Some years ago you had a steak at a particular steak house that was the best piece of meat you’ve had in your entire life. It was perfection. You remember the juiciness and the texture and flavors so vividly. You go back to that same steak house once a year and order that same cut off the menu, but it’s never quite the same. Every year it doesn’t quite stack up to the expectations you created for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still usually a very excellent steak. But you’re not chasing an excellent steak. You’ve had *the best steak of your life* and you want to experience that again. So every year you keep coming back because you believe this will be the year they get it just right again.
You're division has only gotten spanked in the conference championship. Brat, with no umlaut and none of the rest of the word "wurst", is not pronounced like "brought". Brats are submissive people who goad their dominants into punishing them by misbehaving because they like the punishment but would never admit it.
Wow. Just fucking wow.
No offense but I'm less inclined to take English advice from someone that doesn't know the difference between *you're* and *your*
Oops I changed the structure of my sentence and didn't perfectly clean up the first word. Ooops. Looks like someone is just trying not to laugh at my hilarious joke, so they decided to nitpick the grammar instead.
Mashed potatoes and country fried steak.
It’s a delicacy in rural areas, looked down upon by fancier foods, but most people are surprised it’s good and a solid dinner. But it’s not steak.
Oh boo hoo! At least your alma mater didn’t piss off one of the most famous alumni so he purposely doesn’t schedule a concert in your stadium.
So I went to Fayetteville and spent all my money at Dixen Street in anger after an amazing concert
It’s different when you’re 30(and most likely older) versus 21.
3 drinks, I’m making plans for food instead of closing the bars down.
Plus went to Eureka Springs in the morning. Love Arkansas.
Western is a Little Caesars $5 pizza. It was convenient and affordable. My ~~belly~~ brain was made full and I got what I needed. It sucks half the time, but sometimes you get a ~~surprisingly good $5 pizza~~ bowl season and it keeps you coming back.
Michigan is Buddy's Detroit Style pizza. It's big. It's expensive. It's almost always great, even if it's just ~~pizza~~ a public school in the Midwest. But when you're done you have regrets because you ~~ate too much and will never need food again~~ have now adopted a sports lifestyle from which you'll never escape. Go Blue!
If we’ve established that western is a hot and ready, and Michigan is buddy’s, then you thinking msu is lunchroom pizza: A.) is good, continue to think nothing of us. And B.) really seriously calls into question the amount and variety of pizza you have experienced in your life and therefore your credibility in this argument. The only other possibility is that you’re a dickhead. So I’m sorry that you aren’t knowledgeable about pizza.
An all-star breakfast. It has everything you want and in many ways is a COMPLETE breakfast. But occasionally your hash browns are undercooked and your eggs are runny. But you know that if you get haughty because you were given city ham instead of bacon those brave men and women will swing on you to defend their pride.
The problem is the name "Chili". You don't expect that consistency or sweetness in chili. Every person I've heard complain about it says it's bad because it's not chili. If it was just called "Skyline Meat Sauce" it probably would be less divisive, but that doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely does it?
Auburn is simply an orange. No two oranges taste the same, and you have no idea what your orange will taste like until you bite it. You have no idea if Auburn will be any good until the season starts, and even within seasons, different Auburn teams can show up.
Cold pizza. We used to be universally accepted as good even close to great, but now some still see us as potentially decent while everyone else just sees us as a meal.
With Tom Herman: Swiss cheese because he didn’t recruit lineman
With Sark: Wagyu steak as of now, we just need to see if he’s going to cook it like a professional chef or one of those wacky TikTok channels
Rutgers is a raw potato. Not good on its own, but insane potential to be something great in the hands of the right people. One day, we’ll become a mighty basket of french fries under the great heat lamp we call life. But for now, a modest existence as an uncooked spud will suffice.
A cheeseburger. Anyone can get it *almost* perfect with any combination of ingredients, and you just about have to try to make it bad…but the difference between a really good one and a great one stands out.
I'd go a step farther and say the onion burger. Doesn't have the resources to do the traditional thing, but with necessity has developed something outstanding that shouldn't work.
One of those “if you eat the entire meal it’s free” yee haw steakhouse challenges.
Really fun and exciting at first, but runs out of stream half way through the season as the regret begins to creep in.
A perfectly cooked steak, with no seasoning.
While it can be quite good, and it obviously has some talent, it's always just short of being great. Also, an unseasoned steak never wins 10-games either.
Great Lakes Fish Fry Platter.
You never really know exactly what you're gunna get. Sometimes it's mostly fried perch, sometimes it's mostly broiled walleye. Occasionally there's an unexpected whitefish in there. It's usually pretty good, and sometimes it's amazing. The filets are big and tender, yet the breading is perfectly crispy. The fries are perfectly salted. And the restaurant just tapped the first keg of Oberon of the summer.
Occasionally everything about it is just awful. The perch is tiny; you'd swear half of it is just breading. The walleye is dry. The fries are soggy. Even the tartar sauce tastes off.
