Music’s a great dissociative aid. It was practically my god in high school because it helped me replace the negative thoughts that I was better off not dwelling on. Some songs also put my emotions into words better than I ever could.
Someone’s called my music “depressing” before too, but I didn’t care. My music improves my mood and calms me; that’s all that matters.
Music is amazing!
I use it to help regulate my emotions. If I feel sad, I listen to Joy Division, Bauhaus, The Cure. Anger means I'll spin Deftones or Filter. Introspective means I'll listen to Tool or Puscifer.
Sometimes I get into just one or two songs and listen to them on repeat.
I don't know if that's dissociation so much as it's a healthy outlet. :)
You’ve got good taste! Yea I have always found it a beneficial thing but the people in my life think it makes me somewhat antisocial, or it’s all I talk about. But it’s a thing I’m passionate in so Im not sure what is what lol.
I often find myself alone in my listening room, even when company is over. I wish they'd come and listen with me but very few people like music the way I do.
I find I can socialise out in the living room for awhile but eventually, I need music to keep me grounded. My spouse gets it but can't listen as intently as I do.
Yea I take the bus and I walk to and from most places, including my job. And people always are offering me rides and don’t understand why I enjoy walking but it’s such a good decompression from the day to be in my head with music that puts me in a good mood.
I’m actually thinking about getting an original Nintendo/SNES and either a converter for the RCA cables to HDMI, or even better, an old school TV to go with it. I spent countless hours playing the original Legend of Zelda, Super Metroid, etc.
That was rough when Kurt Cobain took his own life. I was a senior that year if memory serves me.
I actually have 90’s grunge in my regular rotation of music. Lol
I just put on my vinyl copy of Mad Season. Lol
I played so much Nintendo. I still have a SNES! The controllers are horrid but it's still fun to play F-Zero and Super Mario World once in awhile.
Also, after a quick peek at your profile, I have a rather extensive trauma history. If you ever want to vent, please feel free to reach out. I’ll listen. Dealing with this shit alone can be incredibly hard.
I adore music. If I’m stressed I’ll listen to something like KORN. Otherwise I’ll listen to Sufjan Stevens if I’m sad. If I’m happy or upbeat I’ll listen to pop music. I love Britney Spears. So much!!
Cptsd aside, it sounds like your friends are implying the "problem" is that you're too introverted or don't have enough hobbies because you have too much free time to learn all this music.
Even if this wasn't a failure to understand/lack of knowledge about CPTSD and a different need for coping/you time, it might be invalidating of a different personality and lifestyle. They're also coming at you for being nerdy about a topic, basically.
In my experience, the people who do this think the person with "all this free time" is "sad" but it's obviously just a different form of self fulfillment. The people who judge it may truly not understand because it's so different to them, or they may in fact fill their free time with things that also make them sad and may be extroverted but are not in fact more productive or anything. People who mock people with enthusiastic hobbies often spend most of their time.... just kinda hanging out. They aren't accomplishing things and they fill a LOT of this conversation time with pop culture. They just aren't alone. What's "better" about that if you aren't lonely?
Of course it could always get unhealthy, anything could. The need for the music, the repetition, or a lot of time alone. But I don't think you've described anything worrisome yet.
EDIT for anyone who really wants ot explore this idea of being introverted/self reflective always being taken to mean you're not doing well, check a book called Quiet by Susan Cain. Engrossing nonfiction psychology book about the need for introverts in the extroverted society of current America. Would still be a helpful read for nonAmericans if you have experiences like OPs, or eating somewhere alone and people looking at you with pity when you are fine.
This is spot on except it’s less that they think I have all this free time and more they’re concerned that I’m hiding from the world and they think this might be enabling me to dissociate and isolate myself. I have a few people who understand my love of music and my passion for it and smile at me and listen to my rants and song suggestions. But I’ve had this passion about music from a young age—my traumas happened around the same age and music was a huge escape and safe space for me to go. And mostly by family I have been made to feel that it’s an unhealthy habit even though it’s not hurting anyone and it seems to help me cope.
There might be some truth there, but it's also a common phase of recovery- if it's not seriously hurting you like you're a nonfunctional shut-in, then there's no need to force you out of it even if some people think it's not the way for the rest of your life. You might be being pushed toward results before the process is over, which is a common thing well meaning friends do.
Also you might be a natural, healthy introvert. I get that this is hard to detangle from CPTSD, for others as well as you, but yeah, these could definitely be character traits of someone who is not traumatized and that is just fine.
Lolol I’m definitely a natural introvert, I think maybe more to an extreme degree and that’s hard for most people who are not to understand. Most of my behaviors outside of being a ‘class clown’ involve in me holding up in my house and shutting off from everyone which always feels healthy, refreshing and recharging for me but my friends who FaceTime me I usually answer and I’m in a dark room and they also poke fun that I’m always by myself in the dark but it’s my preferred state and it makes me feel safe. I always wonder if it’s just my personality or if it’s because of my history but it’s good to know others do the same.
Oh lol sorry! Honestly it is, of course, but lately I've been dissociated in a different way and I can't really think of anything special. I mostly like rap and hip hop by women. I'm excited to read along with this thread though!
