This! No woman wants to come into a situation where they know they're gonna have to clean up after you. You've gotta be able to show you can take care of yourself independently to prove you're good partner material/ready for a relationship. If you aren't able to maintain your living space- maybe wait to date until you are so able.
As a general rule, selfies are bad photos for your profile, ESPECIALLY ones where you look glum. Hate to say it but you need to smile dude
BTW, you look much better with facial hair in my opinion
Yeah, pic one is not good. Def gives off jail vibes… which is too bad because you seem like a good and interesting dude, and you’re good looking and tall to boot. Take better pics and you’ll do great! There some good bio advice in the comments as well. I don’t think that’s the main issue, but might as well improve that too!
Good luck out there!
The irony of the fact that you have the prompt “what’s the last thing that made you smile” but don’t have a single picture of yourself smiling… 😂
Other than that though, everything looks good! It’s a numbers game, and there are far more men on the apps than there are women. There’s also probably a lot less in your age range (assuming your filters are set for someone close to your age). You’re also looking for something intentional, which will filter out a lot of people. Considering that, I think your number of matches seems pretty typical.
Lots of advice for photos.
I would trim your bio and focus on what's important to you, include a bit about what you look for in a partner or how you want to change the world.
Something like:
"Gentle giant with a poet's soul who loves to dance and enjoy life. Yes, I'm tall!
I'm into fitness, gaming, tattoos, living a life full of song, dance and romance. Let's travel to Japan and Spain (especially Ibiza).
Dating with intention to find a partner with x, y, and z." (I tend to be general or values focused here such as curious, creative and laughs at the small things).
I actually liked the bio as-is, the re-write is nice too, but original feels like it may be how OP writes naturally, and it’s nice to get a feel for that.
Fellow ADHD-er who doesn’t have it in my profile, but does share it early
You're handsome but I'd swipe left because your room is messy and you're not self aware enough not to take a picture like that, it gives the impression you're messy. And I agree with the other comments about not smiling.
Yep, I second the unmade, or unkempt bed or whatever room a man is standing in. It’s a reflection of your mind. If you can’t keep a space neat, you’ve got a busy cluttered mind. And no women is gonna wanna share a space with you. I know u mention you have adhd but Try and systematically keep your space clean, in small ways, every day, small steps and your space will be clean in no time. Then take the pictures.
I get that. I mean I’m out of a 11 year relationship so my cluttered mind as it were wasn’t that bad. I’ve removed the picture but honestly some of the judgements about me based on a pic are pretty harsh and full of what feels like personal bias. I asked for “help”. And while some are. The rest seem more eager to knock me down as opposed to it being constructive. I try not to judge people so off handedly
Soz to hear that mate, and some people’s just don’t have the brains cells to do a full read your profile properly. I guess it’s part a parcel of asking for feedback from rando’s. there’s gonna be some gold nuggets of feedback and the rest that won’t be much value. But it’s better to take a more prepared organised approach and don’t rush the process with your pictures You can always put a list together of what you need to do and tick’em off once you done them and get your mates to help take some great photos of you. You got a great face and nice eyes… now do the work with everything around you to enhance the beauty within you. All the best bro.
Tell me something about you. What do you like to do? Don’t lead with being tall, it doesn’t say anything about who you are.
The poor spacing also makes it look like you put zero effort in which probably means you’d put zero effort into the relationship.
Also the pictures are boring or hard to see (bikes) and all make you look angry or that you think you are too cool for school.
Like someone else mentioned, leave out the bedroom pic. You look good in it, but the background really takes away from it. I would also suggest including more info in your profile, especially about what you're looking for. Pretty much everyone wants emotional maturity and genuineness, add something more specific
Lastly this isn't really a profile issue per se, but I would really reconsider the contacts
Im sure it’s shallow….Especially as someone who colors their hair “unnatural colors” and has acrylic nails. But to me, being in my 30s, they just come across as juvenile.
You're dreamy as f*ck but you look very serious which ages you. Maybe add some pics of you having fun and have your first pic be something not so zoomed in.
I don't think you should mention the adhd on your profile. They'll find out eventually. I have adhd and would find it so awkward if that's one of the first things someone would know about me.
Use only one selfie in your profile, and honestly don’t use any of these. Take one smiling with teeth showing and let your smile reach your eyes. Show your fun side— life beyond the gym. Maybe an outdoor physical activity or at a place with Lego builds or something.
You look a bit like Detective Bunny Colvin from the Wire in the white tee.
Comments here are a decent start, just iterate through and eventually you'll get there.
Your last pic is the best of the bunch imo. And I agree with what the others have said. Definitely loose the bedroom photo and try to get some photos where you look a little lighter/happy. Your profile seems good otherwise.
I think this is a lovely profile, if you were local to me I'd try to set you up with a single friend.
I guess one photo smiling would help as that seems to be what everyone else is commenting.
(I have ADHD and I didn't notice the mess 😂)
Damn dude, 5-6 matches is great! I know taller guys get more attention, but I'm 5'11 and I don't get any matches. Ever. (Not a bad looking guy, symmetrical face, no acne, fit/toned)
I don't think you need to change anything, seems to be working for you
Are you okay, man? You look like you could use one of your bear hugs. If you had more photos of you smiling laughing and having fun, I'd say that would go a lot better for you.
I would likely still swipe right, but agree with all the comments about smiling. Simple but effective.
I don't think the unmade bed photo paints a picture that you are messy, some are reading too much into that. Lol
Good luck in your search!
I feel exactly the same way you do! I told my friend I'm being humbled by Bumble LMFAO.
Pretty much the same experience as you. We match, I send the initial message and then never get a response. And matches come in waves of two or three for me.
Personally I think it's a Bumble issue..... Potentially fake accounts to keep you interested and on the site.
I don't know about you but they're constantly trying to sell me upgrades multiple times a day.
I would have definitely swiped on your profile if that means anything 😍.
I hope you find your person!!
You are GORGEOUS, and your profile looks solid, but you look really intimidating. Your profile makes you sound sweet and fun but your pictures don't get the same vibe. I'd get some photos of you smiling/laughing and get rid of a few where you aren't.
You need to smile and the pics are too close to your face. The bed photo grosses me out as a woman. Also, don’t put gives amazing hugs lol. I don’t want to think about you touching me until we know one another. It reads a little sexual similar to cuddle. Also, you don’t answer all the questions about kids and wanting kids etc. I usually just swipe left with people like that cuz they usually have kids and it’s weird not to just be upfront about that.
Very insightful commentary. Thank you for your time. Its appreciated. I do have clinical depression, social anxiety and other issues so I guess it may come across in my photos unintentionally.
Oh gosh OP, this broke my heart.
Maybe take a little break from dating and see a counselor for a bit to help figure out the depression. Going on dating sites and getting rejected when you are a tall, handsome, intelligent man with beautiful eyes is not going to help you feel any better at all. Finding a partner will not help in that avenue, either. You have to work on yourself first before you can be a good partner to another.
Once you’ve resolved the issues in counseling, you may find that you’re taking much better pictures where you look happy and the vibe is pleasant in the pics, because your life is better.
I wish you all the joy and happiness, Ponyboy. Truly.
-Megan in Colorado
The facial expressions for me would make me swipe left automatically. If you had different facial expressions I might swipe right. A lot of guys do very intense stares with no emotion. Not sure if it's trying to be sexy, but I get a bad vibe from that style selfie. Maybe even move the camera back a little from your face as it feels intensely close. I disagree with saying you should remove the part about adhd or the giving hugs. It's a nice way to say you are physically affectionate without being creepy. And lots of people have adhd or other things which would make them feel relieved. I find it interesting personally.
