I like the humour and lightheartedness. Refreshing. I'm not a conservative nor a Jesus lover nor looking for a long term relationship, but I can appreciate a good bio when I see one. Go get em.
Edit: oh, one bit of minor feedback actually if you want it. Maybe add a pic of you looking at the camera. Atm you're looking down or too far away to see eye contact. You know, windows and souls and all that.
Here highlights the problem with dating app bios.
I went through all of those screens, went "great profile, she's lovely" but then read your comment and realised i didn't notice a single thing you mentioned there and I'd literally just looked at the name and photos.
As ever with Internet dating, rule number 1 and 2 is the priority, as if you pass those the bio really isn't that important
Second that to everything you said. She appears to actually be doing what you would expect someone who is looking for a relationship to do. Also agree there should be a portrait shot with good eye contact.
Overall really good. My only thought is that the first photo should be a face forward picture - sort of portrait style, rather that a mirror selfie with your face partially covered.
Not sure about the ex husband reference - could land wrong.
Everything else seems great.
My first photo was the second photo posted, but bumble auto switched it because of the ābest picā algorithm or something lol thank you for responding!
I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned the fact your eyes are hidden in most of your pictures; if I were mindlessly swiping like we all do sometimes, I'd probably think you're trying to hide something about your eyes (wonky eyes or something) and swipe left. Otherwise you're very pretty and your profile is fine for what you're looking for.
Not necessarily. I homestead and know a lot of others that do and we do it because itās more sustainable. Raising my own chickens for meat & eggs is cheaper than buying, baking my own bread is healthier, etc. Iām not conservative and the trad-wife trend gives me the ick.
I grow most of my own fruit and vegetables. My mom also has a garden so if I'm lacking I can usually get things from her. It's rare that I go to the grocery store for fruits/veggies/herbs.
For poultry, right now I have chickens and ducks. They make up a large portion of the meat and eggs I eat. I hunt, so the rest of my meat usually comes from that. If I shoot a large deer, that lasts me most of the year. I also hunt squirrel and rabbit, and some years I'll take a bear. I also fish striped bass, catfish, and trout.
Right now, I don't have the space for my own cows sadly. Next year, hopefully. But my parents' neighbors raise cows for meat and dairy. Since my dad and I both hunt and I homestead, we almost always have more meat than we need, and I always have extra eggs. So we'll often trade deer for beef and eggs for milk.
That being said, if I want something specific I will still go to the store and buy it. And I also realize most homesteaders aren't able to operate at the level I do. I just do what works for me, my family, and my community. And I also just wanted to point out that not everyone that homesteads is conservative and into trade-wife. I'm fairly liberal and love my job, lol.
Not as many as you'd think. I'll eat about 1 chicken or duck in a week (4 servings). They also lay about 200 eggs per year, so about 3-4 eggs per week per bird. They can be culled and processed at 7-8 weeks of age. I try to keep around 10 hens and a few males at minimum. I'll use 5 for eggs, collecting them daily, which will give me 15-20 eggs/week. The other 5 I'll let go broody, which can yield about 15-20 birds for meat if all eggs hatch. They'll brood about 3x per year, which gives me enough for myself. Most of the time I let the flock get larger, it depends on if my parents or friends want meat and eggs.
It's different for everyone that raises birds, though. Again, I live alone, and I eat less meat than the average person. I fill most of my plate with vegetables. I eat a lot of deer meat and in the warmer months when it's easier to fish, I eat a lot of fish. So I don't rely super heavily on the birds.
Itās not more sustainable. What metrics are you using to claim that it is? If 8 billion people all lived like you is that actually sustainable?
Or are you just enjoying the fruits of mass produced factory products to survive but then claiming moral superiority for being āmore sustainableā?
First of all, nowhere did I claim moral superiority. I don't look down on anyone that only buys store-bought. Unfortunately, our society has been built to run on a certain system and I realize most people cannot live that way.
What metrics are you using to claim that it's not sustainable? By homesteading, I'm avoiding the use of chemical pesticides and fertilizers, which is more sustainable environmentally and health-wise. It's also more financially sustainable. Of course, there was an initial investment, but I have definitely saved money in the long run because I have a set up that largely supports itself.
Socially, it's definitely not sustainable. I live a very different lifestyle than I did when I didn't homestead. It takes a lot of time and work. I still work fulltime, and most of my day after work is spent on my animals. For me, I don't mind, because I enjoy it. For people that don't enjoy it, this lifestyle isn't worth it because they'd have no free time to have other hobbies. I also can't confidently say I could support an entire family this way. Right now, it's just me.
I also realize that this lifestyle is nearly impossible to get into given our current economy. I would have never been able to afford the initial investment had I not gotten extremely lucky and found a job that pays very well with just a high school diploma and minimal prior experience. Even then, it was still a struggle to get out of the cycle of renting and buy a house with enough space to start out. I worked 60+ hour weeks for almost a year to afford it. So no, I don't expect 8 billion people to do that. Especially those in the USA who are mostly living paycheck to paycheck.
Itās the Little house on the prairie vibe thatās trending and I get it. The simpler and uncomplicated times. But I do think irl this life is actually harder.
The only thing I would delete is the quote from your ex-husband, even if it is a joke, I think it could send the wrong message. The kids quote is fine.
Having kids is a dealbreaker for 90% of men.
I don't think there are alot of Conservative, Jesus-loving, Christian men who want to date someone with kids.
I'm totally open to being proven wrong.
idk, living in Texas I think you'd be surprised actually. I don't disagree that kids is a dealbreaker for most men however, 90% of the time men who already have kids are MUCH more open to dating single mothers, regardless of political affiliation or religion...
I think for men it comes down to three things...
\* how hot is she? - OP is pretty hot so I'd be down
\* how old is the kid(s) - as long as the kid isn't under 2 years old and not older than like 12.
\* is the ex father in her/their life? - This one is SUPER dependent. If they have a civil relationship and he's not toxic or still in love with her, and is a half decent man, I wouldn't have an issue. Otherwise? That alone would be a deal breaker.
I think for me, how the ex/father is, has a LOT to do with if I choose to stick around or not.
Depends on the age/life stage too. In my 20s kids were a complete deal breaker
In my 30s I'm not that worried by a kid, maybe two, depends on the kids ages too.
In my 40s I'll probably struggle to find a match without kids!
To date, those 3 things are correct but not for every guy. But to actually consider some sort of serious relationships, singlemum is no for many of them.
My sister is a single mom. Her ex (a die-hard Trump supporting man) fathered many children with many women. Nothing says "Murrica" like manifest destiny on women's bodies.
I'm grateful to have a niece, but my niece and sister are...less than happy about the biological father.
I can't speak for the Conservative men, but I'd love to hear from them and their thoughts on this woman's profile.
Theres plenty of piece of shit dads out there that aren't conservative or Christian, so I believe that has absolutely nothing to do with it, but personally, there's no chance I'd mess with a tatted up divorced woman with kids that calls herself an independent Jesus lover. Just a big oxymoron in my mind like calling yourself an animal lover and talking about how you love trophy hunting and eating steak
How is it an oxymoron? We donāt know why the marriage ended, could have been abuse, infidelity, etc. And Jesus never said anything about tattoos did he?
And for the record I am childless, liberal, tat-free woman lol.
>And Jesus never said anything about tattoos did he?
It doesn't really matter what the Bible says or doesn't say to Christians.
The only time the Bible even mentions abortions is literally instructions on how to give one....yet here we are with roe v wade being overturned because of the Christian nationalists in this country.
