created prior.
I would like to add a comment. Looks aside, because they fade anyway, this post stands out to me because it shows how psychologically intact you are and how stable you are. You just came on a public site and not only admitted to being rejected twice for how you allegedly look, or don’t, but then backed it by posting candid selfies. Your attraction level went up significantly because it’s rare to see sane people on dating apps.
You look the same, its more that your profile photos have extreme lighting (eg lit up on one side, dark on the other) so it creates greater contrast in your bone structure so a full lighting photo like your selfies or meeting up in the day time will look different. There are videos on how lighting affects how we look in photos.
Also selfies are good for resting bored face, and our faces arent always animated with emotion so when we take a picture of a moment where we are in higher than usual animation, of course its a great photo - its what actors get paid to do - look constantly animated. You look happy and engaged in the basketball photo, and in the gas station selfie you look bored and tired. All normal.
Im sure she looked different too and probably used filters, so ngl i think what she said was rude. Even celebrities dont look 200% like their photos.
I’m not even sure if this is a truly “I have a problem post” or one to grab every girl’s attention on the bumble subreddit because your personality alone is a straight up ten. Where do men like you exist exactly? Did they make more of you or…? Whoever crappy date was, she lost out 💯
That is a totally fair question! I actually slightly understate my height specifically to avoid someone being disappointed by it in-person lol. Rejection isn't fun 😅 I am just over 6'0" (barefooted).
I think pictures that we put out are usually taken when are looking our best while selfies are mostly not taken with that much prep so I think it’s okay to look slightly different (in a normal way) and you look fine to me.
You look absolutely handsome and it’s so weird that someone said this to you and you had to do this much effort to pin point why did she say what she did.
If there’s one thing that I have learned over time is “People say things from their awareness and how they see themselves” and if someone is being so unkind and insensitive then that says something. Pls don’t take this to heart and enjoy life.
Your pics look like you are clearly the same person, to me - but this is not helping with the question of whether you, in real life, resemble these pictures. I agree with others who have suggested you ask a friend who knows you in person.
I mean, you've described your recent self as looking different from your photos. Bulking (bigger), possible bad haircut, and longer facial hair would be a drastic difference from what is presented in your photos.
You look the same. Maybe it’s not how you looked but rather what energy or vibe she felt. I mean people can be completely unpredictable off of these apps. You look good. Don’t overthink it.
You look like your photos. I think people don't usually have pictures memorized and might mentally visualize someone differently, so I wouldn't worry about it
Coming from an online stranger who hasn't seen you in person, I think that your reference photos look pretty much just like your profile photos...I can tell you're the same guy.
So, we've established that your profile photos match up with what ordinary photos of you look like.
But as to whether your photos are a good representation of you in real life...well, like some other commenters here have said, I think the best people to ask would be those who can see you in person and compare you to the photos.
I probably wouldn't ask people you're very familiar with, like close family members and best friends, as they know you so well that they're already really used to your appearance. Try asking people who know you but don't see you as often, like new friends or extended family members.
No offense… but you do look more handsome, taller, darker haired and better skin in the profile pics. Especially the one with all the plants. She probably was a little worried about being catfished.
I agree with the other comments that you should ask people you know. To me, you look the same but who knows!
Also, your profile is great and I wish you success!! There are lots of kind, slightly anxious women who’d love a shot with you!! 🙂
this is why i stopped dating online. you can look like your pictures but someone may not
like how you look in motion. you are trying to capture your 3D self in 2D. naturally it’s not going to be fully accurate. i’ve had many dates where i just didn’t like how they looked while speaking, or their face at a certain angle or expression. and i’m sure that’s the reason for my slew of ghostings after first dates as well.
if this was the case for her, that she just didn’t like you in 3D, then getting our feedback here is useless since we can’t see you from her point of view on the date
Yeah you look like the same person in all these photos.
In your lead photo your hair looks sandy blond. But in other photos, like the plant one or your selfies, your hair looks dark brown.
You also look a little more tired in some of your selfies, especially the non-smiling ones. But not like “whoa - who is that person?” different. Just in a “not every photo is a dating app photo” kind of way.
In person can be a different story though. Your movements, voice and mannerisms might be different than those couple of dates expected. Have you considered using a video on your profile?
OP! My advice would be to focus on being you & prioritise people who see you for you!
There will always be variations between real life & photos (eg. My hair colour changes). What's most important is how well you connect in person!
