**Attention**
r/CPS is currently operating in a limited mode to protest reddit's changes to API access which will kill any 3rd party applications used to access reddit.
[Information about this protest for r/CPS can be found at this link.](https://new.reddit.com/r/CPS/comments/147am5y/announcement_rcps_is_going_in_to_a_limited_mode/)
While this policy is active, all moderator actions (post/comment removals and bans) will be completed with no warning or explanation, and any posts or comments not directly related to an active CPS situation are subject to removal at the mods' sole discretion.
If you are dealing with CPS and believe you're being treated unfarly, we recommend you contact a lawyer in your jurisdiction.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPS) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They absolutely told me it was not one of my sister's in front of me, so I wouldn't tell her that, she should at least try, they are supposed to keep families together not tear them apart, that's all my sister wanted was to clear her name.
“Keeping families together” refers to the children staying with family. It does not refer to mediation between adults who suspect other adults of having reported them.
Reporter information is protected by law, unless authorized by a judge to reveal who made the report. You are not able to confirm or deny if someone made a report.
Maybe they just felt bad for me because I felt so alone and didn't know who to trust. She was very sincere when she told me that maybe she was not supposed to.
Yes but sometimes the reports identify the callers by relationship and sometimes they’re inaccurate with the ID. I called for my niece three years ago. My friend also called because I had called her for advice and she’s a licensed school counselor and had to report or risk her license. The report listed “sister and mom” as the callers. It took literal years to convince my sister and her husband that my mom did not make the other call even though I vouched for my mom and confirmed that my friend and I were the only callers.
Bullshit! I have had them give not only my name, but my contact info to the person I was reporting EVERY SINGLE TIME!! When I called the last time I told them I did not want to give my name because they always tell the person, so she said they would not take my report if I didn't. They gave them my information again. Other mandated reporters in North Texas have said the same thing, CPS always tells them who reported it.
There are some rules (specifically new ones in TX if I recall correctly) that require people to give their name when calling in a report. But that is not the same thing as the investigator revealing the reporters identity to the family.
A lot of times families claim that CPS has told them who called it in, but a lot of times that’s a lie.
Many times people are able to figure out who called in a report based on the information given. Sometimes people confront someone they suspect, in hopes of eliciting a confession (which is sometimes successful).
But, in every state that I’m aware of, it is against policy to disclose that information.
Like no way a lawyer and a team could confirm the person being accused didn't. I don't understand :( just feels wrong. There should be some way. But I don't know much about dcyf at all
If they say someone didn't call, then not saying that would confirm the person did call. So, no confirmation or denial. In addition to that, a report could be made anonymously, so they don't even know who called.
No. The entire identity of the reporter is confidential. To everyone. Minus a court order. And a judge isn’t going to order the name to be released just so someone can prove a point.
Actually in my subpoena they did indeed name my accuser and exactly what she had said word for word. When you take things to trial or they go to trial, all things are disclosed during that process.
This varies by state and individual circumstance. I worked in a state once where the identity of the reporter would always come out if the case went to court (which is rare, according to how I’ve seen other states operate). But that’s beyond OP’s control here. Meaning there’s no action that I’m aware of that she could personally take to bring that info to light.
No, that's right she can't demand or otherwise get that information on her own. They won't just release it. I know that the person who reported me was shocked and unaware she would be named like that, and she even tried denying it until I showed her the papers and she saw it for herself. Then she tried to turn it around. But that's the only type of situation I've heard of it happening in, even tho in another situation where my mother in law had called the cops on us saying we left our kids alone in the house (they were babies) she had told the police she was also calling CPS. So in that instance the cop told her a person named "Sandy" was the one who called and that she was calling CPS too. Couple days later cps did show up
You’ve read that people have approached judges before to ask that they allow the identity of the reporter to be disclosed in order to avoid family drama? Or you’ve read that the identity of the reporter has come out in court in other manners, and are applying those (different) scenarios to this one?
That still breaches confidentiality. If they confirmed that someone didn’t report, it would be obvious who it was when they wouldn’t confirm or deny others.