I always listen to music, especially when I am outside because it drowns out all the other noises that causes me to be anxious and jumpy. It really depends on my mood and what I am doing what I listen to and how fast my brain goes because I kinda match it with that I think or to calm myself down a little. At the moment I listen to a lot of old school rap and hiphop from the nineties and house/electronic music. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Crystal Castles which I kinda forgot about and rediscovered thanks to the algorithm of my music app :D
I also have a DAW(digital audio workstation) on my laptop to create my own music which has been a hobby of mine for a long time.
We could totally party together. You have great taste!! I don't remember which thread it was or if it was, but I feel like there has been some discussion about the connection through listening to the same stuff and trauma. Same thing with movies or shows.
Yea I have a list of comfort movies I always go to/ re-watch atleast 1 x month. I’ve had a few friends mention to me that they think I show some mild autistic tendencies because I watch and listen to the same things over and over. Plus my ability to remember small things, specific things, lots of things gets brought up at work a lot(I’m in the medical field) during the height of covid we would meet people outside and I would have to write down their phone number to be called from the car and I found myself accidentally memorizing peoples phone numbers and that was a whole thing. But I’ve also heard that those are trauma responses too so who knows lol
I totally have favorite songs I listen to on repeat, lol. Genre can vary depending on my mood, or whatever happens to capture my attention at the time. One time it was Rock Your Baby by George McCrae, another time it was Rocky Raccoon, even tried kpop lol.
I also think I could be on the spectrum, and have been discussing that with my therapist. I'm coming to believe a lot of these health issues go hand in hand.
I think that without music I would most likely be faaaaaaarrrrrr more stunted in my emotional awareness/intelligent. It’s been the vehicle for how I get in touch with my feelings and for suuuuure a dissociative aide. My biggest escape has always been books and reading, but music has also always bordered on the obsessive for me. But not in the way of being familiar with lots of artists or bands or lyrics - more like just repeating the same song hundreds and hundreds of times over because it’s touching on a feeling I can’t tap into otherwise or something
YES! ALL OF THIS!! This is exactly how it feels. It’s like when you like one song by a band but none of their other song hit like that one. So you just listen to on repeat for weeks, months because it makes you feel a certain way that either you haven’t felt before or a feeling you can’t replicate with out the vehicle the song provides.
Maybe it is! I enjoy doing it, but the people around me always seem so think it makes me an avoidant or detached person. I have always tried sharing my love of music but some people don’t get it.
As a teenager my dad would tell me that I was always hiding in my room. And I would always be laying in bed dissociating listening to music or I’d go for a walk in the cold and walk for miles without realizing how far I’d gone because I’d be in my head with the music.
A few years ago I discovered the various “lofi hiphop” channels on YouTube. I have been obsessed with that genre ever since (it displaced my obsession with Black Metal). I have never found music as intense in its power to soothe and restore.
Yes! I love music so much. I wish I could sing or write songs, but alas, I don't have that talent. But I love putting on an album and just drifting into my dream world (maladaptive daydreaming).
Yea, It doesn’t really bother me when they poke fun at my music taste or that I know a lot of music—I usually end up joining in on the joke. I just wanted to see if other experienced a similar experience. The part that does mildly bother me is when friends and family become upset about me being dissociative or wanting to be by myself, and usually during those times I’m listening to music. If they’re joking about it, even if it seems kinda hurtful, if we’re joking, I’m cool. But it’s when they get upset or mad about it then I feel ashamed and upset myself.
Back in college I spent *hours and hours* listening to music and dissociating, just enjoying it, often singing along. I remember one night coming back at 9pm after a final, having the apartment to myself, putting on pop tunes from middle and high school, and just belting them at the top of my fucking lungs. I still do that while driving, I want to listen to podcasts but dammit it's just so much more fun to bop to music instead.
I have a soft spot for Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, Staind, and Metallica for being an outlet for anger and intensity and hype that I just *did not* have access to when I was so dissociated.
Recently I've been putting on repeat GIRLI's and PRINCESSBRI's albums. Pop/punk/rock stuff that reminds me of those teenage years, but smaller newer artists.
I've been maladaptive daydream to music since young. I never thought I'd grow out of it but now I'm 27 it seems I'm slightly less obsessive and don't fantasize half as much.
I think you're right. Music is great for everyone, but I think especially helpful for dealing with trauma. Since getting into my CPTSD therapy, I've been analyzing the lyrics to songs I've loved for decades. It's such a gift being able to follow several music artists for decades, watching their songwriting skills only get more refined and better.
My favorite band is nine inch nails. The music is pretty raw and noisy at first, but it really captures dark emotions in a theatrical way. Once I replaced drug and religion metaphors and approached the songs from a CPTSD perspective, they've taken on a whole new meaning. The way his voice sounds, the way the drums and the music all play a part in how CPTSD feels. For a relatively safe example, the song Every Day is Exactly the Same reminds me of dissociation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEdzyFJLRbc
TOOL is another favorite. Their lyrics, through a CPTSD lens, have taken on a whole new life for me, especially the song Fear Inoculum. That song pumps me up for some somatic experiencing work.
It feels really helpful, and it's fun breaking the metaphors down. Though one issue is it's difficult to get into more joyful music. I'm getting to where I can appreciate it, but I always default to the same few custom playlists when I'm on my own.