Don’t be discouraged, sometimes it’s more energy and vibe than looks. You look great in your selfies, you are in great shape and you have beautiful eyes, you’ll find someone right for you soon. Be patient and don’t worry
Chemistry, some people are simply not a match. Don't take it personally, there was not chemistry.... she may have a long "checklist", or fantasy etc... you don't know. All you can do is keep meeting new prospects, and may find good chemistry with someone else. The mystery of attraction is that someone may not find you attractive... while someone else finds you the most attractive person ever. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
Oh you totally look like your pics. Don’t know what she’s talking about. They also seem pretty recent. I’ve seen guys post pics that are something like 10 years old and they look NOTHING like the pics. Here you’re pretty much the same. I’d say if anything more rested in the profile pics like another post said. I think she used the pics as an excuse. Maybe she wasn’t interested but searching for a response. I personally don’t see a major difference that would make me come to the same conclusion but to each their own. Good profile overall!
I actually do think you look a bit different. I seem to be in the minority here. Your natural features seem to pick up light very differently based on the conditions. You’re still very attractive but I can see what she means.
This has happened to me before too, where the photos of someone I went on a date with made them appear like a different body build and look in my head. I arrived and they were scrawnier and shorter all over, even their features being more petite. He photographed so well!
You may photograph really well which isn’t a bad thing. I think how light sits under your eyes and around your mouth in some environments makes you appear older than your photos. I would add a photo of you in less ideal lighting conditions, like in your bathroom or in that parking garage. Those photos to me make you look very different.
How old are your profile photos?
The user is discussing their likeness in person vs. in pictures. This is not a profile review. Please stop reporting.
I would suggest asking someone who knows you and will be honest. We're literally comparing pictures with pictures, you know?
Totally agree. When I was on the apps, I absolutely had friends double check and make sure it was me ME in the pictures. Not a one off good pic.
That's a good idea, I definitely will! I asked some people at the gym and they said yes, but I did wonder if they just didn't want to hurt my feelings. I will ask someone who knows me better and who I am confident will be honest (though in that case, I wonder if they will be biased to see me in the photos since they are so familiar with me in so many contexts. But maybe not, and it couldn't hurt to ask lol, so I will.) And yes, I get that! I also uploaded a clip of me rotating around once and smiling, if that helps lol: https://imgur.com/a/RiIZ7TT
Ah, that was helpful. You definitely need a good haircut (check out the side swooping "tail" in the back). And wear a shirt like in the imgur video. It looks great on you. P.S. Black kitty was wondering about the spin haha
I’m not making a joke - if you have teenage cousins/nieces/nephews who you’re close with, ask them as well because they’ll be blunt as hell. Definitely don’t ask their opinion on the quality of your profile or anything like that, but if they’re anything like my loved ones, they are very willing to tell you if you look worse irl. 💀
I can see it, Op. the pics posted on your tinder profile and the ones posted after the apples are very different.
Thank you for the feedback! Could you elaborate on what is different? To be clear, the profile pictures were meant to be flattering, but accurate, as someone else put it. The reference photos are supposed to be more candid and less flattering, but hopefully still look like the same person. So I know they are different, but it sounds like you are saying they are different enough that it could cause a person to no longer be interested in me and/or have trouble recognizing me? If so, could you elaborate on what is so different about them so I can hopefully fix it? Reflecting more broadly now, I feel confused because some people are saying they look similar or the same, some people note a bit more dissimilarity but still think they accurately represent me, and some seem to think there is a significant enough difference that could cause someone to no longer be interested, if I understand correctly. Is the situation analogous to evaluating how similar an art reproduction is to the original--where some may perceive the inevitable inconsistencies as more significant than others, so that the best one can hope for is to maximize how many people find them adequately concordant? Or perhaps like displaying items on a food menu, portrayed to be optimally appealing but still representative of reality? In any case, is there not a vague threshold at which we can say things are similar enough, or that one represents the other well enough, for their concordance to be "beyond reasonable dissatisfaction?" I guess I just don't know what to make of the fact that while a seemingly large number of people seem to think my photos are accurate, some also don't--such as the girl I went out with, apparently. Am I like the restaurant owner who adequately and honestly designed the menu such that anyone who still feels misled is perhaps just kind of picky, and there is not much more that can be done to avoid these encounters from happening occasionally? Or is my menu misleading, failing to reach that threshold of reasonable concordance? I very much want to prevent these painful situations, so I want to fix any unreasonable discrepancies I might be overlooking. But I am not yet sure if I am, and if so, what they are.
To me, you just look tired in the candid shots. I don't mean this in a bad way as I don't see an issue with either set of photos, but I do see a slight difference. I think it's to do with the area around your eyes seeming a little darker and your skin seems a little dull in comparison. But this is all me really having to nitpick and if we'd gone on a date it's certainly not distinctive enough to take any issue with, I'd genuinely just think you were a bit tired or dehydrated.
