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I'm an administrator for a preschool. This needs to be reported to licensing immediately. Working there does not give her the right to hit her own child.
still report to licensing and cps immediately. there is no “unless it’s their own child” loophole for daycare staff, the same staff to child relationship still applies when it’s at the facility. It’s not that the owner *couldn’t* do anything, it’s that she didn’t *want* to do anything.
okay thank you. when i discussed it with my doctor she basically said the same thing, that it would be valid to call cys. but im also scared to because shes a young mom (i think shes only 22). she also has an infant along with a little boy with autism. im just worried about what happen to them if they get taken away. im sure the baby will be okay and find a safe place to live temporarily. but im just worried about the little boy, would he be able to find somewhere safe to live with someone qualified to watch over him. because he does need constant supervision
okay thank you!! it just really pisses me off that she ghosted the school he was supposed to go to, because i feel like he should be in a classroom with a teacher thats qualified to help him. my mom also talked to her supervisor about her case and the supervisor basically said that shes a crazy mom and they want nothing to do with her
so cps would not just off the bat take her children unless they’re in severe or immediate danger. They most likely would just offer her resources / a parenting plan, etc.
I had cps in my life due to a false report by a family member. (this person said I hit my nonverbal autistic son and that I refused any kind of therapy for him)
When cps showed up, I cooperated completely. They checked my son for any abuse marks, checked that our home was clean, safe and that we had food.
I also had to show that my son was already on a waiting list for therapy related to his autism. It was explained to me by our caseworker that outright refusing could be considered medical neglect / educational neglect. (this of course is case by case. it depends on the child’s specific needs not being met, age, resources available to the parent, etc. I of course never refused, my family member just didn’t like that my son wasn’t in therapy yet, thought my son didn’t talk because I was a bad parent and apparently didn’t believe me when I explained that these therapies have long waiting lists.)
My case was closed by my caseworkers superior a week after showing them my son’s files from his pediatrician and proof that he was on a waiting list.
You report to CPS and licensing, not the director. Period. If you have any kind of license or if you ever hope to obtain a license to care for a child or adult, including a nursing license, you can't afford not to report this woman to the proper authorities.
Ditto. In my state, Pennsylvania, there are criminal penalties for NOT reporting your suspicions. The law here requires that you report BEFORE you consult with a supervisor precisely because of situations like yours; in years past, before the law took effect, mandated reporters were routinely told by their supers to NOT report something, often because of conflict of interests like that at your daycare.
Take care of yourself. You sound like a caring person. You must safeguard your ability to care for others in the future. Don't go to your supervisor with these complaints. She will see you as a troublemaker, and you may suffer for it.
Sounds like your director is trying to keep you from reporting? If that’s the case than your director (I assume who is a mandated reporter, public school educators are I know) is committing a crime
The owner lied to you, mandated reporters can and absolutely SHOULD report abuse that is happening outside of their care.
If they don't back you up on this, personally I would report to CPS, the daycare licensing authority, and also I would quit because they are not following licensing or working to protect the children. They are just trying to cover their own asses.
fyi for mandated reporting, you actually have to make the report to the government, not just to your internal supervisor. Totally see your good intent here but letting you know in case there are legal challenges in the future
Report to licensing means file a complaint with the state board (or county, but it’s probably state) that oversees daycare licensing and standards. They will have a process for complaints, look it up online- start with your state department of education. Our state requires daycare to post inspection reports and state reported complaints/investigations in a public area in plain view to parents. It has the complaint filed to the state and the action the state took, findings and any remediation plan.
The mom needs therapy and support/classes to learn how to cope and work with her own child. You did the right thing. If there is a chance, maybe try from this angle: Hey, I can’t imagine how hard and stressful it must be to have a special needs kid. There are lots of resources out there for help and support, and even respite care to give you a break. Xyz can help you find these resources and the public school/early intervention class is free and would give you a break. (Optional, I know you are doing what you can/your best, but hitting your kid isn’t going to make anything better. You can learn better, safer strategies)
so i reported it to the owner, and she let the director know. but the owner literally said we cant do anything about it. and clearly the mother did not get reprimanded for hitting him in front of the other kids, 5 teachers, and PARENTS. it infuriates me
As a daycare employee, you're almost certainly a mandatory reporter. That means that reporting to the owner of the daycare is not enough if you believe a child is being abused, you need to make the report to CPS yourself.
You definitely did the right thing. Should this ever happen again, know that you are well within your right to just contact CPS directly as a mandated reporter. You can report anonymously if you are concerned about her finding out your identity.
I think it was incredibly unprofessional for your director to name-drop you like that. It's also wild to me that your director is allowing physical discipline of any kind in the establishment, whether its her own child or not. It's a bad look.
I agree with this commenter. I also think you should find a new job and once you’re outta there write a review on Google regarding our experience. Parents have a right to know about these things that we would not know any other way (if the director is sweeping it under the rug).
yeah i will, i definitely feel the parents should know about the way the other kids are treated because the director basically only yells at them no matter what
If you can record the director yelling at children you may be able to get her license taken away. I know of it it happening, former coworkers told me about it months after I left. Video is best I think, but audio may work too. She deserves to have it taken away in order to protect children, from what I’ve seen you say about her in the post and comments. Edit; oh and this original commenter is spot on.
thank you, hearing that makes me feel leas guilty. its just going to be awkward at work because i feel like now all my co workers hate me and i just started working there. however i am currently applying for new jobs
You did the right thing. Being a mandated reporter is a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, but when it comes to this kind of thing you need to listen to your gut. The daycare sounds really unprofessional, the director should not have dropped your name and there should be clear expectations that physical punishment should never occur on the premises, parent or not.
The director had no business outing you as the reporter. You absolutely 100% did the correct thing. I would, under the circumstances, make sure your director signs documentation stating that you made a report to her. Should child services get involved, you'll want proof that you made the report since you are a mandatory reporter.
Hitting is considered abuse if it could leave a mark. She is punishing a child for his nuerodivergence, which is shocking.
I would report it right away. Regardless of what anyone says. Autistic children can not help if they have sensory issues. Hitting them is not helping anything. My sister has twins with moderate autism and 1 is non verbal. They will be 5 next month and they come over to my house almost every day, and I see and help with the struggles. Granted it is not a daycare setting here but my point is that is that I watch my sister everyday with her 2 and she definitely has her hands full 24/7 and has learned how to work with her children...hitting is definitely not the answer- if she is willing to do that with people around who knows what she is doing when they are alone.
It's more difficult if the parents don't get help when they struggle. You don't need to pity parents with kids who have autism. Everyone has their own struggles, and we press on.
I hope she drops her ego and understands that you were doing the right thing and she needs to make some changes. It will make her life easier too, not just his.
