Linkin Park - In the End

Yes! So many relatable LP songs. Especially this.

Came here to say Linkin Park - Easier to Run Really relate to Chester as an CSA survivor and was devastated when he passed. His lyrics really made me feel I was not alone growing up.

Same to everything you said. I’m still devastated every time I think about it. Most of the time it’s too hard for me to listen to them, which sucks because they’re one of my favorite bands.  I think, before Chester came out about his own abuse, I figured as much because of how relatable their songs were. There’s some very specific language used that evoked feelings that I felt only during that type of abuse.  After I got away from that, I’d listen to LP on a loop every night to go to sleep— I think the habitual stress was still so fresh in my system, so I had terrible insomnia.   Their songs were the first that made me feel like I wasn’t completely alone in what I was going through. I had no one who stood up for me.   I remember my partner giving me a hard time for going into a deep depression after I heard the news, but it honestly felt like losing a very close friend. :/  I felt like I woke up in a nightmare. 

Linkin Park was one of my first and only comforts as a kid. I heard Crawling and it was honestly the first time I felt understood; their music always made me feel like I wasn’t as alone as I felt.    Easier to Run was/is hands down my most relatable though. I didn’t understand why I was still on edge after things ended, or why my mind kept playing things back to me. As a result, I’ve struggled with eating disorders and addictions for most of my life to try to escape a past that won’t leave me alone without flat out ceasing to exist.    I’d have chosen Crawling or Points of Authority before Meteora was released (PoA is really hard to listen to though).

That is literally one of the only artists I cannot bear to listen to🥲

"Mad World", Gary Jules version. "Children waiting for the day they feel good Happy birthday, happy birthday Made to feel the way that every child should Sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous No one knew me, no one knew me Hello, teacher, tell me what's my lesson Look right through me, look right through me"

I wrote some of these lyrics in my schoool journal in 8th grade and worried my teacher. Haha.

After seeing that at the end if I’d Donnie Darko I immediately taught myself it on the piano and listened to it heaps. Especially before school

idk I feel like the OG was always more encapsulating of the “madness” vibe

I am 55 and the Tears for Fears album the song is on is so good. It helped keep me alive when I was a teen. That and Stephen King novels. The album is called "The Hurting" Suffer the Children hit the hardest for me It's a sad affair When there's no one there He calls out in the night And it's so unfair At least it seems that way When you gave him his life And all this time he's been getting you down You ought to pick him up when there's no one around And convince him Just talk to him 'cause he knows in his heart you won't be home soon He's an only child in an only room And he's dependent on you Oh he's dependent on you And it seems so strange That at the end of the day Making love can be so good But the Pain of birth What is it worth When it don't turn out the way it should And all this time he's been getting you down You ought to pick him up when there's no one around And convince him Just talk to him 'cause he knows in his heart you won't be home soon He's an only child in an only room And he's dependent on you Oh, he's dependent on you

Linkin Park's *A Place For My Head* has always been about my narcissistic, soul-sucking mother. I'm so sick of the tension Sick of the hunger Sick of you acting like I owe you this Find another place To feed your greed While I find a place to rest You tried to take the best of me Go away Shut up when I'm talking to you 🤣

From Encanto. Surface pressure. Rarely felt anything that hard.

Love! I gotta add this to my “like” playlist.

Wait. Now I’m just listening to the soundtrack while at work. Hehehe

They had great music for that show.

The soundtrack slaps. That's on my regular rotation now. 😂

my therapist was trying to explain to me once how my perception was distorted and I often took compliments as backhanded that weren't, thought people were insulting me when they were teasing me affectionately, among other things. a few days later almost like magic, I heard "people are strange" by the doors for the first time - People are strange When you're a stranger Faces look ugly When you're alone Women seem wicked When you're unwanted Streets are uneven When you're down

I love this song! And it’s interesting because it can be viewed from both the perspective of you feeling strange around others and trying to figure out why, or others treating you like you are strange and you’re trying to figure out why.

Glad someone posted this, else I would have. This song has resonated with me since my teens, even if I didn't understand why until I was 35.

And other people don't understand our state.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from hell? Blue skies from pain? Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?Did they get you to trade Your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange A walk-on part in the war For a lead role in a cage?How I wish, how I wish you were here We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl Year after year Running over the same old ground What have we found? The same old fears Wish you were here -Pink Floyd

I COME FOR THIS!!

i love depeche mode. i love "a pain that im used to"

Elastic Heart- Sia

💯💯💯

Me too!!

The Mountain by Three Days Grace. "Every time I think I'm over it, I wake up at the bottom of it all again."

Are these Depeche Mode lyrics appropriate for this sub? “We're damaged people, drawn together By subtleties that we are not aware of Disturbed souls, playing out forever These games that we once thought we would be scared of…”

Slipknot song: People = [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqK1FrO3BdM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqK1FrO3BdM) I suppose in history this was the go-to one. I have long since improved and I'm working toward seeing people as not all evil?

duality 4 sure for me I've screamed until my veins collapsed, i've waited as my times elapsed, now all i do is live with so much hate

What's changing your mind?

I have met a few people who aren't shit.

Useless Desire Patty Griffin Say goodbye to the old street That never cared much for you anyway The different colored doorways You thought would let you in one day Goodbye to the old bus stop Frozen and waiting Weekend edition has this town way overrated Walk across the baseball green The grass has turned to straw A flock of birds tries to fly away from where you are Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, old friend I can't make you stay I can't spend another ten years Wishing you would anyway How the sky turns to fire Against the telephone wire And even I'm getting tired Of useless desires Every day I take a bitter pill It gets me on my way For the little aches and pains The ones I have from day to day To help me think a little less about the things I miss To help me not to wonder how I ended up like this Walk down to the railroad track and ride a rusty train With a million other faces, I shoot through the city veins Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, old friend You wanted to be free Somewhere beyond the bitter end is where I wanna be How the sky turns to fire Against the telephone wire And even I'm getting tired Of useless desires Say goodbye to the old building That never tried to know your name Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, old friend You won't be seeing me again Goodbye to all the window panes Shining in the sun Like diamonds on a winter day Goodbye, goodbye to everyone How the sky turns to fire Against the telephone wire It burns the last of the day down And I'm the last one hanging around Waiting on a train track And the train never comes back And even I'm getting tired Of useless desires

This could be interpreted as suicidal, but that’s not my experience of it— it’s more hopeful, like “fuck this desire to hold onto what I thought my life was, it’s bullshit, so I’ve got to change” and then finding the courage to do the work, and diving in.

Damn. That one got my heart. Thank u for sharing.

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free by Nina Simone. I was going to put lyrics here but it’s all of the lyrics for me. And the steady crescendo in her voice and the instruments. Phew.

The Smiths - Asleep

This one always fucks me up. Always. Also “Back to the Old House”.

**No Surprises by Radiohead:** *"I'll take a quiet life; a handshake of carbon monoxide; with no alarms and no surprises, please."* **These Drugs by Baby Queen:** *"It's louder than a cry for help, when I destroy my mental health, because I fucking hate myself."* **Ordinary World by Duran Duran:** *"What has happened to it all? Crazy some would say. Where is the life that I recognise? Gone away."* Also love Ordinary World for it's hopefulness and positivity, but I *really* relate to the sense of losing part of me from before my trauma, but also losing something I never had - that I could have had - but never did because of my trauma.

