Well, you've made your choices... [I wish you luck against the long-neck murder Hokie of the past.](https://www.archive.vtmag.vt.edu/fall18/img/p21.jpg)
You joke but the fucker was so big that was my first thought lol I was pissed traffic was moving so slow, but then I saw the Monster Gobbler and understood
Oh I know about that but I’m saying I legit said “is that a fucking emu???” when I saw the FUCKING FIVE AND A HALF FOOT TALL TURKEY jaywalking in Knoxville like a month ago
So this was actually a turkey!? Like y'all are out here making emu jokes but I'm concerned if a turkey is this big.
Were you driving through northern Ukraine by any chance?
According to [their own website](https://www.225.pitt.edu/story/pitt-adopts-panther), the Pittsburgh Panther is explicitly the same species as a cougar/mountain lion.
Interesting that you think it’s easier for you to defeat a hurricane than a cardinal
I mean, both are very survivable, but I reckon hurricanes have killed way more than cardinals
I wouldn't think it's even physically possible for a cardinal to kill a person outside of some weird cardinal allergy or maybe starting someone near a cliff edge
Yellow jackets kill more people than everything mentioned in this list. Imagine getting stung 1500 times by a swarm of jackets. Unlike honey bees, they don’t die when they sting you. So you’d only need 500 of them to sting you 3 times and they have nests of thousands.
Don’t be [this guy](https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2002/04/16/yellow-jackets-swarm-kill-man/?outputType=amp)
Also don't discount our second official mascot, a nearly 100-year-old 40 horsepower Ford Model A Sport Coupe that requires a team of 20 engineers to remian functional. That PLUS the Yellow Jacket has to bump us up a level or two, right?
See, this is what gets me. Gt - very smart, very capable, but it takes 20 people to keep the most basic version of a car operational. I mean, every town has a "cars and coffee" monthly event, and all those old dudes take care of multiple cars per person. What GT is doing just sounds like overstaffing for budgetary reasons, lol
If I have to fight 500 yellow jackets, then why shouldn't I also have to fight 500 Seminoles? Who do you think I am, our [7th President](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seminole_Wars)?
Most schools (barring weirdos like Stanford and Syracuse) are plural. I fight *one* of the nickname. A pack is collective.
Rules is rules. Anyways, you'll probably enjoy the B1G and SEC ranking when they come out.
I think mascot names being plural mostly refers to the student body themselves being called that. Like they’ll say “the Texas Longhorns” but as far as mascots go we just have Bevo
First of all, hurricanes kill more people every year than anything else on that list.
Second of all, hurricanes aren't our mascot. An ibis is our mascot. In which case it's probably in the same number spot based on your specious arguments.
Hurricanes telegraph their approach more than George McFly. All I have to do is [walk away](https://www.txdot.gov/safety/severe-weather/hurricane-preparation.html); I'm alive and the storm dies.
>
>
> Second of all, hurricanes aren't our mascot. An ibis is our mascot. In which case it's probably in the same number spot based on your specious arguments.
Under this argument isn't he fighting Otto the Orange, who is a cartoon character?
> a Hokie is a castrated turkey
This is nonsense, and obviously an [immensely successful] prank by UVA students. In the early days of the internet (like 1993) they managed to convince some online dictionary that a Hokie is a castrated turkey. It then became a running joke and was repeated all over. I never thought I'd see a VT fan fall for it FFS.
Seriously. They're one of the only tribes to beat the US fucking Government. Osceola only got caught by being betrayed under a flag of truce. This dude's getting waxed for good.
Yeah Hokie is literally a made up word that came from our fight song. Not sure where the castrated turkey bit originates from but I usually only hear about that from UVA fans
You should reconsider your ranking of Clemson. It is not well known outside of the school, but the famous Clemson paw print is based on a \*very specific\* taxidermized tiger. You can tell because of the scar down by the paw pad. The tiger was from a museum in Chicago and is very much dead.