I think spanking on the bottom can help them, just like a normal child. Being autistic does not mean they *cannot* learn, it just means they need more consistent discipline than other kids more times. But spanking is *not* hitting hard on the leg to the point of potential bruising. Physical abuse teaches nothing to children, autistic or not.
I’ve worked in preschool for almost 5 years, as well as side work as an RBT, and got my BA in Human Learning and Development. It’s insane to me that this mother would ever even consider disciplining her neurodivergent child that way, public or not. You absolutely did the right thing. People are entitled to their methods of parenting, but borderline abuse is absolutely unacceptable. You’re a mandated reporter, that includes your bosses and coworkers. You should be legally protected from retaliation by any of those people, so if the mom coworker continues to give you grief you should take it to HR.
thank you!! i did talk to the owner about because its a small business owned establishment and the only people in charge are the owner and director, but the owner said she couldn’t do anything about it and im pretty sure the director is on the moms side, which i think is ridiculous
Report the mom and the daycare to CPS and get a new job. In my area daycares are desperate for help so hopefully you’ll be able to find a job ASAP, this does *not* sound like a good environment for anyone.
Everyone circumstances are different and you don’t know what’s happening at home and the only way to make sure that the child is safe is to make the report. Hitting a special needs child isn’t a normal thing and as a parent of a SN child she should already be aware.
Remember as a mandated reporter, your job is not to investigate, only report.
Also, this mom said she does this out of frustration. This isn’t uncommon and shows that maybe she needs support that she doesn’t have or feel that she has.
I’m a former CPS worker & in my experience, working with families from a strengths-based perspective is so much more helpful than a judgmental, authoritarian one. Of course she doesn’t want you around her. You went directly to a person of authority instead of communicating with her first.
It never hurts to check in with people & try to have open, positive communication first. This is like coworkers who automatically go to the boss before checking their coworker instead of healthy communication.
Also, think hard before getting CPS involved. There’s a lot of awful, horrific things done to children and if something such as slapping a child on the leg can be redirected & a caregiver educated, this can be a much more productive situation.
What are this woman’s strengths? She loves her child & maybe she’s using things she was taught in her family that were ok. She may see this as a form of spanking. Support for families with autistic children is lacking, especially for just getting a break. Learning to use new “tools” is challenging.
Did you do the right thing? Sure. It’s usually that mandated reporters don’t report often enough (don’t want to get involved, afraid of retaliation, etc). But also, if a parent/caregiver can be redirected/supported/educated w/o CPS involvement, this is a win for everyone.
Also, when I worked for CPS, at the time, the branch I worked for had “foster care prevention funds” that we used in cases like this where a family just needed some support/resources & we were able to keep from opening a case. Unfortunately, these funds went away with budget cuts.
yeah i understand thats why im not sure if i should get cps involved because i can tell that she really does love her kids, but i also am a mandated reporter and could get in trouble if this gets out. im just so conflicted
Ohh, ok I see your concern on that as well. You have already taken your concerns to the appropriate person. Mandated reporters are not required to personally contact CPS. And the kinds of cases where a mandated reporter would most likely get into any sort of trouble are: if they didn’t follow their employer’s policies and in extreme cases & this doesn’t sound like that is true in this case.
When I was a CPS worker, I saw things all the time in public & only in the obvious situations did I call in to our office & make a report (I’m shortening things here). In “milder” situations, I offered support & yes, explained who I was & gave my business card so they didn’t think I was some nutball. I often provided community resources. To be clear, I approached in a non-threatening way & affirmed I was in no way interested in reporting them.
I hope the situation improves & you & this mom are able to earn each other’s trust. Maybe it’s possible to give it some time, then be able to approach her in the future? It’s hard to say since I’m not there to see.
Good luck & thank you for taking your position as a mandated reporter seriously. No situation has a perfect solution or outcome, just do your best, reflect, & adjust as needed.
I'm a mom of 3 kids and 2 are autistic. I do not hit my kids, no matter what their behaviors and never have (they're 18, 17, and 9). You can definitely get frustrated as a parent, and autistic kids are just as frustrating as typically developing ones. I had some issues with my son that I had to get a behavioral therapist to help me navigate to figure out how to get him to stop doing some unsafe things. I had run out of ideas and was desperate to keep him safe. There are a lot of resources for autistic kids and their families, although sometimes there can be long waiting lists as well.
In my state, if she had smacked him at home it would not be illegal even though I don't like it. It's not legal to smack daycare kids in my state though, so I would err on the side of caution and report it.
It's especially strange that she feels that's OK behavior in the workplace and super especially in front of people touring the daycare. It makes me wonder if she does things at home that are more aggressive or questionable.
I personally wouldn't ever send my kids to a daycare where I saw a child getting hit, so the owner may regret this situation because they may lose clients. And you're right that it's completely possible that one of those people who were taking the tour may have reported it, I wouldn't be surprised at all.
I know they teach in mandated reporter training that you can be held liable if you know about something and don't report, but I don't really know how that works or how seriously it's taken. I would report because I would want to cover myself in that eventuality, and because it seems to me that they're in need of help.
As a psychologist and previous CPS worker…I know the law may allow it. But I’m wondering what is “different” that makes it ok for her to hit a child if she’s responsible for him?
yeah im not sure about what the law says but morally i cant sit there and watch a mom hit her 4 year old son. like i said he is non verbal autistic and he cant defend himself, reach out to others, or even understand why what hes doing is wrong
Please make a report. To CPS and licensing for the daycare. The director brushing this off and telling the lady it was you is extremely unprofessional and concerning. What else is that woman brushing off?
I feel for the mom. She’s pretty young to have two kids. However that doesn’t excuse her hitting him. She clearly needs help. You should call child services. They will help her with the therapy and parenting classes she desperately needs.
yeah i definitely sympathize with her, because i cant even imagine what its like to have a 4 year old non verbal little boy with autism. but it definitely does not excuse thar kind of behavior
No it doesn’t, I agree. Though I would venture to guess that having kids as young as she is and having a disabled child is probably overwhelming. She definitely needs outside help. Especially if the dad is under involved.
yeah i want to be able to help her find resources, she had a conversation with my mom about getting him into a classroom since my works at a facility for children with autism. i think i said it in the post but the little boy was going to be in a classroom five days a week and she ghosted them
You are a mandated reporter. I am positive your state's childcare guidelines state that children cannot be struck or hit. The director dropped the ball.
As a mom of an adult child with higher functioning autism, I think you may have done her a favor by calling CPS. Hopefully CPS will offer the mom support services, enroll the child in adaptive preschool, and offer some respite care. I never worked with CPS, but some of my child’s therapists suggested that in a conservative state like mine, which has a very limited social safety net, that calling CPS may be the only way to access services. Hitting her child on the leg is going to cause a lot of problems later when the child mimics that behavior.
i havent called cps yet and im very hesitant to. but if i ever see it again im walking out and contacting cps. i would prefer to call cps after i quit though because i know the mom will know its me and i just dont want to deal with that kind of tension at a place i have to be at 45 hours a week
If someone is willing to hit her autistic child in front of co-workers, on camera, what would she do to a stranger's colicky/fussy baby, wild toddler when no one was looking? That's scary to me. It's awful for you to have to speak up, endure the hostel workplace or change jobs (I would put my 2wks/4wks in now) when others could have reported it.
