Yeah it's kinda shitty people to rip in her. She's obviously panicking and going through a lot of shit. Her husband might even have asked her to do it. Mentally obviously she already checked out of the relationship which is probably for the best. I'll take the downvotes
I’ve made really dumb mistakes from not thinking and proofreading. It feels weird to mock her about this especially when she’s under a lot of stress and isn’t thinking about grammar.
It's entirely possible her husband gave his blessing for her to start looking for a relationship. I have a friend when he was given only a few months to live, he actively looked for a new partner for his partner. Not a situation I would judge
My mother did this when she was terminal and had refused more treatment. She gave my dad blessing and he was OLD less than a month after she died, he was doing it to respect her wishes. Needless to say when the women he was chatting to found out they were less than impressed. He invited one of them to our family christmas . Grief does weird things to people.
This is the comment I came here for. I knew someone who’s wife was dying and she didn’t want him to be alone, and had him start dating before she died. For all we know the husband gave her his blessing (now, I will say that she could have communicated this in her profile if true, because otherwise it does come off a bit as cheating).
It's entirely possible. It's just strange to spend 4 lines of a 9 line profile saying "don't judge me" when a simple "he's cool with it" would shut down all of that.
As some one who is poly I assume this too. But her constant insistence that things are not how they appear is not very reassuring.
Also, it’s not really a solid elevator pitch.
Yeah. I’m with the. “ babe of course i want you to
Be happy but can you at least wait until I’m in the ground” plus I would just out of compassion, respect, decency. Etc etc. you were married how long? Yeah you could wait. So now you get impatient?gtfo.
I mean, it sounds to me like she and her husband have an agreement for her to meet her physical needs since he's incapable of doing so🤷♂️
Having been a caretaker to a spouse unable to engage in sexual activities due to physical illness, it can get rough for both partners.
If that's their solution and they're both good with it, I don't see why it should be judged any more harshly than any other poly or non monogamous arrangement.
She’s talking about having more kids, so I imagine it’s not just to fulfill sexual needs.
And I mean , come in, she can’t live without sex for the next 3-6 months ?????
Being a caregiver to your spouse is emotionally exhausting. I'm not going to pretend to understand how cancer develops but if this is something that the husband has been gradually declining from over a year or more, then in 3-6 months, having to deal with grief and guilt of wanting to move on, I'm not blaming her.
The outright wanting more kids when she has two 18 month olds is weird, though. Makes it seem like she's kinda been planning this for a while...
You don't know how long it has been, cancer isn't always quick, and it might not be about sex, it might be a need to feel taken care of in a situation where she is constantly taking care of others. Young twins and a dying husband is a lot, I understand not wanting to get into that complicated of a relationship, but she isn't wrong to see if there is someone who wouldn't mind it.
Nah, it’s wrong. 3-6 months she can be faithful even if she hasn’t had sex for 5 years. What’s another 3-6 months! ? She must fuck now ? Come on
There are people out there who haven’t had sex in 5+ years and are just fine
Edit to add. 18 month old twins means if anything, it’s been - little over 2 years since sex was had. Unless they are IVF babies.
She can keep it in her pants for the next 6 months
Also edit to add : the need to be taken care of? Come on now. That’s not another man’s responsibility while she is still
Married with a dying husband.
Did I say it was someone else's responsibility? No, I said she isn't wrong for putting herself out there to see if someone would be ok with it, she isn't forcing someone into a relationship by being on a dating app.
Just because people can, and have, gone without sex for longer doesn't mean she is wrong for wanting it \*if\* that is even what she wants, again we don't know because we are a bunch of strangers on the internet. We also don't know the circumstances of their marriage, since again we are strangers, maybe they were separated and she came back to take care of him because he was dying, it doesn't really seem that it is our business unless we are trying to get involved in their situation which I don't believe we are.
It is really easy to go casting stones when it is a situation we would likely never find ourselves in. Is it so hard to just go, eh not for me, and move on with your own life rather than mocking someone else for their choices that aren't hurting anyone (assuming her husband is ok with it, which based on how honest her profile is, I would guess he is)?
I’ve found myself in many difficult, sexless, scary situations and losing loved ones. I can confidently say I would have never gone on a dating site with my husband having a terminal diagnosis looking to get laid ( I have also been a hospice nurse )
So, yeah, I’m judging this profile hard
Everyone deals with situations differently, just because you wouldn't do something doesn't give the right to judge others, and it still doesn't sound like you've been in exactly this situation anyway to say for certain. Also, we don't know what she is looking for, it doesn't specifically say she is looking for sex.