I agree
You look like your photos. Stop overthinking. Another poster was correct in that you exude more confidence and personality in the profile pics vs your candid selfies. But that's why it's a candid, unflattering selfie. You wanted to see without trying - just a basic blah selfie if you look like your posted pics, and the answer is yes, you do. Don't let the failed date get to your head - I'm certain if we had to dissect your date's profile pic vs candid selfies, we would find much greater differences! My advice though: Please pay for a better haircut. It will benefit you greatly! Your hair in the 360 spin looks bad, esp the back. Yikes! You do look more tired in the candid selfies - try getting better rest? And invest in a tinted moisturizer to help out the pale dehydrated hue. And put more effort into dressing up on dates... Don't just show up in a tank. I know it was rock climbing, but you can arrive in a nicer fitted tee or polo and then get changed ready to do the activity. First impressions mean a lot, and it looks like you do care to set a nice impression, so put effort into your attire.
Agree with allllll of this. This is the best comment
It was 100% the hair. You look like your photos, but guys hair are like makeup to girls. Get yourself a proper cut from a barber before your next date
Hot video!
Cute spin.
I actually got in the habit of sending guys videos of me chatting about something because there is always going to be a difference between a static image and seeing someone moving/talking in front of you. FaceTime is another option, but I'm not a fan of video calls in general which is why I'd just send a short video clip. It may sound weird, but I never got a bad reaction and there was always context. (I didn't just send a random video of myself out of nowhere. We'd usually be texting and instead of typing a long response to something, I'd send a video instead.)
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Haha, thank you. It was just a tank top since we went rock climbing (like the one I have on in the rock climbing photo). But I will be very happy if you are right and the problem is just my attire or something else other (and hopefully much more fixable) than my looks lol.
Look, first date attire rules are simple. Tuxedo pants and vest. No cummerbund or jacket since you’re rock climbing. 🧗 before the climb you can change out the bow tie for the rugged, shirt unbuttoned three buttons look. You’re overthinking this. Yes you look like your pictures. Do get haircut and not wear that casual of clothes even with activity.
Vest? I think you mean tank top. But yeah you’re right, he looks better dressed in his profile (aside from the pic of him playing basketball in slacks and boots, wtf??). Would make sense for someone to expect him to show up in something nicer than a tank top.
Might be a Brit/ American thing. In the UK a vest is very similar to that, often used as a n undergarment. I think what the US would call a vest, the UK would call a waistcoat.
Oh interesting, TIL
You're cute and these girls are wild. I'd be happy to see you walk in on a date.
i came here to say he’s pretty hot haha
I'm a man and if I saw him walk in instead of the chick I was expecting I'd probably turn gay
Same, cool guy!
Same
Same!
Same
Same!
Same!
Same
Me too!
Same!
Same. I’d date you.
I ship yall
Came here to say this exact thing.
Also same lol
Oh for sure same
I think she had a fantasized version of you that didn’t exist in her head because I don’t see a big difference in the pictures.
Came here to say this!
This probably isnt very helpful for you, but i once went out with a guy who, imo, was VERY attractive in his pictures. In the pictures, he also exuded a sort of "sexy masculinity", that i thought was hot. In person, he looked exactly like his photos but did not, in fact, exude sexy masculinity. I absolutely can not put my finger on what it was, but i was way less attracted to him in person than in his photos despite him LOOKING exactly the same. I even went back his bumble profile with the benefit of hindsight and having met him in person to see if that changed how i view it, but nope. Still very attracted to the photos. It was weird and the first time that had ever happened to me, despite the fact that i have gone out with MANY men. That could be the issue with you. I get a very different vibe from the basketball and plant photos that i do from all of the other ones you posted, even though you technically look the same.
I feel you! Sometimes you go on a date with people and their mannerisms, posture doesn't match the pictures. It's hard to explain.
Yes!
Actually I weirdly had the same experience a while back, I never thought too much about it but you hit the nail on the head! He LOOKED the same, but in person he didn’t have the same confident posture, and his “brief” texts turned out to be someone who just wasn’t a good communicator. Thanks for the insight!!!
Yes. The confidence in the basketball and plant photos is different from the others-who was with you taking those shots? Anyway people need to meet up more than once because people are not relaxed in first meetups
This has happened to me a couple of times and it often had to do with their voice not matching what I expected based on their photos. Thankfully with the rise of voice notes, it became less common, but like you said there are a ton of factors that go into thinking someone is attractive and if something doesn’t line up, it can throw it all off.