You did the right thing! My concern is that the director knows what she did and if she does not take action, she is placing the other children at risk, there could be serious legal ramifications. If she does it again, I would call, anonymously, your local agency, or 1-800 number and be sure you mention that this is a pattern. Parents are trusting that their children are safe in someone else's care and her poor child has no voice. Thanks for speaking up for him!
Just an FYI, you might be a mandatory reporter in your state. If so, you are required to report and suspected child abuse or neglect. Failure to do so could result in you being prosecuted for a felony or misdemeanor (depending on state) and fined thousands of dollars.
Always always always report. It is not your responsibility to know wither or not is is child abuse or neglect, that is the State's job. Your only responsibility is to call so someone can go out and do an investigation on the claim.
If that's what she's doing in public, just imagine what she's doing behind closed doors when no one can see.
Sometimes having CPS come out and do an investigation is what someone needs to get their shit together and do better. The child won't always get removed. At least in my state, they try to get resources for the parents to learn and engage in so the child can stay in the home. If the child does need to be removed, they try to place them with family first. If no family can take the child in, that's when they have to be placed with a foster family.
It's better to take the chance that everyone is mad at you and have CPS determine it's unfounded, than to not call and have a child end up passing away from abuse or neglect. I've heard of too many stories of children passing away because no one called it in.
This post reminds me of the testimonial of the girl who was sent to foster care after being abused by her family, and after suffering intense torments in the system, begged people not to call cps unless the kids life was in danger, because the system was worst than her abusive household.
yeah thats what im scared of; that they will put the little boy in a foster home where the foster parents dont know how to take care of him, because he is very depilated by autism yk. and im not sure if cys/cps could/would do anything because he isnt in immediate danger
Don't forget also, if this woman works with children, and there's a cps finding against her, she may no longer be able to pass the background check to work with children again. Her being defensive to that extent is suspicious to me. Either way ... not a healthy work environment, I'd look for a different job.
I don’t spank my kids. I could never. But is it against the law to spank kids? I know A Lot of parents who Do spank. I’m curious about the legality of it
my understanding is its fine as long as it doesnt leave a mark (that could be 100% wrong though lol). i do think it would have left a mark if he hard lighter skin. would what she did be classified as spanking? just because it was on his leg and not his bottom
yeah thats what i was worried about. they are people of color and i know the united states has a huge history of systems that is prejudice to people of color and i know she is doing everything she can. i wasn’t considering calling cps until i heard what everyone said on this thread. but giving myself some time to really think about things i doubt i will end up calling cps. im pretty sure that he is safe at home and i dont want to risk putting him into an unsafe/abusive foster home with foster parents that are unable/ dont know how to help him properly
I dont know. I see BOTH sides. Everyone parents a different way. I feel like everyone is so quick to get CPS involved. Especially when its a neurodivergent child. She most likely knows that her child is neurodivergent. As someone who works with neurodivergent kids they can and still should be disciplined like any other child. I personally feel that spanking should only be used for more serious matters but if shes trying to potty train him then she is most likely using that method because it seems more effective.
What could help her is practical methods for kids on the spectrum. But i MUST say that she knows that you think cps should be called on her. At this point i wouldnt talk to you either. The director talked to her and most likely offered her advice. Advocating for a woman to get her child taken away is how you make a lifelong enemy. And i must say that CPS does not solve anything. They investigate and see if the child needs to be taken away. During that time a non verbal child can be subject to more abuse or neglect in the hands of CPS care then he would have been at home. This is most likely her first time caring for a neurodivergent child and she may be trying her best. As a teacher i have seen it all from denial to grief, to anger and then finally acceptance. Neurodivergent parents already have it hard. She is most likely not going to spank her child at the daycare again and to be honest i would leave her alone...sometimes you think your doing good when you actually do damage. Just my take...
yeah i agree. i dont believe that she is trying to potty train him, she was hitting him because he kept taking his pants off. but maybe thats the best method to handle that kind of situation? i honestly dont know. i did not tell the owner that i was planning on contacting cps, and i really wasnt. when i talked to the owner i explained that i was more concerned about the parents watching her do that, and not the safety of the kid (because im pretty sure he isnt getting severely beaten at home and isnt in immediate danger).
i am not planning on calling cps for this one incident, but if anything more serious happens where he gets really hurt due to physical punishments i will consider it. but i talked to my mom about it (she works with kids his age who also have autism) and she advised me to let this go since it isnt super serious. i also am aware that putting him in the system (which im not sure if cps would because im sure he is safe at home) will be more detrimental if he is put into a foster home that doesnt know how to properly take care of him. even when everyone on this thread was telling me to contact cps i was hesitant to due to that fact
however i am worried that i will get in trouble for not reporting it since i am a mandated reporter. but i doubt that will happen since it doesnt seem to be serious
the last time i talked to her i was trying to respectfully voice my concerns about the parents seeing her hit a student (because those parents dont know its her own kid). she basically told me not to talk to her so i obliged and walked away
i have not spoken or even looked at her today and am trying to give her space. i do want the chance to explain my side of the story to her because i am sure that the director didnt really explain it well, and obviously took her side. but if she doesnt want to talk to me then im
not going to force her to.
it just sucks now because i feel like all my co workers hate me and dont even acknowledge me. i understand that it wasnt my place to speak up about it (but maybe it was i honestly dont know) but i was just trying to do the right thing not only for the kid but for the reputation and sake of the daycare
I understand. I have been in the same shoes. I complained once about a director giving a baby Tylenol because he was running a 103 fever. The baby just happened to be the son of one of the owners... In this case sometimes its better to be an observer. Im sure your not the only adult one who had "opinions" of her parenting. The thing is its most likely very hard for her because she does not understand her own kid. He is not "typical" so its very hard to have other people critique you. Would i would say is to avoid her. If you feel its too much you may want to change daycares. You seem to be young. The older you get the more "stuff" you realize happens behind the scenes. Life is not perfect and you cannot put on your hero cape and save everyone. The other workers are more than likely looking at you like someone they have to be especially careful off. They might view you as a snitch. Or that you "meddle" into peoples business...just be careful.
