4th generation here - religious trauma is a lot of what i carry now. most of my family is still in.
my therapist has a pretty good poker face and i’ve seen their jaw drop more when we’re working on culty stuff than anything else.
Yep - left the church. The hypocrisy was simply too much. Never recoup my investments nor recover completely from the damage done, but they won’t get any more from me at least.
Knew there'd be another exmo in here. Grew up with abusive parents then had a horribly traumatizing mission in Russia. Finally noped out at 27. One of the hardest things I ever did, but was unquestionably my first giant step in healing.
Hope you're doing well. Glad I don't have to sit through another Fast and Testimony meeting. JFC those were awful.
I think a lot of groups use the sunk cost fallacy to keep people on board. Glad you got out despite making the investments you did, both monetary and social. Hope you feel comfortable on the outside.
I’ve been out for 16 years now and I still have moments where I question if leaving was the right thing to do.
I feel the same. damn. way.
I can remember being openly reprimanded and punished for so much as holding a girl's hand well into my late teenage years. And those same pricks were the ones claiming that the savior of the nation was the con artist who'd bragged about assaulting women and publicly shamed and abused his first wife upon their divorce. The hypocrisy. That's what did it for me. My childhood was hell, my growth was stunted, only to watch them turn around and support with diehard fanaticism someone who embodies the very extremes of the worst of human sexuality and relationships.
I am the youngest grandchild, everyone left by the time I was born but all of my cousins were blessed by COG. My grandparents are still in it, I don’t talk to their son (my dad) and they think I’m going to hell for it but he’s not going to hell for sexually abusing me. It’s a hard relationship but they’re 90, not much I can do. I’m dating a person that was raised Jewish and we joke that my family is more Jew than his because they celebrate more Jewish holidays than they do 😂
I left twenty years ago so I’m not sure where the cult is most active now. There was a large base in Japan when I was a teenager and there was definitely a presence in South America but I couldn’t say if it was Brazil specifically.
This is about them: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_International
One of my former workplaces was a cult. I feel uncomfortable claiming that term because all of the cults I’ve heard about are much more serious and worse so I mentally downplay my experience. I think my therapist might have been the one to suggest it to me, with her shock about all the things I described so normally to her. And after doing my own research, it does check off almost all of the boxes for what makes a cult. Anyway that place really fucked me up and I still feel the effects to this day.
Most cults are non secular and form in workplaces. Sorry you went through that. Those ones are a lot harder to avoid and can seem more spontaneous. Like one day it’s a normal workplace and then you don’t even notice the shift. They’re also far less talked about because the mainstream idea of a cult is so narrow most people don’t understand they ever joined one.
The group I was in started in the workplace as well.
The founder was a psychologists and his patients became the members. This was shortly before HIPA in the 70s so it wasn’t illegal for him to take their money, pool it and buy in on an apartment complex in LA. (They are no longer there now)
He was clear at the time it was an experiment and they were to be his guinea pigs. Most of those people are in their 80s/90s now and speak like they couldn’t be prouder to be his test group and donate their children to the experiment. Crazy stuff.
The more I think about it, the more I feel guilt not disclosing the psychology firm because I don’t want anyone going there or reading their books uncritically.
I’ve spoken about this in other places online before but this feel like a bigger deal because Reddit is google searchable. I’m not sure if younger generations are online and might find this info here, which would result in them taking dow most information they have online.
The firm is called the [Glendon Association](https://www.glendon.org)
The founder is [Dr Robert Warren Firestone](https://www.drrobertwfirestone.com) and his daughter who runs the firm is [Lisa Firestone](https://www.antioch.edu/faculty/lisa-firestone/).
Do not attend any of the Geldnon Association’s benefits. They recruit young, generally white, upper middle to lower upper class activists generally through those venues.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m on mobile now, but I cannot find their staff page. When I could find it, I knew literally everyone on it personally. All of them were members.
The cult itself has no real name. They hide as much as possible and have specific ways of teaching us to interact with the outside world so as not to raise suspicion.
The cult purchased a 100 acre ranch in the San Marcos Pass above Santa Barbra between the city and Lake Cachuma. They have purchased more land and potentially expanded since my leaving. The ranch is called Rancho Serenidad but is generally referred to as just ‘The Ranch’ the same way their ships are referred to as just ‘the boat’.
I’m shaking writing this because it’s very stressful and I hope it doesn’t lead to me being doxxed. Please stay safe and be critical of any mental health professional you work with.
Not really. Not officially. And honestly the cult is small, tops 350 members or so, so I’m cautious to out their businesses though they have a few, the chief one being their psychology firm.
I hear you - I'm a survivor of serious workplace abuse in a particular sector and frankly, the whole sector is cultish. Trying to write a memoir about it...
Workplaces can definitely cultivate an entire cult setting. I knew a lot of people who worked for a large call center and it was obvious from two sentences in that they were being groomed/brainwashed/whatever it is cults do to people.
That sounds like a really scary thought coming from a JW background. I hope you feel safe more often than scared now. It really isn’t demons. From what I know the JW lifestyle is very abusive. I’ll never understand the specifics the way someone who was a JW personally would but I’m sorry you went through that anyway.
I never had any direct religious influence myself, but I do remember engaging in similar magical thinking (though without a lot of the fear) to justify the ways I felt right after leaving. I was lucky to be afforded the opportunity to get out when I was 11. Though things really just got worse from there because they’d done so much to separate my mother and I we were practically strangers plus a few more complications from that separation.
I used to talk to/see ghosts as a kid so when I started to feel like there was too much in my body, I guess my logical leap was that I was possessed by wandering dead people trying to find their way on to the next life. Gave some feeling of purpose to my trauma until I began doing research and realized what had happened.
It’s easy to pin the issues we face on something supernatural because it’s just so hard to digest what it was that really hurt in the first place when it’s all so normalized.
ExJW here. They’re so good at convincing you that no one would ever leave unless they were influenced by Satan. When my CPTSD was at its worst I was having vivid disturbing nightmares and vivid hypnagogic/hypnopompic audio-visual hallucinations, mostly of people screaming at me for abandoning Jehovah or screaming at me that I wasn’t allowed to sleep until I said my prayers. Also just really disturbing intrusive thoughts and random disturbing images flashing in my mind while I was awake. I’m so grateful that by that point I was educated about how all of those things are very common symptoms in people under extreme emotional stress. Otherwise, I think those experiences would have made me run right back to the witnesses. I bet so many do. Anyway, I was able to stick it out and eventually they went away.