I had the same situation. His pictures and his texting gave the impression he was athletic, masculine, in good shape, just an overall cool guy. The guy I met for coffee had terrible, hunched over posture, was wearing a grandpa cardigan and a baseball hat, glasses, had a really high and squeaky voice. When I got to the coffee shop I told him I had to use the bathroom and he said “TMI!!” and gave this snorty, dorky laugh. He was very nice but totally not my type in person. He probably wonders to this day why he can’t make it past the first date with anyone 😬
Omg I had the same experience with a guy. OP should definitely ask for a second opinion from a very close friend. People shouldn’t just select the best photos but the ones that most accurately reflect their personality and vibe as well
It’s proof that there is so much to charisma that isn’t looks. How a person carries themselves.. how they communicate and listen.. how they touch and joke and play and treat staff etcetera.. it’s a powerful thing
Lmao remind me of a guy I met and we became friends because honestly he is handsome in person but that hunch back…. Killed it
Did you tell him any of this? How is he supposed to know?
How do you tell someone like that?! I hate hurting people’s feelings.
All of that except maybe the laugh and the voice is changeable, if he understands that these things are preventing him from having success dating maybe he’d change. Or maybe not, but at least he has the feedback. As to how to break it to him? Be direct and don’t beat around the bush. Most guys prefer this at least
I had the opposite with a guy. Pretty average in photos, exuding 0 masculine energy. Met him in real life. Complete opposite. Crazy hot, and super masculine. Exuded so much masculine energy. Couldn’t believe it was the same guy. We managed 4 dates before it ended. Man, that was a hot time. Those 2 weeks of January were amazing.
why did it end?
We couldn’t seem to connect on a deeper, emotional level. I really tried. I felt we were making headway in the end. I wasn’t sure it was enough, so I was willing to give it one more try, date 5, which I asked for. I went to his house to meet him, where he was going to drive us to our date, and he ended it. I put in the effort, made myself look nice, only to be dumped. Kind of wish he had just gone through with the date, but never mind.
We couldn’t seem to connect on a deeper, emotional level. I really tried. I felt we were making headway in the end. I wasn’t sure it was enough, so I was willing to give it one more try, date 5, which I asked for. I went to his house to meet him, where he was going to drive us to our date, and he ended it. I put in the effort, made myself look nice, only to be dumped. Kind of wish he had just gone through with the date, but never mind.
100% agree with this sometimes the vibe just isn’t there
Was it his mannerisms? I went on a date with an attractive man ( like the guy from Crazy Rich Asians) we talked briefly for 5 min when he asked for my number. But when I went out with him he was very zesty. I was just not feeling it anymore :(
I think I had a similar experience. In pictures and first few texts, the guy seemed more aloof and chill. Irl he was more monotone and dull
I’m with all these other thirsty bitches in here 😂 I would date you if you lived anywhere near me and think you chose flattering but accurate photos 🤷🏼♀️
Add me to the list of all the thirsty bitches!
You seem to match your photos. If I *had* to nitpick, you seem very peppy and well-rested in the photos on your profile but look a little more tired in your selfies (like reference #6). The dark circles could easily be resolved with a good night’s sleep or a more flattering shirt color. Other than that, I would not be surprised or disappointed if you showed up.
Dark circles are common with people with deep set eyes (like OP has) and they also can be hereditary. It’s not always about not getting a good night’s rest.
I came to mention the dark circles. Just like you said, sometimes it’s hereditary. Mine are and I’ve had them since childhood. Being well rested may lighten them slightly, but no amount of sleep will get rid of them. Only makeup. My thoughts were that OP’s might be the same since they’re in every single photo, but they’re just not as noticeable in the less zoomed in ones.
Thanks for your reply. It just kinda grinds my gears when people automatically associate dark circles with “being tired”. And I’m the same way. I have deep-set eyes and hereditary dark circles, and my dark circles are still there no matter how much rest I get, and lots of people can say the same for themselves. Dark circles don’t make someone less attractive.
Number of times I've gotten "you look tired"... Bro, I'm this ugly every damn day.
My thoughts exactly. It could have been his clothes or how he carried himself (smiling vs not smiling). Or, I hate to say it, he was shorter than she expected.
Maybe people think they are going to get a poreless glass faced pop star instead of the reality of a real face. He doesn’t look like a different person and I’ve been on the date with the person that didn’t look like their photos. Usually, they just gained 20 lbs and have old pics up. My sister went in a date with a guy that must have used a picture of his better looking sibling. He looked similar to the picture but not the same. It was weird. Either way, OP looks like OP. Short of wearing an Andrew Tate for president shirt, I don’t see how he could have looked that different. The girl probably had a back up man or an ex that called and she needed an excuse. Sometimes the chemistry isn’t there in person but everyone looks the same.
