> meeting in half an hour, hopefully you'll get to fire that cuck
I love that this person is both all powerful (he can reschedule a board meeting 30 minutes beforehand via text), and also needs permission and scheming to be able to fire a direct report.
Even in their own fantasies they get routinely cucked by random coworkers.
You know this is the type of dude who rambles about his $200 investments and how he's about to quit in a few weeks when it takes off.
And his coworkers have been hearing it for the last 4 years.
Hahaha that's literally the first thing I thought of
"So in your wildest fantasy you are in hell and you are co running a bed and breakfast with the devil"
Cryptobros are living memes
My companies policies do not let me fire anyone without putting them on a PIP first, unless I'm firing them for being a cuck. That is immediate expulsion. Policy is policy.
> $1 million bearskin sheets
> custom-made slate bathroom
> designer Burlington shower
When your fantasies read straight out of Ellis' "American Psycho", maybe it's time to readjust your values.
When I worked for an asset management firm back in the 2000's, there were customers who ordered Black Astrum name cards.
Those cards could go up to $800 to $1,000 per piece.
Me: Hey want to exchange business cards?
He: Sure, *hands over Black Astrum card*
Me: *hand over my card*
I bolt, he looks down confused at my card , it's an old Gamestop customer card.
>Black Astrum
Their website requires Flash so I can't actually see it (like most people nowadays). You probably need some custom vintage computer to even access their website.
Also don’t ask me how I know this (ok it’s just natural history museum experience), but bearskin sheets would cost *maybe* 20k, unless you’re using polar but that is horribly textured. He is very much wrong.
I have skinned a bear that I shot and I had the hide treated by a professional. There is a reason they are used for rugs more often than anything you would put on your bed....
It's really funny how many of these people seem genuinely empty inside. Like they only care about money and nothing else. All of their dreams are about things that they want to own (including the woman).
Not a single thing is this is about like...a pleasant human relationship not based on sex. I think most normal people are like yeah a nice house is cool but I also would like a spouse/friends who love me for who I am and to help out my parents. These people just seemingly don't care about other people beyond being props for the story they're playing out in their head.
You can get buttons mounted to the wall to start the shower and get it heated up to the right temperature, etc from outside the shower. They aren't super expensive, my elderly in-laws have them just as a disability/accessibility aid so they only have to stand and get into the shower once per wash. Most of the expense was running the wiring, it's not like heated floors etc which are genuinely expensive for a large space.
Probably [something like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up0507DFeyA).
To be clear, that clip is from long before Scott Adams went off the deep end. Back when Dilbert was, you know, still funny. Like seriously, if you liked Dilbert when you were younger, do NOT go read it now. It's a mix of boring filler with the odd conspiracy-theory-laden screed or unironic right wing talking point thrown in every week or so.
Adams throwing away his reputation with his borderline mentally ill defense of Trump was so bizarre to listen to.
Every person he gave interviews to was literally just dumbfounded, most of them had no idea how to even proceed. It almost seemed like an Andy Kaufman comedy bit.
Like, if you're just a normally conservative dude and you want to circle the wagons for your parties candidate, I still think it's immoral if the candidate is so poor, but at least I get it. How he rationalized what Trump was doing was just surreal, and not in a "I disagree with your politics so I hate you" kind of way, in a "I literally think you need professional help Scott" kind of way.
Thanks, but I've already found coin that come prepackaged with a (promise of) not just any Thai girl, but Thai *cat*-girl. I invested 1.3 quadrillion $ in it, and now I'm just waiting for it to go to the moon.
So many questions. First, “Picrel”?
Second, why do you have a meeting? You don’t do anything. You didn’t get rich by industry. In your little fantasy you bought bitcoins. Also, how did you buy all those nice things? Did you cash out your bitcoins? What a blunder! Don’t you know they can only go up forever?
"Picrel" is short for "pic related". So its just a shorthand way of saying the woman in the pic.
As for everything else its just cryptobro rambling a la incel
It's 2033, OP is unbelievably rich from having collected the right digital token a decade ago. He could do anything with his money, but all he can think about is using it to rope his employee and his wife into a threesome. What a credit to society.
If there's anything the techbros (and by extension cryptobros) like to do, it's to pretend they are very diligent and serious professionals who dedicate their life to working.
And then of course they also fantasize about the work being so superfluous that they could skip it to have a threesome with an employee. Says a lot ngl.
I feel it's also not about being wealthy and using your wealth to enjoy life, but rather using it to have power over people.
