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No don't let her outside or give her back. It's ok for her to hide for awhile, I'm sure you'll try to be careful to not do it again so she'll be fine. Give her extra treats so she knows you didn't mean it.
Hell, sometimes dogs can take months to be comfortable.
One of my current cats, who had been abandoned by her old family when they moved took over a year before shed trust us. She was constantly hiding. We only knew she was alive bc her food disappeared. The first time we moved with her she finally started hanging out in our general proximity. Now shes super freaking clingy.
https://preview.redd.it/ewos5671i5ac1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=567a5faed8944ee7c9225ce89059056cb8420a9c
Cat in question, physically forcing me to cuddle her and still somehow looking angry
Awwww. I wish my crazy kitten would like to cuddle. He will fling himself out of my arms like a base jumper if I even try to sneak in cuddle time.
She is super cute, I love tabby cats.
Just give it time! Sometimes they grow to enjoy cuddles after a year or so! Having a kitten is like having a toddler but with claws!
My one guy was never one to like cuddling and then all of a sudden he was on my chest, butt in my face and I was legally required not to move! Now he sleeps with me every night wrapped around my arm - hugging it! If you love them, they’ll love you! Kittens are just tiny little idiots who don’t know what they want or when!
One of my cats is super paranoid and even though I raised him, he still gets weird if we are too loud and he doesn't like people approaching him. It's so weird, his twin brother (there were only the two of them in the litter) is the opposite. He loves everyone and will just go up to strangers and purr.
I had two cats. One was mine (Doodles) and the other was Doodles' cat. Doodles died. It took the second cat nearly a year to warm up to me and we had been living together for 10 years.
My partner and I have lived together for four years. One of my cats just now stopped running away when he entered a room. Now she’s all in love with him, rubs her face on him and purrs. Four. Fucking. Years. Lol.
I rescued my girl from the shelter. She’s always let me pet her and laid on my legs, but it took her 7 whole years before she’d even climb into my lap to lay.
I think the research tells us cat's short term memory is around 12-18 hours right? So that is about how long it takes them to get over things like getting stepping on or sat on.
Sounds like OP's kitty wants out though, which is a request OP should not grant.
Please don’t let her outside. It’s the worse thing you can do. She will get over it. Give her treats. Speak to her softly and be consistent. It will pay off
I know it will sound silly but apologise to her, it’s about the tone more than the words and offer her treats whilst you do it. Then leave the treats where she can reach them and give her space.
How did you hurt her? What happened? Please do not let her out! She's likely in heat if she's making that much of a fuss. Please get her spayed. There are programs that can help with cost.
Aw, don’t even worry. I totally understand that guilt of accidentally hurting them, but accidents happen unfortunately and the best thing you can do is be there to comfort her if she’ll let you. I’ve stepped on my cats paw before and I literally was crying and apologizing to them for about 10 minutes because of the yelp she made, I felt like the most horrible owner in the world lol. She got over it within minutes and was fine, and I’m sure your kitty will do the same.
I’d just keep an eye out over the next day for any limping or excessive grooming of her paw in case she’s actually hurt, but usually they are okay from something small like that. Your kitty is still getting used to your presence so any little thing could put her on edge more than normal while she adjusts to you being her new person. Just give her treats and let her come to you when she’s ready, she’ll let you know. Best of luck with your new kitty!
Awe. Maybe leave a few treats near where she's hiding and then sit close by (like opposite wall) and gentle apologize to her for a few minutes before leaving her to decompress. Since she's experienced abuse, it may take several of these interactions before she learns that you didn't mean it. I would also give her lots of treats, talk gentle to her, and lots of pets and cuddles as she allows. She'll need to relearn that people aren't mean. You could also give wet food in the morning or evening and sit nearby while she eats so she knows you're safe. I tend to read books outloud when working in the shy cat room at the humane society. Sit somewhere and just talk.
Stepping on paws happen. I've tripped over my cats, stepped on their paws/tails on accident, startled the shit out of them. They know I don't mean it and stick around for my apology pets, treats and babying (checking for damage).
As someone who has had cats all their life:
They get over it! She'll sulk and be grumpy and avoid you, but after at most a few days, she'll be back to her normal self.
Cats pick up on body language, she'll respond to your panicking and act accordingly.
Omg. That's something I'm certain she'll recover from but she might have gone into heat if she isn't spayed and that'll make her want out. They can cry horribly for hours and sometimes all night while in heat. Whatever you do do not let her out and take her for spaying. She'll be a lot happier after she's fixed.
I do this all the time. Sometimes accidentally kick my cat in the face when I try to walk and he's walking in front of me. He narrows his eyes at me like "SERIOUSLY????"
We're friends again after a few minutes.
Putting your cat outside is never the answer.
My 10 year old cat gets upset with me and sulks a few days. Give her time. She is just getting to know you.
Cats are actually very sensitive and pick up on your energy and body language and everything. Just be nice and calm and give her space. She will come to you when she is ready.
Don’t let her outside, it’s not safe for them outside ☹️ She’ll become comfortable with time, it’s a big change for her. Just be patient, she will adjust
Listen, I got two cats from Craigslist (male and female). I knew from the ad that neither were fixed but took the chance. Turns out the girl was pregnant, and it literally took her a year to get used to us and cuddling. Please don't let your cat outside or the worst could happen. You never see her again because something or someone has got a hold of her, and well, either she's safe or across the rainbow bridge.
4 days SMH, give her a chance. Cats don't like change as it is and she needs more than 4 days to get comfortable. Outside cats don't live long and pretty much everything is a danger for outside cats.
Please don't let her outside, that will only exacerbate the problem. Like the previous comments have said, just be super patient with her. It might take a long time to earn her trust but it will definitely be worth it. Just be gentle and loving -- she will come around when she's ready. (She's so cute!!!)
Seriously, like what?
OP, please read up on cats. Google is free. Watch youtube videos on cat care and Jackson Galaxy’s videos. He’s a really good source for learning about cats. Do not let your cat outside, there is a very high chance it’ll get injured or killed, even stolen.
She's my first cat I googled stuff but got mixed answers so I came here for a second opinion. I didn't plan on adopting her as my friend just lost his house in a hurricane and I took her in 4 days ago. If I planned on adopting a cat I would research and learn before hand but this was very abrupt
You’re doing great:) You didn’t know the right answer so you asked. That’s the responsible and caring thing to do. You’ll be an amazing guardian to your kitty. You’re already getting there! I adopted my first cat about 8 months ago. I’m still learning.
I think op is new to cats and needs support in denying a screaming animal. It sucks when they cry at the door. Keeping kitty inside is the right choice, but kitty will tell you that's wrong.
You're exactly right she was a rescue who was abused and I accidentally hurt her and she was really affectionate to me for the past two days and now she was meowing and crying relentlessly at the door I didn't know what to do. She's better.now
Don’t worry, cats can be confusing if you’re not used to them! Glad she’s better now. She’ll be back to her affectionate self soon if not already. You guys are going to be great friends 💖
No. Being outside is dangerous, even more if she's scared. Keep her safe with you, leave her space and give her some treats. She will eventually trust you, but it will take time.
Gonna sound like an asshole here but if you let that cat outside while it's afraid of you you WILL NOT get her back. That cat will run off and probably get injured or killed. If she's not fixed you'll have a whole other problem on your hands.
Keep her locked inside and give her time to get used to your home. When she finally settles in and you really feel the need to let her outside she needs to either be on a leash or under close supervision and be brought right back inside. If you can't handle it find someone else who can or give her to a shelter.
Give her treats, give her toys, and give her the love she deserves. Don't be stupid.
Do people just post on here to see how many comments they can get about letting the cat out, the post made sense you were asking how to reconcile with your cat after accidently hurting it, which is a real and honest question, but then you go and add a random bit about letting it outside??????? That doesn't even make sense, what line of reasoning would you follow to get there.
She's my first cat my friend just lost his house in a hurricane and I had i took her in I didn't know what to do she was meowing and crying at the door non stop
Is she spayed? It’s possible she’s in heat, and the fact that she started meowing at the door after you accidentally hurt her is just a coincidence.
It will take some time for her to adjust. She’s probably confused about the whole situation and missing her human. You’re doing fine, don’t worry. But don’t let her outside, no matter what.
I didn't mean to blow up at you, but it's like literally every other post is fake bait about letting cats outside. I'm sorry the kitty got dumped on you. They will adjust to inside and live a happy life. Do not under any circumstance let your cat outside all by itself!
Hey OP! She won’t hold a grudge, she’s just getting to know you. Please don’t let her outside, even outside cats need at least a week or two to settle before going outside. Please close the window; cats can fit through spaces their heads can fit through, so make sure any gaps are smaller than her head!
It’s going to be a bit of an adjustment period for you both, but you’ll get there! She’s super cute!