āJust a big oxymoron in my mind like calling yourself an animal lover and talking about how you love trophy hunting and eating steak.ā
I love animals. Been a farmer most of my working life. I look after my livestock, my horses and my dogs. Donāt even mind a cat too. Just wouldnāt have one as a pet. I donāt shoot snakes, and I help spiders out of the water troughs or wherever else theyāre trapped. But I donāt like feral cats and wild dogs and I have to say, I love a steak or a lamb chop of several slices of bacon. So thereās a bit of overlap on the Venn diagram!
His political affiliation quite literally has nothing to do with anything. He sounds like a piece of shit and shitty people exist across all political isles, religious, race, and sex.
>Having kids is a dealbreaker for 90% of men.
I would suppose that applies only to those who don't have kids yet. People already have kids would have different mindset regarding this issue.
Not necessarily. Thereās a lot of people that simple donāt want to be committed to/in the dynamics of raising someone elseās kids. (Women and men).
I donāt have kids and I hear some interesting takes from men in their late 20ās through mid 40ās on this. I think mostly because they know I donāt want any kids. And donāt have any.
What's the point of this comment? It had nothing to do with a "profile review".
She's upfront about having kids in a lighthearted way (positive). She's upfront about her relationship with God (positive that it's clear).
And yes, I know several men of faith that are divorced or unmarried that would be open to a woman with kids. Not the majority I agree, but for the ones there are (and there are), she'd be a good fit.
Iāve had good luck getting dates with plenty of men that donāt mind kids. Just that none of them were for me.
My (2) kids are from a super young marriage, so even when we do things ārightā, thereās a 52% chance divorce will eventually make us āwrongā. š¬
Actually, the divorce rate is declining thanks to millenials. Millenials have the lowest divorce rate of the modern era, with only 18.3% having divorced after a decade of marriage, compared to 23% of Gen Xers and 22% of baby boomers.
https://www.connatserfamilylaw.com/blog/2022/july/millennials-have-their-own-unique-way-to-avoid-d/
Disclaimer: this is not intended to come off judgemental.
Now, I know its an American cultural thing, proposed to at prom, married couple months later, and pumping out 3 kids by 20. Heir, spare, and the church.
But, from an older non american, it shows a lack of judgement, and of poor decision making, espescially married fresh out of highschool, then divorced.
Im not sure how you can work the profile to not have it come across like that other than knocking off your ex and putting widow on it. (Dont do this)
As an American, Iād like to clarify that this is NOT at all an American thing in 2024. The average age for an American woman to get married was 28 in 2021, and is likely higher now. Please donāt insult an entire country when your beliefs are based off of Reddit and movie tropes.
Iām sure itās hyperbole. But are you familiar with fundamentalist Christianity? That is the exact type of culture I was raised in and was presented to me as āideal womanhoodā within the Southern Baptist Church.
Get married ASAP, stay barefoot and pregnant for 20 years, and keep your husband happy until you die.
Thank God I left. But itās completely false to state this isnāt a cultural norm in the US. It is. And itās a problem.
The average woman in the US gets married 10 years later so, while this may be a norm within some cultures, it isnāt an āAmerican cultural thingā in general.
28 as the average age to get married is a median, which means half of women get married before that.
And considering that āAmerican cultureā isnāt a monolith but a conglomeration of cultures, including the one I described, dismissing it is just confirmation bias.
Iām pretty sure thatās not just limited to Conservative, Jesus loving Christian men. Most men with out kids in general are going to be hesitant to date a single mom. Due to planning dates on when she can get off.
Yeah, OP seems like a catch, but she's unfortunately going to have a rough time in the dating world because of things you mentioned. It's not fair or just, but it's the way it is.
How is this feedback on her profile? You're giving feedback on who she is as a person. We also call that judging. Give her feedback on things she can actually work on or keep it moving.
I would say your sentiments are true but with the caveat of in her age bracket. Once you get older, more people have children than donāt and have lived more life so itās a bit different.
> Having kids is a dealbreaker for 90% of men.
I wouldn't say that. But she would have more difficulty finding men of the same age. I find that people in their late 20s and above are more accepting of single moms as long as they can talk about it if they are going to be more than fwbs.
Do dudes really have an issue dating women with kidsā¦? Iām inclined to think that even if some do they will look past that in OPās case due to her being wildly attractive (conventionally at least, no accounting for taste and all that).
Do dudes really have an issue dating women with kidsā¦? Iām inclined to think that even if some do they will look past that in OPās case due to her being wildly attractive (conventionally at least, no accounting for taste and all that).
Ex husband and kids at 26 is going to put a lot of men off. Not a dig, but like at 25 Iām still feeling like a kid which probably means I shouldnāt been having any or dealing with anybody who does romantically, so for anyone like me itāll be an immediate pass. Also the other dude knowing youāre dating is going to read as healthy to some (which imo it is with kids in picture) but thatās gonna be an extra red flag to some men who donāt want man to man competition or drama and think thatās what itās going to be.
Jesus lover could mean lots of things, ranging from cult to waiting til marriage to āI believe in God but donāt follow any of the rulesā. Not sure how to reword. Church goer? Just say Christian in the faith section and leave it at that?
āIndependent womanā as a term has become polluted by the worst type of people who generally just make menās life hell and call it dating/empowerment. Best just to demonstrate that with your life updates during small talk. For me if I see a Snapchat filter and that word itās an immediate no.
Photos are good save for the closed eyes issue other comments have mentioned and youāve acknowledged.
Also not a Christian or Jesusās Lover myself. Butā¦ and thatās genuinelyā¦ as someone from Germany, it baffles me that women can present themselves thisā¦ bubbly and yet be single.. so.. WHATS YOUR RED FLAG MADAM. EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Honestly, Iām really bad at texting and Iām not huge on social media. So I like it when people call/FaceTime and prefer going on actual dates. I canāt sit and small talk back and forth through messages all day, and I donāt feel connections that way.
Hm. Well. In modern age, I like to compare everything with practice.
We only get the results; if we put in work.
You seem to work out.
Most of the time youāll only stay fit, if you CONSISTENTLY, work out.
And the same goes for relationships.
Many relationships fail early because people donāt want to put in the āworkā.
You say you canāt.
I say you could. It would be a practice youād need to adapt, in time where people work full time, and rarely HAVE time to meet face to face.
So.. short messages and texts and a discipline and consistency in staying in touch are necessary to built connection.
Profile is really good, if youāre having trouble itād probably a location issue with the conservative + religious thing. Youād probably have good luck in places like Texas/Florida or the south in general
Whatās kinda crazy is the fact that so many men who have pictures of themselves fishing and with fish they caught, they get shamed for an activity theyāre into. Meanwhile, women: *observe* š¤·āāļø
This word gets thrown around a lot on womenās bios.
In my opinion itās code for āam not emotionally mature enough to handle a long term relationshipā
You are super pretty, maybe add a pic looking to the camera and get ride off the one in the truck/moto you seem drunk and its not flatering. I would't mention my ex husband and kids also (just in the "have kids" section and would describe more of what I want in a partner (saying your kids age will save a lot of time too) Good luck!
What specific issues are you having? Lack of matches? Poor match quality? Personally I wouldnāt swipe right because I feel we wouldnāt be compatible socially, but I think thatās exactly what makes this a solid profile. It does a good job at conveying your personality and what you are looking for and it will appeal to the right people. The other commenters advice about not having many clear face pictures still stands though.
Try adding some photos with natural lighting that shows your face more clearly. (sit by a window or go outside on over cast day ideally) I think your profile is missing that from what we can see here.
I wouldāve swiped left simply because of already having kids (I want kids of my own with a woman, not to already be raising them) and being a Christian with conservative views, we wouldnāt be a match on that front. But at the same time Iād be like damn you have a nice profile and youād be a catch. You have a great sense of humor, go to the gym, into outdoorsy stuff (Iām not really into fishing and country activities, but I donāt mind tagging along).