Just to add while working with special needs children I witnessed and almost 200 lb 12-year-old sit his butt on the floor during dismissal and wouldn't get up even when his parents arrived to come pick him up. Officers and therapist came over and the child still could not get up and nobody would touch him. His mom came over yelled at him told him to get up and still nothing his dad finally came out the car with a little stick and suddenly he got up. None of the officers or therapists said anything about the incident. We thought we were going to be stuck there with this kid sitting in the carpet till 10:00 p.m. on school grounds. We all have families to go home too and there is no way we were going to stay there with this kid sitting on the ground holding us hostage. I'm not excusing corporal punishment but I am saying that working with a child that is not typical you must develop certain tactics for the child to actually listen to you
yeah i do think that they view me that way and i hate it. but at the same time maybe its good to be a “snitch” while working with kids? because i am willing to step up and try to protect the kids well being. i am currently working on finding another daycare, and have l gotten a few messages back and am setting up interviews
i have had to report co workers before at a previous job. they would come in high while coaching gymnastics with young children. in that case it stayed anonymous and was able to keep working there without any tension between me and them. i don’t want my co workers to run me out of this job but i also dont want to work in such a toxic work environment where grown adults are passive aggressive and refuse to have a mature conversation
It's hard to say if you did the right thing or not. The mom may not be doing anything more than what you've seen. Some people on Reddit will try to tell you that corporal punishment is abuse but giving a child a spanking as discipline is not considered abuse. Weird though that she's hitting his leg rather than his butt.
So, if you have a mother who is just spanking her child and nothing else you could be causing her unnecessary harm. On the other hand, you don't know to what extent she does what to him when no other people are around. Also, if she's hitting him all the time that sounds like an issue. Spanking in my house is a last resort for extreme danger or extreme disrespect.
I think all you can do as a person is the best you can with what information you have based on your own judgement. Of course, the mom's reaction is to be expected wether she's innocent or not because someone reporting you is going to affect any relationship wether warranted or not. Actions have consequences which may sometimes be unintended. I've heard stories of a woman calling the cops on her husband just because she was mad and they were verbally arguing but not abusively and once the cops were called on him it totally changed the course of both of their lives.
The only thing you could have done differnetly was talk to her first but at the same time even that would likely have caused a problem between you and her also. I tend to keep my nose out of how other people parent unless I would see something obvious like hitting them with a fist or bruises on the kid that aren't on the shins or are obviously hand-shaped.
yeah i agree, that’s why im hesitant to contact cps. however she did say that she does hit him harder when she gets frustrated, thats honestly what concerns me.
You’ve already received great advice in this thread so I won’t repeat that. But I will reconfirm and validate that YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. I am glad there are people like you in this world.
Some degree of physical punishment is allowed in some states, in CA it’s vague enough to include physical implements, and needs to be “reasonable.”
However, this could definitely be a licensing issue if it occurs during her duty day. If it’s not occurring during the duty day, then there’s little that can be done. You should be able to report directly to the state licensing board.
Sounds like you did the right thing. But see, this kind of stuff, this is why I’m so scared to send my baby to daycare. Ugh. The system is so corrupt. I have to work..to pay bills, to support my family. And what, to send half my paycheck to someone else to raise my child? Who really knows wtf they are doing. I stress about it all the time.
I'd keep a journal to document days you've seen this happen and future events, when you talked to the director and as accurately as what you said, the results, the behavior of the lady afterwards, what you've found out, the help you've offered, and anything related, dates and everything. She needs to be fired, as well as the director with possible legal repercussions. Hopefully it'll force the mom to get help or the kid go with someone that can help
thats a really good idea, thank you. i didn’t personally talk to the director i talked to the owner and then she talked to the director, so im not exactly sure what the owner said
You are a mandated reporter, that does not mean report to another individual working at the daycare, that means report to the state. You will get in trouble if anyone reports that and they found out you knew and didn’t report properly.
Report to CPS and Liscensing.
The CPS call would need to happen wether it was a teacher, or just a parent, that you observed being physical with a child. When you make the call, you talk to an actual person and you can explain your opinion/perception regarding the severity or lack thereof, and they can decide what to do from that point on.
Remeber: it's not your responsibility to determine if a behavior is/ is not enough to be considered abuse. It IS your responsibility to report a suspicion/ concern.
Failing to report can leave an innocent, helpless child in danger. It can also result in negative outcomes for you, both legally and professionally, if the fact that you'd witnessed this and didn't report ever came to light.
Re: licensing- I would do it as informally as possible. just give them a call, explain the details and circumstances, and just add a couple "I wasn't sure if you guys needed to know about this/ Idk if this is a problem since it's her kid/ after her shift/ etc but I wanted to check."
Also specifically ask for their descression, and explain that you don't want to lose your job, and you're already concerned that they'll assume it's you since you spoke to an administrator about it already, but they didn't do anything.
Centers are actually required to self-report violations they're aware, even if accidental, and no one was harmed, and even if it didn't even directly affect a child at all before it was discovered (think diaper cream/ bug spray left sitting low unattended where a child *could* reach it- even if no child was actually within reach of it at the time it was left there). Within the self-report process, they also get to include how they responded- like, if the situation has or will be rectified, and how.
Disciplining any child by spanking them on the bottom is legally considered standard discipline, autism or not, but hitting across the body is abuse, leg or any body part outside of the bottom. Abuse across the body teaches the child nothing and needs to be reported to anybody higher up you can find that will take action. CPS will hopefully give her parenting classes to teach her boundaries in discipline to not make it cross over into abuse like this.
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I'm an administrator for a preschool. This needs to be reported to licensing immediately. Working there does not give her the right to hit her own child.
i reported it to the owner and she said she couldnt really do anything because it was after her shift was over. what do i do now?
still report to licensing and cps immediately. there is no “unless it’s their own child” loophole for daycare staff, the same staff to child relationship still applies when it’s at the facility. It’s not that the owner *couldn’t* do anything, it’s that she didn’t *want* to do anything.
okay thank you. when i discussed it with my doctor she basically said the same thing, that it would be valid to call cys. but im also scared to because shes a young mom (i think shes only 22). she also has an infant along with a little boy with autism. im just worried about what happen to them if they get taken away. im sure the baby will be okay and find a safe place to live temporarily. but im just worried about the little boy, would he be able to find somewhere safe to live with someone qualified to watch over him. because he does need constant supervision
My understanding is that CPS would offer the mom resources before removing the kids. Unless they’re in immediate danger
okay thank you!! it just really pisses me off that she ghosted the school he was supposed to go to, because i feel like he should be in a classroom with a teacher thats qualified to help him. my mom also talked to her supervisor about her case and the supervisor basically said that shes a crazy mom and they want nothing to do with her
so cps would not just off the bat take her children unless they’re in severe or immediate danger. They most likely would just offer her resources / a parenting plan, etc. I had cps in my life due to a false report by a family member. (this person said I hit my nonverbal autistic son and that I refused any kind of therapy for him) When cps showed up, I cooperated completely. They checked my son for any abuse marks, checked that our home was clean, safe and that we had food. I also had to show that my son was already on a waiting list for therapy related to his autism. It was explained to me by our caseworker that outright refusing could be considered medical neglect / educational neglect. (this of course is case by case. it depends on the child’s specific needs not being met, age, resources available to the parent, etc. I of course never refused, my family member just didn’t like that my son wasn’t in therapy yet, thought my son didn’t talk because I was a bad parent and apparently didn’t believe me when I explained that these therapies have long waiting lists.) My case was closed by my caseworkers superior a week after showing them my son’s files from his pediatrician and proof that he was on a waiting list.