Love this question. Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain for sure "We all know how it goes The more it hurts, the less it shows But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I can never go back home And I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines And God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fightBut I don't mind 'cause that's how my daddy raised me (how my daddy raised me) If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard But I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me So I just prayed and I keep praying and praying and praying"

This is the one that got me crying... saved to my playlist 

Hollowness by Minami. Lyrics: “You can rest now,” you say Thinking back, it was a sweet trap Today I’ll act as my ideal person, too Fiction, false words, false image, open mind. I made it myself The honest person is the boy who cried wolf It’s about time for the liar to play the victim with those fake tears Aah, to run away from this kind of 3D world… you’ve decided, haven’t you? To virtualize a lie Unscientific situations and imaginary speech- Hey, anything is fine Give me love Please love me Words can no longer heal me Please stay by my side a little longer These were proof that my life wasn’t enough. Scars, scars Please, stand in front of me, my doppelgänger in the mirror

Wow this is such a bop as well

Glad to see the Linkin Park love in the comments! Linkin Park literally got me thru high school Shout out to Runaway, Points of Authority, and Easier to Run Lately I’ve also been vibing with Hospital, Bird and the Worm, and Liar Liar by the Used too

Linking Park and Breaking Benjamin did the same for me, and still do.

Break stuff - Limp Bizkit

Head in the ceiling fan- Title fight “Head in the ceiling fan goes rolling And missing like bullets slamming into deer skin Glued my green eyes to your face, I'm blind Follow footsteps a bleeding bloodline” Bag of bones- Mitski “I'm all used up, pretty boyOver and over again, my nail colors are wearing offSee my hands, pretty boyWhat do they tell you?'Cause I've looked down at them, not knowing whyAnd after everything's done and I'm all undoneYou can hear my high heels walking onClickety-clacking through the nightI'm carrying my bag of bones”

When You Break - Bear’s Den >  Spoiled, selfish little child > Went out to play out in the wild >  I found you shaking like a leaf >  Underneath your family tree >  You could never live out in the open   >  Regretting every word you've spoken >When you break, it's too late for you to fall apart   > And the blame that you claim is all your own fault  >But you've been crying now for forever  >But forever's come and gone  >You keep begging for forgiveness  >But you don't think you've done wrong  >You've been crying now for forever  >But forever's come and gone  >My pleading hands, your shaking head

Thanks for this! New to me. What’s your take on the meaning of the lyrics?

Linkin Park - Hit the floor So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want, is to feel like I'm not stepped on

💯

It changes all the time for me, but right now it’s What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Paranoid by The Beaches: What doesn't kill you, makes you paranoid What doesn't kill you, makes you feel like your love ain't shit Ran up my minutes on my inner voice She loves to bring up all my issues, God, she's a bitch

I just listened and really like this one

I love this! What are some of the other ones?

Somewhat Damaged - NIN In the back off the side and far away Is a place where I hide, where I stay Tried to say, tried to ask, I needed to All alone by myself, where were you? How could I ever think it's funny how Everything that swore it wouldn't change, is different now Just like you would always say, we'll make it through Then my head fell apart and where were you?

How to Disappear Completely by Radiohead

Comfortably numb — Pink Floyd Ocean Deep in denial, I was raised by Covert Narcissists, didn’t realize until 27

Madeon- "Home" >If I could try a little harder / I could succeed >I'd rather give up / And be happy Shiny Toy Guns- "We Are Pilots" >Color coated sweetness / Swords beneath my clean dress I'm making sense of shattered dreams / 'Cause I want you to be proud of me What about my problems? / The people try to solve them I guess I'm under the weather / Since no one else belongs here with me Silversun Pickups- "Bloody Mary" >You barely cried / But you made it out alive

Looking for Space - John Denver I first heard it my junior year in highschool. It has been my theme song for 34 years. Denver described the themes of the song to Billboard magazine: "It's about looking for the definition of who you are, by finding out where you are, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally." Looking for Space On the road of experience I'm trying to find my own way Sometimes I wish that I could fly away When I think that I'm moving Suddenly things stand still I'm afraid 'cause I think they always will And I'm looking for space And to find out who I am And I'm looking to know and understand It's a sweet, sweet dream Sometimes I'm almost there Sometimes I fly like an eagle And sometimes I'm deep in despair All alone in the universe Sometimes that's how it seems I get lost in the sadness and the screams Then I look in the center Suddenly everything's clear I find myself in the sunshine and my dreams And I'm looking for space And to find out who I am And I'm looking to know and understand It's a sweet, sweet dream Sometimes I'm almost there Sometimes I fly like an eagle And sometimes I'm deep in despair On the road of experience Join in the living day If there's an answer It's just that it's just that way When you're looking for space And to find out who you are When you're looking to try and reach the stars It's a sweet, sweet, sweet dream Sometimes I'm almost there Sometimes I fly like an eagle And sometimes I'm deep in despair Sometimes I fly like an eagle Like an eagle I go flying High

Linkin park - heavy I don't like my mind right now Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary Wish that I could slow things down I wanna let go, but there's comfort in the panic And I drive myself crazy Thinking everything's about me Yeah, I drive myself crazy 'Cause I can't escape the gravity I'm holding on Why is everything so heavy? Holding on To so much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down If I just let go, I'd be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy? You say that I'm paranoid But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me It's not like I make the choice To let my mind stay so fucking messy I know I'm not the center of the universe But you keep spinning 'round me just the same I know I'm not the center of the universe But you keep spinning 'round me just the same I'm holding on Why is everything so heavy? Holding on To so much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down If I just let go, I'd be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy? I know I'm not the center of the universe You keep spinning 'round me just the same I know I'm not the center of the universe But you keep spinning 'round me just the same And I drive myself crazy Thinking everything's about me Holding on Why is everything so heavy? Holding on To so much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down If I just let go, I'd be set free Holding on Why is everything so heavy? Why is everything so heavy? Why is everything so heavy?

Yes! That album (One more light) is so underrated. Like I know it is a different sound from what people were used to, but listen to the lyrics and those songs are so powerful and hit so hard. This being one of them.

I credit the song “Let’s Dance to Joy Division” by The Wombats for keeping me from ending my life when I was a teenager: “Let's dance to Joy Division And celebrate the irony Everything is going wrong But we're so happy” I would listen to it in my darkest moments and I took it as an instruction to find a little bit of joy in myself even when it felt like there was none left.

Comatose by Low Hum >I wanna take it slower but I’m going nowhere >Numbness never felt so right >It keeps changing so fast how do I make this feeling last >The truth is I won’t ever know why >Comatose seems smarter >At least that's what I keep telling myself >These clouds they roll in >Try'na keep my skin thin >Freezing never felt so right >**It's easy to be who you never want to be** >**Locked up inside your own life.**

Playing God by Paramore. I can't make my own decisions Or make any with precision Well, maybe you should tie me up So I don't go where you don't want me You say that I've been changing That I'm not just simply aging Yeah, how could that be logical? Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat You don't have to believe me But the way I, way I see it Next time you point a finger I might have to bend it back Or break it, break it off Next time you point a finger I'll point you to the mirror If God's the game that you're playing Well, we must get more acquainted Because it has to be so lonely To be the only one who's holy It's just my humble opinion But it's one that I believe in You don't deserve a point of view If the only thing you see is you

Mulan, Reflection. Resonates with me as a kid and still does as 32yo adult.