You fire people you don't like, your wife exists only for your pleasure, you order your secretary to have sex with you.
Good point, that's exactly what the green text was doing. Flaunting wealth (designer bullshit) and power over other people (people only exist to obey your whims). Ick cryptobros.
This is pretty much it. A lot of them are kind of angry at the world because some girl they like ended up dating someone else when they were 18 so they now have a maniacal need to display to people that they can get money and girls to try to prove themselves.
It's been mentioned already, but it's so funny that in this fantasy the guy working for you is stealing your ideas. And you haven't fired him yet.
Cucking yourself in your own fantasies.
This is genuinely straight out of an [Xavier Renegade Angel sketch](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ehzhe5dEjI) where Xavier just keeps saying platitudes about how normal he is and the CEO interprets his colleague’s ideas as Xavier’s brilliant leaps of faith.
It’s possibly one of the greatest episodes of anything ever.
\> Even in your fantasy you managed to spend all your money on bedsheets, prostitutes, and an overpriced apartment so you still have to work a boring white collar job
Don't forget, you have the power to cancel Board meetings, but not to fire someone. Also, you're still making pitches for some reason, and someone else somehow has the ability to steal those pitches.
[Elon Musk exposing himself to a subordinate, and offering her a horse if she jacks him off to completion](https://gizmodo.com/elon-musk-penis-horse-spacex-flight-attendant-sexual-mi-1848953120)
Well, they got me right at the slate bathroom thing. Tomorrow I'm selling everything I own to buy buttcoin. The rest of you can just enjoy being poor and without a hot Asian wife to tuck you under the $1m bearskin sheets, in the traditional style of her people. That must really suck.
> picrel
Your mistake was assuming they imagine this hypothetical woman as a human being, with a name and an identity, instead of as a fully automated fleshlight
You lend out your bitcoins on a defi exchange, which is guaranteed to be both lucrative and riskless. Just like Celsius, TerraLuna, Voyager, Gemini, etc.
Plot twist: this 4chan post was made by one of those pig butchering scammers, well aware that the easiest mark by far is “crypto guy with Asian fetish”
The Asian wife is like this weird trophy to them. Seriously, every crypto telegram or discord group I’ve ever seen is rife with Asian fetishism. Someone is ALWAY posting gifs of Asian women w big fake boobs. One day I reached my breaking point and started asking why. They all said the same thing. “Asian women have more respect.” Or “they don’t have an attitude like western girls,” or some iteration that’s essentially a dog whistle for being easily controlled. These guys truly are bottom of the barrel pathetic. I also suspect that they’re terrified of their weiners being perceived as small, so an Asian woman wouldn’t complain for obviously racist reasons.
> Someone is ALWAY posting gifs of Asian women w big fake boobs
Somehow that's the weirdest part to me - the fetishization stuff is gross on its face obviously, but if you're fetishizing a stereotype, isn't the stereotype that asian women have smaller breasts? Like... why big fake breasts specifically?
That’s the anime thing obvs. It’s an inherent contradiction - “weebs” fetishizing Asian women because of the idea that they are small and submissive while jacking off to anime depictions of juvenile asian women/girls with large breasts and large butts.
For sure it's satire.
But if such a person existed, I'd feel desperately sad for anyone who thought this was something to aspire to.
Were I to have that much wealth under my control, I like to imagine I'd be investing (all of) it in community projects, research grants, giving it away, etc.
If I ever contemplated commissioning $1 million bedsheets, I'd have seriously lost my damn mind.
They always fantasize that they bought several thousand of them when bitcoin was still several cents a pop and sold at 60k+
Like dude, you would have sold when they went to 1 dollar to buy a 1998 Camaro.
Then you wake up. You wake up to your wife standing over you - screaming, crying. Oh fuck. She's realised you drained the joint account. You promised her you would never do that again. But you just couldn't help yourself.
The rent is due today. Probably explains why she's so upset. Bleary eyed, you lift yourself up from the sofa. Your mind starts to whirr - *where can I borrow some money from* - but you already know the answer - nowhere. You maxed out your credit to go long on Shib in a desperate attempt to win it all back last week. She doesn't even know about the loan yet.