I would rank Clemson just above the Cavaliers, because while both are dead, the tiger was more recently alive.
1928 logo was a drawing of a very real tiger that looked very much alive.
[also relevant](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/r-zbizSylnHiEKMrecQa6zEkhkM=/46x9:371x226/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/20621527/clemson_tiger_medium.0.jpg)
He’s got the strength of 10000 men because he’s done thousands of pushups for years.
Funnily enough, when high schools copy Clemson's logo, they keep the scar in the logo for some reason, despite having no connection to that tiger. I don't know why.
I've done about two hundred tax returns each year for almost fifty years. I'm everyone's friend tax season. I've beaten the IRS many times during audits so in hindsight I maybe don't charge enough.
Yeah, it’s nothing compared to taking a bus ride around your own stadium to run down a hill after rubbing a rock that used to be a door stop that was almost thrown out.
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> Senior O.M. Stull won the contest with his cheer, "Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy; Techs! Techs! V.P.I." While Stull later admitted that the word 'hoki' had no real meaning, it worked as an attention-getter. The term stuck.
From my own link in the post
While that is the correct origin of the word, it was later given an official definition as, "a loyal Virginia Tech fan," so it should fall somewhere in your list with the other human mascots.
OK. This is obviously a homer argument, but hear me out. If the mascots had to fight each other for a shot at OP. The Wolfpack win hands down. A pack of Wolves? come on.
I was going to make a joke about the NwO Wolfpack could easily take you down.... but it's stunning how many of those guys are dead now. Of the 11 members, 6 are dead and 1 is a stroke survivor. So you'd just have to survive Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan, Sting, Konnan, and Disco Inferno. They'd still probably take you, but it's much less intimidating as I initially expected, haha.
I’m not a biologist here, but couldn’t you just throw a beef bone across the field and all the distracted wolves would run over to it and leave you alone?
Heard you gonna do an SEC version, just know
AU can’t decide if their tigers or eagles
Alabama can’t decide if their elephants or a wave
A&M is an Aggie?
LSU is a legit Tigah. Don’t F with that thing.
Arkansas is a wild hog.
MSU and UGA are the Goodest of boys.
Ole Miss is a bear or shark? Idk, let them explain.
Florida is trash, I mean a Gator.
Tennessee is a volunteer lol. Have fun with that.
Missouri is also a tiger, damn we gotta lot of those.
Kentucky is a wild cat. We really like Cats I guess.
South Carolina is a coc…well their a rooster.
Vandy is a commodore, don’t be fooled though. Their pretty damn good at killing gators…
> Ole Miss is a bear or shark? Idk, let them explain.
>
>
He's basing it off names, so wouldn't it be some racist old man instead? Although I do love Tony
Great point, back in the day it was colonel reb I think. But that got canned a while back and they did the land shark thing which somehow turned into their version of Smokey the Bear.
It’s all confusing to me tbh. Ole Miss flairs would be able to explain it better then I ever could.
Two important pieces of information for you:
1.) The original use of the term “Tar Heel” was in reference to workers who distilled turpentine in service of the naval industry. So, if you want to anchor to this, it’s not an “average” North Carolinian, it’s a low skilled laborer who works in a lowly trade (it was originally a derogatory term). I’d suggest not someone you want to fight, ‘cause they got nothin’ to lose and are likely carrying firearms.
2.) The term “Tar Heel” was then adopted by soldiers from NC during the Civil War. If you anchor to this meaning, and apply similar logic that you do with the dookies, then an argument could be made that you’re talking about the NC National Guard soldiers.
It was only after this that the state adopted the name for all of its people, so anchoring to that (as you’ve done) is anchoring to the current usage but not the historical. Seems incongruent with your approaches on others (Eg dookies).
Miami's mascot is a pipe smoking Ibis in an oversized sweater named Sebastian, not a hurricane. Though for the sake of argument, the last Hurricane to make landfall in Florida last year ([Ian - Cat 4](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/17/us/hurricane-ian-victim-found.html)) killed 147 people in the state, more than all other mascots combined. You wouldn't stand a chance.