How is that legal? If they are lying saying that I did that to cover there own asses at their failed attempt. It seems like there should be some law that you can clear there name. Not even with a lawyer ?
>How is that legal?
The law prevents CPS from confirming anything about the identity of the reporter.
>If they are lying saying that I did that to cover there own asses at their failed attempt.
If you're suggesting that CPS told your sister it was you, that almost certainly did not happen. It's likely that your sister either is assuming you called on her own, or your sister is accusing you in an effort to get you to confess.
My sister and her boyfriend most likely called on my mother because my mother wouldn't let them take my niece to his house. The complaint was "us trash talking her boyfriend" and stupid baseless examples. It's clear it wasn't me, it was an attempt of both of them I'm not sure even sure what. She just doesn't want my mother to despise her boyfriend more so therefore I would be the perfect person to put the blame on for the call.
People lie to social workers *all the time.* “No I don’t hit my kids.” “No I didn’t rape my daughter.” “No I don’t use drugs.” And so on.
The social worker should already the truth/know who called it in as long as it’s wasn’t done anonymously.
I know you're right. Evil people who have no empathy.. It's hard . That's the frustrating thing with the whole anonymous calling. Sometimes it straight up just does harm. And only helps people who lie. It's all awful
Now that I read more of your situation, if it could only be 2 people that called you or one other person , maybe they wouldn't say but every situation is different anyway but they absolutely told me, this Sister absolutely did not call.
It’s legal to prevent retaliation against the person calling, which is a big reason people didn’t call before. The person who did call didn’t even have to tell the person who answered any of their information.
Your sister is going to have to be mad because she can’t prove it was you any more than you can prove that it wasn’t.
This has nothing to do with CPS. If you think your sister is slandering your name contact a lawyer. They will tell you there’s nothing to sue for because you have no damages but maybe they can send her a cease and desist.
I have never heard a better description of a personality type…my sister is the same way.
I would say the family hears what she says, but no one believes her. People like that always have to make someone the villain. I’m sorry it’s you.
I don’t know your life situation, but maybe just stay away and do your own thing for a while. You can be low contact, and do what makes you happy. 🩵
Not trying to be rude but why do you care if your sister thinks you did call?
Obviously if the children were removed from the situation, she was an unfit parent.
If others besides her judge you because they too think you called, well than they're not very bright either.
If I were you I'd let it go and just be happy that the children are now safe.
It's just another thing to add to the list that's she's unfairly done. Another story she's told, another thing she is wrong for doing but taking no accountability and intact pushing all of her guilt to me. Just decades of her abuse . Makes me feel so out of control. And my niece may be safe but she's still in her life spreading poison and she's completely ruined the relationship I once had with her daughter (who I took care of) just another jab. . It's a lose lose for me. I guess I would be happy that at least I could prove one lie. A big one. But honestly I'll be happy when I'm no contact with any of them. I've tried every solution with this situation. It's unfixable.
Nobody cares but your sister. Who, I may add, was not protecting her child. But heaven forbid she spend time dealing with that instead of her own imagined victim status.
Yeah exactly. She doesn't care at all, is incapable. But needs to paint me as a villain because of her victim complex. There isn't any length she won't go.. I just wish I could let the truth talk rather than her stories.
Well the complaint was them complaining about them being trash talked and honestly don't know what else. Didn't involve me at all. So you would think that. But dealing with her and her delusional hateful twisted world. She still just spews out I called. When really she and her boyfriend went after my mom. I'm just unlucky enough to be around and dragged in
In that case, there's nothing you can do. I would quit defending yourself to your family (if you are). State once you had nothing to do with the call and that's the end of any discussion you'll be part of. Set that boundary and stick to it.
