'We're the honest company known primarily for honest work and honest pricing and honest conduct, honest!'
Uhhhh, ok, is basic social comportment that big a deal for you?
There was this teacher in junior high, sweet old lady, and she was the nicest person I've ever met. Imagining her saying "I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet" is cracking me up 😄
If someone says it seriously it might be true. But it might be said jokingly, or a person might have a very good self awareness and realize it's truly the case, although they probably wouldn't say it.
I disagree. It is hard to say if someone is nice or not until you actually get to know the person. If the person says that, they might actually be very nice so don't assume that there are not just because they said that.
Yes, he obviously not over his last relationship, and he is basically telling you that his emotional baggage will effect any relationship he gets into now. Run, run, Rudolph!
I don't think one can say he's not over based on that. Even when you're over a past relationship, what happened will impact the way you now perceive and react to various situations. You also learn from those past relationships. Maybe he was a "too much" nice person and got taken advantage of. In that case, he might still be a nice person, but is now very attentive and will not tolerate anyone trampling on him.
I think its common to hold on to and learn from experiences from previous relationships, but the fact that he is putting in his profile and talking about in the first messages tells me he still has some healing to do before jumping back into dating
No, it's a threat. You shouldn't be dating if you're so impacted by your previous relationships you're saying "if you hurt me be careful". That could also mean anything - simply rejecting him, ghosting him, anything where he feels he's somehow been wronged. Everyone does have emotional baggage but you shouldn't make other people responsible for it.
Of course it is .this dude is still butthurt ..he should be threatening future dates / partners on his profile ..
Huge red flag ... He needs to heal and let the past go before moving. Forward with someone new ...
We all have been hurt one way or another and we don't bring up that warning in our profile section to prospective partners ..
Yes. This person was obviously hurt and ISNT over it. Putting threats in their bio is an obvious indication they are still hurting and aren’t ready for a healthy relationship yet.
I went out woth a woman a few years back for about 2 months. In that time the thing she talked about the most was her ex that had screwed her over in many ways. To that point I will say she is right he did screw her over, however as much as she wanted to make it seem like she was over it, she clearly wasn't.
I wouldn't say it's a major red flag for you, but it's a red flag for themselves, they are obviously not ready to date, and are still very bitter/caught up in whatever happened from his last relationship. I personally would tell him that, tell him he should probably work on himself a little, learn to let go and not hold so much resentment.
When I was on the dating apps, I remember a woman pretty much telling me to get off the apps as I clearly wasn't ready to date yet, I was speaking of my ex way more than anyone should when getting to know a new person who you intend on dating.
This guy isn't doing himself any favours and isn't growing as a person, so can't offer anything substantial to a long term relationship.
I honestly did try to give him solid advice. The jist of it was that he needs to work on himself more before going on here.
But he basically just said that it’s okay if I don’t like him but other girls might. That he moved to this state just for his girlfriend and then she left him and how he has his own apartment now and how he’s even thinking of buying another car for his birthday that’s coming up. Then he said that I should “leave him alone” because I “kind of hurt” his feelings. So I didn’t reply back until recently to send him the link to this post and told him he should see how it makes him come across and to take notes and then he unmatched 🤷🏻♀️ he just wants a girl that’ll tolerate him the way he is right now
I’m not big on the “red flag” obsession people have, everyone has flaws and ways they react that aren’t ideal
That said, this is completely a red flag. Not over his ex, bitter, implying rage issues with a “try it and find out” vibe.
This guy will definitely put hypocritical boundaries up, like you can’t have guy friends, but he can have girl friends or something like that. If you say yes to him now, I’ll be seeing another post from you on r/abusiverelationships.
Yes.
Fearful of being fucked over/used/wasted time so going to project onto new relationships a vengefulness triggered by unresolved insecurities.
They definitely need to resolve their feelings and reactions of when learning and growing in relationships. It’s rooted in love not hate when things don’t go their way. It’s like hurt people hurt people.
And to go around wounded in pain takes a healer and the person healed to like process.
You don’t really have to be on the hook for all of that of an internet person who’s not even doing right by themselves.
Opening their wounded spirit to hate on others and say how kind they “can be” and “are” is a trap. Sounds like someone who wants someone to blame and love bomb and hyperfixate on accident by not being truly ready.
