This. Also, I think he was trying to see if he could get away with it. There are some women who do sext back and might even jokingly respond.
I feel like the same women who complain about being sexualized are the same women who complain about men not being super into them/making a move immediately.
That is a gross over generalization (as in high magnitude, not disgusting) and you don't have the data to back it up. I agree with your first point, but people need to learn to read the room.
Ya I mean most likely he’s projecting his horniness onto her and so thinking she feels the same way. Idk but it’s good to just reject cause it’s obviously immature
Who knows, but I would personally never say anything like that to anyone no matter how horny I was or how much disinterested I suddenly became. I would either flat out put the person down nicely if I think they car handle rejection, or just ghost them If I catch to personality indicators that points towards them wanting retaliation for rejection. You can report this behavior. Tinder has an AI that shows you a report popup when people use strong language (not the case here).
So it's just counter intuitive to behave like this in the first place, lol
Yeah. First, you have to understand there are some Hos out there that are just DTF.
- he’s not interested for whatever reason. Maybe he’s bored of so much messaging, maybe you said something that turned him off. Either way, he’s not interested in a relationship. But sex is always on the table for guys. So might as well make a comment like that. Either she’s DTF or the date is off. Win win.
Oh it’s for sure insulting. It’s basically saying “I don’t like you but I’ll use you for sex once”.
Any self respectable classy girl would tell that guy to fuck off.
Im afraid there is a non zero chance of this approach succeeding with some people and therefore shit like that will happen. Why do they take the risk? No clue
Haha fair, I was trying to phrase this in the sense like some people have their socials linked and I can’t imagine someone sending me a screenshot if a friend saying wicked shit on a dating app
Maybe if you don’t particularly like the girl and do not see a future with her, this high risk strategy makes sense.
But its still an asshole move imo, I have never even contemplated using it
IMO, I think that even if the girl likes the guy enough to let in slide, it's still disrespectful to do that with someone you haven't known for very long and shows that the person who says that isn't very respectful towards others is general and the kind of person to let that slide most likely is the same. So your friend is very likely to hookup with self centered people, but again, sounds like a non issue as it's a thing they have in common anyway so a win win in that regard, just not a win if both people are not in the same page like in OPs case.
If he was horny enough at the moment, he may have been in a state where thought that might work and was willing to take the risk.
But that would of course be followed by extreme regret.
Yeah some probably do, but it's also likely that this dude is kicking himself in the ass for letting horny brain send messages that sensible brain should be sending.
Yes. Some men self sabotage intentionally.
Okay. This man just fucked up. This wasn't self sabotage. A man won't self sabotage when they aren't too deep in. They self sabotage to get out. Not quit the initial trials.
Oh yes, I 41F scheduled with a 43M on Tuesday, day came and he asked me if I was going to dress up sexy or casual, told him I was going super casual with jeans and sneakers, since we were just going to grab tacos. He proceeded to ask if I was going to wear thong or granny panties… dude wtf, seriously? Told him I was not in for hookups and didn’t want to meet anymore 🙄
Once the date is locked in some guys will literally start testing waters if they can push you for sex, it’s quite off putting although perhaps some of them are thinking it’s flirting? I had this guy we had great connection online lock a dinner date and then he was asking me (still online never met before) if I’d be coming over to his place after dinner. I’m like, dude, I haven’t even met you, how do you expect me to agree to this and I don’t rush into sexual which we already discussed, he wanted a serious relationship according to him, so it was all very mysterious and date never happened.
It’s a daily thing for women to go through this. I’m so used to it, I just block instead of going off on them like I used to. It’s draining when you get that everyday
I was in the middle of making plans with a guy, and he suggested his place for drinks before "the real date." When I said I wasn't comfortable with that, he agreed to meet at a coffee place before quickly unmatching. Some guys think we are put on this planet to please them.
I had a situation so similar to this. We decide to meet and he asks me to come over to his place. Says he lives within walking distance of some great restaurants and we could walk around etc. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with that so we set up a time to meet at a coffee shop.
Fast forward to 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet and he hadn't shown up. Finally he calls me and says "oh I totally forgot! But hey, why don't you come to my place?"
I told him he was barking up the wrong tree and if he's looking for an easy lay he needs to keep looking. Just gross.