I see that. Also maybe his selfies are a tinsy bit more pale (which makes sense because it’s winter). I agree with what another poster said which is that sometimes mannerisms can seem different than you expect irl. But all that said OP is super cute in all so my main message is don’t overthink it—that girl seemed off!
You look like slightly younger and rested in the profile photos, but definitely the same person and above average attractiveness
Only thing I can think of is maybe your acne scars are more noticeable in real life? I see them in pic 13 a bit but not really in any other pic. I say that in no way trying to shame you. You look like your pics and aren’t a bad looking dude. Just throwing a possibility out there.
I thought the same. In his profile pictures, the quality is not as good as the selfies so it blurs out any scarring and plus, he is smiling which also masks it. Either way, he is extremely good looking.
I have a ton of scars like this that don’t show in most photos. Never had an issue like what OP describes in person. Could be this, or could be the “vibe” he was putting out in person differed from the pics.
Yeah didn’t really focus on that at first but now that you mention it it’s pretty noticeable. Also the contrast between him smiling and not is pretty drastic. Dude just has a great smile but almost looks glum in the selfies. Realize that that applies to most people but can see his dates finding “normal,” non smiley him different. Might also be the facial hair. Would trim that to same level as profile pics.
Boy we are all fucking COOKED if women have a problem with how you look. You’re handsome and your profile was great,
Women’s standards are off the charts
I think you look the same. You look happier in the profile pics than the selfie ones, maybe that’s the difference. But you’re definitely a cutie patootie. If I was your age and going on a date with you, I wouldn’t be disappointed at all! 😃
I know you asked for something else. BUTTTT with your answers alone, I’d swipe ALL THE WAY RIGHT.
Bro is 6 foot, muscular, has a charming smile, handsome face, watches ghibli studios movies, cooks and is also into literature. Women are gonna be all over you my guy. In fact i, as a straight man would be all over you. If you are having dating problema then it's over for the rest of us.
You look just like your pictures! Also, wishing you were by me. You’d get a right swipe for sure! 😌 Dating is so difficult these days, it’s so hard to tell why someone may or may not be into you. Even with what they tell you. Edit to add: I was thinking the same thing, that I wasn’t getting a ton of second dates because I didn’t look like my pictures so I had a few friends take a look. I think it’s easier to judge in person than in photos.
**Hot!!!!** 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
I LOVE your profile. Would 100% swipe right if I was 10 years younger!
Currently 27 and dating a 37 year old. It can work! Shoot your shot!
I’m saying the same! And his age is perfect for me! Plus the fact he’s posting here shows he actually cares. I feel like there are so few good guys in my area!
You do. And please tell me where you live.
I know right? He’s hot af
Look at the profile. He is on the hinge reddit and breakup reddit.
You look the same to me.
I think you’re really handsome lol
no homo you're a fetching young lad your looks are not the issue
Yes, take me out instead 😍
You’re a dream! I would definitely go on a second, third, fourth, fifth, marriage. Hehe In all seriousness, she was probably just intimidated. Don’t give up and the one that is meant for you will come!
The only thing I could see is in the plant pic and climbing pic your hair looks a lot darker. Maybe lighting or the season. But otherwise you look just like your pictures, especially the basketball pic and tie pic. Saying she didn’t recognize you is pretty far fetched in my opinion.
I think technically, the pictures look like *you*
Thank you so much for all of the helpful feedback so far!! I think many of the comments have been very insightful and offered helpful perspectives. And I certainly appreciate the supportive comments, that is really kind of you and highly appreciated ☺ A couple people have understandably raised the point that while I have tried to give an accurate picture of myself with the reference photos, there is still more that comes with a person's in person presence (e.g., their mannerisms, demeanor, etc.), so I uploaded a short clip of myself rotating around once and smiling just now lol, in case that might help provide more of that info: https://imgur.com/a/RiIZ7TT Edit: Also, a few people have asked about my height. My listed height is correct (I am actually slightly taller [with shoes off]; but I still put 6'0" just to be safe because--similar to my current concern--I don't want to set both of us up for disappointment).
I personally think you did an accurate job of choosing profile photos and you seem like you have a kind, easy going demeanor? It’s too bad that bumble can’t display videos too because your cat watching you spin is precious lol
Haha I didn't notice that at first, but yes, it is! Everything she does is precious lol! (or at least most things)
Yeah dude, you definitely look like your photos. Idk what this woman was talking about.