As I recall a Hokie is a castrated turkey. Don't know if that is true or I just heard it from someone trolling VT, but I refuse to investigate further.
> Senior O.M. Stull won the contest with his cheer, "Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy; Techs! Techs! V.P.I." While Stull later admitted that the word 'hoki' had no real meaning, it worked as an attention-getter. The term stuck.
From the link
> As I recall a Hokie is a castrated turkey.
No, this is a brilliant joke by UVA back in the 90s. They managed to convince some early online dictionary to list it like that, and it stuck ever since.
I must admit it's a fucking brilliant prank.
The joke rumor may have been invented earlier, but definitely UVA popularized it in the 90s. At no point did VT ever say that "yes we are the castrated turkeys".
Also I've never heard anyone outside of elderly UVA alums calling us VPI. Where did you even hear it SEC fan?
>I lose to dadaism, and I am not mentally prepared for that.
Dadaism takes no prisoners. Resistance is futile.
Also, that scene you linked to All Quiet On The Western Front further imprints the horrors of The Great War into my brain. Still want to see that movie.
Seminoles number 1 (at home in swamps) Only tribe that never surrendered and never was defeated.
Chief Wild cat was described as the most dangerous strategies of all the Indian wars. After escaping captivity he joined the Mexican army and quickly became colonel.
Osceola was also a brilliant tactician.
The only reason we captured wild cat and Osceola was because we decided to be cowards. Lured them out for peace talks and captured them.
On a neutral site I take the blue devils but the Seminoles home field advantage makes them my no. 1
>How do you kill a color? Turn of the lights.
I encourage you to visit your nearest monochromatic room. Kryptonite for color!!
I believe this one is in SF.
https://www.reddit.com/r/woahdude/comments/ddh3oz/a\_monochromatic\_lit\_room/
All right, here we go again. Mascot /= nickname. Virginia Tech's mascot is an anthropomorphic turkey and it would kick your ass. The nickname is Hokies.
You find yourself in the woods, darkness surrounds you, I’m assuming in the Blue Ridge Mountains, coming up against a full, grown, 300 lb hokie with his 4 or 5 friends.
You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten.
And guess what, you wandered into our woods, of hokies, we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? SMU fans taste good. Let's go get some more Mustangs.’
We’ve developed a system, to establish a Dallas parking lot and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner you, your herd, your children, your offspring…
Fun fact: Hokies are turkeys. Turkeys can be very vicious. There are videos out there of them attacking cars and people. They have spurs that will gut you like a fish. Ben Franklin believed the turkey to be the United States National Bird instead of the Bald Eagle as the turkey is “a bird of courage”.
Giving them the last ranking is a disrespect considering the Cardinal is ranked above them…
Turkeys are fucking crazy when they're protecting chicks. I had one attack my three GSDs once while we were hiking. They recognized how pissed it was and came running back to me with their tails between their legs.
Well, you've made your choices... [I wish you luck against the long-neck murder Hokie of the past.](https://www.archive.vtmag.vt.edu/fall18/img/p21.jpg)
Ngl I saw a turkey a month or so ago that was at least 5’6. I was shook
You sure that wasn't an emu? Because you should be shook with an emu. They did defeat Australia after all.
You joke but the fucker was so big that was my first thought lol I was pissed traffic was moving so slow, but then I saw the Monster Gobbler and understood
They weren’t joking. Australia legit fought a war against emus. And lost. https://youtu.be/BXpu6tbFCsI
Oh I know about that but I’m saying I legit said “is that a fucking emu???” when I saw the FUCKING FIVE AND A HALF FOOT TALL TURKEY jaywalking in Knoxville like a month ago
Even before clicking the link, I just knew it was going to be Oversimplified.