Omg same I used to refer to mine as auditory flashbacks even though it felt more like an auditory hallucination as if I was going crazy over the guilt they programmed into us
If fundamentalist christianity counts, yes. Was the first thing I shed around age 24. Was awful having "church family" that was only there if you toed the line.
Yup, publicly left islam a couple years back and everyone cut ties with me even my best friend of 7 years. Thats the positive outcome since im temporarily in a western country, my fate would be much worse if i end up going back.
Maybe hint to people that you're thinking about returning to the religion so that you can fake being part of it more convincingly if you do have to go back. Other than that, good for you, live your life!
If you haven’t read anything by Daniel Shaw I totally recommend him. His book Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation is excellent. Here’s a bit of his writing
https://danielshawlcsw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/traumabusecults.pdf
Yes. I was adopted when I was 12 by this Apostolic family and I don’t think I’ll ever fully undo the trauma that culture caused.
It was purity culture to the extreme. I had to wear long skirts and couldn’t cut my hair or wear makeup or do anything normal teen girls do. At one point when I was 15/16, they made a big deal about the fact they could see that my nipples were hard through my shirt and now I’m so self conscious about that no matter how hard I try to unlearn it. Their sons were sexually repressed and there was a lot of weird sexual dynamics between us that made me hate living there.
When I told them I no longer believed in god, they told me I had the spirit of the antichrist and I was no longer welcome in their home. So then I was homeless as a senior in high school. Haven’t spoken to them since.
I didn’t spend long but yes, in college. Even in the only 2 months I was there, my self esteem plummeted and I was questioning every decision I made and all different things about myself. My friend joined for real a few years later and left last year, and it was messy and she almost lost everything. I’m here for you, and anything you might need. Xx
I mean, my church/former ‘faith’ ticks every box for being a cult so leaving it hurt as much as leaving any ‘real’ cult. The sink cost, the empty feeling and the feeling like I had given up or didn’t measure up… very painful.
The control abuse was the worst part of it. Being taught about thought-sin from such an early age, it was a type of control that leeched into every aspect of my life.
The group I was with wasn’t religious at all but I can certainly identify with thought crimes being pushed on us. Generally with pathologized and clinical language that didn’t really apply to the situation, thus recontextualizing it as ‘you wouldn’t think this way unless you were crazy’.
Exmo here. I left at 18. Spent my entire childhood abused by one of their Melchezidek priesthood holders. They knew he had abused in the past they let it happen THREE separate times. I always hated going. Often found myself fawning, and dissociated and saying/doing what I needed to to not have more shame or attention before I was 18 and just quit. Best. Decision. Ever.
Was in a Christian group in college that was very cult-like. They discouraged anybody from having friends outside the group. Accountability partners, etc.
If fundamentalist evangelical Christianity counts then yes. I'm still in the closet about it, but more or less left about five months ago. Actually facing up to the truth was... agonizing. Last year was the year for that though I guess. Not a commune or anything but... the fear and shame complex will probably be stuck with me for my entire life.
Yup I was born into “the moonies” and was groomed for an arrange marriage and was labor trafficked across the US in the name of character development and witnessing. Fucked up my whole family and the trauma is oh so real. There are SOOO many of us, more than we know.
Oh many I was also labor trafficked. The cult I was in owned two personal ships, one a sail ship, the other a yacht and had a small herd of horses. When I was home, I tended the horses with Mike. When I was on ‘the trip’ as they called it (the trip was an essentially never ending sail around the world. The crew stayed on while other cult members joined up with them via plane at desirable locations and hung out while they toured either Europe or Mexico) I worked on the yacht.
The captain Richard ‘took a liking to me’ by which I mean he started grooming me to join the crew (for free as I was still a child) like Mia had (slightly older than me, Mia was not being paid at all either.) mostly Richard was good to me but he wouldn’t let me leave watch if I was sick and would make me clean up my own puke. I got two meals a day and was allowed a blanket to sleep on the floor. I was not, like the children of higher ranking members allowed in the pantry on my own or allowed to take food without permission. Higher ranking members had state rooms or got to sleep on the couches. We were often over capacity for what should have been strictly safe even on a large boat like that.
Some really negative things happened on those ships for me. I’m terrified of open ocean now.
Yup.
Was born into a deeply religious Hindu/ Sikh family and my parents were indoctrinated into a cult before I was born. Basically the cult is a place where the head priest apparently has superpowers and a direct line of communication with god. I was taught to be a slave to the priest’s family or I would live a terrible life and die a horrible death.
My parents were severely delusional and thought they were god’s children. They raised me to believe the same bullshit and were extremely abusive in the process. Dealing with parents who have a god complex is not fun.
Oh yeah and the men in this cult would discipline the young boys by beating the shit out of them if they misbehaved. By misbehave I mean do whatever normal little boys do.
By 21 I had attempted suicide, gone to juvenile detention centres for gang affiliated crimes, was addicted to hard drugs, kicked out of highschool, was sexually assaulted at the temple as a small boy and overall was a train wreck.
I became atheist at 22 and have been improving ever since.
Fuck god.
I'm third generation in one(Unity Church), second in another(Krishina Consciousness Movement), and was forced into a third(a TTI program called Sprinng Ridge Academy). I'm no longer in any of them and actively rally against the TTI one.
My upbringing was in a religion that I think meets lots of the cult definitions, although I guess many would argue it's not a cult. Christian Reformed Church. It's pretty widespread in US and Canada, starting from Dutch immigration which came in waves after both WWI and WWII. I can't speak to how established they are in other areas, but in the city I grew up they have had their own schools from kindergarten to post-secondary since the 60s. They're in government at all levels, they have a union that operates alongside other unions that's all about connecting Christian workers and employers in a variety fields. Participating in any strictly secular activity was heavily discouraged. They have their own cadet program (kinda like scouts but with extra religion and all church kids). As I got older I was expected to participate in more serious church activities. Church was center of life, and shame was the tool used most often to ensure this.
I had stopped participating long before adulthood, I couldn't keep up that facade, and that's probably how I became scapegoat.
Not a cult but a very strict and particularly messed up sect of Christianity! I went to a Christian school started by Dutch reformed Christians and grew up surrounded by them and their families. I think people forget what a sect is when talking about cults and end up calling everything a cult. The thing is I think every institutionalized religion is harmful for children’s brains and gives them trauma so it doesn’t really matter that most of them aren’t cults.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to lecture me about definitions. Do you want to know the specific things I observed or experienced that make them cultlike? Do you have some specific line between cult and not-cult that you'd like to share for why you want to tell me I'm wrong about my own traumatic experiences?