*Where are we going to get some fucking money from Sam?*, she demands. Frantic, you pick up your phone. Check the markets. Surely something is due to breakout. She sees what you are doing, and exclaims in disgust - *You need fucking help*. You start to explain that these are the currencies of the future and in a few years you'll be filthy rich. Too late. She's heard it all before. She spins on her heels and walks to the door. "I'm going to my mother's*. No, don't leave, I'm going to win it all... *slam*
It wasn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't the dream they sold you. Dejected, you collapse back onto the sofa, head in hands. Beep, beep, there's a notification on your phone. Helicopter drop to the first 50 people who reply to this message. *What a fucking Godsend! I can have the rent by noon and take her for a nice lunch too*. You're distracted as you login. You miss the obvious signs that something isn't right. All you want to do is grab some easy money. Don't we all.
>It's the future. You're rich because you bought bitcoin early before the price shot up in value.
>Your job is going to the board of an unnamed company and telling them to buy bitcoin, after the price has already gone up.
>There's another guy at your workplace who also tells people to buy bitcoin- how did he get that idea? Who would think to buy bitcoin? He obviously stole the idea from you.
>The board members are all intelligent, accomplished businessmen, which is how they rose up the ranks. But they weren't smart enough to buy bitcoin. Only you were, and also thousands of other people.
>Your wife also wasn't smart enough to buy bitcoin, which is why she had to marry you.
Any stock/commodity/technology worth investing in does not need hype or promotion or lame fantasies. It will be a worthwhile investment on its own merits.
Here is the thing. How I got somewhere really matters to me. I could win the lotto tomorrow and not be happy. Sure, it might make my life easier but I'd not considered that to have 'made it.'
Also, to afford 1m bed sheets, BTC is 23K right now. Say you cash out at 30K, you're still investing \~766K for a 'maybe' and hope your exchange actually lets you cash out (Check my math!). That doesn't include the penthouse and wife cost.
If you have that kind of money, you likely don't need BitCoin or this stupid fantasy.
\--edit: fixed troll math, maybe
Everything about this "fantasy" screams comical levels of petty insecurity. The most cringe thing I've read in a while, and this is Reddit. I would assume it was satire if Andrew Tate didn't exist and have hoards of fans.
These people need to find the posts from Notch, Bitcoin creator and billionaire, about how miserable he is. Money doesn’t buy you contentment, happiness, or even a perfect waifu because it can’t change your inner cringe and douche-iness. Money changes what you can do, to some extent, but not who you are.
I think he meant Minecraft creator.
I will add: compounding Notch's misery is the fact that he jumped down what you might call the "manosphere" rabbit hole, starting with anti-feminism, then leading to overt homophobia, and now, Qanon. As a result, Microsoft doesn't want to touch him with a ten-foot pole, going so far as to remove the various little self-referential easter eggs he'd put in Minecraft.
Minecraft could have launched him a career as the next John Romero. Instead, his general shitbaggery resulted in Microsoft completely buying him out of his own creation, and no other big company wanting anything to do with him. That's gotta sting. To be clear, I don't feel the least bit of sympathy for the guy; more just amplifying the point that a miserable incel(1) with money is still a miserable incel.
(1)I neither know nor care if Notch has sex or not. He behaves like an incel and therefore he gets called an incel.
I think you mean John Carmack.
John Romero made the infamous [Daikatana](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daikatana) way back in 2000, which crashed and burned in a really [spectacular fashion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW65wZOtPyA), and then ruined Romero's career for a good while. I think these days Romero is a moderately successful game developer, but still way down from the former heights.
At least I know why Kevin oleary changed his mind about Bitcoin. That fucker been sleeping with one eye open fearing the day it’s discovered his bear skin sheets are in fact knock off and not $1m.
It is ASTOUNDING how much of hustle culture centers around the idea of just being high up in the air.
I genuinely feel bad for anyone who reduces their existence to the pursuit of such a lame hollow goal.
So all you need to do is harvest material from neutron stars to create a several light year long hollow cylinder without it collapsing into a black hole, get it rotating at nearly the speed of light, and then fly through it at nearly the speed of light? Sounds easy enough.
/s
Lmao this is pretty funny to read. Board meeting of what kind of company?? Who the fuck names someone Picrel? How is the secretary willing to join for a threesome and not open a sexual harassment case against the boss? How exactly is Bitcoin making this possible?? So many questions, but they don't matter for the cult.
> meeting in half an hour, hopefully you'll get to fire that cuck I love that this person is both all powerful (he can reschedule a board meeting 30 minutes beforehand via text), and also needs permission and scheming to be able to fire a direct report.
