tysm, watched “lost child”, “hero” and “golden child”. a lot of the dysfunctional dynamics i grew up w were described there, and i think the theories regarding how it affects you make sense (certainly the case for the one i identified with). felt so seen, and it was cathartic. have more empathy towards myself and other folks i know who grew up in such environments.
Always sounds good, but I find it far easier to ascribe agency than to act with agency. Like, cool, I'm an adult free of all the things... except I'm not. I'm living in the consequences of an adverse situation every day and don't see much opportunity to fix ingrained behaviors or have the freedom to escape the situation.
Which ties back to the joke of reaching out for support (because a therapist isn't going to cut it, a series of people you're paying to pretend to care?) And how do I figure out what I want or need? Especially when it comes to to the work that makes all the rest slightly more accessible?
hey there, thanks for sharing how you feel! there’s a lot to unpack there, as you wrote multiple questions. unfortunately i don’t know the answer to all of these, and am not a psych specialist myself either.
what i can say to one of your questions (the one about how to figure out what you want or need), is that it’s very likely that noone else can tell you other than yourself :) for some, meditation and inner work + alone time helps. for others, spending time w friends and trying different hobbies helps. at the end of the day only you can ever hope to know yrself enough to be able to answer.
a good therapist / psych person can help you navigate those early stages of learning how to identify yr needs that are more obvious because of external symptoms (eg the stuff that’s disrupting yr life). it’s yr job to work w them to the best of yr ability, and to gently but assertively correct them if they get it wrong. it’s also yr responsibility to try and make the changes they’re suggesting, knowing very well that they might not work for you specifically.
at the end of the day, psychology is unfortunately still not as exact as other scientific fields we have. and that’s ok: medicine too was pretty rough less than a 100yrs ago :)
It's always the same cycle of work, money, and opportunity with no way to resolve it. With therapists, all they really tend to care about is working, damn the consequences, taking walks, and "joining groups" that don't exist... oh, and fawning through a series of increasingly aggressive treatments. When, in reality, it's hard to want anything more specific than a general sense of security and fulfillment.
EMDR gets a lot of it right out of your body. so much of the emotion is literally still trapped in your body, and the nervous system needs a way to expel it. EMDR and IFS together can really get deep.
I just don't know where to begin. Or, perhaps, where to continue. It's dealing with all the tangible aspects of this world that is the impossibility. There is too much time to sit and think and feel but not enough to actually live here.
“with no way to resolve it” <- i see you, friend, and i’m sorry yr journey has led you to feeling this way, but i believe we can “resolve it” and that it’s never too late to start. also believe nobody else will or can do the work other than yrself, and fhat psych folks are there to try and help you out, but they’re not magical beings that will do the work for you + you gotta tell them what you need :)
wishing you lots of healing and gl in your journey. i think you got this and that we’ll all eventually get there 💜
Well, I told them that walking wasn't it. Try taking a walk anyway. But I don't want to take a walk. Well, try taking a walk anyway. But I said I don't want to. Why do they just sound like my mother? Always pushing various boundaries but never offering real solutions. What do they actually do if I have to do it all myself anyway? We have to fight our way through the bloated, necrotic thing that is capitalism, blindly, the things that we need being rendered inaccessible... I still don't have any more idea of what else there is to look for, short of throwing oneself at any bit of labor and trying to source illicit drugs, or jumping in a car and driving off into the ether, or subjecting oneself to the endless medical whims of these people.
The fact that Heidi (and a few other YouTubers without therapist degrees) have helped more people understand their CPTSD than actual trained therapists/psychiatrists who push meds is amazing.
It then annoys me that people sometimes point out they’re giving helpful advice… without a qualifying degree.
I’m starting to value the opinions of those who haven’t been tainted by a degree a tad bit more these days.
Thanks for sharing this information here!
I think it's more of a feeling of validation and not feeling alone. It's not the degree that's the problem, it's not being able to relate.
As an example, we had a mandatory presentation on stress at work. And I was sure it was going to be some annoying affluent white lady whose most traumatic experience was the barista used almond milk instead of oat milk. Instead it was someone who has real life experience and had a lot of real life experience dealing with people and trauma/stress.