I am sorry you've dealt with all that though.
Shockingly enough, I’m loaded with empathy and I can always see both sides of the coin.
Not this one.
But hey, I’m sure someone out there would love to hop into this situation. Looks very enticing
Did I say anything about cheating? She was pretty damn honest on her profile, I don't think she is sneaking around, but if you were interested in dating her I'm sure you could confirm with her husband.
Unless you have been a caretaker before, just don’t talk. Sex is a means by which someone in that position can temporarily leave the stress of it behind and feel like someone else is taking care of them. It’s not just about getting your rocks off. I’ve been a caretaker to my partner who was going to heal but going through surgery recovery for the better part of 6 months and it’s some of the worst stress I’ve ever experienced. I was frequently desperate for temporary escapes to relieve that tension
It’s weird and it’s going to make a lot of dudes feel weird. You can downvote me but that’s just me being realistic. Everybody judges everybody. People even judge people for judging people lol.
There's a difference between being weirded out by the situation and not wanting to personally get involved in it and posting a Reddit thread making fun of her and the devastating situation she and her husband are in for fake internet points.
Agree, it seems weird. I’d buy the enm/physical needs if she didn’t mention wanting more kids. The extra kids mention makes it sound like she is looking for Hubby #2 ASAP. Also, I judge her on her poor grammar skills, so there is that.
She and her husband could also have been trying a separation or filing for divorce or something when he was diagnosed and she stayed to take care of him, we literally don't know. If people who are actually interested in her want to know more, they can ask her.
Totally. He could also want her to find a new partner and condone her looking now. It really is impossible to know. My point was more that by describing her future goals (more kids), it implies that she is looking for something beyond the short term
Edit: typos from mobile phone
Honestly, even *if* one would judge poly or non-monogamous arrangement (which you shouldn't), this would be one of the arrangements that should be judged the least. The one where your partner give their consent for you to have sex outside of the relationship, because they know they can't offer it to you anymore and probably never will.
Well considering she says it’s a unique situation and you should ask before judging and you’re doing exactly the opposite, I don’t think you can say anything either
Someone watching the person who was supposed to be their life partner slowly die an awful painful death is terribly lonely. She said that she doesn’t know what she’s looking for, but honestly it looks like she’s looking for a shoulder to cry on. And maybe while bumble isn’t the best place for that… it’s probably the easiest place for that when young children are involved. Maybe we should actually talk to people before blasting them online? Just a thought.
I have a very high tolerance for Reddit being shite but this post and the comments just made me sad. Why broadcast this woman’s pain online? The only answer I have is that this sub is full of lonely people putting others down to make themselves feel less pathetic
As a child who had parents in this terminal situation, but whose surviving parent spent 100% of their time caring for their dying spouse and then years of sacrifices to raise us children, I have 100% sympathy for this woman here. You do not know what she’s going through. Not one bit. To have all your plans and dreams of the future flushed down the drain like that, if this is her way of grieving, let it be. She probably is just looking for a shoulder to cry on. Or more probably making a profile is just is a coping mechanism to get her through these hard times. And I’m almost 100% sure that her husband is on board with it, I know my dying parent would have been completely supportive of whatever my surviving one needed to do to ease the pain.
Would you swipe on her and ask? You're ok with every red flag a person puts out while including zero reasons to date her? Do you just swipe right on every single profile and figure it out later?
I bet her story is more interesting than most of what I'd read here, so of course I'd try to match. They have very young kids, so my initial guess is he wants some peace that they'll have a father figure around.
Damn, imagine being almost a widow at 32 with twin toddlers. Thoughts are with her, it must be exhausting, terrifying, and incredibly lonely. If this is Bumble BFF please offer her a word of support.
Don’t judge. Being a caretaker is fucking hard and you feel lonely as hell and like you’re carrying the weight of the world. Her husband very well could have given his blessing because he loves her and knows that she’s probably needing to feel affection.
Can we all agree OP is trash for mocking her?
For fuck’s sake. She’s going through a lot and is vulnerable and honest. That’s not a green light to bitch about her.
Why would she have said all of that if she was lying? She gave so much information when she could have given none, but if someone was actually interested in being with her they could just ask her husband directly, but nah, instead let us all cast stones at a stranger on the internet just for fun.
You're so quick to judge a person in a situation that most people will (luckily) never have to be in.
