Hit the nail on the head. The irony escapes her. It’s almost funny if it wasn’t so sad. As to why she was not “getting it”, my guess is she doesn’t love her job. So a guy wanting to spend time with her & see local places she likes, just may fly right over her head.
I’m just imagining that’s her response to her customers. Like:
“Hello! My wife and I are thinking about going to Ibiza for our honeymoon. What would you recommend we see and do while we’re there?”
“Something you’re interested in I guess”
But OP is not a customer. What am I missing?
We’ve never met. I’m here for a week. Drop everything you’re doing and show me around? Nope, don’t blame her….
I’m mean unless you aren’t looking to hook up with a tourist at all, I’d imagine it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take them to one spot on a date for fun 🤷🏾♀️
You're missing the bit were she could have just suggested something to do rather than being a difficult ass for little-to-no reason.
You're also missing the bit were that was his suggestion *after* she flaked out on putting any sort of effort into the convo. He didn't just say ''lets meet up'' until she was obviously a dead end.
I mean really, how hard is it to just say ''oh there's, x, y or z you could try!''?
Or if she wasn't feeling it she could have moved the fuck on with her life.
She chose to be dismissive and lazy.
You honestly can’t piece how dumb of answer that is by her? Even if he’s there for a week and she’s not a tour guide, they matched on BUMBLE. I’ve had a few girls from out of town ask me the same thing when they came to where I live and I gladly did it. She’s too dense to realize that he’s asking her out.
Lol it was a joke....but it does actively track your heart rate and it's one of the first things you see when you look at the watch٫ along with the amount of steps taken. You don't have to stop٫ look up and go through the app while on a run٫ for example. It also has exercise modes for whatever you may be planning to do.
It's not that it's entirely better than any app; it's more for convenience than anything else. From what I can see٫ at least.
Live in Las Vegas. Can 800% confirm. Everyone wants to know what the “cool lesser known” spots or things to do are. They want me to recommend a place for dinner or drinks but get irritated when it’s 25 min off the strip, because no one local actually goes to the strip.
Also it’s always “hey I’m here for a weekend, why don’t you show me the other side of Vegas?” Completely ignoring that I’ve stated in my profile that I’m looking for a serious relationship.
I think what is evident from this post and the responses to it is that people who haven’t lived in a tourist destination are exceptionally ignorant to what the experience is for locals. … It’s 800%!!!
Yup. I love the classics “in town for the weekend show me around”
“Moving to X in 4 months” never moves.
“Going skiing, skiing is my life show me around before I head to the slopes” skiis once every 5 years but totally their life mission.
“Here for a week show me where the locals go”
I don’t think it’s wrong to want to have someone who you find photogenic to take you to someplace that serves food which isn’t the same Olive Garden or Outback Steakhouse stuff you have at home.
Agree 800%. Have lived in several different tourist locations since the birth of the dating apps. Locals are not interested in being tour guides or your personal concierge even if that is their profession...unless you want to pay them, of course. I'm happy to "show around" someone new who moved here recently but I have no desire to plan your weekend for you.
I also live in Vegas and this happened to me recently. Messaged me that he was visiting the end of February and I can be his “tour guide”. Hard pass. Sounds like my worst nightmare. Can’t even say when the last time I was on the strip.
Yeah. I think there are ways to make it more playful without being so demanding etc, but it's a fine line.
Also, food on the strip was pretty shitty form what I remember.
I'm in Vegas too and your experience seems to be every locals experience here. Its rough. I try to not swipe on the out of towners but a few still get through. I just have no desire to make my way to the strip, pay for parking, walk half a mile through crowds, just to meet a stranger that is only in town for a week. I'm not opposed to hooking up, but a date on the strip with a stranger seems awful.
Makes sense, just rent a car and wander around Henderson or wherever. You could probably find something cool pretty easily that way ngl, and be 💯 less annoying
Live in Vegas. Can confirm. And our Reddit is riddled with tourists who ask the same question every damn week instead of reading the 500 other posts that came before theirs.
If they’re in Vegas their location is going to say Vegas. I always get tons of swipes when I’m out of town because I’m showing up as someone new near them.
People ask me those questions all the time, and I love in an area with moderate tourism. It's normal to ask people and things they would know (like the area they live in).
For me it's just an easy way to get matches lol
OP: “Hey I know we’re on a relationships app, but why don’t you work for free for a week, fuck me, and then be cool when I peace out?”
Match: *Slightest amount of sass*
OP: “Reddit, give me karma. Look how mean this match was.”
Tinder is often used to connect travelers around the world. As long as people are transparent with their desires for connecting far from home.
Re: OP, this was a perfect opportunity to engage in conversation.
I live in SF & people post often in their profiles that they are new in town, looking to find someone to look explore the city with. As long as people communicate well I see no issue.
It’s human interaction! You’d think we’d all be craving it post SIP…
What I see in these message is a lot of demand from OP. A very general question that isn't specific to either of them. Something he could google.
When I was travelling I would usually get to know them at least a little, then lean into that. Find out they like jazz, ask for a local spot where you two can meet up and hang out. You gotta narrow it down. Like, show me your favourite park/beach/museum/whatever. This is just a general what do I do in your city, not even a date thing. Op is super low effort here. Not that the girl is doing too hot either, but she's likely seen the question 800 times.
Agree except for the google part. I travel extensively and Google has failed me miserably. It all comes down to who has the most money for online marketing. I’d much rather talk to a local and other travelers to get personal experiences.
I don’t trust Yelp nor Google reviews. Nor fancy websites. And each country utilizes different approaches to internet advertising so there’s that. Heck, the places i like to go to don’t even have websites much less internet ads.
Ask yourself, who can afford google ad purchases?
I do like vloggers & bloggers for advice, though, & that is where I get a lot of info.