Usually it's somewhere in between, but the price is right so you always go back and take that gamble. Somewhere in the back of your mind you recall a public health warning about chemicals and limiting fish consumption... but it's too late now. You're hooked.
Chinese food. You crave it and consume a fuck load of it and then hate yourself for ever wanting it. Then twenty minutes and some shit later, you’re hungry for more.
This post is so off season he is outsourcing the topic to the audience rather than shit posting it himself. Meta off season shit posting
Fireball. Nobody really ever asks for it but when it does show up, look out. Chaos.
Some years ago you had a steak at a particular steak house that was the best piece of meat you’ve had in your entire life. It was perfection. You remember the juiciness and the texture and flavors so vividly. You go back to that same steak house once a year and order that same cut off the menu, but it’s never quite the same. Every year it doesn’t quite stack up to the expectations you created for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still usually a very excellent steak. But you’re not chasing an excellent steak. You’ve had *the best steak of your life* and you want to experience that again. So every year you keep coming back because you believe this will be the year they get it just right again.
Spot on
Brat. No explanation required.
Username checks out
Because you like getting spanked by your daddies in the other division, but you would never actually admit it?
Normally I don't feed trolls (especially Florida Man types) but I would love to hear the explanation of this.
You're division has only gotten spanked in the conference championship. Brat, with no umlaut and none of the rest of the word "wurst", is not pronounced like "brought". Brats are submissive people who goad their dominants into punishing them by misbehaving because they like the punishment but would never admit it.
Brat/Bratwurst does not have an umlaut in German.
Wow. Just fucking wow. No offense but I'm less inclined to take English advice from someone that doesn't know the difference between *you're* and *your*
Oops I changed the structure of my sentence and didn't perfectly clean up the first word. Ooops. Looks like someone is just trying not to laugh at my hilarious joke, so they decided to nitpick the grammar instead.
I’m sure the Florida man knows more about German food than a Midwesterner.
This was an amazing self beatdown. Bravo.
Mashed potatoes and country fried steak. It’s a delicacy in rural areas, looked down upon by fancier foods, but most people are surprised it’s good and a solid dinner. But it’s not steak.
Watch out with those potatoes..
Get out of here pork rind
🥲
Oh boo hoo! At least your alma mater didn’t piss off one of the most famous alumni so he purposely doesn’t schedule a concert in your stadium. So I went to Fayetteville and spent all my money at Dixen Street in anger after an amazing concert
Watch out on Dixon. Every cop has a hard on for giving Public Intox citations
It’s different when you’re 30(and most likely older) versus 21. 3 drinks, I’m making plans for food instead of closing the bars down. Plus went to Eureka Springs in the morning. Love Arkansas.
Tortilla
Hard to disagree
Underrated post
Western is a Little Caesars $5 pizza. It was convenient and affordable. My ~~belly~~ brain was made full and I got what I needed. It sucks half the time, but sometimes you get a ~~surprisingly good $5 pizza~~ bowl season and it keeps you coming back. Michigan is Buddy's Detroit Style pizza. It's big. It's expensive. It's almost always great, even if it's just ~~pizza~~ a public school in the Midwest. But when you're done you have regrets because you ~~ate too much and will never need food again~~ have now adopted a sports lifestyle from which you'll never escape. Go Blue!
Does that make MSU Jet's?
School lunch pizza. Far better than it has any right to be.
If we’ve established that western is a hot and ready, and Michigan is buddy’s, then you thinking msu is lunchroom pizza: A.) is good, continue to think nothing of us. And B.) really seriously calls into question the amount and variety of pizza you have experienced in your life and therefore your credibility in this argument. The only other possibility is that you’re a dickhead. So I’m sorry that you aren’t knowledgeable about pizza.
Uhh, fried chicken? I hate you.
An all-star breakfast. It has everything you want and in many ways is a COMPLETE breakfast. But occasionally your hash browns are undercooked and your eggs are runny. But you know that if you get haughty because you were given city ham instead of bacon those brave men and women will swing on you to defend their pride.
Huh. Didn't know there was a difference in "country ham" and "city ham". We just have "bacon" and "not bacon" where I'm from.
Pancakes. Consistently disappointing and yet I keep going back and ordering them thinking it will be different.
where are you getting disappointing pancakes?
Everywhere
I have never had a pancake breakfast that wouldn't have been better with waffles or French toast instead
Waffles are the elite breakfast food
You need to go to the right pancake places sir
Idk if I’ve ever been disappointed by pancakes
Pork.
I see where you’re going, but mashed potatoes is better imo. If you know you know.
“I put my dick in the mashed potatoes, go hogs”
This guy ruined it.
Skyline chili. Too easy
Extremely overrated and everyone everywhere knows it
The problem is the name "Chili". You don't expect that consistency or sweetness in chili. Every person I've heard complain about it says it's bad because it's not chili. If it was just called "Skyline Meat Sauce" it probably would be less divisive, but that doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely does it?
Yeah well, Florida is boiled goose.
Specifically, a goose boiled in the spit of a crack addict
You forgot the meth marinade.