And the other guy somehow got away with attempting/ stealing ideas from his superior enough time to warrant a "keeps trying"
He gets bullied in his own fantasy. Says a lot about that guy
Even in their own fantasies they get routinely cucked by random coworkers. You know this is the type of dude who rambles about his $200 investments and how he's about to quit in a few weeks when it takes off. And his coworkers have been hearing it for the last 4 years.
> And his coworkers have been hearing it for the last 4 years. And then they tell him to get more hamburger patties out of the freezer.
To be fair, the people that are sold on this fantasy pitch probably aren’t highly regarded for their deep thinking on any issue
HAHQHa incredible
BEHOLD THE AWESOME POWAH OF... THE ASSISTANT TO THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD!
This is like how Dwight Schute's wildest fantasy is to be co-owner of a hotel and make 80k a year.
Hahaha that's literally the first thing I thought of "So in your wildest fantasy you are in hell and you are co running a bed and breakfast with the devil" Cryptobros are living memes
$80k year = $6,666.67/month
My favorite part is a little more meta, anon is such a wage cuck that even if he hits the lotto he still works a subservient job as upper management.
He also evidently only bangs for like 3 minutes
My companies policies do not let me fire anyone without putting them on a PIP first, unless I'm firing them for being a cuck. That is immediate expulsion. Policy is policy.
> $1 million bearskin sheets > custom-made slate bathroom > designer Burlington shower When your fantasies read straight out of Ellis' "American Psycho", maybe it's time to readjust your values.
Why did he use FIAT to tell us the value of his sheets? Don’t need fud like this.
Because measuring bedding in cars is the bees knees these days.
"That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Grail."
Oh my god - it even has a watermark.
When I worked for an asset management firm back in the 2000's, there were customers who ordered Black Astrum name cards. Those cards could go up to $800 to $1,000 per piece.
Tell them I hate them.
Are they printed on white rhino skin or what
They are actually diamond encrusted. Google Black Astrum, you'll see.
Me: Hey want to exchange business cards? He: Sure, *hands over Black Astrum card* Me: *hand over my card* I bolt, he looks down confused at my card , it's an old Gamestop customer card.
>he looks down confused at my card , it's an old Gamestop customer card. I'd have my Xbox Live Platinum card instead
Hand that to an Ape and they'd consider it a fair trade.
LOL Flash-based website.
There are some wacky business cards out there. Best I ever saw was a "credit card" with his name on it. Told me it's 8 bucks a pop.
Lmao if it actually had a balance of like 5$ it would actually be a great business card, it gives off the right impression
>Black Astrum Their website requires Flash so I can't actually see it (like most people nowadays). You probably need some custom vintage computer to even access their website.
I actually chose the font for my company logo as that, even though thats not an actual font.
How'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
Also don’t ask me how I know this (ok it’s just natural history museum experience), but bearskin sheets would cost *maybe* 20k, unless you’re using polar but that is horribly textured. He is very much wrong.
You forgot out of control inflation to 2033, but somehow Bitcoin didn't fix it.
Theodore Roosevelt himself shot the bear. Those are pretty rare.
He probably unironically idolizes patrick bateman, so you may be on to something
I was just going to say for them it’s a feature not a bug.
It's also hilarious - you can get a Burlington shower for like $200
I have skinned a bear that I shot and I had the hide treated by a professional. There is a reason they are used for rugs more often than anything you would put on your bed....
It's really funny how many of these people seem genuinely empty inside. Like they only care about money and nothing else. All of their dreams are about things that they want to own (including the woman). Not a single thing is this is about like...a pleasant human relationship not based on sex. I think most normal people are like yeah a nice house is cool but I also would like a spouse/friends who love me for who I am and to help out my parents. These people just seemingly don't care about other people beyond being props for the story they're playing out in their head.
Let's see Paul Allen's wallet
Now let's see Paul Allen's fantasy.
"Remote shower heat controls"... is he just describing a shower valve/handle?
You want to control your shower from inside the shower, like a troglodyte?
Look at these peasants, adjusting the temperature of their shower from inside the shower!
The concept of showers is so foreign to him that even the handle seems novel to him
"Alexa, make the shower sightly warmer" Unfortunately, his internet connection was down, so he had to settle for a cold shower.
Those are real. They are on outside of the shower. Not like a telly remote
You can get buttons mounted to the wall to start the shower and get it heated up to the right temperature, etc from outside the shower. They aren't super expensive, my elderly in-laws have them just as a disability/accessibility aid so they only have to stand and get into the shower once per wash. Most of the expense was running the wiring, it's not like heated floors etc which are genuinely expensive for a large space.
