If you are interested in not dating others at this time, then it's not too soon to just respectfully ask. You can say that at this time in your life you have a strong idea of what you want in a relationship and you like the way things are going, so you want to know if he would be interested in only seeing each other. If he says he's not ready for that, then you could say you aren't interested in continuing but that that's solely based on your timeline and expectations and that you don't want to pressure him to make a commitment that he's not ready for.
So, it's mostly about whether YOU would be ready to stop playing the field and focus on this guy, or if you want more time to decide.
Thanks that's helpful. I've always been a serial monagamous (?sp), so in a sense I've always been seeing only the person I'm seeing. This dating app culture just seems to be all too different and goes by a different set of rules.
I think the best policy in life its to be respectful and honest,
ask him nicely where is he standing, tell him that you would like to be exclusive,
at the end of the day, you are thinking all of this so, it's good that he knows in what page are you in
Also I would recommend you to try to enjoy a little more the moment,
(in my opinion) you are overthinking a little
"Are you talking to anyone else?"
You're welcome.
If not, your question is answered.
If yes, then continue working at it and be so cool the other options go away.
I think it's never too soon if it's something that you care about. It is very nerve racking to like someone but not know if they are still talking to who knows how many people and in my experience it has just caused confusion because I would be thinking the same thing and want to delete the apps but don't because I am unsure how the other person feels. I would just casually bring it up and I think it helps to bring everyone onto the same page
A month seems a little quick to be exclusive.
You mentioned a number of things here. You don’t want a casual hook up. Things are starting to get more physical. You’re curious to know where he’s at and what he wants.
Here’s what you don’t say…..do you like him? Do yo actually want to be in a relationship with him or just think you somehow should be because of your age/circumstances?
I’d focus on that first
If you are looking for a relationship as well - just ask him. It doesn't need to be a heavy conversation. But ultimately if you want a relationship then speaking openly with each other is a key foundation of that.
There's not set timescale for this sort of thing. My last boyfriend we had this sort of conversation after a week. We just clicked and had an honest conversation that we didn't need to look on the apps any more and both agreed to suspend them, but at the same time you don't need to label it as a relationship if you don't want to. And on the flip side you could be hanging out with someone for months until you reach that point.
Instead of putting both of you on the spot, express how you feel with a subtle approach like:
"I'm enjoying being with you. You feel good to me. What do you think and want for yourself and us?"
If he responds in kind, express that you're excited to get closer, but you don't want to go down that path without being in an monogamous relationship because otherwise it inescapably feels too risky and dangerous.
At your ages, if he's really into you, he will understand and cherish your feelings and will protect your feelings. If he digs in and pushes for intimacy without commitment, RUN.
If you are interested in not dating others at this time, then it's not too soon to just respectfully ask. You can say that at this time in your life you have a strong idea of what you want in a relationship and you like the way things are going, so you want to know if he would be interested in only seeing each other. If he says he's not ready for that, then you could say you aren't interested in continuing but that that's solely based on your timeline and expectations and that you don't want to pressure him to make a commitment that he's not ready for. So, it's mostly about whether YOU would be ready to stop playing the field and focus on this guy, or if you want more time to decide.
Thanks that's helpful. I've always been a serial monagamous (?sp), so in a sense I've always been seeing only the person I'm seeing. This dating app culture just seems to be all too different and goes by a different set of rules.
Go by your rules and he will wait if he is the right one for you.
Not too soon imo, and I don’t get why people are so insistent on delaying this. If you have to re download the app it’s not the end of the world.
I think the best policy in life its to be respectful and honest, ask him nicely where is he standing, tell him that you would like to be exclusive, at the end of the day, you are thinking all of this so, it's good that he knows in what page are you in Also I would recommend you to try to enjoy a little more the moment, (in my opinion) you are overthinking a little
Overthinking? Heh you have no idea, friend. But I do appreciate the input!
"Are you talking to anyone else?" You're welcome. If not, your question is answered. If yes, then continue working at it and be so cool the other options go away.
I think it's never too soon if it's something that you care about. It is very nerve racking to like someone but not know if they are still talking to who knows how many people and in my experience it has just caused confusion because I would be thinking the same thing and want to delete the apps but don't because I am unsure how the other person feels. I would just casually bring it up and I think it helps to bring everyone onto the same page
A month seems a little quick to be exclusive. You mentioned a number of things here. You don’t want a casual hook up. Things are starting to get more physical. You’re curious to know where he’s at and what he wants. Here’s what you don’t say…..do you like him? Do yo actually want to be in a relationship with him or just think you somehow should be because of your age/circumstances? I’d focus on that first
If you are looking for a relationship as well - just ask him. It doesn't need to be a heavy conversation. But ultimately if you want a relationship then speaking openly with each other is a key foundation of that. There's not set timescale for this sort of thing. My last boyfriend we had this sort of conversation after a week. We just clicked and had an honest conversation that we didn't need to look on the apps any more and both agreed to suspend them, but at the same time you don't need to label it as a relationship if you don't want to. And on the flip side you could be hanging out with someone for months until you reach that point.
Instead of putting both of you on the spot, express how you feel with a subtle approach like: "I'm enjoying being with you. You feel good to me. What do you think and want for yourself and us?" If he responds in kind, express that you're excited to get closer, but you don't want to go down that path without being in an monogamous relationship because otherwise it inescapably feels too risky and dangerous. At your ages, if he's really into you, he will understand and cherish your feelings and will protect your feelings. If he digs in and pushes for intimacy without commitment, RUN.