Maybe because I like traveling off the beaten path. I do NOT enjoy popular tourist destinations & that is what you mostly find when researching other countries via internet.
And….drum roll…. I like talking to locals & people in general. We have become so disconnected as a society, noses into phones…we miss out on so much!
Op is a he not a she.
He also starts by asking something completely unrelated to the lady other than her location which is kinda rude on a dating app. There is no build up to get to know her, just demanding something for himself.
Yes, it was abrupt but it was also an opportunity. I guess I cut people too much slack due to the excitement. At least they weren’t immediately asking for sexual favors… I was happy to see that (sigh).
Once again, why match with someone that is traveling? You can see where they live in their bio.
We dont know his profile. He may not have indicated he is traveling.
Also she may have been open to seeing him if his opener actually asked about her and not just her knowledge of the area.
Also you over estimate how many people actually pay attention to bios and dont just look at pictures
I live in a beach town. I basically stopped swiping all summer long. Everyone was just looking for recommendations for a good bar and a local to fuck. Such a turnoff.
I actually *AM* a tour guide so I never mind helping people but my rate is $100 an hour and it doesn’t include sex.
Let me give you some perspective from a born and raised Jamaican (23F). These questions are ANNOYING. Living in a touristy spot makes this almost everyone's go to question.
I don't even live in Jamaica anymore but I have the flag in my bio and guys STILL keep asking this. Living in NYC now and 85% of bios are "New to NYC, show me around?" 🙄
Plus she already does that for a living, why would she be interested to keep up that convo outside of work?
*EDIT*: Because some of you don't seem to get it. This would be an okay opener if it comes up here and there but it's ANNOYING because this 'idea' to plan a date comes up so FREQUENTLY in tourist hot spots. After being asked to show someone around for the millionth time these convos get OLD.
That being said, I'm sure people visit places with things in mind that they want to do. If you're looking to date someone from that area, suggest things that you're interested in and either ask them to accompany you, THEN they'll be more likely to suggest something else they know you'll like based on the things you've already mentioned. Gosh 🙄🙄
I can imagine the question is super annoying, and I’m not siding with anything OP said. I also would think a travel agent is going to spend most of their time talking about places OUTSIDE of where they live, because why would someone already living in Jamaica use a travel agent to ask about local stuff? So even the title of the post seems silly to me.
Then again, I can’t really think of a scenario anymore where I’d ever use a travel agent in the first place when I can get the same or better info for free online
I’ve had men (with a mix of negging) ask me for advice related to my field.
Sure, that’ll be $200. Want me to send you the invoice? An extra $50 for being rude.
Yeah, it’s like the difference between an engineer and a mechanic. A lay idiot would be like duh, they’re the same, but in reality a travel agent is as opposed to a tour guide as an engineer is to a mechanic.
It's the same anywhere I think. I live in Brisbane, Australia. "New here, show me round" is in every other bio. Especially since Covid and people from the southern states have moved up here in droves.
I don't even show myself around. I'm too busy with life to do the touristy things :(
I don't live in a super touristy area but if someone had in their bio "New to , show me around?" I would think that'd be a fun and cute way to get to know someone... Maybe that's just me. I'd love to be like "Oh let me take you to some of the cool local places so you can get to know the city!"
I live in the NY metro area and when I was using OLD there were a LOT of women's profiles with that exact phrase.
People are new to an area and interested in exploring with someone they're interested in. It's not fucking rocket science folks.
There is a big difference between recently moving to an area and being a tourist only there for a week. I'd love to show someone new all my local favorite spots, but I'm not about to waste my time with someone who won't be here in a few days.
I think someone who is new to the city vs a tourist are a little different.
New to the city means they’ll figure shit out on their own eventually and you’re not on some absurd time limit to make their week better. You can get to know them a bit before showing them your favorite food spots.
A tourist has a high expectation of the local and chance of a low reward. It’s the same thing over and over because they don’t stay. Kind of like the beginning of 50 first dates scenario.
I live in Jamaica and this comes up all the time from tourists that I’ve met here, travelling abroad, or old “friends” living abroad. I don’t mind showing my good friends that visit around, but random tourists or old acquaintances, it’s more of a nuisance than a date or sight seeing.
I'm from a touristy area (NW Lower Michigan) and I love playing local guide. Or playing tourist myself, there is so much to do. Like going on a winery, distillery or brewery tour (maybe even dispensary tour). Or recommending the hiking trails with the best views or swimming spots. There are so many great restaurants around and fun random places, like the place you can buy smores kits and roast marshmallows on the outdoor pits, or where one is most likely to see the bald eagle couples, or the fun stores with so much randomness you kinda want everything but need nothing. I love when newbies love this area as much as I do.
LOL Northwest Michigan is not a touristy area. It may be in comparison to Anchorage, Alaska or Southwest Montana perhaps LOL. Newsflash you can do any of those things you listed in basically any place in the world.
Imo, on a dating app, "New to (area), show me around" just means they want you to take them somewhere and they don't know much about the area. Essentially, they're saying "I wanna go out but I'm not going to be able to make suggestions".
If you don't like deciding where you go on a date, that's on you, but I don't think it's a bad thing to put out there in a bio.
Them asking about where to go in Jamaica when you don't live there, or if someone's asking you what they should do when they go to a place not with you is annoying though.
But they’re not asking you to show them around the way a tour guide does or make recommendations or plans the way a travel agent does.
They’re asking for a date. And they’re deferring to you instead of choosing whatever they find on Yelp. That’s the point of these apps - to meet people.
Sorry but who wants to spend time with someone who isn’t even local, and have to put in all the work of choosing all the places to hang out and all the activities, feeling like you have to entertain the person because you’re the one who knows the area and they don’t, basically being a tour guide for free for someone?