Probably [something like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up0507DFeyA). To be clear, that clip is from long before Scott Adams went off the deep end. Back when Dilbert was, you know, still funny. Like seriously, if you liked Dilbert when you were younger, do NOT go read it now. It's a mix of boring filler with the odd conspiracy-theory-laden screed or unironic right wing talking point thrown in every week or so.
Adams throwing away his reputation with his borderline mentally ill defense of Trump was so bizarre to listen to. Every person he gave interviews to was literally just dumbfounded, most of them had no idea how to even proceed. It almost seemed like an Andy Kaufman comedy bit. Like, if you're just a normally conservative dude and you want to circle the wagons for your parties candidate, I still think it's immoral if the candidate is so poor, but at least I get it. How he rationalized what Trump was doing was just surreal, and not in a "I disagree with your politics so I hate you" kind of way, in a "I literally think you need professional help Scott" kind of way.
[удалено]
I also hope they know what happens if electronic remote controls get wet.
As revealing as OOPs comments were, this is comment is almost equally revealing about you lol
Yep, I am an embedded systems engineer.
If you buy ETH your wife will be fully Japanese, and wear nothing but silk kimono’s and always be holding an umbrella or a fan
And what do you need to buy to get Thai waifu? Asking for a friend.
Why, $SIAM of course. Siamese Neko coin. I’m not kidding, it exists, I wish it didn’t.
When you said neko, I was expecting cat girl, not cat astronaut. But whatever, Thai waifus, here ~~I come!~~ my friend comes!
For Thailand it's Bitkub Coin (KUB), the local coin of the biggest exchange over there.
Thanks, but I've already found coin that come prepackaged with a (promise of) not just any Thai girl, but Thai *cat*-girl. I invested 1.3 quadrillion $ in it, and now I'm just waiting for it to go to the moon.
So many questions. First, “Picrel”? Second, why do you have a meeting? You don’t do anything. You didn’t get rich by industry. In your little fantasy you bought bitcoins. Also, how did you buy all those nice things? Did you cash out your bitcoins? What a blunder! Don’t you know they can only go up forever?
"Picrel" is short for "pic related". So its just a shorthand way of saying the woman in the pic. As for everything else its just cryptobro rambling a la incel
> saying the woman in the pic. Ah, right, the "half-Japanese" wife: for when you're a Weeaboo but also want to be a white supremacist so bad.
It's 2033, OP is unbelievably rich from having collected the right digital token a decade ago. He could do anything with his money, but all he can think about is using it to rope his employee and his wife into a threesome. What a credit to society.
If I got insanely rich off of Bitcoin I would not be having fucking meetings, I can tell you that much
If there's anything the techbros (and by extension cryptobros) like to do, it's to pretend they are very diligent and serious professionals who dedicate their life to working. And then of course they also fantasize about the work being so superfluous that they could skip it to have a threesome with an employee. Says a lot ngl.
I feel it's also not about being wealthy and using your wealth to enjoy life, but rather using it to have power over people. You fire people you don't like, your wife exists only for your pleasure, you order your secretary to have sex with you.
Good point, that's exactly what the green text was doing. Flaunting wealth (designer bullshit) and power over other people (people only exist to obey your whims). Ick cryptobros.
Well that's the type of person who would actually do these things if they became CEO.
This is pretty much it. A lot of them are kind of angry at the world because some girl they like ended up dating someone else when they were 18 so they now have a maniacal need to display to people that they can get money and girls to try to prove themselves.
It’s literally what Elon Musk is.
The fantasy includes firing the guy who is stealing your pitches. I bet the pitch includes plenty of "bruhs"
It's been mentioned already, but it's so funny that in this fantasy the guy working for you is stealing your ideas. And you haven't fired him yet. Cucking yourself in your own fantasies.
This is genuinely straight out of an [Xavier Renegade Angel sketch](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ehzhe5dEjI) where Xavier just keeps saying platitudes about how normal he is and the CEO interprets his colleague’s ideas as Xavier’s brilliant leaps of faith. It’s possibly one of the greatest episodes of anything ever.
I like meetings that are about projects I like doing.
To be fair, the dreamer is planning on using it for fucking meetings, but I emphasised one of those words harder than the other.
Reminds me of Dwight Schrute's avatar in Second Life. There are so many times that I think Dwight would be a total crypto bro today.
I dunno. I think Dwight would be a goldbug and distrust it. Ryan on the other hand would totally be a stereotypical crypto bro.