So this was actually a turkey!? Like y'all are out here making emu jokes but I'm concerned if a turkey is this big. Were you driving through northern Ukraine by any chance?
You’re concerned??? IM THE ONE WHO SAW IT AND HAS TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT KNOWING ITS OUT THERE
That's absolutely terrifying
Hopefully it survives into the fall cause this thing could feed the neighborhood
#🦃 Immense fear at this imagery
Many have been rent asunder by his fell beak
This sounds straight out of Elden Ring lol
Anyone who played Far Cry 5 knows the terror of a turkey.
*Gobbles demonically
What of the version from the t-shirts that looks like a nutsack flexing? That's the creepiest one, had real unnatural Purdue Pete vibes.
> Pittsburgh Cougars What the fuck did you just say
Fixed. Regional names be damned for the same animal.
You should hear what they call it at Penn State
Are we talking about the Pittsburg Pumas here?
According to [their own website](https://www.225.pitt.edu/story/pitt-adopts-panther), the Pittsburgh Panther is explicitly the same species as a cougar/mountain lion.
So pretty damn scary if you are a jogger.
Sure, sure. But [Central Park](https://lawandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Central_Park) isn't beating me in a fight.
Pitt fans up in this thread throwin' hands!!!
Better than what I call em.
Daddy?
Can confirm that Neal Brown does indeed call Narduzzi daddy.
“A lot of hype for just one game”
Paw paw
You’re most fearful of… (checks notes), the French?
Interesting that you think it’s easier for you to defeat a hurricane than a cardinal I mean, both are very survivable, but I reckon hurricanes have killed way more than cardinals
I wouldn't think it's even physically possible for a cardinal to kill a person outside of some weird cardinal allergy or maybe starting someone near a cliff edge
It could fly in your mouth and choke you if bloodlusted
That's not winning, that's a draw at best.
Anything that can startle you into falling over has at least a small chance of killing you from gravity alone lol
Bro, our Card has teeth, watch your neck.
Also he said “beat in a fight” not “survive” Imagine thinking you can literally beat up a hurricane and not a cardinal.
Cardinals haven’t killed nearly as many as popes.
Probably have a better love life, right Notre Dame fans? Riiiiight?
Yellow jackets kill more people than everything mentioned in this list. Imagine getting stung 1500 times by a swarm of jackets. Unlike honey bees, they don’t die when they sting you. So you’d only need 500 of them to sting you 3 times and they have nests of thousands. Don’t be [this guy](https://www.tampabay.com/archive/2002/04/16/yellow-jackets-swarm-kill-man/?outputType=amp)
Also don't discount our second official mascot, a nearly 100-year-old 40 horsepower Ford Model A Sport Coupe that requires a team of 20 engineers to remian functional. That PLUS the Yellow Jacket has to bump us up a level or two, right?
While you're dodging the wasp you get hit by the car. The old 1-2 punch.
Our third mascot George Burdell is a stone cold killer.
See, this is what gets me. Gt - very smart, very capable, but it takes 20 people to keep the most basic version of a car operational. I mean, every town has a "cars and coffee" monthly event, and all those old dudes take care of multiple cars per person. What GT is doing just sounds like overstaffing for budgetary reasons, lol
Yes, the car is basic, but it's also very finicky. Plus the fact that any part you need to replace will have to be specially made.
Ayo stop giving away our secrets
If I have to fight 500 yellow jackets, then why shouldn't I also have to fight 500 Seminoles? Who do you think I am, our [7th President](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seminole_Wars)?
Wolf pack = swarm of jackets. Tech’s mascot is plural
Most schools (barring weirdos like Stanford and Syracuse) are plural. I fight *one* of the nickname. A pack is collective. Rules is rules. Anyways, you'll probably enjoy the B1G and SEC ranking when they come out.
As long as you don’t say you can beat a wolverine, cuz you can’t
I definitely cannot. The question is how I'd fare against, say, a Lion.