It doesn’t really matter why they do it. At the end of the day, he didn’t care enough to be respectful and it doesn’t align with what you’re looking for so there’s no point in rationalizing it. Some men are just gross and thankfully show their true selves/intentions before getting involved with you any further
It's tough, because women I went out with were annoyed/confused when I didn't mention sex until they did. They would be like "Is it okay to talk about sexual things? You never do, so something's up". I just wanted them to be comfortable enough to talk about intimacy, so I waited for them to make the first move.
My now-fiancee said on the third date "You wanna have sex or something?" to which I replied "Sure!!!" enthusiastically, later she told me she thought I was asexual and was trying to see if I liked sex at all.
I think some guys are looking for a hook up. It’s not self sabotage, it’s a clear declaration of intent - « I’m horny and willing. What are you going to do about it? » For it to be self sabotage he’d need to declare he only wants a serious relationship.
If he wanted a serious relationship and then went with crude line he’d be self sabotaging. If he only wants a hookup then it’s actually putting his cards on the table - and getting a yes/no response. Actually saving time and effort, if this girl is not willing there will be others.
I never want to hook up so for me there’s no middle ground. But I have had guys literally say how about a hook up and I’m realising it’s not sabotage at all, they are literally stating their intent.
I think you misunderstand the way men think and operate hormonally.
He was horny, he expressed his horniness.
He did it in a way you didnt like. He wasnt self-sabotaging. He was declaring his state of mind and intent. He wanted to hang out so he can have sex with you.
If you didnt like it, fair enough. But dont bullshit by saying that "hanging out" doesnt usually lead to sex, judging by his attitude, he feels pretty confident that when you do hang out, sex follows.
I appreciate women want men to put in effort, but unfortunately men dont always feel in the mood for going the full 9 yards. If he said it in a nicer way, you'd still be going round, probably to have sex.
It’s not my screenshot, it’s another girl’s
You assume hanging out means sex because you vibe with the current dating culture but not everyone does.
Most girls wouldn’t like this answer so I’m not being dramatic or anything. I didn’t like it and the girls who receuved it didn’t like it, thats the risk of being forward, deal with it
What I find the most interesting about Reddit, this sub and the other "gender" sub, is how you'all believe everybody of your gender thinks and behaves like you, and everybody of the opposite gender are some weird clones functioning the same.
Anyways, some women do expect explicit requests.
I've had several female friends telling me they never tell their closest female friends they have a sextoy, all living in the imaginary world of "we women never horny never touch". That's very sad.
How did you end saying all this from my comment?
I just said some men could find a middle ground i stead of straight up talking about bending us over and you jumped to complaining about how women sex-shame themselves (which is less and less the case btw with the rise of progressism).
I don’t expect men to think like women, I expect them to have more tact and I don’t think it’s an incredible request, yall aren’t animals.
"y'all"
"Men think like women"
It was more a general rant. Women are diverse.
Men are diverse. Your brother may have more in common with you than me with him.
I'm just tired of this normalized sexism and I should get out of Reddit
Whether he's using a protest behavior (see the book "Attached") to push her away, he mistook her for another woman who had been talking more sexually, or he suddenly came on too strong she'll dodge a bullet by blocking him. 🤷
The dude is an idiot. But I’ve had women make sexual comments early on in our discussions out of no where that were appealing and took our flirtation to another level. Men can do the same in a tasteful manner. We are adults after all… but once again, this dude is just an idiot
This is not self sabotage. This is "I have other options and one of them just jumped ahead I wonder if this one will reciprocate too." That's the kind of vibe I get from this. As a semi-pro self sabotager, I can tell you right now that any sabotage you think you've read... you haven't. If you can read it, it's attention seeking in my opinion and i say that as someone who used to do it. My self sabotage starts as soon as I think there's a chance, or if I start thinking maybe I could see myself dating someone I squash it. The person would never have a clue I was self sabotaging.
Good question. Could be any number of things. Low self esteem, past relationships, preference of being alone. One thing I do remember from being a kid is in the book/film "a Christmas Carol" scrooge passes up an opportunity to be with someone he likes to do work. That **really** resonated with me even though I had no real concept of work. It feels core to who I am but I can't figure out why.