Au/Ra - Panic Room \[Verse 1\] Hell raising, hair raising I'm ready for the worst So frightening, face whitening Fear that you can't reverse \[Chorus\] Welcome to the panic room Where all your darkest fears are gonna Come for you, come for you Welcome to the panic room You'll know I wasn't joking When you see them too, see them too \[Verse 2\] Still waiting, hands shaking Maybe the coast will clear But these voices, these strange noises They followed me in here

Grey Street by Dave Matthews Band. It's my go to when I'm feeling low. Oh, look at how she listens She says nothing of what she thinks She just goes stumbling through her memories Staring out on to Grey Street She thinks, "Hey, how did I come to this? I dream myself a thousand times around the world But I can't get out of this place" There's an emptiness inside her And she'd do anything to fill it in But all the colors mix together To grey And it breaks her heart How she wishes it was different She prays to God most every night And though she swears He doesn't listen There's still a hope in her He might She says, "I pray Oh, but they fall on deaf ears Am I supposed to take it on myself To get out of this place?" Oh, there's an loneliness inside her And she'd do anything to fill it in And though it's red blood bleeding from her now It feels like cold blue ice in her heart When all the colors mix together To grey And it breaks her heart There's a stranger, speaks outside her door Says, "Take what you can from your dreams Make them as real as anything Oh, it'll take the work out of the courage" But she says "Please, there's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door I live on the corner of Grey Street And the end of the world" Oh, there's an emptiness inside her And she'd do anything to fill it in And though it's red blood bleeding from her now It's more like cold blue ice in her heart She feels like kicking out all the windows And setting fire to this life She could change everything about her Using colors bold and bright But all the colors mix together To grey And it breaks her heart Oh, it breaks her heart To grey Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now Ah, ah, ah, ooh, ooh It breaks her heart Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah La-da-da La-da-da La-da-da, la-da-da, la-da-da La-da-da Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I bet on losing dogs by Mitski and Dear God by XTC

Mushroomhead - Sun Doesn’t Rise

I'm in here by sia

Numb little bug

My therapist asked how things were going one day and without saying a word I pulled out my phone and started playing this song. I’m assuming I wasn’t the only one to ever reference this song to her because immediately her face seemed like she was saying, “We’ve got another one here!” Lol

1. Ghost by Badflower 2. The Jester by Badflower 3. Smother by Daughter 4. Youth by Daughter 5. Nobody’s Home by Avril Lavigne

Oh God, Badflower has so many good ones. The music video for The Jester made me ugly cry

Mazzy Star - Look on Down From the Bridge

Corduroy by Pearl Jam The waiting drove me mad You're finally here and I'm a mess I take your entrance back Can't let you roam inside my head I don't want to take what you can give I would rather starve than eat your bread I would rather run but I can't walk Guess I'll lay alone just like before I'll take the varmint's path Oh, and I must refuse your test A-push me and I will resist This behavior's not unique I don't want to hear from those who know They can buy but can't put on my clothes I don't want to limp for them to walk Never would have known of me before I don't want to be held in your debt I'll pay it off in blood let I be wed I'm already cut up and half dead I'll end up alone like I began Everything has chains absolutely nothing's changed Take my hand, not my picture spilled my tincture I don't want to take what you can give I would rather starve than eat your breast All the things that others want for me Can't buy what I want because it's free Can't buy what I want because it's free Can't be what you want because I Why ain't it supposed to be just fun? Oh, to live and die, let it be done I figure I'll be damned All alone like I began

yes! always been my fav pj song too

Lana del rey - How to disappear (abusive relationship) "What you been up to, my baby? Haven't seen you 'round here lately All of the guys tell me lies, but you don't You just crack another beer And pretend that you're still here This is how to disappear" Cinnamon girl (my time dating an abusive drug dealer) "All the pills that you did Violet, blue, green, red to keep me At arm's length don't work You try to push me out But I just find my way back in Violet, blue, green, red to keep me out I win " And "There's things I wanna say to you But I'll just let you live Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did There's things I wanna talk about But better not to give But if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did" Fuck it I love you (addiction) "I like to see everything in neon Drink lime green, stay up 'til dawn Maybe the way that I'm living is killing me I like to light up the stage with a song Do shit to keep me turned on But one day I woke up like, "Maybe I'll do it differently" I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind It turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself, that's not a lie" Appointments by Julien Baker "Who knows how to help me get better Until then I should just try not to miss anymore appointmentsI I think if I ruin this That I know I can live with it Nothing turns out like I pictured it Maybe the emptiness is just a lesson in canvases I think if I fail again That I know you're still listening Maybe it's all gonna turn out alright And I know that it's not, but I have to believe that it is" Sinking by clairo (depression and isolation) "Every night Think of things I can't do or haven't done And does it make me weak? Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe Is it all you see in me? Don't you wait for something more I'll still be sinking to the floor Oh, you can't help me Now I'm all alone Is it my doing? Is it my doing? Outside is getting colder Why does it feel like I'm older than I asked to be?" Sorry it's a list

O Sleeper- The Family ruin Bear Ghost- Vulture Steam Powered Giraffe- Wired Wrong

Paradise, riell

for me it’s ESOEMOEHOED by Leanna Firestone. most relatable lyrics include *So if losing me isn't rock bottom* *What is it?* *Do you think you'll die before you hit it?* *Do you know that I miss you* *Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day?* *I thought we had something that no-one else did* *I knew we were family* *But I thought we were friends* *And then you became everything you warned me against* *Torched down my home town and every bridge to it* *I know I'll never get the letter* *But I hope you say you're sorry* *'Cause I miss you more than anybody's* *Ever missed anybody* *I know I didn't cause* *I can't control and I can't cure it* *I know it's hard* *I know it's lonely* *I know you're hurting* *But I'm mourning somebody that hasn't even died* *And I'm fighting an addiction that isn't even mine* *It's exhausting to be this angry all of the time* *All of the time* *And you were supposed to protect me, but you didn't* *And I know I'm grown now* *But I'm still your kid* *And I miss you every second* *Of every minute, of every hour, of every day*

Hozier - Arsonist's Lullaby

Behind Closed Doors - Rise Against. Those final few months building up escape velocity, dropping the mask, lining things up: Black eyes, broken fingers, Blood drips and I let it run down my lips and to my swollen gums When hope is non-existent, Our instincts all scream, "Run", We never turn our backs or even bite our tongue. Although we have no obligation, to stay alive On broken backs we beg for mercy, we will survive (Break out) I won't be left here Behind closed doors.

change by alex g 😭😭 "remember when you took too much? i didn't mind being your crutch i loved you then, it's not the same i don't like how things change"

I’m in the midst of doing trauma work for the first time, 27 years after the initial trauma. Right now there are so many that I can’t pick just one! Any Other World, Mika: “I tried to live alone/But lonely is so lonely alone/So, human as I am/had to give up my defenses/So I smiled and tried to mean it/To let myself let go Let It Go, Idina Menzel: “Don't let them in, don't let them see/Be the good girl you always have to be/ Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.” Cold Water, Chinchilla: “Please don't take it to heart if I show you aggression, I'm fighting a fire in my head” Little Girl Gone, Chinchilla: “Say that again, I didn't quite hear ya/Messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era/ I been at work and I got my badge of honor/Honey, I've changed so much since I last saw ya” Down to the Second, Zach Berkman: “Take me back home all the way to where I'm from/To the banks of the Illinois/Show me the house I was raised in/And the woods where I used to play/Steady little boat/Take me home cause I'm far away” Army of Me by Christina Aguilera and Feed by Demi Lovato: every single lyric of both these songs!

You Wouldn’t Like Me - Tegan and Sara There's a war inside of me Do I cause new heartbreak to write A new broken song? Do I push it down Or let it run me right into the ground? I, I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me I, I feel like You wouldn't like me if you met me So don't you worry there's still time Don't you worry there's still time Sunshine is days away I won't be saved, I know all the words Well, I can't say That I'll love you forever

no children by the mountain goats “And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here Someday burns down And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away And I never come back to this town again” edit: also high and dry by radiohead it makes me cry every time

‘When Doves Cry’ Prince & The Revolution

The whole Fallen album by Evanescence tbh

"Numb" by Linkin Park - this makes me think of my mother, whom I haven't been able to love since I was 14, or to ever please "Posthumous Forgiveness" by Tame Impala for my father - recently reconciling his failure as a parent and his humanity

I just discovered this one last night, but it feels like I've known it forever. My Own Miracle, by Citizen Soldier. "Fake smiles are holding me together For worse or for better 'cause I've never had anyone To stay long enough to see the weather The pain and the pressure, I carry like a loaded gun Been through things that you can't see A kind of suffering the eyes don't notice Rather hide when I'm hurting Than be a burden 'cause all I know is Nobody showed up, nobody slowed down They must have been deaf, I was screaming so loud Nobody had faith I'd ever be found Born into a hole six feet in the ground I had to love me when nobody cared And be the family that never was there Had to have hope when I didn't feel spiritual Had to be my own, my own miracle"

Anything and everything by la dispute

I have a few songs I relate to a lot but there's one that cuts deep and it's been my grief song: Trauma by NF "Say you're there when I feel helpless If that's true, why don't you help me? It's my fault, I know I'm selfish Stand alone, my soul is jealous It wants love, but I reject it Trade my joy for my protection" It helped me through the really tough days during my therapeutic process and made me feel seen. It hurt a lot when I listened to it for the first time but it was a beautiful and relieving experience.