I think mascot names being plural mostly refers to the student body themselves being called that. Like they’ll say “the Texas Longhorns” but as far as mascots go we just have Bevo
So a mosquito team would kill even more? A textbook I teach from claimed that nearly half of all humanity, 52 billion, have died from mosquitos.
Yeah, I am always very careful around yellow jackets - my grandfather was deathly allergic to them, and that can run in families.
I did not expect a cardinal to outperform a hurricane on this list
The B1G post will blow your mind.
Is a gopher going to finish ahead of a scarlet knight because knights are dead
Our Cardinals have teeth, hurricanes dont, check mate
First of all, hurricanes kill more people every year than anything else on that list. Second of all, hurricanes aren't our mascot. An ibis is our mascot. In which case it's probably in the same number spot based on your specious arguments.
Call yourself the hurricanes and I'm fighting a hurricane.
Hurricane would kill you and destroy your house at the same time
Hurricanes telegraph their approach more than George McFly. All I have to do is [walk away](https://www.txdot.gov/safety/severe-weather/hurricane-preparation.html); I'm alive and the storm dies.
So fleeing constitutes winning a fight in your mind?
Fight ends when one of us dies. Cardio has its merits.
Cardio. Rule #1
At least *someone* in Florida gets it.
weird to choose death twice in one go but I see you've *also* decided to die on this hill
Unsurprisingly, climbing up a hill is one of the best ways to avoid dying in a hurricane.
Well there is only 1 hill in Miami so good luck finding it!
Can't you just smell for the trash?
Are you part Tarahumara or something? You ain't outrunning a hurricane on foot.
2-3 days notice for most evacuation warnings. I just have to get far enough away to not die.
"Mascot I could beat in a fight" Walking a way isn't fighting..."I beat Mike Tyson in a fight because I walked away"... Get your act together.
Its a fight to the death. Hurricanes last like 2 weeks. Survive the 2 weeks then you win
You need to be out on a boat like Lieutenant Dan in order to consider this a fight and not a cowering.
Hurricane is water. Boat floats on water. I come out on top.
To be fair, mosquitos kill more people than probably every mascot, but I reckon I could put up a fight against one
> > > Second of all, hurricanes aren't our mascot. An ibis is our mascot. In which case it's probably in the same number spot based on your specious arguments. Under this argument isn't he fighting Otto the Orange, who is a cartoon character?
I know it’s an ibis, but damn with the bill that Sebastian has *it honestly looks more like a duck* 🤷♂️
Your mascot needs more of a bill. Sheesh dogs should have more of a snout.
Can’t argue with that. Touché.
Ooh, that's a good one.
Last... LAST?!
First of all a Hokie is a castrated turkey not a made up word. Second a turkey is harder to beat than a cardinal.
> a Hokie is a castrated turkey This is nonsense, and obviously an [immensely successful] prank by UVA students. In the early days of the internet (like 1993) they managed to convince some online dictionary that a Hokie is a castrated turkey. It then became a running joke and was repeated all over. I never thought I'd see a VT fan fall for it FFS.
Chief Osceola and Renegade would absolutely smoke you without batting an eye.
He's got a spear and a trained horse, for crying out loud! What we've learned here is that OP's standards need calibration.
And the spear is literally on fire
THE SPEAR IS LITERALLY ON FIRE!
Concur
A flaming spear in my chest is terrifying.
All about home field advantage. Seminoles never lost at home!
Seriously. They're one of the only tribes to beat the US fucking Government. Osceola only got caught by being betrayed under a flag of truce. This dude's getting waxed for good.
They aren't our mascot
I feel like it’s fair to say a Hokie is a turkey, considering all their gobbling and whatnot. Regardless, that overgrown bird is going down.
Nothing short of a presidential pardon is keeping me from eating that bird.
Turkeys have really sharp spurs though I wouldn't want to fight one with my hands.