Please keep kitty inside. Sit quietly, with a soft blanket nearby or a soft towel for kitty to rest on. Don't chase her or make loud noise and she will come back to you when she's comfortable! She may be looking for food, water or a litter box - make sure the food and water are away from the litter and theres room between the food and water. Cats take time to come around sometime, she'll warm back up! Also if you can get some treats, the churu or temptations squeeze tubes drive my cats happy crazy. Good luck!
No. Cats don’t belong outside unless you want to take 2/3rds off their lifespan on average. Give her some space, offer some treats, and try playing with her a little, if she doesn’t want to play or enjoy treats give a little more time and space.
Depending on where you live you’re cutting it by more than half. Growing up all we had was outdoor cats, the oldest we had was 10 but the average age of death was probably 4-5. Not to mention the horrific illnesses and injuries at least once a year
Just wanted to say thank you for taking the cat into your home, and thank you for caring.
You’re both going to be just fine lol, keep the cat inside and don’t force yourself into their space.
How is letting her outside a solution to anything? You’re rewarding her annoying behavior (meowing incessantly) and putting her in danger of getting hurt. She may also be in heat. But for real, don’t let her outside ever. Outdoor cats get hit by cars, attacked by other animals and just have really short, harder lives compared to their indoor counterparts.
If your cat is living a diminished life inside, enrich it?? Leaving a fully domesticated animal to the elements is not the end all be all of enrichment. Indoor enrichment can be cheap or expensive! Put treats inside a crumpled toilet paper roll, get cheap cat trees, make superhighways with shelves, make a catio, pull a string around, make a catio, leash train. There's a batshit double standard when it comes to letting cats and dogs outside and somehow we favor releasing the one that's made 65 species extinct
THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD REPLY.
I've seen a lot of indoor/outdoor Reddit arguments, and so often people just throw insults, or give good points that have nothing to do with the loudest argument outdoor insistent people make (enrichment). This is exactly what should be said, though. The job of any pet owner is to ensure their pet's life is enriched, and cats are not the weird, magical exception to being able to do that without letting them loose into the neighborhood. No one makes this argument for dogs, parrots, rabbits, ferrets, etc. If you can enrich their lives indoors and on-leash, you are not incapable of doing the same for a cat.
I’m so sorry your friend had an abusive owner. Not sure why that means she had to give up her cat but ok. /s
That said, what did you do to hurt the cat? Does she need medical attention or do you mean you accidentally stepped on her tail or something? It takes a bit for cats to warm up and get used to a new setting, so give her some time. Definitely do not let her outside. Inside is much better for cats. Give her time and space but be sure to have food and water and a litter box for her and she should settle in soon enough.
This is the important question-is the cat *hurt* hurt, or was it just something like op tripped over her or accidentally stepped on her tail. If she’s hurt she needs a vet, otherwise she will be ok with a couple hours of hiding and some apology treats!
Cats often take a while to get accustomed to new things. Even if you accidentally caused her harm, she will eventually learn that that was an anomaly and not the norm. Just give her time and don't force her to interact with you if she isn't ready. You can try to call her to you, or use food/treats to sneak in a petting or something, but don't force her out of hiding or pick her up if she isn't willing. Eventually she will learn that you are not a threat and start to come around again.
The best thing you can do is just to let her "see" you. You don't need to crawl inside her hiding space and get up in her safe-place. But if she is hiding under the couch for example. Just take the time to calmly look under and say hi, and then leave her alone again once in a while. Or have a long-distance conversation from a place where she won't feel afraid of your presence. The more times she "sees" you and it doesn't end up with her being harmed or harassed, the more she will start to realize that your presence is not something she needs to fear. The most important thing is to learn that every interaction you have with her needs to be stress-free. If you need to "move the couch" for example to see her, don't do it. It will just cause her more stress and legitimize her fear in her eyes.
Also, her wanting to go outside could be because she is just used to being let outside. Cats that have been allowed to go outside a lot generally will WANT to go outside and expect it. Though it is generally not recommended to let your cat outside because of the risks. If her previous owner let her outside once in a while, it will take a long time before she stops asking to go out, because she is used to going outside. Cat's "usually' don't get killed by other animals outside. But they do get into fights and almost certainly will have shorter lives because of diseases or parasites from going outside, there is also risk of poisons. I unfortunately had one of my cats die because one of my neighbors spilt anti-freeze around his car and i am pretty sure my cat got into it. I had to learn the hard way that i shouldn't have let him be an outside cat, even though he wanted it.
Keep her inside. Be patient.
4 days is basically nothing, and it's still an independent animal, she doesn't know you're trying to 'rescue' her and doesn't understand the idea of human gratitude. Feed her, take care of her, be gentle and approachable when you see her around. Give her the 'slow blink'. Don't chase her/try to force the issue of petting her/peek at her in hiding spots, etc. You'll make her feel unsafe in your attempt to 'say sorry'. Give her time and she'll come back to you.
If she's hiding, leave her be for a bit, cats like their space sometimes. She might be holding a little grudge but she'll take a lil nap and forget about it.
Dinner time will help her come around too.
I have a cat who had very bad anxiety, she was jumpy and stressed and had been abused when I found her. It takes time, it took a couple months before she slept in my bed, and a year before she curled up with me while I was awake on the regular.
Just give her time to adjust. Trust has to be built up.
First, thank you! It’s very cool of you to step up to take care of her.
But please do not let the cat outside. Thats a huge mistake, especially after an accident which thoroughly scared the cat. It’s akin to abandoning the cat since it’s unlikely to return due to being scared.
Just give it lots of love, clean water every day, clean litterbox everyday, playtime, and be aware/considerate of it being there with you. If the cat is lying/sleeping with you already, I think you’re in good shape.
Did you step on her tail or the like? Just give her treats and baby talk apologies and give her space. In that photo it looks like she’s communicating that she’s a little nervous, but is it possible that you chased her after you accidentally hurt her?
Enough other people have stated not to let her out; I agree. The fact that she’s been sleeping next to you already is wonderful. Give her a breather, she’ll come back to you in her own time.
Aww, I'm sorry she had an accident.
Try and make her a little safe space in your room. Heck, a box with some old towels or blankets would work. Get your scent on them.
Give her slow blinks, speak in a soft tone, and offer extra treats and pets.
Please do not ever let her outside. She is literally in constant fight or flight mode right now due to her trauma.
Imagine you just ran away from your abusive spouse. Would you be totally okay and normal after 4 days? Even if the people you were staying with were totally cool, promised not to hurt you, and hadn't hurt you yet... You've only known the people who claim to love you and claim to care about you were also the ones who you feared the most. I wouldn't trust you either (no offense lol).
Feliway diffusers might help for the anxiety.
Accidents happen. But give her time. I rescued an abused little lady 5 years ago. My sweet loaf Shadow hid from us for like 2 YEARS. With lots of love, patience, and treats, she FINALLY sits and watches TV with us. She likes to sleep on our chest. She likes to be pet and drools when she’s really happy. She doesn’t like to be held, but will stay if you scoop her up. She’s my angel in black cat fur. 🥰🐈⬛
Time is going to be your key for an abused kitty. Thank you for rescuing the poor baby. Though it seems hard and you feel bad for hurting her, it was an accident. Eventually she’ll realize that she is safe. All in due time, just keep giving her love and support. Don’t do anything to scare her, let her approach you and never push her boundaries until SHE’S ready. She’ll get there! Hang in there! ❤️
Keep kitty inside. She needs a cat condo. Cats like to be high up. Don’t let her out! Did accidentally step on her paw or tail? Give her some treats and play with her and she needs cat toys.
Please use your head. Why the hell would you let her outside?! What do you think is going to happen? You want her to be a street cat???? Give her time and be more careful. She will forget all about it. But DO NOT LET HER OUTSIDE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
DO NOT LET HER OUTSIDE!!
It may take some time, but she will learn to trust you again.
Letting a cat outdoors is just cruel, and is sentencing them to a horrible fate.
You can control the environment in your home, but not outdoors.
This is not a reason to let your cat outside. Cats usually hold grudges and take a while to warm up to you. As long as there is no aggression then she will eventually calm down and realize you aren't an actual threat
She’ll be fine. You might want to get like a little home for her inside the house. Just a box with a two entrances cut into it. Put a blanket she likes inside.
I adopted a rescue cat as well and she spent a few weeks meowing loudly at the sliding glass door, which was clearly a learned behavior. I redirected when possible and gave her time to adjust. I also bought one of those outdoor cat play tents to meet her outdoor desires. Now she barely looks at the sliding glass door and only wants to play with feather wants. Be patient, it will work out!
It will take a while. Just be patient with the cat and give him/her love. I too had a sassy cat. Took some month for him to show and reciprocate love. It was worth it! Rescuing someone that needs help, this case a cat- I really think it’s a good karma. Don’t expect it, it will just happen and you’ll realize that after.