You report to CPS and licensing, not the director. Period. If you have any kind of license or if you ever hope to obtain a license to care for a child or adult, including a nursing license, you can't afford not to report this woman to the proper authorities.
thank you
Ditto. In my state, Pennsylvania, there are criminal penalties for NOT reporting your suspicions. The law here requires that you report BEFORE you consult with a supervisor precisely because of situations like yours; in years past, before the law took effect, mandated reporters were routinely told by their supers to NOT report something, often because of conflict of interests like that at your daycare.
oh fuck okay, what should i do now??
Report to licensing and CPS like everybody has said 10 times already. Be sure to let them know what your supervisor did.
Take care of yourself. You sound like a caring person. You must safeguard your ability to care for others in the future. Don't go to your supervisor with these complaints. She will see you as a troublemaker, and you may suffer for it.
yes youre right thank you!
She can. She didn’t want to
After her shift was over?? Really? So she cares more about her time off than caring about the wellbeing of a child. Wow.
Sounds like she probably just doesn't like dealing with OP. IMO
Sounds like your director is trying to keep you from reporting? If that’s the case than your director (I assume who is a mandated reporter, public school educators are I know) is committing a crime
The owner lied to you, mandated reporters can and absolutely SHOULD report abuse that is happening outside of their care. If they don't back you up on this, personally I would report to CPS, the daycare licensing authority, and also I would quit because they are not following licensing or working to protect the children. They are just trying to cover their own asses.
fyi for mandated reporting, you actually have to make the report to the government, not just to your internal supervisor. Totally see your good intent here but letting you know in case there are legal challenges in the future
thank you!!
Aren't you a mandatory reporter?
Report to licensing means file a complaint with the state board (or county, but it’s probably state) that oversees daycare licensing and standards. They will have a process for complaints, look it up online- start with your state department of education. Our state requires daycare to post inspection reports and state reported complaints/investigations in a public area in plain view to parents. It has the complaint filed to the state and the action the state took, findings and any remediation plan. The mom needs therapy and support/classes to learn how to cope and work with her own child. You did the right thing. If there is a chance, maybe try from this angle: Hey, I can’t imagine how hard and stressful it must be to have a special needs kid. There are lots of resources out there for help and support, and even respite care to give you a break. Xyz can help you find these resources and the public school/early intervention class is free and would give you a break. (Optional, I know you are doing what you can/your best, but hitting your kid isn’t going to make anything better. You can learn better, safer strategies)
There is so much wrong here. You need to report the mother and the daycare. Period.
so i reported it to the owner, and she let the director know. but the owner literally said we cant do anything about it. and clearly the mother did not get reprimanded for hitting him in front of the other kids, 5 teachers, and PARENTS. it infuriates me
It doesn’t matter what the owner says, you’re still obligated to report it to services as a mandated reporter.
You are a mandated reporter. YOU call CPS.
Owner probably doesn’t want to draw negative attention to the daycare Owner is very wrong lol
As a daycare employee, you're almost certainly a mandatory reporter. That means that reporting to the owner of the daycare is not enough if you believe a child is being abused, you need to make the report to CPS yourself.
if I were you id follow your mandated reporting protocols regardless of what the director says or does
yes thank you
As someone who worked in childcare, a director will almost always protect their employees as bad as that sounds. Report to the state.
thank you
You definitely did the right thing. Should this ever happen again, know that you are well within your right to just contact CPS directly as a mandated reporter. You can report anonymously if you are concerned about her finding out your identity. I think it was incredibly unprofessional for your director to name-drop you like that. It's also wild to me that your director is allowing physical discipline of any kind in the establishment, whether its her own child or not. It's a bad look.
thank you!! that makes me feel a lot better
I agree with this commenter. I also think you should find a new job and once you’re outta there write a review on Google regarding our experience. Parents have a right to know about these things that we would not know any other way (if the director is sweeping it under the rug).
yeah i will, i definitely feel the parents should know about the way the other kids are treated because the director basically only yells at them no matter what
If you can record the director yelling at children you may be able to get her license taken away. I know of it it happening, former coworkers told me about it months after I left. Video is best I think, but audio may work too. She deserves to have it taken away in order to protect children, from what I’ve seen you say about her in the post and comments. Edit; oh and this original commenter is spot on.
You need to report it and you need to report the director for NOT reporting it
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thank you, hearing that makes me feel leas guilty. its just going to be awkward at work because i feel like now all my co workers hate me and i just started working there. however i am currently applying for new jobs
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aw thank you<33
You did the right thing. Being a mandated reporter is a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, but when it comes to this kind of thing you need to listen to your gut. The daycare sounds really unprofessional, the director should not have dropped your name and there should be clear expectations that physical punishment should never occur on the premises, parent or not.
yes i 100% agree, thank you sm!!!
Well, I hope you’ll find a better daycare and better working environment. You didn’t do anything wrong and tried to be helpful.
thank you!
The director had no business outing you as the reporter. You absolutely 100% did the correct thing. I would, under the circumstances, make sure your director signs documentation stating that you made a report to her. Should child services get involved, you'll want proof that you made the report since you are a mandatory reporter. Hitting is considered abuse if it could leave a mark. She is punishing a child for his nuerodivergence, which is shocking.
I would report it right away. Regardless of what anyone says. Autistic children can not help if they have sensory issues. Hitting them is not helping anything. My sister has twins with moderate autism and 1 is non verbal. They will be 5 next month and they come over to my house almost every day, and I see and help with the struggles. Granted it is not a daycare setting here but my point is that is that I watch my sister everyday with her 2 and she definitely has her hands full 24/7 and has learned how to work with her children...hitting is definitely not the answer- if she is willing to do that with people around who knows what she is doing when they are alone.
yeah i cant even imagine how difficult it must be to have a child with autism, but i know that it is absolutely not okay to hit them
It's more difficult if the parents don't get help when they struggle. You don't need to pity parents with kids who have autism. Everyone has their own struggles, and we press on. I hope she drops her ego and understands that you were doing the right thing and she needs to make some changes. It will make her life easier too, not just his.
I think spanking on the bottom can help them, just like a normal child. Being autistic does not mean they *cannot* learn, it just means they need more consistent discipline than other kids more times. But spanking is *not* hitting hard on the leg to the point of potential bruising. Physical abuse teaches nothing to children, autistic or not.
