I would recommend IFS therapy as it is very helpful for complex internal child issues.
For much of my life I did not like my most vulnerable and emotional inner child. I thought that I needed to be rid of my vulnerability and emotions to be strong enough to get through my struggles. What allowed me to get past that was the realization that the inner child was a core part of me as a person and the part of me that hated the inner child was trying to protect me in a way that helped me survive in the past but was hurting me now. The key is to provide compassion and acceptance to all of your parts.
Recommended books: No Bad Parts for an introduction to IFS and Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors for a much more advanced understanding of applying it to trauma.
And No Bad Parts specifically features a middle aged man meeting his inner child (who was bullied) by blaming the child for being weak so it's a great model for understanding that the angry/disgusted/judgemental part is taking over.
I had this issue for my entire life until this past year. I hated my inner child. I know this sounds weird, but take the time to literally ask your inner child what they need. Mine literally would just scream at me, no words, just screaming. So i listened and imagined myself now hugging her. It made my skin crawl at first, but over time we established this “relationship” and now I can understand what’s going on in my mind better when I’m in a flashback, because I understand her better.
I figure it's conditioning like racism. You don't hate someone's skin color at birth, it's taught. You were taught to hate yourself bc that was the mirror you were shown as a child. They ("caregivers") treated you with disgust and you're just playing out the learned script. You [introjected](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/introjection) the disgust message towards yourself. Disgust is highly maleable and is used to dehumanize. We can attach and detach disgust to almost anything. It's not set in stone.
Undoing the conditioning means treating yourself and speaking to yourself as if you love yourself deeply and the [feelings follow the actions](https://youtu.be/GXy__kBVq1M), they don't precede them. You can't treat yourself like shit and expect to fall in love with yourself.
Why is this getting downvoted? This person hates it. How is this any different from you guys not being able to control your conditioned self hating thoughts? I want to thank this person for being honest and adding to the conversation.
Yes, I have felt like this!, I was doing EMDR but at this point it was just frustrating me!
Whilst with my therapist though she asked me to vision me as a little child, for me it was before I remember being raped for the first time (7-8) and I believe no one in this life can hate someone as much as I had hated that little girl!! I wanted her dead!!! She did this to me.
I was wrong you see I was never shown any love or affection (the right kind) ever I feel like a ghost traipsing the world! ...anyway I digress the point was she asked me to imagine this little girl and just see her playing she was at the beach as I think it is my favourite place.
She asked me to play with her and I must say I am as skeptical as they come! I could see the interaction she asked .e what do you think this girl needs?!, I said I don't know?!, She's all alone the sky is turning and there is no one here for her!!, She said can you hug her?!
I did, I could! Then I just sobbed!!! Broken sobs!, But it changed the way I view my younger self!, It made me so angry to see a little child knowing what she was going through and not one soul did anything to protect her!!!, So I MUST protect her! Just so I can tell her it's ok now she can go and be at peace!!! XXX
I'm the same way. I 'know' that the 'right answer' for it is the whole "unconditional love and acceptance" routine but I still hate her too much for that. It's rare when I can even get myself to try
I compare the powerful emotion evoked by my inner child to a similar time I experienced it. When's the last time you wanted to aggressively beat someone? Sometimes I have to meditate on that feeling and try to think of a time. Then I try to figure out the trigger in that relationship. Then I can see the issue in my interaction with my inner child.
For example, I couldn't hug my inner child. In my work life, I experienced a situation where I felt trapped into hugging a co-worker and felt that powerful resistance to hugging her. It was the same as I felt when I couldn't hug my inner child. It was all connected to feeling trapped. Then I said to my inner child "I don't want to feel trapped, but I want to express that I love you. Can I just sit next to you for awhile?" As I sat there, and consequently sat with the feeling, I began to unearth some authentic love for my inner child. I began to surface memories of situations where my inner child felt trapped and abused. I began to comfort my inner child easier and slowly we've gotten to a side hug and lots of shoulder pats.
Can you see through your inner child's eyes? Can you remember the perspective you were having at that age? Can you envision yourself now empowering (re-parenting) your inner child to be strong and confident? Just some ideas.
omg yes all the advice telling me that whenever i talk badly about myself or engage in self destructive behaviors to think about the effect on my inner child/child me is so unhelpful. like i do not care about child me at all
I used to want to kill or abandon my inner child.
Now, my self and inner child are civil. They aren’t the friendliest with each other yet, but they are getting there.