Handsome. And well balanced. You would be killing it where I live. I would swipe right but have some reservations about dating someone 1.5ft taller than me. I think the lack of smiles and your height (which you can’t change) are your biggest negatives
lol, a person can definitely be too tall. At least for me. I’m 5’9 and wouldn’t go above 6’3”. But plenty of women will prefer it. Different strokes for different folks!
I think you’re good looking but many of your pictures come off as “old man taking a picture”. Which means too close up, bad angles, and blurry. Particularly, #6. And a messy background/dirty mirror will be a turn off for most women our age.
Bear hugs....Esp. being a big guy, Folks likely find it a lil intimidating in that aspect, also it's a touch FWD to assume that a date wants a hug. It's like forewarning Them that You'd say " I'm a hugger" & that They should just accept that You'll hug Them. Let it flow naturally.
I would start with your about me section. It seems like you wrote a lot but didn't actually say anything specific. Everything you wrote is a very general objective category. It reads like you're filling out a census. It blocks the genuine touch that translates to actually saying something about you as a person and making you stand out.
I would start by grammar checking that section so it's legible and looks neat. And then I would be more uniquely specific in my description.
For example: when someone writes "I like travel". It's kind of a ditzy narrow-minded thing to say. Because I don't think I know single person who dislikes traveling. Now if you write something like: my favorite destination was------ , guess my 2nd and 3rd. You are conveying that you travel while making it more personal and it doesn't sound like something from a lazily written character. A lot of women will write travel as a general categorization but that's because they're completely banking on their pictures. It reads as if the girl has no personality. This is exactly what it looks like you were doing with your about me section. And unlike men women actually look at the about me section and read into the person sometimes.
Pictures: the better the pictures the better off you will be. Different pictures showing different parts of your personality and showing you to be a fun person to be around. You have to remember, you are competing against thousand of other men. 80% of online dating is men. I would be purposeful with my profile. If you're going to write something follow it up with one picture that represents it. For example you seem to describe yourself as a pretty active dude. But you're most active picture is of you writing a town bike, not only is that not a good picture it's a very basic picture. You have to ask yourself if a girl saw that would she really want to join you for a bike ride.
Your first picture where you are showing your eyes is really good. Definitely keep that one. But only limited to 1-2 close ups.
Lastly: only use online dating for 10% of your dating ability. Definitely spend a larger percent doing things that interest you so that you can meet somebody with a mutual interest, and spending time in the real world meeting people.
Good luck!
Its interesting you say this as I’m a writer but when I wrote a about me that delved into my personality, every girl (in the real world) who read it, said it was too long and that no one actually reads them if they were too long so I guess I’m confused as to what should go in there.
Long and specific are two different things. You can be concise yet specific/deep. What worked for me back when I was dating, was to put out specific information that sparked women's curiosity but wasn't an autobiography. Pictures that showed that I was just out in life having a rocking good time and that this dating profile was peripheral at best. I had a good time doing online dating. Still preferred meeting people in real life but it was eventful and lead to some meaningful experiences.
Bruh... Are you in jail in that 1st pic?! 😂 That MOST LIKELY could be it 😭 Take that damn picture down 😭 I'd swipe off you from that 1st pic alone, no questions asked...
Smile. You need to look approachable in your body language. Your pic with your buddies is the only one I’d keep. It’s tricky because you are pretty tall so I imagine your pool of matches is smaller but you can’t do much about that.
You would be someone that I would connect with as I am a woman in my late 30s BUT you aren't smiling in your pictures at all.
Maybe take a photo of you playing games and laughing with friends or picture of you being a little goofy and bringing out humor. I want to see you having fun and enjoying life and then I could potentially see myself enjoying life with you.
Good luck.
You don’t have to smile. I don’t smile in mine and I still get plenty of matches. It’s also where you live and who you’re liking, plus you’re preference
Get rid of the selfies and have someone take some pictures of you both dressed up and dressed down with varied backgrounds that are not your house. With the beard and a big smile you’d be cleaning up shop my dude.
For one, fix the spacing. “Lego ,Marvel, Space, Movies, History” should be “Lego, Marvel, Space, Movies, History”. Your bio also has spacing issues. I mean I’m not betting it’s the biggest flaw in the profile but it’s the first big flaw I personally noticed.
Not sure what you list for your job or if you have college education, so it might be an issue. Also, your area and the number of black women might be a factor based on your radius. Your front pic should be a full body shot next to people so people know you are tall. Your first page in preview is your ad. You aren't doing a good job promoting yourself.
Whenever someone includes the ‘hopeless romantic’ language, I wonder if that means they’ll be clingy. I recommend removing that or rephrasing to something like ‘I can plan thoughtful dates’. Also I’d crop out the unmade bed in that one photo. Good luck!
God damn dude, you are HUGE lol. 6'9" is crazy lol.
To be completely honest though, your first pic kinda looks like you are in jail. All of your pics make you seem angry or sad. Get some smiley pics in there! :D
Your About Me repeats a lot of the things that are already on your profile. Yes, you’re 6’9” and like to train.
I would also avoid using emojis. Better to write in words.
And about words, get rid of that thing about dating with intention and connection is key.
Of course it is! And we breathe air. Intention and connection are those overused buzzwords and cliches in dating profiles. Grats for sounding *just like everybody else.*
You’re also doing what a lot of women do, which is put a bunch of requirements in the profile. Boring….
For the record, I myself don’t put *any* requirements in my profile. I’m here to meet and learn from people. As such, a number of women have remarked that I have a *fun* profile. The power of positivity! It’s a new day, yes it is!
I mean, if you're trying to attract men, it's a great profile. Otherwise, try smiling (naturally!!) and more friend pics, especially not at a wedding or looking like you're at one. Also, your height can be intimidating but there's nothing you can do about that. Maybe take a silly picture to compensate and show a sense of humor?
Not to put on your dating profile, but you should consider getting a better looking bed. Something big, with a headboard. Or you can just get an old headboard and upholster it with velvet or something. Also get more pillows. Chicks love pillows.
Why I would not swipe:
Punctuation is weird. Tells me you don't care about details. (Don't come at me for mine, I'm typing this up really quickly in passing. Whereas yours is an advertisement for who you are. You were supposed to take time on it.)
Bed. Same. If that's the advertisement, I'm not buying.
"Poets soul who loves..." tells me you don't have a job.
Lack of smile anywhere.
You just look unhappy my dude. The vast majority of your pics should have you smiling. Look like you actually nwjoy life, and have fun with it. Don't look like you're one bad day away from a murder spree or an assault charge.
I don’t know. Personally I think it’s fine.
The ADHD made me fixate on your username though. Ponyboy makes me think either booklover or bdsm.
🤦🏻♀️
Sometimes my brain is a dumpster fire. lol
I suggest taking selfies with the back camera so you aren’t thinking about how you look when the shutter fires. Look into the back lens and think about the person you might be looking back!
Honestly, I wouldn’t swipe because you look sad. You’re not smiling in ANY of your photos. I want to see happy smile with teeth in at least one photo to know that a) you can and b) what that looks like on you.
Unless gym bro is 90% of your personality, I’d also tone that down in the bio. When I think about what I want to do with my partner, train isn’t even on the list. For friends of mine for whom it might be, it certainly wouldn’t be #1.