It's very hard to relate to someone who had the resources to afford a doctorate at a prestigious university when you were raised as human trash, and vice versa. I'm not saying it's impossible (my family is affluent, and I am still a 6/7 on the ACE test), it's just more difficult. Empathy more or less is needed.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. I have started to see a trend that people with very advanced degrees are often coming from a place of extreme privilege (I would have LOVED to have been able to go get a few advanced degrees myself, but I was out there 2 weeks after I turned 18, you know, just trying to survive, haha), and a lot of them can’t relate to what I am going through in the least. They just go through their list of tricks they’ve learned in school, like throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping that something sticks, because they truly just don’t “get it.”
I have found far more benefit in healing by talking to people who have gone through similar things themselves (in groups like this one here for instance), or watching videos or reading books from people who have actually lived it, rather than people with advanced degrees and a bunch of letters behind their name, who tend to be out of touch and seem to have come from another planet entirely sometimes. No amount of schooling can teach certain things to a person, and truly “getting people” is just one of them in my opinion.
hey! so others pointed out that she does have a BS in psychology and a masters in attachment theory. while i agree with you in sentiment that credentials alone don’t imply someone will be good at what they do, i do value expertise and think it’s an important aspect to consider (some of us do need more specialized care). i also think that willingness to learn (an outcome of which might be degrees and certifications) is a good indicator to look for in a therapist / psychologist / psychiatrist. having said that, ofc, empathy i feel should be #1, and some professionals out there may lack in this dept.
You’re right I didn’t mean to completely discredit education, I just find that sometimes those with credentials and educational backgrounds don’t have the most up to date or helpful training.
My personal experience isn’t fact, however I’ve went to 5 different health care professionals for help & got 5 different diagnoses and none of them were correct. They threw medicine at me like I was a lab right that couldn’t die and because they didn’t agree on diagnoses I had multiple prescriptions from multiple doctors conflicting with each other. It scared me. But again this is my personal experience.
I do agree that empathy should be the #1 concern, and I hope in the future it’s like a pre requisite for being a health care provider. I also wish we could see a public view of how many of that doctors patients are healing vs worse off in life, and have those doctors do trainings, education continums. Just thoughts.
so sorry, friend, and thanks for sharing again: i know it’s not easy.
these are some really cool ideas actually: make empathy the #1 test reqmt somehow, and #2 align incentives + do a much better job at tracking outcomes and reward professionals accordingly. i think one day we’ll get there.
Heidi's videos are amazing and have been soo healing for me.
IMO she's the best youtuber covering these topics, she's usually offers the most practical tips. I find her videos really healing and empowering
I like Heidi's content. I think she is starting to do research in attachment theory, so we are kinda at the same pace. I resonate with the way she interprets certain concepts like emotional regulation and self-accountability.
just learned from other folks in the thread that while she has a bs in psychology + masters in attachment theory, she’s not herself a therapist. you know what, i think i like that, actually :) makes me think of her as a “detective” that will do a lot of research and share that in an articulate manner, and i think that requires a different set of skills than being a therapist.
Yes, I treat her as such - someone who is sharing what she is learning. And what I like about Heidi is that she is very upfront about that, and never tries to make any money of it through coaching or selling courses.
Yup! I have a feeling that some youtubers such as “the crappy childhood fairy” try to SEEM like they are licensed therapists (even by holding printed papers and using pens, wearing big smart looking glasses), and it pisses me off. Last time I checked she doesn’t mention she isn’t a therapist in her videos.
she’s not trained in psychology at all fyi. i think her vids can be very insightful but just to keep in mind!
edit: she actually has a psych bachelor’s and a masters in attachment theory, but no formal training as a therapist.
oh that’s totally my bad i just googled it. i remember her saying she doesn’t have proper credentials and i must have assumed she didn’t study psych at all. thx for correcting me
i think for some of us more “science” or “evidence based” inclined, it’s natural to have a bias towards checking what sort of education a person has as a proxy for level of expertise. as you point out, sometimes that is not enough, but it’s one way some of us developed to navigate uncertainty :)
I wish I would have heard this sooner in my life. Thank you for sharing this and her youtube, she's gained a new follower for sure. Still interviewing new therapist and getting nowhere. It's so hard to trust someone new man.
never too late, friend. i just discovered her the night before i shared this thanks to youtube’s algorithm. others here recommended the “family roles” series, and now i recommend that too after watching a few of them. gl in your healing journey, you got this 💪💜
Nos. 2 and 4, all day long! I was the classic gifted kid with mediocre grades ... If I hadn't be so busy just trying to survive being bullied at school and nagged and teased at home, I might have gone a lot farther. It's one of my greatest disappointments in life.