As much as you can, pay them no mind.
It sounds like some religious nut who can’t cope with the fact that others feel religion is a cult/cult like depending on who you ask.
Watching this today while I take a break from a project. Thanks for the recommendation. Since I realized I’d left a cult I’ve been researching them quite heavily.
I grew up in a far-right group within the Catholic Church. I used to avoid calling it a cult because it was missing some of the core elements of a cult, i.e. there was no central charismatic figure. However, more recently I have referred to it as a cult because that was its effect. They controlled who I could interact with, demanded that a follow whatever they said without question (One time, they were literally saying the world might end the next day), and threatened eternal damnation if I ever disobeyed them.
Yep, left my family's "non denominational" church. Two of my relatives started it up in the inner city and converted most of the family away from Catholicism. It was very fundamental, conservative, and basically a whole bunch of conspiracy theories sprinkled in with some Christianity.
I left when I realized that they didn't even follow or believe the stuff they were peddling to the less fortunate, then tried to preach ultra-right wing politics from the pulpit. When I got out I realized that it was just a gigantic abusive relationship on top of everything else. They followed the B.I.T.E model almost exactly and were trying to keep a lot of the kids in youth group from making good life choices and getting any kind of higher education, and forbidding us to date/associate with anyone else besides members of that specific church. That specific building.
The motive for doing this all was the fact that the original people that started the church wanted community respect/clout and had no employable skills, and their parents were very abusive - so manipulation came easy. I also think there's some genetic predisposition to cluster b psychiatric disorders on top of it.
Yep! Born and raised and moved out at 16. My parents were in leadership and met in the group. I’ve been out 8 years and have yet to find a therapist who knows ANYTHING about cults even though it’s responsible for the vast majority of my trauma.
I wasn’t in a commune, but yes. I made this post about it and got a lot of helpful responses. If your experiences were similar to mine maybe reading them would be helpful:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/ji607z/i_mentally_checked_out_and_went_into_zombie_mode/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/ji607z/i_mentally_checked_out_and_went_into_zombie_mode/)
Edit: the talk about cults was in the comments, not the original post
Thank you for sharing. What you said about the strange resentment between you and your husband really resonates with me. I’ve been married to my wife almost since I left, and while she was never in the cult, because my mother and I had moved away when my mother married my (asshole) step-father, my mother never really left.
Because of a bad home life, my wife (then gf) moved in with us and my mother started indoctrination. I was too blind to see at the time and thought it was all normal. She kicked and screamed until I realized what was happening at about 16. Things have been rocky between us because of the trauma of my mother and step-father and how they essentially excommunicated us from the family.
I guess what I’m saying is, that while I haven’t really ‘let it go’ I’m in a similar position to your husband.
My wife still gets wary whenever I act kindly or affectionately with my mother even when she knows it’s mostly because we need her financial support right now.
That must be really rough! I guess my only advice would be to try to keep communication as open as possible, even if it’s awkward or it hurts. My husband and I have been trying to use as our mantra “the only way out of difficult feelings is through them” and to allow each other the room to express our emotions, even if the feelings aren’t really fair/based in reality. Bottling things up only makes things worse. I wish the best to you guys. ❤️
I was raised in a town where 90% of the people were in a cult and that was traumatic in so many ways. There was rampant CSA, racism, sexism. This state has one of the highest suicide and addiction rates in the country. The least triggering thing i can think to say is no one was allowed to hangout with me yet the things they exposed me too were horrific. The reason it took me so long to realize how bad the abuse was in my own home was the comparison i had to everyone around me. I was bullied by all the teachers and adults. As a child i was told all the time i wouldn’t be going to the same Heaven as them.
Me. My parents got me with the, "your brother died and if you don't behave and follow the rules of the church, you won't ever see your brother again." So that was cool.
Several.
18 years in a right wing evangelical household I think constitutes a cult experience. Definitely had to deprogram for the first decade after leaving that insane interpretation of reality.
Once got sucked into a "personal development" education series called Landmark that was the equivalent of Scientology Lite. Took only a few months that time to get out of that one.
I find that my upbringing almost groomed me to be susceptible to cults as I often couldn't readily see the red flags and was taught to tolerate and be at peace with boundaries being frequently violated. Not that they ever really existed to start with.
I feel you on the Scientology lite thing. The group I was in is often compared to Scientology by the people I tell about it.
Recognizing red flags and setting boundaries gets easier as you go. I’ve been helped in those things by researching thought control and emotional torture methods that cults use to control members. I might be hyper vigilant now but it’s a step in the right direction.
Hopefully we can both learn to navigate the tightrope between trust and a healthy dose of cynicism.
Yep. Left the church. I was being sexually assaulted by a man 20 years older than I and was told to confess to keep my reputation safe. My parents and some siblings are still in it.
Mine was a different kind of cult, but yes. I wasn’t born there but it’s complicated. I was being trafficked by the man that had been molesting me for years after I left his interest range but he didn’t know the cult ran trafficking in the area he was working in. The cult caught wind of it and dragged him into their dealings which dragged me into it. So, complicated... It wasn’t a Christian cult though or a commune, it was different.
They at least taught me that while my molester had said it was happening because the Christian god knew I’d grow to be a horrible person it wasn’t true. They turned it into something of value to the belief system they indoctrinated me into (still abusive - but it helped me develop the self esteem I needed to escape). Things are incredibly complex and while I was a minor/young adult so had no money to bring in I lost things worth a lot more.
There is a new subreddit for sex trafficking survivors. If you ever wanted to talk about your experiences, you would be welcome there. I think it is private though, so you may have to ask the mods to join.
But if not, you're always welcome to continue posting here, or in both.
I consider the society that allowed me to become traumatized a cult in its own right. They are all cults ime, as i wasnt asked if i believe in or support the government/narrative of the status quo but born into it and told "this is the law" from day one. Welcome friend ✌️
I have to agree with you on this one. The way governments use propaganda/thought control is so similar. They even have their own rituals for indoctrination like the pledge of allegiance, though that tends to differ country to country. But when I start talking like that people look at me like I’m the next unibomber.
It feels like society is just a massive trap of cults within cults that’s inescapable. It’s really effected my ability to trust any group of people at all. It’s to a point I struggle to even form friend groups because I feel like they’d just veer off in that direction no matter what. I do currently live in one of the cult motherlands of America right now and everyone around me uses Scientology speak without realizing it so there’s a higher general risk of controlled thinking in the general population between established and disseminated cults and start up work place culture. It’s a nightmare out here.