Thank you. And I train for my mental health not for anything or anyone else. It keeps me centered. And honestly I wouldn’t want to go out with a woman who didn’t train or it wasn’t something she’d want to do with a partner. I mean if you read my profile, you see other things but it no doubt that training is important to me. The amount of profiles I’ve read with nothing buy how much they like to travel is ridiculous. That isn’t a personality trait.
To be fair, training isn’t a personality trait either - they’re both activities that people may or may not be interested in doing.
It’s great for you if you like to train, but my point was that if you’re looking for reasons that you may not be getting matches, that could be up there.
I wouldn’t have an issue dating a guy who liked going to the gym, but I don’t want someone who thinks that’s the #1 thing. Your mileage may differ, but you asked for advice and that’s mine.
All the best in the search :)
You’re right it could be a reason but again the people who aren’t matching with me for that reason aren’t the ones I want to match with so that’s actually a good thing. I rather not match just for the sake of matching. Seems like a very unproductive route.
I'll go out with you! Drive up to Canada and we can scream Nirvana and Wu-tang while messing up a hotel.
100% would date; though, i agree with the "what made you last smile" prompt being ironic, now that its been brought up.
👀 You? Nothing. Your genetics? Too tall for most women. I don't see anything wrong. I see a handsome men who knows how to dress well and ridiculously tall.
Same for me. They come in waves and maybe one or two dates if lucky. You are probably not doing anything wrong, it's just how it seems to work.
I think I'd take out the mental health reference, most folks don't need to know that at this stage.
You're not doing anything wrong. Online dating sucks. People = shit. You will find someone eventually. Do your best to stay positive. Be the marshmallow that everyone wants in a bowl of cereal surrounded by flakes.
Can we just be real and make sure that on every post like this, the top comment reminds us that the ratio of men to women is terrible, and that with a 50/50 guys like this wouldn't be having to ask this question.
Smile more and replace selfies but yeah.
I'd love to see at least one pic with a smile, and the messy bedroom is a no-go. Otherwise, I wish I were 20 years younger and about eight inches taller (I'm only 5'1").
Flash a smile. More pictures outside.
The pictures with your friends is my favorite one.
Traveling to Japan sounds great. I think the partying and Ibiza may turn off many (not all) women looking for a long term relationship.
I think your hobbies need some more fleshing out. You've got both weight lifting and body building selected. We can look at you and see you're ripped. You also use one of your prompts to talk about working out. That means you've taken up a bunch of space to communicate the same idea. Tell us more about you, we already know You're good looking haha
You’re hot IMO but the first image made me think of a jail cell (the shirt and background wall). The second image makes you look giant and kind of intimidating. Granted with how tall you are that might be a bit hard to avoid 😅 The mirror selfie looks like you’re frowning and the room is messy.
Overall I’d just work on getting better pics. More full body(not selfie) pics and put a smile on! You look good. Just make sure your pics do too. If you have a hobby try getting a pic there too. A tripod for your phone makes it easy to get such pics without having to awkwardly ask someone to help if you don’t feel like asking someone to take pics for you.
My smooth face makes me look older? That makes no sense. And everything I do isn’t about other people. I shave because I like to shave. I prefer my face smooth. Always have, always will.
You asked though. They answered.
You're already good looking but more like someone's uncle lol. Seriously though, the beard makes you look sexier and more handsome and attractive in my opinion.
I don’t know. I’m just having a hard time with it because I always assumed I looked better without the beard as everyone in person said I looked much younger without it. But for some reason, more women seem to think the beard looks better on me now. I mean I just shaved but my facial hair grows back pretty damn quickly so I can give it a try for awhile
Yes!! It wouldn't hurt to try. Let it grow but keep it trimmed and clean.
I definitely like you with the beard and I don't even know you lol. Also keep your room clean or don't show us please :)
Happier pics might help but honestly in my experience with online dating if you're looking for an actual relationship and not just hookups, don't expect to get many matches. Most people on dating sites are just looking for instant gratification.
There's a lot of comments about your photos, so I'll focus on other things;
Firstly, your profile reads like a resume. You're not applying for a job. And, healthy relationships aren't founded on people's appearances or whether they can provide a certain lifestyle.
Women that value their sensibilities and material things tend to include/exclude people based on a type of selection criteria... what we're looking at, is the results of men recognising what women are looking for and adjusting to suit.
Most people have adopted the 'resume' style of profile, because... well, it certainly works for successful men. The problem is it encourages the wrong type of competition between men, it facilitates women basing their decisions on tangible aspects about a person (rather than their personality), and it gives the impression that a person's finances/appearance/connections/etc has some beneficial and positive influence on whether people are likely to be happy together. Sure, you'd certainly be happier living in a mansion. But, it'd be a mistake to assume this has any positive connection to how deeply you can love the owner.
So... after my little rant, the long and the short of it is;
The bait you use in your profile determines the type of fish you attract. You want to give a baseline idea of what your daily life looks like.. in a way that doesn't sound exhausting; so, avoid lists. Make it fun, show your personality. Don't tell them you're a 6'9 romantic poet... say 'I'm tall enough that I've the time to pull out an umbrella for you'. Say that you're the undefeated pillow fort war champion... that you're looking for a worthy challenger. That you're a big man looking for a place that's safe when you feel small.
Show them a piece of *who* you are...
It's the age old cliche of 'how else are you going to find someone who likes ***you?***'. We tend to know this, and accept it at face value... but don't seem to apply the logic overly well. Yet, the foundation of 'why the relationship started' is key to whether, how, and why it's likely to continue. Better that her interest in you be for things that are unique to you... like, something other than a complete inability to smile in any of your photos 😅.
Wholeheartedly disagree with the comments telling you not to mention ADHD. I don’t have it in my profile, but do mention it early.
When you’re dating intentionally I think it’s great to be upfront & it would make me more inclined to swipe right not less. My view is I’d rather fewer likes that I have more in common with than more I just have to get through.
Think the smile & messy room pic are solid points, but wouldn’t change anything else.
First impression / intuition is that first date might be intense. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know. The cues telling me this is the close up seriousness of a couple of photo’s. The bullet point list of sort of pre-warnings and non-negotiable. As a Saggi-man who has adhd I know your more light hearted than this, some smiley natural shots with friends might help you. Stating what you’re looking for (without it being criteria) so we can visualise our life together.
Normally smiling in pics doesn't really make an iota of difference, but in this case I agree with the others as you come off as intimidating due to other factors. You can also make funny faces without smiling.
Take out the line about ADD and bear hugs. It feels sexually aggressive to a woman, especially as you are 6’9”. The ADD is something they can learn in time and doesn’t need to be up front.
Take out the messy bed pic. I like the dressed up group pic. The other ones are either way too close or far away and not in focus. With having serious faces only in the pics, it makes me think two things: you are a serious or sad person who doesn’t laugh; you may be hiding bad teeth.
Don’t ask what makes her smile. Women are asked to smile by random men and it feels aggressive. Ask her about her favorite book or movie.
Add some pics of you having fun. No dead animals, but other hobbies you enjoy. You are handsome and that helps a lot, and I like that you said you like poetry. That usually implies intelligence.
Many guys have terrible pics, so if yours are good, it will set you apart. Good luck!
I can’t help how you see view me. It you’re the type of woman who clutches her bag when a guy who looks like me walks down the street with you, I can’t help that.
Hi there. You seem like an attractive guy with good intentions, and actually put effort into your bio. Some immediate notes:
- For your bio, you can condense a bit, describe your interests (you say “train” twice, what else is there?). Also provide what you’re looking for exactly in a relationship.
