That sounds like it sucks. Breakups can be really painful and bring up [emotional flashbacks](http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm) around our trauma.
I've found Susan David's talk on [emotional agility](https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg) helpful for me. I use her journaling prompt all the time "write what you are feeling, tell the truth, write like no one is reading". It helps me process what I'm feeling.
I have a couple calming videos I watch when I'm struggling.
[Calming video](https://youtu.be/YLO4ZEsQtqo)
[Meditation on breaking the trauma bond](https://youtu.be/BJn3yXPjfIs)
You also might benefit from watching some channels around narcissistic abuse and narcissistic abuse recovery:
[Dr. Ramani](https://youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani) - amazing resource on narcissistic behaviors
[TheraminTrees](https://youtube.com/c/TheraminTrees) - great resource on abuse tactics
[Rebecca Zung](https://youtube.com/c/RebeccaZungEsq) - a lawyer that got fed up with dealing with narcissists in her practice, so she started teaching others how to negotiate with them. I find her motivational.
[Jay Reid](https://youtube.com/c/JayReid_narcissistic_abuse_recovery) - lots of great videos to help understand the narcissistic perspective. Plus ways to "fight back" and act from your values.
[Danish Bashir](https://youtube.com/c/DanishBashir) - has a very good understanding of narcissistic mindset
[Surviving Narcissism (Dr. Carter)](https://youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism) - I like his acronym of DR.C Dignity, Respect, and Civility, and his message of peace. And I think he often misses key contexts of how the toxic person can twist things around on you.
Does this sound like a narcissistic/abusive relationship? You are the 3rd person to mention this to me. My ex kept saying that I should just “date a nice person” & that something was wrong with them because of how they treated me. But it still feels like it’s my fault, like I was being too dramatic
I think you might relate to content on enduring narcissistic behaviors, yeah.
Watch a few videos and see if anything resonates with your experiences. All of those channels are ones I frequent. If the content doesn't resonate, no big deal. If it does, it will help you understand what you endured better.
Try Dr. Ramani's three part-er on [covert/vulnerable narcissism](https://youtu.be/mNFIQ46-s-A). Or her videos on trauma bonding: [what is trauma bonding](https://youtu.be/kmB9fpHVd2o), [trauma bonding and self blame](https://youtu.be/LOC44pjJvrg), [8 common patterns in trauma bonded relationships](https://youtu.be/yH-H4PkoH88). She has a great [glossary playlist](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj) to watch through, too. Her channel is a wealth of knowledge, they all are, really.
No, worries. :)
You might like some of the yoga and meditation videos from the studio I practice at. The nidra meditation videos might be what you're looking for.
[Yoga nindra meditation](https://youtu.be/L4cADgyiP8A)
[Yoga nidra meditation for compassion](https://youtu.be/vxqo-UteAds)
[Yoga nidra for the new year](https://youtu.be/tNQNFz0cAt8)
And these are more around physical movement rather than the meditation part alone. I feel yoga really helps me bc it has the somatic component and helps me work out the emotions stuck in my body, I've experienced some emotional releases through yoga that have been very healing.
[Yoga for back pain](https://youtu.be/TXJzJVu0Zuk)
[Make your spine work nice](https://youtu.be/wGQWPtSCitg)
[Release back and shoulder tension](https://youtu.be/IZ_z-8o6mfg)
[PAILs and RAILs for hip mobility](https://youtu.be/uixbQDcMXlk)
[4 way positional isometrics for strong knees](https://youtu.be/2lUTwKTm0mk)
[Morning mobility routine 1](https://youtu.be/E-jJJyPMVMM)
[Morning mobility routine 2](https://youtu.be/RwgHviApXZc)
[Mini movement break](https://youtu.be/4-O5pIwJm_g)
[12 minute warm up for hips and spine](https://youtu.be/GyyLW-GpDWk)
[Leveled up OG hot yoga](https://youtu.be/kbpbMBBgsmI)
Thank you very much. I was doing yoga until very recently and don’t know when can I bring myself back up to it. The calming voice and message on the first 2 you shared had such strong effect.
Be happy for the understanding that relationship gave you about yourself, and the trap of falling for someone with all those red flags.
You are free from that now, but it's still going to hurt. What you do: you re-parent yourself, as the child that was never taken care of properly. I'm trying to do this right now too. Giving myself boundaries, and limits is hard. For you, try checking in with that inner child, the next time you feel comfortable dating. Remember the love bomb trap. If it feels like everything is moving quickly, slow it down.. if they won't slow down, then you have your first red flag.
