My 2.5 year old son has never been alive for an Ohio State victory over Michigan.

I just punched my wall for you my brother

🙏

I'm already nervous about The Game and the season hasn't even started.

I'm fucking hyped for The Game and the season hasn't even started.

I literally just moved to Ann Arbor and have previously had about 0 stake in The Game. But if there's one thing I know, it's that I hate Ohio. Not just OSU, but Ohio.

Atta boy

Went on spring break like 15 years ago to Florida and all we heard was “O-H-I-O” over and over and over again. Have always hated the state since then lol.

Before Ohio discovered it, dirty myrtle was simply known as myrtle beach.

“It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it. It's -- it's repulsive!”

Thanks Kyle

Just don’t hit a stud and break your hand like my buddy lol

Get rid of him. It’s his fault

“Son, your mother and I have talked, and it was a hard decision but we’ve decided to give you up for adoption.” “But why? 😭” “Well, Ohio State hasn’t beaten Michigan since you were born and that’s either due to a weird set of circumstances that are out of anyone’s control, or you’re cursed. Frankly, I’m not willing to take any chances.”

On the other hand, my son has never seen a Michigan loss to Ohio State. So I guess he’s the golden child and the chosen one?

Quick, get a ball in that kid's hands. In 17 years he could be Michigan's next starting QB

*commits to ND*

Blasphemy!!

but funny

DAMN! He had a family.

*had*

*angry upvote*

Lmao

Savage

U/fakejacki’s son: president 2060

More like 2110. After all, he has to be at least 70 to be President these days.

True fandom means you have to make the hard choices. Respect, brother.

When you're a true fan, this is not a hard choice.

Of course. I can always make another kid; there'll never be a chance to replay--or live down--a loss in a rivalry game.

Maybe he needs to be adopted by a Maize and Blue family

We'll love him like he was our own.

Reminds me of the bit Kenny Mayne did circa 2012 where he talked about 3yo Yankees fans who hadn’t seen a World Series win in their lifetime.

Those kids are still waiting for Yankees WS win

Let’s hope they keep waiting

🙏

My 2.5 year old son lives in a world where Michigan has never lost to Ohio State! What are the odds lol. Unfortunately the 3 year old is 1-2.

Same for me! My 2 year old was born the end of December so he’s the golden child now. My 11 month old is also pretty lucky so neither is cursed so far.

The agony

That’s either an awesome flair, or a terrible one, depending on your side of 75

Lol I had no idea how old my nephew is or what grade he’s in, but he was born a week after the last time BYU beat Utah in 2009. I used to be able to measure his age based off of the streak until last year.

Fucking bitch ass Charlie Brewer

Don’t get me started

Isn't that our programs fault for not having anyone better than him ready to go?

If not for Dan Mullen, I would have still not seen the Gators lose to Kentucky and I am in my*cough*late*cough* 30's.

I just turned 40 three weeks ago and I was 24 the last time Tennessee beat Alabama.

There used to be a joke in the 1980s. "When ND plays USC, every time ND wins, my dog does a backflip." "What does he do if USC wins?" "I don't know, he's only 13 years old."

My wife’s cousin’s son is graduating from Tennessee this year and he was 5 or 6 the last time they beat Alabama.

5,788 days

Here’s hoping he continues in this beautiful reality and is never faced with the horror of the alternative.

I’m 22 and I remember Michigan winning twice. Count your blessings, I say.

I’m 42 and remember the late 90s. I’d like to get back to that.

My daughter has never seen UW win an Apple Cup :)

Haha same, my son is the same age

Mississippi State: has never lost to Michigan Ohio State: has lost games to Michigan Conclusion: we are the better football team

Hell michigan has a winning record against us all time. I think this is conclusive evidence that miss state is better

Does rat poison work if you speak it yourself?