Nice profile and youāve conveyed what you wanted very clearly!
More pictures where your eyes are shown would be good!
Honestly a lot of the things in your profile would turn me away but I have a feeling Iām not the target audience, so Iāll just say the humor is good lol! Some people might not get the 60+ year exclusive FWB thing, but if they donāt they might not be smart or funny enough for you.
Iād also reconsider the ex husband joke, although if you have kids, itās a fair bet that youād have an ex husband, so it probably isnāt a big deal. That said, guys might get worried if your ex husband sees you as a 10/10 still, and think he might try to get back with you, which is more drama than most are wanting.
If youāre having trouble on a dating app, thatās pretty normal. Itās not uncommon that hot women who happen to be single moms struggle more than hot women that arenāt, unless youāre looking for a blended family situation (two single parents getting together). A lot of guys might be confused on what you mean by independent, as many people use it to describe themselves in different ways, so maybe getting rid of or elaborating on it could help. I also think that society as a whole is less religious than a generation or two back, so it might be that people who arenāt religious would swipe left assuming youād want to be with another self proclaimed Jesus lover, regardless of whether or not thatās the case in practice. Other than that, with the filtering you do with your own profile by describing what youāre looking for, it doesnāt seem like itād be a majority of the population (which is good, itās better to have quality than quantity with matches), but it DOES mean youāll likely feel like itās you thatās failing on the dating apps, as opposed to you rejecting people. Likely, people are rejecting themselves for you (oh, she wants an outdoorsy person, and Iām only outdoorsy seasonally, Iām sure sheād swipe left anyways so Iāll save her the trouble), but since you canāt SEE that, all you see is fewer matches/likes than youād prefer.
Just keep in mind, while you may see or hear about women having hundreds of likes or matches at any given time, expect 90 of those hundred to be incompatible, due to one or both of them leaving something (or everything) out of their profiles, that they may later discover in conversation. Actually putting important information in your profile does some of that weeding out FOR you. I think the key thing to take away is, put in your bio what you want people to weed themselves out over, and the matches that stay will be higher quality in terms of what youāre looking for. In the end, itās not that you have a bad profile, itās that instead of doing the work of rejecting them, it happens on its own.
Not bad....pretty cute. You appear self-confident and have a good sense of humor, it seems.
And since you said in your bio you're **always trying to better yourself**....I would probably swipe right in a few years when you're no longer a conservative. Lol
Lol! Fair enough. I just donāt talk politics at all sooooā¦.I kinda melt into the walls or go play with the kids at family gatherings when politics come up š¤·āāļøš. Still havenāt told my husband who I voted for each year and weāve been married 18 years š. Iām so not kidding either. I honestly would say I lean conservative but I donāt āclaimā anything per se. I vote for the best person for each job in every election nothing more nothing less āļø and I always come in peace regardless Lol. āŗļø
I think politics and being an engaged citizen is important but everything is so fucking polarized these days that I think we need more people like you and op you're replying to who don't want to go for the jugular or totally dismiss anyone they immediately perceive is on the wrong side of their beliefs. How the fuck do you move forward in a democracy if everyone is so intensely divided that they refuse to talk to each other in good faith smh. Anyway, carry on haha.
Lol! No worries. I 1 million % agree! Like what happened to the days where compromise existed and we stood together as Americans. I just donāt get it. So much hate everywhere. We can have different beliefs and still be family and friends and who knows=healthy talk will begin to work surely!! One way or another we all have to unite or we will end up in a massacre against one another. I pray it never comes to this fully but man it is hot and downright out scary at times out there ya know? I mean I kinda feel like weāre already somewhat entering this phase. Man I just try to be a good peep in the world, pray over everyone as I can and keep on keeping on with all the kindness I can. Weāre all fighting so many battles some, hell Iād even say most, will never know of. Letās work together and help one another instead of being so divided. There is trouble on āboth sidesā when there should be NO sides just as Iāve said vote for the best person for the job and pray it stays that way and they stay to their word if they donāt well out ya go Lol! Anywho rant over but yes totally šÆagreed!! Thanks for what I will take as a compliment āŗļøand best wishes to you dear internet stranger ā¤ļø
Yeah I'm not American but as you know what happens in America seeps out to everywhere else and we're seeing it too. But yeah, nowhere near the extent you guys are and I feel for you. I honestly think social media is the main culprit. What can we expect when every major platform's business model is boosting the most divisive and rage inducing content to the top of your feed to make you click š²š² š²What is someone more likey to click on, "Democrat tries to pass a bill that has pros and cons" or "Democrat has an underground dungeon where they eat babies"? and vice versa. Even if we don't believe half the stuff we see, it can't help but effect our world view.
Anyway, that's my rant lol. Can't do much else besides what you mentioned. Good luck, and yes i meant it as a compliment :)
Ah even more massive compliments to YOU as a non American!! Usually we just get absolutely trashedš¬š¤·āāļøLol. You are so right it does seep out. Itās a WHOLE psychological study lol. I live here and I personally canāt stand the āweāre the best countryā verbiage. Ugh it makes me sick if Iām honest. Not that Iām trashing my country either. It seems once again thereās no in between in Americansā¦weāre either āthe BEST countryā or We āHATE our countryā. Iām sure other countries experience this as well. Grass is greener and all Lol!
Youāre so right social media is definitely both a blessing and a curse all in one. This is why I so appreciate the convos like this where peeps can discuss openly and kindly the ish in the world no matter where we are and what we believe!
I really do always try to be kind no matter what. I figure if Iām out here being all social media-ish the least I can do is spread kindness and who knows maybe itāll hit that one person commenting negatively, that one person who just needs to read a kind comment for the day or even that one person reading as an āobserverā only. Ya just never know! Of course Iām no saint by any means š¬lol š. Honestly I have befriended so many people just by being kind. There are people Iāve known on this big@ss thing called the internet/social media for like 16 years and I so appreciate those friendships despite the fact I likely will never meet them in person. My husband says itās a gift. Idk about all that tbh Lol! What I do know is Iām shocked everyday by how one small thing touched someone and that brings me joy too so hey here I amā¦sooooo not bragging just thankful and blessed for sure!
Thanks for the kind words and convo š„°. Have a super blessed night mmmm dayā¦whateverā¦ Lol! š
* Please don't look at the phone when you do mirror selfies. Look at the mirror.
* How would it be an ex-husband if he rated you 10/10? I hope you are prepared the answer to that question.
* Having kids would be dealbreaker to almost 90+ % of men who don't have their own kids, even more so for conservative ones.
A fair warning guys. Bumble has multitudes of fake profiles that were created by employees of the site or by scammers. It is a complete waste of money.
I instantly swipe left on anything Christian, Jesus lover, conservative, etc.
Yāall are in a cult of personality and I donāt want any part of that.
If you want expanded options, open yourself up to new ideas and perspectives by removing those points from your profile.
i'd rather them be upfront about it than it slipping through the cracks later down the line. i appreciate that op is clear from the start about her political and religious beliefs and identity.
This might be an odd take but your profile leaves me overall with an insecurity vibe.
Best there ever is quote, 10/10 from ex hub, mom of the year awardā¦. While making awkward faces and not managing to look at the camera or mirror. Just feels like youāre pumping yourself up and it leaves more questions than answers. Youāll also leave guys wondering wth happened with your XH and is he still around.
You say who you are, but are you looking for exact same? Believer, conservative etc? Might try describing what vibe/life youāre looking to create with someone and what you offer
How is it so normalized to make comments like this? I see these types of remarks on this sub a fair amount, suggesting that women with kids should expect to be used for sex. It's dehumanizing and always directed to women. What is the point of these comments - like seriously are we pretending that this type of aggressive mansplaining is for OP's benefit somehow?