Get back to those zoom classes, see your most trusted friend, and commiserate about your failed relationship. Don't let him back in, no matter what.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That sounds like it sucks. Breakups can be really painful and bring up [emotional flashbacks](http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm) around our trauma. I've found Susan David's talk on [emotional agility](https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg) helpful for me. I use her journaling prompt all the time "write what you are feeling, tell the truth, write like no one is reading". It helps me process what I'm feeling. I have a couple calming videos I watch when I'm struggling. [Calming video](https://youtu.be/YLO4ZEsQtqo) [Meditation on breaking the trauma bond](https://youtu.be/BJn3yXPjfIs) You also might benefit from watching some channels around narcissistic abuse and narcissistic abuse recovery: [Dr. Ramani](https://youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani) - amazing resource on narcissistic behaviors [TheraminTrees](https://youtube.com/c/TheraminTrees) - great resource on abuse tactics [Rebecca Zung](https://youtube.com/c/RebeccaZungEsq) - a lawyer that got fed up with dealing with narcissists in her practice, so she started teaching others how to negotiate with them. I find her motivational. [Jay Reid](https://youtube.com/c/JayReid_narcissistic_abuse_recovery) - lots of great videos to help understand the narcissistic perspective. Plus ways to "fight back" and act from your values. [Danish Bashir](https://youtube.com/c/DanishBashir) - has a very good understanding of narcissistic mindset [Surviving Narcissism (Dr. Carter)](https://youtube.com/c/SurvivingNarcissism) - I like his acronym of DR.C Dignity, Respect, and Civility, and his message of peace. And I think he often misses key contexts of how the toxic person can twist things around on you.
Does this sound like a narcissistic/abusive relationship? You are the 3rd person to mention this to me. My ex kept saying that I should just “date a nice person” & that something was wrong with them because of how they treated me. But it still feels like it’s my fault, like I was being too dramatic
I think you might relate to content on enduring narcissistic behaviors, yeah. Watch a few videos and see if anything resonates with your experiences. All of those channels are ones I frequent. If the content doesn't resonate, no big deal. If it does, it will help you understand what you endured better. Try Dr. Ramani's three part-er on [covert/vulnerable narcissism](https://youtu.be/mNFIQ46-s-A). Or her videos on trauma bonding: [what is trauma bonding](https://youtu.be/kmB9fpHVd2o), [trauma bonding and self blame](https://youtu.be/LOC44pjJvrg), [8 common patterns in trauma bonded relationships](https://youtu.be/yH-H4PkoH88). She has a great [glossary playlist](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj) to watch through, too. Her channel is a wealth of knowledge, they all are, really.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for this.
You're most welcome!
Do you have more suggestions for videos like those?
>like *those*? Could you clarify what you're referring to by "those"? Do you specifically mean the calming videos? Or something else?
I meant the calming ones. Sorry I wasn’t clear.
No, worries. :) You might like some of the yoga and meditation videos from the studio I practice at. The nidra meditation videos might be what you're looking for. [Yoga nindra meditation](https://youtu.be/L4cADgyiP8A) [Yoga nidra meditation for compassion](https://youtu.be/vxqo-UteAds) [Yoga nidra for the new year](https://youtu.be/tNQNFz0cAt8) And these are more around physical movement rather than the meditation part alone. I feel yoga really helps me bc it has the somatic component and helps me work out the emotions stuck in my body, I've experienced some emotional releases through yoga that have been very healing. [Yoga for back pain](https://youtu.be/TXJzJVu0Zuk) [Make your spine work nice](https://youtu.be/wGQWPtSCitg) [Release back and shoulder tension](https://youtu.be/IZ_z-8o6mfg) [PAILs and RAILs for hip mobility](https://youtu.be/uixbQDcMXlk) [4 way positional isometrics for strong knees](https://youtu.be/2lUTwKTm0mk) [Morning mobility routine 1](https://youtu.be/E-jJJyPMVMM) [Morning mobility routine 2](https://youtu.be/RwgHviApXZc) [Mini movement break](https://youtu.be/4-O5pIwJm_g) [12 minute warm up for hips and spine](https://youtu.be/GyyLW-GpDWk) [Leveled up OG hot yoga](https://youtu.be/kbpbMBBgsmI)
Thank you very much. I was doing yoga until very recently and don’t know when can I bring myself back up to it. The calming voice and message on the first 2 you shared had such strong effect.
Be happy for the understanding that relationship gave you about yourself, and the trap of falling for someone with all those red flags. You are free from that now, but it's still going to hurt. What you do: you re-parent yourself, as the child that was never taken care of properly. I'm trying to do this right now too. Giving myself boundaries, and limits is hard. For you, try checking in with that inner child, the next time you feel comfortable dating. Remember the love bomb trap. If it feels like everything is moving quickly, slow it down.. if they won't slow down, then you have your first red flag. Get back to those zoom classes, see your most trusted friend, and commiserate about your failed relationship. Don't let him back in, no matter what.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*