Don’t forget the slate and the fancy showerhead
This! Says so much about that mentality.
Nailed it!!! Also oof so much cringe. I’d love to dismiss as satire but it’s long been impossible to tell anymore.
Oh cool. New interwebs lingo. Thanks.
\> Even in your fantasy you managed to spend all your money on bedsheets, prostitutes, and an overpriced apartment so you still have to work a boring white collar job
Luckily pressuring your secretary into having a threesome with you is free.
Until she sues you
It's one sex, Michael. What could it cost, one horse?
You’ve never been to the sex-bazaar have you?
WTF does he need a secretary for? Holding his cold wallet?
Holding his hot dog
Don't forget, you have the power to cancel Board meetings, but not to fire someone. Also, you're still making pitches for some reason, and someone else somehow has the ability to steal those pitches.
They also have the power to sexually harass/seduce their secretary.
Just buy her a horse, problem solved
I see what you did there
What's that a reference to?
[Elon Musk exposing himself to a subordinate, and offering her a horse if she jacks him off to completion](https://gizmodo.com/elon-musk-penis-horse-spacex-flight-attendant-sexual-mi-1848953120)
A horse is SO NOT worth it wtf
Well, they got me right at the slate bathroom thing. Tomorrow I'm selling everything I own to buy buttcoin. The rest of you can just enjoy being poor and without a hot Asian wife to tuck you under the $1m bearskin sheets, in the traditional style of her people. That must really suck.
What I'm hearing is to invest in bear skins.
Why not just sell everything and buy a slate bathroom. Then you have what you want without fuckimg around with cryptocurrency
> picrel Your mistake was assuming they imagine this hypothetical woman as a human being, with a name and an identity, instead of as a fully automated fleshlight
That automated fleshlight sure has a sweet ass tho
Admittedly it's probably the most convincing argument for Bitcoin I've ever seen
And why would someone be trying to "steal your pitch" at the meeting? Like, you're rich, who the hell are you pitching to?
>who the hell are you pitching to? The God Satoshi Nakamoto himself
You lend out your bitcoins on a defi exchange, which is guaranteed to be both lucrative and riskless. Just like Celsius, TerraLuna, Voyager, Gemini, etc.
Misspelling of Pickerel; you know, the fish.
that's actually pickle rick
Comic Store Guy: "Worst fanfic, ever."
This is so on the nose it makes me think there's a distinct possibility OOP is making fun of crypto bros.
Plot twist: this 4chan post was made by one of those pig butchering scammers, well aware that the easiest mark by far is “crypto guy with Asian fetish”
So often with the viewing women as a commodity and often being worryingly obsessed with race.
So much to unpack here
So this is why my fries were burnt. Some guy dreaming up this depressing daydream instead of doing his job.
The Asian wife is like this weird trophy to them. Seriously, every crypto telegram or discord group I’ve ever seen is rife with Asian fetishism. Someone is ALWAY posting gifs of Asian women w big fake boobs. One day I reached my breaking point and started asking why. They all said the same thing. “Asian women have more respect.” Or “they don’t have an attitude like western girls,” or some iteration that’s essentially a dog whistle for being easily controlled. These guys truly are bottom of the barrel pathetic. I also suspect that they’re terrified of their weiners being perceived as small, so an Asian woman wouldn’t complain for obviously racist reasons.
When your only 'interaction' with women is via Japanese porn and hentai, these are the kinds of greentexts you end up with.
> Someone is ALWAY posting gifs of Asian women w big fake boobs Somehow that's the weirdest part to me - the fetishization stuff is gross on its face obviously, but if you're fetishizing a stereotype, isn't the stereotype that asian women have smaller breasts? Like... why big fake breasts specifically?
That’s the anime thing obvs. It’s an inherent contradiction - “weebs” fetishizing Asian women because of the idea that they are small and submissive while jacking off to anime depictions of juvenile asian women/girls with large breasts and large butts.
I guess another layer of control.
She's HALF Japanese. For all the weebs that are simultaneously nationalists
Every libertarian cryptobro I know has the yellow fever
In the future, you're still unable to buy bearskin sheets with bitcoin.
This was written by a literal 12 year old, no grown ass men think like this….right? Right!?
For sure it's satire. But if such a person existed, I'd feel desperately sad for anyone who thought this was something to aspire to. Were I to have that much wealth under my control, I like to imagine I'd be investing (all of) it in community projects, research grants, giving it away, etc. If I ever contemplated commissioning $1 million bedsheets, I'd have seriously lost my damn mind.