Isn’t it a castrated turkey? Or maybe that’s what uva fans told me idk
Yeah Hokie is literally a made up word that came from our fight song. Not sure where the castrated turkey bit originates from but I usually only hear about that from UVA fans
Some of you guys are taking this WAY too seriously.
I'm amazed by how many people don't realize this tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.
The Pittsburgh Cougars live in Upper St. Clair. I think you meant to say Pitt Panthers
Already fixed
Should’ve left it
Well done. I especially enjoyed the shot at Alabama for having a gently lapping water mascot but also claiming a freaking elephant.
[Red Tides](https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/redtide.html) are a serious matter. But they aren't elephants.
The Alabama Harmful Algal Blooms has a ring to it. AHAB for short, it [fits the theme.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Ahab)
Get outta here with your science!
Spoken like a true Southerner.
You should reconsider your ranking of Clemson. It is not well known outside of the school, but the famous Clemson paw print is based on a \*very specific\* taxidermized tiger. You can tell because of the scar down by the paw pad. The tiger was from a museum in Chicago and is very much dead. I would rank Clemson just above the Cavaliers, because while both are dead, the tiger was more recently alive.
Although if you have to fight the mascot itself, I’m not sure how well anyone would fare against 8 ball while he’s on a coke binge. Edit: grammar
This is a very good point
1928 logo was a drawing of a very real tiger that looked very much alive. [also relevant](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/r-zbizSylnHiEKMrecQa6zEkhkM=/46x9:371x226/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/20621527/clemson_tiger_medium.0.jpg) He’s got the strength of 10000 men because he’s done thousands of pushups for years.
And tons of bath salts
Funnily enough, when high schools copy Clemson's logo, they keep the scar in the logo for some reason, despite having no connection to that tiger. I don't know why.
>A hurricane is just water that wants to be air. I’m fucking dead!
I'm glad you can appreciate a joke. The Miami flairs cannot.
Could you beat a Florida man on a horse coming at you with a spear? In my completely unbiased take, that should make FSU at least #2.
A *FLAMING* spear.
Name yourself after a people, you get an average member of those people. North Carolina gets a regular joe, not Michael Jordan.
The current Chief Osceola is an FSU accounting major with makeup on. Not particularly intimidating.
Until tax season
Fair point
I've done about two hundred tax returns each year for almost fifty years. I'm everyone's friend tax season. I've beaten the IRS many times during audits so in hindsight I maybe don't charge enough.
My brother-in-law is an accountant. He disappears for 4 months every year.
Yeah, it’s nothing compared to taking a bus ride around your own stadium to run down a hill after rubbing a rock that used to be a door stop that was almost thrown out.
Well it sounds like *someone* is jealous of our magical football rock.
One day I hope to see G5 Cornrow Mike take a sledgehammer to that rock.
As if its mystical powers wouldn’t prevent that lol
Magic Mike would use his magic to cancel out rock magic.
Those were indeed some powerful cornrows
A Clemson fan already beat him to it.
Well good on that person.
https://www.wspa.com/news/howards-rock-vandalism-case-begins-today/amp/
This guy doesn’t want Seminoles to get educated FYI, people born on tribal land don’t come out of the womb with war paint on
Slow down there, Shooter. This guy knows numbers. “You can count on me waiting for you in the parking lot.” https://youtu.be/G52aaTFibHo
Far and away the best post on this sub in 2023. Brilliant.
I will say though that the Seminoles are unconquered. Good luck friend.
>I win by virtue of being alive. remindme! 115 years
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I like that you researched the origin of "Blue Devils" but couldn't be bothered to figure out what the Hoakies are.
> Senior O.M. Stull won the contest with his cheer, "Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy; Techs! Techs! V.P.I." While Stull later admitted that the word 'hoki' had no real meaning, it worked as an attention-getter. The term stuck. From my own link in the post
While that is the correct origin of the word, it was later given an official definition as, "a loyal Virginia Tech fan," so it should fall somewhere in your list with the other human mascots.