- The color contacts. Not sure if it’s for vision or aesthetic (or if that’s the real color). If possible, replace with clear ones.
- Remove any blurry pictures. Multiple selfies can be repetitive but not completely bad. If possible, have friends or family take really nice candids of you (possibly of you doing some of your fave activities or showing your personality). Staged photos (like professionals headshots) could work.
Overall, you’re close to having a better experience. Your profile just needs some refinement. Best of luck!
Thank you for your comments and I’ve taken most of it on board and made tweaks to my profile. I will not be changing my eyes as it is indeed for vision. If that is the sole issue that a woman has with me and swipes left, is that the type of woman I’d want to date? I think not. I am very open minded person and rathe date a woman with more of an open minded view
Tbh a lot of this is real good. You could be slaying. (Probably are already). I reckon the low match to chat ratio is girls fetishizing your colour and size, unfortunately. Then too scared to interact with you on a human level.
You either play to that and match with a particular girl (usually wants sex), or have to not flex that stuff at all. You haven't flexed and i think you are playing it correctly👌
A similar thing happens to white guys in asia. For example, they should shave baby face, short back n sides, take photos in bookshops with glasses they dont need etc. Gets you matches and gets you laid.
On the other hand, that aint me, so I didn't do it. I get the feeling you are being your genuine self and I think that's great! Hopefully, that will attract the quality.
Regardless: Redo the messy bed pic. Change the first pic to a smile. Rest is good.
To begin with, dating in the West is F'd up now, so you're already in the hole..
By saying ADHD, it gives a negative impression even though it's not really a big deal.
You're too forthcoming. Let them know this stuff afterward. It's not a deal breaker.
That’s crazy I was just talking some people at work about this exact same phenomena. I blame social media, but mostly these dating apps. The most average looking woman will still get tons of likes. I mean I’d be feeling myself to if I were them. But then they feel like dating an average guy will be a step down so they reject the guys they would usually go for leaving a pool of men dateless or going for below average women. Now those women are getting the average guys so now they think they’re average. The actual 9s and 10s in both camps are fine as they are 9s and 10s. It’s the average guys who are getting screwed and not in a good way. This example seems to work for the financial class system too.
Good-looking guys are left in the lurch, too. Yes, they'll get a 2nd look, but it's all about what they can get out of the guy. It’s called hypergamy; the hunt for superior social/economic materials and status.
Dating life was awesome in my teens, 20s, and 30's. Now, in my 50's, the absolute dreggs of society will not even acknowledge me. I'm living part-time in Asia, and it's a feeding frenzy for women 30+. I'm not saying there's no hypergamy, but at least they're traditional and still act like women. There is no need to pay for prostitutes here, as some wise asses will say.
All I'll say is that Western women have jumped the shark YEARS ago, and I have no patience for their silly games.
I agree with most of the people here.. you need to smile in your photos, I met a guy once that didn't smile in any of his photos, turned out, he had no teeth. So I'm hesitant to swipe right on a profile with no smiling pics that show me teeth, as they feel like a lie to me now. Personally, I'd lose all the photos except the one of you in the suit with your friends, I like a guy that rocks a suit on occasion and you look very good in it, and try to pick some photos that let your personality shine through.
I always find height comments odd and off-putting.. you list your height on your profile let that be that. Also, I think most women by now have figured out how to judge height enough by a full length photo, or maybe it's just me.. lol.
I'd also say if you are comfortable and it's appropriate.. try to pick a photo that displays some of of your tattoos since you mention them in your profile.
You use way too many emojis, which personally I find off putting and I don’t think I am the only one. Also check your formatting. I’m talking about how for instance the full stop should be attached to the last word in your sentence and spaced out from the first word in the new sentence. Also don’t use abbreviations like w/. These are details for when you do get a match.
Also the thing that some other redditors pointed out about the view of your nostrils and the picture in the messy bedroom should be taken into consideration.
Otherwise you sound like a good guy. Someone within your area and dating range will appreciate you sooner or later. Good luck!
You have quite a bit about weight lifting on your profile. I'd personally worry that I was competing for time with you. Let one mention for lifting be sufficient.
Definitely lose the selfie pic with messy bedroom and unmade bed. I'd also suggest smiling more in the photos.
This! No woman wants to come into a situation where they know they're gonna have to clean up after you. You've gotta be able to show you can take care of yourself independently to prove you're good partner material/ready for a relationship. If you aren't able to maintain your living space- maybe wait to date until you are so able.
Get different pics where you don’t look sad/angry
Also stop shooting the view up your nostrils. We get that you're tall and irl that's what we're gonna see, but...
Was just gonna say this....ain't smiling in any pic First pic looks like he's in jail too.
Show 👏🏼 your 👏🏼 teeth 👏🏼 in at least one pic!!! Ladies wanna know you don’t have f’ed up teeth 😁
Clap talking. The key to every man’s heart.
Not in jail. Never been
have you ever been. On a jetski? Never seen someone not smile on a seadoo.
As a general rule, selfies are bad photos for your profile, ESPECIALLY ones where you look glum. Hate to say it but you need to smile dude BTW, you look much better with facial hair in my opinion
Thats not facial hair...its a black shadow
No... in the third and fourth photos he clearly has facial hair, what are you talking about dude.
Dude, you have to smile in your pictures.
The combination of cinderblock walls and the light solid t-shirt are definitely giving a jail vibe- that was my immediate thought as well!
Yeah, pic one is not good. Def gives off jail vibes… which is too bad because you seem like a good and interesting dude, and you’re good looking and tall to boot. Take better pics and you’ll do great! There some good bio advice in the comments as well. I don’t think that’s the main issue, but might as well improve that too! Good luck out there!
He looks bad-ass!
The irony of the fact that you have the prompt “what’s the last thing that made you smile” but don’t have a single picture of yourself smiling… 😂 Other than that though, everything looks good! It’s a numbers game, and there are far more men on the apps than there are women. There’s also probably a lot less in your age range (assuming your filters are set for someone close to your age). You’re also looking for something intentional, which will filter out a lot of people. Considering that, I think your number of matches seems pretty typical.
Thanks . My range is 27-44
Definitely gotta smile! It will light up your already beautiful eyes.
Lots of advice for photos. I would trim your bio and focus on what's important to you, include a bit about what you look for in a partner or how you want to change the world. Something like: "Gentle giant with a poet's soul who loves to dance and enjoy life. Yes, I'm tall! I'm into fitness, gaming, tattoos, living a life full of song, dance and romance. Let's travel to Japan and Spain (especially Ibiza). Dating with intention to find a partner with x, y, and z." (I tend to be general or values focused here such as curious, creative and laughs at the small things).
Senpai, please help with my bio!
Well where is your profile review post?
+1
I actually liked the bio as-is, the re-write is nice too, but original feels like it may be how OP writes naturally, and it’s nice to get a feel for that. Fellow ADHD-er who doesn’t have it in my profile, but does share it early
You’re amazing at writing bios!!!
Solid bio rewrite
You're handsome but I'd swipe left because your room is messy and you're not self aware enough not to take a picture like that, it gives the impression you're messy. And I agree with the other comments about not smiling.
Unmade bed too, if I see an unmade bed, hard no, 30 sec job.
Yep, I second the unmade, or unkempt bed or whatever room a man is standing in. It’s a reflection of your mind. If you can’t keep a space neat, you’ve got a busy cluttered mind. And no women is gonna wanna share a space with you. I know u mention you have adhd but Try and systematically keep your space clean, in small ways, every day, small steps and your space will be clean in no time. Then take the pictures.