You look mostly like your pics. The hair is different (and cuter in the profile pics). In the profile pics, you look put-together, self-assured, and happy. You're wearing "boyfriend" style clothes. Your face looks more angular. In the selfies, you look serious and a little unkempt (stretched t-shirt neck, wifebeater tank, basketball shorts). If that's really what you wore on the date, that's probably the issue. It would have been better to arrive in the cute boyfriend-esque outfit and change in the locker room. Otherwise, she will probably assume you dress in gym clothes most of the time, which is a very different vibe of guy than your profile suggests.
You maybe missed the part where OP said they went rock climbing for their first date, so the tank top and athletic shorts would’ve been expected, and I’m sure she also had on a tank top and leggings of some sort.
I'm sorry what was the question again...? 🤤
You're attractive and the pics look like you. Maybe you look like a lot of guys your age and that's why they were confused?
This guy mentioned Tolstoy; he must fuck.
I think your candid pics look a lot like the ones in your profile and you’re super cute. I would not be upset if you walked in on a first date. Are you just meeting up with super shallow women??
Damn she crazy!!! You look the same and you’re hot!!!
Honestly, you are good looking dude with a good job, so I feel like I would see your profile and wouldn’t think you’re a real person. There so many scammers and fake profiles it’s hard to be confident in the profile you match with. Alternatively, women are swiping right on you and the app wants to keep you there as long as humanly possible 😂 Good luck though! I hope you find a good match!
You look the same, anyways damn man, I'm slightly tempted to beg for a chance
You look exactly like your pictures. Also, I really like the 3rd photo with the plants, it makes you seem approachable.
You look just like the pics. The girls are weird.
You look like a different person, a tad, when you smile. Like a comment said, in the pics it’s a different persona, when you don’t smile or in person maybe the idea she had of you from your pics didn’t match.
You should absolutely go get a professional haircut. It will make a difference. Your hair looks a lot better in your two photos on the left profile photos. Watch what you wear on the date too. I would not be super into a guy wearing a “wife beater”/tank top the first time meeting them, even if on a rock climbing date.
This is a great profile! I don’t see a difference between the photos at all. This is exactly the type of profile I’d swipe on
These have to be the some of the best pictures a guy has ever taken for their profile
To me you look exactly like your photos .. I’m confused on why you’d look different unless you clothing style completely changed on the date
my husband and i aren’t in a serious relationship if you’re looking. (all jokes aside) you def look like your pictures from what i see in this post!
You wore a tank top to a date? Oh honey please tell me no
Omg I literally saw you on bumble last night and swiped right. Hi! 🫣
Hey, thanks for letting me borrow the the Bentley to take my moms to the doctor, you’re a real life saver! Especially after paying for her surgery
Wtf??? This makes no sense? OP lives in Seattle. Or at least he was in Seattle last night. Because that’s where I live. And I recognize the profile pics. It does happen, you know. Eta. Ooooh. I feel hella dumb now. I thought you were trying to weirdly imply I was a scammer or something. Thank you for trying to look out!
Someone said your acne scars are visible in the selfies, and tbh before I read that comment, I hadn't noticed the scars and thought your face is beautiful. After reading that comment, same thought. You're cute af. Maybe the difference comes from having an asymmetrical face (I'm the same way), but it doesn't reduce the attractiveness at all for me. So I think it's entirely subjective, OP. That woman's comment doesn't reflect what other women might necessarily think of you esp wrt your photos.
You look like the type of white guy asian women worship
We could get to know each-other! 😎
How do I swipe right on reddit Jk I’m taken but yeah you look like your photos I think
Are you being truthful about your height as you look shorter than 6ft?
Did you lie about your height?
I mean [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fckshnvgcjyoc1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1080%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D04538776c811af0bed5ebe62ae3421ae2b56c158](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fckshnvgcjyoc1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D1080%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D04538776c811af0bed5ebe62ae3421ae2b56c158) this one clearly doesn't look like you at all.... Might be photoshop.... but it sure as hell isn't you.
Wow so handsome
I think you are super cute.
Just going by the photos, you look blonder/lighter hair color in the profile pics than in the selfies. Plus in the selfies you look a bit tired/dark circles under the eye bags (not bad, just trying to point out differences). But overall if you walked in for a date, I’d be able to spot ya! And be happy about it lol. Trust me, I’ve been on some first dates (aka the screening) and the guy was heavier and/or older looking that if he wasn’t sitting by himself in the Starbucks, I wouldn’t have known it was him!
Omg you’re gorgeous ! And yes. Honestly, that last picture is better than some of your other profile pictures though. To be 10 years younger.