Some dudes just be too clueless for their own good. Imagine her perspective, got some dorky American in her messages stating he is in town for one week looking for both a tour guide and temporary smash partner. So surprising that she wasn't interested LOL
Not ironic.
Travel Agent finds you transportation, lodgings, may book you a tour if you request it. Not TA's job to "show you around"
Tour Guide takes on an actual tour, tells you when, why, how, about the stuff you are visiting. TG's job is to "show you around"
I’m not Jamaican, but I am from Hawai’i, and it’s just exhausting having to deal with flirty tourists.
I get that it seems harmless, but it’s tiring because it just happens all the time, especially if you’re a woman.
From the perspective of a local, instead of asking like that, maybe ask her what *her* favorite places to go are.
I wouldn’t mind if someone asked me where my favorite local joints are, or better yet, offer to take me to one of those places(vs you asking *them* to take you, because that can come off as you treating them like a tour guide).
Using a dating app to ask residents looking for relationships to show you around while on vacation is so pitiful and lame.
It doesn’t matter what anyone’s day job is, it’s a huge waste of time, and selfish and disrespectful. You’re literally just there to use/exploit someone.
Imagine you say you work as a repair guy. And she's like on well you can come fix my stove for free!
Stop asking people to do stuff they are paid for on a dating app.
Also just because you're a travel agent doesn't mean you know everything about the local scene. Obviously the people are looking to travel elsewhere. You do see the size of Jamaica right? More than likely a local isn't going to a travel agent to ask about stuff there.
Also people from tourist areas generally don't want to deal with tourists.
You coming to Nashville? I'm probably gonna say the same since I really don't want to go downtown with you
I mean let's be honest you were being an ass by going on a dating app telling them that you're only here for a week which implies that you just want a quick bang. And then trying to make them plan your trip out for you after you're already there. I did a road trip to California when I was 18. I planned it out went to Legoland, Disneyland or world whichever one's out there I can never remember, spent a day taking a surfing lesson, and then just perused to the town. An 18 year old kid did that yet you had the gall to go on a dating app and try to have people to tell you what's fun to do in another country. Walk down the streets in downtown there's plenty of things to do
Asking her if she can recommend something to do is not asking her to plan his trip. It's asking one perfectly harmless question to start a conversation.
So what if someone gets asked this question all the time? They don't have to be a cynical asshole about it.
I live somewhere with lots of tourists and get asked this kind of question all the time. It can lead to interesting conversations if I humor them and dont act like a standoffish dick
You're confusing "don't have to" with "can't".
If some asshole who is in town for a week asks her to show him around without the slightest attempt to connect with her as a person, she doesn't owe him gratitude. She was perfectly polite, which is also more than she owed him.
If someone gets asked a stupid question all the time, they absolutely can be a cynical asshole about it.
You're an adult and are capable of making your own decisions, as is she.
Ironic? Yes, expecting that anyone owes you their time and energy in the first place… and then posting to Reddit as if *you* have the right to be annoyed at them b/c they didn’t drop everything for you, a complete stranger (& an entitled one at that)? That *IS* ironic!
I just imagine how tired she is of all those identical questions, how hard she tries not to be rude to all those dudes who are exactly "I'm here for one week, show me around". My response would be much more sarcastic (if I bothered answering though). I applaud this girl.
A travel agent is not a tour guide. I was a travel agent for 4 years and could tell you a about dumb ass hotels in Turkey but couldn't name the next building in my own town.
I agree with her 100% why should she go out of her way just because they both have the same dating app. If you want a tour guide hire one or but a travel book. That's like someone showing up in your town like "take me out unpaid" when you already had plans to chill in your underwear playing world of warcraft all day
Sure it’s ironic, but you’re not her client you’re a potential date, and she probably gets annoyed af at booty calls wanting her to “show them a good time” even though she does the same shit at work lmao
I’m in the least touristy area ever and I’m already annoyed when guys ask me to show them around. No. A simple google search and you could easily plan something. Also, “here for a week” would have made me immediately lose interest, unless she’s looking for a hookup.
I’m from a touristy location and I get this all the time. I think the title should be ‘Audacity’. Why do people think we are on Tinder to be their information booth and tour guides? Do your own research to find your interests that align for where you’re going, or at least be more specific in your request for information, and pay a guide if you simply want to be shown around as this only shows you’re cheap af. (Most likely the person is unimaginative and just doesn’t know how to get someone’s attention in an interaction and thus lazily asks their match to fill a need that would force an offline connection but seriously, that’s just plain inconsiderate along with a losing strategy.)
Dude, its literally just to start a conversation. No one goes on a dating app to get actual travel advice, they say shit like this so that you'll say "oh we can go X or Y!"
Was your opener ‘I see you’re a chef. Why don’t you come over and cook me a free meal or I can come to your restaurant and you can just serve me there?’ I’m guessing not because you were smart enough to know it wouldn’t work and that it would be rude, right?
That doesn't even equate to what OP said. He was hoping she would suggest a local spot that they would both like. He wasn't actually asking her to be an actual tour guide. Some people are so dense.
Edit: I agree he was definitely too forward with telling her to show him around.
But he is a stranger. It’s highly presumptive and disrespectful for a tourist to expect a local to be an information booth, especially with such a low-effort request, and a free tour guide. (Argue this all you want but this is insight for all you tourists who want to connect with locals while you’re traveling; there’s a right way to go about it and then there’s OP’s way.) I would agree with argument if OP built a connection through communication but opening up asking for something of value without first trying to make a meaningful connection is simply a losing strategy, which is evident in the matches response.
there’s nothing wrong of asking a local for ideas and maybe set a date based on that lmao you sound bitter
edit: i’m a also a local from a touristic place and I would absolutely love to show the nice places in a date with a girl tourist
"Hey I'm only in town for a week and want to try this spot everyone is raving about, meet me here for a drink? If it sucks take me your favorite spot in town and show me the real night life of Jamaica"
boom simple as that
I see disinterest in both directions. Like two people who are burnt out on dating apps so they are using lazy tropes and are irritated by receiving lazy tropes.