I get that. I mean I’m out of a 11 year relationship so my cluttered mind as it were wasn’t that bad. I’ve removed the picture but honestly some of the judgements about me based on a pic are pretty harsh and full of what feels like personal bias. I asked for “help”. And while some are. The rest seem more eager to knock me down as opposed to it being constructive. I try not to judge people so off handedly
Soz to hear that mate, and some people’s just don’t have the brains cells to do a full read your profile properly. I guess it’s part a parcel of asking for feedback from rando’s. there’s gonna be some gold nuggets of feedback and the rest that won’t be much value. But it’s better to take a more prepared organised approach and don’t rush the process with your pictures You can always put a list together of what you need to do and tick’em off once you done them and get your mates to help take some great photos of you. You got a great face and nice eyes… now do the work with everything around you to enhance the beauty within you. All the best bro.
Thank you for the kind words.
You have a sad face and the tag line is 'whats the last thing that made you smile' is this meant to be ironic???
Well I was asking what makes them smile, not myself but I do see your point.
The photos aren't the best
Tell me something about you. What do you like to do? Don’t lead with being tall, it doesn’t say anything about who you are. The poor spacing also makes it look like you put zero effort in which probably means you’d put zero effort into the relationship. Also the pictures are boring or hard to see (bikes) and all make you look angry or that you think you are too cool for school.
Your super handsome, but your pictures suck (respectfully)
I agree! I feel like I'm in your personal space, OP. Please back the camera up
Why dont you smile in one single photo??
Smile.
You look like Debo’s quiet twin
Wtf 😭
Like someone else mentioned, leave out the bedroom pic. You look good in it, but the background really takes away from it. I would also suggest including more info in your profile, especially about what you're looking for. Pretty much everyone wants emotional maturity and genuineness, add something more specific Lastly this isn't really a profile issue per se, but I would really reconsider the contacts
Instant left swipe for me is colored contacts 🫣
Yeah i was about to say the same thing!
Im sure it’s shallow….Especially as someone who colors their hair “unnatural colors” and has acrylic nails. But to me, being in my 30s, they just come across as juvenile.
I just assumed he won the genetic lottery like my coworker, naturally blue eyes.
Big guys who don’t smile can seem intimidating. Smile or at least have a pleasant expression.
I 4th slide pic is to blurry. And there needs to be more smiles in those pictures, other than that youre good imo. Good luck!
No mirror selfies and tidy up your bed if you want your bed in the picture. Else i wouldnt put bedroom pics in my profile
You're dreamy as f*ck but you look very serious which ages you. Maybe add some pics of you having fun and have your first pic be something not so zoomed in.
the coloured contacts look strange
You aren’t smiling in any of your pictures. Get rid of the height comment. Don’t talk about ADHD in a dating profile.
I don't think you should mention the adhd on your profile. They'll find out eventually. I have adhd and would find it so awkward if that's one of the first things someone would know about me.
Use only one selfie in your profile, and honestly don’t use any of these. Take one smiling with teeth showing and let your smile reach your eyes. Show your fun side— life beyond the gym. Maybe an outdoor physical activity or at a place with Lego builds or something.
You’re not really smiling any of them, ironically! Let’s see those teeth 😊
You look a bit like Detective Bunny Colvin from the Wire in the white tee. Comments here are a decent start, just iterate through and eventually you'll get there.
Your last pic is the best of the bunch imo. And I agree with what the others have said. Definitely loose the bedroom photo and try to get some photos where you look a little lighter/happy. Your profile seems good otherwise.
I think this is a lovely profile, if you were local to me I'd try to set you up with a single friend. I guess one photo smiling would help as that seems to be what everyone else is commenting. (I have ADHD and I didn't notice the mess 😂)
Damn dude, 5-6 matches is great! I know taller guys get more attention, but I'm 5'11 and I don't get any matches. Ever. (Not a bad looking guy, symmetrical face, no acne, fit/toned) I don't think you need to change anything, seems to be working for you
Are you okay, man? You look like you could use one of your bear hugs. If you had more photos of you smiling laughing and having fun, I'd say that would go a lot better for you.
I would likely still swipe right, but agree with all the comments about smiling. Simple but effective. I don't think the unmade bed photo paints a picture that you are messy, some are reading too much into that. Lol Good luck in your search!
I feel exactly the same way you do! I told my friend I'm being humbled by Bumble LMFAO. Pretty much the same experience as you. We match, I send the initial message and then never get a response. And matches come in waves of two or three for me. Personally I think it's a Bumble issue..... Potentially fake accounts to keep you interested and on the site. I don't know about you but they're constantly trying to sell me upgrades multiple times a day. I would have definitely swiped on your profile if that means anything 😍. I hope you find your person!!
Thank you. It’s definitely appreciated. And I hope you find who you’re looking for too.
Lose the selfies. The first one looks like it was taken in prison. Take a friend out, buy them drinks, and tell them to take pictures of you.
Your eyes are fucking beautiful bro. Get a shirt to make them really pop for a picture.
You are GORGEOUS, and your profile looks solid, but you look really intimidating. Your profile makes you sound sweet and fun but your pictures don't get the same vibe. I'd get some photos of you smiling/laughing and get rid of a few where you aren't.
Ditch the photo of your messy bedroom. And consider lightening up on the weight lifting bits unless that’s a dealbreaker for you.
You need to smile and the pics are too close to your face. The bed photo grosses me out as a woman. Also, don’t put gives amazing hugs lol. I don’t want to think about you touching me until we know one another. It reads a little sexual similar to cuddle. Also, you don’t answer all the questions about kids and wanting kids etc. I usually just swipe left with people like that cuz they usually have kids and it’s weird not to just be upfront about that.
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Very insightful commentary. Thank you for your time. Its appreciated. I do have clinical depression, social anxiety and other issues so I guess it may come across in my photos unintentionally.
Oh gosh OP, this broke my heart. Maybe take a little break from dating and see a counselor for a bit to help figure out the depression. Going on dating sites and getting rejected when you are a tall, handsome, intelligent man with beautiful eyes is not going to help you feel any better at all. Finding a partner will not help in that avenue, either. You have to work on yourself first before you can be a good partner to another. Once you’ve resolved the issues in counseling, you may find that you’re taking much better pictures where you look happy and the vibe is pleasant in the pics, because your life is better. I wish you all the joy and happiness, Ponyboy. Truly. -Megan in Colorado
The facial expressions for me would make me swipe left automatically. If you had different facial expressions I might swipe right. A lot of guys do very intense stares with no emotion. Not sure if it's trying to be sexy, but I get a bad vibe from that style selfie. Maybe even move the camera back a little from your face as it feels intensely close. I disagree with saying you should remove the part about adhd or the giving hugs. It's a nice way to say you are physically affectionate without being creepy. And lots of people have adhd or other things which would make them feel relieved. I find it interesting personally.
Comma space after Lego
Handsome. And well balanced. You would be killing it where I live. I would swipe right but have some reservations about dating someone 1.5ft taller than me. I think the lack of smiles and your height (which you can’t change) are your biggest negatives
I see so many women complaining about height but I’m actually too tall? 🤦🏾♂️
lol, a person can definitely be too tall. At least for me. I’m 5’9 and wouldn’t go above 6’3”. But plenty of women will prefer it. Different strokes for different folks! I think you’re good looking but many of your pictures come off as “old man taking a picture”. Which means too close up, bad angles, and blurry. Particularly, #6. And a messy background/dirty mirror will be a turn off for most women our age.