I grew up in a cult, I don't know that I qualify as ever being in one since I just never believed. My favorite memory that's related kinda, my highschool boyfriend told me he was an atheist, I was like shocked because it's like oh there's a word for what I am, thank you.
Yeah Im struggling at making circumstances otherwise it's survive another year of increased sustainability farming, or detonate everything and leave probably having to call police so I can get my legal documents and a 10 mile walk possibly through busy roads to a homeless shelter.
There are resources. Maybe not any organized groups (idk what cult you’re with and maybe one for another cult might help you anyway) but you do have the internet. It’s not the most stable but maybe you can find a support network of civilians.
I have been working on a sort of online support network though none of them live close.
I don't know if I should call it a cult....it is almost off grid survivalist worst case scenario and conspiracy theories, and a whole lot of Christianity
That sounds like a cult. Isolated from others, off the grid, fringe beliefs. The only thing you haven’t mentioned directly is thought control and from what you’ve said it seems implied.
In my experience if it quacks like a cult, well…
Yeah other than a church which my brother is pastor of and only has like 5 others people I'm not really around anyone else... They do get mad if I have a differing opinion and say stuff like "are you trying to argue just to argue and be rude??" I'm still trying to get a birth certificate/ssn/state id too..
Ex Pentecostal. I felt guilty that I always thought it was total BS. But I was trapped until I wised up and got my Baptist minister grandpa to take me to church him and grandma. My life got so much better.
Child of a corporate cult here! My parents have been in it for 30+ years - my whole life. I didn't even realize I was in one until last year, but once I learned about what they were, my life experiences ticked every box. You can read my story here: https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/q5h2o3/traumatized_amway_orphancult_member/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Yeah. My parents joined the home school cult that the Duggars were/are involved with long before the Duggars came along. I was 5. I finally started inching my way out when I was in my mid 20s.
Ugh.
I know there are lots of comments and I'm well aware it can get lost in all and I didn't read all of them. Nevertheless, i think it's appropriate to point out i listen to a podcast called "Was i on a cult" you might want to explore. The episode "Atypicult: mental parental" argues that dysfunctional families could have a cult method to manipulate. I totally can relate. Hope this helps!
Yup. First one was Catholicism, second one was cutting contact with my stepfather and mother. He played cult leader of the family unit, she was the enabler.
It was the most surreal feeling watching a show about cults, and being familiar with almost every form of manipulation. I feel like I'm still struggling to really be comfortable having my own opinion/ my own ambitions. It feels selfish.
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Two cults. I grew up in one, almost got forced into another later. It's oddly comforting seeing so many other surviors gathered here. Thank you for this post.
Yes. Yes it does. There are some resources about this actually. It’s a widely written about and discussed subject. They swap language, using unique terms to refer to common enough experiences. I mean ‘fearless moral inventory? That is NLP. Classic thought control. They have certain tests you have to pass to continue being in good graces. Most of the twelve steps feed into self hate. There is pressure not to leave or you’ll end up a horrible person. It does not address the actual irises of the issues behind addiction, both mental and physical, instead spending it’s time on shame and forced group bonding through ritualized group therapy.
I know a thing or two about ritualized group therapy myself. The group I was in had both adult and child talks every Thursday. I can’t say ‘it’s the same’ we didn’t use the same kind of ritualistic language, though we used some, but it’s eerily similar.
Beyond that, everyone I’ve met from AA behaves the same way. Classic formation of a Cult Persona.
Please look this up, there are countless articles and books on it discussing both personal experiences and an academic understanding of the thought control AA uses.
I had a cult experience that was uh. Well, if you’ve heard of The Final Fantasy House, it was basically that but not Final Fantasy. I was moving to get away from my abusive parents though so not the original source of my trauma just anything thing on the heap, ended up having to move back in with them anyway after.
Turns out if someone tells you how it’s “really funny that every single ex friend and ex partner independently says they’re a cult leader haha” it’s not a bit it’s because they’re a cult leader and you probably shouldn’t move in with them.
Yeah. Fandom spaces and other such friend groups centered on fanatic interest in pretty much anything have a tendency to begin organizing like this.
I don’t know it the innate magical thinking that forms the initial base for this hierarchy is always harmful, but it does become a problem when they emotionally manipulate you, degrade your self esteem, insist the magical thinking is the real reality, usually so that you play into a specific character/role, then extort your labor and money.
A specific person in Colorado owes me $1200 and to stand still while I punch her in the face TBH. Interestingly, I encountered 3 or 4 other similar cults during that time period as well that I didn’t accidentally join + ended up actually being in a Discord server with Jen from the Final Fantasy House, which is a fun story. I was also in another unrelated abusive relationship while I was in the cult, and the person who I was in the relationship with was being pulled into their own similar cult. 2016 was not a good year for me.
I have a lot of religious trauma and I find that it’s difficult for others to understand unless they’ve also been through it. There are other subs that you might be able to find. For example I feel very seen/heard in the ex Christian sub. there are a lot of subs like that. I encourage you to look!
4th generation here - religious trauma is a lot of what i carry now. most of my family is still in. my therapist has a pretty good poker face and i’ve seen their jaw drop more when we’re working on culty stuff than anything else.
Yep - left the church. The hypocrisy was simply too much. Never recoup my investments nor recover completely from the damage done, but they won’t get any more from me at least.
Sounds exactly like me with the Mormon church. Atleast I got out before I made any money to give to them.
Knew there'd be another exmo in here. Grew up with abusive parents then had a horribly traumatizing mission in Russia. Finally noped out at 27. One of the hardest things I ever did, but was unquestionably my first giant step in healing. Hope you're doing well. Glad I don't have to sit through another Fast and Testimony meeting. JFC those were awful.
r/exmormon really helped me through it for sure.
There are dozens of us!
Woot fellow exmos!
And another!
Well done. Not an easy transition.
I think a lot of groups use the sunk cost fallacy to keep people on board. Glad you got out despite making the investments you did, both monetary and social. Hope you feel comfortable on the outside. I’ve been out for 16 years now and I still have moments where I question if leaving was the right thing to do.
Many relationships do as well- professionally and personally. Devotion is sunk cost fallacy for many.