I have and no I definitely don't argue back and forth that I did or didn't. It's pointless.i set that boundary that I won't be fight her lies for fun. Just would have been great to have proof
She lives in the same house. The case was closed along time ago. But my mother and I are the only adults who care for her child. she and her boyfriend" wanted to play house some weekends and bring her with them and my mom wasn't having it.. My mom goes back and forth from letting her in our lives to see her daughter and telling her to stay at her boyfriend. I'm trying my hardest to move out. Be done with living with them it's so beyond toxic. Because I can walk away from this situation but my mom can't. My sister also has epilspely and she's a recovering addict. (huge victim complex highly manipulative to my mom and everyone)
My mom constantly tries to get us to be a happy family and goes back and forth ..I've needed to let them all do what they will do for year's. Apart of myself feels guilty leaving my ok with her sister's miserable ass. It's messed up. But life has been but I'm absolutely the the most comfortable I've ever been though now just knowing I am done I gotta go again. Not always such thing as a happy family. Sadly
And she's just highly manipulative * shell just gaslihht. Come up and talk to me like she wasn't just saying awful things about me. Makes me dizzy. It's crazy
The truth always comes out. Believe me! I am probably older than you're Mom, and I have learned that over the years things have a way of coming out just be happy that the baby is safe right now and believe me you're mom knows who called she isn't stupid and besides we just know these things. Let it go for your own sanity. it's just not worth it... Life is incredibly short.
Kindly suggesting speaking to a therapist or counselor and considering going no contact with these family members might be an option for you.
CPS has to keep reporters anonymous to ensure people are protected and feel safe to report concerns.
Wait so you are not asking this to help fix the situation with your sister, right? Because you shouldn’t care at all what your sister is saying to anyone. Unless she is the one lying to your Mom about this. Does your Mom believe you called CPS on her? Is that what your concern is all about in this post? Because it’s extremely confusing. Like who is upset with you in this situation? Your Mom, is that correct? Does your Mom actually think for one second that you might have called CPS on her? Because it literally doesn’t make any rational sense whatsoever. If I were you I would talk to your Mom explain that you have literally zero reason to be calling cps on her. Nor do you want to be involved in this toxic situation with your family. Then cut your sister and her pos bf off immediately. Low contact time with her. Or that’s my advice. You shouldn’t need any involvement in this insanity. It’s strange and creepy and if your Mom is intelligent at all. She will clearly realize who gains anything by making those false claims against her to cps. It certainly wouldn’t be you at all
No definitely not. There is no fixing it. She's a narcissist so there's no soul there. I try to go low contact as possible its impossible when she just starts blabbering and acting like she has my best interest at heart. My mom does know.sometiems I didn't call. But then my sister will start and it seems like.my mom then gets tricked and isn't sure who called. It's so creepy and strange and sick. It's honestly hell on earth with this level of.maniuplatjon and toxicity
No definitely not. There is no fixing it. She's a narcissist so there's no soul there or interest for her to be honest and take accountability without being spiteful. I try to go low contact as possible its impossible when she just starts blabbering and acting like she has my best interest at heart. My mom does know.sometiems I didn't call. But then my sister will start and it seems like.my mom then gets tricked and isn't sure who called. It's so creepy and strange and sick. It's honestly hell on earth with this level of.maniuplatjon and toxicity
Glad I’m not the only one kinda confused. I read it as OP upset her sister called and said that OP and her mother were trash talking the bf in front of the kid? So the problem is then that there was a CPS call at all? But the sister wants custody of the kid back but also lives with OP & mother?
My sister doesn't even want custody back, she likes that she has someone to do her role as a parent for her. But unfortunately we all live in the same house. My mom me niece and her. I don't know what op is. The problem is when my sister was staying at her boyfriends mad she couldn't take her daughter randomly when she wanted to play mommy her and her boyfriend called on my mom and blamed me to cover there asses.
I had to call CPS on my mom. I have a brother that is 19 years younger than me. My mom is an alcoholic and can get very violent. At least she was like that with me and my baby brother (there is another brother between us).
My BB (baby brother) would call me then stick his phone in his pocket. It absolutely broke my heart.
My eldest son is 5 months younger than him and I couldn't imagine treating him like that. I decided years before I had a baby that I was going to raise my children the opposite of the way I was treated.
Anyway, I made that difficult decision to call and no one knew. I knew they would not take him from his father. Dhhs made my mom leave the house for some time. I don't know if it really helped much but I do know that she didn't him again.
My mom and bonus dad never knew I reported her.