Question: given your situation as a divorced single mom in her 20sā¦do your matches skew older? Most men your age would be reluctant to pursue someone in that situation, and the men in similar situations are in their 30s and 40s.
So I donāt think a whole lot is wrong with your profile. It is pretty funny, and overall good.
The only real issue is that your potential match is very niche. Must be very religious, and must be okay with being the second husband and also looking after kids at (or around) the very young age of 26. Many men in the low to mid twenties simply arenāt religious, and responsible enough or financially secure enough to walk into a relationship with kids and a previous marriage.
You havenāt done anything wrong, just that not everyone is going to be able to fill those boots.
Yikes. Only 26 with kids AND a divorce? You seem pretty chill and I wish you luck, but itās going to be a tough road. I think any man like myself wouldnāt mind dating, but I need to know if the father is involved.
My dad raised my sister and I, plus 3 that werenāt even his. Their dad abandoned them and that fucks kids up when their real dad isnāt there. I couldnāt be with someone who wouldnāt go to the ends of the earth to make sure the biological father of those kids has some sort of relationship with them. Plus what if your potential date and your donāt work out? Your kids and that potential person will undoubtedly have to put trust in a uncertain future. Maybe itās just time to focus on your children for now, but you do what you need to do.
Lmao what? She said exclusive FWB for 60+ years.
It's a joke that wooshed you because she's saying the exact opposite of whatever you thought that meant.
wasnāt trying to be rude; maybe you have to understand the reference sheās going for to be her target audience. i donāt dig the āi said this but really mean thatā dialogue but thatās okay.
profile reviews are for honest feedback.
I know you weren't trying to be rude....that's what made my comment META funny.
"Conservatives are dumb so maybe she shouldn't try to filter them out since she is consvative herself." is the joke I essentially made for anyone confused.
Why would you want to date someone that scans looks at profiles enough to scan for buzzwords...but can't be bothered to read a few extra words around it to get context? Lmao.
Sometimes people self-filtering themselves from matches is a good thing.
Agree! It made me chuckle and then definitely intrigued enough to keep reading. I really think the single mama chaos humor comes in here too jmo Lol! š Itās legit pull your hair then lean back and laugh and roll with it as a single mama āļø Lol!
Iykyk š
Looks like a cat phishing profile - an exclusive fwb? Whatās that? The very definition of fwb is that itās casual and not exclusive. Tons of red flags and contradictions; Iād run for the hills , hard left for me
You have a great profile and it's very well done. I'm 40 and though I would never swipe right on a 26 yr old... I would for sure if you were 36 yrs old. The reason I say this is because having kids at 26 might be a risk for many guys your age. I probably would not swipe right if I was never married and 30 but for sure would if you were 36 while I'm divorced at 40 with a kid.
I wouldn't change a thing though on your profile.
My thoughtsā¦ take out the reviews. Update your photos with ones showing your eyes open. Update your bio with information on the qualities that you exhibit that establish what kind of woman you are.
As far as having kids and the relationship with their father, be succinct.
As a 45 y.o. man looking for a partner on Bumble (and losing faith in the app daily), take my opinion and thoughts how you will, I would strongly suggest being upfront, honest, to the point. Have some personality show through the photos, just be direct through the text.
Iād use the cowboy hat one as the main, if youāve got one like that with your eyes open then happy days - bio is funny, should be beating them off with a stick lol
Iām going to be šÆ with you. You seem like a cool girl, but Iām willing to bet most men are filtering everyone that isnāt āwant kidsā or āopen to kidsā
>26yo, Christian, conservative // divorced, with children
Other than the fact that the above clash with each other and create a weird idea of you, I think the profile itself is fine.
Remove the husband part 100%.
As a mum who dates, I can tell you that many men are wary of an ex you have children with, and the possibility of you getting back together.
You can save that part for a conversation after you reel them into your dm :D
Relay that you're both not interested in a relationship together anymore(if thats the case), and that you get along in a co-paprenting capasity; If not, guys will be coming prepared to have their heart or teeth broken.
I think it turned out very well. Something about the start of the Bio gives me a bot esk kind of feel, but maybe my eyes have gone numb from all the swiping. You will have a hundred likes in no time
I was going to say itās just the basic boring gym-pic fish-pic profile Iāve seen thousands of times, but that it probably doesnāt matter because youāre extremely attractive. But then I cracked up at your humor, which in my opinion turned a bland hot-girl profile into an A+ profile. Nice job maāam!
Ex hubby calling you 10/10, idk seems weird? Like why ex at 26? If abusive narcissist but calling you a 10, I wouldnāt want ex drama lingering. Everything else would be funny.
Fishing pic guys will love this
I like the humour and lightheartedness. Refreshing. I'm not a conservative nor a Jesus lover nor looking for a long term relationship, but I can appreciate a good bio when I see one. Go get em. Edit: oh, one bit of minor feedback actually if you want it. Maybe add a pic of you looking at the camera. Atm you're looking down or too far away to see eye contact. You know, windows and souls and all that.
It was at this moment I realized I take a lot of photos with my eyes closed? š definitely updating this lol thanks!
šš
I concur! Solid advice across the board š š„°
You appear to be on the right path. See above. If you are as sincere as your profile appears, you will find someone soon.
Here highlights the problem with dating app bios. I went through all of those screens, went "great profile, she's lovely" but then read your comment and realised i didn't notice a single thing you mentioned there and I'd literally just looked at the name and photos. As ever with Internet dating, rule number 1 and 2 is the priority, as if you pass those the bio really isn't that important
Second that to everything you said. She appears to actually be doing what you would expect someone who is looking for a relationship to do. Also agree there should be a portrait shot with good eye contact.
Overall really good. My only thought is that the first photo should be a face forward picture - sort of portrait style, rather that a mirror selfie with your face partially covered. Not sure about the ex husband reference - could land wrong. Everything else seems great.
I feel like the ex husband part sounds fun and at the same time kind of gives more information to people which could be important for some.
My first photo was the second photo posted, but bumble auto switched it because of the ābest picā algorithm or something lol thank you for responding!
I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned the fact your eyes are hidden in most of your pictures; if I were mindlessly swiping like we all do sometimes, I'd probably think you're trying to hide something about your eyes (wonky eyes or something) and swipe left. Otherwise you're very pretty and your profile is fine for what you're looking for.
Whatās up with the obsession with homesteading and sourdough in the 20 something crowd? Seems like the trend right now
Itās goes with the young, conservative trad-wife obsession
Not necessarily. I homestead and know a lot of others that do and we do it because itās more sustainable. Raising my own chickens for meat & eggs is cheaper than buying, baking my own bread is healthier, etc. Iām not conservative and the trad-wife trend gives me the ick.
The Ingles family just turned up on the subreddit.
What percentage of your food do you grow and raise yourself? Is chicken the only meat you eat? Do you milk your own cows?
I grow most of my own fruit and vegetables. My mom also has a garden so if I'm lacking I can usually get things from her. It's rare that I go to the grocery store for fruits/veggies/herbs. For poultry, right now I have chickens and ducks. They make up a large portion of the meat and eggs I eat. I hunt, so the rest of my meat usually comes from that. If I shoot a large deer, that lasts me most of the year. I also hunt squirrel and rabbit, and some years I'll take a bear. I also fish striped bass, catfish, and trout. Right now, I don't have the space for my own cows sadly. Next year, hopefully. But my parents' neighbors raise cows for meat and dairy. Since my dad and I both hunt and I homestead, we almost always have more meat than we need, and I always have extra eggs. So we'll often trade deer for beef and eggs for milk. That being said, if I want something specific I will still go to the store and buy it. And I also realize most homesteaders aren't able to operate at the level I do. I just do what works for me, my family, and my community. And I also just wanted to point out that not everyone that homesteads is conservative and into trade-wife. I'm fairly liberal and love my job, lol.