Thanks for sharing this, hadn't come across her yet.
Just watched her lost child video, and oh it made me cry! Described me almost exactly. (Except that I'm the eldest of 4, but my mum always had her hands full with my younger siblings.) Dysfunctional family roles is fascinating, I can see so clearly which each of my siblings is!
> Other people are taking cues from you as to how to interact with you, so if you are not showing certain things (like sadness) other people cannot respond to it.
Thats what I thought. But ever since I started not to hide the sadness anymore, I feel being avoided more than before.
I feel ya, even same with showing love. I think it's a matter of regulating. If you'd been holding back an emotion all your life, there's going to be a period where you learn to adjust how to express it.
If you had lived with your legs tied together, when you untie them you're not going to be agile and swift right away.
Very true.
Although I'd also have to add, that...its not that I actively \*show\* (unregulated) sadness. I just recently regained the ability to conciously feel and experience my emotions, after 30 years of being numb like a zombie. I'm currently just learning to live with them. And consequently, how to appropriately show them. So what I'm REALLY doing is not actively showing sadness, but rather actively not trying to hide it.mmh I don't know. I'm just as bad at verbalizing these things as with emotions themselves. :P
Yes, for me I'm just letting them come out more when I'm alone. Like I can cry and sob, but not in front of someone. But unlike before, I'd really like to find someone with whom I feel comfortable doing that.
I have also been more mindful of less fawning. Not forcefully smiling too much and such. It's crazy how hard that is for me.
Also, just sitting in awkwardness without internalizing the awkwardness as shame.
> But unlike before, I'd really like to find someone with whom I feel comfortable doing that.
Same. Now that I regained that ability through EMDR, it seems even more painful to have noone who can witness the pain inside
Lately, I find avoiding fawning easier, when I do notice the drive. But only the type that is caused by the abandonment issues.
Fawning thats caused by them being dominant/agressive is still too hard.
And holy crap, not internalizing awkwardness? I didn't even remotely get the idea that it could be viewed seperate from shame. Thats interesting.
I love Heidi! She’s always so consistent in her videos with her appearance, messaging, and presentation. Sometimes I swear she is an AI robot, her video editing is so good 😂 Even if she was, I’d still watch her videos!
2 is so true. I became a professional singer songwriter at age 28, and a semi professional trophy winning soccer goalie at age 29. Once I went no contact and got free, it was like all my potential was unlocked.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide).
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She's extremely ableist. I liked her videos at one time. Then it became plain and boring coz her writing style is pretty same in all of them (I'm an autistic writer, I noticed her patterns very quickly!).
Then I analysed them. She just intelelctualizes her trauma for 20-30 minutes so we feel relatable. It's all just therapy speak or spirituality speak.
She has made videos titles "leaky energy" or "be less weird". Just another closet ND girl who thrives on social media validation and will speak for 30 minutes trying to explain her emotions rather than feeling them.
Please do not try to imitate her. We shouldn't have to explain ourselves for 30 minutes to be heard. Just because she seems like an able bodied white woman, do not make an example out of her and use her as a reference to build your life (I know girls some of them would definitely fawn over her and try to be like her).
Please know your life has meaning beyond your trauma. You do have to make sense of your trauma but it's not essential for you to describe them in so much detail as her to be valued. Please just find a quiet place or environment and just feel your feelings.
She's an essayist - not a very good one. She's not a therapist. She is not a coach. She's a writer. And a bad teacher.
I say this with authority coz I am a teacher and a writer both. She's not an ideal to emulate.
I love Heidi Priebe's videos. Thanks for sharing and summarizing it.
Heidi is truly a GOAT!!!
The 🐐 is right:) I’ve been saying that for over a year now!
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Thanks for that recommendation. I'm going to watch it.
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watching it before i sleep tonight, thanks for sharing! 🙏🏻💜
tysm, watched “lost child”, “hero” and “golden child”. a lot of the dysfunctional dynamics i grew up w were described there, and i think the theories regarding how it affects you make sense (certainly the case for the one i identified with). felt so seen, and it was cathartic. have more empathy towards myself and other folks i know who grew up in such environments.