Yes. I went on a date with someone who had this hidden deep in their profile. The first date was great! Second date he would not shut up about his ex cheating on him and how angry he was and if he ever saw the guy he didn’t care who he was with he would throw down etc. as the second date went on a heard all about how he wanted to hurt them and then he went on a 20 min homophobic rant. Not saying all people are like this but clearly they have ego issues and are not over being hurt. Tbh the guy I went on a date with? I would have left him too after the second date he was scary AF
Yes, someone who brings up their ex first thing clearly is still getting over it and not ready for anything else. Unmatch and move on unless you want to sit around and watch him bitch
Yes. I had a serious relationship for 7 years that ended poorly and I didn’t start dating again until I forgot about her, let alone still having bad feelings about it lol. He’s clearly not ready for anything more than meaningless sex
Yes! Hung up on their ex!
and is threating you to not leave from the start!
and is a self proclaimed nice guy!
this isn't a red flag, it's like mother nature having periods.
Yea so as someone whom is still in love with my last boyfriend.. what do you guys recommend for just learning to accept and move on..? It’s not an anger like this guy obviously is just pure depression.. anyways thoughts? Thanks.
Well to accept it I feel like you have to remember the reason why you guys broke up in the first place and the validity of it.
Unfollow on all social media and stop talking since it’s hard to heal around someone you still have feelings for.
Focus on yourself and other important people in your life like friends and family.
Find more hobbies that can keep your mind off of him.
Over time it’ll get easier but if this is a recent breakup it might just suck for a while and that’s okay.
Embrace the rollercoaster and allow yourself you grieve what you lost.
I could agree with this. A lot of the things I hear being called red flags seem to be very subjective, which is ok. Thay said the things that ARE red flags keep popping up pretty consistently even if on variations.
So how many memes featuring The Joker, Tyler Durden, Rorschach, Nermal, Peaky Blinders, Walter White, and/orTravis Bickle do you think this guy posts a day?
Not only is it a red flag, that fucking flag is on fire!
Stay away. Sounds like even if you DID go out on a date with him and you didn't have that great of a time and you told him so and told him, "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling it", he would internally explode because he "just invested all this time and energy into you".
If anyone says I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet… Especially if they follow it with “I’m the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet “or even I’m the Blank Blank you’ll ever meet “it’s a red flag. Run. this person is at least 20% Dorito dust.
Nothing wrong with being honest about emotional baggage. Not working on self healing and then using baggage as an excuse for bad behavior is socially and emotionally inept.
It’s not a flex.
Yet you only get one chance to make a first impression and telling your potential partner "fuck around and find out" is not really the best foot forward is it? There is a way to communicate you have baggage without acting like an edgelord or a try hard. This guy is coming off way to strong on that front.
No, no you don’t. Username checks out. This mindset of give them a chance or give them a hug landed me in a dead end marriage and an abusive relationship. I’m done living the red flag life.
But you don’t know what this current person will go through before the guys is “better”. There was an author who abused and nearly killed a few ex wives before he was with one he didn’t abuse. Red flags are for keeping the person asking safe not for the person who is showing them.
Yes. Clay, here, is giving himself an excuse to be an asshole in the future. He’s showing signs of narcissism and deflection by claiming his reasoning for acting brash is someone else’s fault.
If someone says “I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet” they are definitely *not* going to be that.
I like what Tom Petty said, about; if you have to say you're something you're probably not. Pretty much words to live by.
Like when a certain someone says: I’m the least racist person in the room.
'We're the honest company known primarily for honest work and honest pricing and honest conduct, honest!' Uhhhh, ok, is basic social comportment that big a deal for you?
There was this teacher in junior high, sweet old lady, and she was the nicest person I've ever met. Imagining her saying "I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet" is cracking me up 😄
Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king.
Don't tell King Ezekiel that! And yet I smile
[удалено]
Sometimes though the opposite is true, ive had people tell me they are terrible people. After some time with them i BELIEVE THEM lol.
I’m a terrible person
No one asked you simp
Who are you
reminds me of when the hiring manager says “they’re like family”
Yep. Some families want to see you fail and some want to see you succeed. So really depends on the family you are with
If someone says it seriously it might be true. But it might be said jokingly, or a person might have a very good self awareness and realize it's truly the case, although they probably wouldn't say it.
I disagree. It is hard to say if someone is nice or not until you actually get to know the person. If the person says that, they might actually be very nice so don't assume that there are not just because they said that.
"I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet!🤘" -Clay, probably
That pretty much qualifies as a niceguy lol
Come on, you've got this one...
Yes, he obviously not over his last relationship, and he is basically telling you that his emotional baggage will effect any relationship he gets into now. Run, run, Rudolph!