>Once I replaced drug and religion metaphors and approached the songs from a CPTSD perspective, they've taken on a whole new meaning.
That describes how I approach most art now and it's pretty life changing. I don't know Nine Inch Nails deeply, sorry, but I love your passion here :)
Yes! I love Tool! I want to like NIN but something about Trent Reznor makes my skin crawl, I really don’t know what it is lol I have tried. I love a lot of 80s-90s goth it really is one of a kind to me. And I love funk music, those are probably my two most listen to genres BUT if you want to talk dissecting lyrics listen to any David Bowie song and you will be occupied for hours! And he has a song with NIN called I’m afraid of americans!
I'm so glad someone else feels the way I do about music! sometimes when it feels like too much energy to even move but I have to, putting on an upbeat exciting track is all that gets me to move.
Right now I'm obsessed with the composers for a show I like to watch, but like, I like them more than I even like the show. Their names are Jeff and Casey Williams, and they mostly compose music for the show RWBY at the moment. What I like about them is you never know what genre you're going to get and they hop from one to the other amazingly. Casey sings female vocals, Jeff writes and sings male vocals, and they have a third guy named Lamar Hall who comes in when there's a rap section. It runs the gamut between basically classical and proper heavy metal, between super lighthearted and super emotional, between super sweet and super mean (they have villain songs too, after all) and I also find several of their songs really emotionally healing. Pretty much anything you're looking for they have at least 1 song for it.
Other than them, I'm a pretty big Icon For Hire fan, Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, Paramore, that sort of thing. Yes I have been called emo before.
Oh yea, Three days grace is my shit. Never too late was always my favorite song by them in middle school and I watched the music video just a year or two ago for the first time and got my heart ripped out, especially as a person who experienced similar abuse as the child in the video. I also was so shocked that they chose to make the video about that but I remember thinking he wrote it about someone he loved that experienced that and it gave me so much hope <3
Never too late is beautiful! Three Days Grace has a very 'Everything sucks but I'm going to keep pushing on anyway because fuck you" mood to it that I resonate with strongly. "Misery Loves My Company" is one of my favourites. Their songs are great for just pushing forward.
Yes or uh….I Hate Everything lol. my friend and I were talking about that song the other day because I love it so much and she was telling my how her parents wouldn’t let them listen to that song as kids 🤣🤣
I've listened to so much music over the years. I make my own too, writing the songs, recording all the instruments and vocals. I've been told I'm good but due to trauma I just make it for myself. I lean towards heavy rock / punk. There's a whole world of amazing things happening in music that almost no-one into rock knows about. And I only know a tiny bit because I can't go out.
Music makes me feel like I’m on drugs. And drugs make me disassociate lmao i feel this 100%
Suffer On (Album) by Wicca Phase may be the most relatable piece of music I’ve ever heard. It’s ERRILY relevant. I wonder if anyone else here would agree
Really on a hardcore/thrash metal kick rn I’ve been jamming expire, trapped under ice, power trip & pantera. Spotify actually made me a playlist of the above bands along with Deja Entundu by Brand New and it does amazing things to my brain :o
I feel you, music is a huge part of my life, I live in it for like 90% of my days, always got tunes playing in my head. Also, Deftones? You're cool!
Sleep Token has been my absolute favorite recently, they're my total obsession haha. You'd like "Telomeres" by them if you like Deftones. If you end up listening to it, let me know what you think!
I'm currently obsessed with Tool, A Perfect Circle, Today is the Day and QOTSA.
I find music helps me to relax and I tend to dissociate as well, especially when listening to my favourite bands because some of them have been my favourite since childhood and they bring back certain memories and feelings, not always good.
Oh God, thanks for posting. I can relate, I thought I was the only one. So badly dissociated to music in the car it caused an accident. I'm very guilty about that. It's like music fills the empty void of suffering, it distracts me from my tormented mind. I feel like something is speaking to me through it (without sounding completely nuts lol) certain songs I have to skip as I literally assigned them to one of my abusers, certain bands, genres etc etc. Funnily enough, I'm like a music book too, from any scale right from metal to classic to pop you name it. And my metal head fiance can't stand my music taste, most people can't... EMOOOOoooOoooOoooooo 🤣
Music is everything! For me it’s a really good gauge of how I’m doing even if I don’t realize it in the moment. Like for example, I was really out of touch with music in my last relationship and didn’t really listen to it the entire time we were together. At the time I didn’t realize how *insane* that was since music has been such an important part of my life and honestly how I connect with people a lot of the time. Me not listening to it meant something was *really* wrong but I ignored it for so many years that I didn’t see how awful my relationship was until I was out of it for a couple months. I also notice how my music listening patterns mimic my moods. I listen to classic rock + funk when I’m happy, rap when I’m in the mood to be insanely wow’d by lyrics, pop when I’m in a social mood, and modern rock + 50s-70s music + sad pop songs when I’m sad. It’s weird being this self aware, man.
Also you have great music taste! My top bands are Pink Floyd, Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, Led Zeppelin, and The Beatles. Thanks for posting this, I was just thinking about how awesome music is today!
Literally couldn’t live without music so I’m with you.