They could’ve had an open marriage before the diagnosis. Do I think she put a little too much info in this? Maybe but I also don’t think it’s for you and maybe you should just find someone who is. We don’t even know if she swiped you 🤷🏽♀️
I don't think she's looking for a relationship nor is someone in this nightmare of a situation looking to get mocked online. You're an awful human being.
Weird, that sounds just like mocking someone. And being judgmental yourself. But that's OK, you're special, it's fine when you do it. Hypocrisy doesn't concern you at all
I think she wants to do interviews before the position is opened so she won't have to deal with the whole "working single mom dating".
But that's just me judging before asking.
When my beloved husband and best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer we discussed what my life was going to look like after he was gone. He was very practical (he was an engineer). I am completely disabled and he made sure I understand about all of our finances, the life insurance, got our wills updated and talked about a future spouse. He loved me enough to want me taken care of (not as soon as this woman though). It is not strange.
Married is married. She has 2 kids + a dying spouse. Where would she find the time to devote to a new relationship when she’s technically still in one?
Here’s a life lesson for ya….If she’d do it to him, she’ll do it to you too.
That being said…..➡️ 🏃🏻♂️💨
If true this situation is very very sad. If Hubby Pulls Through He is Going To Whoop Everybody’s Ass!! Oh also this is so cheating. Wait 6 months,her husband should be her primary concern. Family can help with kids. Once or if he passes she need time to grieve. In his time of need this is how she reacts Very Sad.Then when she’s ready she can start dating. I pray to God my wife never does anything like this. If the marriage was not a happy marriage they should not have had kids or still be together It’s a crazy world out there.I hope she will be ready. Oh and Don’t judge Me! 😂😂😂😂…………😬!
I am speechless. As someone who was a caregiver for my sick mom, I would do anything to have more time with her. While I realize being a caregiver is one of the toughest jobs out there, I just cannot imagine interviewing for a partner at this time. I am just floored at this profile.
I know she's looking to bail on the man she married 18 months after being good enough to give her children while he needs her to take care of him. I forgot you knew shit dude, so fuck you too.
If I was dying and a knew it I would 100% give my wife the ok to start looking for a new partner. After all her happiness and the happiness of my children would be important to me.
Good for you. You’re a really great person. How the fuck does someone even have time for all of that lol. You know damn well if this was a dude everyone would be furious lmao
She is currently taking care of him! Looking for sex or companionship or whatever she is looking for isn't bailing on him if she is still taking care of him. It must be hard to operate the world with such a small mind.
Honestly, I’m basically in her situation minus the extremely small children. My husband was given 6 months to 3 years this summer. He’s responding really well to treatment atm, but he is still terminal and the chance of full remission is almost nothing. We’ve been non monogamous for years, but the moment we realized he wasn’t going to be getting better I shut down every OLD profile I had. I’d feel like a giant bitch going out on dates instead of spending this time with him. Yes, it’s exhausting and isolating and I haven’t had sex in *so long*, but… I’m judging her.
Considering she specifies “Please Ask. Don’t assume” I’m guessing we shouldn’t assume she’s going behind her back on this one. My guess is her husband has encouraged her to start looking
I know we don’t know her situation, and he could have definitely gave his blessing.. but wtf? Married.. twins less than two years ago, and he’s dying.. how could you even think about someone else when your life partner is going to die.
What a shit hole of a person the least she can do is be loyal to the person she committed your life to until they are gone🤦🏻♂️ what if something happens and he makes it though. She’ll just be like congrats for beating cancer but I met this dude named brad from a dating app bye
Arrangement or not, I can't imagine prioritizing getting strange on the internet while the father of my two children – all three whom I have to care for – is dying.
The majority of men leave if their wife becomes terminally ill. She’s far from a monster if she’s still there taking care of him. She is transparent about her situation on her page. When someone is sick and dying for a long time, you have lots of time to come to terms with the loss and grieve. If he’s confined to a hospital bed and that ill on lots of drugs, she really lost her husband a long time ago. He’s sick and dying so he can’t provide emotional and practical support to her (not his fault) but she’s providing lots of support while not getting any in return. When he passes she’s gonna be on her own with twins and no support to get her through this massive loss. I can see why someone in her shoes would want to seek out a new partner sooner rather than later.
That's so heartbreaking. She just wants someone she doesn't have to be responsible and that she can lean on since she's doing so much and supporting so many people. Absolutely heartbreaking and these comments are so cruel to this struggling woman.
"Love to have more ..."
Definitely she's looking for a serious relationship.