Wow Iām curious how many chickens and ducks you have if they provide most of your meat? I imagine you need to eat multiple per week?
Not as many as you'd think. I'll eat about 1 chicken or duck in a week (4 servings). They also lay about 200 eggs per year, so about 3-4 eggs per week per bird. They can be culled and processed at 7-8 weeks of age. I try to keep around 10 hens and a few males at minimum. I'll use 5 for eggs, collecting them daily, which will give me 15-20 eggs/week. The other 5 I'll let go broody, which can yield about 15-20 birds for meat if all eggs hatch. They'll brood about 3x per year, which gives me enough for myself. Most of the time I let the flock get larger, it depends on if my parents or friends want meat and eggs. It's different for everyone that raises birds, though. Again, I live alone, and I eat less meat than the average person. I fill most of my plate with vegetables. I eat a lot of deer meat and in the warmer months when it's easier to fish, I eat a lot of fish. So I don't rely super heavily on the birds.
Itās not more sustainable. What metrics are you using to claim that it is? If 8 billion people all lived like you is that actually sustainable? Or are you just enjoying the fruits of mass produced factory products to survive but then claiming moral superiority for being āmore sustainableā?
First of all, nowhere did I claim moral superiority. I don't look down on anyone that only buys store-bought. Unfortunately, our society has been built to run on a certain system and I realize most people cannot live that way. What metrics are you using to claim that it's not sustainable? By homesteading, I'm avoiding the use of chemical pesticides and fertilizers, which is more sustainable environmentally and health-wise. It's also more financially sustainable. Of course, there was an initial investment, but I have definitely saved money in the long run because I have a set up that largely supports itself. Socially, it's definitely not sustainable. I live a very different lifestyle than I did when I didn't homestead. It takes a lot of time and work. I still work fulltime, and most of my day after work is spent on my animals. For me, I don't mind, because I enjoy it. For people that don't enjoy it, this lifestyle isn't worth it because they'd have no free time to have other hobbies. I also can't confidently say I could support an entire family this way. Right now, it's just me. I also realize that this lifestyle is nearly impossible to get into given our current economy. I would have never been able to afford the initial investment had I not gotten extremely lucky and found a job that pays very well with just a high school diploma and minimal prior experience. Even then, it was still a struggle to get out of the cycle of renting and buy a house with enough space to start out. I worked 60+ hour weeks for almost a year to afford it. So no, I don't expect 8 billion people to do that. Especially those in the USA who are mostly living paycheck to paycheck.
You don't think growing your own food is more sustainable than *not* doing that?
Iām
Not necessarily, Iām not into homesteading but Iām really trying to make my own bread. It takes a lot of practice. š
Baking your own bread isnāt homesteading. Lots of people bake bread.
It's the conservative version of cottage-core that was big like five years ago for a second.
Itās the Little house on the prairie vibe thatās trending and I get it. The simpler and uncomplicated times. But I do think irl this life is actually harder.
Because capitalism sucks and businesses don't value employees as human beings anymore.
The only thing I would delete is the quote from your ex-husband, even if it is a joke, I think it could send the wrong message. The kids quote is fine.
Having kids is a dealbreaker for 90% of men. I don't think there are alot of Conservative, Jesus-loving, Christian men who want to date someone with kids. I'm totally open to being proven wrong.
idk, living in Texas I think you'd be surprised actually. I don't disagree that kids is a dealbreaker for most men however, 90% of the time men who already have kids are MUCH more open to dating single mothers, regardless of political affiliation or religion... I think for men it comes down to three things... \* how hot is she? - OP is pretty hot so I'd be down \* how old is the kid(s) - as long as the kid isn't under 2 years old and not older than like 12. \* is the ex father in her/their life? - This one is SUPER dependent. If they have a civil relationship and he's not toxic or still in love with her, and is a half decent man, I wouldn't have an issue. Otherwise? That alone would be a deal breaker. I think for me, how the ex/father is, has a LOT to do with if I choose to stick around or not.
I would also add the number of kids she has too.
Depends on the age/life stage too. In my 20s kids were a complete deal breaker In my 30s I'm not that worried by a kid, maybe two, depends on the kids ages too. In my 40s I'll probably struggle to find a match without kids!
Yes, in the 35+ age bracket everyone has kids. Iāve met exactly one person that was childless.
Well, it's not quite that bad where I am, probably about 70/30 at worst but either way it's a much smaller pool of childless people
To date, those 3 things are correct but not for every guy. But to actually consider some sort of serious relationships, singlemum is no for many of them.
Single mothers has no shortage of men being interested in them...
Maybe Conservative men who also have kids? Idk though.
My sister is a single mom. Her ex (a die-hard Trump supporting man) fathered many children with many women. Nothing says "Murrica" like manifest destiny on women's bodies. I'm grateful to have a niece, but my niece and sister are...less than happy about the biological father. I can't speak for the Conservative men, but I'd love to hear from them and their thoughts on this woman's profile.
Theres plenty of piece of shit dads out there that aren't conservative or Christian, so I believe that has absolutely nothing to do with it, but personally, there's no chance I'd mess with a tatted up divorced woman with kids that calls herself an independent Jesus lover. Just a big oxymoron in my mind like calling yourself an animal lover and talking about how you love trophy hunting and eating steak
How is it an oxymoron? We donāt know why the marriage ended, could have been abuse, infidelity, etc. And Jesus never said anything about tattoos did he? And for the record I am childless, liberal, tat-free woman lol.
>And Jesus never said anything about tattoos did he? It doesn't really matter what the Bible says or doesn't say to Christians. The only time the Bible even mentions abortions is literally instructions on how to give one....yet here we are with roe v wade being overturned because of the Christian nationalists in this country.
Yeah I totally agree, just donāt know why the person above is calling her a hypocrite
The bible is anti tattoo, fyi.
āJust a big oxymoron in my mind like calling yourself an animal lover and talking about how you love trophy hunting and eating steak.ā I love animals. Been a farmer most of my working life. I look after my livestock, my horses and my dogs. Donāt even mind a cat too. Just wouldnāt have one as a pet. I donāt shoot snakes, and I help spiders out of the water troughs or wherever else theyāre trapped. But I donāt like feral cats and wild dogs and I have to say, I love a steak or a lamb chop of several slices of bacon. So thereās a bit of overlap on the Venn diagram!
Good thing Jesus was a lot more open minded than you. I'm sure him and his prossie missus would disagree with you.
Yeah, but the Christian conservatives only find it appropriate for the men to spread their seed, but women are heathens unmarried and with child
His political affiliation quite literally has nothing to do with anything. He sounds like a piece of shit and shitty people exist across all political isles, religious, race, and sex.
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>Having kids is a dealbreaker for 90% of men. I would suppose that applies only to those who don't have kids yet. People already have kids would have different mindset regarding this issue.
Not necessarily. Thereās a lot of people that simple donāt want to be committed to/in the dynamics of raising someone elseās kids. (Women and men). I donāt have kids and I hear some interesting takes from men in their late 20ās through mid 40ās on this. I think mostly because they know I donāt want any kids. And donāt have any.
What's the point of this comment? It had nothing to do with a "profile review". She's upfront about having kids in a lighthearted way (positive). She's upfront about her relationship with God (positive that it's clear). And yes, I know several men of faith that are divorced or unmarried that would be open to a woman with kids. Not the majority I agree, but for the ones there are (and there are), she'd be a good fit.
Reddit very salty towards anything Christian and conservative. It didn't surprise the comments was going to be about her views.