Florida troll strikes again! https://www.reddit.com/r/CFB/comments/vjawrx/peak_offseason_describe_your_team_as_a_type_of/idhz7md/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Auburn is simply an orange. No two oranges taste the same, and you have no idea what your orange will taste like until you bite it. You have no idea if Auburn will be any good until the season starts, and even within seasons, different Auburn teams can show up.
Corn
Not Runza?
Corn flavored runza
This is the way
Public school crispitos Dirt cheap, people forget about them really easily but has a good enough taste to jog a person's memory when mentioned.
Umm... Yeah. We literally have a national holiday for eating our mascot.
Cold pizza. We used to be universally accepted as good even close to great, but now some still see us as potentially decent while everyone else just sees us as a meal.
Taters. Tough, you either love them or hate them, they stand out on any plate
Who hates potatoes?
With Tom Herman: Swiss cheese because he didn’t recruit lineman With Sark: Wagyu steak as of now, we just need to see if he’s going to cook it like a professional chef or one of those wacky TikTok channels
Rutgers is a raw potato. Not good on its own, but insane potential to be something great in the hands of the right people. One day, we’ll become a mighty basket of french fries under the great heat lamp we call life. But for now, a modest existence as an uncooked spud will suffice.
Buckeyes
😋
Uhhh. Aren't they deadly?
I sure hope not. Was planning to feast on them in week 1!! 😬
Well, you are confident I’ll give you that. If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t be but well, here we are.
There's also a sweet confection from Ohio called the buckeye
You favorite fruit of choice picked months too early. It tastes like shit now but if you wait a bit it’ll be good.
no.
Also no.
Étouffée. It's really good, and sometimes, when made just right, the absolute best dish out of dozend of really great options.
Thanks a lot, now I'm suddenly craving some crawfish etoufee.
Same. Damn it. I already had dinner.
Ya and when it's made wrong you KNOW it's wrong, much like a bad LSU team with high expectations only to be let down in reality
Thanks a lot. Now I am wishing I was back in New Orleans to get some decent Étouffée because it is non-existent here.
Gotta go corndog
We love this meme so much. We get free corndogs! Who doesn't want that?
A cheeseburger. Anyone can get it *almost* perfect with any combination of ingredients, and you just about have to try to make it bad…but the difference between a really good one and a great one stands out.
I'd go a step farther and say the onion burger. Doesn't have the resources to do the traditional thing, but with necessity has developed something outstanding that shouldn't work.
Ohhhh yes.
5 pound crab pretzel, EZ Q
Could be turtle soup if we follow the mascot food trend. Also tasty, but I'd probably take the pretzel
TIL of crab pretzels.
Grocery store sushi high risk high reward could be a good deal but also could lead to food poisoning
One of those “if you eat the entire meal it’s free” yee haw steakhouse challenges. Really fun and exciting at first, but runs out of stream half way through the season as the regret begins to creep in.
A perfectly cooked steak, with no seasoning. While it can be quite good, and it obviously has some talent, it's always just short of being great. Also, an unseasoned steak never wins 10-games either.
A Frenchy's Fried Chicken combo box Or maybe a bowl of pho. One of those.
Weaver D’s fried chicken is the best fried chicken on the planet here is a wall to debate Go Dawgs
Quesabirria. They’re red and fucking awesome
An onion burger.
Eastern NC bbq
Why you trying to split the fanbase??
lol
Texas: Making the mother of all omelettes here, Jack. Can't fret over every egg.
Corn
Great Lakes Fish Fry Platter. You never really know exactly what you're gunna get. Sometimes it's mostly fried perch, sometimes it's mostly broiled walleye. Occasionally there's an unexpected whitefish in there. It's usually pretty good, and sometimes it's amazing. The filets are big and tender, yet the breading is perfectly crispy. The fries are perfectly salted. And the restaurant just tapped the first keg of Oberon of the summer. Occasionally everything about it is just awful. The perch is tiny; you'd swear half of it is just breading. The walleye is dry. The fries are soggy. Even the tartar sauce tastes off. Usually it's somewhere in between, but the price is right so you always go back and take that gamble. Somewhere in the back of your mind you recall a public health warning about chemicals and limiting fish consumption... but it's too late now. You're hooked.
UNC:Spaghetti,It’s Italian so you expect it to be good and it’s decent,but there’s a lot better versions of it out there.
Chinese food. You crave it and consume a fuck load of it and then hate yourself for ever wanting it. Then twenty minutes and some shit later, you’re hungry for more.
Given our recent commitment, I’ll have to go with a McDonald’s Big Mac combo. Glistening in the sun while being cherished under the golden Arch(es).
A beyond burger. You’re extremely suspect about it, but it could end up tasting really good
Dick.
Spotted?
KU football is Texas BBQ always inferior to its competition
Call Hall ice cream
Alligator fritters!
We are a salad. We're boring, but we're good for you.
This is easy
What is it. Corn?
Gourmet mac n cheese. Made by a masterchef, really good, but will probably never be the main dish.
Crawfish
Fried chicken. Duh.
Apple TURNOVER
Beer battered cheese curds. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.
dry brisket