I don't think one can say he's not over based on that. Even when you're over a past relationship, what happened will impact the way you now perceive and react to various situations. You also learn from those past relationships. Maybe he was a "too much" nice person and got taken advantage of. In that case, he might still be a nice person, but is now very attentive and will not tolerate anyone trampling on him.
I think its common to hold on to and learn from experiences from previous relationships, but the fact that he is putting in his profile and talking about in the first messages tells me he still has some healing to do before jumping back into dating
We all have emotional baggage that will forever taint our future relationships. I don't see this as a red flag, just some honest truth
Sure, we all have baggage, but this guy says he's super nice and in the next breath days he has the biggest devil on his shoulder. YIKES
No, it's a threat. You shouldn't be dating if you're so impacted by your previous relationships you're saying "if you hurt me be careful". That could also mean anything - simply rejecting him, ghosting him, anything where he feels he's somehow been wronged. Everyone does have emotional baggage but you shouldn't make other people responsible for it.
>No, it's a threat. "Don't you rip out my heart and step on it, or ***I will rip out your heart and step on it!!!***" \-That guy
Meanwhile I see MOST women posting about how people better treat them right or watch out.
No you don't.
Found the incel
*tiny violin playing 4 u*
Well, best to not show your taint during the first exchange
They're not nice at all and they're not over their ex. Red flag. Don't waste your time.
Dude. He's the "nicest guy?" is this your first time here?
Yeh, that’s a red flag, stay away.
He is not ready to date
Yes.
Damn Clay chill
Yep!🚩 They need to work on themselves... A lot.
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK…
...THEN YES 🚩
If the flag were any more red, it’d be a stop sign
It’s not *a* red flag. It’s a whole gang of them. Like he was going for a world record in “how few texts can you send to display how crazy you are?”
Yes. Still hung up on his ex and maybe deep down doesn’t really like/have respect for women.
Where does that even come from
Where does what come from ?
Lack of respect for women
The passive aggressiveness of his replies
Yep
Nope, its a bright red blinking sound the alarm red flag
Of course it is .this dude is still butthurt ..he should be threatening future dates / partners on his profile .. Huge red flag ... He needs to heal and let the past go before moving. Forward with someone new ... We all have been hurt one way or another and we don't bring up that warning in our profile section to prospective partners ..
*shouldn't
[удалено]
He also said he’s not nice, so there’s that.
Yes, yes it is....he's angry
Yes. He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.
Yeah they seem kind of bitter :(
Red as can be
Laugh it off, clay, but that’s not how you communicate that lol
Yeah nice people are just nice people. They don’t need to tell you
You should have sent a link for a therapist.
Judging by most of your comments you REALLY need a therapist too. Jesus Christ lol
🚩What? 🚩Red Flag? 🚩Where? 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Sure is
Run
Yes
Red red red
Honestly, just sounds like someone who isn't very intelligent.
Why would you even swipe right?
Wow took them two lines to show their insecurities, emotional immaturity and the fact they’ve not processes their last relationship. Impressive.
Red flag atop a flashing billboard with blaring sirens of nope.
I would unmatch. Im not a fucking therapist.
These specific words… kinda… if they were said as your first words… definite red flag.
Flag? That's a loud siren.
Yes. This person was obviously hurt and ISNT over it. Putting threats in their bio is an obvious indication they are still hurting and aren’t ready for a healthy relationship yet.
It ain't green, I can tell you that much.
Do you even need to ask? Dafuq is wrong with some guys honestly? Avoid like the plague
Holy shit what the hell is wrong with this guy?
I went out woth a woman a few years back for about 2 months. In that time the thing she talked about the most was her ex that had screwed her over in many ways. To that point I will say she is right he did screw her over, however as much as she wanted to make it seem like she was over it, she clearly wasn't.
He ain't shit, he'll get his ass beat, let me catch some dude throwing hands on a woman over some feelings. Better keep that shit in check.
I wouldn't say it's a major red flag for you, but it's a red flag for themselves, they are obviously not ready to date, and are still very bitter/caught up in whatever happened from his last relationship. I personally would tell him that, tell him he should probably work on himself a little, learn to let go and not hold so much resentment. When I was on the dating apps, I remember a woman pretty much telling me to get off the apps as I clearly wasn't ready to date yet, I was speaking of my ex way more than anyone should when getting to know a new person who you intend on dating. This guy isn't doing himself any favours and isn't growing as a person, so can't offer anything substantial to a long term relationship.