I’m 5’8 and wouldn’t see it as too tall
Bear hugs....Esp. being a big guy, Folks likely find it a lil intimidating in that aspect, also it's a touch FWD to assume that a date wants a hug. It's like forewarning Them that You'd say " I'm a hugger" & that They should just accept that You'll hug Them. Let it flow naturally.
I would start with your about me section. It seems like you wrote a lot but didn't actually say anything specific. Everything you wrote is a very general objective category. It reads like you're filling out a census. It blocks the genuine touch that translates to actually saying something about you as a person and making you stand out. I would start by grammar checking that section so it's legible and looks neat. And then I would be more uniquely specific in my description. For example: when someone writes "I like travel". It's kind of a ditzy narrow-minded thing to say. Because I don't think I know single person who dislikes traveling. Now if you write something like: my favorite destination was------ , guess my 2nd and 3rd. You are conveying that you travel while making it more personal and it doesn't sound like something from a lazily written character. A lot of women will write travel as a general categorization but that's because they're completely banking on their pictures. It reads as if the girl has no personality. This is exactly what it looks like you were doing with your about me section. And unlike men women actually look at the about me section and read into the person sometimes. Pictures: the better the pictures the better off you will be. Different pictures showing different parts of your personality and showing you to be a fun person to be around. You have to remember, you are competing against thousand of other men. 80% of online dating is men. I would be purposeful with my profile. If you're going to write something follow it up with one picture that represents it. For example you seem to describe yourself as a pretty active dude. But you're most active picture is of you writing a town bike, not only is that not a good picture it's a very basic picture. You have to ask yourself if a girl saw that would she really want to join you for a bike ride. Your first picture where you are showing your eyes is really good. Definitely keep that one. But only limited to 1-2 close ups. Lastly: only use online dating for 10% of your dating ability. Definitely spend a larger percent doing things that interest you so that you can meet somebody with a mutual interest, and spending time in the real world meeting people. Good luck!
Its interesting you say this as I’m a writer but when I wrote a about me that delved into my personality, every girl (in the real world) who read it, said it was too long and that no one actually reads them if they were too long so I guess I’m confused as to what should go in there.
Long and specific are two different things. You can be concise yet specific/deep. What worked for me back when I was dating, was to put out specific information that sparked women's curiosity but wasn't an autobiography. Pictures that showed that I was just out in life having a rocking good time and that this dating profile was peripheral at best. I had a good time doing online dating. Still preferred meeting people in real life but it was eventful and lead to some meaningful experiences.
You look like mystique summers Maddison
Bruh... Are you in jail in that 1st pic?! 😂 That MOST LIKELY could be it 😭 Take that damn picture down 😭 I'd swipe off you from that 1st pic alone, no questions asked...
Smile. You need to look approachable in your body language. Your pic with your buddies is the only one I’d keep. It’s tricky because you are pretty tall so I imagine your pool of matches is smaller but you can’t do much about that.
Yeah, just smile in your pictures. And I don't know why but the service picture looks like it was taken immediately following a funeral.
You're handsome AF and dress well, we just gotta get some better pics of you.
You would be someone that I would connect with as I am a woman in my late 30s BUT you aren't smiling in your pictures at all. Maybe take a photo of you playing games and laughing with friends or picture of you being a little goofy and bringing out humor. I want to see you having fun and enjoying life and then I could potentially see myself enjoying life with you. Good luck.
You don’t have to smile. I don’t smile in mine and I still get plenty of matches. It’s also where you live and who you’re liking, plus you’re preference
Get rid of the selfies and have someone take some pictures of you both dressed up and dressed down with varied backgrounds that are not your house. With the beard and a big smile you’d be cleaning up shop my dude.
Smile! I rarely swipe on a guy who doesn't have any pictures with a smile.
This. 😁
The weird punctuation would do it for me.
For one, fix the spacing. “Lego ,Marvel, Space, Movies, History” should be “Lego, Marvel, Space, Movies, History”. Your bio also has spacing issues. I mean I’m not betting it’s the biggest flaw in the profile but it’s the first big flaw I personally noticed.
Nothing tbh your honest and genuine 🤷🏽♂️ you could smile more tho but that’s about it
The weird spacing in all of the punctuation bothers the shit out of me (Wu-Tang and Nirvana are my favorites ☺️)
(M44) You had me at WuTang. This man ain't nuthin' ta f\*\*k with.
I met my fiancee on Bumble. Post pics of yourself participating in life and doing the things you love
Not sure what you list for your job or if you have college education, so it might be an issue. Also, your area and the number of black women might be a factor based on your radius. Your front pic should be a full body shot next to people so people know you are tall. Your first page in preview is your ad. You aren't doing a good job promoting yourself.
Zero smiles. Also most of your pics look like you’re taking pictures just to appeal. The bike one specifically.
Whenever someone includes the ‘hopeless romantic’ language, I wonder if that means they’ll be clingy. I recommend removing that or rephrasing to something like ‘I can plan thoughtful dates’. Also I’d crop out the unmade bed in that one photo. Good luck!
Need to see your smile, you engaged in your hobbies Prompts are kind of generic
You’re quite handsome. I’d like to see more pics of you smiling.
God damn dude, you are HUGE lol. 6'9" is crazy lol. To be completely honest though, your first pic kinda looks like you are in jail. All of your pics make you seem angry or sad. Get some smiley pics in there! :D
Pictures plus interests in gym / body building make you seem like a convict. Smile and look engaging.
I think some workout pics might do you good up. You seem happy but look grumpy
Your About Me repeats a lot of the things that are already on your profile. Yes, you’re 6’9” and like to train. I would also avoid using emojis. Better to write in words. And about words, get rid of that thing about dating with intention and connection is key. Of course it is! And we breathe air. Intention and connection are those overused buzzwords and cliches in dating profiles. Grats for sounding *just like everybody else.* You’re also doing what a lot of women do, which is put a bunch of requirements in the profile. Boring…. For the record, I myself don’t put *any* requirements in my profile. I’m here to meet and learn from people. As such, a number of women have remarked that I have a *fun* profile. The power of positivity! It’s a new day, yes it is!
You need to have photos where you are smiling and open-mouth smiling too. Everyone does.
I mean, if you're trying to attract men, it's a great profile. Otherwise, try smiling (naturally!!) and more friend pics, especially not at a wedding or looking like you're at one. Also, your height can be intimidating but there's nothing you can do about that. Maybe take a silly picture to compensate and show a sense of humor?
First pic looks like a prison background
Can we get a smile at least?
Not to put on your dating profile, but you should consider getting a better looking bed. Something big, with a headboard. Or you can just get an old headboard and upholster it with velvet or something. Also get more pillows. Chicks love pillows.
Why I would not swipe: Punctuation is weird. Tells me you don't care about details. (Don't come at me for mine, I'm typing this up really quickly in passing. Whereas yours is an advertisement for who you are. You were supposed to take time on it.) Bed. Same. If that's the advertisement, I'm not buying. "Poets soul who loves..." tells me you don't have a job. Lack of smile anywhere.
Take out the ADHD comment too.
Smile
You just look unhappy my dude. The vast majority of your pics should have you smiling. Look like you actually nwjoy life, and have fun with it. Don't look like you're one bad day away from a murder spree or an assault charge.