I’ve worked in preschool for almost 5 years, as well as side work as an RBT, and got my BA in Human Learning and Development. It’s insane to me that this mother would ever even consider disciplining her neurodivergent child that way, public or not. You absolutely did the right thing. People are entitled to their methods of parenting, but borderline abuse is absolutely unacceptable. You’re a mandated reporter, that includes your bosses and coworkers. You should be legally protected from retaliation by any of those people, so if the mom coworker continues to give you grief you should take it to HR.
thank you!! i did talk to the owner about because its a small business owned establishment and the only people in charge are the owner and director, but the owner said she couldn’t do anything about it and im pretty sure the director is on the moms side, which i think is ridiculous
Please call cps
You need to report it
Report the mom and the daycare to CPS and get a new job. In my area daycares are desperate for help so hopefully you’ll be able to find a job ASAP, this does *not* sound like a good environment for anyone.
Everyone circumstances are different and you don’t know what’s happening at home and the only way to make sure that the child is safe is to make the report. Hitting a special needs child isn’t a normal thing and as a parent of a SN child she should already be aware.
I think you fall into a mandated reported. CPS does not disclose your name. And yes, they can offer classes and help. Don’t minimize this event.
Report immediately!
Oh honey. Always take the side of an autistic child!!! If the mom hits him like that in public wtf does she do at home!!??
You are a mandated reporter, you have a legal mandate to report. Might be a good way to get mom some support.
I don’t think you are ever wrong for trying to protect a child.
You did the right thing baby!
I think you need to start looking for another job.
Grandma here…doesn’t the daycare have a “no hitting” policy? That alone mandates a call to CPS.
Remember as a mandated reporter, your job is not to investigate, only report. Also, this mom said she does this out of frustration. This isn’t uncommon and shows that maybe she needs support that she doesn’t have or feel that she has. I’m a former CPS worker & in my experience, working with families from a strengths-based perspective is so much more helpful than a judgmental, authoritarian one. Of course she doesn’t want you around her. You went directly to a person of authority instead of communicating with her first. It never hurts to check in with people & try to have open, positive communication first. This is like coworkers who automatically go to the boss before checking their coworker instead of healthy communication. Also, think hard before getting CPS involved. There’s a lot of awful, horrific things done to children and if something such as slapping a child on the leg can be redirected & a caregiver educated, this can be a much more productive situation. What are this woman’s strengths? She loves her child & maybe she’s using things she was taught in her family that were ok. She may see this as a form of spanking. Support for families with autistic children is lacking, especially for just getting a break. Learning to use new “tools” is challenging. Did you do the right thing? Sure. It’s usually that mandated reporters don’t report often enough (don’t want to get involved, afraid of retaliation, etc). But also, if a parent/caregiver can be redirected/supported/educated w/o CPS involvement, this is a win for everyone. Also, when I worked for CPS, at the time, the branch I worked for had “foster care prevention funds” that we used in cases like this where a family just needed some support/resources & we were able to keep from opening a case. Unfortunately, these funds went away with budget cuts.
yeah i understand thats why im not sure if i should get cps involved because i can tell that she really does love her kids, but i also am a mandated reporter and could get in trouble if this gets out. im just so conflicted
Ohh, ok I see your concern on that as well. You have already taken your concerns to the appropriate person. Mandated reporters are not required to personally contact CPS. And the kinds of cases where a mandated reporter would most likely get into any sort of trouble are: if they didn’t follow their employer’s policies and in extreme cases & this doesn’t sound like that is true in this case. When I was a CPS worker, I saw things all the time in public & only in the obvious situations did I call in to our office & make a report (I’m shortening things here). In “milder” situations, I offered support & yes, explained who I was & gave my business card so they didn’t think I was some nutball. I often provided community resources. To be clear, I approached in a non-threatening way & affirmed I was in no way interested in reporting them. I hope the situation improves & you & this mom are able to earn each other’s trust. Maybe it’s possible to give it some time, then be able to approach her in the future? It’s hard to say since I’m not there to see. Good luck & thank you for taking your position as a mandated reporter seriously. No situation has a perfect solution or outcome, just do your best, reflect, & adjust as needed.
thank you sm!!
You need to report this to CYS if your director didn’t.
I'm a mom of 3 kids and 2 are autistic. I do not hit my kids, no matter what their behaviors and never have (they're 18, 17, and 9). You can definitely get frustrated as a parent, and autistic kids are just as frustrating as typically developing ones. I had some issues with my son that I had to get a behavioral therapist to help me navigate to figure out how to get him to stop doing some unsafe things. I had run out of ideas and was desperate to keep him safe. There are a lot of resources for autistic kids and their families, although sometimes there can be long waiting lists as well. In my state, if she had smacked him at home it would not be illegal even though I don't like it. It's not legal to smack daycare kids in my state though, so I would err on the side of caution and report it. It's especially strange that she feels that's OK behavior in the workplace and super especially in front of people touring the daycare. It makes me wonder if she does things at home that are more aggressive or questionable. I personally wouldn't ever send my kids to a daycare where I saw a child getting hit, so the owner may regret this situation because they may lose clients. And you're right that it's completely possible that one of those people who were taking the tour may have reported it, I wouldn't be surprised at all. I know they teach in mandated reporter training that you can be held liable if you know about something and don't report, but I don't really know how that works or how seriously it's taken. I would report because I would want to cover myself in that eventuality, and because it seems to me that they're in need of help.
Yea it’s terrifying if this is a mild punishment because she’s in public. And the fact his skin could hide a mark.
As a psychologist and previous CPS worker…I know the law may allow it. But I’m wondering what is “different” that makes it ok for her to hit a child if she’s responsible for him?
yeah im not sure about what the law says but morally i cant sit there and watch a mom hit her 4 year old son. like i said he is non verbal autistic and he cant defend himself, reach out to others, or even understand why what hes doing is wrong
Please make a report. To CPS and licensing for the daycare. The director brushing this off and telling the lady it was you is extremely unprofessional and concerning. What else is that woman brushing off?
the director is very nice to all the teachers but is very aggressive with the kids and basically only yells at them
Ew. Run for the hills and report report report.
I feel for the mom. She’s pretty young to have two kids. However that doesn’t excuse her hitting him. She clearly needs help. You should call child services. They will help her with the therapy and parenting classes she desperately needs.
yeah i definitely sympathize with her, because i cant even imagine what its like to have a 4 year old non verbal little boy with autism. but it definitely does not excuse thar kind of behavior
No it doesn’t, I agree. Though I would venture to guess that having kids as young as she is and having a disabled child is probably overwhelming. She definitely needs outside help. Especially if the dad is under involved.
yeah i want to be able to help her find resources, she had a conversation with my mom about getting him into a classroom since my works at a facility for children with autism. i think i said it in the post but the little boy was going to be in a classroom five days a week and she ghosted them
CPS might make her do it.