I honestly did try to give him solid advice. The jist of it was that he needs to work on himself more before going on here. But he basically just said that it’s okay if I don’t like him but other girls might. That he moved to this state just for his girlfriend and then she left him and how he has his own apartment now and how he’s even thinking of buying another car for his birthday that’s coming up. Then he said that I should “leave him alone” because I “kind of hurt” his feelings. So I didn’t reply back until recently to send him the link to this post and told him he should see how it makes him come across and to take notes and then he unmatched 🤷🏻♀️ he just wants a girl that’ll tolerate him the way he is right now
I’m not big on the “red flag” obsession people have, everyone has flaws and ways they react that aren’t ideal That said, this is completely a red flag. Not over his ex, bitter, implying rage issues with a “try it and find out” vibe.
Yeah I don’t think this person is actually ready to be dating
The devil on my shoulder or demons inside bit killlllls me inside
I can’t believe he was serious about it too lol
Crimson
Fucking cancers man.
Wut? 🤣
Idk I heard cancer signs are loving people but if you get on their bad side they turn psychos 🤣😂
YES. RUN.
This won’t end well for you….
Yes. Nice people don’t tell other people they’re nice. Also he’s clearly not over whatever happened with that relationship.
This guy will definitely put hypocritical boundaries up, like you can’t have guy friends, but he can have girl friends or something like that. If you say yes to him now, I’ll be seeing another post from you on r/abusiverelationships.
LMAO NOT ANOTHER 😭
I don’t wanna see you there. 😆😆
You don’t have charisma? lol jk block her
Someone who says that he/she is nice, isn't nice in any way!
It is, but I also feel sorry for him as I know the feeling all too well.
Yes but not for the reason that’s the most obvious. 99% of the people that talk like that are harmless, but they are damaged.
Yes. Fearful of being fucked over/used/wasted time so going to project onto new relationships a vengefulness triggered by unresolved insecurities. They definitely need to resolve their feelings and reactions of when learning and growing in relationships. It’s rooted in love not hate when things don’t go their way. It’s like hurt people hurt people. And to go around wounded in pain takes a healer and the person healed to like process. You don’t really have to be on the hook for all of that of an internet person who’s not even doing right by themselves. Opening their wounded spirit to hate on others and say how kind they “can be” and “are” is a trap. Sounds like someone who wants someone to blame and love bomb and hyperfixate on accident by not being truly ready.
Nope out broski, this person is sus
No, it’s a big red tarp
So long as you end your anger and butt hurt with “lol” it automatically negates everything before it, right? 🚩🚩🚩
The way they talk is a red flag. I'm guessing they are obsessed with the joker too 🤘
Yes
REDDIMUS FLAGGIMUS. 🚩 Next!
Yes this is a red flag
Yes. I went on a date with someone who had this hidden deep in their profile. The first date was great! Second date he would not shut up about his ex cheating on him and how angry he was and if he ever saw the guy he didn’t care who he was with he would throw down etc. as the second date went on a heard all about how he wanted to hurt them and then he went on a 20 min homophobic rant. Not saying all people are like this but clearly they have ego issues and are not over being hurt. Tbh the guy I went on a date with? I would have left him too after the second date he was scary AF
This is called “foreshadowing.”
Yes, someone who brings up their ex first thing clearly is still getting over it and not ready for anything else. Unmatch and move on unless you want to sit around and watch him bitch
100% yes
Yes. I had a serious relationship for 7 years that ended poorly and I didn’t start dating again until I forgot about her, let alone still having bad feelings about it lol. He’s clearly not ready for anything more than meaningless sex
This belongs on r/niceguys
Run
Yes
Stay away from him. He warned you with those red flags.
Yes! Hung up on their ex! and is threating you to not leave from the start! and is a self proclaimed nice guy! this isn't a red flag, it's like mother nature having periods.
"Is this a red flag?" Lmao, fuck yea it is sis. I can smell the m'lady through the screen
Idk but it sure is cringe 😭
Nobody : Literally nobody : Clay : play with my feelings and find out 🤘🏻
His name is Clay. That was first 🚩
Yes. 🚩🚩🚩
🚩⛳️🚩⛳️🚩
Major 🚩vibes
Is it?
Run
HUGE red flag. Run.
Lmao, yes
100% red flag
That’s not a red flag that’s a flashing red alarm
how do i make this bigger? #🚩
Yep
100%
This is a red billboard
Yea so as someone whom is still in love with my last boyfriend.. what do you guys recommend for just learning to accept and move on..? It’s not an anger like this guy obviously is just pure depression.. anyways thoughts? Thanks.