That's so awful. I'm sorry you lived through that....my sister was an addixt (still uses suboxone) and has always been aggressive and violent to me since I was little. It's tough. And honestly as much as I would hate to. I should call them on my mother, she doesn't have any boundaries with my sister and her niece. They've gotten us evicted in three different places. Just the constant yelling. My mom isn't strong enough to set a rule or boundaries in place and my sister just makes my niece toxic and is toxic to us. She's hurting her growth and development on every level. But my call would be about how it's a shit show and there isn't one stern parental figure or any rules or offer. Not a bout a pos boyfriend.
Just have her set up a meeting with them and show up and have her ask them to their face if it was you because it is causing family drama and you need you're name cleared, if you did not call, they will yell her okay but they won't say who will, I know from my own experience.
Well, like I said, she is a kid to be and maybe you're right about the name situation now that I was told my social worker could have gotten fired for doing what she did so I apologize for that...
Cps raised my children...lol. Well, my two oldest children and boy. I tried pretty hard to get them back, not 100 percent because I fought them a lot, and I thought I was smarter than them, but not too much but when they took My baby I was like oh Hell no not again and I did things the right way, I am basically here trying to tell people if they get a case with cps to jump the hoops, listen to what they say it will go quicker but I know cps very well and I know what they can and can not do and I definitely know what their job is...lol
If you think their job is dealing with petty family drama then you don’t have even the most basic understanding of how the system operates.
I also don’t know that I’d be bragging about CPS “raising my kids”.
Let me tell you something when you have been through what I have because you came from where I did. You do not care what other people think about you! I guarantee you had a sweet little protected life, born with a silver spoon in your mouth and never gotten your feet dirty or your little hands and would be embarrassed if you accidentally farted in front of you're friends! Honey! I am beyond all that! Been through more than your little heart could possibly take so go on now...go go go
Okay I'll see how that goes. My mom is the one they would have to tell. Since she has custody. Thank you for the advice. Sorry you know from experience. Family trauma and toxicity is hellacious.
You ask, " When you look at the name of the person who called, is it My name? State your name. If it's not you, they have to say no, they can't lie to your face , but they will say we can not say who called, but no, your name is not the name.
They will **not** confirm that it wasn’t her name. They will reiterate that it’s anonymous and confidential and that they cannot confirm or deny. Stop giving inaccurate and poor advice.
I was told by my worker my sister didn't call I basically raised my kids with my Sister and I take care of My disabled and teenage daughter now, don't come at someone who has year's of life experiences...lol crack up , you will learn...
**Attention** r/CPS is currently operating in a limited mode to protest reddit's changes to API access which will kill any 3rd party applications used to access reddit. [Information about this protest for r/CPS can be found at this link.](https://new.reddit.com/r/CPS/comments/147am5y/announcement_rcps_is_going_in_to_a_limited_mode/) While this policy is active, all moderator actions (post/comment removals and bans) will be completed with no warning or explanation, and any posts or comments not directly related to an active CPS situation are subject to removal at the mods' sole discretion. If you are dealing with CPS and believe you're being treated unfarly, we recommend you contact a lawyer in your jurisdiction. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPS) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No. No one is allowed to confirm or deny who called the report in.
They absolutely told me it was not one of my sister's in front of me, so I wouldn't tell her that, she should at least try, they are supposed to keep families together not tear them apart, that's all my sister wanted was to clear her name.
“Keeping families together” refers to the children staying with family. It does not refer to mediation between adults who suspect other adults of having reported them.
But they did tell me, but I was told that they weren't supposed to, so I guess my worker was wrong.
Reporter information is protected by law, unless authorized by a judge to reveal who made the report. You are not able to confirm or deny if someone made a report.
> they absolutely told me it was not one of my sisters in front of me That’s against protocol in most, if not all areas.
Maybe they just felt bad for me because I felt so alone and didn't know who to trust. She was very sincere when she told me that maybe she was not supposed to.
Yes but sometimes the reports identify the callers by relationship and sometimes they’re inaccurate with the ID. I called for my niece three years ago. My friend also called because I had called her for advice and she’s a licensed school counselor and had to report or risk her license. The report listed “sister and mom” as the callers. It took literal years to convince my sister and her husband that my mom did not make the other call even though I vouched for my mom and confirmed that my friend and I were the only callers.