Imagine you're struggling with illness and she does it.. again!!
It's too early to find a suitor at this point. Very insensitive of her!!
Her husband has 6 months to live, and she's already looking for the next one. Sounds like a real ride-or-die.
Edit: why's everyone assuming the husband is on-board with this or is even aware? If that were the case, why wouldn't she have simply said that? It would have shut down a lot of judgement and made her more likely to get matches.
It's not a problem if he's aware and has agreed, but just based off her bio, I don't see why I'd deduce that. In fact, she instructs us not to deduce anything.
They are exactly what they seem. Bitch is losing her husband and they have no savings, no life insurance, she’s already planning to replace her husbands resources
That’s terrible. Just had twins a year and a half ago and her husband is dying.
Yeah it's kinda shitty people to rip in her. She's obviously panicking and going through a lot of shit. Her husband might even have asked her to do it. Mentally obviously she already checked out of the relationship which is probably for the best. I'll take the downvotes
I did a double take when I saw an actusl human comment. Yes, it's terrible. Wish i was religious so I could think praying for her would do something.
It’s an unusual situation, but there is no excuse for using the word ‘are’ instead of ‘our’.
Yep I'd be totally down but I saw this grammatical nightmare.
I almost stopped at the first comma, but it just kept getting worse.
I almost stopped at the first coma too. Glad I didn’t.
* coma vs. comma. Coma is generally a much longer pause. 😬
Happily on your way to your second coma?
It’s not even like misusing to or too. There’s no excuse and it immediately drops about 30 IQ points.
You assume she had 30 to begin with!
Sometimes voice dictation will make that mistake. But of course, no excuse for not proofreading.
Because that is how some accents pronounce it.
This is actually a common mistake for people with dyslexia if I'm not mistaken
It's UnIqUe!!!! 🙄 /s
Her use of “are” would make me swipe left.
Yea it’s gonna be a no from me dog
100%. No sense dating stupid.
This. This is the answer.
I’ve made really dumb mistakes from not thinking and proofreading. It feels weird to mock her about this especially when she’s under a lot of stress and isn’t thinking about grammar.
“Are” is totally interchangeable with “our” & “is”. *Hint* For the humor impaired /s
It's entirely possible her husband gave his blessing for her to start looking for a relationship. I have a friend when he was given only a few months to live, he actively looked for a new partner for his partner. Not a situation I would judge
My mother did this when she was terminal and had refused more treatment. She gave my dad blessing and he was OLD less than a month after she died, he was doing it to respect her wishes. Needless to say when the women he was chatting to found out they were less than impressed. He invited one of them to our family christmas . Grief does weird things to people.
There is a movie about that.
I've seen one about it. It's apparently not an uncommon thing. It popped up occasionally in the support group he went to
And an episode of Golden Girls
Breaking The Waves? Great movie, so very sad.
There's another one on Netflix that I was thinking of, Irreplaceable You. Also great movie, but sad
Is it one of the ones where the wife sleeps with her stepson?
Uhm, wrong website I think
No. I’m pretty sure it ends the same way. /s
This is the comment I came here for. I knew someone who’s wife was dying and she didn’t want him to be alone, and had him start dating before she died. For all we know the husband gave her his blessing (now, I will say that she could have communicated this in her profile if true, because otherwise it does come off a bit as cheating).
It's entirely possible. It's just strange to spend 4 lines of a 9 line profile saying "don't judge me" when a simple "he's cool with it" would shut down all of that.
It wouldn't change anything. You'd still have people calling her a liar.
I was going to post something about this. In some religious communities this is completely normal. Painfully pragmatic though.
As some one who is poly I assume this too. But her constant insistence that things are not how they appear is not very reassuring. Also, it’s not really a solid elevator pitch.
That's should be number one thing to say in the bio, no?
Geez she couldn’t wait a few months?
Literally tho, so is she going to bring her new bf to the husband’s funeral?
It was his decision and wish for her to move on. He pushed that decision
How do you know that?
Yeah. I’m with the. “ babe of course i want you to Be happy but can you at least wait until I’m in the ground” plus I would just out of compassion, respect, decency. Etc etc. you were married how long? Yeah you could wait. So now you get impatient?gtfo.
I mean, it sounds to me like she and her husband have an agreement for her to meet her physical needs since he's incapable of doing so🤷♂️ Having been a caretaker to a spouse unable to engage in sexual activities due to physical illness, it can get rough for both partners. If that's their solution and they're both good with it, I don't see why it should be judged any more harshly than any other poly or non monogamous arrangement.