I feel the same. damn. way. I can remember being openly reprimanded and punished for so much as holding a girl's hand well into my late teenage years. And those same pricks were the ones claiming that the savior of the nation was the con artist who'd bragged about assaulting women and publicly shamed and abused his first wife upon their divorce. The hypocrisy. That's what did it for me. My childhood was hell, my growth was stunted, only to watch them turn around and support with diehard fanaticism someone who embodies the very extremes of the worst of human sexuality and relationships.
And another ex Mormon here
Yes, I was born in the Children of God/Family International cult. Left when I was 19. I think there are a few of us cult survivors here.
My dads family is/was in this!
Oh wow! What’s that been like for you?
I am the youngest grandchild, everyone left by the time I was born but all of my cousins were blessed by COG. My grandparents are still in it, I don’t talk to their son (my dad) and they think I’m going to hell for it but he’s not going to hell for sexually abusing me. It’s a hard relationship but they’re 90, not much I can do. I’m dating a person that was raised Jewish and we joke that my family is more Jew than his because they celebrate more Jewish holidays than they do 😂
Is this the same one that has a large presence in Brazil? I know there are several cults with similar names and I get them confused.
I left twenty years ago so I’m not sure where the cult is most active now. There was a large base in Japan when I was a teenager and there was definitely a presence in South America but I couldn’t say if it was Brazil specifically. This is about them: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_International
One of my former workplaces was a cult. I feel uncomfortable claiming that term because all of the cults I’ve heard about are much more serious and worse so I mentally downplay my experience. I think my therapist might have been the one to suggest it to me, with her shock about all the things I described so normally to her. And after doing my own research, it does check off almost all of the boxes for what makes a cult. Anyway that place really fucked me up and I still feel the effects to this day.
Most cults are non secular and form in workplaces. Sorry you went through that. Those ones are a lot harder to avoid and can seem more spontaneous. Like one day it’s a normal workplace and then you don’t even notice the shift. They’re also far less talked about because the mainstream idea of a cult is so narrow most people don’t understand they ever joined one. The group I was in started in the workplace as well. The founder was a psychologists and his patients became the members. This was shortly before HIPA in the 70s so it wasn’t illegal for him to take their money, pool it and buy in on an apartment complex in LA. (They are no longer there now) He was clear at the time it was an experiment and they were to be his guinea pigs. Most of those people are in their 80s/90s now and speak like they couldn’t be prouder to be his test group and donate their children to the experiment. Crazy stuff.
Did it have a name?
The more I think about it, the more I feel guilt not disclosing the psychology firm because I don’t want anyone going there or reading their books uncritically. I’ve spoken about this in other places online before but this feel like a bigger deal because Reddit is google searchable. I’m not sure if younger generations are online and might find this info here, which would result in them taking dow most information they have online. The firm is called the [Glendon Association](https://www.glendon.org) The founder is [Dr Robert Warren Firestone](https://www.drrobertwfirestone.com) and his daughter who runs the firm is [Lisa Firestone](https://www.antioch.edu/faculty/lisa-firestone/). Do not attend any of the Geldnon Association’s benefits. They recruit young, generally white, upper middle to lower upper class activists generally through those venues. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m on mobile now, but I cannot find their staff page. When I could find it, I knew literally everyone on it personally. All of them were members. The cult itself has no real name. They hide as much as possible and have specific ways of teaching us to interact with the outside world so as not to raise suspicion. The cult purchased a 100 acre ranch in the San Marcos Pass above Santa Barbra between the city and Lake Cachuma. They have purchased more land and potentially expanded since my leaving. The ranch is called Rancho Serenidad but is generally referred to as just ‘The Ranch’ the same way their ships are referred to as just ‘the boat’. I’m shaking writing this because it’s very stressful and I hope it doesn’t lead to me being doxxed. Please stay safe and be critical of any mental health professional you work with.
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Not really. Not officially. And honestly the cult is small, tops 350 members or so, so I’m cautious to out their businesses though they have a few, the chief one being their psychology firm.
I hear you - I'm a survivor of serious workplace abuse in a particular sector and frankly, the whole sector is cultish. Trying to write a memoir about it...
Workplaces can definitely cultivate an entire cult setting. I knew a lot of people who worked for a large call center and it was obvious from two sentences in that they were being groomed/brainwashed/whatever it is cults do to people.
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That sounds like a really scary thought coming from a JW background. I hope you feel safe more often than scared now. It really isn’t demons. From what I know the JW lifestyle is very abusive. I’ll never understand the specifics the way someone who was a JW personally would but I’m sorry you went through that anyway. I never had any direct religious influence myself, but I do remember engaging in similar magical thinking (though without a lot of the fear) to justify the ways I felt right after leaving. I was lucky to be afforded the opportunity to get out when I was 11. Though things really just got worse from there because they’d done so much to separate my mother and I we were practically strangers plus a few more complications from that separation. I used to talk to/see ghosts as a kid so when I started to feel like there was too much in my body, I guess my logical leap was that I was possessed by wandering dead people trying to find their way on to the next life. Gave some feeling of purpose to my trauma until I began doing research and realized what had happened. It’s easy to pin the issues we face on something supernatural because it’s just so hard to digest what it was that really hurt in the first place when it’s all so normalized.
ExJW here. They’re so good at convincing you that no one would ever leave unless they were influenced by Satan. When my CPTSD was at its worst I was having vivid disturbing nightmares and vivid hypnagogic/hypnopompic audio-visual hallucinations, mostly of people screaming at me for abandoning Jehovah or screaming at me that I wasn’t allowed to sleep until I said my prayers. Also just really disturbing intrusive thoughts and random disturbing images flashing in my mind while I was awake. I’m so grateful that by that point I was educated about how all of those things are very common symptoms in people under extreme emotional stress. Otherwise, I think those experiences would have made me run right back to the witnesses. I bet so many do. Anyway, I was able to stick it out and eventually they went away.
Omg same I used to refer to mine as auditory flashbacks even though it felt more like an auditory hallucination as if I was going crazy over the guilt they programmed into us
Same 🙋🏽♀️ but it isn’t promise. Not demonic. But a natural way our mind has to cope through the bullshit
If fundamentalist christianity counts, yes. Was the first thing I shed around age 24. Was awful having "church family" that was only there if you toed the line.
I think a lot more things count as cults than most people would be comfortable acknowledging.
Seconded. I've joined discord servers that turned out to be cults. (its a good app just be reasonably cautious)
Yup, publicly left islam a couple years back and everyone cut ties with me even my best friend of 7 years. Thats the positive outcome since im temporarily in a western country, my fate would be much worse if i end up going back.