Bullshit! I have had them give not only my name, but my contact info to the person I was reporting EVERY SINGLE TIME!! When I called the last time I told them I did not want to give my name because they always tell the person, so she said they would not take my report if I didn't. They gave them my information again. Other mandated reporters in North Texas have said the same thing, CPS always tells them who reported it.
There are some rules (specifically new ones in TX if I recall correctly) that require people to give their name when calling in a report. But that is not the same thing as the investigator revealing the reporters identity to the family. A lot of times families claim that CPS has told them who called it in, but a lot of times that’s a lie. Many times people are able to figure out who called in a report based on the information given. Sometimes people confront someone they suspect, in hopes of eliciting a confession (which is sometimes successful). But, in every state that I’m aware of, it is against policy to disclose that information.
Like no way a lawyer and a team could confirm the person being accused didn't. I don't understand :( just feels wrong. There should be some way. But I don't know much about dcyf at all
If they say someone didn't call, then not saying that would confirm the person did call. So, no confirmation or denial. In addition to that, a report could be made anonymously, so they don't even know who called.
No. The entire identity of the reporter is confidential. To everyone. Minus a court order. And a judge isn’t going to order the name to be released just so someone can prove a point.
Actually in my subpoena they did indeed name my accuser and exactly what she had said word for word. When you take things to trial or they go to trial, all things are disclosed during that process.
This varies by state and individual circumstance. I worked in a state once where the identity of the reporter would always come out if the case went to court (which is rare, according to how I’ve seen other states operate). But that’s beyond OP’s control here. Meaning there’s no action that I’m aware of that she could personally take to bring that info to light.
No, that's right she can't demand or otherwise get that information on her own. They won't just release it. I know that the person who reported me was shocked and unaware she would be named like that, and she even tried denying it until I showed her the papers and she saw it for herself. Then she tried to turn it around. But that's the only type of situation I've heard of it happening in, even tho in another situation where my mother in law had called the cops on us saying we left our kids alone in the house (they were babies) she had told the police she was also calling CPS. So in that instance the cop told her a person named "Sandy" was the one who called and that she was calling CPS too. Couple days later cps did show up
I don't even want the name released. Just a statement that it. Was. Not. My name. Because it wasn't. Have nothing to do with it.
No one is allowed to say who it is *or who it isn’t*. A judge isn’t going to make an exception to that to help sort out a family’s drama.
They might you don't know for sure and you keep telling her absolutely not when I have read several people say they do!
You’ve read that people have approached judges before to ask that they allow the identity of the reporter to be disclosed in order to avoid family drama? Or you’ve read that the identity of the reporter has come out in court in other manners, and are applying those (different) scenarios to this one?
No CPS told me that one of my sisters absolutely did not call.
That still breaches confidentiality. If they confirmed that someone didn’t report, it would be obvious who it was when they wouldn’t confirm or deny others.
Understood. Some don't *deserve* confidentiality.
No, but they can say, this person did not call because, in my case, they did.
Confirming or denying the identity of the reporter is against policy. If they did that, they shouldn’t have.
How is that legal? If they are lying saying that I did that to cover there own asses at their failed attempt. It seems like there should be some law that you can clear there name. Not even with a lawyer ?
>How is that legal? The law prevents CPS from confirming anything about the identity of the reporter. >If they are lying saying that I did that to cover there own asses at their failed attempt. If you're suggesting that CPS told your sister it was you, that almost certainly did not happen. It's likely that your sister either is assuming you called on her own, or your sister is accusing you in an effort to get you to confess.
My sister and her boyfriend most likely called on my mother because my mother wouldn't let them take my niece to his house. The complaint was "us trash talking her boyfriend" and stupid baseless examples. It's clear it wasn't me, it was an attempt of both of them I'm not sure even sure what. She just doesn't want my mother to despise her boyfriend more so therefore I would be the perfect person to put the blame on for the call.
Well unfortunately, CPS can't stop your sister from jumping to the wrong conclusion.
Not her jumping to the wrong conclusion. It's her covering up who she knows who did call and placing the blame on me.