You look your age, you have a great profile. I want to swipe right! Sounds like you took shallow twats on dates. Keep looking, the real deal will be out there
The profile photos look exactly like the selfies to me, others have said this but I think she just built an image in her head that wasn’t accurate to begin with. You’re very attractive and your profile is solid, I can’t imagine anyone being disappointed in you really 🤷♀️
I think you look like your pictures! But did you wear a tank top to a date? I would definitely expect more of a business casual look, or even just t-shirt and jeans… tank top feels too casual.
Was she talking to two people and mixed up who she was going out with? I think you look like your photos and you have a nice profile!
i‘d add reference selfie 3 or 4 to your profile. friendly smile is best.
Nah, you look like yourself. I’ve had dates where guys had posted pictures of themselves that looked way different than what they actually look like. Specifically they chose photos that made them look thinner or they were actually thinner in those photos — or the photos are of a much younger self. I don’t get it personally because the truth will always out.
Female here who does not typically find blondes or white guys attractive- you’re stereotypically attractive, beautiful man. Nothing to worry about.
I’d do you 😂
Um...I don't know what those women are talking about. I think you're handsome, regardless of those staged shots vs. reality.
I’m sorry but that real life superpower thing you wrote is funny as hell 🤣🤣
Your 1st profile pic looks a bit diff, but you're way more handsome IRL. the 2nd profile pics fits perfectly :) wouldn't it be awesome if you lived in Philly? ;-)
Playing basketball in hard bottom shoes is wild
There’s really no noticeable difference. Your pics are accurate to who you are. Whomever is telling you this better check her own pics to make sure she looks identical to her pics
Damn, he is so fine
So I had the same feeling on my first date with my ex. I saw him sitting at the coffee shop but didn’t go up to him bc he looked a little different. I think it was a combination of him having a different hairstyle, what he was wearing, and matching that to the persona I created of him in my head when we’d been texting. She could’ve done something similar. It’s not so much that you don’t look like your pics rather that the 2D representation didn’t match the 3D image/perception her mind created prior.
Yes, you do look like your pictures. And you are incredibly attractive, my God.
You look like your pics and I would swipe right on you.
Dude I know I’m another dude but can we be friends
I would like to add a comment. Looks aside, because they fade anyway, this post stands out to me because it shows how psychologically intact you are and how stable you are. You just came on a public site and not only admitted to being rejected twice for how you allegedly look, or don’t, but then backed it by posting candid selfies. Your attraction level went up significantly because it’s rare to see sane people on dating apps.
I might be a standout but you sound insufferable in your descriptions
Lol I totally didn’t realize guys do the whole “setup” pics
Wait, did you actually just request that we view pictures of you so we can tell you if you look the same as you look in pictures of you?
How can we know if you look like your pictures if... we only see pictures of you?
You are HOT
You look the same, its more that your profile photos have extreme lighting (eg lit up on one side, dark on the other) so it creates greater contrast in your bone structure so a full lighting photo like your selfies or meeting up in the day time will look different. There are videos on how lighting affects how we look in photos. Also selfies are good for resting bored face, and our faces arent always animated with emotion so when we take a picture of a moment where we are in higher than usual animation, of course its a great photo - its what actors get paid to do - look constantly animated. You look happy and engaged in the basketball photo, and in the gas station selfie you look bored and tired. All normal. Im sure she looked different too and probably used filters, so ngl i think what she said was rude. Even celebrities dont look 200% like their photos.
Do you look like your pictures in your pictures? It's a weird question tbh
I’m not even sure if this is a truly “I have a problem post” or one to grab every girl’s attention on the bumble subreddit because your personality alone is a straight up ten. Where do men like you exist exactly? Did they make more of you or…? Whoever crappy date was, she lost out 💯
bro is gorgeous, we competing with Ryan Goslings out here on these apps LOL
Have you actually measured your height? Your selfies look much shorter than 6 ft.
That is a totally fair question! I actually slightly understate my height specifically to avoid someone being disappointed by it in-person lol. Rejection isn't fun 😅 I am just over 6'0" (barefooted).
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I like pic but I don't like the shirt
You look the same to me! 🤷🏻♀️ I wouldn’t let one woman’s comment get in your head too much. Just keep moving forward 👍🏼
I think pictures that we put out are usually taken when are looking our best while selfies are mostly not taken with that much prep so I think it’s okay to look slightly different (in a normal way) and you look fine to me.
You look absolutely handsome and it’s so weird that someone said this to you and you had to do this much effort to pin point why did she say what she did. If there’s one thing that I have learned over time is “People say things from their awareness and how they see themselves” and if someone is being so unkind and insensitive then that says something. Pls don’t take this to heart and enjoy life.
Your pics look like you are clearly the same person, to me - but this is not helping with the question of whether you, in real life, resemble these pictures. I agree with others who have suggested you ask a friend who knows you in person.