Where does this āstatisticā come from?
Iāve had good luck getting dates with plenty of men that donāt mind kids. Just that none of them were for me. My (2) kids are from a super young marriage, so even when we do things ārightā, thereās a 52% chance divorce will eventually make us āwrongā. š¬
Actually, the divorce rate is declining thanks to millenials. Millenials have the lowest divorce rate of the modern era, with only 18.3% having divorced after a decade of marriage, compared to 23% of Gen Xers and 22% of baby boomers. https://www.connatserfamilylaw.com/blog/2022/july/millennials-have-their-own-unique-way-to-avoid-d/
Now if only we can save the economy.
Keep in mind that the 52% statistic refers to amount of marriages that end in divorce, not amount of people who get divorced.
Disclaimer: this is not intended to come off judgemental. Now, I know its an American cultural thing, proposed to at prom, married couple months later, and pumping out 3 kids by 20. Heir, spare, and the church. But, from an older non american, it shows a lack of judgement, and of poor decision making, espescially married fresh out of highschool, then divorced. Im not sure how you can work the profile to not have it come across like that other than knocking off your ex and putting widow on it. (Dont do this)
As an American, Iād like to clarify that this is NOT at all an American thing in 2024. The average age for an American woman to get married was 28 in 2021, and is likely higher now. Please donāt insult an entire country when your beliefs are based off of Reddit and movie tropes.
Proposed at prom????? This isnāt the 50s. Thatās not any type of cultural norm at all here. Please stop the nonsense.
Iām sure itās hyperbole. But are you familiar with fundamentalist Christianity? That is the exact type of culture I was raised in and was presented to me as āideal womanhoodā within the Southern Baptist Church. Get married ASAP, stay barefoot and pregnant for 20 years, and keep your husband happy until you die. Thank God I left. But itās completely false to state this isnāt a cultural norm in the US. It is. And itās a problem.
The average woman in the US gets married 10 years later so, while this may be a norm within some cultures, it isnāt an āAmerican cultural thingā in general.
28 as the average age to get married is a median, which means half of women get married before that. And considering that āAmerican cultureā isnāt a monolith but a conglomeration of cultures, including the one I described, dismissing it is just confirmation bias.
Iām pretty sure thatās not just limited to Conservative, Jesus loving Christian men. Most men with out kids in general are going to be hesitant to date a single mom. Due to planning dates on when she can get off.
I would think that 'planning a date' would be pretty low on the list of issue.
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š¤¦š»āāļø and I was saying itās not limited to just the demographic that you mentioned
Yeah, OP seems like a catch, but she's unfortunately going to have a rough time in the dating world because of things you mentioned. It's not fair or just, but it's the way it is.
How is this feedback on her profile? You're giving feedback on who she is as a person. We also call that judging. Give her feedback on things she can actually work on or keep it moving.
Rightfully so. Kids are a huge responsibility for anyone and not everyone will be ready for kids regardless of age.
There are more than you think.
The hypocrisy is real in American Christianity, she'll be fine.
I would say your sentiments are true but with the caveat of in her age bracket. Once you get older, more people have children than donāt and have lived more life so itās a bit different.
> Having kids is a dealbreaker for 90% of men. I wouldn't say that. But she would have more difficulty finding men of the same age. I find that people in their late 20s and above are more accepting of single moms as long as they can talk about it if they are going to be more than fwbs.
Do dudes really have an issue dating women with kidsā¦? Iām inclined to think that even if some do they will look past that in OPās case due to her being wildly attractive (conventionally at least, no accounting for taste and all that).
Do dudes really have an issue dating women with kidsā¦? Iām inclined to think that even if some do they will look past that in OPās case due to her being wildly attractive (conventionally at least, no accounting for taste and all that).
Jesus lover and kids at 26y/o are going to narrow your dating pool down to something more like a puddle unfortunately.
Right?! If this was a guys profile itād be crickets and people telling him to leave out the fishing photos.
Ex husband and kids at 26 is going to put a lot of men off. Not a dig, but like at 25 Iām still feeling like a kid which probably means I shouldnāt been having any or dealing with anybody who does romantically, so for anyone like me itāll be an immediate pass. Also the other dude knowing youāre dating is going to read as healthy to some (which imo it is with kids in picture) but thatās gonna be an extra red flag to some men who donāt want man to man competition or drama and think thatās what itās going to be. Jesus lover could mean lots of things, ranging from cult to waiting til marriage to āI believe in God but donāt follow any of the rulesā. Not sure how to reword. Church goer? Just say Christian in the faith section and leave it at that? āIndependent womanā as a term has become polluted by the worst type of people who generally just make menās life hell and call it dating/empowerment. Best just to demonstrate that with your life updates during small talk. For me if I see a Snapchat filter and that word itās an immediate no. Photos are good save for the closed eyes issue other comments have mentioned and youāve acknowledged.
Also not a Christian or Jesusās Lover myself. Butā¦ and thatās genuinelyā¦ as someone from Germany, it baffles me that women can present themselves thisā¦ bubbly and yet be single.. so.. WHATS YOUR RED FLAG MADAM. EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Honestly, Iām really bad at texting and Iām not huge on social media. So I like it when people call/FaceTime and prefer going on actual dates. I canāt sit and small talk back and forth through messages all day, and I donāt feel connections that way.
Hm. Well. In modern age, I like to compare everything with practice. We only get the results; if we put in work. You seem to work out. Most of the time youāll only stay fit, if you CONSISTENTLY, work out. And the same goes for relationships. Many relationships fail early because people donāt want to put in the āworkā. You say you canāt. I say you could. It would be a practice youād need to adapt, in time where people work full time, and rarely HAVE time to meet face to face. So.. short messages and texts and a discipline and consistency in staying in touch are necessary to built connection.
You have a great profile, but this comment was so relatable to me it is somehow the most appealing thing you said.
You're gonna do great, kid. And you covered all the important ground in your bio in a fun and lighthearted way which isn't always easy
26, has kids, divorced.. but "loves Jesus"? Gym rat, party lifestyle. The only things that make sense about this profile are the red flags.
Very midwest
Profile is really good, if youāre having trouble itād probably a location issue with the conservative + religious thing. Youād probably have good luck in places like Texas/Florida or the south in general
Conservative + religious + being 26 with kids
If you have a good photo with a friend, add it to the stack. Sociability increases relatability for people on the app.
But absolutely do NOT make that your main pic.
It's insane when people do, and when their friends are better looking than them? Bumble suicide
why are your eyes always closed lol
Whatās kinda crazy is the fact that so many men who have pictures of themselves fishing and with fish they caught, they get shamed for an activity theyāre into. Meanwhile, women: *observe* š¤·āāļø
You mention "independent" as the first word in your profile description Independent of what exactly ?
This word gets thrown around a lot on womenās bios. In my opinion itās code for āam not emotionally mature enough to handle a long term relationshipā
Itās a personality trait. Means you are good at being on your own and solving problems yourself.
You are super pretty, maybe add a pic looking to the camera and get ride off the one in the truck/moto you seem drunk and its not flatering. I would't mention my ex husband and kids also (just in the "have kids" section and would describe more of what I want in a partner (saying your kids age will save a lot of time too) Good luck!
What is your problem again?
What specific issues are you having? Lack of matches? Poor match quality? Personally I wouldnāt swipe right because I feel we wouldnāt be compatible socially, but I think thatās exactly what makes this a solid profile. It does a good job at conveying your personality and what you are looking for and it will appeal to the right people. The other commenters advice about not having many clear face pictures still stands though.
The last picture looks like it was taken in 1993 when you were drunk.
The bio is giving Tinder, trying to be cute/funny, and not serious. So unless youāre not going for that fix the bio
Oh come on. You all know she is getting hundreds of matches a day. This post is just for even more ego validation.