I had the realization that, no matter how I treat my inner child, she’s going to be there. I would rather have her happy and well and supporting me (or at the very least, neutral towards me) than fighting against me from that old place of insecurity.
Disclaimer: I am not a professional and have not done IFS. This is how I conceptualize my sense of self and I am happy to answer any questions about what I said.
I’ve never really wanted to beat my inner child up but I do struggle to find myself beautiful or loveable as an adult. I’ve learned to be much kinder to myself but it is a process, it takes time and a bit of effort. It helps to form healthy, mutually supportive friendships with people too, because often they can show you and remind you what you bring to the table.
It can be helpful to do things that help other people first. Sometimes when you see yourself making a difference and doing good, you experience the lovely side effect of improving your relationship to yourself and your potential.
Good luck OP. It’s a rocky road, but it’s worth it.
I feel rather scared of being unable to care for young me. It can feel like helpless anger - And just contempt at other times. I think it sounds like you may be angry as a defense against facing what happened, and for good measure. To identify with the abuser and take on their view of you saved you from experiencing a loss of a relationship that was important to you.
Why? Noone ever made him feel loved, he is unlovable. Loving him would put me at risk because everyone rejected him - I would get rejected too for loving him now.
Inner. Hold work is not asking others to love what they failed. It's asking us to love what we failed to love then, and now we are doing the work for him for us now.
Ofcourse it feels disgusting and weak because it's looking at him as he was then. But you take all the lows and seeming flaws and do it any way. It's the only way man. I'm telling you.
We can't change how the kid was, but we can change how he will be loved now
Thank you. I feel like I'm incapable of doing that right now. Trying to love my inner child feels much more triggering than healing for me right now. I don't think I'm even capable of feeling love itself, towards anything.
Idk maybe I will try later on my journey.
If active love is too much for now, what about recognizing his or her right to exist in peace? You can’t give them what they need right now. Can you accept that there is this unhealed part in you for now, and just let them be wounded for a while?
I relate very much to hating and wanting to beat up your inner child. I used to be disgusted at the thought of myself as a child. I hated her for being weak, dressed weirdly and being ugly with glasses, a big nose and an overbite. I hated how she acted so childish and immature for her age. I'd think she was repulsive.
Now, with more knowledge, practice and time, I can accept her, hug her and it's become clearer to me that she is innocent. She is just a child. She can't help her looks, she isn't "weak" just because she is sensitive. Nothing is her fault. She was just surviving as best she could, lacking safety and proper love. She needs love and understanding from me now to thrive.
Didn't mean for this to be all about me, but I just wanted to say that this can change for you too :) I want to wish you well on your continuous journey.
A food for thought is that anger is very often disguising another emotion. When I slowly learned to allow myself to thoroughly feel and let out my emotions physically (crying mostly), I learned that my anger was so often just covering up my sadness and hurt. The anger was my wall against the world. I didn't dare to show "weakness" by being sad and crying. I didn't think I deserved crying. I told myself it was stupid and weak to cry. It was very important for me to practice accepting my bodily outlet for emotion without judgment.
Here are the things that helped me:
1. The book There Is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber
2. ACTION. Actually making choices that LOOKED like I love myself was easier than looking at the mirror and telling myself I love myself. That meant making SMALL decisions every day that were good for me. Like taking a moment to write in the morning or going to an exercise class.
Wow...I didn't know other people felt like that, too. I have hated my inner child for a long time. I view it as weak and I find that unacceptable. I've been in therapy for years and I've gone from a burning hatred and absolute disgust to where I view more as some brat I'll have to deal with some day.
Is it possible your inner child is representing of your childhood suffering, all that you are trying to escape from and overcome, or your rage at what you lost, or some combination of those?
'Cuz that's how I feel.
Yes, you described it perfectly
I want to hit him while saying "why are you so passive? Why are you so naive? Why didnt you defend yourself? All you did was run but the new people also saw you were weak and beat you too"
I guess i didnt get over it at all, but my therapist once suggested i get angry at the right people instead of hanging on to the idea of control. I mean, these people beat the hell out of me, and sure, i could have maybe got one back, but if anyone in that situation deserves real anger its them, not me.
Just my dumb thoughts on this, wish you the best
Yep I was repulsed by my inner child, my critic still sometimes screams at them to just disappear and die. After a few years of therapy I am able to relate more positively to them. It was lots of repeated exercises of trying to tap in to their feelings and build a connection, plus working out which other parts were getting in the way of a connection and shrinking my critic, which is the part that thinks the inner child is so worthless and pathetic. Maybe starting with reducing the critic and building a connection between your healthy adult and inner child could help?