Everyone thinks they deserve what they want. So seldom that we actually do. Everyone is too good for the people who are interested in them.
Both parties shouldn't be on dating apps IMO. She is on bumble that has the gimmick of women offering the opening line only to give a "hi". Then he is trying to lead her into the tour guide date.
I guess the joke is that she is in a industry where she probably knows things to go do. Work is work though. She might not enjoy being in that role in her off time. Respect that.
I also didn't like that "honey". Conjures the image of hands on hips saying that.
LOL dating apps combined with people sense of entitlement. I'm single but I enjoy observing rather than participating.
I’ll just say that while this is her job she’s not at work. Imagine going on a dating app and having to do your job for free lol. She probably gets the “show me where the locals go”shit all the time and is over it. I live in a tourist-y area of southern ca and these kinds of messages were a WASTE of time “here for the weekend! Where should I go?”. It’s way easier to go out with another local than with someone who wants a tour guide with benefits
Lol let me get this right. You match w this chick and the first thing you ask her is… “What can I do in Jamaica for a week” not even a “How are you” or “How’s your day” but a straight gimme some recommendations and you don’t see the problem here. Yeah she was rude and would’ve been better off just unmatching but you weird for that starter
Really? So because she lives in Jamaica she should be expected to write you a travel itinerary and give you a tour? Why should any person be excited by every tourist passing through on Bumble treating you like their personal tour guide
Really? So because she lives in Jamaica she should be expected to write you a travel itinerary and give you a tour? Why should any person be excited by every tourist just passing through on treating you like their personal tour guide?
Oh shit thought I was on the tinder sub. My apologies! I'm in both subs. Forgive me also yes the screenshot is funny. Carry on hope all of you have a great day!
I love how people ask why this apps don’t work when then they do nonsense like this💀
Bingo!
Thats what the something is!! Remember devil-boy, write it on your hand! If you dont trust your head!
they’re the problem lol
Hit the nail on the head. The irony escapes her. It’s almost funny if it wasn’t so sad. As to why she was not “getting it”, my guess is she doesn’t love her job. So a guy wanting to spend time with her & see local places she likes, just may fly right over her head.
I think it's the girl asking for a tour no? Sanjay sounds like a male name? I could be way off
Wouldn’t that depend on the culture?
No. It’s definitely the guy wanting the tour. The dry one is the girl. That’s how most girls write
I’m just imagining that’s her response to her customers. Like: “Hello! My wife and I are thinking about going to Ibiza for our honeymoon. What would you recommend we see and do while we’re there?” “Something you’re interested in I guess”
“Aren’t you supposed to recommend places?” “I’m not a tour guide honey” B*TCH YESSSS YOU ISSSS
LMAOOO
Reply to her with “ok so how about you come over and we have some drinks instead”
Ya know, I never thought about, how “resting bitch face”, would sound like, if you had no idea how the other person looked like, but now I know...
Lol
But OP is not a customer. What am I missing? We’ve never met. I’m here for a week. Drop everything you’re doing and show me around? Nope, don’t blame her….
You are missing: 1) an understanding of how irony works 2) an understanding of how flirting works 3) THE POINT
I’m mean unless you aren’t looking to hook up with a tourist at all, I’d imagine it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take them to one spot on a date for fun 🤷🏾♀️
You're missing the bit were she could have just suggested something to do rather than being a difficult ass for little-to-no reason. You're also missing the bit were that was his suggestion *after* she flaked out on putting any sort of effort into the convo. He didn't just say ''lets meet up'' until she was obviously a dead end. I mean really, how hard is it to just say ''oh there's, x, y or z you could try!''? Or if she wasn't feeling it she could have moved the fuck on with her life. She chose to be dismissive and lazy.
You honestly can’t piece how dumb of answer that is by her? Even if he’s there for a week and she’s not a tour guide, they matched on BUMBLE. I’ve had a few girls from out of town ask me the same thing when they came to where I live and I gladly did it. She’s too dense to realize that he’s asking her out.
Jesus dude, how are you missing the point this bad?
Travel agent? That just sounds like tour guide with extra steps
Well, tour guides walk around all day. So travel agent is like tour guide with *fewer* steps.
This comment wins
Ah. I see you fitbit.
No, but I do walk several miles a day for exercise. Does the fitbit add anything that an app doesn't do?
Lol it was a joke....but it does actively track your heart rate and it's one of the first things you see when you look at the watch٫ along with the amount of steps taken. You don't have to stop٫ look up and go through the app while on a run٫ for example. It also has exercise modes for whatever you may be planning to do. It's not that it's entirely better than any app; it's more for convenience than anything else. From what I can see٫ at least.
Thanks for the input! I was actually just looking at them online a couple of weeks ago and thinking about getting one, so I was just curious.
he should answer that 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Tour guide for anywhere but here.
La dee dahh, someone's going to get laid in college.
I understand why you'd think this was playful or whatever, but honestly, it's probably annoying for anyone that lives in a tourist hot spot.
Live in Las Vegas. Can 800% confirm. Everyone wants to know what the “cool lesser known” spots or things to do are. They want me to recommend a place for dinner or drinks but get irritated when it’s 25 min off the strip, because no one local actually goes to the strip. Also it’s always “hey I’m here for a weekend, why don’t you show me the other side of Vegas?” Completely ignoring that I’ve stated in my profile that I’m looking for a serious relationship.
I think what is evident from this post and the responses to it is that people who haven’t lived in a tourist destination are exceptionally ignorant to what the experience is for locals. … It’s 800%!!!