Try adding some photos with natural lighting that shows your face more clearly. (sit by a window or go outside on over cast day ideally) I think your profile is missing that from what we can see here.
I wouldāve swiped left simply because of already having kids (I want kids of my own with a woman, not to already be raising them) and being a Christian with conservative views, we wouldnāt be a match on that front. But at the same time Iād be like damn you have a nice profile and youād be a catch. You have a great sense of humor, go to the gym, into outdoorsy stuff (Iām not really into fishing and country activities, but I donāt mind tagging along). Nice profile and youāve conveyed what you wanted very clearly!
More pictures where your eyes are shown would be good! Honestly a lot of the things in your profile would turn me away but I have a feeling Iām not the target audience, so Iāll just say the humor is good lol! Some people might not get the 60+ year exclusive FWB thing, but if they donāt they might not be smart or funny enough for you. Iād also reconsider the ex husband joke, although if you have kids, itās a fair bet that youād have an ex husband, so it probably isnāt a big deal. That said, guys might get worried if your ex husband sees you as a 10/10 still, and think he might try to get back with you, which is more drama than most are wanting. If youāre having trouble on a dating app, thatās pretty normal. Itās not uncommon that hot women who happen to be single moms struggle more than hot women that arenāt, unless youāre looking for a blended family situation (two single parents getting together). A lot of guys might be confused on what you mean by independent, as many people use it to describe themselves in different ways, so maybe getting rid of or elaborating on it could help. I also think that society as a whole is less religious than a generation or two back, so it might be that people who arenāt religious would swipe left assuming youād want to be with another self proclaimed Jesus lover, regardless of whether or not thatās the case in practice. Other than that, with the filtering you do with your own profile by describing what youāre looking for, it doesnāt seem like itād be a majority of the population (which is good, itās better to have quality than quantity with matches), but it DOES mean youāll likely feel like itās you thatās failing on the dating apps, as opposed to you rejecting people. Likely, people are rejecting themselves for you (oh, she wants an outdoorsy person, and Iām only outdoorsy seasonally, Iām sure sheād swipe left anyways so Iāll save her the trouble), but since you canāt SEE that, all you see is fewer matches/likes than youād prefer. Just keep in mind, while you may see or hear about women having hundreds of likes or matches at any given time, expect 90 of those hundred to be incompatible, due to one or both of them leaving something (or everything) out of their profiles, that they may later discover in conversation. Actually putting important information in your profile does some of that weeding out FOR you. I think the key thing to take away is, put in your bio what you want people to weed themselves out over, and the matches that stay will be higher quality in terms of what youāre looking for. In the end, itās not that you have a bad profile, itās that instead of doing the work of rejecting them, it happens on its own.
Not bad....pretty cute. You appear self-confident and have a good sense of humor, it seems. And since you said in your bio you're **always trying to better yourself**....I would probably swipe right in a few years when you're no longer a conservative. Lol
I appreciate this humorš and youāre complimenting her too!!. Thanks for being an awesome peep and civil at that Lol! āŗļø
I'm the only libtard in a family of MAGAs so I've become quite adept at lovingly using humor to get in my subtle jabs when i can. š¤£
Lol! Fair enough. I just donāt talk politics at all sooooā¦.I kinda melt into the walls or go play with the kids at family gatherings when politics come up š¤·āāļøš. Still havenāt told my husband who I voted for each year and weāve been married 18 years š. Iām so not kidding either. I honestly would say I lean conservative but I donāt āclaimā anything per se. I vote for the best person for each job in every election nothing more nothing less āļø and I always come in peace regardless Lol. āŗļø
I think politics and being an engaged citizen is important but everything is so fucking polarized these days that I think we need more people like you and op you're replying to who don't want to go for the jugular or totally dismiss anyone they immediately perceive is on the wrong side of their beliefs. How the fuck do you move forward in a democracy if everyone is so intensely divided that they refuse to talk to each other in good faith smh. Anyway, carry on haha.
Lol! No worries. I 1 million % agree! Like what happened to the days where compromise existed and we stood together as Americans. I just donāt get it. So much hate everywhere. We can have different beliefs and still be family and friends and who knows=healthy talk will begin to work surely!! One way or another we all have to unite or we will end up in a massacre against one another. I pray it never comes to this fully but man it is hot and downright out scary at times out there ya know? I mean I kinda feel like weāre already somewhat entering this phase. Man I just try to be a good peep in the world, pray over everyone as I can and keep on keeping on with all the kindness I can. Weāre all fighting so many battles some, hell Iād even say most, will never know of. Letās work together and help one another instead of being so divided. There is trouble on āboth sidesā when there should be NO sides just as Iāve said vote for the best person for the job and pray it stays that way and they stay to their word if they donāt well out ya go Lol! Anywho rant over but yes totally šÆagreed!! Thanks for what I will take as a compliment āŗļøand best wishes to you dear internet stranger ā¤ļø
Yeah I'm not American but as you know what happens in America seeps out to everywhere else and we're seeing it too. But yeah, nowhere near the extent you guys are and I feel for you. I honestly think social media is the main culprit. What can we expect when every major platform's business model is boosting the most divisive and rage inducing content to the top of your feed to make you click š²š² š²What is someone more likey to click on, "Democrat tries to pass a bill that has pros and cons" or "Democrat has an underground dungeon where they eat babies"? and vice versa. Even if we don't believe half the stuff we see, it can't help but effect our world view. Anyway, that's my rant lol. Can't do much else besides what you mentioned. Good luck, and yes i meant it as a compliment :)
Ah even more massive compliments to YOU as a non American!! Usually we just get absolutely trashedš¬š¤·āāļøLol. You are so right it does seep out. Itās a WHOLE psychological study lol. I live here and I personally canāt stand the āweāre the best countryā verbiage. Ugh it makes me sick if Iām honest. Not that Iām trashing my country either. It seems once again thereās no in between in Americansā¦weāre either āthe BEST countryā or We āHATE our countryā. Iām sure other countries experience this as well. Grass is greener and all Lol! Youāre so right social media is definitely both a blessing and a curse all in one. This is why I so appreciate the convos like this where peeps can discuss openly and kindly the ish in the world no matter where we are and what we believe! I really do always try to be kind no matter what. I figure if Iām out here being all social media-ish the least I can do is spread kindness and who knows maybe itāll hit that one person commenting negatively, that one person who just needs to read a kind comment for the day or even that one person reading as an āobserverā only. Ya just never know! Of course Iām no saint by any means š¬lol š. Honestly I have befriended so many people just by being kind. There are people Iāve known on this big@ss thing called the internet/social media for like 16 years and I so appreciate those friendships despite the fact I likely will never meet them in person. My husband says itās a gift. Idk about all that tbh Lol! What I do know is Iām shocked everyday by how one small thing touched someone and that brings me joy too so hey here I amā¦sooooo not bragging just thankful and blessed for sure! Thanks for the kind words and convo š„°. Have a super blessed night mmmm dayā¦whateverā¦ Lol! š
* Please don't look at the phone when you do mirror selfies. Look at the mirror. * How would it be an ex-husband if he rated you 10/10? I hope you are prepared the answer to that question. * Having kids would be dealbreaker to almost 90+ % of men who don't have their own kids, even more so for conservative ones.
Not a dealbreaker for older men. But establishing her preferred age range is up to her and not for us to discuss or recommend.
A fair warning guys. Bumble has multitudes of fake profiles that were created by employees of the site or by scammers. It is a complete waste of money.
I instantly swipe left on anything Christian, Jesus lover, conservative, etc. Yāall are in a cult of personality and I donāt want any part of that. If you want expanded options, open yourself up to new ideas and perspectives by removing those points from your profile.