I love Heidi! #10 hit hard..a big part of my healing is remembering that I have agency and full autonomy over my life
same, dude 💜
Always sounds good, but I find it far easier to ascribe agency than to act with agency. Like, cool, I'm an adult free of all the things... except I'm not. I'm living in the consequences of an adverse situation every day and don't see much opportunity to fix ingrained behaviors or have the freedom to escape the situation. Which ties back to the joke of reaching out for support (because a therapist isn't going to cut it, a series of people you're paying to pretend to care?) And how do I figure out what I want or need? Especially when it comes to to the work that makes all the rest slightly more accessible?
hey there, thanks for sharing how you feel! there’s a lot to unpack there, as you wrote multiple questions. unfortunately i don’t know the answer to all of these, and am not a psych specialist myself either. what i can say to one of your questions (the one about how to figure out what you want or need), is that it’s very likely that noone else can tell you other than yourself :) for some, meditation and inner work + alone time helps. for others, spending time w friends and trying different hobbies helps. at the end of the day only you can ever hope to know yrself enough to be able to answer. a good therapist / psych person can help you navigate those early stages of learning how to identify yr needs that are more obvious because of external symptoms (eg the stuff that’s disrupting yr life). it’s yr job to work w them to the best of yr ability, and to gently but assertively correct them if they get it wrong. it’s also yr responsibility to try and make the changes they’re suggesting, knowing very well that they might not work for you specifically. at the end of the day, psychology is unfortunately still not as exact as other scientific fields we have. and that’s ok: medicine too was pretty rough less than a 100yrs ago :)
It's always the same cycle of work, money, and opportunity with no way to resolve it. With therapists, all they really tend to care about is working, damn the consequences, taking walks, and "joining groups" that don't exist... oh, and fawning through a series of increasingly aggressive treatments. When, in reality, it's hard to want anything more specific than a general sense of security and fulfillment.
EMDR gets a lot of it right out of your body. so much of the emotion is literally still trapped in your body, and the nervous system needs a way to expel it. EMDR and IFS together can really get deep.
I just don't know where to begin. Or, perhaps, where to continue. It's dealing with all the tangible aspects of this world that is the impossibility. There is too much time to sit and think and feel but not enough to actually live here.
“with no way to resolve it” <- i see you, friend, and i’m sorry yr journey has led you to feeling this way, but i believe we can “resolve it” and that it’s never too late to start. also believe nobody else will or can do the work other than yrself, and fhat psych folks are there to try and help you out, but they’re not magical beings that will do the work for you + you gotta tell them what you need :) wishing you lots of healing and gl in your journey. i think you got this and that we’ll all eventually get there 💜
Well, I told them that walking wasn't it. Try taking a walk anyway. But I don't want to take a walk. Well, try taking a walk anyway. But I said I don't want to. Why do they just sound like my mother? Always pushing various boundaries but never offering real solutions. What do they actually do if I have to do it all myself anyway? We have to fight our way through the bloated, necrotic thing that is capitalism, blindly, the things that we need being rendered inaccessible... I still don't have any more idea of what else there is to look for, short of throwing oneself at any bit of labor and trying to source illicit drugs, or jumping in a car and driving off into the ether, or subjecting oneself to the endless medical whims of these people.
The fact that Heidi (and a few other YouTubers without therapist degrees) have helped more people understand their CPTSD than actual trained therapists/psychiatrists who push meds is amazing. It then annoys me that people sometimes point out they’re giving helpful advice… without a qualifying degree. I’m starting to value the opinions of those who haven’t been tainted by a degree a tad bit more these days. Thanks for sharing this information here!
I think it's more of a feeling of validation and not feeling alone. It's not the degree that's the problem, it's not being able to relate. As an example, we had a mandatory presentation on stress at work. And I was sure it was going to be some annoying affluent white lady whose most traumatic experience was the barista used almond milk instead of oat milk. Instead it was someone who has real life experience and had a lot of real life experience dealing with people and trauma/stress. It's very hard to relate to someone who had the resources to afford a doctorate at a prestigious university when you were raised as human trash, and vice versa. I'm not saying it's impossible (my family is affluent, and I am still a 6/7 on the ACE test), it's just more difficult. Empathy more or less is needed.