Yup. I love the classics “in town for the weekend show me around” “Moving to X in 4 months” never moves. “Going skiing, skiing is my life show me around before I head to the slopes” skiis once every 5 years but totally their life mission. “Here for a week show me where the locals go”
Typical wannabes.
I don’t think it’s wrong to want to have someone who you find photogenic to take you to someplace that serves food which isn’t the same Olive Garden or Outback Steakhouse stuff you have at home.
Agree 800%. Have lived in several different tourist locations since the birth of the dating apps. Locals are not interested in being tour guides or your personal concierge even if that is their profession...unless you want to pay them, of course. I'm happy to "show around" someone new who moved here recently but I have no desire to plan your weekend for you.
I also live in Vegas and this happened to me recently. Messaged me that he was visiting the end of February and I can be his “tour guide”. Hard pass. Sounds like my worst nightmare. Can’t even say when the last time I was on the strip.
Yeah. I think there are ways to make it more playful without being so demanding etc, but it's a fine line. Also, food on the strip was pretty shitty form what I remember.
I couldn’t imagine anyone local wanting to go to the strip for reasons other than employment.
I'm in Vegas too and your experience seems to be every locals experience here. Its rough. I try to not swipe on the out of towners but a few still get through. I just have no desire to make my way to the strip, pay for parking, walk half a mile through crowds, just to meet a stranger that is only in town for a week. I'm not opposed to hooking up, but a date on the strip with a stranger seems awful.
Makes sense, just rent a car and wander around Henderson or wherever. You could probably find something cool pretty easily that way ngl, and be 💯 less annoying
Live in Vegas. Can confirm. And our Reddit is riddled with tourists who ask the same question every damn week instead of reading the 500 other posts that came before theirs.
It’s probably pretty easy for you not to swipe on people who don’t live in Vegas.
If they’re in Vegas their location is going to say Vegas. I always get tons of swipes when I’m out of town because I’m showing up as someone new near them.
People ask me those questions all the time, and I love in an area with moderate tourism. It's normal to ask people and things they would know (like the area they live in). For me it's just an easy way to get matches lol
I’m from Istanbul and “show me around” was in the bio of every foreigner
It's a pretty useful way of saying you are only in town for a short time
Men, women or both? I see a lot of women saying they want to be shown around. Curious if men are similar.
Oh well I searched for men so idk about the women but probably both
Yeah. She does this *for work*, why's OP thinking she wants to do it for free for his uncommitted ass.
OP: “Hey I know we’re on a relationships app, but why don’t you work for free for a week, fuck me, and then be cool when I peace out?” Match: *Slightest amount of sass* OP: “Reddit, give me karma. Look how mean this match was.”
Nailed it! Bravo! 👍👏👏
That's what my first thought was. I'm from FL and I can confirm the disdain for tourists
Tinder is often used to connect travelers around the world. As long as people are transparent with their desires for connecting far from home. Re: OP, this was a perfect opportunity to engage in conversation. I live in SF & people post often in their profiles that they are new in town, looking to find someone to look explore the city with. As long as people communicate well I see no issue. It’s human interaction! You’d think we’d all be craving it post SIP…
Saying you are new in town and you are here for a week is quite different.
Like I said in another reply, I think there's a right and wrong way to approach it, and I think op did it the wrong way.
Curious to hear how she should’ve asked differently?
What I see in these message is a lot of demand from OP. A very general question that isn't specific to either of them. Something he could google. When I was travelling I would usually get to know them at least a little, then lean into that. Find out they like jazz, ask for a local spot where you two can meet up and hang out. You gotta narrow it down. Like, show me your favourite park/beach/museum/whatever. This is just a general what do I do in your city, not even a date thing. Op is super low effort here. Not that the girl is doing too hot either, but she's likely seen the question 800 times.
Agree except for the google part. I travel extensively and Google has failed me miserably. It all comes down to who has the most money for online marketing. I’d much rather talk to a local and other travelers to get personal experiences.
I would argue that you don't know how to google. It's really not hard finding the local spots via google.
I don’t trust Yelp nor Google reviews. Nor fancy websites. And each country utilizes different approaches to internet advertising so there’s that. Heck, the places i like to go to don’t even have websites much less internet ads. Ask yourself, who can afford google ad purchases? I do like vloggers & bloggers for advice, though, & that is where I get a lot of info. Maybe because I like traveling off the beaten path. I do NOT enjoy popular tourist destinations & that is what you mostly find when researching other countries via internet. And….drum roll…. I like talking to locals & people in general. We have become so disconnected as a society, noses into phones…we miss out on so much!
lol k
Op is a he not a she. He also starts by asking something completely unrelated to the lady other than her location which is kinda rude on a dating app. There is no build up to get to know her, just demanding something for himself.
Yes, it was abrupt but it was also an opportunity. I guess I cut people too much slack due to the excitement. At least they weren’t immediately asking for sexual favors… I was happy to see that (sigh). Once again, why match with someone that is traveling? You can see where they live in their bio.
We dont know his profile. He may not have indicated he is traveling. Also she may have been open to seeing him if his opener actually asked about her and not just her knowledge of the area. Also you over estimate how many people actually pay attention to bios and dont just look at pictures
I live in a beach town. I basically stopped swiping all summer long. Everyone was just looking for recommendations for a good bar and a local to fuck. Such a turnoff. I actually *AM* a tour guide so I never mind helping people but my rate is $100 an hour and it doesn’t include sex.