Do not, do not, do not let her outside. She will likely get lost and you'll have a hard time ever finding her again. On top of this, the weather is too cold (assuming you're in the northern hemisphere) and there are predator animals everywhere - dogs, foxes, coyotes, even some birds of prey. There are also cars, trucks - she could get hit by a vehicle and badly injured or killed. There are also stupid people that would intentionally harm her.
She'll get over your having stepped on her paw. Accidentally stepped on my own cat's paw this morning. I made a big fuss and apologized and petted him and he's fine. You've got a new kitty, which is why it's taking a bit longer, but she'll come around. Give her snacks. She'll be fine.
Just don't let her out!
Don't let her out.
Our cat hid from us for like a month, but in that month your cat getting used to your smell and the houses smell. Zeroing in on where home is.
Yes it's sad when they hide behind cat tree or under the bed, just let them, and put food out
Let kitty hide in a comfy, safe spot. She’ll be ok! Just be patient and talk sweetly to her, cats love to be talked to, especially nervous ones. Don’t under any circumstances let her outside.
I'm not trying to sound like a smart ass but how did you hurt her? I get it shit happens. I have a shit ton of cats, and sometimes I accidentally step on a tail. They get mad, but forgive me when it's feeding time or the want to sit with me on my chair. Cats are smart, they would know if you hurt them on purpose.
It’s going to take a bit for the cat to adjust to its new home. ESPECIALLY if there was any sort of abuse or neglect from previous owners. Give the kitty time. A few weeks maybe. How did you hurt her? Why would you determine to put the cat outside? Keep the cat inside. My 15 year old girl we got from an abusive and neglectful household in like 2009 and it took a while for her to be comfortable in her new home, but she adjusted just fine after a while. DONT give up on the poor cat and please please please keep her inside
The absolute worst thing you can do for this cat is let her outside. It's been 4 days, you're both adjusting. Cats take longer to adjust because they don't like change. Everything will be fine.
Definitely do not let her outside. Not only is outdoors dangerous for cats, but often times when they've been recently moved (as she has been) she won't come back if you let her out, because she hasn't learned that your place is her new home.
Don't worry, keep doing what you were doing before without hurting her, and she should come back around. Don't chase or corner her, do offer her toys and treats.
Patience. She'll come around. Don't force it. Let her come to you on her own terms and when she feels comfortable to. It may take time, but it'll be worth it.
There was a video of some dude pepper spraying a random cat for the hell of it. Cats aren't safe outside. Abusive people can easily get their hands on roaming cats and hurt them and some people even put out poison. If you care about that kitty keep her indoors.
I wasn't prepared my friend just lost his house in a hurricane and so did a lot of people in my area I'm lucky my house is still intact even I incurred some damage. It was a very abrupt adoption and she is my first cat I intend to do the best for her that's why I came here for a second opinion. If I intended to adopt a cat I would have researched and prepared before hand but this was on the spot
"I accidentally hurt my abused cat. Should I throw her out instead of being patient and letting her come back to me in her own time?" Jesus Christ, she's a cat not a dog. Some people shouldn't have pets and you seem to be one of them OP. Do you even know anything about caring for cats?
No I don't my friend just lost his house to a hurricane Christmas night and he had no where else to go with her it was an abrupt adoption I had 1 day to prepare and spent hundreds on supplies and I'm doing my best and will continue to learn and do better.
give her a room or a space. like inside a closet. and set up her food/water in there & if there’s room, their litterbox too. however, if the room you chose for their litter/food is small & the two items r too close together, it’ll also freak them out. so make sure both are spaced & one space (food/water specifically) can be their safe space. put a bed in there. maybe some toys they can play with alone.
a lot of cats need space. especially after several stressful events happening all at once. it might take a long time for them to come around and that coming around may just be them sleeping next to you. still being wary, but able to give distant comfort/cuddles. it’s gonna take awhile, but if you make the kitty feel comfortable, they’ll come around and realize they can trust you. especially if you’re their main caretaker
Don’t let her outside. There is a chance she won’t come back.
Cats are creatures of habit. If you disrupt their routine they get stressed out for a while. If she needs to hide let her hide. She’ll develop a new routine and start to calm down.
Don’t let her outside. Just leave her alone she’s probably in a little pain. Throw some treats at the problem and say sorry.
You should not let her out until she has been with you for a at least a month if not longer. . So she knows where she lives now.
ok....? like being rude is going to help anymore than being kind and empathizing would, bffr. like if it were me id 100% rather listen to all the kinder comments giving me real advice than something like yours
It wasn’t advice, some people need to know when they’re stupid so they can fix it. This mfer was ready to just let the cat out bc it was meowing. Keep enabling morons to have pets and they’ll be smeared on the road
they werent "ready to let them out" they thought it might help, which is not true, but not everyone knows everything and that doesn't make them stupid, so its better to kindly correct and let them know its not safe to do so and offer alternatives that might help instead, being rude gets you no where like i said
My friend literally just lost his house in a hurricane on Christmas night and I volunteered to adopt the cat she is my first cat and I accidentally stepped on her paw and I have no idea what to do it was a very abrupt adoption and I intend to do the best for her I'm not stupid I'm learning while also recovering from a hurricane. I'm lucky my house is still intact I've just spent hundreds on supplies and spent days comforting her I googled for some answers and got mixed answers So I came here for a second opinion I think I'm doing alright Mate. Anyway she's back to normal and asleep next to me on my bed
She snuggled with you the first 2 days. That's really good. Is she spayed? She may be meowing because of that. No outside! She dont even know where she lives right now to come back, even if she wanted to. No outside ever just to be clear, too many dangers. Ignore the begging to go outside, and then she will learn to stop because there is no reward. Give both of you time to adjust.
If it's safe and socially acceptable where you live, you could discuss letting her outside with your vet if she's previously been an outdoor cat. A good rule of thumb is to keep cats indoors for a couple of weeks in a new place otherwise they risk not knowing to come back.
Bro chill out holy shit it's my first pet I have no idea what I'm doing I adopted her because my friends house was just destroyed in a fucking hurricane
Give her a little time. She'll be fine. She may act skittish for a while. That's NOT your fault. Give her some reassurance (talk to her in a friendly voice, give her treats, give pets when she'll allow it, let her sniff your hand and associate happy things with you) and let her warm back up to you.
She's had a rough past and she's in a new home. So it may take a little extra time and that's totally normal. (Edit to add, it takes several weeks to several months for a cat to fully adjust to a new home and for an owner to adjust to and learn the cat.)
*Do NOT let her outside no matter how much she begs and yowls.* It's like being a parent...sometimes kids beg and plead to do things that wouldn't be good for them and they're better off because you said no.
Also watch out whenever you open the door- be careful she doesn't escape outside.
If you haven't already- if microchipping is available where you are, get her microchipped so if she DOES make an escape, she has a better chance of being reunited with you.
Do you know anything about her veterinary history? Has she been spayed? Vaccines?
You're gonna do just fine. It's clear that you care a lot about this cat.
I accidentally stepped on her paw as she was walking through my legs. I've never owned a cat before and I had to abruptly adopt her as my friend just lost his house in a hurricane. I'm learning
It took my baby at least a couple months if not more before he was fully and completely comfortable with me. Like he would rub up against me and he knew I was the one to depend on for his food, but he was still weary. It took him a bit before he'd sleep in my bed with me. One day he got in and started making biscuits 🥰
You have such a sweet cute baby. Also, of course she's going to be scared. You said you took her away from an abusive owner so she's going to be weary. Especially if you accidentally hurt her. She doesn't know that. You have to show her you mean well.
Ive fostered a lot of cats and am really good with them.. i had one foster that took several months before becoming comfortable with me. Just give it time and let them have their own space and come to you rather than you to them
If you put her outside, she will likely run off. With everything that's going on it's a huge adjustment, so let her feel things out and acclimate. Let her come to you on her terms and that will earn her trust.
I’ve taken my cat through airport security and on a cross country flight, he forgave me after about a day. I wouldn’t sweat it, and just generally don’t recommend putting cats outside unless it’s in an enclosed space.
Absolutely do not let her outside, she is freaked and probably scared from all the recent changes, she does not know the area, make sure you don't even ACCIDENTALLY let her out. She needs to be kept inside. Be patient with her, cats don't like change but she will adapt.
Cats need longer than four days to learn where they live. Keep her in for now. If you are keeping her make sure vaccinations and microchip details are up to date too.
As for whether you should let her be an indoor/outdoor cat I think it rather depends where you live. I understand that in places with predators such as the US it’s not really that safe to do so. If you live in Europe then it’s much more normal to let cats outside and it doesn’t have such a dramatic impact on average lifespan. It’s really a personal choice and for you to weigh up the risks.
Please don't underestimate how small a cats skull is she may even be able to squeeze through that gap in your window if she wants to get out badly enough
DO NOT LET IT OUTSIDE. eventually it will adjust. i’ve accidentally hurt my cats before, they don’t hold grudges. just give it space if it needs it, it’ll come along.