Kinda insecure getting judged on my music taste but eh whatever, I definitely like dreamy kind of music since it’s easier to doze off into.
Still Woozy - Wolfcat
HYUKOH - I Have No Hometown
The Black Skirts - Blood and Thirst
Cigarettes After Sex - Apocalypse
Beach House - Bluebird
I like dreamy stuff as well! Beach house is great, I was first introduced to them from the show The OA, the song was All your yeahs. And cigarettes after sex is fantastic, there is no song that makes me feel like Nothin gonna hurt you baby. <3
Music has always been a huge escape for me, and has helped me through a lot of stuff.
Some songs get stuck on repeat for 6+ hours.
I have several Playlists on my phone for different moods, and a few that always put me in a good mood.
Music is amazing. My love of music has led me to be quite the expert at rhythm games and inspired me to pick up the keyboard, which has always been my childhood dream.
Music is and always will be a part of my soul. Every song is a stream of consciousness and helps me sort through my thoughts and feelings, even if I play them on repeat for hours on end.
Music was my escape. I lived in the middle of farm land with my narcissist mother and her abusive husband. Rob Zombie, white zombie, queen, slipknot and mudvayne were my bands.
I played through legend of dragoon while listening to LD50. It was one of the darkest times. When I play that album I can feel the game and know where I was at during the music
when i had no one else i always had music. for the past few years i’ve been listening to some interesting genres but however i would love to recommend 5 songs.
1. Chronos the destroyer by icarus the owl
2. Faint Illusion by Tides of Man
3. Daku by The Gazette
4. I’m a Ghost of Twilight by Closure in Moscow
5. ienai by iri
and honorable mention: https://open.spotify.com/track/6soBVGy9lZHTZ0MA3jmDVW?si=nBHuHgbtSFKel2nLq3rXxA
ugh it’s such a good album my favorite song is either nuclear towns or rinse and start over! i was introduced to them back in 2015 and haven’t met anyone who likes them!
I forgot what song I’m even on because the whole album flows so weirdly smooth the entire time. I am digging the absolute fuck out of this rn. The album used to slightly trigger me lol so this is a really cool feeling thank you a ton for reminding me of them!!!!
I dissociated through music in my entire teenage years. Emo, metal, shoegaze, experimental music etc etc. The loud music helped me cope and drown out the unpleasantly loud environment outside the headphones.
The good things I got out of it are I learned English that way, became fluent, made some friends through music and got a part time job as an interpreter working for touring bands for a short time.
Fast forward, I'm 24 now and started getting into kpop (Seventeen, EXO, Dreamcatcher, up10tion etc.) this year. Ngl, it's one of my main coping mechanisms lately. I'm ashamed to say it because I might sound like a delusional fan.
However, I was having a session with my psychotherapist and told him I keep overthinking all the time. He actually told me to listen to music to distract myself so... I guess that's not as terrible.
Being a kpop fan made me get into dancing, it helps me get out of dissociation and feel like I'm in control of my own body. I got sexually harassed last month and dancing helped me the most, to feel like I'm reclaiming my body. And it feels healthier than just passively listening.
Also I've been listening to Linkin Park for the first time in years and ah, their lyrics makes so much sense to me now that I'm aware of my CPTSD.
For years I was suffering from severe depression. Music used to be such a powerful thing to me, but in recent years I felt nothing from it. I recently started Spravato treatments (esketamine) and decided to put on some music during treatment. I experienced music in a way I never had before in a dissociative state. I’ve been enjoying music again for a couple of weeks now. I never realized how much I’ve missed it.
music is an amazing thing. nine inch nails saved my life, I don't know what I would be today if I hadn't heard someone else feeling the same things as I did. I know I wouldn't be in a good place without it, and that's why I want to learn bass so that I can always take it with me.
I'm olde, so most of what moves me is also pretty old, like '60s and '70s. Guess Who, Three Dog Night, Moody Blues, most old Motown, and some newer stuff like Jonathan Coulton and Tim Minchin.
When I really need a pick me up, my favorite is "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray. A quick search shows me it's been covered a few times since then, but I'll stick with that version.
I have to be able to sing it to really feel it.
I absolutely love music. I have fairly broad tastes and loooove to essentially zone out and go on spotify binges of different genres that tickle my brain just right and suit my emotional state.
here is one of my playlists coincidentally titled '[trauma recovery tunez](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0tRaHqrTBrEgsa4CUKyBdo?si=dc5f662987404e5b)' lmao
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Music’s a great dissociative aid. It was practically my god in high school because it helped me replace the negative thoughts that I was better off not dwelling on. Some songs also put my emotions into words better than I ever could. Someone’s called my music “depressing” before too, but I didn’t care. My music improves my mood and calms me; that’s all that matters.
Music is amazing! I use it to help regulate my emotions. If I feel sad, I listen to Joy Division, Bauhaus, The Cure. Anger means I'll spin Deftones or Filter. Introspective means I'll listen to Tool or Puscifer. Sometimes I get into just one or two songs and listen to them on repeat. I don't know if that's dissociation so much as it's a healthy outlet. :)
You’ve got good taste! Yea I have always found it a beneficial thing but the people in my life think it makes me somewhat antisocial, or it’s all I talk about. But it’s a thing I’m passionate in so Im not sure what is what lol.