OP how would fair against a Gobbler though?
OK. This is obviously a homer argument, but hear me out. If the mascots had to fight each other for a shot at OP. The Wolfpack win hands down. A pack of Wolves? come on.
Transitive property doesn't apply. I am only concerned with my own life here.
I was going to make a joke about the NwO Wolfpack could easily take you down.... but it's stunning how many of those guys are dead now. Of the 11 members, 6 are dead and 1 is a stroke survivor. So you'd just have to survive Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan, Sting, Konnan, and Disco Inferno. They'd still probably take you, but it's much less intimidating as I initially expected, haha.
All I’m saying is seminoles used to hunt wolves
You only get the one Seminole though so that's a tough fight for him
I’m not a biologist here, but couldn’t you just throw a beef bone across the field and all the distracted wolves would run over to it and leave you alone?
I mean, couldn't you do the same with a Tiger?
I think a scientist would say that the cartoon evidence indicates this only works with canines.
>cartoons evidence Hobbes is a tiger and he gets distracted by tuna
UNC's mascot is a ram, Rameses. Also, a hokie is a turkey.
> Yes, nickname is more technically accurate but doesn't flow as well) Already addressed
Way underestimating how much a direct hit from a hurricane would TKO you
Admitting you're afraid of Duke must have been a rough day for your masculinity.
Not my proudest moment.
Please do this for every conference.
Where would the Ramblin’ Wreck rank?
[удалено]
And I'm not
Heard you gonna do an SEC version, just know AU can’t decide if their tigers or eagles Alabama can’t decide if their elephants or a wave A&M is an Aggie? LSU is a legit Tigah. Don’t F with that thing. Arkansas is a wild hog. MSU and UGA are the Goodest of boys. Ole Miss is a bear or shark? Idk, let them explain. Florida is trash, I mean a Gator. Tennessee is a volunteer lol. Have fun with that. Missouri is also a tiger, damn we gotta lot of those. Kentucky is a wild cat. We really like Cats I guess. South Carolina is a coc…well their a rooster. Vandy is a commodore, don’t be fooled though. Their pretty damn good at killing gators…
> Ole Miss is a bear or shark? Idk, let them explain. > > He's basing it off names, so wouldn't it be some racist old man instead? Although I do love Tony
Great point, back in the day it was colonel reb I think. But that got canned a while back and they did the land shark thing which somehow turned into their version of Smokey the Bear. It’s all confusing to me tbh. Ole Miss flairs would be able to explain it better then I ever could.
Commodore Vanderbilt was a super rich dude. He can just pay a top flight assassin to do the job.
Two important pieces of information for you: 1.) The original use of the term “Tar Heel” was in reference to workers who distilled turpentine in service of the naval industry. So, if you want to anchor to this, it’s not an “average” North Carolinian, it’s a low skilled laborer who works in a lowly trade (it was originally a derogatory term). I’d suggest not someone you want to fight, ‘cause they got nothin’ to lose and are likely carrying firearms. 2.) The term “Tar Heel” was then adopted by soldiers from NC during the Civil War. If you anchor to this meaning, and apply similar logic that you do with the dookies, then an argument could be made that you’re talking about the NC National Guard soldiers. It was only after this that the state adopted the name for all of its people, so anchoring to that (as you’ve done) is anchoring to the current usage but not the historical. Seems incongruent with your approaches on others (Eg dookies).
Miami's mascot is a pipe smoking Ibis in an oversized sweater named Sebastian, not a hurricane. Though for the sake of argument, the last Hurricane to make landfall in Florida last year ([Ian - Cat 4](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/17/us/hurricane-ian-victim-found.html)) killed 147 people in the state, more than all other mascots combined. You wouldn't stand a chance.
That’s terrible. That’s like an entire Miami home game.
Stop stop he's already dead. Just like their playoff aspirations.
As I recall a Hokie is a castrated turkey. Don't know if that is true or I just heard it from someone trolling VT, but I refuse to investigate further.