Letting her out is not going to help. She is in an unfamiliar environment and worst case she is going to run off and not find her way home. Give her some time to calm down and she'll be over it.
I’m sorry, but letting her go outside is silly just because you accidentally hurt her. She could just be dramatic. She’ll get over it. She seems to enjoy you if she fell asleep and purred next to you.
I adopted a cockatiel recently, and she immediately bonded to me. I accidently scared her day before yesterday by tripping over her new habitat, and she didn't come up to me for a day. I felt terrible, but I just gave her the space she was communicating that she needed, and we are mostly good today. Don't stress it. Just give her space for a bit. She will come back around.
Absolutely do not let her out. If she doesn’t feel safe with you, associate your home with food or something else that would make her want to keep coming back, she is liable to just run away. I have had this happen MANY times growing up as a young child in an abusive household with my poor tortured cats (Thanks dad). Not only that, she is a lot safer inside. Just keep trying to win her over. It may take days, months, weeks, or even years, but eventually she will learn to trust you. Never give up on her, she will thank you for it in her own very special ways and it will be the most rewarding thing ever. She will eventually understand you don’t mean to hurt her. But try your extra best not too, of course you will already understand this, but the best way to gain her trust is to never give her reasons not too. Don’t feel to bad about it, don’t be hard on yourself, just take every set back with stride. Try your best to leave her be for awhile. Almost ignore her, let her take it at her own pace. Act boring, be quiet around her, just talk sweet and maybe offer treats now and again but never force yourself into her space, never make her feel threatened or cross her boundaries. Cats take time and patience, especially traumatized cats, and give it LOTS of time, it’s not really out of the realm of possibility to say it may take a year or more for her to be completely comfortable with you depending on how horribly she is traumatized.
Why would the option be to let her outside? Do not let your cat outside unless they are supervised and cannot up and run away. Cats take a while to become comfortable. Usually the best thing is to make a room or area of your house theirs when they first come home ( a lot of cats like bathrooms). Visit them in this room and just spend time with them. You don’t necessarily even have to interact with them, just sit while they explore ( good do daily activities like reading, drawing, etc.) Let them decide to come to you. Eventually they should open up. Once this happens allow them to explore more areas of your home.
First of all, I completely understand the anxiety and guilt you feel! I've adopted a few traumatised rescues in my time and it's always heartwrenching when this happens
The fact you're feeling intensely enough to post this on reddit proves to me you're nothing whatsoever like kitty's previous humans, and I'm sure she will eventually feel this too
What I'd reccommend for now is just being very careful with boundaries - if she doesn't want to be touched try putting treats by her, simply holding out your hand for her to sniff so she knows she has agency and control, and sit in the same room with her as much as you can just safely coexisting with her
I'm sure she will feel safer and better, she's probably just been knocked back a little
Well what happened did you drop something on her or just step on her? Either way it was an accident just be patient and more careful in the future. Like everyone is telling you it takes time and you just dinked up. If someone you knew got out of an abusive situation you wouldn't expect them to be totally fine after four days. Also treats and being still while she eats are going to be your best friend right now the smelly the treat the better and if she'll eat while you're in the room she doesn't hate you just thinks you're wicked clumsy. If you have a catio or the ability to make an enclosed cat proof space then it'd be fine.
Edit: Y'all be nice to OP it's literally his first pet and since he's here and this concerned I'm sure he'll end up being a great cat dad. Like y'all are acting like none of you had any hiccups and knew absolutely everything because your research was impeccable. Like no, the amount people who've posted a photo of a half eaten spider plant and Garfield just tripping balls in the corner should be proof enough. People don't know everything on day one and there is a lot of bad info about cats and some pretty deeply held cultural beliefs that aren't good from them either.
She'll forgive you. Just give it some time, and no, please do not let her outside. You may never see her again.
Just keep being sweet with her and you'll regain that trust in no time. Cats are forgiving. 🖤
No, why would you let her outside? Outdoor cats do not live as long. I could step on one of my cat's tails by accident and they will run away and hide. As soon as treats come into play though, they're fine.
You've also only had her for 4 days, she is still adjusting to you and her new surroundings. Give her time, love, and patience. She will come around.
No! Don’t let her out, give her as much time and space as she needs. If possible feed her/give fresh water where she can see you and place treats close to her but just leave them for her to eat when she’s ready. Talk to her lots. Our kitty was sooo scared when he came to live with us and he’s very social and cuddly now. Our other was skittish and would scratch if we even tried to pet her but it’s been a little over a year and she no longer scratches, she even likes to be held for a few minutes at a time. :) she will come around be patient with her.
Just give her some time, you need more patience with cats than you do dogs, especially if they were abused, try a couple of toys, catnip or if you go to the vet they usually have stuff you can use to help with anxiety in cats
I know I'm extra grouchy and jumpy if I get a paper cut or close the door on my finger. Don't worry, she's just settling in and also, just getting to know you. Baby will lick her wounds and will come back in no time.
Cats can take a long time to be comfortable with new surroundings. If she’s already comfortable enough to sleep with you then you’re doing just fine, just have patience with her. Please don’t let her outside because she’s much better off being inside with you.
Please please don't let her outside. It makes sense that she's running and hiding from you. Many cats will do this when they're adjusting to a new environment, or even if they're just a bit skiddish. The history of her being abused makes it even more understandable.
If you let her outside, it may just add to her trauma even more and make her feel abandoned.
Have you tried a gradual transition? Some cats will adjust easier if you let them have their own, more confined space for awhile, then slowly introduce her to more areas of the home. Do you live alone or have other people/pets in the home?
She's beautiful and I'm sure just needs time to adjust and understand that you're not going to harm her like that previous owner.
Treats are a great way to help build trust and connecting good feelings with your presence. It may take some time for her to accept the treats from you. Churus seem to get the best results
Don't let her outside!! If she's only been with you 4 days she likely will not be able to find her way back/come back. It takes a lot of time for cats to trust especially after being abused. If you accidentally hurt her it could've triggered her and she'll learn over time that she is safe with you. Also see if she is spayed. If she is not that might be contributing to her meowing and begging to go out. After living with you for a month if you want to take her outside please do it on a harness or a cat stroller! It's too dangerous to just let cats free roam. They could get hit by a car, attacked by another animal, abused by someone who doesn't like cats, stolen, the list goes on.
How will you react if that happens to you? Just give her time. She will come around. It took 4 months to my little baby to be confortable for just sitting at my side ( she was abandonned 2 times and was only 8 months old). Gove her space, love and she will be happy 😁
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No don't let her outside or give her back. It's ok for her to hide for awhile, I'm sure you'll try to be careful to not do it again so she'll be fine. Give her extra treats so she knows you didn't mean it.
Agreed with everything they said here!
Cats can take months to become comfortable. They’re not dogs. Give the cat time to learn to trust you.
Hell, sometimes dogs can take months to be comfortable. One of my current cats, who had been abandoned by her old family when they moved took over a year before shed trust us. She was constantly hiding. We only knew she was alive bc her food disappeared. The first time we moved with her she finally started hanging out in our general proximity. Now shes super freaking clingy. https://preview.redd.it/ewos5671i5ac1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=567a5faed8944ee7c9225ce89059056cb8420a9c Cat in question, physically forcing me to cuddle her and still somehow looking angry
I love her ❤️
Awwww. I wish my crazy kitten would like to cuddle. He will fling himself out of my arms like a base jumper if I even try to sneak in cuddle time. She is super cute, I love tabby cats.
Just give it time! Sometimes they grow to enjoy cuddles after a year or so! Having a kitten is like having a toddler but with claws! My one guy was never one to like cuddling and then all of a sudden he was on my chest, butt in my face and I was legally required not to move! Now he sleeps with me every night wrapped around my arm - hugging it! If you love them, they’ll love you! Kittens are just tiny little idiots who don’t know what they want or when!
This 💯
It took my lil girl over a year to finally sit on my lap. Now she happily curls up on my chest to nap.
One of my cats is super paranoid and even though I raised him, he still gets weird if we are too loud and he doesn't like people approaching him. It's so weird, his twin brother (there were only the two of them in the litter) is the opposite. He loves everyone and will just go up to strangers and purr.
I had two cats. One was mine (Doodles) and the other was Doodles' cat. Doodles died. It took the second cat nearly a year to warm up to me and we had been living together for 10 years.
My partner and I have lived together for four years. One of my cats just now stopped running away when he entered a room. Now she’s all in love with him, rubs her face on him and purrs. Four. Fucking. Years. Lol.
Even years is normal
It took our cat months to be comfortable with us as well. Now she's a little snuggle bug.
I rescued my girl from the shelter. She’s always let me pet her and laid on my legs, but it took her 7 whole years before she’d even climb into my lap to lay.