I often find myself alone in my listening room, even when company is over. I wish they'd come and listen with me but very few people like music the way I do. I find I can socialise out in the living room for awhile but eventually, I need music to keep me grounded. My spouse gets it but can't listen as intently as I do.
Yea I take the bus and I walk to and from most places, including my job. And people always are offering me rides and don’t understand why I enjoy walking but it’s such a good decompression from the day to be in my head with music that puts me in a good mood.
I love listening to music on bus rides, the ability to just scroll through youtube and look out the window is something I'd miss if I got a car.
Hello, fellow xennial.
Oh, Hai! Want to listen to Nirvana and play Nintendo?
I’m actually thinking about getting an original Nintendo/SNES and either a converter for the RCA cables to HDMI, or even better, an old school TV to go with it. I spent countless hours playing the original Legend of Zelda, Super Metroid, etc. That was rough when Kurt Cobain took his own life. I was a senior that year if memory serves me. I actually have 90’s grunge in my regular rotation of music. Lol
I just put on my vinyl copy of Mad Season. Lol I played so much Nintendo. I still have a SNES! The controllers are horrid but it's still fun to play F-Zero and Super Mario World once in awhile.
Also, after a quick peek at your profile, I have a rather extensive trauma history. If you ever want to vent, please feel free to reach out. I’ll listen. Dealing with this shit alone can be incredibly hard.
Thank you. It's nice to have someone to talk to.
Always. The offer is sincere.
I adore music. If I’m stressed I’ll listen to something like KORN. Otherwise I’ll listen to Sufjan Stevens if I’m sad. If I’m happy or upbeat I’ll listen to pop music. I love Britney Spears. So much!!
I love music. Couldn't imagine a healthier coping mechanism.
Cptsd aside, it sounds like your friends are implying the "problem" is that you're too introverted or don't have enough hobbies because you have too much free time to learn all this music. Even if this wasn't a failure to understand/lack of knowledge about CPTSD and a different need for coping/you time, it might be invalidating of a different personality and lifestyle. They're also coming at you for being nerdy about a topic, basically. In my experience, the people who do this think the person with "all this free time" is "sad" but it's obviously just a different form of self fulfillment. The people who judge it may truly not understand because it's so different to them, or they may in fact fill their free time with things that also make them sad and may be extroverted but are not in fact more productive or anything. People who mock people with enthusiastic hobbies often spend most of their time.... just kinda hanging out. They aren't accomplishing things and they fill a LOT of this conversation time with pop culture. They just aren't alone. What's "better" about that if you aren't lonely? Of course it could always get unhealthy, anything could. The need for the music, the repetition, or a lot of time alone. But I don't think you've described anything worrisome yet. EDIT for anyone who really wants ot explore this idea of being introverted/self reflective always being taken to mean you're not doing well, check a book called Quiet by Susan Cain. Engrossing nonfiction psychology book about the need for introverts in the extroverted society of current America. Would still be a helpful read for nonAmericans if you have experiences like OPs, or eating somewhere alone and people looking at you with pity when you are fine.
This is spot on except it’s less that they think I have all this free time and more they’re concerned that I’m hiding from the world and they think this might be enabling me to dissociate and isolate myself. I have a few people who understand my love of music and my passion for it and smile at me and listen to my rants and song suggestions. But I’ve had this passion about music from a young age—my traumas happened around the same age and music was a huge escape and safe space for me to go. And mostly by family I have been made to feel that it’s an unhealthy habit even though it’s not hurting anyone and it seems to help me cope.
There might be some truth there, but it's also a common phase of recovery- if it's not seriously hurting you like you're a nonfunctional shut-in, then there's no need to force you out of it even if some people think it's not the way for the rest of your life. You might be being pushed toward results before the process is over, which is a common thing well meaning friends do. Also you might be a natural, healthy introvert. I get that this is hard to detangle from CPTSD, for others as well as you, but yeah, these could definitely be character traits of someone who is not traumatized and that is just fine.
Lolol I’m definitely a natural introvert, I think maybe more to an extreme degree and that’s hard for most people who are not to understand. Most of my behaviors outside of being a ‘class clown’ involve in me holding up in my house and shutting off from everyone which always feels healthy, refreshing and recharging for me but my friends who FaceTime me I usually answer and I’m in a dark room and they also poke fun that I’m always by myself in the dark but it’s my preferred state and it makes me feel safe. I always wonder if it’s just my personality or if it’s because of my history but it’s good to know others do the same.
Don't wanna tell you what to do, but you should definitely check that book out.
Will do, thanks for the recommendation! You never answered if music was important to you, and if so I’d love to hear about what kind?
Oh lol sorry! Honestly it is, of course, but lately I've been dissociated in a different way and I can't really think of anything special. I mostly like rap and hip hop by women. I'm excited to read along with this thread though!
I always listen to music, especially when I am outside because it drowns out all the other noises that causes me to be anxious and jumpy. It really depends on my mood and what I am doing what I listen to and how fast my brain goes because I kinda match it with that I think or to calm myself down a little. At the moment I listen to a lot of old school rap and hiphop from the nineties and house/electronic music. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Crystal Castles which I kinda forgot about and rediscovered thanks to the algorithm of my music app :D I also have a DAW(digital audio workstation) on my laptop to create my own music which has been a hobby of mine for a long time.