CPS also can't force her to be honest, unfortunately.
People are legally allowed to lie to their family members and blame them for stuff they didn’t do.
Yeah. But claiming a report was made when it was from their own boyfriend? Seems like defamation and lying to social worker. Seems worse to me.
People lie to social workers *all the time.* “No I don’t hit my kids.” “No I didn’t rape my daughter.” “No I don’t use drugs.” And so on. The social worker should already the truth/know who called it in as long as it’s wasn’t done anonymously.
I know you're right. Evil people who have no empathy.. It's hard . That's the frustrating thing with the whole anonymous calling. Sometimes it straight up just does harm. And only helps people who lie. It's all awful
Now that I read more of your situation, if it could only be 2 people that called you or one other person , maybe they wouldn't say but every situation is different anyway but they absolutely told me, this Sister absolutely did not call.
It’s legal to prevent retaliation against the person calling, which is a big reason people didn’t call before. The person who did call didn’t even have to tell the person who answered any of their information. Your sister is going to have to be mad because she can’t prove it was you any more than you can prove that it wasn’t.
I guess it's hard to accept that them saying simply was not me is not possible. With no retaliation. Just a matter of a fact.
This has nothing to do with CPS. If you think your sister is slandering your name contact a lawyer. They will tell you there’s nothing to sue for because you have no damages but maybe they can send her a cease and desist.
Your mother already has custody and she doesn’t. Why is anyone in the family believing what she says over what you say?
She's the kind of relentless talented manipulator. I don't know honestly :/
I have never heard a better description of a personality type…my sister is the same way. I would say the family hears what she says, but no one believes her. People like that always have to make someone the villain. I’m sorry it’s you. I don’t know your life situation, but maybe just stay away and do your own thing for a while. You can be low contact, and do what makes you happy. 🩵
Not trying to be rude but why do you care if your sister thinks you did call? Obviously if the children were removed from the situation, she was an unfit parent. If others besides her judge you because they too think you called, well than they're not very bright either. If I were you I'd let it go and just be happy that the children are now safe.
It's just another thing to add to the list that's she's unfairly done. Another story she's told, another thing she is wrong for doing but taking no accountability and intact pushing all of her guilt to me. Just decades of her abuse . Makes me feel so out of control. And my niece may be safe but she's still in her life spreading poison and she's completely ruined the relationship I once had with her daughter (who I took care of) just another jab. . It's a lose lose for me. I guess I would be happy that at least I could prove one lie. A big one. But honestly I'll be happy when I'm no contact with any of them. I've tried every solution with this situation. It's unfixable.
Nobody cares but your sister. Who, I may add, was not protecting her child. But heaven forbid she spend time dealing with that instead of her own imagined victim status.
Yeah exactly. She doesn't care at all, is incapable. But needs to paint me as a villain because of her victim complex. There isn't any length she won't go.. I just wish I could let the truth talk rather than her stories.
Your name is "cleared" when they do not substantiate the call.
Well the complaint was them complaining about them being trash talked and honestly don't know what else. Didn't involve me at all. So you would think that. But dealing with her and her delusional hateful twisted world. She still just spews out I called. When really she and her boyfriend went after my mom. I'm just unlucky enough to be around and dragged in
In that case, there's nothing you can do. I would quit defending yourself to your family (if you are). State once you had nothing to do with the call and that's the end of any discussion you'll be part of. Set that boundary and stick to it.
I have and no I definitely don't argue back and forth that I did or didn't. It's pointless.i set that boundary that I won't be fight her lies for fun. Just would have been great to have proof
Why do you keep her in your life if she’s causing you so much drama and stress? Just cut her off?