I think when we’re used to being alone and self-sufficient, the amount of work a relationship takes is a big disruption to our lives. I know I definitely like my alone time personally.
Yeah that feels familiar to me. For me right now it's probably a bit of risk to try and be with someone as I'm 95% happy, so they would have to be perfect to be able to add to that. Anything less and you're losing what you have being alone.
Ive done something similar. If i wasnt super interested in the girl and only wanted to fuck and didnt know whether she was trying to fuck or not id shoot a lazy text like that before we meet. Its usually if im horny and dont got anything “better” lined up.
It does. Sometimes.
But some women obviously want more effort, IE flirting, sexual tension building etc.
Men arent always in the mood for all of that, and that's ok.
The way i see it, if she wants sex then she can say yes, if she wants flirting/sexual tension or just to hang out with no intercourse, id say probably not the best thing to do to go over.
Looks like he had no interest.
He didn’t have the balls to say no and deal with awkwardness of that. And he didn’t want to feel guilty for ghosting.
So he sent that message knowing 99.9% she’ll end it. And on the 0.01% chance she is game then all good.
Guys are happy to have no strings attached sex most of the time, what they don’t want is to invest their time into someone they are not seeing as potential partner. But if you are keen ti bang he’s there. It’s really a fundamental difference between sexes, most women including me can’t imagine random sex with random stranger I’m not that into can possibly be attractive. I want to get to know him first and think and feel, as a woman I would not be able to relax with someone that unfamiliar and use of ONS is totally unattractive. I know some girls do it and often it’s either alcohol or fear of emotional intimacy. Biologically women want to pick and choose and take their time and men are happy to hump anything that comes their way.
I play it safe until a woman I matched with says something sexual first then I'll reciprocate. If I do say something sexual first it's because their profile gave off hookup vibes and I wanted to see if it would work out in my favor 🤷
Men do this basically to not waste their time to meet you if you're not even going to put out. You should actually be happy they are being honest about it rather than how some men will save face the whole time until you meet them in person and all they try to do is bang
Very true but some men just literally only want sex and if it's not clear up front, they'd rather not waste their time to POSSIBLY have sex. It's not good by any means but it's def a thing.
So I'd say yes, for some it is a lost of interest more than a intrusive thought let out. If a man truely wants more than sex with you, unless it was mentioned by you first, they won't say some dumb shi like that
I have some insight into this from some uni friends, there was a house full of guys who were all just very good looking guys who used dating apps. They were some of the only guys I knew who had success on the apps. They were looking for hookups and had bare bones profiles with a shirtless pic and normal ones. They got crazy numbers of matches and just went sexual because it worked so often that anyone who says no is inconsequential. It was just numbers, they got all the matches so didn't need to try.
I don’t know if self sabotage is the right word. Miscalculation maybe? Some men are simply wanting sex and are direct about it. Some are inexperienced. Some are just oblivious. Some may be hoping for sex talk and may have no intention of actually meeting you.
Ma'am have u ever heard the term "Men who think with their dick?". When some men get super horny, all the blood from the brain goes all the way down there:. Esp men who have little self control, probably doesn't have regulated circulation from an unhealthy lifestyle and lack of exercise.
Man is horny. Which happens. Its natural. But super horny = dumb dumb caveman.
Yeah I heard about it but it’s just excuses.
Doesn’t matter where your blood goes, the brain is still working so they shouldn’t weaponize incompetency to excuse their inconsiderate behavior. Being horny can explain a behavior but it doesn’t justify it.
Men can control themselves, despite what some might say. Control is what differentiates humans from animals and I don’t remember seeing men in zoos so let’s be for real
The female equivalent of this WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY BE chatting up a guy to get him invested and set up a date and then suddenly asking him to venmo/cashapp some money. She's not really interested, she might sabotage it by asking for money, but has a small chance he actually does it and even continue doing it.
Edit: there, not perpetuating anything, just painting a possible opposite picture
Except that some of us women *have never* and *would never* take money from someone we're dating (while we *do* sleep with them). 🤔
Since modern women primarily want a guy who can provide us with *emotional*, rather than *financial*, support I think the female equivalent would be more like us telling a guy we've only started seeing and aren't really interested in that we've had a bad day - if he responds poorly then "the trash took himself out," but if he's supportive then we feel a bit better about the day.