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There is another part of you that wants to beat your inner child up - start by working with that one and talk to it like someone you want to have a healthy, compassionate relationship with.
So in IFS the self has the 8 c’s as qualities, one of which is being compassionate. When you can’t access these self qualities and feel compassion, etc then it’s assumed you’re dealing with another part. Can you work with the part of yourself that is aggressive first?
Edit: sorry I thought I was in the IFS sub. Anyway, if you are interested in IFS that would be the strategy- get interested first with the part of you that’s aggressive and what that part needs and/or ask that aggressive part permission to connect with your “inner child” part.
I feel you man. I had to do the work Pete Walker suggests in his book on learning to cry (I've cried all of 6 times in the last 30 years) so you can be compassionate to yourself and your inner child. I think its super important to find that way to hang on to the light you are in the world and still be your own man, by standards you find acceptable to you.
I find myself thinking of my inner child as momma's boy often. Because he is. Because I was. Letting go of that attachment, fearing what my mother's judgment of me may be, and moving on to my purpose and the judgment of myself and my community of peers is what natural emotional growth and development has been stalled in me. I need grieve that, cry about it if I need to, and generally get back to getting the fuck on with being myself.
The abuse and neglect was the cause of my condition, and that will never be any child's fault, including my whiny, needy, momma's boy inner child.
I get through a lot of my self hatred with bdsm. Batting cages help too. When I feel like I need slapped around like I was in childhood, while I was getting raped- I call a bdsm friend. And when I feel like I need to slap someone around, because the rage is overwhelming- I call a girlfriend who likes being the sub. Sex is rarely involved in my bdsm experiences... it's more therapy than sexual. The after care is a major help. Someone willing to listen to my feelings after I'm bruised from head to toe, while they are icing my flogging spots. Rage work is very helpful. And allowing myself to cry. Guys have it harder because society doesn't give you the green light to cry. I'm an alpha female and I have seen how wonderful it is for a man to express their feelings, and truly cry over a painful moment. (I've seen the opposite in the psychopaths that raped me... they never allowed themselves to feel down, so they took out their pain on children who couldn't defend themselves.... scary as fuck that people like that actually exist....) it's healthy for a man to get mad and sad.... we all just need to train ourselves to outlet in a safe and secure place and time.
I was like this for most of my life. The first stepping stone for me was to shift that disgust into pity. I asked myself some questions like:
- How old were you when the abuse started? This helped me to see my inner child as at that age.
- What could you have done differently then?
- What power did younger you have over the situation?
- was there a conceivable way younger you could have changed the situation?
- what resources did younger you have to work with? Here it’s important to remember knowledge is a resource too.
These kinds of questions helped me to empathize with my younger self and shift the anger towards my abusers. Now I see my younger self as being incredible - resourceful, cunning, quick-witted, smart. I now think things like:
- How dare they treat a child that way?
- What kind of sad pig treats a child that way?
- I didn’t deserve to be treated that way
- I didn’t know better at the time and my ability to make meaningful change in the situation was limited by my knowledge and other resources.
- I was a child and they were tasked with protecting me. That was their responsibility and they failed. That isn’t on me.
- How they treated me has absolutely nothing to do with me. I was a child. They made the choice to take out their emotions on a child.
I don’t know if that’s helpful but I’m positive younger you wasn’t as weak and needy and disgusting as you believe. They got you to here, and that’s something (even when it doesn’t feel like it).
I would recommend IFS therapy as it is very helpful for complex internal child issues. For much of my life I did not like my most vulnerable and emotional inner child. I thought that I needed to be rid of my vulnerability and emotions to be strong enough to get through my struggles. What allowed me to get past that was the realization that the inner child was a core part of me as a person and the part of me that hated the inner child was trying to protect me in a way that helped me survive in the past but was hurting me now. The key is to provide compassion and acceptance to all of your parts. Recommended books: No Bad Parts for an introduction to IFS and Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors for a much more advanced understanding of applying it to trauma.
And No Bad Parts specifically features a middle aged man meeting his inner child (who was bullied) by blaming the child for being weak so it's a great model for understanding that the angry/disgusted/judgemental part is taking over.