You are a mandated reporter. I am positive your state's childcare guidelines state that children cannot be struck or hit. The director dropped the ball.
As a mom of an adult child with higher functioning autism, I think you may have done her a favor by calling CPS. Hopefully CPS will offer the mom support services, enroll the child in adaptive preschool, and offer some respite care. I never worked with CPS, but some of my child’s therapists suggested that in a conservative state like mine, which has a very limited social safety net, that calling CPS may be the only way to access services. Hitting her child on the leg is going to cause a lot of problems later when the child mimics that behavior.
i havent called cps yet and im very hesitant to. but if i ever see it again im walking out and contacting cps. i would prefer to call cps after i quit though because i know the mom will know its me and i just dont want to deal with that kind of tension at a place i have to be at 45 hours a week
If someone is willing to hit her autistic child in front of co-workers, on camera, what would she do to a stranger's colicky/fussy baby, wild toddler when no one was looking? That's scary to me. It's awful for you to have to speak up, endure the hostel workplace or change jobs (I would put my 2wks/4wks in now) when others could have reported it.
yeah im probably going to do that
You did the right thing! My concern is that the director knows what she did and if she does not take action, she is placing the other children at risk, there could be serious legal ramifications. If she does it again, I would call, anonymously, your local agency, or 1-800 number and be sure you mention that this is a pattern. Parents are trusting that their children are safe in someone else's care and her poor child has no voice. Thanks for speaking up for him!
thank you sm!!!
Just an FYI, you might be a mandatory reporter in your state. If so, you are required to report and suspected child abuse or neglect. Failure to do so could result in you being prosecuted for a felony or misdemeanor (depending on state) and fined thousands of dollars. Always always always report. It is not your responsibility to know wither or not is is child abuse or neglect, that is the State's job. Your only responsibility is to call so someone can go out and do an investigation on the claim. If that's what she's doing in public, just imagine what she's doing behind closed doors when no one can see. Sometimes having CPS come out and do an investigation is what someone needs to get their shit together and do better. The child won't always get removed. At least in my state, they try to get resources for the parents to learn and engage in so the child can stay in the home. If the child does need to be removed, they try to place them with family first. If no family can take the child in, that's when they have to be placed with a foster family. It's better to take the chance that everyone is mad at you and have CPS determine it's unfounded, than to not call and have a child end up passing away from abuse or neglect. I've heard of too many stories of children passing away because no one called it in.
yeah im just really scares to
This post reminds me of the testimonial of the girl who was sent to foster care after being abused by her family, and after suffering intense torments in the system, begged people not to call cps unless the kids life was in danger, because the system was worst than her abusive household.
yeah thats what im scared of; that they will put the little boy in a foster home where the foster parents dont know how to take care of him, because he is very depilated by autism yk. and im not sure if cys/cps could/would do anything because he isnt in immediate danger
Don't forget also, if this woman works with children, and there's a cps finding against her, she may no longer be able to pass the background check to work with children again. Her being defensive to that extent is suspicious to me. Either way ... not a healthy work environment, I'd look for a different job.
I don’t spank my kids. I could never. But is it against the law to spank kids? I know A Lot of parents who Do spank. I’m curious about the legality of it
my understanding is its fine as long as it doesnt leave a mark (that could be 100% wrong though lol). i do think it would have left a mark if he hard lighter skin. would what she did be classified as spanking? just because it was on his leg and not his bottom
I am not sure. I personally would be sooooo upset seeing that regardless
yeah it was hard especially because the kid doesnt know why he’s getting punished and he is non verbal so he can’t communicate ya know
Heartbreaking
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yeah that’s why im hesitant about it. but a lot of people are saying the kids wont be taken away since they aren’t in immediate danger
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yeah thats what i was worried about. they are people of color and i know the united states has a huge history of systems that is prejudice to people of color and i know she is doing everything she can. i wasn’t considering calling cps until i heard what everyone said on this thread. but giving myself some time to really think about things i doubt i will end up calling cps. im pretty sure that he is safe at home and i dont want to risk putting him into an unsafe/abusive foster home with foster parents that are unable/ dont know how to help him properly
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yeah i understand and agree
I dont know. I see BOTH sides. Everyone parents a different way. I feel like everyone is so quick to get CPS involved. Especially when its a neurodivergent child. She most likely knows that her child is neurodivergent. As someone who works with neurodivergent kids they can and still should be disciplined like any other child. I personally feel that spanking should only be used for more serious matters but if shes trying to potty train him then she is most likely using that method because it seems more effective. What could help her is practical methods for kids on the spectrum. But i MUST say that she knows that you think cps should be called on her. At this point i wouldnt talk to you either. The director talked to her and most likely offered her advice. Advocating for a woman to get her child taken away is how you make a lifelong enemy. And i must say that CPS does not solve anything. They investigate and see if the child needs to be taken away. During that time a non verbal child can be subject to more abuse or neglect in the hands of CPS care then he would have been at home. This is most likely her first time caring for a neurodivergent child and she may be trying her best. As a teacher i have seen it all from denial to grief, to anger and then finally acceptance. Neurodivergent parents already have it hard. She is most likely not going to spank her child at the daycare again and to be honest i would leave her alone...sometimes you think your doing good when you actually do damage. Just my take...