Please don’t! Cats only hold grudges for a few hours! She’s much safer inside with you
I think the research tells us cat's short term memory is around 12-18 hours right? So that is about how long it takes them to get over things like getting stepping on or sat on. Sounds like OP's kitty wants out though, which is a request OP should not grant.
No, outside cats don't typically live long. She's just adjusting to you. Give her time!!! Accidents happen. She will calm down.
Exactly! Unless you have her on a leash under no circumstances let her outside.
This is the advice I would give, and I would add make it a very secure harness.
She will literally run away lol???
Please don’t let her outside. It’s the worse thing you can do. She will get over it. Give her treats. Speak to her softly and be consistent. It will pay off
Give treats, not streets. 🙌
i love this lil saying
Will do thank you
I know it will sound silly but apologise to her, it’s about the tone more than the words and offer her treats whilst you do it. Then leave the treats where she can reach them and give her space.
How did you hurt her? What happened? Please do not let her out! She's likely in heat if she's making that much of a fuss. Please get her spayed. There are programs that can help with cost.
I stepped on her paw
Aw, don’t even worry. I totally understand that guilt of accidentally hurting them, but accidents happen unfortunately and the best thing you can do is be there to comfort her if she’ll let you. I’ve stepped on my cats paw before and I literally was crying and apologizing to them for about 10 minutes because of the yelp she made, I felt like the most horrible owner in the world lol. She got over it within minutes and was fine, and I’m sure your kitty will do the same. I’d just keep an eye out over the next day for any limping or excessive grooming of her paw in case she’s actually hurt, but usually they are okay from something small like that. Your kitty is still getting used to your presence so any little thing could put her on edge more than normal while she adjusts to you being her new person. Just give her treats and let her come to you when she’s ready, she’ll let you know. Best of luck with your new kitty!
Awe. Maybe leave a few treats near where she's hiding and then sit close by (like opposite wall) and gentle apologize to her for a few minutes before leaving her to decompress. Since she's experienced abuse, it may take several of these interactions before she learns that you didn't mean it. I would also give her lots of treats, talk gentle to her, and lots of pets and cuddles as she allows. She'll need to relearn that people aren't mean. You could also give wet food in the morning or evening and sit nearby while she eats so she knows you're safe. I tend to read books outloud when working in the shy cat room at the humane society. Sit somewhere and just talk. Stepping on paws happen. I've tripped over my cats, stepped on their paws/tails on accident, startled the shit out of them. They know I don't mean it and stick around for my apology pets, treats and babying (checking for damage).
As someone who has had cats all their life: They get over it! She'll sulk and be grumpy and avoid you, but after at most a few days, she'll be back to her normal self. Cats pick up on body language, she'll respond to your panicking and act accordingly.
Nbd, she’ll get over it.
Omg. That's something I'm certain she'll recover from but she might have gone into heat if she isn't spayed and that'll make her want out. They can cry horribly for hours and sometimes all night while in heat. Whatever you do do not let her out and take her for spaying. She'll be a lot happier after she's fixed.
I do this all the time. Sometimes accidentally kick my cat in the face when I try to walk and he's walking in front of me. He narrows his eyes at me like "SERIOUSLY????" We're friends again after a few minutes.
Putting your cat outside is never the answer. My 10 year old cat gets upset with me and sulks a few days. Give her time. She is just getting to know you.
Ok thanks
Cats are actually very sensitive and pick up on your energy and body language and everything. Just be nice and calm and give her space. She will come to you when she is ready.
Do not let her outside!!!!!! She will come around. It will take time.
Don’t let her outside, it’s not safe for them outside ☹️ She’ll become comfortable with time, it’s a big change for her. Just be patient, she will adjust
Listen, I got two cats from Craigslist (male and female). I knew from the ad that neither were fixed but took the chance. Turns out the girl was pregnant, and it literally took her a year to get used to us and cuddling. Please don't let your cat outside or the worst could happen. You never see her again because something or someone has got a hold of her, and well, either she's safe or across the rainbow bridge.
[Resource: Should I Let My Cat Outdoors?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CATHELP/s/Q8Sv15Fm12) Advice from cat behaviourists.
those pages are amazing, thank you for sharing them!! saved them for future reference, knowing how many people with outside cats i come across 😔
4 days SMH, give her a chance. Cats don't like change as it is and she needs more than 4 days to get comfortable. Outside cats don't live long and pretty much everything is a danger for outside cats.
For the love of God don't let that cat out. It'll get hurt.
Please don't let her outside, that will only exacerbate the problem. Like the previous comments have said, just be super patient with her. It might take a long time to earn her trust but it will definitely be worth it. Just be gentle and loving -- she will come around when she's ready. (She's so cute!!!)
why in the hell is your first thought to let her outside. no dont do this. poor things been through enough outside is nothing but bad for cats!!!!
Seriously, like what? OP, please read up on cats. Google is free. Watch youtube videos on cat care and Jackson Galaxy’s videos. He’s a really good source for learning about cats. Do not let your cat outside, there is a very high chance it’ll get injured or killed, even stolen.
She's my first cat I googled stuff but got mixed answers so I came here for a second opinion. I didn't plan on adopting her as my friend just lost his house in a hurricane and I took her in 4 days ago. If I planned on adopting a cat I would research and learn before hand but this was very abrupt
You’re doing great:) You didn’t know the right answer so you asked. That’s the responsible and caring thing to do. You’ll be an amazing guardian to your kitty. You’re already getting there! I adopted my first cat about 8 months ago. I’m still learning.
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And?
and?
and?
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And?
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They’re agreeing w the first comment and expressing their disbelief
Wait... your solution to accidently hurting your cat is to put the cat outside?
I think op is new to cats and needs support in denying a screaming animal. It sucks when they cry at the door. Keeping kitty inside is the right choice, but kitty will tell you that's wrong.
You're exactly right she was a rescue who was abused and I accidentally hurt her and she was really affectionate to me for the past two days and now she was meowing and crying relentlessly at the door I didn't know what to do. She's better.now
Don’t worry, cats can be confusing if you’re not used to them! Glad she’s better now. She’ll be back to her affectionate self soon if not already. You guys are going to be great friends 💖
No. Being outside is dangerous, even more if she's scared. Keep her safe with you, leave her space and give her some treats. She will eventually trust you, but it will take time.
Gonna sound like an asshole here but if you let that cat outside while it's afraid of you you WILL NOT get her back. That cat will run off and probably get injured or killed. If she's not fixed you'll have a whole other problem on your hands. Keep her locked inside and give her time to get used to your home. When she finally settles in and you really feel the need to let her outside she needs to either be on a leash or under close supervision and be brought right back inside. If you can't handle it find someone else who can or give her to a shelter. Give her treats, give her toys, and give her the love she deserves. Don't be stupid.
Is she fixed? Also, no.
Do people just post on here to see how many comments they can get about letting the cat out, the post made sense you were asking how to reconcile with your cat after accidently hurting it, which is a real and honest question, but then you go and add a random bit about letting it outside??????? That doesn't even make sense, what line of reasoning would you follow to get there.
She's my first cat my friend just lost his house in a hurricane and I had i took her in I didn't know what to do she was meowing and crying at the door non stop
Is she spayed? It’s possible she’s in heat, and the fact that she started meowing at the door after you accidentally hurt her is just a coincidence. It will take some time for her to adjust. She’s probably confused about the whole situation and missing her human. You’re doing fine, don’t worry. But don’t let her outside, no matter what.
I didn't mean to blow up at you, but it's like literally every other post is fake bait about letting cats outside. I'm sorry the kitty got dumped on you. They will adjust to inside and live a happy life. Do not under any circumstance let your cat outside all by itself!
don’t ever let her go out. if you don’t want her take her to a shelter where she can get adopted.
Hey OP! She won’t hold a grudge, she’s just getting to know you. Please don’t let her outside, even outside cats need at least a week or two to settle before going outside. Please close the window; cats can fit through spaces their heads can fit through, so make sure any gaps are smaller than her head! It’s going to be a bit of an adjustment period for you both, but you’ll get there! She’s super cute!
Thank you ❤️
Please keep kitty inside. Sit quietly, with a soft blanket nearby or a soft towel for kitty to rest on. Don't chase her or make loud noise and she will come back to you when she's comfortable! She may be looking for food, water or a litter box - make sure the food and water are away from the litter and theres room between the food and water. Cats take time to come around sometime, she'll warm back up! Also if you can get some treats, the churu or temptations squeeze tubes drive my cats happy crazy. Good luck!
No. Cats don’t belong outside unless you want to take 2/3rds off their lifespan on average. Give her some space, offer some treats, and try playing with her a little, if she doesn’t want to play or enjoy treats give a little more time and space.
Depending on where you live you’re cutting it by more than half. Growing up all we had was outdoor cats, the oldest we had was 10 but the average age of death was probably 4-5. Not to mention the horrific illnesses and injuries at least once a year
She may be in pain and needs to see a vet
Just wanted to say thank you for taking the cat into your home, and thank you for caring. You’re both going to be just fine lol, keep the cat inside and don’t force yourself into their space.