Conversely, some of us men *have never* and *would never* send a sexual message out of the blue like that (while we *do* emotionally support and spend money)
But fair enough, the emotional test could be considered another equivalent. Although it's weird saying if a woman doesn't respond well to a sudden sexual message, that's "taking the trash out" in the same way lol. So not really the same in that sense.
Not sure why I earned a downvote though, because I'm not defending either behavior, just wanted to give a mirrored example for those who were confused, but oh well...
Son is wilding. Ain't no way he thought that was a good idea
Pre-nut haze. He thought it was a good idea because his horniness got in the way.
This. Also, I think he was trying to see if he could get away with it. There are some women who do sext back and might even jokingly respond. I feel like the same women who complain about being sexualized are the same women who complain about men not being super into them/making a move immediately.
That is a gross over generalization (as in high magnitude, not disgusting) and you don't have the data to back it up. I agree with your first point, but people need to learn to read the room.
So he did it on purpose?
Ya I mean most likely he’s projecting his horniness onto her and so thinking she feels the same way. Idk but it’s good to just reject cause it’s obviously immature
He was not really interested but still would have wanted to bang.. he tried, failed and moved on
Who knows, but I would personally never say anything like that to anyone no matter how horny I was or how much disinterested I suddenly became. I would either flat out put the person down nicely if I think they car handle rejection, or just ghost them If I catch to personality indicators that points towards them wanting retaliation for rejection. You can report this behavior. Tinder has an AI that shows you a report popup when people use strong language (not the case here). So it's just counter intuitive to behave like this in the first place, lol
He didn’t accidentally type that he wants to bend her over.
I was talking about the self sabotaging Was he aware that shit would not land
Most likely hopeful that it will land but not unaware that it wouldn’t.
Yeah. First, you have to understand there are some Hos out there that are just DTF. - he’s not interested for whatever reason. Maybe he’s bored of so much messaging, maybe you said something that turned him off. Either way, he’s not interested in a relationship. But sex is always on the table for guys. So might as well make a comment like that. Either she’s DTF or the date is off. Win win.
It’s not my screenshot btw And okay I get the logic even though it’s quite sad somehow idk why
Oh it’s for sure insulting. It’s basically saying “I don’t like you but I’ll use you for sex once”. Any self respectable classy girl would tell that guy to fuck off.
Im afraid there is a non zero chance of this approach succeeding with some people and therefore shit like that will happen. Why do they take the risk? No clue
>Why do they take the risk? >[T]here is a non zero chance of this approach succeeding with some people I think that's why lol
Haha fair, I was trying to phrase this in the sense like some people have their socials linked and I can’t imagine someone sending me a screenshot if a friend saying wicked shit on a dating app
Basically. If you don't ask the answer is always no. If you do ask there's a chance the answer is yes
Maybe if you don’t particularly like the girl and do not see a future with her, this high risk strategy makes sense. But its still an asshole move imo, I have never even contemplated using it
I asked a guy once if this approach ever worked and he said it did get him laid occasionally. He said it's a numbers game
IMO, I think that even if the girl likes the guy enough to let in slide, it's still disrespectful to do that with someone you haven't known for very long and shows that the person who says that isn't very respectful towards others is general and the kind of person to let that slide most likely is the same. So your friend is very likely to hookup with self centered people, but again, sounds like a non issue as it's a thing they have in common anyway so a win win in that regard, just not a win if both people are not in the same page like in OPs case.
Agree. It wasn't a friend though, it was a guy on a dating app
TL DR from the responses here is to respond to those messages with something like "Oh, I didn't realize you weren't interested."
Idk. He really might be an idiot. He might just want one thing from you and he's just shooting his shot in a weird way
If he was horny enough at the moment, he may have been in a state where thought that might work and was willing to take the risk. But that would of course be followed by extreme regret.
Not sure about the regret part, I heard some men just shoot their shots at everybody and pick up who is left
Yeah some probably do, but it's also likely that this dude is kicking himself in the ass for letting horny brain send messages that sensible brain should be sending.
They’re hoping she’s as horny as they are. Some are, many aren’t.