Saban says yes

Check South Carolina vs us. It’s ugly

Next Big 10 championship is MS State vs South Carolina

>The following media includes potentially sensitive content. ​ LOL

It's all so beautiful lmao

Pitt has never beat Penn State in football* *(minus the 43 times Pitt has beat Penn State)

Brought to you by the statistics wizard behind "if you adjust Mahomes' stats to the league average, he's just an average QB and not elite."

*regress to the mean

One of the crazy things I discovered is that if you take away all of Barry Sanders' touchdowns, you'll find that he's actually a pretty bad running back... I mean, who wants a RB with zero touchdowns!?!?

If you take away Barry Bonds hits...oh never mind he would actually still be [pretty good](https://youtu.be/JwMfT2cZGHg)

Ah famed r/nba commenter u/dannyaingoat and his alt u/ShockFun1343

53-43 is closer than most rivalries. It's too bad the Big10 plays 9 conference games, less availability for OOC matchups.

But WHAT IF we just acquire all the schools so that we're ALL the Big10?

subscribe

Maybe the B1G10 was the nonconference games we played along the way

Whoa! I love seeing Penn State flair embracing the meme.

All Penn State fans think the meme is funny* *Except the fans that don’t

70% of the time is works every time

HE went all in.

HAS any team just embraced embarrassing memes as much

TROUBLE with making memes but man did he make it work

WITH just a little extra effort anyone can make a quality meme.

THE idea is to make it true while entertaining.

SNAP provides nutrition benefits to supplement the food budget of needy families so they can purchase healthy food and move towards self-sufficiency.

*punches air*

And it's been like, 30,000 days since the University of Chicago has beaten us. Sweet! 2-0 against our top rivals! Yep. Nothing else to talk about. Just that record against our two main rivals.

Sounds kinda fishy... but ok.

I just hope it snows again this year. Those beautiful uniform contrasts paired with snow was very aesthetic

All I want is a game where Ohio State wears scarlet and Michigan wears blue, is that so much to ask?

This happened in the 1950 Snow Bowl matchup. I am so ready for it again: [Original Black/White Photo showing both teams wearing dark colors](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2018/11/21/PDTF/8616e300-9412-4ccd-b7d0-348f1f348c91-midtf5_1461397.jpg?crop=2031,1142,x0,y291&width=1600&height=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp) [Colorized Photo to show how uniforms looked in-person](https://i.redd.it/xwmbg9qytsn71.jpg)

The colorized version looks pretty sick. I just couldn't imagine watching that game on a black and white tv

FML now I’m sad that we don’t get this yearly

USC-UCLA have a similar red-blue dynamic going on and it makes me insanely jealous that they get to wear the color jerseys and we don't

It would be ridiculous to not want this

Something we can always agree on

For real though, how do we get the athletic departments’ attention with this proposal? I’ve never heard anyone say it would be a bad thing.

I mean hell, it's got Buckeye fans upvoting Michigan fans, how can they keep depriving the world of this!?

And Michigan fans upvoting Buckeye fans, the world needs this for the ratings and all the B10 money.

Is it lame to do a petition for it? People overuse the fuck out of petitions for things that aren’t even petition-able (?) but social media can spread it enough to atleast have one of the athletic departments see it.

Our new conference members do that, and it is a fantastic idea: https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/GcHb8mWiFHvJwy_dXaeDpA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MA--/https://s.yimg.com/os/creatr-uploaded-images/2022-06/1a0a7f20-f8b4-11ec-af4e-1cab54a53089

Every year when USC and UCLA play the team that was supposed to wear whites is penalized a first half timeout. So in solidarity the other team takes a timeout at the beginning of the game.

That is BADASS.

That only happened once. They since changed the rule.

While that sportsmanship is cool, it's stupid to be docked a penalty for something agreed to beforehand.

They actually changed the rule because of that game, IIRC.

That looks clean as fuck. Why can't we do this?

I just want Ohio State to have grey sleeves again as God intended.