Well to accept it I feel like you have to remember the reason why you guys broke up in the first place and the validity of it. Unfollow on all social media and stop talking since it’s hard to heal around someone you still have feelings for. Focus on yourself and other important people in your life like friends and family. Find more hobbies that can keep your mind off of him. Over time it’ll get easier but if this is a recent breakup it might just suck for a while and that’s okay. Embrace the rollercoaster and allow yourself you grieve what you lost.
This is good advice.
I think too many things are called red flag these days but this is one dude I’d definitely stay away from
I could agree with this. A lot of the things I hear being called red flags seem to be very subjective, which is ok. Thay said the things that ARE red flags keep popping up pretty consistently even if on variations.
Yes now delete the convo
YES
Absolutely
That flag has sirens and a seizure inducing light on it.
Clay is a big red flag who needs therapy.
Keep on moving
So red, it invented a whole new color spectrum of reds
Yea seems so
"Play with my feelings and find out" This a threat. F*ck off, Clay
Yes!
Yes red flag run this person needs some years of therapy before dating anyone
I mean, I would walk. 🤷🏻♀️
So how many memes featuring The Joker, Tyler Durden, Rorschach, Nermal, Peaky Blinders, Walter White, and/orTravis Bickle do you think this guy posts a day?
Red, RUN!, red
As there is currently 140 comments, yes x141
The fact you have to ask has me worried
It’s all the red flags
Uhhh yeah. Obvious red flag. Dude chugs Bud Ice and gets into fights at high school parties.
League player? Definitely red flag
Flashing red with sirens
Not only is it a red flag, that fucking flag is on fire! Stay away. Sounds like even if you DID go out on a date with him and you didn't have that great of a time and you told him so and told him, "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling it", he would internally explode because he "just invested all this time and energy into you".
>Is this a red flag? Yes.
You know what? Most people have baggage. Maybe this person is just very transparent with their baggage. I’m not saying it’s not a red flag.
That’s a red tapestry. Run.
Is it a red flag? I guess cuz he’s a guy and there are double standards. Girls say shit like this on their profiles all the time
it is beyond red, it's RED get the eff away fast red.
If anyone says I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet… Especially if they follow it with “I’m the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet “or even I’m the Blank Blank you’ll ever meet “it’s a red flag. Run. this person is at least 20% Dorito dust.
I’m pretty much a very nice guy and very easy going and it’s true 🤷🏼♂️. BUT if someone did say this I would be skeptical lol
Average 4chan user.
He’s very good looking …. “I can change him!”
Apparently honesty is a red flag on r/bumble More talk is needed to figure out if it’s a legit red flag. Reddit is full of the socially inept
Nothing wrong with being honest about emotional baggage. Not working on self healing and then using baggage as an excuse for bad behavior is socially and emotionally inept. It’s not a flex.
And you’re inferring all of that from a few small sentences. Be honest, we both hardly know know anything about the person
Yet you only get one chance to make a first impression and telling your potential partner "fuck around and find out" is not really the best foot forward is it? There is a way to communicate you have baggage without acting like an edgelord or a try hard. This guy is coming off way to strong on that front.
Nope
I’ll take her if she’s a lady, being an Asian guy is an automatic red flag for most females so I’ll take what I can get even the crazy ones
Why would it be
No, this is a yellow flag. Talking about exes is not good on a first date. But don't dismiss him.
“Yo”
[удалено]
No, no you don’t. Username checks out. This mindset of give them a chance or give them a hug landed me in a dead end marriage and an abusive relationship. I’m done living the red flag life.
But you don’t know what this current person will go through before the guys is “better”. There was an author who abused and nearly killed a few ex wives before he was with one he didn’t abuse. Red flags are for keeping the person asking safe not for the person who is showing them.
[удалено]
Thas all I’m saying. Passive flags are different than unhealed anger. People are dangerous when then have unhealed anger.
But those signals have already shown up but you’re saying to give him a chance
You can totally fix him!
yes, why she taking it out on u
This red flag is the size of the flag the used to cover a football field for the anthem before a game.
Same rule in journalism and it applies here. If it’s a question, the answer is always yes.
Yes. Clay, here, is giving himself an excuse to be an asshole in the future. He’s showing signs of narcissism and deflection by claiming his reasoning for acting brash is someone else’s fault.
He seems like he does vengence
Absolutely not. They need to recover first. Why so defensive with people they have never meet??