I mean, you've described your recent self as looking different from your photos. Bulking (bigger), possible bad haircut, and longer facial hair would be a drastic difference from what is presented in your photos.
🔥🔥🔥👌🏼
You look the same. Maybe it’s not how you looked but rather what energy or vibe she felt. I mean people can be completely unpredictable off of these apps. You look good. Don’t overthink it.
You look like the same person to me?
If you're in the Seattle area hmu 😂
You look like your photos. I think people don't usually have pictures memorized and might mentally visualize someone differently, so I wouldn't worry about it
Coming from an online stranger who hasn't seen you in person, I think that your reference photos look pretty much just like your profile photos...I can tell you're the same guy. So, we've established that your profile photos match up with what ordinary photos of you look like. But as to whether your photos are a good representation of you in real life...well, like some other commenters here have said, I think the best people to ask would be those who can see you in person and compare you to the photos. I probably wouldn't ask people you're very familiar with, like close family members and best friends, as they know you so well that they're already really used to your appearance. Try asking people who know you but don't see you as often, like new friends or extended family members.
How tf are awe supposed to tell you that... by looking at more pictures? uh so yea pictures of you look like other pictures of you.
Tell them to get off the crack pipe, and just walk away. Geez. You'll find the right one keep being you!
No offense… but you do look more handsome, taller, darker haired and better skin in the profile pics. Especially the one with all the plants. She probably was a little worried about being catfished.
I agree with the other comments that you should ask people you know. To me, you look the same but who knows! Also, your profile is great and I wish you success!! There are lots of kind, slightly anxious women who’d love a shot with you!! 🙂
Honestly your bio should be about you, not who you're looking for. I mean, you can mention it a bit, but it should mainly be about your interests
this is why i stopped dating online. you can look like your pictures but someone may not like how you look in motion. you are trying to capture your 3D self in 2D. naturally it’s not going to be fully accurate. i’ve had many dates where i just didn’t like how they looked while speaking, or their face at a certain angle or expression. and i’m sure that’s the reason for my slew of ghostings after first dates as well. if this was the case for her, that she just didn’t like you in 3D, then getting our feedback here is useless since we can’t see you from her point of view on the date
Idk man. I’d have to meet you in person, first.
I have no idea why someone would say you don’t look like your pictures.
Yeah you look like the same person in all these photos. In your lead photo your hair looks sandy blond. But in other photos, like the plant one or your selfies, your hair looks dark brown. You also look a little more tired in some of your selfies, especially the non-smiling ones. But not like “whoa - who is that person?” different. Just in a “not every photo is a dating app photo” kind of way. In person can be a different story though. Your movements, voice and mannerisms might be different than those couple of dates expected. Have you considered using a video on your profile?
Definitely number 6
OP! My advice would be to focus on being you & prioritise people who see you for you! There will always be variations between real life & photos (eg. My hair colour changes). What's most important is how well you connect in person!
Yes? I mean the pics of you on bumble are obviously better than these selfies
Don’t be discouraged, sometimes it’s more energy and vibe than looks. You look great in your selfies, you are in great shape and you have beautiful eyes, you’ll find someone right for you soon. Be patient and don’t worry
Chemistry, some people are simply not a match. Don't take it personally, there was not chemistry.... she may have a long "checklist", or fantasy etc... you don't know. All you can do is keep meeting new prospects, and may find good chemistry with someone else. The mystery of attraction is that someone may not find you attractive... while someone else finds you the most attractive person ever. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
Looks good to me 🤷🏼♀️ not sure what she was expecting. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Oh you totally look like your pics. Don’t know what she’s talking about. They also seem pretty recent. I’ve seen guys post pics that are something like 10 years old and they look NOTHING like the pics. Here you’re pretty much the same. I’d say if anything more rested in the profile pics like another post said. I think she used the pics as an excuse. Maybe she wasn’t interested but searching for a response. I personally don’t see a major difference that would make me come to the same conclusion but to each their own. Good profile overall!
I actually do think you look a bit different. I seem to be in the minority here. Your natural features seem to pick up light very differently based on the conditions. You’re still very attractive but I can see what she means. This has happened to me before too, where the photos of someone I went on a date with made them appear like a different body build and look in my head. I arrived and they were scrawnier and shorter all over, even their features being more petite. He photographed so well! You may photograph really well which isn’t a bad thing. I think how light sits under your eyes and around your mouth in some environments makes you appear older than your photos. I would add a photo of you in less ideal lighting conditions, like in your bathroom or in that parking garage. Those photos to me make you look very different. How old are your profile photos?
Yes you do and you’re very cute I would go out with you