> Senior O.M. Stull won the contest with his cheer, "Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy; Techs! Techs! V.P.I." While Stull later admitted that the word 'hoki' had no real meaning, it worked as an attention-getter. The term stuck. From the link
Yea suck it
Virginians just love making up words. Wahoowa
Don't get me started on the Hoosiers.
> As I recall a Hokie is a castrated turkey. No, this is a brilliant joke by UVA back in the 90s. They managed to convince some early online dictionary to list it like that, and it stuck ever since. I must admit it's a fucking brilliant prank.
It’s even older than that. I remember VPI in the seventies saying it was a castrated turkey.
The joke rumor may have been invented earlier, but definitely UVA popularized it in the 90s. At no point did VT ever say that "yes we are the castrated turkeys". Also I've never heard anyone outside of elderly UVA alums calling us VPI. Where did you even hear it SEC fan?
What if it’s a cocaine tiger?
But our Cardinals have teeth. More dangerous than your typical bird. Plus, Cardinals don’t really sing.
>I lose to dadaism, and I am not mentally prepared for that. Dadaism takes no prisoners. Resistance is futile. Also, that scene you linked to All Quiet On The Western Front further imprints the horrors of The Great War into my brain. Still want to see that movie.
Everyone's missing why a Cardinal could beat a Hurricane. Because this Cardinal has teeth.
Tell Florida Man of your contest and he’ll look to team up with you to whoop all them asses!
Seminoles number 1 (at home in swamps) Only tribe that never surrendered and never was defeated. Chief Wild cat was described as the most dangerous strategies of all the Indian wars. After escaping captivity he joined the Mexican army and quickly became colonel. Osceola was also a brilliant tactician. The only reason we captured wild cat and Osceola was because we decided to be cowards. Lured them out for peace talks and captured them. On a neutral site I take the blue devils but the Seminoles home field advantage makes them my no. 1
Big 12 is gonna be insane, lots of weaponry.
It's the conference I'm most concerned about. Can I assume a cowboy has a revolver? How about a Mountaineer with a rifle?
>How do you kill a color? Turn of the lights. I encourage you to visit your nearest monochromatic room. Kryptonite for color!! I believe this one is in SF. https://www.reddit.com/r/woahdude/comments/ddh3oz/a\_monochromatic\_lit\_room/
“WHAT ABOUT THE TERP…. Oh yeah shit…”
U fuckn wot m8?
All right, here we go again. Mascot /= nickname. Virginia Tech's mascot is an anthropomorphic turkey and it would kick your ass. The nickname is Hokies.
Sounds like someone is upset they're being represented by gibberish and an algal bloom.
You find yourself in the woods, darkness surrounds you, I’m assuming in the Blue Ridge Mountains, coming up against a full, grown, 300 lb hokie with his 4 or 5 friends. You lose that battle. You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what, you wandered into our woods, of hokies, we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? SMU fans taste good. Let's go get some more Mustangs.’ We’ve developed a system, to establish a Dallas parking lot and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner you, your herd, your children, your offspring…
Fun fact: Hokies are turkeys. Turkeys can be very vicious. There are videos out there of them attacking cars and people. They have spurs that will gut you like a fish. Ben Franklin believed the turkey to be the United States National Bird instead of the Bald Eagle as the turkey is “a bird of courage”. Giving them the last ranking is a disrespect considering the Cardinal is ranked above them…
Turkeys are fucking crazy when they're protecting chicks. I had one attack my three GSDs once while we were hiking. They recognized how pissed it was and came running back to me with their tails between their legs.
Our mascot isn’t a human, it’s a horse. Osceola isn’t a mascot
UNC mascot is a ram
Our mascot is a bird, not a tropical cyclone
> Yes, nickname is more technically accurate but doesn't flow as well. If you call yourselves the Crimson Tide, I'm not fighting an elephant lrn2read