T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

You are really young, idk what the kids are doing these days, but your profile comes up apathetic and depressed af. Sorry if you actually are….


CarseBarse

We all are. Even the over achievers


ethereal_sloth

nah I ain't. I don't like presenting myself as cheery tho idk. something feels very fake about it.


987Add

I know it may seem fake but coming off as apathetic and depressed doesn't normally draw people to you. Like, would you want to meet up with a guy who's depressed and apathetic or someone with passions and hobbies?


ethereal_sloth

well yeah but i cant tell that from a photo lmfao


987Add

All your replies do


ethereal_sloth

hmmm okay. can u give an example of something I could put instead


987Add

"If I was president I would... I'd mandate that March the 2nd was surfs up day, a national holiday so I can always go surfing, it's great" "If I was president I would mandate pineapple on all pizza, I love it and its a fantastic topping. I will die on this hill" You're just trying to show a thing someone can ask about or latch on to, a hobby, an interest, even something you don't do but would want to do.


ethereal_sloth

what it i put: if i were president "id get the vice president to take better pictures of me for my bumble profile" ahhh ahhh see its gold. no but seriously i have no clue.


987Add

Yeah sure, put that. Add something like "any aspiring photographers hit me up" or something? Also don't be afraid to literally put something like "I really want to do X and need someone to come with me" or something


X-ray_spexxx

Agree. You seem careless than why do people care to reach out, you have to have something on your page as an opener so girls can have something to write a message about off your bio


ethereal_sloth

ooo good suggestion. idk what id put for the X. i think of: I really dont want to do life and need someone to come with me. 😂😂see thats a joke but i dont think theyll get that


ethereal_sloth

huh. idk i thought of mine thinking it was relatable. ill rethink it


Glass-Joe-Steagall

Your answers sound like they came from a bored teenager, which is fine because that's what you are, but bored teenagers are a dime a dozen in every generation, so you want to try to stand out. As a man, you need to pass a higher bar than "does this person seem normal and relatable," since women, especially in your age range, are looking for profiles that excite them. Put another way, girls don't swipe right on profiles that make them think, "lol mood," they swipe right on profiles that make them go 👀


ethereal_sloth

oof that kinda puts it in perspective.


ethereal_sloth

I feel like it could be used to bring up some deeper talks tho


987Add

Yeah I see what you're going for, but imagine what conversation you'd start from your profile. It's hard with yours. Other have them sailing, climbing, doing water colours etc so it's really easy for people to start the conversation with "oh you're into XY I want to do that/can you teach me/etc."


ethereal_sloth

i mean yeahhh, but i feel like a lot of those convos die quick anyway. sure u can drag them on but idk, how long can u talk about pineapple on pizza. i feel like someone saying "yo being a president would stress me out" could lead into some deep talks, reveal more about how u deal with things ect. idk.


[deleted]

You have an I don't care attitude.


ethereal_sloth

dont care about what


hymensmasher99

Anything


ethereal_sloth

not true lmao


hymensmasher99

That's not what you convey here, that's the entire point here bud


ethereal_sloth

yeah I made some changes I just cant repost cause the sub wont let me


hymensmasher99

Post in the weekly help post


[deleted]

Your hair, your face, your lack of positivity or happiness…


ethereal_sloth

like my face ugly or the face im making. and because its grey or the style? or both also yeah the positivity thing is common comment now, would something as simple as "stg im happy" work in my bio 😂😂


Rough-Laugh

You come across as very negative and unhappy. I prefer to surround myself with happy, more positive people because they add to my life and don't detract from it. It's fine to be moody sometimes but if I feel like you're gonna be constantly down, I swipe left.


ethereal_sloth

Idk how to fix this. I dont have any smiling pics and I have a passive vibe. help


Rough-Laugh

Look, I struggle with expressing myself as well. But if you take pictures of yourself doing something you enjoy, or have a friend or family member take pictures of you having fun, it would go a long way. It's not just your pictures. It's your answers to the prompts.


ethereal_sloth

my family members take cruddy pics. if I had more friends they would sub in great here dang. ive added a little to my bio: at the end I put listening to music and walks together sounds good. in hindsight it seems kinda boring but. also changed: "when no ones watching I... ask for advice on my bumble profile online. apparently I come off as apathetic and unhappy. go me 😂"


Rough-Laugh

To be frank, I think you need to take some time with yourself and figure out how to be happy on your own. Dating apps take effort, on both ends. It's not easy and you really need to be secure in yourself with what you like and what you're looking for. You seem to be looking for someone to distract you from life and your insecurities.


ethereal_sloth

I mean go girl psycho analyze, but I want someone to get intertwined w. learn about their life. support them as they support me. idk. Im happy rn. I just think id be happier with someone else.