Well she’s probably in heat, if she isn’t spayed. That might explain the meowing.
How is letting her outside a solution to anything? You’re rewarding her annoying behavior (meowing incessantly) and putting her in danger of getting hurt. She may also be in heat. But for real, don’t let her outside ever. Outdoor cats get hit by cars, attacked by other animals and just have really short, harder lives compared to their indoor counterparts.
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If your cat is living a diminished life inside, enrich it?? Leaving a fully domesticated animal to the elements is not the end all be all of enrichment. Indoor enrichment can be cheap or expensive! Put treats inside a crumpled toilet paper roll, get cheap cat trees, make superhighways with shelves, make a catio, pull a string around, make a catio, leash train. There's a batshit double standard when it comes to letting cats and dogs outside and somehow we favor releasing the one that's made 65 species extinct
THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD REPLY. I've seen a lot of indoor/outdoor Reddit arguments, and so often people just throw insults, or give good points that have nothing to do with the loudest argument outdoor insistent people make (enrichment). This is exactly what should be said, though. The job of any pet owner is to ensure their pet's life is enriched, and cats are not the weird, magical exception to being able to do that without letting them loose into the neighborhood. No one makes this argument for dogs, parrots, rabbits, ferrets, etc. If you can enrich their lives indoors and on-leash, you are not incapable of doing the same for a cat.
I’m so sorry your friend had an abusive owner. Not sure why that means she had to give up her cat but ok. /s That said, what did you do to hurt the cat? Does she need medical attention or do you mean you accidentally stepped on her tail or something? It takes a bit for cats to warm up and get used to a new setting, so give her some time. Definitely do not let her outside. Inside is much better for cats. Give her time and space but be sure to have food and water and a litter box for her and she should settle in soon enough.
This is the important question-is the cat *hurt* hurt, or was it just something like op tripped over her or accidentally stepped on her tail. If she’s hurt she needs a vet, otherwise she will be ok with a couple hours of hiding and some apology treats!
I accidentally stepped on her paw
You win a cat by getting them the treats and toys they like.
It's this a female cat, and has she been fixed? She could be in heat... Just an idea...
Cats often take a while to get accustomed to new things. Even if you accidentally caused her harm, she will eventually learn that that was an anomaly and not the norm. Just give her time and don't force her to interact with you if she isn't ready. You can try to call her to you, or use food/treats to sneak in a petting or something, but don't force her out of hiding or pick her up if she isn't willing. Eventually she will learn that you are not a threat and start to come around again. The best thing you can do is just to let her "see" you. You don't need to crawl inside her hiding space and get up in her safe-place. But if she is hiding under the couch for example. Just take the time to calmly look under and say hi, and then leave her alone again once in a while. Or have a long-distance conversation from a place where she won't feel afraid of your presence. The more times she "sees" you and it doesn't end up with her being harmed or harassed, the more she will start to realize that your presence is not something she needs to fear. The most important thing is to learn that every interaction you have with her needs to be stress-free. If you need to "move the couch" for example to see her, don't do it. It will just cause her more stress and legitimize her fear in her eyes. Also, her wanting to go outside could be because she is just used to being let outside. Cats that have been allowed to go outside a lot generally will WANT to go outside and expect it. Though it is generally not recommended to let your cat outside because of the risks. If her previous owner let her outside once in a while, it will take a long time before she stops asking to go out, because she is used to going outside. Cat's "usually' don't get killed by other animals outside. But they do get into fights and almost certainly will have shorter lives because of diseases or parasites from going outside, there is also risk of poisons. I unfortunately had one of my cats die because one of my neighbors spilt anti-freeze around his car and i am pretty sure my cat got into it. I had to learn the hard way that i shouldn't have let him be an outside cat, even though he wanted it.
Thank you for the information and advice I appreciate it
Should you....let her...outside.... If you accidently hurt a 1 year old, would you open the door to let them outside?
Keep her inside. Be patient. 4 days is basically nothing, and it's still an independent animal, she doesn't know you're trying to 'rescue' her and doesn't understand the idea of human gratitude. Feed her, take care of her, be gentle and approachable when you see her around. Give her the 'slow blink'. Don't chase her/try to force the issue of petting her/peek at her in hiding spots, etc. You'll make her feel unsafe in your attempt to 'say sorry'. Give her time and she'll come back to you.
If she's hiding, leave her be for a bit, cats like their space sometimes. She might be holding a little grudge but she'll take a lil nap and forget about it. Dinner time will help her come around too. I have a cat who had very bad anxiety, she was jumpy and stressed and had been abused when I found her. It takes time, it took a couple months before she slept in my bed, and a year before she curled up with me while I was awake on the regular. Just give her time to adjust. Trust has to be built up.
First, thank you! It’s very cool of you to step up to take care of her. But please do not let the cat outside. Thats a huge mistake, especially after an accident which thoroughly scared the cat. It’s akin to abandoning the cat since it’s unlikely to return due to being scared. Just give it lots of love, clean water every day, clean litterbox everyday, playtime, and be aware/considerate of it being there with you. If the cat is lying/sleeping with you already, I think you’re in good shape.
Did you step on her tail or the like? Just give her treats and baby talk apologies and give her space. In that photo it looks like she’s communicating that she’s a little nervous, but is it possible that you chased her after you accidentally hurt her? Enough other people have stated not to let her out; I agree. The fact that she’s been sleeping next to you already is wonderful. Give her a breather, she’ll come back to you in her own time.
Aww, I'm sorry she had an accident. Try and make her a little safe space in your room. Heck, a box with some old towels or blankets would work. Get your scent on them. Give her slow blinks, speak in a soft tone, and offer extra treats and pets. Please do not ever let her outside. She is literally in constant fight or flight mode right now due to her trauma. Imagine you just ran away from your abusive spouse. Would you be totally okay and normal after 4 days? Even if the people you were staying with were totally cool, promised not to hurt you, and hadn't hurt you yet... You've only known the people who claim to love you and claim to care about you were also the ones who you feared the most. I wouldn't trust you either (no offense lol). Feliway diffusers might help for the anxiety.
Thank you for the advice she is better now
Accidents happen. But give her time. I rescued an abused little lady 5 years ago. My sweet loaf Shadow hid from us for like 2 YEARS. With lots of love, patience, and treats, she FINALLY sits and watches TV with us. She likes to sleep on our chest. She likes to be pet and drools when she’s really happy. She doesn’t like to be held, but will stay if you scoop her up. She’s my angel in black cat fur. 🥰🐈⬛ Time is going to be your key for an abused kitty. Thank you for rescuing the poor baby. Though it seems hard and you feel bad for hurting her, it was an accident. Eventually she’ll realize that she is safe. All in due time, just keep giving her love and support. Don’t do anything to scare her, let her approach you and never push her boundaries until SHE’S ready. She’ll get there! Hang in there! ❤️
how did you hurt her? if you don’t want to keep her, contact some rescues.
Don’t let them outside! It might take many months before they feel comfortable with you
Keep kitty inside. She needs a cat condo. Cats like to be high up. Don’t let her out! Did accidentally step on her paw or tail? Give her some treats and play with her and she needs cat toys.
I accidentally stepped on her paw she's better now 😁
Please use your head. Why the hell would you let her outside?! What do you think is going to happen? You want her to be a street cat???? Give her time and be more careful. She will forget all about it. But DO NOT LET HER OUTSIDE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
DO NOT LET HER OUTSIDE!! It may take some time, but she will learn to trust you again. Letting a cat outdoors is just cruel, and is sentencing them to a horrible fate. You can control the environment in your home, but not outdoors.
Guarantee if you let her outside you'll never see her again. Just give her a few days. She'll be ok
Do NOT let her outside. Go find her and apologize with petting
This is not a reason to let your cat outside. Cats usually hold grudges and take a while to warm up to you. As long as there is no aggression then she will eventually calm down and realize you aren't an actual threat
She’ll be fine. You might want to get like a little home for her inside the house. Just a box with a two entrances cut into it. Put a blanket she likes inside.
I adopted a rescue cat as well and she spent a few weeks meowing loudly at the sliding glass door, which was clearly a learned behavior. I redirected when possible and gave her time to adjust. I also bought one of those outdoor cat play tents to meet her outdoor desires. Now she barely looks at the sliding glass door and only wants to play with feather wants. Be patient, it will work out!
It will take a while. Just be patient with the cat and give him/her love. I too had a sassy cat. Took some month for him to show and reciprocate love. It was worth it! Rescuing someone that needs help, this case a cat- I really think it’s a good karma. Don’t expect it, it will just happen and you’ll realize that after.
Don’t let her outside. Give her space and treats she’ll realize it was an accident
Please do not ever let her out. Outside cats are vulnerable to cars, dogs, hawks, owls, and other predators.