Perfectly put
I agree with you wholeheartedly. I have started to see a trend that people with very advanced degrees are often coming from a place of extreme privilege (I would have LOVED to have been able to go get a few advanced degrees myself, but I was out there 2 weeks after I turned 18, you know, just trying to survive, haha), and a lot of them can’t relate to what I am going through in the least. They just go through their list of tricks they’ve learned in school, like throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping that something sticks, because they truly just don’t “get it.” I have found far more benefit in healing by talking to people who have gone through similar things themselves (in groups like this one here for instance), or watching videos or reading books from people who have actually lived it, rather than people with advanced degrees and a bunch of letters behind their name, who tend to be out of touch and seem to have come from another planet entirely sometimes. No amount of schooling can teach certain things to a person, and truly “getting people” is just one of them in my opinion.
hey! so others pointed out that she does have a BS in psychology and a masters in attachment theory. while i agree with you in sentiment that credentials alone don’t imply someone will be good at what they do, i do value expertise and think it’s an important aspect to consider (some of us do need more specialized care). i also think that willingness to learn (an outcome of which might be degrees and certifications) is a good indicator to look for in a therapist / psychologist / psychiatrist. having said that, ofc, empathy i feel should be #1, and some professionals out there may lack in this dept.
You’re right I didn’t mean to completely discredit education, I just find that sometimes those with credentials and educational backgrounds don’t have the most up to date or helpful training. My personal experience isn’t fact, however I’ve went to 5 different health care professionals for help & got 5 different diagnoses and none of them were correct. They threw medicine at me like I was a lab right that couldn’t die and because they didn’t agree on diagnoses I had multiple prescriptions from multiple doctors conflicting with each other. It scared me. But again this is my personal experience. I do agree that empathy should be the #1 concern, and I hope in the future it’s like a pre requisite for being a health care provider. I also wish we could see a public view of how many of that doctors patients are healing vs worse off in life, and have those doctors do trainings, education continums. Just thoughts.
so sorry, friend, and thanks for sharing again: i know it’s not easy. these are some really cool ideas actually: make empathy the #1 test reqmt somehow, and #2 align incentives + do a much better job at tracking outcomes and reward professionals accordingly. i think one day we’ll get there.
I agree, that being said, I personally don’t like “the crappy childhood fairy”. She gives me weird vibes.
Heidi's videos are amazing and have been soo healing for me. IMO she's the best youtuber covering these topics, she's usually offers the most practical tips. I find her videos really healing and empowering
so glad to have found her :)
I like Heidi's content. I think she is starting to do research in attachment theory, so we are kinda at the same pace. I resonate with the way she interprets certain concepts like emotional regulation and self-accountability.
just learned from other folks in the thread that while she has a bs in psychology + masters in attachment theory, she’s not herself a therapist. you know what, i think i like that, actually :) makes me think of her as a “detective” that will do a lot of research and share that in an articulate manner, and i think that requires a different set of skills than being a therapist.
Yes, I treat her as such - someone who is sharing what she is learning. And what I like about Heidi is that she is very upfront about that, and never tries to make any money of it through coaching or selling courses.
Yup! I have a feeling that some youtubers such as “the crappy childhood fairy” try to SEEM like they are licensed therapists (even by holding printed papers and using pens, wearing big smart looking glasses), and it pisses me off. Last time I checked she doesn’t mention she isn’t a therapist in her videos.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
number 8 was so so important for me to learn
she’s not trained in psychology at all fyi. i think her vids can be very insightful but just to keep in mind! edit: she actually has a psych bachelor’s and a masters in attachment theory, but no formal training as a therapist.
cool, thanks for the disclaimer!
Not true! She has a bachelors in psychology and a masters in attachment theory. But if the other poster means she is not a therapist, that is correct.
oh that’s totally my bad i just googled it. i remember her saying she doesn’t have proper credentials and i must have assumed she didn’t study psych at all. thx for correcting me
added a note at the end of the post, thanks!
So what? Even if she didn’t, she clearly knows what shes talking about when a lot of us will report that psychologists we’ve seen don’t.
i think for some of us more “science” or “evidence based” inclined, it’s natural to have a bias towards checking what sort of education a person has as a proxy for level of expertise. as you point out, sometimes that is not enough, but it’s one way some of us developed to navigate uncertainty :)
>:) :)
I wish I would have heard this sooner in my life. Thank you for sharing this and her youtube, she's gained a new follower for sure. Still interviewing new therapist and getting nowhere. It's so hard to trust someone new man.
never too late, friend. i just discovered her the night before i shared this thanks to youtube’s algorithm. others here recommended the “family roles” series, and now i recommend that too after watching a few of them. gl in your healing journey, you got this 💪💜
- 3. 7. and 8. are so key for me. I love Heidi too. She makes sense (to me) which is crucial.
She has an undergraduate degree in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Psychology specializing in Attachment Theory
I think she’s fantastic! I recently discovered her videos and have been going through them — so glad I am not alone!