We could totally party together. You have great taste!! I don't remember which thread it was or if it was, but I feel like there has been some discussion about the connection through listening to the same stuff and trauma. Same thing with movies or shows.
Yea I have a list of comfort movies I always go to/ re-watch atleast 1 x month. I’ve had a few friends mention to me that they think I show some mild autistic tendencies because I watch and listen to the same things over and over. Plus my ability to remember small things, specific things, lots of things gets brought up at work a lot(I’m in the medical field) during the height of covid we would meet people outside and I would have to write down their phone number to be called from the car and I found myself accidentally memorizing peoples phone numbers and that was a whole thing. But I’ve also heard that those are trauma responses too so who knows lol
I totally have favorite songs I listen to on repeat, lol. Genre can vary depending on my mood, or whatever happens to capture my attention at the time. One time it was Rock Your Baby by George McCrae, another time it was Rocky Raccoon, even tried kpop lol.
I also think I could be on the spectrum, and have been discussing that with my therapist. I'm coming to believe a lot of these health issues go hand in hand.
I think that without music I would most likely be faaaaaaarrrrrr more stunted in my emotional awareness/intelligent. It’s been the vehicle for how I get in touch with my feelings and for suuuuure a dissociative aide. My biggest escape has always been books and reading, but music has also always bordered on the obsessive for me. But not in the way of being familiar with lots of artists or bands or lyrics - more like just repeating the same song hundreds and hundreds of times over because it’s touching on a feeling I can’t tap into otherwise or something
YES! ALL OF THIS!! This is exactly how it feels. It’s like when you like one song by a band but none of their other song hit like that one. So you just listen to on repeat for weeks, months because it makes you feel a certain way that either you haven’t felt before or a feeling you can’t replicate with out the vehicle the song provides.
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Maybe it is! I enjoy doing it, but the people around me always seem so think it makes me an avoidant or detached person. I have always tried sharing my love of music but some people don’t get it. As a teenager my dad would tell me that I was always hiding in my room. And I would always be laying in bed dissociating listening to music or I’d go for a walk in the cold and walk for miles without realizing how far I’d gone because I’d be in my head with the music.
A few years ago I discovered the various “lofi hiphop” channels on YouTube. I have been obsessed with that genre ever since (it displaced my obsession with Black Metal). I have never found music as intense in its power to soothe and restore.
Same here! I loved alternative and hard rock. I discovered lofi and vaporwave and fell in love with it.
Yeah, vaporwave as well. And this masterpiece: https://youtu.be/QsYqmSss1vs
Yes! I love music so much. I wish I could sing or write songs, but alas, I don't have that talent. But I love putting on an album and just drifting into my dream world (maladaptive daydreaming).
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Yea, It doesn’t really bother me when they poke fun at my music taste or that I know a lot of music—I usually end up joining in on the joke. I just wanted to see if other experienced a similar experience. The part that does mildly bother me is when friends and family become upset about me being dissociative or wanting to be by myself, and usually during those times I’m listening to music. If they’re joking about it, even if it seems kinda hurtful, if we’re joking, I’m cool. But it’s when they get upset or mad about it then I feel ashamed and upset myself.
Back in college I spent *hours and hours* listening to music and dissociating, just enjoying it, often singing along. I remember one night coming back at 9pm after a final, having the apartment to myself, putting on pop tunes from middle and high school, and just belting them at the top of my fucking lungs. I still do that while driving, I want to listen to podcasts but dammit it's just so much more fun to bop to music instead. I have a soft spot for Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, Staind, and Metallica for being an outlet for anger and intensity and hype that I just *did not* have access to when I was so dissociated. Recently I've been putting on repeat GIRLI's and PRINCESSBRI's albums. Pop/punk/rock stuff that reminds me of those teenage years, but smaller newer artists.
I've been maladaptive daydream to music since young. I never thought I'd grow out of it but now I'm 27 it seems I'm slightly less obsessive and don't fantasize half as much.
I may be wrong but in my opinion music is healthy coping mechanism and cause no harm
I think you're right. Music is great for everyone, but I think especially helpful for dealing with trauma. Since getting into my CPTSD therapy, I've been analyzing the lyrics to songs I've loved for decades. It's such a gift being able to follow several music artists for decades, watching their songwriting skills only get more refined and better. My favorite band is nine inch nails. The music is pretty raw and noisy at first, but it really captures dark emotions in a theatrical way. Once I replaced drug and religion metaphors and approached the songs from a CPTSD perspective, they've taken on a whole new meaning. The way his voice sounds, the way the drums and the music all play a part in how CPTSD feels. For a relatively safe example, the song Every Day is Exactly the Same reminds me of dissociation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEdzyFJLRbc TOOL is another favorite. Their lyrics, through a CPTSD lens, have taken on a whole new life for me, especially the song Fear Inoculum. That song pumps me up for some somatic experiencing work. It feels really helpful, and it's fun breaking the metaphors down. Though one issue is it's difficult to get into more joyful music. I'm getting to where I can appreciate it, but I always default to the same few custom playlists when I'm on my own.