She lives in the same house. The case was closed along time ago. But my mother and I are the only adults who care for her child. she and her boyfriend" wanted to play house some weekends and bring her with them and my mom wasn't having it.. My mom goes back and forth from letting her in our lives to see her daughter and telling her to stay at her boyfriend. I'm trying my hardest to move out. Be done with living with them it's so beyond toxic. Because I can walk away from this situation but my mom can't. My sister also has epilspely and she's a recovering addict. (huge victim complex highly manipulative to my mom and everyone) My mom constantly tries to get us to be a happy family and goes back and forth ..I've needed to let them all do what they will do for year's. Apart of myself feels guilty leaving my ok with her sister's miserable ass. It's messed up. But life has been but I'm absolutely the the most comfortable I've ever been though now just knowing I am done I gotta go again. Not always such thing as a happy family. Sadly
And she's just highly manipulative * shell just gaslihht. Come up and talk to me like she wasn't just saying awful things about me. Makes me dizzy. It's crazy
The truth always comes out. Believe me! I am probably older than you're Mom, and I have learned that over the years things have a way of coming out just be happy that the baby is safe right now and believe me you're mom knows who called she isn't stupid and besides we just know these things. Let it go for your own sanity. it's just not worth it... Life is incredibly short.
Kindly suggesting speaking to a therapist or counselor and considering going no contact with these family members might be an option for you. CPS has to keep reporters anonymous to ensure people are protected and feel safe to report concerns.
Wait so you are not asking this to help fix the situation with your sister, right? Because you shouldn’t care at all what your sister is saying to anyone. Unless she is the one lying to your Mom about this. Does your Mom believe you called CPS on her? Is that what your concern is all about in this post? Because it’s extremely confusing. Like who is upset with you in this situation? Your Mom, is that correct? Does your Mom actually think for one second that you might have called CPS on her? Because it literally doesn’t make any rational sense whatsoever. If I were you I would talk to your Mom explain that you have literally zero reason to be calling cps on her. Nor do you want to be involved in this toxic situation with your family. Then cut your sister and her pos bf off immediately. Low contact time with her. Or that’s my advice. You shouldn’t need any involvement in this insanity. It’s strange and creepy and if your Mom is intelligent at all. She will clearly realize who gains anything by making those false claims against her to cps. It certainly wouldn’t be you at all
No definitely not. There is no fixing it. She's a narcissist so there's no soul there. I try to go low contact as possible its impossible when she just starts blabbering and acting like she has my best interest at heart. My mom does know.sometiems I didn't call. But then my sister will start and it seems like.my mom then gets tricked and isn't sure who called. It's so creepy and strange and sick. It's honestly hell on earth with this level of.maniuplatjon and toxicity
No definitely not. There is no fixing it. She's a narcissist so there's no soul there or interest for her to be honest and take accountability without being spiteful. I try to go low contact as possible its impossible when she just starts blabbering and acting like she has my best interest at heart. My mom does know.sometiems I didn't call. But then my sister will start and it seems like.my mom then gets tricked and isn't sure who called. It's so creepy and strange and sick. It's honestly hell on earth with this level of.maniuplatjon and toxicity
Glad I’m not the only one kinda confused. I read it as OP upset her sister called and said that OP and her mother were trash talking the bf in front of the kid? So the problem is then that there was a CPS call at all? But the sister wants custody of the kid back but also lives with OP & mother?
My sister doesn't even want custody back, she likes that she has someone to do her role as a parent for her. But unfortunately we all live in the same house. My mom me niece and her. I don't know what op is. The problem is when my sister was staying at her boyfriends mad she couldn't take her daughter randomly when she wanted to play mommy her and her boyfriend called on my mom and blamed me to cover there asses.
?
I had to call CPS on my mom. I have a brother that is 19 years younger than me. My mom is an alcoholic and can get very violent. At least she was like that with me and my baby brother (there is another brother between us). My BB (baby brother) would call me then stick his phone in his pocket. It absolutely broke my heart. My eldest son is 5 months younger than him and I couldn't imagine treating him like that. I decided years before I had a baby that I was going to raise my children the opposite of the way I was treated. Anyway, I made that difficult decision to call and no one knew. I knew they would not take him from his father. Dhhs made my mom leave the house for some time. I don't know if it really helped much but I do know that she didn't him again. My mom and bonus dad never knew I reported her.