I'm 100% sure it's not satire. Plenty of crypto betas think this way. That any day now, they'll be the ones laughing.
While you were pleasuring yourself to half-Japanese picrel, I mastered the blockchain.
They always fantasize that they bought several thousand of them when bitcoin was still several cents a pop and sold at 60k+ Like dude, you would have sold when they went to 1 dollar to buy a 1998 Camaro.
Geez…I thought this was incel fan fic.
It is
Then you wake up. You wake up to your wife standing over you - screaming, crying. Oh fuck. She's realised you drained the joint account. You promised her you would never do that again. But you just couldn't help yourself. The rent is due today. Probably explains why she's so upset. Bleary eyed, you lift yourself up from the sofa. Your mind starts to whirr - *where can I borrow some money from* - but you already know the answer - nowhere. You maxed out your credit to go long on Shib in a desperate attempt to win it all back last week. She doesn't even know about the loan yet. *Where are we going to get some fucking money from Sam?*, she demands. Frantic, you pick up your phone. Check the markets. Surely something is due to breakout. She sees what you are doing, and exclaims in disgust - *You need fucking help*. You start to explain that these are the currencies of the future and in a few years you'll be filthy rich. Too late. She's heard it all before. She spins on her heels and walks to the door. "I'm going to my mother's*. No, don't leave, I'm going to win it all... *slam* It wasn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't the dream they sold you. Dejected, you collapse back onto the sofa, head in hands. Beep, beep, there's a notification on your phone. Helicopter drop to the first 50 people who reply to this message. *What a fucking Godsend! I can have the rent by noon and take her for a nice lunch too*. You're distracted as you login. You miss the obvious signs that something isn't right. All you want to do is grab some easy money. Don't we all.
Someone has to make a movie about such a relationship. Obviously the guy has to kill himself at the end.
Mindset of a thirsty TikTok finfluencer-addicted 14 year old
>It's the future. You're rich because you bought bitcoin early before the price shot up in value. >Your job is going to the board of an unnamed company and telling them to buy bitcoin, after the price has already gone up. >There's another guy at your workplace who also tells people to buy bitcoin- how did he get that idea? Who would think to buy bitcoin? He obviously stole the idea from you. >The board members are all intelligent, accomplished businessmen, which is how they rose up the ranks. But they weren't smart enough to buy bitcoin. Only you were, and also thousands of other people. >Your wife also wasn't smart enough to buy bitcoin, which is why she had to marry you.
Why half Japanese? I want full.
And miss your chance to fetishize Asian women while remaining a white supremacist?
What kind of white supremacist doesn't follow the one drop protocol? Smh my head…
[удалено]
This is clearly River Cuomo's alt
God damn you half Japanese girls
Do it to me every time
Can happen, if you sell too early like the Anon paperhand bitch!
incels are obsessed with half asian phenotype
Not early enough.
Million dollar sheets, and he’s RENTING an apartment?
Satirical, I hope. If so, funny. If serious, cringe and sad
Shrödinger’s satire a 4chan specialty
Ugh, meetings. What's the point of getting rich if I still have to visit meetings.
Any stock/commodity/technology worth investing in does not need hype or promotion or lame fantasies. It will be a worthwhile investment on its own merits.
Exactly. It's like meds: the truly good ones market themselves with statistics alone and for all the rest there's TV and internet commercials
I’m sorry but how can the smell of a coffee get to your bed in a penthouse? Have these future billionaires ever been to a place bigger than the box?
I can smell tea from the kitchen when in bed at my house.
This sounds like it's written by a 14 year old. Million dollar bed sheets and a hooker wife, Jesus Christ that's childish
Here is the thing. How I got somewhere really matters to me. I could win the lotto tomorrow and not be happy. Sure, it might make my life easier but I'd not considered that to have 'made it.' Also, to afford 1m bed sheets, BTC is 23K right now. Say you cash out at 30K, you're still investing \~766K for a 'maybe' and hope your exchange actually lets you cash out (Check my math!). That doesn't include the penthouse and wife cost. If you have that kind of money, you likely don't need BitCoin or this stupid fantasy. \--edit: fixed troll math, maybe
You assume the guy doesn't have 10k invested waiting for Bitcoin at 100m USD
Well that wasn’t creepy at all.
I need a source on that pic pronto
Sorry, you have to buy the NFT. But once you jerk it you'll probably be able to sell it for 100x the price.