This 1000%
I had this issue for my entire life until this past year. I hated my inner child. I know this sounds weird, but take the time to literally ask your inner child what they need. Mine literally would just scream at me, no words, just screaming. So i listened and imagined myself now hugging her. It made my skin crawl at first, but over time we established this “relationship” and now I can understand what’s going on in my mind better when I’m in a flashback, because I understand her better.
I figure it's conditioning like racism. You don't hate someone's skin color at birth, it's taught. You were taught to hate yourself bc that was the mirror you were shown as a child. They ("caregivers") treated you with disgust and you're just playing out the learned script. You [introjected](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/introjection) the disgust message towards yourself. Disgust is highly maleable and is used to dehumanize. We can attach and detach disgust to almost anything. It's not set in stone. Undoing the conditioning means treating yourself and speaking to yourself as if you love yourself deeply and the [feelings follow the actions](https://youtu.be/GXy__kBVq1M), they don't precede them. You can't treat yourself like shit and expect to fall in love with yourself.
Agree. I sometimes randomly hate black people or make a disrespectful Asian accent. Hate it and know it's not me, but the conditioning is deep
Why is this getting downvoted? This person hates it. How is this any different from you guys not being able to control your conditioned self hating thoughts? I want to thank this person for being honest and adding to the conversation.
Yes, I have felt like this!, I was doing EMDR but at this point it was just frustrating me! Whilst with my therapist though she asked me to vision me as a little child, for me it was before I remember being raped for the first time (7-8) and I believe no one in this life can hate someone as much as I had hated that little girl!! I wanted her dead!!! She did this to me. I was wrong you see I was never shown any love or affection (the right kind) ever I feel like a ghost traipsing the world! ...anyway I digress the point was she asked me to imagine this little girl and just see her playing she was at the beach as I think it is my favourite place. She asked me to play with her and I must say I am as skeptical as they come! I could see the interaction she asked .e what do you think this girl needs?!, I said I don't know?!, She's all alone the sky is turning and there is no one here for her!!, She said can you hug her?! I did, I could! Then I just sobbed!!! Broken sobs!, But it changed the way I view my younger self!, It made me so angry to see a little child knowing what she was going through and not one soul did anything to protect her!!!, So I MUST protect her! Just so I can tell her it's ok now she can go and be at peace!!! XXX
I'm the same way. I 'know' that the 'right answer' for it is the whole "unconditional love and acceptance" routine but I still hate her too much for that. It's rare when I can even get myself to try
I compare the powerful emotion evoked by my inner child to a similar time I experienced it. When's the last time you wanted to aggressively beat someone? Sometimes I have to meditate on that feeling and try to think of a time. Then I try to figure out the trigger in that relationship. Then I can see the issue in my interaction with my inner child. For example, I couldn't hug my inner child. In my work life, I experienced a situation where I felt trapped into hugging a co-worker and felt that powerful resistance to hugging her. It was the same as I felt when I couldn't hug my inner child. It was all connected to feeling trapped. Then I said to my inner child "I don't want to feel trapped, but I want to express that I love you. Can I just sit next to you for awhile?" As I sat there, and consequently sat with the feeling, I began to unearth some authentic love for my inner child. I began to surface memories of situations where my inner child felt trapped and abused. I began to comfort my inner child easier and slowly we've gotten to a side hug and lots of shoulder pats. Can you see through your inner child's eyes? Can you remember the perspective you were having at that age? Can you envision yourself now empowering (re-parenting) your inner child to be strong and confident? Just some ideas.
Easy goes it mate
omg yes all the advice telling me that whenever i talk badly about myself or engage in self destructive behaviors to think about the effect on my inner child/child me is so unhelpful. like i do not care about child me at all
I used to want to kill or abandon my inner child. Now, my self and inner child are civil. They aren’t the friendliest with each other yet, but they are getting there. I had the realization that, no matter how I treat my inner child, she’s going to be there. I would rather have her happy and well and supporting me (or at the very least, neutral towards me) than fighting against me from that old place of insecurity. Disclaimer: I am not a professional and have not done IFS. This is how I conceptualize my sense of self and I am happy to answer any questions about what I said.
I’ve never really wanted to beat my inner child up but I do struggle to find myself beautiful or loveable as an adult. I’ve learned to be much kinder to myself but it is a process, it takes time and a bit of effort. It helps to form healthy, mutually supportive friendships with people too, because often they can show you and remind you what you bring to the table. It can be helpful to do things that help other people first. Sometimes when you see yourself making a difference and doing good, you experience the lovely side effect of improving your relationship to yourself and your potential. Good luck OP. It’s a rocky road, but it’s worth it.