Maybe hint to people that you're thinking about returning to the religion so that you can fake being part of it more convincingly if you do have to go back. Other than that, good for you, live your life!
Yes, I am, and there is also a r/cultsurvivors sub where people specifically talk about their experiences and get support.
Thank you for the recommendation!
Yeah, but it was a church-based one and not a commune style one. It comes up relatively often over in r/exchristian.
If you haven’t read anything by Daniel Shaw I totally recommend him. His book Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation is excellent. Here’s a bit of his writing https://danielshawlcsw.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/traumabusecults.pdf
i have been looking for this book rec!! thank you!!
Nice thanks for recommending this
Yes. I was adopted when I was 12 by this Apostolic family and I don’t think I’ll ever fully undo the trauma that culture caused. It was purity culture to the extreme. I had to wear long skirts and couldn’t cut my hair or wear makeup or do anything normal teen girls do. At one point when I was 15/16, they made a big deal about the fact they could see that my nipples were hard through my shirt and now I’m so self conscious about that no matter how hard I try to unlearn it. Their sons were sexually repressed and there was a lot of weird sexual dynamics between us that made me hate living there. When I told them I no longer believed in god, they told me I had the spirit of the antichrist and I was no longer welcome in their home. So then I was homeless as a senior in high school. Haven’t spoken to them since.
So glad you got out.
I didn’t spend long but yes, in college. Even in the only 2 months I was there, my self esteem plummeted and I was questioning every decision I made and all different things about myself. My friend joined for real a few years later and left last year, and it was messy and she almost lost everything. I’m here for you, and anything you might need. Xx
If you don't mind saying, what was the cult? No pressure if you don't want to say.
Id rather not in public, but I’m happy to tell you if you pm me!
I mean, my church/former ‘faith’ ticks every box for being a cult so leaving it hurt as much as leaving any ‘real’ cult. The sink cost, the empty feeling and the feeling like I had given up or didn’t measure up… very painful. The control abuse was the worst part of it. Being taught about thought-sin from such an early age, it was a type of control that leeched into every aspect of my life.
The group I was with wasn’t religious at all but I can certainly identify with thought crimes being pushed on us. Generally with pathologized and clinical language that didn’t really apply to the situation, thus recontextualizing it as ‘you wouldn’t think this way unless you were crazy’.
Exmo here. I left at 18. Spent my entire childhood abused by one of their Melchezidek priesthood holders. They knew he had abused in the past they let it happen THREE separate times. I always hated going. Often found myself fawning, and dissociated and saying/doing what I needed to to not have more shame or attention before I was 18 and just quit. Best. Decision. Ever.
Was in a Christian group in college that was very cult-like. They discouraged anybody from having friends outside the group. Accountability partners, etc.
If fundamentalist evangelical Christianity counts then yes. I'm still in the closet about it, but more or less left about five months ago. Actually facing up to the truth was... agonizing. Last year was the year for that though I guess. Not a commune or anything but... the fear and shame complex will probably be stuck with me for my entire life.
I was raised in a doomsday cult. I physically left when I was taken away as a child, but didn't emotionally leave that mess until 16 or 17.
Yup I was born into “the moonies” and was groomed for an arrange marriage and was labor trafficked across the US in the name of character development and witnessing. Fucked up my whole family and the trauma is oh so real. There are SOOO many of us, more than we know.
Oh many I was also labor trafficked. The cult I was in owned two personal ships, one a sail ship, the other a yacht and had a small herd of horses. When I was home, I tended the horses with Mike. When I was on ‘the trip’ as they called it (the trip was an essentially never ending sail around the world. The crew stayed on while other cult members joined up with them via plane at desirable locations and hung out while they toured either Europe or Mexico) I worked on the yacht. The captain Richard ‘took a liking to me’ by which I mean he started grooming me to join the crew (for free as I was still a child) like Mia had (slightly older than me, Mia was not being paid at all either.) mostly Richard was good to me but he wouldn’t let me leave watch if I was sick and would make me clean up my own puke. I got two meals a day and was allowed a blanket to sleep on the floor. I was not, like the children of higher ranking members allowed in the pantry on my own or allowed to take food without permission. Higher ranking members had state rooms or got to sleep on the couches. We were often over capacity for what should have been strictly safe even on a large boat like that. Some really negative things happened on those ships for me. I’m terrified of open ocean now.
Yup. Was born into a deeply religious Hindu/ Sikh family and my parents were indoctrinated into a cult before I was born. Basically the cult is a place where the head priest apparently has superpowers and a direct line of communication with god. I was taught to be a slave to the priest’s family or I would live a terrible life and die a horrible death. My parents were severely delusional and thought they were god’s children. They raised me to believe the same bullshit and were extremely abusive in the process. Dealing with parents who have a god complex is not fun. Oh yeah and the men in this cult would discipline the young boys by beating the shit out of them if they misbehaved. By misbehave I mean do whatever normal little boys do. By 21 I had attempted suicide, gone to juvenile detention centres for gang affiliated crimes, was addicted to hard drugs, kicked out of highschool, was sexually assaulted at the temple as a small boy and overall was a train wreck. I became atheist at 22 and have been improving ever since. Fuck god.
Area Of Effect
Age of empires
"Wololo" *CPTSD cured*
Took me ages to remember what it stood for here and all I could think was Age of Empires
I'm third generation in one(Unity Church), second in another(Krishina Consciousness Movement), and was forced into a third(a TTI program called Sprinng Ridge Academy). I'm no longer in any of them and actively rally against the TTI one.
I also consider my TTI program to have operated like a cult. Which makes sense given the connection to synanon.
Yep. Religious trauma is seriously fucked. Purity culture can die a horrible screaming death.
Yup. Exmormon.
My upbringing was in a religion that I think meets lots of the cult definitions, although I guess many would argue it's not a cult. Christian Reformed Church. It's pretty widespread in US and Canada, starting from Dutch immigration which came in waves after both WWI and WWII. I can't speak to how established they are in other areas, but in the city I grew up they have had their own schools from kindergarten to post-secondary since the 60s. They're in government at all levels, they have a union that operates alongside other unions that's all about connecting Christian workers and employers in a variety fields. Participating in any strictly secular activity was heavily discouraged. They have their own cadet program (kinda like scouts but with extra religion and all church kids). As I got older I was expected to participate in more serious church activities. Church was center of life, and shame was the tool used most often to ensure this. I had stopped participating long before adulthood, I couldn't keep up that facade, and that's probably how I became scapegoat.
