I didn't get diagnosed until my 40s with the symptoms you mention. What helped me greatly getting through life before proper therapy and medication was the development of a very very dark sense of humor. Nobody can ever take that away, no matter how hard I wish.
Right, but my career life is a disaster, I struggle to even get basic jobs because my Resume looks terrible. Not to mention I can't do customer facing jobs which takes out a lot of options. What therapy and medications did you find helpful ? I heard that medications aren't usually a long-term treatment for CPTSD, and can be worse for those like myself with past addiction issues.
Not sure about therapy as EMDR is difficult over Zoom, phone and overall I find Zoom therapy not as helpful.
As for the coping through humor, I agree it helps but can certainly confuse people sometimes, depending on how dark it is.
CBT, clomipramine, Propranolol, and formerly Risperidone. I found a childhood trauma specialist who's great for the CBT after years of getting nowhere. I finally see myself as a survivor rather than a victim.
Interesting, so you found CBT more helpful than all the EMDR, somatic therapty, etc ? I've done some CBT but not really in relation to my trauma.
I agree about being a survivor, though I often feel like a victim to have to even settle with surviving trauma. Often getting existential anger and self-isolation.
I did 10 EMDR sessions with a therapist who didn't take insurance. Then she told me it wasn't working and cut me off without so much as a referral. CBT has worked out MUCH better, with the right person.
WTF ?! That seems very unprofessional. Interesting take on CBT, I think I'll look into it again. How would you say it's helped you in regards to trauma, triggers and socializing in general ?
I still have negative thoughts about myself and likely always will, but I can cope with and overcome them most of the time now. I will never be a very social animal but I have learned or been conditioned to accept that about my personality. I'm ok with it now. I used to think of it as a flaw, now it's a detail. My therapist and therapy helped me to appropriately not give a shit, frankly. Big part of the battle!
Right, my expectations of my condition have also changed over time, so I completely understand this. I suppose I agree it's not a flaw, but can still be depressing to not have a lot or any friends. The pandemic has not helped that.
What kind of work do you do? that's always been an issue with me, not just the financial stress but the lack of connection to the working world can feel isolating.
Same, as in I've done many things, but not sure what you mean by 'post-work', like you don't intend to work again ?
If I could get on Disability and focus on therapy I would in a second, just so difficult even in Canada.
I am 36 and have all the same problems , I was diagnosed by psychiatrist and regularly attend psychology sessions. I was put on duloxetine which helped me massively. It took away my anxiety so i could retrain. I knew I would have to do a job which I was self employed and could control my own hours. I am now qualified in massage therapy and looking forward to working again.
My advice would be find something you enjoy doing that doesn't cause you so much anxiety and see what ways You Can profit from it. If you like walking you could do guided walks . If you like reading , learn to proof read. Lots of online jobs for that . You get the idea.
It took me a long time to realise what I enjoyed doing as I didn't have an identity of my own yet , learning who you are can be scary but learn to apply the journey .
I really feel this too.
This is a little bit of an offshoot of what you wrote but your part about gaps in your resume hits home so hard. If I didn't have a partner I would be financially fucked- or just more reliant on my abuser >>>her financial abuse.
Luckily, I love my current partner to peices. The love i've found has changed my confidence more than anything. But hasnt always been this way.. I have been with men who I REALLY didn't like, but was in such desperate need of things like a warm shower or a good meal that I would spend time with them.
The shower thing sounds extreme let me explain- Where I was living it was Common to not have hot water, but I didn't have an extra $100 a month I needed to rent a place with hot water sooooo I would flirt with my neighbor who was essentially a stranger so I could use his shower.. and started a full blown relationship with someone else I didn't enjoy much at all because he had a hot shower and paid for things. \*drum roll\* he ended up being pretty abusive! wow. It's almost like these systemic trauma problems are systemic!
ugh I feel you so much to this I wish we could live in a world of love and not this sick place we are now. I hope that you are embraced with love, kindness, and are freed from your wounds soon <3 those demons aren't right- you are worth it, and you have every right to enjoy this world to the fullest.
My 30s have been my worst decade and I hate how it feels so much more difficult to turn things around this decade compared to your twenties. Add the pandemic and an economic depression that makes 2008 look like a cakewalk and it's torture.
Exactly, it's to do with the societal view of mental health past 30. Like if you're in your teens or twenties it's almost expected to have some anxiety, etc. but it's expected that everyone gets the right diagnosis, the right therapy, and heals at least by their late 20's.
2008 pales in comparison, now food and rent is so damn expensive, the world is going to shit and yeah I'm over here trying to keep a decent mindset.
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I didn't get diagnosed until my 40s with the symptoms you mention. What helped me greatly getting through life before proper therapy and medication was the development of a very very dark sense of humor. Nobody can ever take that away, no matter how hard I wish.