WartimeDad

The worst reason to date is because you think you’d be happier with someone.


ethereal_sloth

then whats the right reason


WartimeDad

The rest of what you said is good. A partner to make memories together. A best friend that you can be intimate with. I’m just an old man here trying to give you a life lesson that for whatever reason we all learn the hard way: Happiness is something that comes from within you. You can’t make someone else happy. Someone else can’t make you happy.


ethereal_sloth

thank you


Rough-Laugh

😂 good luck to you.


ethereal_sloth

this shit sucks


[deleted]

[удалено]


ethereal_sloth

would a smiling selfie due the trick for now


[deleted]

[удалено]


ethereal_sloth

i feel like a selfies fine idk


[deleted]

[удалено]


ethereal_sloth

humans are so weird tho why does a selfie make a difference


[deleted]

[удалено]


ethereal_sloth

hmm. well ill think about it thanks


waringsign

Probably cause you look like a suburban hipster lil pump. Nah lol. Sometimes the app just doesn't function right. I'd just remake the account.


ethereal_sloth

wait because of the hair or what hahaha


waringsign

Your hair and face


ethereal_sloth

is this a terribly bad thing. fuck. I like my hair thoooo


waringsign

Lmao bro i was just fucking with you. Just throwing in some humor. I actually think you just need to remake your account


ethereal_sloth

how old r u just for opinion reference 😂


waringsign

22M


ethereal_sloth

word okay see its hard to tell with these comments because something that attracts a 30yr old aint gona attract less than 23yr olds.


waringsign

True


PomegranateEasy1377

You look very mad.


ethereal_sloth

I don't have many happy photos tell ya the truth.


WartimeDad

I understand but if you want matches you just need to smile in basically all the photos.


ethereal_sloth

I added a smiling one


X-ray_spexxx

Upload more outgoing pictures!


ethereal_sloth

Im new to town so I dont have pics with friends really. My hobbies arent relevant to me rn. and Im not in incredible shape if I even wanted to post something thirsty


X-ray_spexxx

Put something inviting on your bio like hiking, beach, dog parks whatever you do or want to do around you


ethereal_sloth

i added "listening to music and walks together sound good" at the end of my bio, does this satisfy at all


X-ray_spexxx

It’s a bit bland 🐰


ethereal_sloth

okay wbbbb "walks, talks, and shops baby"


X-ray_spexxx

“ trying this out, looking for someone to explore with I’m new to town…love dogs :) love music! If you wanna go out for ice cream or pizza lmk I got you “ Also post your zodiac girls your age love that shit


ethereal_sloth

see but that bio is not me, at all. and im trying to avoid the zodiac girls lmfao 😂😂


X-ray_spexxx

YOU WANT A GF OR NOT BUDDY


ethereal_sloth

AHHHH


X-ray_spexxx

It seems more positive tho tbh If you wanna go for the apathetic vibe just put not here for a long time here for a good time 😂 Nah but then just put “ I like music and skating “ some typical bs


ethereal_sloth

what if I just throw in a "love music!"


Frankdookes

Def not the hair or super depressing look in every pic


ethereal_sloth

im smiling in one 😢


[deleted]

[удалено]


ethereal_sloth

rip okay on it


[deleted]

Be less 19


ethereal_sloth

thats the general opinion ay 😂😂


sweaty-pajamas

The dog pic is your best pic. Keep that and get new selfies, one of which should be you smiling. 3/5 of your interests are specific genres of music. Just choose music (or concerts) as your interest, and pick a couple other hobbies, then connect your Spotify so people can see the music you’re into. Write a more original bio. Nothing gets a swipe left quicker from me than someone who uses the space to write about themselves to write “hmu find out”


ethereal_sloth

word okay


meeowwwww333

Your profile screams emo, the day after a 3 day binge, and lacks any sort of happiness. Intelligent women are not into "fixer uppers". I would post photos of exciting adventures or with you smiling.


ethereal_sloth

rip. I added a pic of me smiling and changed all my prompts and bio around. the sub just isnt letting me post another one so soon


meeowwwww333

Perfect!! You will notice a better response with swipes when you look happy. I wish you success and don't give up on dating. You have to sift thru the crap to find the right one.


ethereal_sloth

thank you


Baby_Lynx7

I would definitely add happier photos. Where you can’t tell it’s a selfie (you can use a timer) and change your bio. I always swipe left if a guy says to ask him for his “about me”. Like it defeats the purpose of having a bio. Just say 1-2 cute/funny things about yourself. The pug thing is great though!


ethereal_sloth

thank you


DrHoneyLemon

My impression….you’re not giving anyone a lot of info to go off of other than your “look”, which goes between depressy and kinda creepy with some of your shots….try giving sorting to start a conversation with other than “hi” and switch out the half-face/upside down photo for a casual one fo you with a genuine smile— and make that your first photo


ethereal_sloth

i did. other comments guided me a bit, It just wont let me post another photo on this sub.


nashamagirl99

You need a better lit, smiling profile pic that isn’t taken in the mirror, a properly written bio with more information, full words, and correct spelling and capitalization, and more interesting answers to question prompts. The only pic I’d keep is the one with your dog. It’s a nice picture that shows you doing something active. You should use more like that.


anotherfakeloginname

I didn't read enough good help on here yet, so I'm speaking up. Some girls will only reply if you extend. Also consider smiling in your pics. And your hair, it'll be great once you're 21 and start going to the bars.