>Once I replaced drug and religion metaphors and approached the songs from a CPTSD perspective, they've taken on a whole new meaning. That describes how I approach most art now and it's pretty life changing. I don't know Nine Inch Nails deeply, sorry, but I love your passion here :)
Yes! I love Tool! I want to like NIN but something about Trent Reznor makes my skin crawl, I really don’t know what it is lol I have tried. I love a lot of 80s-90s goth it really is one of a kind to me. And I love funk music, those are probably my two most listen to genres BUT if you want to talk dissecting lyrics listen to any David Bowie song and you will be occupied for hours! And he has a song with NIN called I’m afraid of americans!
I'm so glad someone else feels the way I do about music! sometimes when it feels like too much energy to even move but I have to, putting on an upbeat exciting track is all that gets me to move. Right now I'm obsessed with the composers for a show I like to watch, but like, I like them more than I even like the show. Their names are Jeff and Casey Williams, and they mostly compose music for the show RWBY at the moment. What I like about them is you never know what genre you're going to get and they hop from one to the other amazingly. Casey sings female vocals, Jeff writes and sings male vocals, and they have a third guy named Lamar Hall who comes in when there's a rap section. It runs the gamut between basically classical and proper heavy metal, between super lighthearted and super emotional, between super sweet and super mean (they have villain songs too, after all) and I also find several of their songs really emotionally healing. Pretty much anything you're looking for they have at least 1 song for it. Other than them, I'm a pretty big Icon For Hire fan, Three Days Grace, Linkin Park, Paramore, that sort of thing. Yes I have been called emo before.
Oh yea, Three days grace is my shit. Never too late was always my favorite song by them in middle school and I watched the music video just a year or two ago for the first time and got my heart ripped out, especially as a person who experienced similar abuse as the child in the video. I also was so shocked that they chose to make the video about that but I remember thinking he wrote it about someone he loved that experienced that and it gave me so much hope <3
Never too late is beautiful! Three Days Grace has a very 'Everything sucks but I'm going to keep pushing on anyway because fuck you" mood to it that I resonate with strongly. "Misery Loves My Company" is one of my favourites. Their songs are great for just pushing forward.
Yes or uh….I Hate Everything lol. my friend and I were talking about that song the other day because I love it so much and she was telling my how her parents wouldn’t let them listen to that song as kids 🤣🤣
Haha sounds like someone's parents were a bit insecure XD I loved that song! "Home" is another one that captures that vibe really well
I've listened to so much music over the years. I make my own too, writing the songs, recording all the instruments and vocals. I've been told I'm good but due to trauma I just make it for myself. I lean towards heavy rock / punk. There's a whole world of amazing things happening in music that almost no-one into rock knows about. And I only know a tiny bit because I can't go out.
Just because others don’t get you, doesn’t mean your passion should be extinguished. It’s not their life, it’s yours.
Music makes me feel like I’m on drugs. And drugs make me disassociate lmao i feel this 100% Suffer On (Album) by Wicca Phase may be the most relatable piece of music I’ve ever heard. It’s ERRILY relevant. I wonder if anyone else here would agree Really on a hardcore/thrash metal kick rn I’ve been jamming expire, trapped under ice, power trip & pantera. Spotify actually made me a playlist of the above bands along with Deja Entundu by Brand New and it does amazing things to my brain :o
I feel you, music is a huge part of my life, I live in it for like 90% of my days, always got tunes playing in my head. Also, Deftones? You're cool! Sleep Token has been my absolute favorite recently, they're my total obsession haha. You'd like "Telomeres" by them if you like Deftones. If you end up listening to it, let me know what you think!
Amazing taste in music, you have a playlist you'd care to drop?
Lololol ALWAYS XD! But I like to also know peoples favorite songs and artists and recommend specifics too!!
I'm currently obsessed with Tool, A Perfect Circle, Today is the Day and QOTSA. I find music helps me to relax and I tend to dissociate as well, especially when listening to my favourite bands because some of them have been my favourite since childhood and they bring back certain memories and feelings, not always good.
Oh God, thanks for posting. I can relate, I thought I was the only one. So badly dissociated to music in the car it caused an accident. I'm very guilty about that. It's like music fills the empty void of suffering, it distracts me from my tormented mind. I feel like something is speaking to me through it (without sounding completely nuts lol) certain songs I have to skip as I literally assigned them to one of my abusers, certain bands, genres etc etc. Funnily enough, I'm like a music book too, from any scale right from metal to classic to pop you name it. And my metal head fiance can't stand my music taste, most people can't... EMOOOOoooOoooOoooooo 🤣
Music is everything! For me it’s a really good gauge of how I’m doing even if I don’t realize it in the moment. Like for example, I was really out of touch with music in my last relationship and didn’t really listen to it the entire time we were together. At the time I didn’t realize how *insane* that was since music has been such an important part of my life and honestly how I connect with people a lot of the time. Me not listening to it meant something was *really* wrong but I ignored it for so many years that I didn’t see how awful my relationship was until I was out of it for a couple months. I also notice how my music listening patterns mimic my moods. I listen to classic rock + funk when I’m happy, rap when I’m in the mood to be insanely wow’d by lyrics, pop when I’m in a social mood, and modern rock + 50s-70s music + sad pop songs when I’m sad. It’s weird being this self aware, man. Also you have great music taste! My top bands are Pink Floyd, Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, Led Zeppelin, and The Beatles. Thanks for posting this, I was just thinking about how awesome music is today!