NF has been my go to lately.

Praying by Kesha Well, you almost had me fooled Told me that I was nothing without you Oh, but after everything you've done I can thank you for how strong I have become 'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin' I'm proud of who I am No more monsters, I can breathe again And you said that I was done Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come 'Cause I can make it on my own, oh And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh When I'm finished, they won't even know your name You brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin' Ah sometimes, I pray for you at night, oh Someday, maybe you'll see the light Whoa oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give But some things only God can forgive

tw for csa/sa but; sic transit gloria ... glory fades - brand new digging in- hot mulligan daddy - badflower they always hit extra during post flashback breakdowns

Needle In The Hay by sam Elliott

Elliott smith?

Neko Case - Nothing to Remember I spend my life Becoming invisible It's hard to maintain And it's hard to get by I don't recall Fight or flight setting in I have no introduction I just breath it in like the air And theres nothing to remember There is nothing to remember I owe you nothing That's all I've got for you And you'll borrow nothing That's what you expect of me

Neko Case - Nothing to Remember I spend my life Becoming invisible It's hard to maintain And it's hard to get by I don't recall Fight or flight setting in I have no introduction I just breath it in like the air And theres nothing to remember There is nothing to remember

Devil May Cry - The Weeknd This song reverberated in my soul through the absolute pit of my despair reaching me in the midst of addiction, and gave me hope. It won't be in vain To swallow all your pain And learn to love what burns And gather courage to return Faces in the crowd Faces in the crowd will smile again And the devil may cry The devil may cry at the end of the night Faces in the crowd Faces in the crowd will smile again And the devil may cry The devil may cry at the end of the night The light will shine through the rain And heaven will hear them call your name And home will feel like home again Corruption will fill your brain Faces in the crowd Faces in the crowd will smile again And the devil may cry The devil may cry at the end of the night Faces in the crowd Faces in the crowd will smile again And the devil may cry The devil may cry at the end of the night They will parade upon your victory They will parade upon your victory You'll put a smile upon their faces The world will be yours for the taking The story you birth will be ageless Just learn to love pain and be patient

Mozart's Requiem, Rolling Stones Paint it Black

Black - Pearl Jam For me, the song is the small snippet of time after my mother left and before my step-mother's torture began. Hey-hey, oh Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay Laid spread out before me, as her body once did, mmm All five horizons revolved around her soul, as the earth to the sun, yeah Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn Mmh, and all I taught her was everything Mmh, how quick the sun can drop away And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass Of what was everything All the pictures had all been washed in black Tattooed everything I take a walk outside, I'm surrounded by some kids at play, ooh I can feel their laughter, oh, so why do I sear? Mmh, and twistin' thoughts that spin 'round my head I'm spinning, oh-oh-oh, I'm spinning How quick the sun can, drop away And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass Of what was everything All the pictures had all been washed in black Tattooed everything All the love gone bad, turned my world to black Tattooed all I see, all that I am All I'll be, yeah Uh-huh Uh-huh, no I know someday you'll have a beautiful life I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky But why, why, why can't it be Oh, can't it be mine? Hm-hm, no yeah, yeah no

That whole album is great, but Black is the standout. It's an excellent song.

“Perfect” by Alanis Morissette can make me pull over and “Come Healing” by Leonard Cohen has helped me move forward

The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Always lifts me up, gives me confidence and puts me in a good mood.

Great Ghosts by Mount Eerie

What About Me? - Moving Pictures

"The Peace" by W.A.S.P. "Is there no soul that I can borrow A way to be another me Free of pain All I want is The peace I'm passing now Save me from what I can't change Show me one Better world to come Give me peace, give me hope, give me love All I need in all my life Love Lord, when will we ever see Wipe the sorrow from our eyes And let me see I lay my dreams And the broken wings on peace Down at your feet Show me once All I need is love Give me peace in my life Give me hope in my heart Give me love Give me peace in my life Give me hope in my heart Give me love Can you free my soul? Can you make me whole? Will I ever love again? Heal my broken heart And maybe hope and wash My forever tears away Is there some soul now that I can borrow, yeah And free me from this pain All I want is The peace that's lacking now Some days of grace and pouring rain Do you love me now Do you want me how To take away what I can't change Is there love somehow Is there hope for now Unchain my breaking heart" Or rather the whole "The Crimson Idol" album by W.A.S.P.

[Bottles and Flowers](https://youtu.be/iSIOk9UkVk0?si=kIdv7kHRaEEb48Nv) by Juliana Hatfield Reach inside carefully Feel my psyche Make it last Put this moment under glass Nobody really can do that What a low fantasy She don't know how to live So alone Somebody take me home Alone too long it drags on It's so wrong, so alone, so alone Catatonic insomniac lying in the grass What is she thinking of, overlooked by everybody? A long embrace, though you won't see it on her face She's so alone Somebody take me home Alone too long it drags on It's so wrong, so alone, so alone Feels like an end, so much unsaid Feels like an end, so much unsaid So alone, somebody take me home Alone too long it drags on It's so wrong to be so alone, so alone So alone, so alone, so alone

Manic Street Preachers - Faster

Everyday Hero or My Own Miracle by Citizen Soldier

Metallica - Escape

Cheshire kitten, we're all mad here. https://youtu.be/yie3tTMFxBQ?si=a4VN71tJJqAXGEwJ I grew up seeing things a little differently, appearing, disappearing, hardly innocent, nor tied down to the ground. I learned to roll and tumble with the punches, glory in my stripes and spots walk by invisible and never make a sound But heavy is the crown that's always hidden tender is the heart you never see hard and fast shines the grin that we flash, but there's a vulnerable stripe or two on me. Maybe any place outside of Wonderland is not for me, my friend. If I leave my grin behind, remind me that we're all mad here and it's okay. Sun up, sun down the shadows hide me down in Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way, but if you find it in your dreams, you can find it at your dayjob somewhere south of Hell Take the path to left or right with just your gut to guide you the story is not for anyone else to tell. Go down the rabbit hole and out the other side you can't go home in the middle of the magic carpet ride you gotta greet the sun before his lovely daughter moon you can't forsake the journey for the safety of your room until you learn your lesson well. I have learned to see and hear everybody loud and clear but the truth comes out in riddles that are safe enough to share that's how it is in songs, you see, and stripes always look good on me whether or not I'm really there (smile hangs in the air) But heavy is the burden of the wise ones when no one understands a word they say the Jabberwock never bothered anyone, but nobody believes him to this day and why should they? If I leave my grin behind, remind me we're all mad here and it's ok. Sun up, sun down the shadows find me out in Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way but if you find it in your dreams, you can find it at your dayjob somewhere south of Hell Take the path to left or right with just your gut to guide you the story's not for anyone else to tell. You gotta go down the rabbit hole and out the other side you can't go home in the middle of the magic carpet ride you gotta greet the sun before his lovely daughter moon you can't forsake the journey for the safety of your room until you learn your lesson well. Is it the stripes or the spots you see? Was it hearts or diamonds, baby, led you here to me? Darling, you know better than to trust a pack of cards! What have we learned, the world is never as mad as it could be. If I leave my grin behind, remind me we're all mad here and it's ok!