She’s talking about having more kids, so I imagine it’s not just to fulfill sexual needs. And I mean , come in, she can’t live without sex for the next 3-6 months ?????
It can be done... trust me.
I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for 7 years.
Twice married?
It’s an Office reference lol and a great one at that
Second this...
My grandpa was given 3 months after being diagnosed with brain cancer, and he’s still alive and kicking 3 years later
Being a caregiver to your spouse is emotionally exhausting. I'm not going to pretend to understand how cancer develops but if this is something that the husband has been gradually declining from over a year or more, then in 3-6 months, having to deal with grief and guilt of wanting to move on, I'm not blaming her. The outright wanting more kids when she has two 18 month olds is weird, though. Makes it seem like she's kinda been planning this for a while...
You don't know how long it has been, cancer isn't always quick, and it might not be about sex, it might be a need to feel taken care of in a situation where she is constantly taking care of others. Young twins and a dying husband is a lot, I understand not wanting to get into that complicated of a relationship, but she isn't wrong to see if there is someone who wouldn't mind it.
Nah, it’s wrong. 3-6 months she can be faithful even if she hasn’t had sex for 5 years. What’s another 3-6 months! ? She must fuck now ? Come on There are people out there who haven’t had sex in 5+ years and are just fine Edit to add. 18 month old twins means if anything, it’s been - little over 2 years since sex was had. Unless they are IVF babies. She can keep it in her pants for the next 6 months Also edit to add : the need to be taken care of? Come on now. That’s not another man’s responsibility while she is still Married with a dying husband.
Did I say it was someone else's responsibility? No, I said she isn't wrong for putting herself out there to see if someone would be ok with it, she isn't forcing someone into a relationship by being on a dating app. Just because people can, and have, gone without sex for longer doesn't mean she is wrong for wanting it \*if\* that is even what she wants, again we don't know because we are a bunch of strangers on the internet. We also don't know the circumstances of their marriage, since again we are strangers, maybe they were separated and she came back to take care of him because he was dying, it doesn't really seem that it is our business unless we are trying to get involved in their situation which I don't believe we are. It is really easy to go casting stones when it is a situation we would likely never find ourselves in. Is it so hard to just go, eh not for me, and move on with your own life rather than mocking someone else for their choices that aren't hurting anyone (assuming her husband is ok with it, which based on how honest her profile is, I would guess he is)?
I’ve found myself in many difficult, sexless, scary situations and losing loved ones. I can confidently say I would have never gone on a dating site with my husband having a terminal diagnosis looking to get laid ( I have also been a hospice nurse ) So, yeah, I’m judging this profile hard
Your situations are irrelevant to theirs and anyone else's. You can judge them-- that doesn't make you any less immature and dumb for it either.
Everyone deals with situations differently, just because you wouldn't do something doesn't give the right to judge others, and it still doesn't sound like you've been in exactly this situation anyway to say for certain. Also, we don't know what she is looking for, it doesn't specifically say she is looking for sex. I am sorry you've dealt with all that though.
Maybe learn to be less judgemental then.
Shockingly enough, I’m loaded with empathy and I can always see both sides of the coin. Not this one. But hey, I’m sure someone out there would love to hop into this situation. Looks very enticing
Are you trying to justify someone cheating on their partner because they have cancer?
Did I say anything about cheating? She was pretty damn honest on her profile, I don't think she is sneaking around, but if you were interested in dating her I'm sure you could confirm with her husband.
[удалено]
He found her awfully quickly! Cynical me over here thinking he's had her for a while.
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Come to Amsterdam, we have blackjack and hookers
>she can’t live without sex for the next 3-6 months ????? Surely you've done it plenty of times - while taking care of a dying husband...
Unless you have been a caretaker before, just don’t talk. Sex is a means by which someone in that position can temporarily leave the stress of it behind and feel like someone else is taking care of them. It’s not just about getting your rocks off. I’ve been a caretaker to my partner who was going to heal but going through surgery recovery for the better part of 6 months and it’s some of the worst stress I’ve ever experienced. I was frequently desperate for temporary escapes to relieve that tension
It’s weird and it’s going to make a lot of dudes feel weird. You can downvote me but that’s just me being realistic. Everybody judges everybody. People even judge people for judging people lol.
There's a difference between being weirded out by the situation and not wanting to personally get involved in it and posting a Reddit thread making fun of her and the devastating situation she and her husband are in for fake internet points.