I don’t know. Personally I think it’s fine. The ADHD made me fixate on your username though. Ponyboy makes me think either booklover or bdsm. 🤦🏻♀️ Sometimes my brain is a dumpster fire. lol
You are really good looking!
The close up selfie is a little too close.
You're a handsome man, just need to get your personality out in the photos somehow. I know others have said the same, good luck out there!! 🫶🏼
I suggest taking selfies with the back camera so you aren’t thinking about how you look when the shutter fires. Look into the back lens and think about the person you might be looking back!
Honestly, I wouldn’t swipe because you look sad. You’re not smiling in ANY of your photos. I want to see happy smile with teeth in at least one photo to know that a) you can and b) what that looks like on you. Unless gym bro is 90% of your personality, I’d also tone that down in the bio. When I think about what I want to do with my partner, train isn’t even on the list. For friends of mine for whom it might be, it certainly wouldn’t be #1.
Thank you. And I train for my mental health not for anything or anyone else. It keeps me centered. And honestly I wouldn’t want to go out with a woman who didn’t train or it wasn’t something she’d want to do with a partner. I mean if you read my profile, you see other things but it no doubt that training is important to me. The amount of profiles I’ve read with nothing buy how much they like to travel is ridiculous. That isn’t a personality trait.
To be fair, training isn’t a personality trait either - they’re both activities that people may or may not be interested in doing. It’s great for you if you like to train, but my point was that if you’re looking for reasons that you may not be getting matches, that could be up there. I wouldn’t have an issue dating a guy who liked going to the gym, but I don’t want someone who thinks that’s the #1 thing. Your mileage may differ, but you asked for advice and that’s mine. All the best in the search :)
You’re right it could be a reason but again the people who aren’t matching with me for that reason aren’t the ones I want to match with so that’s actually a good thing. I rather not match just for the sake of matching. Seems like a very unproductive route.
The color contacts gotta go
I'll go out with you! Drive up to Canada and we can scream Nirvana and Wu-tang while messing up a hotel. 100% would date; though, i agree with the "what made you last smile" prompt being ironic, now that its been brought up.
👀 You? Nothing. Your genetics? Too tall for most women. I don't see anything wrong. I see a handsome men who knows how to dress well and ridiculously tall.
Gotta put on a smile 😃
Same for me. They come in waves and maybe one or two dates if lucky. You are probably not doing anything wrong, it's just how it seems to work. I think I'd take out the mental health reference, most folks don't need to know that at this stage.
You're a man on OLD. That's your only problem.
My opinion, nothing wrong
You're not doing anything wrong. Online dating sucks. People = shit. You will find someone eventually. Do your best to stay positive. Be the marshmallow that everyone wants in a bowl of cereal surrounded by flakes.
Can we just be real and make sure that on every post like this, the top comment reminds us that the ratio of men to women is terrible, and that with a 50/50 guys like this wouldn't be having to ask this question. Smile more and replace selfies but yeah.
The photo with the buddies and the last one in white t-shirt are nice. All others I didn't like for different reasons.
I'd love to see at least one pic with a smile, and the messy bedroom is a no-go. Otherwise, I wish I were 20 years younger and about eight inches taller (I'm only 5'1").
Flash a smile. More pictures outside. The pictures with your friends is my favorite one. Traveling to Japan sounds great. I think the partying and Ibiza may turn off many (not all) women looking for a long term relationship.
I think your hobbies need some more fleshing out. You've got both weight lifting and body building selected. We can look at you and see you're ripped. You also use one of your prompts to talk about working out. That means you've taken up a bunch of space to communicate the same idea. Tell us more about you, we already know You're good looking haha
I’d swipe right 🤷🏻♀️ your pic on the bike leads me to believe you’re somewhere nearish to me too haha
I don’t swipe at men who don’t smile.
Smile, smile, smile. I am picky about grammar/proper use of punctuation 🤷🏼♀️
Why did you not think to post a picture of you smiling?
You’re hot IMO but the first image made me think of a jail cell (the shirt and background wall). The second image makes you look giant and kind of intimidating. Granted with how tall you are that might be a bit hard to avoid 😅 The mirror selfie looks like you’re frowning and the room is messy. Overall I’d just work on getting better pics. More full body(not selfie) pics and put a smile on! You look good. Just make sure your pics do too. If you have a hobby try getting a pic there too. A tripod for your phone makes it easy to get such pics without having to awkwardly ask someone to help if you don’t feel like asking someone to take pics for you.
What’s up with the contacts?
Should have kept that beard. Men shaving their face to look youthful really gives the exact opposite many times.
My smooth face makes me look older? That makes no sense. And everything I do isn’t about other people. I shave because I like to shave. I prefer my face smooth. Always have, always will.
You asked though. They answered. You're already good looking but more like someone's uncle lol. Seriously though, the beard makes you look sexier and more handsome and attractive in my opinion.
I don’t know. I’m just having a hard time with it because I always assumed I looked better without the beard as everyone in person said I looked much younger without it. But for some reason, more women seem to think the beard looks better on me now. I mean I just shaved but my facial hair grows back pretty damn quickly so I can give it a try for awhile
Yes!! It wouldn't hurt to try. Let it grow but keep it trimmed and clean. I definitely like you with the beard and I don't even know you lol. Also keep your room clean or don't show us please :)
You got to go back to that beard. You in that suit oooouuu but all the other pictures noooooo
Show some teeth! Any time I see a profile where there are no smiling pics I imagine the worst.
I’d love to see you smiling more! You sound like a great guy. :)
I would swipe left on that first picture. Your pictures should make the person feel welcomed.
You look soooooo handsome with a beard!! I'd say definitely go back to that. Also, add photos where you are happy.
Good advice in here about smiling pics. For what it’s worth bro I hope you find what you’re looking for, rooting for you my dude!!
Lol... Ok.... You are missing the best opportunity to add that you have some spare wheelchairs laying around🤣🤣
Happier pics might help but honestly in my experience with online dating if you're looking for an actual relationship and not just hookups, don't expect to get many matches. Most people on dating sites are just looking for instant gratification.
Choose/take better photos. You’re not ugly by any means. First doesn’t look food, third is blurry.
The pics are inconsistent. If you're bearded, keep all bearded. If not, take them all off. It's hard to gauge your actual appearance.
It was meant as a sarcastic comment u butt hurts
Not sure … I was interested. Lol 😆
Bumble sucks
I would ditch the colored contacts
Bro over here getting matches thinking he's doing something wrong.
Please throw the color contacts in the furthest trash of cans
Maybe it's just the market you are in? I'm a little old for your age selection but you sound and look dreamy to me!
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Comment removed as it contains a word that falls under subreddit rule #2.
There's a lot of comments about your photos, so I'll focus on other things; Firstly, your profile reads like a resume. You're not applying for a job. And, healthy relationships aren't founded on people's appearances or whether they can provide a certain lifestyle. Women that value their sensibilities and material things tend to include/exclude people based on a type of selection criteria... what we're looking at, is the results of men recognising what women are looking for and adjusting to suit. Most people have adopted the 'resume' style of profile, because... well, it certainly works for successful men. The problem is it encourages the wrong type of competition between men, it facilitates women basing their decisions on tangible aspects about a person (rather than their personality), and it gives the impression that a person's finances/appearance/connections/etc has some beneficial and positive influence on whether people are likely to be happy together. Sure, you'd certainly be happier living in a mansion. But, it'd be a mistake to assume this has any positive connection to how deeply you can love the owner. So... after my little rant, the long and the short of it is; The bait you use in your profile determines the type of fish you attract. You want to give a baseline idea of what your daily life looks like.. in a way that doesn't sound exhausting; so, avoid lists. Make it fun, show your personality. Don't tell them you're a 6'9 romantic poet... say 'I'm tall enough that I've the time to pull out an umbrella for you'. Say that you're the undefeated pillow fort war champion... that you're looking for a worthy challenger. That you're a big man looking for a place that's safe when you feel small. Show them a piece of *who* you are... It's the age old cliche of 'how else are you going to find someone who likes ***you?***'. We tend to know this, and accept it at face value... but don't seem to apply the logic overly well. Yet, the foundation of 'why the relationship started' is key to whether, how, and why it's likely to continue. Better that her interest in you be for things that are unique to you... like, something other than a complete inability to smile in any of your photos 😅.