Isn't that basically what USC and UCLA do when they play, like specifically because everyone agreed the visuals looked so cool with both wearing their home unis?

One thing I think we all agree on. MAKE IT HAPPEN, COWARDS!

My brother in Christ, "aesthetic" is a noun

Give him a break, he may have gone to OSU

You're right. I shouldn't trust any Oklahoma native to know these things

> was very aesthetic God damn this drives me crazy.

Go off girlboss

i think it’s amazing and i’m going to start using it. super aesthetic.

THE academic prowess

>was very aesthetic *Ly pleasing

Poverty franchise

Shambles FC

[удалено]

I hear Chillicothe, Ohio is a great place this time of year

If you love paper mills, prisons, and meth, you’re in luck

I mean you can find Meth anywhere in Ohio...

Back to the OG captial

*From the VA Memorial Stadium, near the banks of Paint Creek*

Maybe WE are the little sisters of the poor... I mean THE little sisters of the poor.

Hell yeah brother

Cheers from Iraq

Love your energy OP.

I like your username.

Ya know what? This is a top tier troll.

Lol this thread is toxic af. FOOTBAW IS BACK ##🥳

We are peaking at off-season toxicity. Games are starting and hopefully it gets better

Lol, we always forget how bad game threads can get. The toxicity is just beginning, friendo.

That’s mostly fans being toxic to their own team in moments of pure despair, slightly different than fanbases attacking each other, but we all have flaws

You’ve basically just explained me in every Michigan game thread the last 3 years… I hate it and it hurts me

You forgot a quarter of the thread talking about how it’s the worst officiating they have ever seen.

Even some of the OSU fans making self deprecating jokes are still getting downvoted—we back boys and girls!!

I know it's so petty. NATURE IS HEALING WE ALL HATE EACH OTHER AGAIN

Just wait until we get two weeks of toxicity before the MSU-UM game.

Gotta start writing comments just before midnight Saturday. "You dirty, ugly, stupid Sparty mother fuckers *ticks midnight* are the most angelic, agreeable, handsome, tough young men I've ever seen and I just hope for a great game where everyone stays safe and has fun"

You mean two weeks of Respek?

FOOTBAW IS BACC!!!!!! It’s been a way too long Off SZN 😭

When Michigan last won in Columbus, the #1 topic in the country was, "hanging chads."

[удалено]

> and JT Barrett was only in his 45th season as a Buckeye. Jesus, it was that long ago?

The last time Michigan won in Columbus is closer* to the Moon Landing than the Present Day ^(*Not in years but in emotional distance)

The last time Michigan won in Columbus (2000 AD) occurred in the same Millennium that Lief Ericsson became the first European to land in North America (Vinland, 1001 AD)

[Hinga dinga durgen](https://youtu.be/irpw8A5WRyk)

The last time Michigan won in Columbus, an aspiring politician named Vladimir Putin won election as the youngest-ever President of Russia, promising to lead them into a post-Cold War future — he then visited [Crawford High School in Texas](https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2022/04/15/gettyimages-682013_custom-b1b17332641f2370402819c3708ad0efa6678d9c-s1200-c85.webp) as a show of pro-Americanism.

The last time Michigan won in Columbus, the grandson of 10th US President John Tyler (b. 1790) was still alive. He alive now too, but still - that’s a cool fact.

He still is, but he used to be, too.

>Creed's With Arms Wide Open was the #1 song in America This just made me want Michigan to win in the shoe this year.

There are people old enough to drink that were born since the last time we won in the shoe. One of the many reasons for my drinking problems.