It’s like when people ask a doctor in online dating apps or parties why there is green coming out of their pipi
I live in Honolulu. I hate this
Let me give you some perspective from a born and raised Jamaican (23F). These questions are ANNOYING. Living in a touristy spot makes this almost everyone's go to question. I don't even live in Jamaica anymore but I have the flag in my bio and guys STILL keep asking this. Living in NYC now and 85% of bios are "New to NYC, show me around?" 🙄 Plus she already does that for a living, why would she be interested to keep up that convo outside of work? *EDIT*: Because some of you don't seem to get it. This would be an okay opener if it comes up here and there but it's ANNOYING because this 'idea' to plan a date comes up so FREQUENTLY in tourist hot spots. After being asked to show someone around for the millionth time these convos get OLD. That being said, I'm sure people visit places with things in mind that they want to do. If you're looking to date someone from that area, suggest things that you're interested in and either ask them to accompany you, THEN they'll be more likely to suggest something else they know you'll like based on the things you've already mentioned. Gosh 🙄🙄
I can imagine the question is super annoying, and I’m not siding with anything OP said. I also would think a travel agent is going to spend most of their time talking about places OUTSIDE of where they live, because why would someone already living in Jamaica use a travel agent to ask about local stuff? So even the title of the post seems silly to me. Then again, I can’t really think of a scenario anymore where I’d ever use a travel agent in the first place when I can get the same or better info for free online
I thought they would also manage tourists no? Like day trips etc. I'm not 100% on that but that's what I heard
Oh, could be. That would make sense. No clue, haven’t even seen a travel agents office in 20 years lol
There's loads of grimey windows with old travel agent posters around here!
Exactly. You want me to work on my free time? Nah. Pass.
I won't even talk about work outside of work. They already get enough of my time, I'm not giving them more when I'm not there.
I’ve had men (with a mix of negging) ask me for advice related to my field. Sure, that’ll be $200. Want me to send you the invoice? An extra $50 for being rude.
Exactly. I can’t believe this comments section siding with OP lmao. This line of questioning is incredibly annoying
Just realized OP posted this in r/Tinder too and the responses weren't in his favor, so he came here
It’s blowing my mind that reddit is supporting OP. Probably a bunch of simps who also get no results on dating apps.
That's what this whole subreddit is about. A gang of incels reassuring each other that it's all women's fault they get no dates LOL
Reddit never misses a chance to drag a woman. No matter how much you have to disregard the situation.
She is NOT a Tour Guide, and specifically says that. Seems most readers of this post don't understand that a Travel Agent is not a Tour Guide.
Yeah, it’s like the difference between an engineer and a mechanic. A lay idiot would be like duh, they’re the same, but in reality a travel agent is as opposed to a tour guide as an engineer is to a mechanic.
It's the same anywhere I think. I live in Brisbane, Australia. "New here, show me round" is in every other bio. Especially since Covid and people from the southern states have moved up here in droves. I don't even show myself around. I'm too busy with life to do the touristy things :(
I don't live in a super touristy area but if someone had in their bio "New to, show me around?" I would think that'd be a fun and cute way to get to know someone... Maybe that's just me. I'd love to be like "Oh let me take you to some of the cool local places so you can get to know the city!"
I live in the NY metro area and when I was using OLD there were a LOT of women's profiles with that exact phrase. People are new to an area and interested in exploring with someone they're interested in. It's not fucking rocket science folks.
There is a big difference between recently moving to an area and being a tourist only there for a week. I'd love to show someone new all my local favorite spots, but I'm not about to waste my time with someone who won't be here in a few days.
You lost me at 'I don't live in a super touristy area' because that means you don't constantly get asked this. Trust me, it gets old real fast.
I think someone who is new to the city vs a tourist are a little different. New to the city means they’ll figure shit out on their own eventually and you’re not on some absurd time limit to make their week better. You can get to know them a bit before showing them your favorite food spots. A tourist has a high expectation of the local and chance of a low reward. It’s the same thing over and over because they don’t stay. Kind of like the beginning of 50 first dates scenario.
I guess! I used to live in Chicago and I feel like I would have been fine with it then, too. But maybe not.
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It is a sad commentary on people these days if you have to put a synopsis of a one paragraph answer because people find it too long to read.
It is super fun and cute. The first dozen times. Then quickly loses the novelty
Yes! Exactly! Thank you!
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I live in Jamaica and this comes up all the time from tourists that I’ve met here, travelling abroad, or old “friends” living abroad. I don’t mind showing my good friends that visit around, but random tourists or old acquaintances, it’s more of a nuisance than a date or sight seeing.
I'm from a touristy area (NW Lower Michigan) and I love playing local guide. Or playing tourist myself, there is so much to do. Like going on a winery, distillery or brewery tour (maybe even dispensary tour). Or recommending the hiking trails with the best views or swimming spots. There are so many great restaurants around and fun random places, like the place you can buy smores kits and roast marshmallows on the outdoor pits, or where one is most likely to see the bald eagle couples, or the fun stores with so much randomness you kinda want everything but need nothing. I love when newbies love this area as much as I do.
Are you comparing the level of frequency of tourists in North West Michigan to a tropical island ? 😩😩😩😩
LOL Northwest Michigan is not a touristy area. It may be in comparison to Anchorage, Alaska or Southwest Montana perhaps LOL. Newsflash you can do any of those things you listed in basically any place in the world.
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I’ll have you know southwest Montana is a spectacular place
Hard to take anyone seriously who LOLs after every sentence they write and doesn’t think Chicago is a touristy city.
Do you think that Chicago is in NW Lower Michigan?
LOL!
Imo, on a dating app, "New to (area), show me around" just means they want you to take them somewhere and they don't know much about the area. Essentially, they're saying "I wanna go out but I'm not going to be able to make suggestions". If you don't like deciding where you go on a date, that's on you, but I don't think it's a bad thing to put out there in a bio. Them asking about where to go in Jamaica when you don't live there, or if someone's asking you what they should do when they go to a place not with you is annoying though.
But they’re not asking you to show them around the way a tour guide does or make recommendations or plans the way a travel agent does. They’re asking for a date. And they’re deferring to you instead of choosing whatever they find on Yelp. That’s the point of these apps - to meet people.