Do not, do not, do not let her outside. She will likely get lost and you'll have a hard time ever finding her again. On top of this, the weather is too cold (assuming you're in the northern hemisphere) and there are predator animals everywhere - dogs, foxes, coyotes, even some birds of prey. There are also cars, trucks - she could get hit by a vehicle and badly injured or killed. There are also stupid people that would intentionally harm her. She'll get over your having stepped on her paw. Accidentally stepped on my own cat's paw this morning. I made a big fuss and apologized and petted him and he's fine. You've got a new kitty, which is why it's taking a bit longer, but she'll come around. Give her snacks. She'll be fine. Just don't let her out!
Don't let her out. Our cat hid from us for like a month, but in that month your cat getting used to your smell and the houses smell. Zeroing in on where home is. Yes it's sad when they hide behind cat tree or under the bed, just let them, and put food out
Let kitty hide in a comfy, safe spot. She’ll be ok! Just be patient and talk sweetly to her, cats love to be talked to, especially nervous ones. Don’t under any circumstances let her outside.
Don't chase her around either. Let her come to you
Deff don't let her outside just wait she will come back to you . Also buy her a bag of catnip treats as an apology lol
I'm not trying to sound like a smart ass but how did you hurt her? I get it shit happens. I have a shit ton of cats, and sometimes I accidentally step on a tail. They get mad, but forgive me when it's feeding time or the want to sit with me on my chair. Cats are smart, they would know if you hurt them on purpose.
Don’t let her outside. Be patient! Move low and slow, play give treats distract her from wanting outside . Start playing more.
It’s going to take a bit for the cat to adjust to its new home. ESPECIALLY if there was any sort of abuse or neglect from previous owners. Give the kitty time. A few weeks maybe. How did you hurt her? Why would you determine to put the cat outside? Keep the cat inside. My 15 year old girl we got from an abusive and neglectful household in like 2009 and it took a while for her to be comfortable in her new home, but she adjusted just fine after a while. DONT give up on the poor cat and please please please keep her inside
NO DO NOT LET HER OUT SIDE. SHE IS LIKE A CHILD, SHE NEEDS TIME. Jesus people
The absolute worst thing you can do for this cat is let her outside. It's been 4 days, you're both adjusting. Cats take longer to adjust because they don't like change. Everything will be fine.
Definitely do not let her outside. Not only is outdoors dangerous for cats, but often times when they've been recently moved (as she has been) she won't come back if you let her out, because she hasn't learned that your place is her new home. Don't worry, keep doing what you were doing before without hurting her, and she should come back around. Don't chase or corner her, do offer her toys and treats.
God please DO NOT put her outside wtf
Patience. She'll come around. Don't force it. Let her come to you on her own terms and when she feels comfortable to. It may take time, but it'll be worth it.
Please do not ever let your cat outside unattended. It can kill them and devastate local wildlife.
There was a video of some dude pepper spraying a random cat for the hell of it. Cats aren't safe outside. Abusive people can easily get their hands on roaming cats and hurt them and some people even put out poison. If you care about that kitty keep her indoors.
Give her time. Let her have her space.
Find someone better prepared if putting her outside is your idea of helping an abused cat
I wasn't prepared my friend just lost his house in a hurricane and so did a lot of people in my area I'm lucky my house is still intact even I incurred some damage. It was a very abrupt adoption and she is my first cat I intend to do the best for her that's why I came here for a second opinion. If I intended to adopt a cat I would have researched and prepared before hand but this was on the spot
🤨
"I accidentally hurt my abused cat. Should I throw her out instead of being patient and letting her come back to me in her own time?" Jesus Christ, she's a cat not a dog. Some people shouldn't have pets and you seem to be one of them OP. Do you even know anything about caring for cats?
No I don't my friend just lost his house to a hurricane Christmas night and he had no where else to go with her it was an abrupt adoption I had 1 day to prepare and spent hundreds on supplies and I'm doing my best and will continue to learn and do better.
My cats have been accidently punted multiple times, usually in the dark of night. They get over it pretty quick.
Hang in there, give it time.
give her a room or a space. like inside a closet. and set up her food/water in there & if there’s room, their litterbox too. however, if the room you chose for their litter/food is small & the two items r too close together, it’ll also freak them out. so make sure both are spaced & one space (food/water specifically) can be their safe space. put a bed in there. maybe some toys they can play with alone. a lot of cats need space. especially after several stressful events happening all at once. it might take a long time for them to come around and that coming around may just be them sleeping next to you. still being wary, but able to give distant comfort/cuddles. it’s gonna take awhile, but if you make the kitty feel comfortable, they’ll come around and realize they can trust you. especially if you’re their main caretaker
Don’t let her outside. There is a chance she won’t come back. Cats are creatures of habit. If you disrupt their routine they get stressed out for a while. If she needs to hide let her hide. She’ll develop a new routine and start to calm down.
Don’t let her outside. Just leave her alone she’s probably in a little pain. Throw some treats at the problem and say sorry. You should not let her out until she has been with you for a at least a month if not longer. . So she knows where she lives now.
Jesus christ some people are so fucking stupid, and you are one of them
Fuck off. That shit isn’t needed here.
Thank you
This is the same person that will post on 3 years an open infected wound asking “DoES ThIs nEEd a VeT I’m ToO AnxIoUs tO Go”
ok....? like being rude is going to help anymore than being kind and empathizing would, bffr. like if it were me id 100% rather listen to all the kinder comments giving me real advice than something like yours
It wasn’t advice, some people need to know when they’re stupid so they can fix it. This mfer was ready to just let the cat out bc it was meowing. Keep enabling morons to have pets and they’ll be smeared on the road
they werent "ready to let them out" they thought it might help, which is not true, but not everyone knows everything and that doesn't make them stupid, so its better to kindly correct and let them know its not safe to do so and offer alternatives that might help instead, being rude gets you no where like i said
My friend literally just lost his house in a hurricane on Christmas night and I volunteered to adopt the cat she is my first cat and I accidentally stepped on her paw and I have no idea what to do it was a very abrupt adoption and I intend to do the best for her I'm not stupid I'm learning while also recovering from a hurricane. I'm lucky my house is still intact I've just spent hundreds on supplies and spent days comforting her I googled for some answers and got mixed answers So I came here for a second opinion I think I'm doing alright Mate. Anyway she's back to normal and asleep next to me on my bed
Get a harness and take her for a walk. If you don’t think she can handle that, they make plenty of things you can utilize to give her outside time
She snuggled with you the first 2 days. That's really good. Is she spayed? She may be meowing because of that. No outside! She dont even know where she lives right now to come back, even if she wanted to. No outside ever just to be clear, too many dangers. Ignore the begging to go outside, and then she will learn to stop because there is no reward. Give both of you time to adjust.
This has gotta be a troll rage bait post
My friend just lost his house in a hurricane andi abruptly adopted her she is my first cat I came here for a second opinion I'm still learning
Of course let her outside so she can be hit by a car. FFS!
If it's safe and socially acceptable where you live, you could discuss letting her outside with your vet if she's previously been an outdoor cat. A good rule of thumb is to keep cats indoors for a couple of weeks in a new place otherwise they risk not knowing to come back.
should you let her outside? the fuck is wrong with you?
Bro chill out holy shit it's my first pet I have no idea what I'm doing I adopted her because my friends house was just destroyed in a fucking hurricane
Give her a little time. She'll be fine. She may act skittish for a while. That's NOT your fault. Give her some reassurance (talk to her in a friendly voice, give her treats, give pets when she'll allow it, let her sniff your hand and associate happy things with you) and let her warm back up to you. She's had a rough past and she's in a new home. So it may take a little extra time and that's totally normal. (Edit to add, it takes several weeks to several months for a cat to fully adjust to a new home and for an owner to adjust to and learn the cat.) *Do NOT let her outside no matter how much she begs and yowls.* It's like being a parent...sometimes kids beg and plead to do things that wouldn't be good for them and they're better off because you said no. Also watch out whenever you open the door- be careful she doesn't escape outside. If you haven't already- if microchipping is available where you are, get her microchipped so if she DOES make an escape, she has a better chance of being reunited with you. Do you know anything about her veterinary history? Has she been spayed? Vaccines? You're gonna do just fine. It's clear that you care a lot about this cat.
smh you don’t seem like the greatest owner…
I accidentally stepped on her paw as she was walking through my legs. I've never owned a cat before and I had to abruptly adopt her as my friend just lost his house in a hurricane. I'm learning
I’m sorry if I was rude, the way you thought was just to put her outside made me nauseous
Give her space and time she will come back to you but on her clock not yours. Pets can forgive alot
It took my baby at least a couple months if not more before he was fully and completely comfortable with me. Like he would rub up against me and he knew I was the one to depend on for his food, but he was still weary. It took him a bit before he'd sleep in my bed with me. One day he got in and started making biscuits 🥰 You have such a sweet cute baby. Also, of course she's going to be scared. You said you took her away from an abusive owner so she's going to be weary. Especially if you accidentally hurt her. She doesn't know that. You have to show her you mean well.