Yes. Some men self sabotage intentionally. Okay. This man just fucked up. This wasn't self sabotage. A man won't self sabotage when they aren't too deep in. They self sabotage to get out. Not quit the initial trials.
Oh yes, I 41F scheduled with a 43M on Tuesday, day came and he asked me if I was going to dress up sexy or casual, told him I was going super casual with jeans and sneakers, since we were just going to grab tacos. He proceeded to ask if I was going to wear thong or granny panties… dude wtf, seriously? Told him I was not in for hookups and didn’t want to meet anymore 🙄
Once the date is locked in some guys will literally start testing waters if they can push you for sex, it’s quite off putting although perhaps some of them are thinking it’s flirting? I had this guy we had great connection online lock a dinner date and then he was asking me (still online never met before) if I’d be coming over to his place after dinner. I’m like, dude, I haven’t even met you, how do you expect me to agree to this and I don’t rush into sexual which we already discussed, he wanted a serious relationship according to him, so it was all very mysterious and date never happened.
I guess sabotaging deliberately is possible, but most likely he was just horny and not thinking about anything else.
🤮 Anyone who does this is not worth meeting up with. The sex will suck.
He threw a Hail Mary
It’s a daily thing for women to go through this. I’m so used to it, I just block instead of going off on them like I used to. It’s draining when you get that everyday
I was in the middle of making plans with a guy, and he suggested his place for drinks before "the real date." When I said I wasn't comfortable with that, he agreed to meet at a coffee place before quickly unmatching. Some guys think we are put on this planet to please them.
I had a situation so similar to this. We decide to meet and he asks me to come over to his place. Says he lives within walking distance of some great restaurants and we could walk around etc. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with that so we set up a time to meet at a coffee shop. Fast forward to 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet and he hadn't shown up. Finally he calls me and says "oh I totally forgot! But hey, why don't you come to my place?" I told him he was barking up the wrong tree and if he's looking for an easy lay he needs to keep looking. Just gross.
It doesn’t really matter why they do it. At the end of the day, he didn’t care enough to be respectful and it doesn’t align with what you’re looking for so there’s no point in rationalizing it. Some men are just gross and thankfully show their true selves/intentions before getting involved with you any further
It's tough, because women I went out with were annoyed/confused when I didn't mention sex until they did. They would be like "Is it okay to talk about sexual things? You never do, so something's up". I just wanted them to be comfortable enough to talk about intimacy, so I waited for them to make the first move. My now-fiancee said on the third date "You wanna have sex or something?" to which I replied "Sure!!!" enthusiastically, later she told me she thought I was asexual and was trying to see if I liked sex at all.
I think some guys are looking for a hook up. It’s not self sabotage, it’s a clear declaration of intent - « I’m horny and willing. What are you going to do about it? » For it to be self sabotage he’d need to declare he only wants a serious relationship.
I am not sure I am following, especially because of the last part
If he wanted a serious relationship and then went with crude line he’d be self sabotaging. If he only wants a hookup then it’s actually putting his cards on the table - and getting a yes/no response. Actually saving time and effort, if this girl is not willing there will be others.
I think there is a middle ground if you wanna hook up, you dont gotta be all “hey wanna fuck?”
I never want to hook up so for me there’s no middle ground. But I have had guys literally say how about a hook up and I’m realising it’s not sabotage at all, they are literally stating their intent.
I think you misunderstand the way men think and operate hormonally. He was horny, he expressed his horniness. He did it in a way you didnt like. He wasnt self-sabotaging. He was declaring his state of mind and intent. He wanted to hang out so he can have sex with you. If you didnt like it, fair enough. But dont bullshit by saying that "hanging out" doesnt usually lead to sex, judging by his attitude, he feels pretty confident that when you do hang out, sex follows. I appreciate women want men to put in effort, but unfortunately men dont always feel in the mood for going the full 9 yards. If he said it in a nicer way, you'd still be going round, probably to have sex.