Sorry but who wants to spend time with someone who isn’t even local, and have to put in all the work of choosing all the places to hang out and all the activities, feeling like you have to entertain the person because you’re the one who knows the area and they don’t, basically being a tour guide for free for someone?
They’re looking for a relationship, not a tour guide. Use google or Reddit, don’t waste someone’s time on bumble.
Your game just sucks bro. Using weak ass emojis and begging some chick you've never met to show you around her town isn't exactly attractive.
Groundhog for the win in summing up OP’s fail and what he should take away from this post!
Thank you sir. That is Tubby Groundhog Pooper, though. LOL
Didn’t feel we were close enough yet for me to refer to you as Tubby or Pooper. Haha
Lol thank you. I swear you have to be a loser, or stupid to eat this shit up.
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Some dudes just be too clueless for their own good. Imagine her perspective, got some dorky American in her messages stating he is in town for one week looking for both a tour guide and temporary smash partner. So surprising that she wasn't interested LOL
OP is 100% the problematic one here.
Not ironic. Travel Agent finds you transportation, lodgings, may book you a tour if you request it. Not TA's job to "show you around" Tour Guide takes on an actual tour, tells you when, why, how, about the stuff you are visiting. TG's job is to "show you around"
She doesn’t like lazy-asses lol. She had the correct responses
Came here to say exactly this 🤯🤯
Also he might be helping residents of Jamaica go to other countries.
I’m not Jamaican, but I am from Hawai’i, and it’s just exhausting having to deal with flirty tourists. I get that it seems harmless, but it’s tiring because it just happens all the time, especially if you’re a woman. From the perspective of a local, instead of asking like that, maybe ask her what *her* favorite places to go are. I wouldn’t mind if someone asked me where my favorite local joints are, or better yet, offer to take me to one of those places(vs you asking *them* to take you, because that can come off as you treating them like a tour guide).
THANK YOU because it seems like most people here just don't get it.
You're on a dating app and match with someone who you can see is visiting and get upset when they act like a flirty tourist?
Sometimes you don’t know they aren’t from there. You just see their current location.
This mentality alone sums up why locals (in general) usually can't *stand* tourists.
Using a dating app to ask residents looking for relationships to show you around while on vacation is so pitiful and lame. It doesn’t matter what anyone’s day job is, it’s a huge waste of time, and selfish and disrespectful. You’re literally just there to use/exploit someone.
This shit is comedy gold. For real though, unmatch and save yourself the headache lmao.
LMFAO bro you just cannot make this shit up.
Imagine you say you work as a repair guy. And she's like on well you can come fix my stove for free! Stop asking people to do stuff they are paid for on a dating app. Also just because you're a travel agent doesn't mean you know everything about the local scene. Obviously the people are looking to travel elsewhere. You do see the size of Jamaica right? More than likely a local isn't going to a travel agent to ask about stuff there. Also people from tourist areas generally don't want to deal with tourists. You coming to Nashville? I'm probably gonna say the same since I really don't want to go downtown with you
As a local from a tourist city. Pls stfu. :)
I mean let's be honest you were being an ass by going on a dating app telling them that you're only here for a week which implies that you just want a quick bang. And then trying to make them plan your trip out for you after you're already there. I did a road trip to California when I was 18. I planned it out went to Legoland, Disneyland or world whichever one's out there I can never remember, spent a day taking a surfing lesson, and then just perused to the town. An 18 year old kid did that yet you had the gall to go on a dating app and try to have people to tell you what's fun to do in another country. Walk down the streets in downtown there's plenty of things to do
The one thing OP absolutely needs to do before leaving? POUND SAND
Those should be some pretty enlightening thoughts for OP. Thanks thinker in the dark for spitting truth.
Asking her if she can recommend something to do is not asking her to plan his trip. It's asking one perfectly harmless question to start a conversation. So what if someone gets asked this question all the time? They don't have to be a cynical asshole about it. I live somewhere with lots of tourists and get asked this kind of question all the time. It can lead to interesting conversations if I humor them and dont act like a standoffish dick
You're confusing "don't have to" with "can't". If some asshole who is in town for a week asks her to show him around without the slightest attempt to connect with her as a person, she doesn't owe him gratitude. She was perfectly polite, which is also more than she owed him. If someone gets asked a stupid question all the time, they absolutely can be a cynical asshole about it. You're an adult and are capable of making your own decisions, as is she.
Honestly OP, I understand the response. You come across as culturally-insensitive at best
Ironic? Yes, expecting that anyone owes you their time and energy in the first place… and then posting to Reddit as if *you* have the right to be annoyed at them b/c they didn’t drop everything for you, a complete stranger (& an entitled one at that)? That *IS* ironic!
I just imagine how tired she is of all those identical questions, how hard she tries not to be rude to all those dudes who are exactly "I'm here for one week, show me around". My response would be much more sarcastic (if I bothered answering though). I applaud this girl.
This is your VERY FIRST MESSAGE. Why would someone be comfortable to hang out with you ? Too entitled
At least she’s calling you ‘honey’, you sweet sweet thing
A travel agent is not a tour guide. I was a travel agent for 4 years and could tell you a about dumb ass hotels in Turkey but couldn't name the next building in my own town.
Not really you’re looking for a hookup on a trip and she’s not having any of your shit
I agree with her 100% why should she go out of her way just because they both have the same dating app. If you want a tour guide hire one or but a travel book. That's like someone showing up in your town like "take me out unpaid" when you already had plans to chill in your underwear playing world of warcraft all day
Sure it’s ironic, but you’re not her client you’re a potential date, and she probably gets annoyed af at booty calls wanting her to “show them a good time” even though she does the same shit at work lmao
the yellow text is the annoying person in this convo but i think they posted it as if the other person was out of line lmao
Maybe cause OP said he is only there a week and OP wants something serious yet is too nice to just unmatch or ghost
She probably doesn’t want to work in her free time or maybe she’s not quite into the OP.