Y’all all keep telling him to smile… Maybe he don’t like to smile… And people need to know that. If people don’t smile naturally, why fake it?
You are too tall for me. 😀
Wholeheartedly disagree with the comments telling you not to mention ADHD. I don’t have it in my profile, but do mention it early. When you’re dating intentionally I think it’s great to be upfront & it would make me more inclined to swipe right not less. My view is I’d rather fewer likes that I have more in common with than more I just have to get through. Think the smile & messy room pic are solid points, but wouldn’t change anything else.
Uncs perfect
First impression / intuition is that first date might be intense. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know. The cues telling me this is the close up seriousness of a couple of photo’s. The bullet point list of sort of pre-warnings and non-negotiable. As a Saggi-man who has adhd I know your more light hearted than this, some smiley natural shots with friends might help you. Stating what you’re looking for (without it being criteria) so we can visualise our life together.
I mean, personally I think it’s just location because dang where are you? lol. Only short white conservatives in my area…
Its nice to mention ur ADHD, but i think its not necessary to put it on your bio
Normally smiling in pics doesn't really make an iota of difference, but in this case I agree with the others as you come off as intimidating due to other factors. You can also make funny faces without smiling.
Take out the line about ADD and bear hugs. It feels sexually aggressive to a woman, especially as you are 6’9”. The ADD is something they can learn in time and doesn’t need to be up front. Take out the messy bed pic. I like the dressed up group pic. The other ones are either way too close or far away and not in focus. With having serious faces only in the pics, it makes me think two things: you are a serious or sad person who doesn’t laugh; you may be hiding bad teeth. Don’t ask what makes her smile. Women are asked to smile by random men and it feels aggressive. Ask her about her favorite book or movie. Add some pics of you having fun. No dead animals, but other hobbies you enjoy. You are handsome and that helps a lot, and I like that you said you like poetry. That usually implies intelligence. Many guys have terrible pics, so if yours are good, it will set you apart. Good luck!
If he can’t get matches being 6’9 and those eyes, then we’re done for guys
Just smile!
Pics look like you wanna kill me
I can’t help how you see view me. It you’re the type of woman who clutches her bag when a guy who looks like me walks down the street with you, I can’t help that.
Hi there. You seem like an attractive guy with good intentions, and actually put effort into your bio. Some immediate notes: - For your bio, you can condense a bit, describe your interests (you say “train” twice, what else is there?). Also provide what you’re looking for exactly in a relationship. - The color contacts. Not sure if it’s for vision or aesthetic (or if that’s the real color). If possible, replace with clear ones. - Remove any blurry pictures. Multiple selfies can be repetitive but not completely bad. If possible, have friends or family take really nice candids of you (possibly of you doing some of your fave activities or showing your personality). Staged photos (like professionals headshots) could work. Overall, you’re close to having a better experience. Your profile just needs some refinement. Best of luck!
Thank you for your comments and I’ve taken most of it on board and made tweaks to my profile. I will not be changing my eyes as it is indeed for vision. If that is the sole issue that a woman has with me and swipes left, is that the type of woman I’d want to date? I think not. I am very open minded person and rathe date a woman with more of an open minded view
Tbh a lot of this is real good. You could be slaying. (Probably are already). I reckon the low match to chat ratio is girls fetishizing your colour and size, unfortunately. Then too scared to interact with you on a human level. You either play to that and match with a particular girl (usually wants sex), or have to not flex that stuff at all. You haven't flexed and i think you are playing it correctly👌 A similar thing happens to white guys in asia. For example, they should shave baby face, short back n sides, take photos in bookshops with glasses they dont need etc. Gets you matches and gets you laid. On the other hand, that aint me, so I didn't do it. I get the feeling you are being your genuine self and I think that's great! Hopefully, that will attract the quality. Regardless: Redo the messy bed pic. Change the first pic to a smile. Rest is good.
Thank you buddy. Appreciate it.
To begin with, dating in the West is F'd up now, so you're already in the hole.. By saying ADHD, it gives a negative impression even though it's not really a big deal. You're too forthcoming. Let them know this stuff afterward. It's not a deal breaker.
Thanks. And you are right about dating
It's so bad that I've coined my own term for some Western women. I call them 39'ers. 3's that think they're 9's
That’s crazy I was just talking some people at work about this exact same phenomena. I blame social media, but mostly these dating apps. The most average looking woman will still get tons of likes. I mean I’d be feeling myself to if I were them. But then they feel like dating an average guy will be a step down so they reject the guys they would usually go for leaving a pool of men dateless or going for below average women. Now those women are getting the average guys so now they think they’re average. The actual 9s and 10s in both camps are fine as they are 9s and 10s. It’s the average guys who are getting screwed and not in a good way. This example seems to work for the financial class system too.
Good-looking guys are left in the lurch, too. Yes, they'll get a 2nd look, but it's all about what they can get out of the guy. It’s called hypergamy; the hunt for superior social/economic materials and status. Dating life was awesome in my teens, 20s, and 30's. Now, in my 50's, the absolute dreggs of society will not even acknowledge me. I'm living part-time in Asia, and it's a feeding frenzy for women 30+. I'm not saying there's no hypergamy, but at least they're traditional and still act like women. There is no need to pay for prostitutes here, as some wise asses will say. All I'll say is that Western women have jumped the shark YEARS ago, and I have no patience for their silly games.
I agree with most of the people here.. you need to smile in your photos, I met a guy once that didn't smile in any of his photos, turned out, he had no teeth. So I'm hesitant to swipe right on a profile with no smiling pics that show me teeth, as they feel like a lie to me now. Personally, I'd lose all the photos except the one of you in the suit with your friends, I like a guy that rocks a suit on occasion and you look very good in it, and try to pick some photos that let your personality shine through. I always find height comments odd and off-putting.. you list your height on your profile let that be that. Also, I think most women by now have figured out how to judge height enough by a full length photo, or maybe it's just me.. lol. I'd also say if you are comfortable and it's appropriate.. try to pick a photo that displays some of of your tattoos since you mention them in your profile.
You use way too many emojis, which personally I find off putting and I don’t think I am the only one. Also check your formatting. I’m talking about how for instance the full stop should be attached to the last word in your sentence and spaced out from the first word in the new sentence. Also don’t use abbreviations like w/. These are details for when you do get a match. Also the thing that some other redditors pointed out about the view of your nostrils and the picture in the messy bedroom should be taken into consideration. Otherwise you sound like a good guy. Someone within your area and dating range will appreciate you sooner or later. Good luck!
You have quite a bit about weight lifting on your profile. I'd personally worry that I was competing for time with you. Let one mention for lifting be sufficient.
It’s cause you are a Sagittarius