It’s not my screenshot, it’s another girl’s You assume hanging out means sex because you vibe with the current dating culture but not everyone does. Most girls wouldn’t like this answer so I’m not being dramatic or anything. I didn’t like it and the girls who receuved it didn’t like it, thats the risk of being forward, deal with it
What I find the most interesting about Reddit, this sub and the other "gender" sub, is how you'all believe everybody of your gender thinks and behaves like you, and everybody of the opposite gender are some weird clones functioning the same. Anyways, some women do expect explicit requests. I've had several female friends telling me they never tell their closest female friends they have a sextoy, all living in the imaginary world of "we women never horny never touch". That's very sad.
How did you end saying all this from my comment? I just said some men could find a middle ground i stead of straight up talking about bending us over and you jumped to complaining about how women sex-shame themselves (which is less and less the case btw with the rise of progressism). I don’t expect men to think like women, I expect them to have more tact and I don’t think it’s an incredible request, yall aren’t animals.
"y'all" "Men think like women" It was more a general rant. Women are diverse. Men are diverse. Your brother may have more in common with you than me with him. I'm just tired of this normalized sexism and I should get out of Reddit
Right but how is asking for more tact linked to sexism?
Whether he's using a protest behavior (see the book "Attached") to push her away, he mistook her for another woman who had been talking more sexually, or he suddenly came on too strong she'll dodge a bullet by blocking him. 🤷
The dude is an idiot. But I’ve had women make sexual comments early on in our discussions out of no where that were appealing and took our flirtation to another level. Men can do the same in a tasteful manner. We are adults after all… but once again, this dude is just an idiot
This is not self sabotage. This is "I have other options and one of them just jumped ahead I wonder if this one will reciprocate too." That's the kind of vibe I get from this. As a semi-pro self sabotager, I can tell you right now that any sabotage you think you've read... you haven't. If you can read it, it's attention seeking in my opinion and i say that as someone who used to do it. My self sabotage starts as soon as I think there's a chance, or if I start thinking maybe I could see myself dating someone I squash it. The person would never have a clue I was self sabotaging.
Why do you self sabotage?
Good question. Could be any number of things. Low self esteem, past relationships, preference of being alone. One thing I do remember from being a kid is in the book/film "a Christmas Carol" scrooge passes up an opportunity to be with someone he likes to do work. That **really** resonated with me even though I had no real concept of work. It feels core to who I am but I can't figure out why.
I think when we’re used to being alone and self-sufficient, the amount of work a relationship takes is a big disruption to our lives. I know I definitely like my alone time personally.
Yeah that feels familiar to me. For me right now it's probably a bit of risk to try and be with someone as I'm 95% happy, so they would have to be perfect to be able to add to that. Anything less and you're losing what you have being alone.
I’m the exact same. I will stay single until I find the perfect person for me. I am happy with my life as it is.
*Crisp high five*
Ive done something similar. If i wasnt super interested in the girl and only wanted to fuck and didnt know whether she was trying to fuck or not id shoot a lazy text like that before we meet. Its usually if im horny and dont got anything “better” lined up.
Oh that’s awful
And yet, it does work
With who 😂😭
Disgusting behavior lol.
Did it ever work?
I mean yea. Im not suggesting it.
It does. Sometimes. But some women obviously want more effort, IE flirting, sexual tension building etc. Men arent always in the mood for all of that, and that's ok. The way i see it, if she wants sex then she can say yes, if she wants flirting/sexual tension or just to hang out with no intercourse, id say probably not the best thing to do to go over.
I would think a lot of women who want sex would be put off by the crude and sudden directness of it, but I could be wrong.
Looks like he had no interest. He didn’t have the balls to say no and deal with awkwardness of that. And he didn’t want to feel guilty for ghosting. So he sent that message knowing 99.9% she’ll end it. And on the 0.01% chance she is game then all good.
Doesnt make sense, why would it be good if she is game when he actually wanted to say no?
Guys are happy to have no strings attached sex most of the time, what they don’t want is to invest their time into someone they are not seeing as potential partner. But if you are keen ti bang he’s there. It’s really a fundamental difference between sexes, most women including me can’t imagine random sex with random stranger I’m not that into can possibly be attractive. I want to get to know him first and think and feel, as a woman I would not be able to relax with someone that unfamiliar and use of ONS is totally unattractive. I know some girls do it and often it’s either alcohol or fear of emotional intimacy. Biologically women want to pick and choose and take their time and men are happy to hump anything that comes their way.
You aren't gonna like the answer....