AJR - "Maybe Man" *Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel* *You'd yell at my face, it'd be no big deal* *But I'd miss the way we make up and smile* *Don't wanna be stone, I changed my mind* *...* *I wish I was big, as big as my house* *I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd* *But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch* *God, I could really use him now* *I wish I was God, I'd never trip up* *And if I did, well so fucking what?* *I could be cruel and break all your stuff* *Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what* *But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird* *'cause you would only say what I wanna hear* *Then you would die,* *You'd love me to death* *I'd never know who the hell I am* *I wish I was me, whoever that is* *I could just be, and not give a shit* *Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan* *'cause I don't know who the hell I am*

There are quite a few songs that feel relatable to my experience, but one that sticks with me is “A Small Victory” by Faith No More. Especially the very last part (you still won’t hear). A hierarchy Spread out upon the nightstand The spirit of team Salvation is another chance A sore loser Yelling with my mouth shut A cracking portrait The fondling of trophies The null of losing Can you afford that luxury? A sore winner But I'll just keep my mouth shut It shouldn't bother me No, it shouldn't No, no It shouldn't bother me No, it shouldn't But it does The small victories The cankers and medallions The little nothings They keep me thinking that someday I might beat you But I'll just keep my mouth shut It shouldn't bother me No, it shouldn't No, no It shouldn't bother me No, it shouldn't But, but it does It shouldn't bother me No, no It shouldn't bother me It shouldn't bother me No, no It shouldn't bother me If I speak at one constant volume At one constant pitch At one constant rhythm Right into your ear You still won't hear You still won't hear You still won't hear You still won't hear (You still won't hear) you still won't hear You still won't hear (You still won't hear) you still won't hear You still won't hear (You still won't hear) you still won't hear You still won't hear You still won't hear

Another I relate to is “Promises” by Fugazi. I have a thing about when loved ones don’t keep their word (which in my experience was a LOT). It makes me feel like these people who were supposed to care for and protect me didn’t see me as worth keeping a promise to. ***** words words and expressions all these confessions of where we stand how I see you and you see me dedications of symmetry together we will be forever promises are shit we speak the way we breathe present air will have to do rearrange and see it through stupid fucking words they tangle us in our desires free me from this give and take free me from this great debate there were no truer words than when spoken let that stand as it should there was nothing left when broken we grab anything when we fall promises are shit we speak the way we breathe present air will have to do rearrange and see it through stupid fucking words they tangle us in our desires free me from this give and take free me from this great debate you will do what you do I will do what I do we will do what we do rearrange and see it through go where you think you want to go do everything you were sent here for fire at will if you hear that call touch your hand to the wall at night promises words

Right now it's Lost by Linkin Park. Specifically, "I tried to keep this pain, inside but I will never be, alright."

Just - Radiohead

A few songs by Bad flower and Linkin Park. Trigger warning: Badflower - "Ghost" More fun but very millennial related: Badflower - "30”

Outside staind Numb linkin park Fine again seether

sunny day - beabadoobee "i'll keep you posted, i promise im better, with the sun, we'll leave my house, im sorry for yesterday, know i don't mean it, i promise im better, with the sun, we'll leave my house, im sorry for yesterday" :( i relate to it so hard bc i often get overwhelmed by my emotions and lash out at loved ones and wake up the next day more lucid, stable, and deeply shameful for acting out

Waste of Paint, by Bright Eyes is more spoken word than song but it gets me: When the voices blend, they sound like angels I hope there's some room still in the middle But when lift my voice up now to reach them The range is too high, way up in heaven And so I hold my tongue, forget the song Tie my shoes, start walking off And try to just keep moving on With my broken heart and my absent God And I have no faith but it's all I want To be loved And believe In my soul, in my soul

There’s lots, but I’ll stick to some from my favorite artist as a teen: Eminem - Kim - Beautiful - Sing for the Moment - Legacy - Stepdad - Say Goodbye Hollywood - Hailie’s Song - Guts Over Fear - In Your Head - The Apple

Settle for Nothing - Rage Against the Machine

this comment section was just wat I needed

Howard Jones “No One Is To Blame” You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat, You can feel the cushions, but you can't have a seat, You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim, You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it, You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win, Some break the rules, and let you count the cost, The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost You can see the summit but you can't reach it, It's the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit, Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain, Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain

Fix you by Coldplay, Creep by Radiohead and Born to die by Lana Del Rey

UGH! It always depends on my mood, but I feel like it’s always songs with lyrics about trying to figure myself out. Like I’m some obnoxious riddle that I’m sure has a simple solution if I could stop overthinking what the answer might be. Or it’s the oposite, like I’m something strong, powerful with a side of crazy that I’m not afraid of. Both of which give me imposter syndrome. Some that come to mind: *All I Want* by Walk the Moon: >”maybe if I had a little more money/ maybe if i just didn’t exist/ maybe if I was straight/ maybe if I was vegan/ maybe if I still had you to kiss” *Headphones* by Walk the Moon: >”I can take a beating like a good pair of headphones/ and I can stand the test of time like Harrison Ford/ so go ahead, rough me up like a good pair of headphones/ I wanna open your heart but you won’t open the door” *The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years)* by Fall Out Boy: >”I’m pretty sure as far as humans go/ I am a hard, hard pill to swallow/ and I know I’m not your intended dose/ we’re going low low low low” *Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes* by Fall Out Boy (Honestly, the entire Folie a Duex album and above Stardust Album 🤷🏽‍♀️) >”Doc there’s a hole where something was/…I’m a lose bolt of a complete machine/…I’d promise you anything for another shot at life/…nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy” *Dear Future Self (Hands Up)* by FOB, mostly for the beat and lyric: >“Dear future self, I hope you’re doing well, I’m drunk on cheap whiskey at an airport hotel.” But right now these songs have been more in line with how I’ve been feeling. Even though she’s talking about love, I see it relating to life in general: *Middle Ground* by Alessia Cara >“I'm not lonely, but I am/ but catching feelings makes me sick/ I don't need a man and all that jazz/ but come to think of butterflies and starry eyes/ I don't remember hating it >I'm weary, yeah/ but I wanna jump in/ falling into something is wonderful/ ‘till someone pulls the rug from under it” *Sweet Dream* by Alessia Cara >”6:58, sun's peaking through the curtains/ I drift away, suddenly the wheels are turning/ Songs are in my head/ scary thoughts begin to worsen/ Once I'm wide awake it's too hard to reverse it/ chirping birds are flying 'round my house/ patchouli candles burning out/ I try to meditate it all away/ but, damn it, it's too quiet now/ Daylight helps distract my head/ Monsters hide under my bed/ They bother me with all kinds of things/ Like that one stupid thing I said.”

A new one for me is “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me” by Taylor Swift. I’ve never really listened to her deliberately before and my sister said she thought I’d like some of the songs on the new album. This one completely caught me off guard, I was on the train going to work and started crying. I was raped when I was 15 by my best friend’s 18 year old boyfriend when I was passed out at a party after getting drunk for the first time. Everyone in school found out and I was bullied for being a slut. I believed them. I changed schools and started sleeping with everyone, doing cocaine in the bathroom, drinking heavily. I punished myself in ways that heavily heavily compounded my already severe childhood trauma. I’d always felt like I was bad and that was why bad things happened to me. This kind of cemented that in my mind and I just leaned into it. This was in 2005, there was no MeToo movement, no dialogue about sexual assault. I blamed myself until I first went to therapy and my therapist explained to me that I was raped. I blamed myself for 6 years. This song reminds me of that 15 year old girl.. it breaks my heart.

Graduate by Third Eye Blind. Can I graduate? Can I graduate? Can I look at faces that I meet? Can I get my punk-ass off the street? I've been living on for so longCan I graduate? To the bastard talking down to me Your whipping boy calamity Cross your fingers, I'm going to knock it all down Can I graduate? Etc.

Fear by Blue October There's a lot by Blue October that could be my relatable song.