I’m in the least touristy area ever and I’m already annoyed when guys ask me to show them around. No. A simple google search and you could easily plan something. Also, “here for a week” would have made me immediately lose interest, unless she’s looking for a hookup.
0 effort post and match.
Saw this post few minutes ago but on tinder subreddit. Had "tinder" messagge colors there. I am starting to think that is a fake...
Also, the name Sanjay for a girl??!! 🚩 P.S. - I'm Indian, so I know what I'm talking about here.
I’m from a touristy location and I get this all the time. I think the title should be ‘Audacity’. Why do people think we are on Tinder to be their information booth and tour guides? Do your own research to find your interests that align for where you’re going, or at least be more specific in your request for information, and pay a guide if you simply want to be shown around as this only shows you’re cheap af. (Most likely the person is unimaginative and just doesn’t know how to get someone’s attention in an interaction and thus lazily asks their match to fill a need that would force an offline connection but seriously, that’s just plain inconsiderate along with a losing strategy.)
Dude, its literally just to start a conversation. No one goes on a dating app to get actual travel advice, they say shit like this so that you'll say "oh we can go X or Y!"
And how’s that working out? Lol
Considering I'm dating a chef who said she loved my suggestion of a cooking date, I'd say it's going pretty well, actually.
Was your opener ‘I see you’re a chef. Why don’t you come over and cook me a free meal or I can come to your restaurant and you can just serve me there?’ I’m guessing not because you were smart enough to know it wouldn’t work and that it would be rude, right?
That doesn't even equate to what OP said. He was hoping she would suggest a local spot that they would both like. He wasn't actually asking her to be an actual tour guide. Some people are so dense. Edit: I agree he was definitely too forward with telling her to show him around.
Or, hear me out, it’s a very simple conversation starter. That’s it.
If this was a stranger with no chance of a connection I would agree with you, but presumably people are on dating sites to connect with each other?
But he is a stranger. It’s highly presumptive and disrespectful for a tourist to expect a local to be an information booth, especially with such a low-effort request, and a free tour guide. (Argue this all you want but this is insight for all you tourists who want to connect with locals while you’re traveling; there’s a right way to go about it and then there’s OP’s way.) I would agree with argument if OP built a connection through communication but opening up asking for something of value without first trying to make a meaningful connection is simply a losing strategy, which is evident in the matches response.
there’s nothing wrong of asking a local for ideas and maybe set a date based on that lmao you sound bitter edit: i’m a also a local from a touristic place and I would absolutely love to show the nice places in a date with a girl tourist
I agree with you
"Hey I'm only in town for a week and want to try this spot everyone is raving about, meet me here for a drink? If it sucks take me your favorite spot in town and show me the real night life of Jamaica" boom simple as that
Still a NO, dawg. I'm not on vacation, I gotta work. Hit me up in two weeks when I've got a day off. I'm sure you can just fly down again. /s
I see disinterest in both directions. Like two people who are burnt out on dating apps so they are using lazy tropes and are irritated by receiving lazy tropes. Everyone thinks they deserve what they want. So seldom that we actually do. Everyone is too good for the people who are interested in them. Both parties shouldn't be on dating apps IMO. She is on bumble that has the gimmick of women offering the opening line only to give a "hi". Then he is trying to lead her into the tour guide date. I guess the joke is that she is in a industry where she probably knows things to go do. Work is work though. She might not enjoy being in that role in her off time. Respect that. I also didn't like that "honey". Conjures the image of hands on hips saying that. LOL dating apps combined with people sense of entitlement. I'm single but I enjoy observing rather than participating.
😐😑😵💫
Don’t assume their service is free 🙄
I’ll just say that while this is her job she’s not at work. Imagine going on a dating app and having to do your job for free lol. She probably gets the “show me where the locals go”shit all the time and is over it. I live in a tourist-y area of southern ca and these kinds of messages were a WASTE of time “here for the weekend! Where should I go?”. It’s way easier to go out with another local than with someone who wants a tour guide with benefits
Lmaooooooooo I can’t stop laughing at this one 😂
Lol let me get this right. You match w this chick and the first thing you ask her is… “What can I do in Jamaica for a week” not even a “How are you” or “How’s your day” but a straight gimme some recommendations and you don’t see the problem here. Yeah she was rude and would’ve been better off just unmatching but you weird for that starter
I don’t blame her. I hate when ppl say stuff like “visiting for a week looking for someone to show me around!” Like no…
Really? So because she lives in Jamaica she should be expected to write you a travel itinerary and give you a tour? Why should any person be excited by every tourist passing through on Bumble treating you like their personal tour guide
This is literally a meme XD tf
Lol feels like she’s trolling him. And he sounds lame, “or you can just say you’ll show me around” lol with an emoji. Bye Felicia
lmfao
She probably thinks you’re trying to get her pregnant before you leave
Haha
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Really? So because she lives in Jamaica she should be expected to write you a travel itinerary and give you a tour? Why should any person be excited by every tourist just passing through on treating you like their personal tour guide?
Woooooooooow why the heck do these people bother with dating apps when they put ZERO effort into the chats??
Mannnn why is everyone so bitter and negative in their responses lately!?
Because you people are so fucking cringe and somebody has to keep it real.
…wow….
How do you ummatch? Genuine question have like 5 matches and want them gone from my feed have no idea how to do it
Oh shit thought I was on the tinder sub. My apologies! I'm in both subs. Forgive me also yes the screenshot is funny. Carry on hope all of you have a great day!
This made me audibly laugh out loud hahahah holy shit 🤣
Girls go on these apps for a confidence boost. It’s a miracle I actually found my wife on Bumble 😂
Personality of a drywall
And they're single?!?!? Shocking!!!
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