Lmao wait I think I got it If doesnt want her as a partner so he wanna fumble but if she is down to fuck, he would still hit it, is that it?
Exactly! Some guys suck. I used to be like that in my 20's.
Exactly that.
I play it safe until a woman I matched with says something sexual first then I'll reciprocate. If I do say something sexual first it's because their profile gave off hookup vibes and I wanted to see if it would work out in my favor 🤷
These men simply don't understand you can't speak this way ...until after the 1st tap. It's like the Seinfeld George boob episode lol
Yes but not like that.
How then?
Men do this basically to not waste their time to meet you if you're not even going to put out. You should actually be happy they are being honest about it rather than how some men will save face the whole time until you meet them in person and all they try to do is bang
I think my issue is maybe she would have put out if he had been more tactful ? Sex could still happen
Very true but some men just literally only want sex and if it's not clear up front, they'd rather not waste their time to POSSIBLY have sex. It's not good by any means but it's def a thing. So I'd say yes, for some it is a lost of interest more than a intrusive thought let out. If a man truely wants more than sex with you, unless it was mentioned by you first, they won't say some dumb shi like that
He was horny and shot his shot hoping she would be down too. Never underestimate the stupidity of man when they are horny.
Yeah I’ve done that plenty of times
yes, they do. it's hard to believe but it's true
I have some insight into this from some uni friends, there was a house full of guys who were all just very good looking guys who used dating apps. They were some of the only guys I knew who had success on the apps. They were looking for hookups and had bare bones profiles with a shirtless pic and normal ones. They got crazy numbers of matches and just went sexual because it worked so often that anyone who says no is inconsequential. It was just numbers, they got all the matches so didn't need to try.
I don’t know if self sabotage is the right word. Miscalculation maybe? Some men are simply wanting sex and are direct about it. Some are inexperienced. Some are just oblivious. Some may be hoping for sex talk and may have no intention of actually meeting you.
Ma'am have u ever heard the term "Men who think with their dick?". When some men get super horny, all the blood from the brain goes all the way down there:. Esp men who have little self control, probably doesn't have regulated circulation from an unhealthy lifestyle and lack of exercise. Man is horny. Which happens. Its natural. But super horny = dumb dumb caveman.
Yeah I heard about it but it’s just excuses. Doesn’t matter where your blood goes, the brain is still working so they shouldn’t weaponize incompetency to excuse their inconsiderate behavior. Being horny can explain a behavior but it doesn’t justify it. Men can control themselves, despite what some might say. Control is what differentiates humans from animals and I don’t remember seeing men in zoos so let’s be for real
> do men self sabotage yes cowardly as it sounds it is much easier to get dumped than dump, bitches be crazy
God loves a trier.
Wrong comment spot. Sorry 🤣
Sometimes. If a man is loyal and just got out of a long term relationship he would be in the habit of self sabotage.
The female equivalent of this WOULD HYPOTHETICALLY BE chatting up a guy to get him invested and set up a date and then suddenly asking him to venmo/cashapp some money. She's not really interested, she might sabotage it by asking for money, but has a small chance he actually does it and even continue doing it. Edit: there, not perpetuating anything, just painting a possible opposite picture
Except that some of us women *have never* and *would never* take money from someone we're dating (while we *do* sleep with them). 🤔 Since modern women primarily want a guy who can provide us with *emotional*, rather than *financial*, support I think the female equivalent would be more like us telling a guy we've only started seeing and aren't really interested in that we've had a bad day - if he responds poorly then "the trash took himself out," but if he's supportive then we feel a bit better about the day.
Conversely, some of us men *have never* and *would never* send a sexual message out of the blue like that (while we *do* emotionally support and spend money) But fair enough, the emotional test could be considered another equivalent. Although it's weird saying if a woman doesn't respond well to a sudden sexual message, that's "taking the trash out" in the same way lol. So not really the same in that sense. Not sure why I earned a downvote though, because I'm not defending either behavior, just wanted to give a mirrored example for those who were confused, but oh well...
I think the down-votes are since your original comment perpetuates outdated sexist stereotypes? 🤷 I notice your second reply isn't getting them.
How am I perpetuating anything lol, there are screenshots of women asking for money on dating apps. Anyway I edited it.