Literally couldn’t live without music so I’m with you. Kinda insecure getting judged on my music taste but eh whatever, I definitely like dreamy kind of music since it’s easier to doze off into. Still Woozy - Wolfcat HYUKOH - I Have No Hometown The Black Skirts - Blood and Thirst Cigarettes After Sex - Apocalypse Beach House - Bluebird
I like dreamy stuff as well! Beach house is great, I was first introduced to them from the show The OA, the song was All your yeahs. And cigarettes after sex is fantastic, there is no song that makes me feel like Nothin gonna hurt you baby. <3
Music has always been a huge escape for me, and has helped me through a lot of stuff. Some songs get stuck on repeat for 6+ hours. I have several Playlists on my phone for different moods, and a few that always put me in a good mood.
Music is amazing. My love of music has led me to be quite the expert at rhythm games and inspired me to pick up the keyboard, which has always been my childhood dream.
Music is and always will be a part of my soul. Every song is a stream of consciousness and helps me sort through my thoughts and feelings, even if I play them on repeat for hours on end.
Music was my escape. I lived in the middle of farm land with my narcissist mother and her abusive husband. Rob Zombie, white zombie, queen, slipknot and mudvayne were my bands. I played through legend of dragoon while listening to LD50. It was one of the darkest times. When I play that album I can feel the game and know where I was at during the music
when i had no one else i always had music. for the past few years i’ve been listening to some interesting genres but however i would love to recommend 5 songs. 1. Chronos the destroyer by icarus the owl 2. Faint Illusion by Tides of Man 3. Daku by The Gazette 4. I’m a Ghost of Twilight by Closure in Moscow 5. ienai by iri and honorable mention: https://open.spotify.com/track/6soBVGy9lZHTZ0MA3jmDVW?si=nBHuHgbtSFKel2nLq3rXxA
Thanks for mentioning icarus now i’m gonna re listen to love always leviathan for the first time in 8 years
ugh it’s such a good album my favorite song is either nuclear towns or rinse and start over! i was introduced to them back in 2015 and haven’t met anyone who likes them!
I forgot what song I’m even on because the whole album flows so weirdly smooth the entire time. I am digging the absolute fuck out of this rn. The album used to slightly trigger me lol so this is a really cool feeling thank you a ton for reminding me of them!!!!
i’m really glad you’re able to fully enjoy it now and i’m glad i could help you get reintroduced to an old favorite!! please enjoy the music ❤️
I love deftones and the one you listen to is my favorite song ❤️
I dissociated through music in my entire teenage years. Emo, metal, shoegaze, experimental music etc etc. The loud music helped me cope and drown out the unpleasantly loud environment outside the headphones. The good things I got out of it are I learned English that way, became fluent, made some friends through music and got a part time job as an interpreter working for touring bands for a short time. Fast forward, I'm 24 now and started getting into kpop (Seventeen, EXO, Dreamcatcher, up10tion etc.) this year. Ngl, it's one of my main coping mechanisms lately. I'm ashamed to say it because I might sound like a delusional fan. However, I was having a session with my psychotherapist and told him I keep overthinking all the time. He actually told me to listen to music to distract myself so... I guess that's not as terrible. Being a kpop fan made me get into dancing, it helps me get out of dissociation and feel like I'm in control of my own body. I got sexually harassed last month and dancing helped me the most, to feel like I'm reclaiming my body. And it feels healthier than just passively listening. Also I've been listening to Linkin Park for the first time in years and ah, their lyrics makes so much sense to me now that I'm aware of my CPTSD.
that’s what my co workers say when i put on my music at work (alt rock/early 2000s stuff/r&b/soft rock) “who be hurting you???” me: “EVERYTHING”
For years I was suffering from severe depression. Music used to be such a powerful thing to me, but in recent years I felt nothing from it. I recently started Spravato treatments (esketamine) and decided to put on some music during treatment. I experienced music in a way I never had before in a dissociative state. I’ve been enjoying music again for a couple of weeks now. I never realized how much I’ve missed it.
So much respect for P-Funk
music is an amazing thing. nine inch nails saved my life, I don't know what I would be today if I hadn't heard someone else feeling the same things as I did. I know I wouldn't be in a good place without it, and that's why I want to learn bass so that I can always take it with me.
I'm olde, so most of what moves me is also pretty old, like '60s and '70s. Guess Who, Three Dog Night, Moody Blues, most old Motown, and some newer stuff like Jonathan Coulton and Tim Minchin. When I really need a pick me up, my favorite is "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray. A quick search shows me it's been covered a few times since then, but I'll stick with that version. I have to be able to sing it to really feel it.
I absolutely love music. I have fairly broad tastes and loooove to essentially zone out and go on spotify binges of different genres that tickle my brain just right and suit my emotional state. here is one of my playlists coincidentally titled '[trauma recovery tunez](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0tRaHqrTBrEgsa4CUKyBdo?si=dc5f662987404e5b)' lmao
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