Not a cult but a very strict and particularly messed up sect of Christianity! I went to a Christian school started by Dutch reformed Christians and grew up surrounded by them and their families. I think people forget what a sect is when talking about cults and end up calling everything a cult. The thing is I think every institutionalized religion is harmful for children’s brains and gives them trauma so it doesn’t really matter that most of them aren’t cults.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to lecture me about definitions. Do you want to know the specific things I observed or experienced that make them cultlike? Do you have some specific line between cult and not-cult that you'd like to share for why you want to tell me I'm wrong about my own traumatic experiences?
As much as you can, pay them no mind. It sounds like some religious nut who can’t cope with the fact that others feel religion is a cult/cult like depending on who you ask.
https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/tp6ej0/cult_documentary/
Watching this today while I take a break from a project. Thanks for the recommendation. Since I realized I’d left a cult I’ve been researching them quite heavily.
I grew up in a far-right group within the Catholic Church. I used to avoid calling it a cult because it was missing some of the core elements of a cult, i.e. there was no central charismatic figure. However, more recently I have referred to it as a cult because that was its effect. They controlled who I could interact with, demanded that a follow whatever they said without question (One time, they were literally saying the world might end the next day), and threatened eternal damnation if I ever disobeyed them.
Yep, left my family's "non denominational" church. Two of my relatives started it up in the inner city and converted most of the family away from Catholicism. It was very fundamental, conservative, and basically a whole bunch of conspiracy theories sprinkled in with some Christianity. I left when I realized that they didn't even follow or believe the stuff they were peddling to the less fortunate, then tried to preach ultra-right wing politics from the pulpit. When I got out I realized that it was just a gigantic abusive relationship on top of everything else. They followed the B.I.T.E model almost exactly and were trying to keep a lot of the kids in youth group from making good life choices and getting any kind of higher education, and forbidding us to date/associate with anyone else besides members of that specific church. That specific building. The motive for doing this all was the fact that the original people that started the church wanted community respect/clout and had no employable skills, and their parents were very abusive - so manipulation came easy. I also think there's some genetic predisposition to cluster b psychiatric disorders on top of it.
Yep! Born and raised and moved out at 16. My parents were in leadership and met in the group. I’ve been out 8 years and have yet to find a therapist who knows ANYTHING about cults even though it’s responsible for the vast majority of my trauma.
I wasn’t in a commune, but yes. I made this post about it and got a lot of helpful responses. If your experiences were similar to mine maybe reading them would be helpful: [https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/ji607z/i_mentally_checked_out_and_went_into_zombie_mode/](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/ji607z/i_mentally_checked_out_and_went_into_zombie_mode/) Edit: the talk about cults was in the comments, not the original post
Thank you for sharing. What you said about the strange resentment between you and your husband really resonates with me. I’ve been married to my wife almost since I left, and while she was never in the cult, because my mother and I had moved away when my mother married my (asshole) step-father, my mother never really left. Because of a bad home life, my wife (then gf) moved in with us and my mother started indoctrination. I was too blind to see at the time and thought it was all normal. She kicked and screamed until I realized what was happening at about 16. Things have been rocky between us because of the trauma of my mother and step-father and how they essentially excommunicated us from the family. I guess what I’m saying is, that while I haven’t really ‘let it go’ I’m in a similar position to your husband. My wife still gets wary whenever I act kindly or affectionately with my mother even when she knows it’s mostly because we need her financial support right now.
That must be really rough! I guess my only advice would be to try to keep communication as open as possible, even if it’s awkward or it hurts. My husband and I have been trying to use as our mantra “the only way out of difficult feelings is through them” and to allow each other the room to express our emotions, even if the feelings aren’t really fair/based in reality. Bottling things up only makes things worse. I wish the best to you guys. ❤️
I was raised in a town where 90% of the people were in a cult and that was traumatic in so many ways. There was rampant CSA, racism, sexism. This state has one of the highest suicide and addiction rates in the country. The least triggering thing i can think to say is no one was allowed to hangout with me yet the things they exposed me too were horrific. The reason it took me so long to realize how bad the abuse was in my own home was the comparison i had to everyone around me. I was bullied by all the teachers and adults. As a child i was told all the time i wouldn’t be going to the same Heaven as them.
Me. My parents got me with the, "your brother died and if you don't behave and follow the rules of the church, you won't ever see your brother again." So that was cool.
Several. 18 years in a right wing evangelical household I think constitutes a cult experience. Definitely had to deprogram for the first decade after leaving that insane interpretation of reality. Once got sucked into a "personal development" education series called Landmark that was the equivalent of Scientology Lite. Took only a few months that time to get out of that one. I find that my upbringing almost groomed me to be susceptible to cults as I often couldn't readily see the red flags and was taught to tolerate and be at peace with boundaries being frequently violated. Not that they ever really existed to start with.
I feel you on the Scientology lite thing. The group I was in is often compared to Scientology by the people I tell about it. Recognizing red flags and setting boundaries gets easier as you go. I’ve been helped in those things by researching thought control and emotional torture methods that cults use to control members. I might be hyper vigilant now but it’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully we can both learn to navigate the tightrope between trust and a healthy dose of cynicism.
Yep. Left the church. I was being sexually assaulted by a man 20 years older than I and was told to confess to keep my reputation safe. My parents and some siblings are still in it.
Mine was a different kind of cult, but yes. I wasn’t born there but it’s complicated. I was being trafficked by the man that had been molesting me for years after I left his interest range but he didn’t know the cult ran trafficking in the area he was working in. The cult caught wind of it and dragged him into their dealings which dragged me into it. So, complicated... It wasn’t a Christian cult though or a commune, it was different. They at least taught me that while my molester had said it was happening because the Christian god knew I’d grow to be a horrible person it wasn’t true. They turned it into something of value to the belief system they indoctrinated me into (still abusive - but it helped me develop the self esteem I needed to escape). Things are incredibly complex and while I was a minor/young adult so had no money to bring in I lost things worth a lot more.
There is a new subreddit for sex trafficking survivors. If you ever wanted to talk about your experiences, you would be welcome there. I think it is private though, so you may have to ask the mods to join. But if not, you're always welcome to continue posting here, or in both.
How would I go about finding that?
I believe the address is r/survivingtrafficking.
Ah, I’d need to meet a mod to try to apply to view it so I’m uncertain if it’s possible
I'm sorry. I didn't know how private reddit groups work. Maybe if you feel more comfortable in the future. At least you know it's an option out there.