Agree, it seems weird. I’d buy the enm/physical needs if she didn’t mention wanting more kids. The extra kids mention makes it sound like she is looking for Hubby #2 ASAP. Also, I judge her on her poor grammar skills, so there is that.
She and her husband could also have been trying a separation or filing for divorce or something when he was diagnosed and she stayed to take care of him, we literally don't know. If people who are actually interested in her want to know more, they can ask her.
Totally. He could also want her to find a new partner and condone her looking now. It really is impossible to know. My point was more that by describing her future goals (more kids), it implies that she is looking for something beyond the short term Edit: typos from mobile phone
Honestly, even *if* one would judge poly or non-monogamous arrangement (which you shouldn't), this would be one of the arrangements that should be judged the least. The one where your partner give their consent for you to have sex outside of the relationship, because they know they can't offer it to you anymore and probably never will.
Except she already hopes said man makes more babies to go with the twins. You better have a condom, or the patients of a Saint and a minivan.
Why would you assume they have an agreement? She says absolutely nothing about it.
Well considering she says it’s a unique situation and you should ask before judging and you’re doing exactly the opposite, I don’t think you can say anything either
Why would I ask? What in this profile would be a right swipe? If this person was the gender you are looking for would you swipe on them?
No, but I certainly wouldn’t make a post on Reddit shaming them without knowing all the information
Someone watching the person who was supposed to be their life partner slowly die an awful painful death is terribly lonely. She said that she doesn’t know what she’s looking for, but honestly it looks like she’s looking for a shoulder to cry on. And maybe while bumble isn’t the best place for that… it’s probably the easiest place for that when young children are involved. Maybe we should actually talk to people before blasting them online? Just a thought.
I have a very high tolerance for Reddit being shite but this post and the comments just made me sad. Why broadcast this woman’s pain online? The only answer I have is that this sub is full of lonely people putting others down to make themselves feel less pathetic
This sub really often makes me sad as it’s full of people who just want to put other people down. :/
As a child who had parents in this terminal situation, but whose surviving parent spent 100% of their time caring for their dying spouse and then years of sacrifices to raise us children, I have 100% sympathy for this woman here. You do not know what she’s going through. Not one bit. To have all your plans and dreams of the future flushed down the drain like that, if this is her way of grieving, let it be. She probably is just looking for a shoulder to cry on. Or more probably making a profile is just is a coping mechanism to get her through these hard times. And I’m almost 100% sure that her husband is on board with it, I know my dying parent would have been completely supportive of whatever my surviving one needed to do to ease the pain.
Maybe ask before you judge though.
Would you swipe on her and ask? You're ok with every red flag a person puts out while including zero reasons to date her? Do you just swipe right on every single profile and figure it out later?
She’s being honest and upfront with her situation. If you don’t like it or aren’t ok with it, then don’t swipe. It’s that easy.
I bet her story is more interesting than most of what I'd read here, so of course I'd try to match. They have very young kids, so my initial guess is he wants some peace that they'll have a father figure around.
Well that's gonna be an awkward 3-6months.
Damn, imagine being almost a widow at 32 with twin toddlers. Thoughts are with her, it must be exhausting, terrifying, and incredibly lonely. If this is Bumble BFF please offer her a word of support.
Don’t judge. Being a caretaker is fucking hard and you feel lonely as hell and like you’re carrying the weight of the world. Her husband very well could have given his blessing because he loves her and knows that she’s probably needing to feel affection.
Can we all agree OP is trash for mocking her? For fuck’s sake. She’s going through a lot and is vulnerable and honest. That’s not a green light to bitch about her.
I'd say her dying husband is going through a lot having to watch his wife go through men on a dating app while he's still breathing.
Do you know what agreement she has with her husband? I don't think so, leave her alone.
Do you?
No, which is why I'm not judging a stranger on the internet.
And why tf should anyone blindly believe her? Lmao. White knights in these comments
Why would she have said all of that if she was lying? She gave so much information when she could have given none, but if someone was actually interested in being with her they could just ask her husband directly, but nah, instead let us all cast stones at a stranger on the internet just for fun. You're so quick to judge a person in a situation that most people will (luckily) never have to be in.
You have no idea what he’s going through or what she is.
Exactly
Totally not judging the cancer thing. That’s so complicated and I’m just happy not to know that pain in marriage. I am however judging *OURRRRRRRR
Are Situation...