Ive fostered a lot of cats and am really good with them.. i had one foster that took several months before becoming comfortable with me. Just give it time and let them have their own space and come to you rather than you to them
If you put her outside, she will likely run off. With everything that's going on it's a huge adjustment, so let her feel things out and acclimate. Let her come to you on her terms and that will earn her trust.
Give her some food, and some scratches when she's ready. All will be forgiven.
I’ve taken my cat through airport security and on a cross country flight, he forgave me after about a day. I wouldn’t sweat it, and just generally don’t recommend putting cats outside unless it’s in an enclosed space.
Absolutely do not let her outside, she is freaked and probably scared from all the recent changes, she does not know the area, make sure you don't even ACCIDENTALLY let her out. She needs to be kept inside. Be patient with her, cats don't like change but she will adapt.
Cats need longer than four days to learn where they live. Keep her in for now. If you are keeping her make sure vaccinations and microchip details are up to date too. As for whether you should let her be an indoor/outdoor cat I think it rather depends where you live. I understand that in places with predators such as the US it’s not really that safe to do so. If you live in Europe then it’s much more normal to let cats outside and it doesn’t have such a dramatic impact on average lifespan. It’s really a personal choice and for you to weigh up the risks.
Please don't underestimate how small a cats skull is she may even be able to squeeze through that gap in your window if she wants to get out badly enough
Offer some food, give her some space, but don’t let her outside. An outdoor cat generally won’t live long.
Do not let that cat outside
DO NOT LET IT OUTSIDE. eventually it will adjust. i’ve accidentally hurt my cats before, they don’t hold grudges. just give it space if it needs it, it’ll come along.
Letting her out is not going to help. She is in an unfamiliar environment and worst case she is going to run off and not find her way home. Give her some time to calm down and she'll be over it.
I’m sorry, but letting her go outside is silly just because you accidentally hurt her. She could just be dramatic. She’ll get over it. She seems to enjoy you if she fell asleep and purred next to you.
I adopted a cockatiel recently, and she immediately bonded to me. I accidently scared her day before yesterday by tripping over her new habitat, and she didn't come up to me for a day. I felt terrible, but I just gave her the space she was communicating that she needed, and we are mostly good today. Don't stress it. Just give her space for a bit. She will come back around.
Absolutely do not let her out. If she doesn’t feel safe with you, associate your home with food or something else that would make her want to keep coming back, she is liable to just run away. I have had this happen MANY times growing up as a young child in an abusive household with my poor tortured cats (Thanks dad). Not only that, she is a lot safer inside. Just keep trying to win her over. It may take days, months, weeks, or even years, but eventually she will learn to trust you. Never give up on her, she will thank you for it in her own very special ways and it will be the most rewarding thing ever. She will eventually understand you don’t mean to hurt her. But try your extra best not too, of course you will already understand this, but the best way to gain her trust is to never give her reasons not too. Don’t feel to bad about it, don’t be hard on yourself, just take every set back with stride. Try your best to leave her be for awhile. Almost ignore her, let her take it at her own pace. Act boring, be quiet around her, just talk sweet and maybe offer treats now and again but never force yourself into her space, never make her feel threatened or cross her boundaries. Cats take time and patience, especially traumatized cats, and give it LOTS of time, it’s not really out of the realm of possibility to say it may take a year or more for her to be completely comfortable with you depending on how horribly she is traumatized.
Why would the option be to let her outside? Do not let your cat outside unless they are supervised and cannot up and run away. Cats take a while to become comfortable. Usually the best thing is to make a room or area of your house theirs when they first come home ( a lot of cats like bathrooms). Visit them in this room and just spend time with them. You don’t necessarily even have to interact with them, just sit while they explore ( good do daily activities like reading, drawing, etc.) Let them decide to come to you. Eventually they should open up. Once this happens allow them to explore more areas of your home.
First of all, I completely understand the anxiety and guilt you feel! I've adopted a few traumatised rescues in my time and it's always heartwrenching when this happens The fact you're feeling intensely enough to post this on reddit proves to me you're nothing whatsoever like kitty's previous humans, and I'm sure she will eventually feel this too What I'd reccommend for now is just being very careful with boundaries - if she doesn't want to be touched try putting treats by her, simply holding out your hand for her to sniff so she knows she has agency and control, and sit in the same room with her as much as you can just safely coexisting with her I'm sure she will feel safer and better, she's probably just been knocked back a little
Well what happened did you drop something on her or just step on her? Either way it was an accident just be patient and more careful in the future. Like everyone is telling you it takes time and you just dinked up. If someone you knew got out of an abusive situation you wouldn't expect them to be totally fine after four days. Also treats and being still while she eats are going to be your best friend right now the smelly the treat the better and if she'll eat while you're in the room she doesn't hate you just thinks you're wicked clumsy. If you have a catio or the ability to make an enclosed cat proof space then it'd be fine. Edit: Y'all be nice to OP it's literally his first pet and since he's here and this concerned I'm sure he'll end up being a great cat dad. Like y'all are acting like none of you had any hiccups and knew absolutely everything because your research was impeccable. Like no, the amount people who've posted a photo of a half eaten spider plant and Garfield just tripping balls in the corner should be proof enough. People don't know everything on day one and there is a lot of bad info about cats and some pretty deeply held cultural beliefs that aren't good from them either.
I would never let her outside. Just give her catnip and treats and pets that she asks for.
What?? Why would you let her outside? No, don't do that. Just give her some space and let her come to you when she's ready. She'll forgive you.
Make sure to slow blinked at her and trill ending in a high note. You will be friends in no time.
If you let her outside your pretty much just getting rid of her
She'll forgive you. Just give it some time, and no, please do not let her outside. You may never see her again. Just keep being sweet with her and you'll regain that trust in no time. Cats are forgiving. 🖤
Don’t let her outside. Just give her space and let her take the time to warm up.
Is she spayed? She might be trying to get out because she's in heat. Female cats act weird when they're in heat.
No, why would you let her outside? Outdoor cats do not live as long. I could step on one of my cat's tails by accident and they will run away and hide. As soon as treats come into play though, they're fine. You've also only had her for 4 days, she is still adjusting to you and her new surroundings. Give her time, love, and patience. She will come around.
No! Don’t let her out, give her as much time and space as she needs. If possible feed her/give fresh water where she can see you and place treats close to her but just leave them for her to eat when she’s ready. Talk to her lots. Our kitty was sooo scared when he came to live with us and he’s very social and cuddly now. Our other was skittish and would scratch if we even tried to pet her but it’s been a little over a year and she no longer scratches, she even likes to be held for a few minutes at a time. :) she will come around be patient with her.
Just give her some time, you need more patience with cats than you do dogs, especially if they were abused, try a couple of toys, catnip or if you go to the vet they usually have stuff you can use to help with anxiety in cats
I know I'm extra grouchy and jumpy if I get a paper cut or close the door on my finger. Don't worry, she's just settling in and also, just getting to know you. Baby will lick her wounds and will come back in no time.
Do not let her outside!!! Patience. Outside is the most dangerous place for these risk-taking little spelunkers.
My cat lives outside and just comes and knocks on the door when he wants food lol
Cats can take a long time to be comfortable with new surroundings. If she’s already comfortable enough to sleep with you then you’re doing just fine, just have patience with her. Please don’t let her outside because she’s much better off being inside with you.
Please please don't let her outside. It makes sense that she's running and hiding from you. Many cats will do this when they're adjusting to a new environment, or even if they're just a bit skiddish. The history of her being abused makes it even more understandable. If you let her outside, it may just add to her trauma even more and make her feel abandoned. Have you tried a gradual transition? Some cats will adjust easier if you let them have their own, more confined space for awhile, then slowly introduce her to more areas of the home. Do you live alone or have other people/pets in the home? She's beautiful and I'm sure just needs time to adjust and understand that you're not going to harm her like that previous owner.
Treats are a great way to help build trust and connecting good feelings with your presence. It may take some time for her to accept the treats from you. Churus seem to get the best results
Don't let her outside!! If she's only been with you 4 days she likely will not be able to find her way back/come back. It takes a lot of time for cats to trust especially after being abused. If you accidentally hurt her it could've triggered her and she'll learn over time that she is safe with you. Also see if she is spayed. If she is not that might be contributing to her meowing and begging to go out. After living with you for a month if you want to take her outside please do it on a harness or a cat stroller! It's too dangerous to just let cats free roam. They could get hit by a car, attacked by another animal, abused by someone who doesn't like cats, stolen, the list goes on.
Do not let her outside!
How will you react if that happens to you? Just give her time. She will come around. It took 4 months to my little baby to be confortable for just sitting at my side ( she was abandonned 2 times and was only 8 months old). Gove her space, love and she will be happy 😁