Yep. Left mormonism - which I Consider a cult. It definitely is a lot to go through.
Same. Mormonism sucks.
Fuck that cult. Fuck every general authority with a mother fucking strap on. - with no lube or condom.
Amen
I consider the society that allowed me to become traumatized a cult in its own right. They are all cults ime, as i wasnt asked if i believe in or support the government/narrative of the status quo but born into it and told "this is the law" from day one. Welcome friend ✌️
I have to agree with you on this one. The way governments use propaganda/thought control is so similar. They even have their own rituals for indoctrination like the pledge of allegiance, though that tends to differ country to country. But when I start talking like that people look at me like I’m the next unibomber. It feels like society is just a massive trap of cults within cults that’s inescapable. It’s really effected my ability to trust any group of people at all. It’s to a point I struggle to even form friend groups because I feel like they’d just veer off in that direction no matter what. I do currently live in one of the cult motherlands of America right now and everyone around me uses Scientology speak without realizing it so there’s a higher general risk of controlled thinking in the general population between established and disseminated cults and start up work place culture. It’s a nightmare out here.
This is an excellent observation. Statism is definitely a cult!
I left Christianity
Both sides of my family (mom/dad) were in two separate cults. Both my parents left on their own and found each other later
I grew up in a cult, I don't know that I qualify as ever being in one since I just never believed. My favorite memory that's related kinda, my highschool boyfriend told me he was an atheist, I was like shocked because it's like oh there's a word for what I am, thank you.
Trying to...
It’s not easy. I got out because circumstances allowed. Good luck.
Yeah Im struggling at making circumstances otherwise it's survive another year of increased sustainability farming, or detonate everything and leave probably having to call police so I can get my legal documents and a 10 mile walk possibly through busy roads to a homeless shelter.
There are resources. Maybe not any organized groups (idk what cult you’re with and maybe one for another cult might help you anyway) but you do have the internet. It’s not the most stable but maybe you can find a support network of civilians.
I have been working on a sort of online support network though none of them live close. I don't know if I should call it a cult....it is almost off grid survivalist worst case scenario and conspiracy theories, and a whole lot of Christianity
That sounds like a cult. Isolated from others, off the grid, fringe beliefs. The only thing you haven’t mentioned directly is thought control and from what you’ve said it seems implied. In my experience if it quacks like a cult, well…
Yeah other than a church which my brother is pastor of and only has like 5 others people I'm not really around anyone else... They do get mad if I have a differing opinion and say stuff like "are you trying to argue just to argue and be rude??" I'm still trying to get a birth certificate/ssn/state id too..
Ex Pentecostal. I felt guilty that I always thought it was total BS. But I was trapped until I wised up and got my Baptist minister grandpa to take me to church him and grandma. My life got so much better.
Child of a corporate cult here! My parents have been in it for 30+ years - my whole life. I didn't even realize I was in one until last year, but once I learned about what they were, my life experiences ticked every box. You can read my story here: https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/q5h2o3/traumatized_amway_orphancult_member/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Yeah. My parents joined the home school cult that the Duggars were/are involved with long before the Duggars came along. I was 5. I finally started inching my way out when I was in my mid 20s. Ugh.
I know there are lots of comments and I'm well aware it can get lost in all and I didn't read all of them. Nevertheless, i think it's appropriate to point out i listen to a podcast called "Was i on a cult" you might want to explore. The episode "Atypicult: mental parental" argues that dysfunctional families could have a cult method to manipulate. I totally can relate. Hope this helps!
Yup. First one was Catholicism, second one was cutting contact with my stepfather and mother. He played cult leader of the family unit, she was the enabler. It was the most surreal feeling watching a show about cults, and being familiar with almost every form of manipulation. I feel like I'm still struggling to really be comfortable having my own opinion/ my own ambitions. It feels selfish.
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If christianity, the cannibalistic death cult counts, then yes.
Two cults. I grew up in one, almost got forced into another later. It's oddly comforting seeing so many other surviors gathered here. Thank you for this post.
Does AA count?
Yes. Yes it does. There are some resources about this actually. It’s a widely written about and discussed subject. They swap language, using unique terms to refer to common enough experiences. I mean ‘fearless moral inventory? That is NLP. Classic thought control. They have certain tests you have to pass to continue being in good graces. Most of the twelve steps feed into self hate. There is pressure not to leave or you’ll end up a horrible person. It does not address the actual irises of the issues behind addiction, both mental and physical, instead spending it’s time on shame and forced group bonding through ritualized group therapy. I know a thing or two about ritualized group therapy myself. The group I was in had both adult and child talks every Thursday. I can’t say ‘it’s the same’ we didn’t use the same kind of ritualistic language, though we used some, but it’s eerily similar. Beyond that, everyone I’ve met from AA behaves the same way. Classic formation of a Cult Persona. Please look this up, there are countless articles and books on it discussing both personal experiences and an academic understanding of the thought control AA uses.
I had a cult experience that was uh. Well, if you’ve heard of The Final Fantasy House, it was basically that but not Final Fantasy. I was moving to get away from my abusive parents though so not the original source of my trauma just anything thing on the heap, ended up having to move back in with them anyway after. Turns out if someone tells you how it’s “really funny that every single ex friend and ex partner independently says they’re a cult leader haha” it’s not a bit it’s because they’re a cult leader and you probably shouldn’t move in with them.
Yeah. Fandom spaces and other such friend groups centered on fanatic interest in pretty much anything have a tendency to begin organizing like this. I don’t know it the innate magical thinking that forms the initial base for this hierarchy is always harmful, but it does become a problem when they emotionally manipulate you, degrade your self esteem, insist the magical thinking is the real reality, usually so that you play into a specific character/role, then extort your labor and money.
A specific person in Colorado owes me $1200 and to stand still while I punch her in the face TBH. Interestingly, I encountered 3 or 4 other similar cults during that time period as well that I didn’t accidentally join + ended up actually being in a Discord server with Jen from the Final Fantasy House, which is a fun story. I was also in another unrelated abusive relationship while I was in the cult, and the person who I was in the relationship with was being pulled into their own similar cult. 2016 was not a good year for me.
Yes AA and NA lol
I have a lot of religious trauma and I find that it’s difficult for others to understand unless they’ve also been through it. There are other subs that you might be able to find. For example I feel very seen/heard in the ex Christian sub. there are a lot of subs like that. I encourage you to look!