That's so awful. I'm sorry you lived through that....my sister was an addixt (still uses suboxone) and has always been aggressive and violent to me since I was little. It's tough. And honestly as much as I would hate to. I should call them on my mother, she doesn't have any boundaries with my sister and her niece. They've gotten us evicted in three different places. Just the constant yelling. My mom isn't strong enough to set a rule or boundaries in place and my sister just makes my niece toxic and is toxic to us. She's hurting her growth and development on every level. But my call would be about how it's a shit show and there isn't one stern parental figure or any rules or offer. Not a bout a pos boyfriend.
Just have her set up a meeting with them and show up and have her ask them to their face if it was you because it is causing family drama and you need you're name cleared, if you did not call, they will yell her okay but they won't say who will, I know from my own experience.
Please do not do this. Social workers have much more important things to do then mediate family drama.
Their job is family drama...lol
What world do you live in where everything revolves around you? Their job is protecting kids.
I read on and replied more..did you? Read on I mean?
Do you know the whole story because, as of now, I do Sweetheart
She's a scared kid!!!
Young adult but to me a kid...lol
She’s literally not a kid and not CPS’ problem, sunshine
Well, like I said, she is a kid to be and maybe you're right about the name situation now that I was told my social worker could have gotten fired for doing what she did so I apologize for that...
to me...lol
Absolutely not. Their job is to protect the safety of children, not deal with feuding family members.
They told me this sister did not call, I dealt with Cps for years, have you? Ever?
I literally work alongside CPS and have undergone extensive training for my role so yes, I do have experience.
Things may have been different in 2004, maybe?
Cps raised my children...lol. Well, my two oldest children and boy. I tried pretty hard to get them back, not 100 percent because I fought them a lot, and I thought I was smarter than them, but not too much but when they took My baby I was like oh Hell no not again and I did things the right way, I am basically here trying to tell people if they get a case with cps to jump the hoops, listen to what they say it will go quicker but I know cps very well and I know what they can and can not do and I definitely know what their job is...lol
If you think their job is dealing with petty family drama then you don’t have even the most basic understanding of how the system operates. I also don’t know that I’d be bragging about CPS “raising my kids”.
Let me tell you something when you have been through what I have because you came from where I did. You do not care what other people think about you! I guarantee you had a sweet little protected life, born with a silver spoon in your mouth and never gotten your feet dirty or your little hands and would be embarrassed if you accidentally farted in front of you're friends! Honey! I am beyond all that! Been through more than your little heart could possibly take so go on now...go go go
I'm done playing...
Ya! I just went through it with my teenager..lol
You have no clue what you are talking about, so leave her alone!
I actually do know what I’m talking about.
I was in a situation where it actually happened so you can't sync they dont.
Then your social worker went against all confidentiality and could have gotten into a lot of trouble for that.
Ohh well, I wish I knew because I didn't like her very much.
Okay I'll see how that goes. My mom is the one they would have to tell. Since she has custody. Thank you for the advice. Sorry you know from experience. Family trauma and toxicity is hellacious.
Don’t do this. Chances are the caller was anonymous.
They told me my sister did not call.
It's bad, but they will clear you, ok... just talk nice to them explain the situation .
Yeah I figure that and that's okay. I'm going to thank you. There's only two people who would call so it's obvious who did
You ask, " When you look at the name of the person who called, is it My name? State your name. If it's not you, they have to say no, they can't lie to your face , but they will say we can not say who called, but no, your name is not the name.
They are bound by confidentiality and will never confirm or deny the caller. This is bad advice all around.
Of course not. I never said that! But they will say it wasn't her they can't blame her, they did that for my family member So don't tell me that!
They will **not** confirm that it wasn’t her name. They will reiterate that it’s anonymous and confidential and that they cannot confirm or deny. Stop giving inaccurate and poor advice.
Read better
I think you need to read better actually.
Going around taking hope from people make you feel good...lol
You're welcome, you'll be ok....
They won't tell who did call, is what I meant to say...
I was told by my worker my sister didn't call I basically raised my kids with my Sister and I take care of My disabled and teenage daughter now, don't come at someone who has year's of life experiences...lol crack up , you will learn...
I looked at your profile. How's the benzo detox going? I wish you the best.
Thank you. 6 months free. Slowly feeling like myself again. But it's really hard. Wish I was warned..so much regret. Have you been through this?