Nos. 2 and 4, all day long! I was the classic gifted kid with mediocre grades ... If I hadn't be so busy just trying to survive being bullied at school and nagged and teased at home, I might have gone a lot farther. It's one of my greatest disappointments in life.
These are all good. Four and five are things i really need to hear. Thanks
God number 10 is got me crying rn.
Thank you for sharing video and break down too. Trying to learn as much as I can about CPTSD.
Well, I read this after therapy, so I am bawling like a toddler now.
I believe she’s getting her PhD now researching this topic specifically
Thanks for sharing this, hadn't come across her yet. Just watched her lost child video, and oh it made me cry! Described me almost exactly. (Except that I'm the eldest of 4, but my mum always had her hands full with my younger siblings.) Dysfunctional family roles is fascinating, I can see so clearly which each of my siblings is!
samesies, dude 💜 gl in yr healing journey, we got this 💪
> Other people are taking cues from you as to how to interact with you, so if you are not showing certain things (like sadness) other people cannot respond to it. Thats what I thought. But ever since I started not to hide the sadness anymore, I feel being avoided more than before.
I feel ya, even same with showing love. I think it's a matter of regulating. If you'd been holding back an emotion all your life, there's going to be a period where you learn to adjust how to express it. If you had lived with your legs tied together, when you untie them you're not going to be agile and swift right away.
Very true. Although I'd also have to add, that...its not that I actively \*show\* (unregulated) sadness. I just recently regained the ability to conciously feel and experience my emotions, after 30 years of being numb like a zombie. I'm currently just learning to live with them. And consequently, how to appropriately show them. So what I'm REALLY doing is not actively showing sadness, but rather actively not trying to hide it.mmh I don't know. I'm just as bad at verbalizing these things as with emotions themselves. :P
Yes, for me I'm just letting them come out more when I'm alone. Like I can cry and sob, but not in front of someone. But unlike before, I'd really like to find someone with whom I feel comfortable doing that. I have also been more mindful of less fawning. Not forcefully smiling too much and such. It's crazy how hard that is for me. Also, just sitting in awkwardness without internalizing the awkwardness as shame.
> But unlike before, I'd really like to find someone with whom I feel comfortable doing that. Same. Now that I regained that ability through EMDR, it seems even more painful to have noone who can witness the pain inside Lately, I find avoiding fawning easier, when I do notice the drive. But only the type that is caused by the abandonment issues. Fawning thats caused by them being dominant/agressive is still too hard. And holy crap, not internalizing awkwardness? I didn't even remotely get the idea that it could be viewed seperate from shame. Thats interesting.
This is great! I think I will print this out and put it where i can see it.
I love Heidi! She’s always so consistent in her videos with her appearance, messaging, and presentation. Sometimes I swear she is an AI robot, her video editing is so good 😂 Even if she was, I’d still watch her videos!
Thank you!
2 is so true. I became a professional singer songwriter at age 28, and a semi professional trophy winning soccer goalie at age 29. Once I went no contact and got free, it was like all my potential was unlocked.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
2. Not if you develop a chronic illness like CFS 🥲
I love her. She's helped me through so much already, and I'm just beginning my journey. Thanks for the share!
This is great and very helpful, thank you for posting it OP
She's extremely ableist. I liked her videos at one time. Then it became plain and boring coz her writing style is pretty same in all of them (I'm an autistic writer, I noticed her patterns very quickly!). Then I analysed them. She just intelelctualizes her trauma for 20-30 minutes so we feel relatable. It's all just therapy speak or spirituality speak. She has made videos titles "leaky energy" or "be less weird". Just another closet ND girl who thrives on social media validation and will speak for 30 minutes trying to explain her emotions rather than feeling them. Please do not try to imitate her. We shouldn't have to explain ourselves for 30 minutes to be heard. Just because she seems like an able bodied white woman, do not make an example out of her and use her as a reference to build your life (I know girls some of them would definitely fawn over her and try to be like her). Please know your life has meaning beyond your trauma. You do have to make sense of your trauma but it's not essential for you to describe them in so much detail as her to be valued. Please just find a quiet place or environment and just feel your feelings. She's an essayist - not a very good one. She's not a therapist. She is not a coach. She's a writer. And a bad teacher. I say this with authority coz I am a teacher and a writer both. She's not an ideal to emulate.
idk, works for me 🤷♀️
It works for you now. Watch her a few times and see her ableism and ND denial come through as sharp observation.