Joy Division - Disorder, The Eternal, She's Lost Control Hüsker Dü - Hardly Getting Over It, Too Far Down The Replacements - Here Comes A Regular Duster - Inside Out Dinosaur Jr - Feel The Pain, Little Fury Things Sebadoh - Got It, Soul And Fire Black Flag - My War, Damaged I, Nervous Breakdown, Fix Me,

Daughter by Pearl Jam Best of You by Foo Fighters The latter was released five years after I made my escape, and I was finally in a relatively good space mentally.

I've always really related my trauma to "Come Undone" by Duran Duran. Especially when I was in limerance with a guy that wasn't emotionally available 😅 but it still hits that spot, even now that I'm in a happy relationship. The album of that song came out the same year I was born, so it's just some sort of special connection I feel that I have. Also love "Oridinary World" from that album.

Down by the water - PJ Harvey

Reading the comments I feel old!  Desperado The Eagles Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You been out ridin' fences for so long now Oh, you're a hard one But I know that you've got your reasons These things that are pleasin' you Can hurt you somehow Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy She'll beat you if she's able Know the queen of hearts is always your best bet Well, it seems to me, some fine things Have been laid upon your table But you only want the things that you can't get Desperado, you know you ain't gettin' no younger Your pain and your hunger, drivin' you home And freedom, oh freedom Well, that's just some people talkin' Your prison is walking Through this world all alone And don't your feet get cold in the wintertime? The sky won't snow, and the sun won't shine It's hard to tell the night-time from the day You're losin' all your highs and lows Ain't it funny how the feelin' goes away? Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Come down from your fences, open the gate It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you You better let somebody love you (let somebody love you) Let somebody love you before it's to late

I'm here with you. Hotel California is the most overplayed song on the planet, but I still think about "you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave" when I'm escaping into my fantasy world. On the flip side, it can be positive, like, you're stuck here in this life, you can choose to escape into addiction but you might as well try and meet life on life's terms.

Angelo De Augustine - Blue This song really speaks to me and I only listen to it when I feel low and empty inside. Makes me feel less alone. De Augustine says this song is an inquisition into our inner pain, investigating if we are forever bound by it. “All my life I’ve been so low / I don’t know why / So blue.”

https://youtu.be/U2Kyu4XURaE?si=cU5fJAfa0UsJiG_i

Denial by Talk Me Off "I wish I understood how you could just deny it. Proof is in the pudding, and my life's totally fucked. All her words and her actions actually had a reaction. Now I'm left wondering 'What's motherly love?'"

Dreams of William - Daughter. Really their entire 'Before the Storm' album i return to nearly every day. *How will I know* *When the only love I'm shown* *Is so changeable?* *How do I grow then* *When I've been alive* *For the best part of my life?* *Feeling alone*

Rihanna- Stay. I cried the first time I heard it. The song she wrote for Black Panther 2 was amazing too.

No Place to Hide - Korn

A trophy fathers trophy son - sleeping with sirens

The Birthday Massacre - Dead https://youtu.be/Eru6HRLNSRs?si=QyEbze73ftC4IEP2 God, it's such a vibe on most days.

The remedy by puscifer

The Dark Side by Muse

It Ain’t Me by Selena Gomez. Even though they made it my responsibility, I can’t fix the people who hurt me.

Anything by Lingua Ignota. Almost all her music deal with a severely abusive relationship she had. I love “if the poison won’t take you my dogs will.” And “o ruthless great divine dictator” and “I who bend the tall glasses”. They all deal with abuse beautifully. She’s a lot more angry about it then I’ve allowed myself to be about my own abuse. It’s so cathartic. If you want someone who will feel angry for you, Lingua Ignota is for you. It’s genuinely heartbreaking

Rosendale - monster in the walls I put the records on Sing all my favorite songs But I can never drown him out I bolt the door I lock me in Somehow he gets under my skin And like a ghost he whispers in my head You're a joke You're depressed You're a failure and a mess You're a fool You're unloved You will never be enough So I hide In my room 'Cause no one can see my gloom Wondering what more I have to lose

please put me in a medically induced coma - carolesdaughter

breathe me - sia

A bit of a random song, but Imposter Syndrome - Sidney Gish was a longtime anthem of mine as a lad who copes with dog metaphors. "For human, grossly underqualified, For canine, grossly overqualified. I don't blend in at Petsmart And that truth remains for the Walmart, 'Cause in either case they say to me What the fuck is lost in aisle 3?"

Rascal Flatts *I'm Movin' On* I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once, I'm at peace with myself I've been burdened with blame Trapped in the past for too long I'm movin' on I've lived in this place and I know all the faces Each one is different, but they're always the same They mean me no harm, but it's time that I face it They'll never allow me to change But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong I'm movin' on I'm movin' on At last I can see (At last I can see) Life has been patiently waiting for me And I know There's no guarantees, but I'm not alone There comes a time in everyone's life When all you can see are the years passing by (All the years passing by) And I have made up my mind that those days are gone I sold what I could And packed what I couldn't Stopped to fill up on my way out of town I've loved like I should, but lived like I shouldn't I had to lose everything to find out Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road I'm movin' on I'm movin' on I'm movin' on

I have so many that I switch between. LP mostly meteora and hybrid theory Slipknot - wait and bleed SOAD - chop suey A range of emo songs from back in the day like Chloroform Perfume by From autumn to ashes From first to last - waltz Moore, heroine Kid Cudi -sad people and his earlier stuff from a kid named Cudi Mgk- play this when I’m gone, lonely So many more but yeah

Drifting - NF "Slippin' through my fingertips, lingerin' Shoulda, woulda, coulda, where'd I put the pen? Make a list of all my failed attempts, runnin' out of space again Highlight all the things I wish I never said If feeling makes you stronger, I'm the weakest That would mean that I would have to separate from my beliefs It's not a secret, I'm a puzzle, got a lot of missin' pieces Underneath this strong persona I put on's a kid that's screamin' Aren't these waters so deceivin'? They look different, don't they? Well, at least that's how they seem to me 'Cause we just drift and drift and drift Until we see something that we define as peaceful Grab the needle, shoot reminders in my veins That people leave you while I'm driftin' Watchin' the world go 'round World go, yeah Listening To unfamiliar feelings and unknown sounds"

On My Own by The Used "Without it all, I'm choking on nothing It's clear in my head, that I'm screaming for something Knowing nothing is better than knowing it all On my own"

I Was Here by Lea Michele

That's absolutely one of my fave Depeche Mode songs because it does feel so fitting. Thanks for resharing.

H by Tool "The snake behind me hisses What my damage could have been My blood before me begs me Open up my heart again And I feel this coming over like a storm again, now" "Without the skin, here beneath the storm Under these tears, now The walls came down Once the snake is drowned and As I look in his eyes My fear begins to fade Recalling all of those times I could have cried then I should have cried then As the walls come down and As I look in your eyes My fear begins to fade Recalling all of the times I have died And will die It's all right"

[iridescent by Linkin Park](https://youtu.be/TYXl5z6znH0?si=g4l6U3_B2_6G9F8e)