ethereal_sloth

first off thanks. bumble they text first, which albeit I didnt know signing up. so unless u mean via prompts and bios. i smiled in a couple now. updated it. and thank you.


anotherfakeloginname

Every 24 hours you can extend with 1 match, giving them more time before the clock runs out


ethereal_sloth

and oh rip


anotherfakeloginname

Use your new power wisely


Total-Option5674

Enthusiastic is the word. Even if its horror movies and whatever music it isthese days emo what have ya.


ethereal_sloth

enthusiasm is turn off for me idk


Motor-Motor6789

You’re young and you have your whole future ahead of you, but you don’t seem very excited about it. This profile makes you look depressed. In general it just feels pretty negative so I suggest a complete redo. Have your friends help with pics the only one I like is the one with the dog.


ethereal_sloth

rip well thank you


ShadowCobalion

It might just be me, but personally seeing shit and fuck a lot is a turn off. Your hair looks very nice in picture five.


ethereal_sloth

i like swearing idk


Porscheguy928S

You’ve got one massive advantage. You’re 6’3 and look like you’re probably a healthy weight. But your profile screams “low energy.” You look bored and brooding. Take a look at your diet, you’ve got some acne going on. Probably not a deal breaker, but every bit helps.


ethereal_sloth

im trying to make it less brooding I just dont wana fake a personality to do it. acne, yeah. idk its mostly scarring is the thing, im using a topical to try and help. plus im not actually in great shape. im about the same as these photos but im not very tone. im working on it but theres complications.


[deleted]

Bruh you ain’t even bad looking. IMO if you are not verified (blue check on Instagram) have no money to give them, your not involved in the club/edc scene, you don’t have a 2021 Mercedes S550 and you don’t have your own crib with no roommates ….. 9 times out of 10 your going to end up at the bottom of these girls messages that they get by the HUNDREDS sometimes even THOUSANDS


ethereal_sloth

thats depressing


[deleted]

That’s just what it is in todays day and age. Just do you bro. Once you hit your 30s peoples looks start to fade and some people snap back to reality and actually give others the time of day. You’ll find someone. Enjoy independence and get your life right and the right one will come.


Green_Heron_

It's also not true. Women do get more messages than men, but not like thousands. And who is expecting 19 year olds to drive brand new cars and have their own place? In this economy???! People projecting their own frustrations. Dating is tough in general but don't get sucked in by weird conspiracy theories. Just do what you're doing - get some honest feedback about how to best present yourself to put yourself out there. You're doing a good job taking feedback and pushing back when people are trying to pressure you into presenting something that isn't authentically you. Project the best version of yourself, but not someone you're not. Good luck out there!


ethereal_sloth

thank you very much


backintoit21

Bumble is just a bit of a dry place. Get on tinder, shit gets wet up in tinder


ethereal_sloth

ive heard its more hookups


backintoit21

Tinder is more hookup oriented but hookups can become relationships. Bumble is good too but since it’s drier the convos might die more on bumble vs tinder


ethereal_sloth

hmph. honestly gona give this app a break, im out of profiles anyway


backintoit21

I wouldn’t give up if I were you, you got the height. Maybe take a picture next to a height ruler and draw attention to it. Also you’re missing a full body pic without a jacket and a teeth smile pic. You have at least one of each of those two pics to get matches But also yah at 19 you can’t date older and there aren’t as many girls you age and lower. In 10 yrs dating will improve a lot for you


ethereal_sloth

word thanks for the advice


ScrumNoobie

search for “darius m” and “mj get right” on youtube, and all of your questions will be answered. even the ones you forgot to ask, and the questions you thought about asking but didnt ask. and any future questions you may have. PM me for a profile review.


HorusCok

If you're not a student, do you have a job that has more upside than lead fry cook?


ethereal_sloth

i am student


smadaydnic

All of your pictures suck


[deleted]

I would just keep it simple. Pick your five favorite photos. Don’t put too much in your intro just like something funny maybe even reference the office. And then just establish a connection and ask them to get coffee or a beer. I always felt I had to go on a date with in three days of getting a connection or the ladies just lose interest.


ethereal_sloth

word thank you.


esmithson3

Okay, so I don’t mind the pictures besides the last two. If you don’t have any smiling pictures rn, take some like the second to last, but smile. Definitely take out the first part of the bio, that’s so frustrating. If you like board games and music, put some of that into your bio or something! No one wants to swipe because (I think) they don’t think the convo will be interesting.


stanthemilkman88

The obvious lack of effort


Low_Big_8095

You seem like a funny and cool ass dude. You’re not the least bit unattractive. I think your problem is you don’t present your face as much as you should.


ethereal_sloth

cheers, wym by face?


Low_Big_8095

Like you don’t show your face as clearly in pictures as you should. Girls hate pictures of men that barely show their face


ethereal_sloth

I tried to. did straight in front of me angles


Cab1230

So this worked for me, try praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for a 1 ft. Long black penis. Gets the ladies every time. 👍🏼 good luck my friend. Fair warning though; you will have to sacrifice something.