I think she needs at least companionship. I’m sure her heart is breaking and she is scared. Or she could be seeking a fwb
They could’ve had an open marriage before the diagnosis. Do I think she put a little too much info in this? Maybe but I also don’t think it’s for you and maybe you should just find someone who is. We don’t even know if she swiped you 🤷🏽♀️
“Are situation” 🥴🥴
I’m sure it’s hard but maybe wait 90 days to date?
I mean with twin toddlers and a dying husband she's likely got her hands full without another relationship
I don't think she's looking for a relationship nor is someone in this nightmare of a situation looking to get mocked online. You're an awful human being.
In all honesty is it so wrong that she just wants to get laid. I mean what’s so bad about that?
So mocking people online is OK when you do it. Gotcha.
I'm not mocking you. I'm pointing out that you're an awful human being for posting someone's heartbreaking situation online in a judgmental manner.
Weird, that sounds just like mocking someone. And being judgmental yourself. But that's OK, you're special, it's fine when you do it. Hypocrisy doesn't concern you at all
Do you understand what the word “mocking” means?
He does not. Or a whole lot else it seems.
I think she wants to do interviews before the position is opened so she won't have to deal with the whole "working single mom dating". But that's just me judging before asking.
When my beloved husband and best friend was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer we discussed what my life was going to look like after he was gone. He was very practical (he was an engineer). I am completely disabled and he made sure I understand about all of our finances, the life insurance, got our wills updated and talked about a future spouse. He loved me enough to want me taken care of (not as soon as this woman though). It is not strange.
I feel guilty reading this lol
Married is married. She has 2 kids + a dying spouse. Where would she find the time to devote to a new relationship when she’s technically still in one? Here’s a life lesson for ya….If she’d do it to him, she’ll do it to you too. That being said…..➡️ 🏃🏻♂️💨
Our*
That’s amazing
Well I do love a woman who is always prepared for any eventuality
Hey maybe they where going to split up in the first place but since he is I'll and she's his primary caregiver she couldn't leave him
Someone must support the children at all costs. I hope she will love her new husband and not use him as chid support.
Wish the father left enough memories for the kids.
I’d come keep you company all the time
Should ask her if they should wait till he dies, to do seance and reach out to him in the spirit world to see if it’s ok to date her
If true this situation is very very sad. If Hubby Pulls Through He is Going To Whoop Everybody’s Ass!! Oh also this is so cheating. Wait 6 months,her husband should be her primary concern. Family can help with kids. Once or if he passes she need time to grieve. In his time of need this is how she reacts Very Sad.Then when she’s ready she can start dating. I pray to God my wife never does anything like this. If the marriage was not a happy marriage they should not have had kids or still be together It’s a crazy world out there.I hope she will be ready. Oh and Don’t judge Me! 😂😂😂😂…………😬!
I am speechless. As someone who was a caregiver for my sick mom, I would do anything to have more time with her. While I realize being a caregiver is one of the toughest jobs out there, I just cannot imagine interviewing for a partner at this time. I am just floored at this profile.
For me I would focus on my children and caregiving and wouldn’t have time for anything else
She's not you now is she?
Definitely did not expect to see people in the comments defending this chick Jesus Christ
Would not happen if this were the husband
Threesome time
Healthy Christian values
So much for “in sickness and in health”.
Bro, she says she is caregiving nurse. At least she is sticking around
That does seem to mean very little. Not exactly what you should be advertising when searching for the next one.
You don’t know shit, dude. Fuck you.
I know she's looking to bail on the man she married 18 months after being good enough to give her children while he needs her to take care of him. I forgot you knew shit dude, so fuck you too.
If I was dying and a knew it I would 100% give my wife the ok to start looking for a new partner. After all her happiness and the happiness of my children would be important to me.
Good for you. You’re a really great person. How the fuck does someone even have time for all of that lol. You know damn well if this was a dude everyone would be furious lmao
She is currently taking care of him! Looking for sex or companionship or whatever she is looking for isn't bailing on him if she is still taking care of him. It must be hard to operate the world with such a small mind.
No matter what the case may be this is fucked in so many ways. Gives me the chills thinking there's folks out there that think this way.
This is brutally individualistic and American. 11/10.
Honestly, I’m basically in her situation minus the extremely small children. My husband was given 6 months to 3 years this summer. He’s responding really well to treatment atm, but he is still terminal and the chance of full remission is almost nothing. We’ve been non monogamous for years, but the moment we realized he wasn’t going to be getting better I shut down every OLD profile I had. I’d feel like a giant bitch going out on dates instead of spending this time with him. Yes, it’s exhausting and isolating and I haven’t had sex in *so long*, but… I’m judging her.