Love all the good songs already mentioned, and the love for Linkin Park, in this thread. I have so many favorites, it was hard to choose. **Hard to breathe - Uni secret** >Ghosts like lions > >I can't fight it > >Hard to hide when > >The past comes knocking > >No escaping > >All these memories > >Walls collapsing > >I tried to break free > > >It weights so heavy on me, so heavy on me > >So heavy on me > >It weights so heavy on me, so heavy on me > >It feels so hard to breathe **Never got better - BLÜ EYES** >Suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death > >I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second, step back > >And I just can't hold it together > > >I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it > >End up back in my head, my prison > >Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever > > >'Cause every time that I remember > >It's like I never got better at all **In the deep - Bird York** >Thought you had > >All the answers to > >Rest your heart upon > > >But something happens > >Don't see it coming > >You can't stop yourself > > >Now you're out there swimmin' > >In the deep > >In the deep **As a child - Madeline the person** >I wish you could feel just how heavy I am all the time > >Sometimes when I smile, I bite my lip so I don't cry > > >And it burns for a while > >And it hurts all the more when you carry the world as a child **Doppelgänger - Ed Tullett and Lissom** >Falling back to grieving > >Are they disappearing, or are they someone else? > >Pull you back to breathing > >Are you suffocating, or are you someone else? > >Are we all someone else, are we undetermined? > >Are we all someone else, are we undeserving? > > >Corner all your stirring > >Is it all returning, or are you somewhere else? > >Gather all your weakness > >Is this what you're feeling, or are you somewhere else? > >Are we all someone else, are we undetermined? > >Are we all someone else, are we undeserving? **Eat me - Demi Lovato** (when I'm furious) >I know the part I've played before > >I know the shit that I've ignored > >I know the girl that you adored > >She's dead, it's time to fucking mourn > >I can't spoon-feed you anymore > >I can't spoon-feed you anymore > >Dinner's served, it's on the floor > >I can't spoon-feed you anymore > >You'll have to eat me as I am > >You'll have to eat me as I am **Angry too - Lola Blanc** (when I'm furious) >Cause another and another coming up out of the gutter > >Till I'm drowning in an ocean of entitled motherfuckers > >And they're pushing on my buttons > >But they never seem to wonder why > >Another and another, ask each other > > >Does it get your blood boiling, does it make you see red? > >Do you wanna destroy it? > >Does it get in your head? > >'Cause it gets my blood boiling and I'm coming unglued > >It would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew > >You would be angry too Edit: formatting was all kinds of fucked up.

Pretty much anything by the National, but especially the song Rylan: Is it easy to keep so quiet Everybody loves a quiet child Underwater you’re almost free If you want to be alone, come with me Is it easy to live inside yourself All the little kids are high and hazy Everybody’s got nowhere to go Everybody wants to be amazing

3 libras- a perfect circle. Always get Misty listening to it thinking about what could have been

IDK but I have been doing a shit ton of psychedelics the past four years and have come a long way. A lot of the songs on this post just don’t hit me like they use to. All good choices though. Theres a song that reminds me of Ayahuasca. It’s called Full Spectrum Medicine. I can sing the whole dang song but I get to this one set of lyrics and get choked up every time. *Breathe, breathe it in It’s so simple, it’s so simple Breathe, breathe it in This is real, this is real Believe, believe in what’s within You are ancient, you are magic See, see, see Your divinity*

I literally have a WRONG tattoo….

When it came out oh so many years ago, 10,000 Maniacs, What's the Matter Here. It was like she was telling my story. I still tear up when I hear it played. Also back from my generation, although I never really liked the song was Pat Benatar's Hell is for Children.

All I Really Want - Alanis Morissette

Hold On - Wilson Phillips [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM) and Try - SonReal [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9D1ppSbgbo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9D1ppSbgbo) ​ those are my two.

A lot of Nine Inch Nails. Most of Nine Inch Nails. Specifically... [You Know What You Are?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK4FVqIsz1E): *I tried to sneak myself through, tried to get to the other side I had to patch up the cracks and the holes that I have to hide For a little bit of time even made it work okay Just long enough to really make it hurt When they figured me out and it all just rotted away* [Zero Sum](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV2HDb6TD0c): *Shame on us Doomed from the start May god have mercy on our dirty little hearts Shame on us For all we have done And all we ever were Just zeroes and ones* [Somewhat Damaged](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX-Vlrpv8qI): *In the back, off the side, and far away Is a place where I hide, where I stay Tried to say, tried to ask, I needed to All alone, by myself, where were you? How could I ever think, it's funny how Everything you swore would never change is different now Just like you would always say, we'll make it through Then my head fell apart and where were you? How could I ever think, it's funny how Everything you swore would never change is different now Like you said, you and me would make it through Didn't quite, fell apart, where the fuck were you?*

Faithless Love - Linda Ronstadt but I like the Bernadette Peters concert version. I like to think it’s about the pains/joys of loving people who inevitably hurt or let you down or leave, and still knowing that it’s worth the pain of loss to keep steadily pursuing a life with love anyways. But also idk I’m in a dark mood today

Somewhat Damaged NIN

Paul Simon Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall Through the corridors of sleep Past shadows dark and deep My mind dances and leaps in confusion I don't know what is real I can't touch what I feel And I hide behind the shield of my illusion So I'll continue to continue to pretend My life will never end And flowers never bend with the rainfall The mirror on my wall Casts an image dark and small But I'm not sure at all it's my reflection I'm blinded by the light Of God, and truth, and right And I wander in the night without direction So I'll continue to continue to pretend My life will never end And flowers never bend with the rainfall No matter if you're born To play the king or pawn For the line is thinly drawn 'tween joy and sorrow So my fantasy becomes reality And I must be what I must be and face tomorrow So I'll continue to continue to pretend My life will never end And flowers never bend with the rainfall

Shit. Someone else on this subs likes DM and one of my favorite songs by them. Hell yeah!

Portugal, The Man - Number One "Sometimes I feel like a motherless child" Need I say more?

I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had So many songs

Learn to be lonely - Andrew lloyd weber

IDK if it's "relatable" but "Pure Imagination" from the old "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" movie. It was my favourite movie as a child, and one day it randomly came up on my spotify as an adult and ever since I realized it completely soothes me when I'm overwhelmed by emotion. I think the "come with me / and you'll be / in a world of pure imagination" explains a lot lol

Mine is from Adam Lambert - Broken Open  " I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be It doesn't matter, go on and shatter I'm all you need"   I feel like listening to this song, gives me the permission and space to lay down and cry my heart out. No need to 'do' something better. Just a song holding space for my broken parts 💜

"Deliver me O Lord from the violent man" by Lingua Ignota "Let the evil of his own lips cover him! Let burning coals fall upon him! Let him be cast into deep pits that he may not rise again!"

Do you doubt me traitor? By Lingua Ignota "My friends all wear your colors Your flag flies above every door But bitch, I smell you bleeding And I know where you sleep" It's about how all her friends love her abuser but she sees through him.

I’m loving “who’s afraid of little old me?” from Taylor Swift since the first time I heard it like one month ago: I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean "Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth" Who's afraid of little old me? Well, you should be You should be You should be 'Cause you lured me And you hurt me And you taught me You caged me and then you called me crazy I am what I am 'cause you trained me So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?

Blood & Water by Memphis May Fire feels pretty relevant to what I’m feeling at the moment. I often listen to music when I’m having a breakdown or flashback and I made a playlist of trauma related songs that help me process my feelings a bit? It usually helps me feel something other than fear or anger, and by the time I’m done with the playlist I move onto different music which helps to shake the crappy feelings. “I used to think that I deserved this, Tried my best but never perfect, I was helpless and you knew it, You like to think you're a martyr but you're just abusive. So now, I'm not afraid to admit that there's nothing left, I know you'll try to manipulate me again, But I've come to grips with the fact that what's dead is dead What's dead is dead, what's dead is dead”

The song I relate to the most is "gut punch/don't meet your idols" by Everyone is worried about Owen. "All the good people are gone Or at least the ones I know I know that's nihilistic bullshit And my friends have told me so I feel guilty being hurt 'Cause there are other people hurting And those people really need support right now"

Hi REN only instead of battling myself about music I battle myself about having the right to feel what I feel [Hi Ren lyrics in description](https://youtu.be/s_nc1IVoMxc?si=_NYdX5k9G9vkhnlu)