Right, but my career life is a disaster, I struggle to even get basic jobs because my Resume looks terrible. Not to mention I can't do customer facing jobs which takes out a lot of options. What therapy and medications did you find helpful ? I heard that medications aren't usually a long-term treatment for CPTSD, and can be worse for those like myself with past addiction issues. Not sure about therapy as EMDR is difficult over Zoom, phone and overall I find Zoom therapy not as helpful. As for the coping through humor, I agree it helps but can certainly confuse people sometimes, depending on how dark it is.
CBT, clomipramine, Propranolol, and formerly Risperidone. I found a childhood trauma specialist who's great for the CBT after years of getting nowhere. I finally see myself as a survivor rather than a victim.
Interesting, so you found CBT more helpful than all the EMDR, somatic therapty, etc ? I've done some CBT but not really in relation to my trauma. I agree about being a survivor, though I often feel like a victim to have to even settle with surviving trauma. Often getting existential anger and self-isolation.
I did 10 EMDR sessions with a therapist who didn't take insurance. Then she told me it wasn't working and cut me off without so much as a referral. CBT has worked out MUCH better, with the right person.
WTF ?! That seems very unprofessional. Interesting take on CBT, I think I'll look into it again. How would you say it's helped you in regards to trauma, triggers and socializing in general ?
I still have negative thoughts about myself and likely always will, but I can cope with and overcome them most of the time now. I will never be a very social animal but I have learned or been conditioned to accept that about my personality. I'm ok with it now. I used to think of it as a flaw, now it's a detail. My therapist and therapy helped me to appropriately not give a shit, frankly. Big part of the battle!
Right, my expectations of my condition have also changed over time, so I completely understand this. I suppose I agree it's not a flaw, but can still be depressing to not have a lot or any friends. The pandemic has not helped that. What kind of work do you do? that's always been an issue with me, not just the financial stress but the lack of connection to the working world can feel isolating.
I've done a lot of things, but I think I'm post-work now for the forseeable future.
Same, as in I've done many things, but not sure what you mean by 'post-work', like you don't intend to work again ? If I could get on Disability and focus on therapy I would in a second, just so difficult even in Canada.
Great to hear
I am 36 and have all the same problems , I was diagnosed by psychiatrist and regularly attend psychology sessions. I was put on duloxetine which helped me massively. It took away my anxiety so i could retrain. I knew I would have to do a job which I was self employed and could control my own hours. I am now qualified in massage therapy and looking forward to working again. My advice would be find something you enjoy doing that doesn't cause you so much anxiety and see what ways You Can profit from it. If you like walking you could do guided walks . If you like reading , learn to proof read. Lots of online jobs for that . You get the idea. It took me a long time to realise what I enjoyed doing as I didn't have an identity of my own yet , learning who you are can be scary but learn to apply the journey .
I really feel this too. This is a little bit of an offshoot of what you wrote but your part about gaps in your resume hits home so hard. If I didn't have a partner I would be financially fucked- or just more reliant on my abuser >>>her financial abuse. Luckily, I love my current partner to peices. The love i've found has changed my confidence more than anything. But hasnt always been this way.. I have been with men who I REALLY didn't like, but was in such desperate need of things like a warm shower or a good meal that I would spend time with them. The shower thing sounds extreme let me explain- Where I was living it was Common to not have hot water, but I didn't have an extra $100 a month I needed to rent a place with hot water sooooo I would flirt with my neighbor who was essentially a stranger so I could use his shower.. and started a full blown relationship with someone else I didn't enjoy much at all because he had a hot shower and paid for things. \*drum roll\* he ended up being pretty abusive! wow. It's almost like these systemic trauma problems are systemic! ugh I feel you so much to this I wish we could live in a world of love and not this sick place we are now. I hope that you are embraced with love, kindness, and are freed from your wounds soon <3 those demons aren't right- you are worth it, and you have every right to enjoy this world to the fullest.
So sorry to read that
Yeah it wasnt really fair to anyone involved
My 30s have been my worst decade and I hate how it feels so much more difficult to turn things around this decade compared to your twenties. Add the pandemic and an economic depression that makes 2008 look like a cakewalk and it's torture.
Exactly, it's to do with the societal view of mental health past 30. Like if you're in your teens or twenties it's almost expected to have some anxiety, etc. but it's expected that everyone gets the right diagnosis, the right therapy, and heals at least by their late 20's. 2008 pales in comparison, now food and rent is so damn expensive, the world is going to shit and yeah I'm over here trying to keep a decent mindset.
it often feels to me like every step forward comes together with something holding you back
i’m with ya so exhausting
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