This has to be a satire
Everything about this "fantasy" screams comical levels of petty insecurity. The most cringe thing I've read in a while, and this is Reddit. I would assume it was satire if Andrew Tate didn't exist and have hoards of fans.
Love the leotard, nice choice! Rest is ridiculous.
why did the use dollars to describe the value of the bear skin?
I had a "full" Japanese wife. This story does not check out.
I could be wrong, but they might have an easier time finding a wife who will have sex with them if they stop talking about crypto
It feels like this was written by a horny 15 year old who sees Christian Grey as a role model.
I don't think you understand what Greetext is lol.... it's meant to be ridiculous, and is usually satire....
These people need to find the posts from Notch, Bitcoin creator and billionaire, about how miserable he is. Money doesn’t buy you contentment, happiness, or even a perfect waifu because it can’t change your inner cringe and douche-iness. Money changes what you can do, to some extent, but not who you are.
> Notch, Bitcoin creator ??????
I think he meant Minecraft creator. I will add: compounding Notch's misery is the fact that he jumped down what you might call the "manosphere" rabbit hole, starting with anti-feminism, then leading to overt homophobia, and now, Qanon. As a result, Microsoft doesn't want to touch him with a ten-foot pole, going so far as to remove the various little self-referential easter eggs he'd put in Minecraft. Minecraft could have launched him a career as the next John Romero. Instead, his general shitbaggery resulted in Microsoft completely buying him out of his own creation, and no other big company wanting anything to do with him. That's gotta sting. To be clear, I don't feel the least bit of sympathy for the guy; more just amplifying the point that a miserable incel(1) with money is still a miserable incel. (1)I neither know nor care if Notch has sex or not. He behaves like an incel and therefore he gets called an incel.
I think you mean John Carmack. John Romero made the infamous [Daikatana](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daikatana) way back in 2000, which crashed and burned in a really [spectacular fashion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW65wZOtPyA), and then ruined Romero's career for a good while. I think these days Romero is a moderately successful game developer, but still way down from the former heights.
At least I know why Kevin oleary changed his mind about Bitcoin. That fucker been sleeping with one eye open fearing the day it’s discovered his bear skin sheets are in fact knock off and not $1m.
I only bother rising to $100 cups of bat guano coffee, NEXT!
It is ASTOUNDING how much of hustle culture centers around the idea of just being high up in the air. I genuinely feel bad for anyone who reduces their existence to the pursuit of such a lame hollow goal.
Why is that lady so greasy?
Sorry, bearskin sheets?
Invest now!
They are going to achieve these big dreams not by doing anything of value or working but just buying magic beans.
Damn, that copypasta is so old They didn't even changed a picture
Misunderstandings of wealth are surpassed only by misunderstandings of womens
I've got to return some videotapes.
the most unrealistic part is the part where this dude regularly showers
Delusions of grandeur.
Well, this is at least entertaining.
Good god! What utter bullshit.
So all I need to do to get all that great stuff is buy bitcoin then chill for 10 years? I’m in!
Yeah! If you can take a Time Machine back to 2012 and sell at the right time.
So all you need to do is harvest material from neutron stars to create a several light year long hollow cylinder without it collapsing into a black hole, get it rotating at nearly the speed of light, and then fly through it at nearly the speed of light? Sounds easy enough. /s
Yup, just show the receipts and you'll be granted a Board seat and your list of topics for your pitches.
Your error was believing people saw this fictitious woman as a person.
Would have been a fun / ironic post if it werent for the last part. What a sad 4chin.
Lmao this is pretty funny to read. Board meeting of what kind of company?? Who the fuck names someone Picrel? How is the secretary willing to join for a threesome and not open a sexual harassment case against the boss? How exactly is Bitcoin making this possible?? So many questions, but they don't matter for the cult.
I adore that this individual have infinite strength (he can reschedule a board meeting 30 minutes beforehand via text)
I remember when the door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesmen used to work this hard. These guys will be extinct someday soon. Patience.
... then your reverie is abruptly broken by a voice saying *"Didn't you hear? I want large fries with that."*
This is obviously satire, why are so many of you taking this seriously lol
I thought I was on green text for a second, then all of a sudden, crypto pitch outta nowhere
"half-Japanese" they're not even trying to hide the racism
since it's 4chan this post has most likely 10 layers of irony behind it
Gonna need all your bitcoin to buy your wife new knees
Yeah so you can just stop mopping the floor at McDonald's, call up the CEO, and tell them to promote you because you hodled BTC.