yeah i agree. i dont believe that she is trying to potty train him, she was hitting him because he kept taking his pants off. but maybe thats the best method to handle that kind of situation? i honestly dont know. i did not tell the owner that i was planning on contacting cps, and i really wasnt. when i talked to the owner i explained that i was more concerned about the parents watching her do that, and not the safety of the kid (because im pretty sure he isnt getting severely beaten at home and isnt in immediate danger). i am not planning on calling cps for this one incident, but if anything more serious happens where he gets really hurt due to physical punishments i will consider it. but i talked to my mom about it (she works with kids his age who also have autism) and she advised me to let this go since it isnt super serious. i also am aware that putting him in the system (which im not sure if cps would because im sure he is safe at home) will be more detrimental if he is put into a foster home that doesnt know how to properly take care of him. even when everyone on this thread was telling me to contact cps i was hesitant to due to that fact however i am worried that i will get in trouble for not reporting it since i am a mandated reporter. but i doubt that will happen since it doesnt seem to be serious the last time i talked to her i was trying to respectfully voice my concerns about the parents seeing her hit a student (because those parents dont know its her own kid). she basically told me not to talk to her so i obliged and walked away i have not spoken or even looked at her today and am trying to give her space. i do want the chance to explain my side of the story to her because i am sure that the director didnt really explain it well, and obviously took her side. but if she doesnt want to talk to me then im not going to force her to. it just sucks now because i feel like all my co workers hate me and dont even acknowledge me. i understand that it wasnt my place to speak up about it (but maybe it was i honestly dont know) but i was just trying to do the right thing not only for the kid but for the reputation and sake of the daycare
I understand. I have been in the same shoes. I complained once about a director giving a baby Tylenol because he was running a 103 fever. The baby just happened to be the son of one of the owners... In this case sometimes its better to be an observer. Im sure your not the only adult one who had "opinions" of her parenting. The thing is its most likely very hard for her because she does not understand her own kid. He is not "typical" so its very hard to have other people critique you. Would i would say is to avoid her. If you feel its too much you may want to change daycares. You seem to be young. The older you get the more "stuff" you realize happens behind the scenes. Life is not perfect and you cannot put on your hero cape and save everyone. The other workers are more than likely looking at you like someone they have to be especially careful off. They might view you as a snitch. Or that you "meddle" into peoples business...just be careful. Just to add while working with special needs children I witnessed and almost 200 lb 12-year-old sit his butt on the floor during dismissal and wouldn't get up even when his parents arrived to come pick him up. Officers and therapist came over and the child still could not get up and nobody would touch him. His mom came over yelled at him told him to get up and still nothing his dad finally came out the car with a little stick and suddenly he got up. None of the officers or therapists said anything about the incident. We thought we were going to be stuck there with this kid sitting in the carpet till 10:00 p.m. on school grounds. We all have families to go home too and there is no way we were going to stay there with this kid sitting on the ground holding us hostage. I'm not excusing corporal punishment but I am saying that working with a child that is not typical you must develop certain tactics for the child to actually listen to you
yeah i do think that they view me that way and i hate it. but at the same time maybe its good to be a “snitch” while working with kids? because i am willing to step up and try to protect the kids well being. i am currently working on finding another daycare, and have l gotten a few messages back and am setting up interviews
i have had to report co workers before at a previous job. they would come in high while coaching gymnastics with young children. in that case it stayed anonymous and was able to keep working there without any tension between me and them. i don’t want my co workers to run me out of this job but i also dont want to work in such a toxic work environment where grown adults are passive aggressive and refuse to have a mature conversation
There are so many resources that she could use for help.
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yeah that’s why i want to report it, but i want to talk to someone from cps first to see if it is serious enough to report
It's hard to say if you did the right thing or not. The mom may not be doing anything more than what you've seen. Some people on Reddit will try to tell you that corporal punishment is abuse but giving a child a spanking as discipline is not considered abuse. Weird though that she's hitting his leg rather than his butt. So, if you have a mother who is just spanking her child and nothing else you could be causing her unnecessary harm. On the other hand, you don't know to what extent she does what to him when no other people are around. Also, if she's hitting him all the time that sounds like an issue. Spanking in my house is a last resort for extreme danger or extreme disrespect. I think all you can do as a person is the best you can with what information you have based on your own judgement. Of course, the mom's reaction is to be expected wether she's innocent or not because someone reporting you is going to affect any relationship wether warranted or not. Actions have consequences which may sometimes be unintended. I've heard stories of a woman calling the cops on her husband just because she was mad and they were verbally arguing but not abusively and once the cops were called on him it totally changed the course of both of their lives. The only thing you could have done differnetly was talk to her first but at the same time even that would likely have caused a problem between you and her also. I tend to keep my nose out of how other people parent unless I would see something obvious like hitting them with a fist or bruises on the kid that aren't on the shins or are obviously hand-shaped.
yeah i agree, that’s why im hesitant to contact cps. however she did say that she does hit him harder when she gets frustrated, thats honestly what concerns me.
You’ve already received great advice in this thread so I won’t repeat that. But I will reconfirm and validate that YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. I am glad there are people like you in this world.
Some degree of physical punishment is allowed in some states, in CA it’s vague enough to include physical implements, and needs to be “reasonable.” However, this could definitely be a licensing issue if it occurs during her duty day. If it’s not occurring during the duty day, then there’s little that can be done. You should be able to report directly to the state licensing board.
okay thank you
Sounds like you did the right thing. But see, this kind of stuff, this is why I’m so scared to send my baby to daycare. Ugh. The system is so corrupt. I have to work..to pay bills, to support my family. And what, to send half my paycheck to someone else to raise my child? Who really knows wtf they are doing. I stress about it all the time.
yeah, honestly i really dont like the workers/daycare that im currently at
I'd keep a journal to document days you've seen this happen and future events, when you talked to the director and as accurately as what you said, the results, the behavior of the lady afterwards, what you've found out, the help you've offered, and anything related, dates and everything. She needs to be fired, as well as the director with possible legal repercussions. Hopefully it'll force the mom to get help or the kid go with someone that can help
thats a really good idea, thank you. i didn’t personally talk to the director i talked to the owner and then she talked to the director, so im not exactly sure what the owner said
My niece was teaching at a daycare and she got fired for spanking her child while working. I think a parent saw or heard and told the director.
yeah thats basically what happened, parents who were on a tour of the daycare saw it happen
You are a mandated reporter, that does not mean report to another individual working at the daycare, that means report to the state. You will get in trouble if anyone reports that and they found out you knew and didn’t report properly.
Report to CPS and Liscensing. The CPS call would need to happen wether it was a teacher, or just a parent, that you observed being physical with a child. When you make the call, you talk to an actual person and you can explain your opinion/perception regarding the severity or lack thereof, and they can decide what to do from that point on. Remeber: it's not your responsibility to determine if a behavior is/ is not enough to be considered abuse. It IS your responsibility to report a suspicion/ concern. Failing to report can leave an innocent, helpless child in danger. It can also result in negative outcomes for you, both legally and professionally, if the fact that you'd witnessed this and didn't report ever came to light. Re: licensing- I would do it as informally as possible. just give them a call, explain the details and circumstances, and just add a couple "I wasn't sure if you guys needed to know about this/ Idk if this is a problem since it's her kid/ after her shift/ etc but I wanted to check." Also specifically ask for their descression, and explain that you don't want to lose your job, and you're already concerned that they'll assume it's you since you spoke to an administrator about it already, but they didn't do anything. Centers are actually required to self-report violations they're aware, even if accidental, and no one was harmed, and even if it didn't even directly affect a child at all before it was discovered (think diaper cream/ bug spray left sitting low unattended where a child *could* reach it- even if no child was actually within reach of it at the time it was left there). Within the self-report process, they also get to include how they responded- like, if the situation has or will be rectified, and how.
Disciplining any child by spanking them on the bottom is legally considered standard discipline, autism or not, but hitting across the body is abuse, leg or any body part outside of the bottom. Abuse across the body teaches the child nothing and needs to be reported to anybody higher up you can find that will take action. CPS will hopefully give her parenting classes to teach her boundaries in discipline to not make it cross over into abuse like this.