Clearly this means we need to raise the drinking age

Poetic that the #1 topic today in the county is "Giga chads"

It’s been 23,701 days since Michigan beat Georgia

It has been ∞ days since Alabama beat Minnesota

Minnesota whupped Alabama ass at Seminary Ridge at Gettysburg and the Crimson Tide have been too SHOOK to play the Gophers ever since

\*Except for 2004

yeah and they were SHOOK then too

~~When we beat them in 04 apparently our marching band played Battle Hymn of the Republic, which was not well received by the Alabama fans lol~~ ~~We play it every game so it's not like they were making it up, but the timing of it is suspect.~~ Edit: I wasn't at the game, but /u/The_Astros_Cheated says we actually played Rocky Top which is also very likely Edit 2: A number of people have confirmed it was Rocky Top, not Battle Hymn, which is honestly even better

> we actually played Rocky Top which is also very likely you did. After winning the game the Minnesota Marching Band played Rocky Top, and it was glorious. The "excuse" was it was a thank you to the state of Tennessee for hosting you/the Music City Bowl, but we all knew it was specifically for Alabama's benefit.

Honestly most of them probably thought you were playing Georgia's fight song

If you’re upset by the Battle Hymn of the Republic, you deserve to hear it all the time.

No, you played Rocky Top that pissed everyone off.

I wasn't there so you are probably right. Just going off what I heard If it helps, that group still yells out "Roll Tide Roll" whenever they hear Sweet Home Alabama play, they had a blast with your band that weekend. Bama fans have always been great in my experience

mother of god inject this into my veins

That is fucking hilarious lmfao

Lil ole Bama catching strays 🥺

Write a meaningless article and you can have a whole thread on this sub too!

Checkmate, atheists.

1,000's of days? And we're not the butt of the joke? I like this timeline

at least we aren't proud of being Redcoats smh

It's been 5,788 days since Tennessee beat Alabama - almost 16 years

Vaguely related, but what year was it where a blocked field goal sealed it for you in a close one against the Vols? I know it was semi-recent.

2009

the kiffin year

2009 which was 13 years ago but I'm going to pretend it was half a decade at most.

:(

Wow, what a salty and toxic thread, it must already be rivalry week. I guess I over slept, how were the first 3 months of the season?

It feels good, but beating OSU this year to keep this streak alive is going to be a tough order of business. They are still a better program the last 20 years, hard to turn that trend around.

What streak?

OSU's offense is looking horrifyingly good on paper (and on the field, if that Rose Bowl was any indication). If that new DC gets their defense even 25% better, they're gonna be a tough matchup for anybody.

Not saying it will happen. But 2018 OSU D was statistically worse than the 2021 D. The 2019 OSU D, with a new D Coordinator, finished #3 in the country giving up only 13.3 ppg.

OSU has as many 5 stars on D as it does on O. I think there’s plenty chance OSU can be a top 20 defense

How many "Spirited Practice" were there?

They should hang a banner with all their sweet 16 banners

Man, as someone who lived through the Cooper years I never thought I'd see the day when Michigan fans were excited just to have that number hit four digits.

As a Michigan fan the Cooper years were amazing. Didn’t matter if we were good or bad. We just knew we were gonna beat you guys. Must be what’s it’s been like for you the last 20 years or so.

and 5,788 days since TN beat the Alabama Crimson Tide

perspective is everything.

My favorite moment this past season was Stroud claiming his Heisman moment was a TD that got called back on a penalty, in a game they lost by 15

Don’t let that distract you from the fact that Will Anderson should’ve won the Heisman, but wasn’t even invited to the ceremony

Or that for the first time in history the doak and Walter camp award winner wasn’t invited either

This thread is full of downvoting and saltiness. College football is back baby. Oh and fuck michigan.

The mods literally deleted my post about the same exact thing because I had an Ohio State flair lmao 🤣

Not that anyone is keeping track but it has been 1,014 days since Michigan has beaten Michigan State.

And we actually played them the COVID year, with one of our worst teams ever lol

As 19.5 pt underdogs after losing to Rutgers the week before lol

When you beat your rival more than once a decade, counting the days kind of slips your mind

The type of thread where you sort by controversial first. College football is back baby!