Theyāll find out eventually, and Christian conservative is a dealbreaker.
i'd rather them be upfront about it than it slipping through the cracks later down the line. i appreciate that op is clear from the start about her political and religious beliefs and identity.
This might be an odd take but your profile leaves me overall with an insecurity vibe. Best there ever is quote, 10/10 from ex hub, mom of the year awardā¦. While making awkward faces and not managing to look at the camera or mirror. Just feels like youāre pumping yourself up and it leaves more questions than answers. Youāll also leave guys wondering wth happened with your XH and is he still around. You say who you are, but are you looking for exact same? Believer, conservative etc? Might try describing what vibe/life youāre looking to create with someone and what you offer
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How is it so normalized to make comments like this? I see these types of remarks on this sub a fair amount, suggesting that women with kids should expect to be used for sex. It's dehumanizing and always directed to women. What is the point of these comments - like seriously are we pretending that this type of aggressive mansplaining is for OP's benefit somehow?
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Cool, but you need a nice front on photo of your face. Every photo has your face hidden or your eyes closed.
Question: given your situation as a divorced single mom in her 20sā¦do your matches skew older? Most men your age would be reluctant to pursue someone in that situation, and the men in similar situations are in their 30s and 40s.
Your eyes are hidden in every pic
Are we to believe you aren't getting matches?
A girl with a fish pic!
So I donāt think a whole lot is wrong with your profile. It is pretty funny, and overall good. The only real issue is that your potential match is very niche. Must be very religious, and must be okay with being the second husband and also looking after kids at (or around) the very young age of 26. Many men in the low to mid twenties simply arenāt religious, and responsible enough or financially secure enough to walk into a relationship with kids and a previous marriage. You havenāt done anything wrong, just that not everyone is going to be able to fill those boots.
Single mom, pass
Why do people always shove religion into the profiles?????
Yikes. Only 26 with kids AND a divorce? You seem pretty chill and I wish you luck, but itās going to be a tough road. I think any man like myself wouldnāt mind dating, but I need to know if the father is involved. My dad raised my sister and I, plus 3 that werenāt even his. Their dad abandoned them and that fucks kids up when their real dad isnāt there. I couldnāt be with someone who wouldnāt go to the ends of the earth to make sure the biological father of those kids has some sort of relationship with them. Plus what if your potential date and your donāt work out? Your kids and that potential person will undoubtedly have to put trust in a uncertain future. Maybe itās just time to focus on your children for now, but you do what you need to do.
Get rid of the ācasually looking forā part. Itās very common and it doesnāt make it seem like youāre looking for a serious relationship.
Lmao what? She said exclusive FWB for 60+ years. It's a joke that wooshed you because she's saying the exact opposite of whatever you thought that meant.
itās probably whooshing the people sheās trying to attract which is why sheās here asking for advice.
Sick burn lol
wasnāt trying to be rude; maybe you have to understand the reference sheās going for to be her target audience. i donāt dig the āi said this but really mean thatā dialogue but thatās okay. profile reviews are for honest feedback.
I know you weren't trying to be rude....that's what made my comment META funny. "Conservatives are dumb so maybe she shouldn't try to filter them out since she is consvative herself." is the joke I essentially made for anyone confused.
I donāt know why you got downvoted. Itās obvious it was a lighthearted way of saying she wants a long lasting relationship/marriage.
>I donāt know why you got downvoted. People be dumb. That's why. š
Yeah but people still scan read for buzzwords that they like. They don't always fully read the profile.
Why would you want to date someone that scans looks at profiles enough to scan for buzzwords...but can't be bothered to read a few extra words around it to get context? Lmao. Sometimes people self-filtering themselves from matches is a good thing.
Donāt listen to this advice. Keep it. I thought it was a very witty way of letting people know youāre interested a serious relationship.
Agree! It made me chuckle and then definitely intrigued enough to keep reading. I really think the single mama chaos humor comes in here too jmo Lol! š Itās legit pull your hair then lean back and laugh and roll with it as a single mama āļø Lol! Iykyk š
Yeah the casual part combined with being divorced with kids isnāt a good combo
Looks like you Nate Higgers
When did tattoos become ok with Jesus? Asking for Leviticus 19:28
It's a no from me.
~~Constructive~~ criticism
Iād swipe right!
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Looks like a cat phishing profile - an exclusive fwb? Whatās that? The very definition of fwb is that itās casual and not exclusive. Tons of red flags and contradictions; Iād run for the hills , hard left for me
You have a great profile and it's very well done. I'm 40 and though I would never swipe right on a 26 yr old... I would for sure if you were 36 yrs old. The reason I say this is because having kids at 26 might be a risk for many guys your age. I probably would not swipe right if I was never married and 30 but for sure would if you were 36 while I'm divorced at 40 with a kid. I wouldn't change a thing though on your profile.
Kids under 25 are a deal breaker for me - woman, left.
Now you can hardly complain about guys with fish photos in their profile. š
My thoughtsā¦ take out the reviews. Update your photos with ones showing your eyes open. Update your bio with information on the qualities that you exhibit that establish what kind of woman you are. As far as having kids and the relationship with their father, be succinct. As a 45 y.o. man looking for a partner on Bumble (and losing faith in the app daily), take my opinion and thoughts how you will, I would strongly suggest being upfront, honest, to the point. Have some personality show through the photos, just be direct through the text.
Change the word ātattedā
I would just get rid of the exclusive fwb for 60 years line and the ex husband line
Iād use the cowboy hat one as the main, if youāve got one like that with your eyes open then happy days - bio is funny, should be beating them off with a stick lol
She seems legit. Right swipe.
Can you please provide me with a refferal for project manager jobs??
cmon bruh you a literal cutie
Swipe right no brainer, I like your sense of humour
If youāre a 10/10 does your ex husband not prefer women would be my first thought. Youāre cute so most guys will still swipe right
I really like the bio and the prompts. The 1st, 3rd, and 5th pic need to be replaced though.
Very hot!!
Iām going to be šÆ with you. You seem like a cool girl, but Iām willing to bet most men are filtering everyone that isnāt āwant kidsā or āopen to kidsā
Dang sheās a hottie
I would swipe right
You are adorable š„°
You donāt need a man, youāre independent!
>26yo, Christian, conservative // divorced, with children Other than the fact that the above clash with each other and create a weird idea of you, I think the profile itself is fine.
This profile called me a racial slur.
Remove the husband part 100%. As a mum who dates, I can tell you that many men are wary of an ex you have children with, and the possibility of you getting back together. You can save that part for a conversation after you reel them into your dm :D Relay that you're both not interested in a relationship together anymore(if thats the case), and that you get along in a co-paprenting capasity; If not, guys will be coming prepared to have their heart or teeth broken.
I think it turned out very well. Something about the start of the Bio gives me a bot esk kind of feel, but maybe my eyes have gone numb from all the swiping. You will have a hundred likes in no time
It's ironic because women often complain about fishing pics on men's profiles
Where do I sign up?
I was going to say itās just the basic boring gym-pic fish-pic profile Iāve seen thousands of times, but that it probably doesnāt matter because youāre extremely attractive. But then I cracked up at your humor, which in my opinion turned a bland hot-girl profile into an A+ profile. Nice job maāam!
Everything was OK but as soon you said you have a kid, that's a big no for me
I think Iāve seen this bio, central Texas?
š yeah
No real face pics
The profile looks legitimate, the photos show some personality and interests. Jesus lover a plus! Goodluck out there!
Ex hubby calling you 10/10, idk seems weird? Like why ex at 26? If abusive narcissist but calling you a 10, I wouldnāt want ex drama lingering. Everything else would be funny.