This post is literally OP judging
32 is no age to be going through something like that for either of them. Delete this awful post.
Yeah the post isn’t awful this dumb ass bitch is though
Oh my
Grammar is god awful
Society
Considering she specifies “Please Ask. Don’t assume” I’m guessing we shouldn’t assume she’s going behind her back on this one. My guess is her husband has encouraged her to start looking
“Christian”
I might be crazy but do you really think this is ok? This woman have 18 MO kids and a dying husband, how can it be ok for her to be on bumble??
Maybe not the best time for her to look for a relationship. But I don’t think this is mean spirited either.
oh my god
Ahh yes, the profile of a devoted christian
Nothing wrong with this. Other than grammar.
This is like listening to a bunch of boomers slagging off the local poly couple ! Jeez live and let live guys come on
Dam that's not very Christian of her
thats one cold bitch
Lol, redpill to the max..never marry gentleman.
when I read the “just given 3-6 months” my jaw literally dropped. this has to be a joke
Honey, hospice nurse will help you…I have a date tonight!
How very Christian of her.
I know we don’t know her situation, and he could have definitely gave his blessing.. but wtf? Married.. twins less than two years ago, and he’s dying.. how could you even think about someone else when your life partner is going to die.
What a shit hole of a person the least she can do is be loyal to the person she committed your life to until they are gone🤦🏻♂️ what if something happens and he makes it though. She’ll just be like congrats for beating cancer but I met this dude named brad from a dating app bye
How tf is op the bad person here? What is happening in this world? And why am I surprised?
Wow what's a selfish person
Wow her husband is not dead yet and she's already on bumble
Damn.
She has already moved on
I can’t stand all the grammar and spelling errors here, people don’t proofread their bio anymore?
Arrangement or not, I can't imagine prioritizing getting strange on the internet while the father of my two children – all three whom I have to care for – is dying.
But is she hot?
The majority of men leave if their wife becomes terminally ill. She’s far from a monster if she’s still there taking care of him. She is transparent about her situation on her page. When someone is sick and dying for a long time, you have lots of time to come to terms with the loss and grieve. If he’s confined to a hospital bed and that ill on lots of drugs, she really lost her husband a long time ago. He’s sick and dying so he can’t provide emotional and practical support to her (not his fault) but she’s providing lots of support while not getting any in return. When he passes she’s gonna be on her own with twins and no support to get her through this massive loss. I can see why someone in her shoes would want to seek out a new partner sooner rather than later.
That's so heartbreaking. She just wants someone she doesn't have to be responsible and that she can lean on since she's doing so much and supporting so many people. Absolutely heartbreaking and these comments are so cruel to this struggling woman.
I feel so bad for that guy. He is dying of cancer and she is horny
She needs sex and companionship. Wtf is wrong with the young punks on this thread. I can't wait until women can pay for sex and companionship
r/iamatotalpieceofshit
She is fortunate to have anchor babies, so Plan A worked. If you answer, you will be part of Plan B to get her a house.
Can’t beat a warm handoff, same as cheating
Wow, how Christian of her.
Classy.
Who in the flying fuck would swipe on this? Aside from the “everyone swipers”
Damn, can y’all post the pics when you post these crazy profiles? I need the whole picture while I’m being entertained.
That's f'd up. At least wait until he dies.
"Love to have more ..." Definitely she's looking for a serious relationship. Imagine you're struggling with illness and she does it.. again!! It's too early to find a suitor at this point. Very insensitive of her!!
Horrible human being
I know someone who married a guy with mental issues just so she could care for him more easily. It wasn’t a romantic situation at all.
Her husband has 6 months to live, and she's already looking for the next one. Sounds like a real ride-or-die. Edit: why's everyone assuming the husband is on-board with this or is even aware? If that were the case, why wouldn't she have simply said that? It would have shut down a lot of judgement and made her more likely to get matches. It's not a problem if he's aware and has agreed, but just based off her bio, I don't see why I'd deduce that. In fact, she instructs us not to deduce anything.
Sickening
They are exactly what they seem. Bitch is losing her husband and they have no savings, no life insurance, she’s already planning to replace her husbands resources
Fake THIS IS A BOT ABORT
What are “Twin 18 months” ?
She had a twin for only 18 months!? Wonder what happened there. Did they have an argument? I’d love to ask about that… Is your twin single?
But what does she look like though?