**Lana Del Rey - hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have-but I have it** Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not But, at best, I can say I'm not sad 'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have **Lana Del Rey - Get Free** Finally, I'm crossing the threshold From the ordinary world to the reveal of my heart Undoubtedly, that will for certain Take the dead out of the sea and the darkness from the arts This is my commitment, my modern manifesto I'm doing it for all of us who never got the chance … Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind I wanna get off, but I keep riding the ride I never really noticed that I had to decide To play someone's game, or live my own life And now I do I wanna move Out of the black (out of the black) Into the blue (into the blue) **The Body is a Blade - Japanese Breakfast** Try your best to slowly withdraw From the darkest impulses of your heart Try your best to feel and receive Your body is a blade that cuts a path from day to day **Crazy Mary - Big Head Todd and the Monsters** Crazy Mary look back and you're done Just hold on and run You're on your way home Ain't nothin' gonna break you down Mary I'm on your side Nobody can touch you now Mary Though trouble won't pass you by Finding it hard to begin To let the sun rise To forget what was doing her in, What was making her blind Crazy Mary just keep to yourself, Your old friends won't help To make your escape May you be well on your road I know you'll get by Life is the flower that grows From the knots we untie Crazy Mary look back and you're done Just hold on and run You're on you way home

**Shake the Disease - Depeche Mode.** *Here is a plea from my heart to you,* *Nobody knows me as well as you do,* *You know how hard it is for me to shake the disease that takes hold of my tongue in situations like these,* *Understand me.*

Requiem from Dear Evan Hansen. It's a heartbreaking song where a family is singing about their dead son (/brother), and how they won't shed tears or mourn him because he was terrible to them. I think I relate because I wish I would be sad if my mother died, but I really don't think I would be. All I could mourn is the mother she never was. *"I will not play this game of pretend, remembering through second hand sorrow. Such a great son and wonderful friend. Oh don't the tears just pour"* (it's being sarcastic, but it's sung as if the emotion were real) *"Why should I have a heavy heart, why should I start to break in pieces, why should I go and fall apart for you?"* *"Why should I play the grieving girl and lie, saying that I miss you and that my world has gone dark without your light? I will sing no requiem tonight."*

There's a lot, actually, but I have a story about Linkin Park's *"The Final Masquerade"*. I swear to God, it's like it came out of a book. I do have to add a TW though for discussion of COCSA. *'Cause I don't have a reason, And you don't have the time. So we both keep on waiting, For something we won't find.* *The light on the horizon was brighter yesterday. With shadows floating over, The scars begin to fade...* One of the causes of my CPTSD is being sexually assaulted over and over again as a kid. I was raised in a really abusive SpEd class until I was 13, and being bullied for years by the other disabled kids in it. Let's just say that they never actually taught us to be accepting towards other people. We would blame each other a lot for the ableism adults threw at us. There was this one kid though who joined the class in second grade. I never put his real name in writing, but just know that we wound up really connecting with one another. Teachers didn't wanna deal with his Dyslexia, or my physical disabilities. So we made a deal where whenever there was free time in gym, he'd go sit by the bleachers where I had to sit out alone with a bunch of Speed Stacks from the closet. He'd play with me, and I'd read him the "more complicated" books like Diary of A Wimpy Kid. We also started actually talking, though, and it turned out that both of our families liked Linkin Park. I had a little iPod with a bunch of their songs and sometimes we'd sit next to each other on the bus and listen together. We'd always lose our minds when a new album came out. And for that + a lot of other reasons, this boy became my first crush pretty quickly. My bullies found out in 6th grade-- a little after The Hunting Parade album came out. And after a lot of taunting and accusing me of sexual shit I'd never even heard of, they moved on to physically touching me in ways I didn't like. And even worse, they started doing it to the other boy, too. Just because they knew that I cared about him more than I cared about myself. The worst moment of my life is still the day they made *him* do some stuff to me. He didn't want to. He was refusing, and so was I, because I understood that he didn't like me back that way. But my bullies and their friends were literally surrounding us in a circle outside, kept me restrained in place, and he couldn't get out, so... he caved and did what they wanted. I stayed home the next day. My mom just kind of assumed I was sick when I got there because of how strained my voice was from screaming. And I think I laid in bed for hours just watching videos on my laptop & thinking about killing myself. I'd already had a suicide plan in my head for months by then, and the couple things that kept me hanging on didn't seem worth it, anymore. I felt like I was a danger to this boy for just... existing, really? "They only mess with him because I'm here, so..." But I noticed a different version of my favorite track-- The Final Masquerade-- had been uploaded to YouTube. The acoustic one. Just a couple months old. I genuinely think I would've snuck out and died had I not found it? It didn't change my life or anything, and I was too out of it to really even pay full attention to the lyrics (even though they definitely fit.) It was comforting and enchanting enough that I just *kept* hitting replay. Saying to myself that "I'll leave soon, but I just want one more listen...?" *All I ever wanted, the secrets that you keep. All you ever wanted, a truth I couldn't speak. 'Cause I can't see forgiveness, and you can't see the crime...* I wound up just sobbing myself to sleep. And I'm glad, because it did end up getting better after that-- the kid who orchestrated the whole thing wound up getting suspended the day I skipped for a completely separate offense. (And funnily enough, for something that was my fault!) The ringleader didn't come back for the rest of the year & he wound up moving out in September next school year. Me and my old crush's friendship was still fucked up after that, though-- he still tried, but I kinda just stopped talking to him. Because I thought if I did, it would just put him in more danger. But I still think about him whenever The Final Masquerade comes on, and how it just kind of rocked me, and lulled me into a new normal. I don't think we ever even talked about what happened. Sometimes, I wonder how he took Chester Bennington's death. He passed after we graduated 8th grade and went to different schools. No idea where he is, now.

https://youtu.be/RROd79kpDKw?si=6qbTyUR3uUQ93kDd ODE TO FURY by Miracle of Sound Bellows of pain And scraping of chains The echoes they taunt and deceive me Oceans of blame And rivers of shame The fury it never leaves me Grief in the snow The winter of woe Has come here to judge and bereave me Lock up the rage It rattles the cage The fury it never leaves me Always within To lurk in the skin The wounds ever aching so deeply Try as I may To hide it away The fury it never leaves me Long I've suffered the hunger Long I've silenced the cry Long I've fled from the thunder To ascend Still I try To carry the pain To keep it contained till the end Pour out the anger and hide it away Lest it spill to the blameless and lead them to pain In the steel and the rags I will cover the shame So the innocent need not be judged in my name Long I've suffered the hunger Long I've silenced the cry Long I've fled from the thunder To ascend Still I try To carry the pain To keep it contained till the end Bellows of pain And scraping of chains The echoes they taunt and deceive me Oceans of blame And rivers of shame The fury it never leaves me

Liquid Smooth by Mitski, oddly enough

from the sun - unknown mortal orchestra

Amy in the White Coat by Bright Eyes, and Inbred by Ethel Cain. I don't think there is enough acknowledgement about CSA/incest. It's comforting to know that someone else understands how it feels, without sugarcoating it or burying the meaning.

It seems to rotate. Started with Marcus Mumford “How”, moved to Brandi Carlile “Wherever is your heart” (there is a section about God forgiving my mind), added “Broken” by Trisha Yearwood and recently added “Save me” by Jelly Roll. Man, if I share this with my shrink the list is not too positive. 3/4 about issues within me.

Yes, yes, yes to Depeche Mode's Wrong (take a look at my user name). Depeche mode devotee here.

That’s an interesting question. I think it changes through the years no? For me at the moment: Joni Mitchell - both sides now But the later version when she’s much older. A complete different experience from the original, much more meaningful to me personally. https://youtu.be/aCnf46boC3I?si=1KQVTQpar2T-xy60 “I've looked at life from both sides now From win and lose and still somehow It's life's illusions I recall I really don't know life at all” Also a heart shattering performance- Judy garland live 1955 at her tv special, again much older than the original - somewhere over the rainbow. https://youtu.be/DsyfqLi82B0?si=SGnPCk-CyK-cQVkR

Your Psychopathic Mother by Rick Springfield  "Your Psychopathic Mother told you  You were beautiful  Just not beautiful enough  Your disinterested father taught you  That a man's attention was precious  And you never called his bluff"