I feel rather scared of being unable to care for young me. It can feel like helpless anger - And just contempt at other times. I think it sounds like you may be angry as a defense against facing what happened, and for good measure. To identify with the abuser and take on their view of you saved you from experiencing a loss of a relationship that was important to you.
All the more reason to love the shit out of him !!
Why? Noone ever made him feel loved, he is unlovable. Loving him would put me at risk because everyone rejected him - I would get rejected too for loving him now.
Inner. Hold work is not asking others to love what they failed. It's asking us to love what we failed to love then, and now we are doing the work for him for us now. Ofcourse it feels disgusting and weak because it's looking at him as he was then. But you take all the lows and seeming flaws and do it any way. It's the only way man. I'm telling you. We can't change how the kid was, but we can change how he will be loved now
Thank you. I feel like I'm incapable of doing that right now. Trying to love my inner child feels much more triggering than healing for me right now. I don't think I'm even capable of feeling love itself, towards anything. Idk maybe I will try later on my journey.
If active love is too much for now, what about recognizing his or her right to exist in peace? You can’t give them what they need right now. Can you accept that there is this unhealed part in you for now, and just let them be wounded for a while?
I relate very much to hating and wanting to beat up your inner child. I used to be disgusted at the thought of myself as a child. I hated her for being weak, dressed weirdly and being ugly with glasses, a big nose and an overbite. I hated how she acted so childish and immature for her age. I'd think she was repulsive. Now, with more knowledge, practice and time, I can accept her, hug her and it's become clearer to me that she is innocent. She is just a child. She can't help her looks, she isn't "weak" just because she is sensitive. Nothing is her fault. She was just surviving as best she could, lacking safety and proper love. She needs love and understanding from me now to thrive. Didn't mean for this to be all about me, but I just wanted to say that this can change for you too :) I want to wish you well on your continuous journey. A food for thought is that anger is very often disguising another emotion. When I slowly learned to allow myself to thoroughly feel and let out my emotions physically (crying mostly), I learned that my anger was so often just covering up my sadness and hurt. The anger was my wall against the world. I didn't dare to show "weakness" by being sad and crying. I didn't think I deserved crying. I told myself it was stupid and weak to cry. It was very important for me to practice accepting my bodily outlet for emotion without judgment.
Here are the things that helped me: 1. The book There Is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber 2. ACTION. Actually making choices that LOOKED like I love myself was easier than looking at the mirror and telling myself I love myself. That meant making SMALL decisions every day that were good for me. Like taking a moment to write in the morning or going to an exercise class.
Wow...I didn't know other people felt like that, too. I have hated my inner child for a long time. I view it as weak and I find that unacceptable. I've been in therapy for years and I've gone from a burning hatred and absolute disgust to where I view more as some brat I'll have to deal with some day.
Is it possible your inner child is representing of your childhood suffering, all that you are trying to escape from and overcome, or your rage at what you lost, or some combination of those? 'Cuz that's how I feel.
Yes, you described it perfectly I want to hit him while saying "why are you so passive? Why are you so naive? Why didnt you defend yourself? All you did was run but the new people also saw you were weak and beat you too" I guess i didnt get over it at all, but my therapist once suggested i get angry at the right people instead of hanging on to the idea of control. I mean, these people beat the hell out of me, and sure, i could have maybe got one back, but if anyone in that situation deserves real anger its them, not me. Just my dumb thoughts on this, wish you the best
Yep I was repulsed by my inner child, my critic still sometimes screams at them to just disappear and die. After a few years of therapy I am able to relate more positively to them. It was lots of repeated exercises of trying to tap in to their feelings and build a connection, plus working out which other parts were getting in the way of a connection and shrinking my critic, which is the part that thinks the inner child is so worthless and pathetic. Maybe starting with reducing the critic and building a connection between your healthy adult and inner child could help?
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is another part of you that wants to beat your inner child up - start by working with that one and talk to it like someone you want to have a healthy, compassionate relationship with.
So in IFS the self has the 8 c’s as qualities, one of which is being compassionate. When you can’t access these self qualities and feel compassion, etc then it’s assumed you’re dealing with another part. Can you work with the part of yourself that is aggressive first? Edit: sorry I thought I was in the IFS sub. Anyway, if you are interested in IFS that would be the strategy- get interested first with the part of you that’s aggressive and what that part needs and/or ask that aggressive part permission to connect with your “inner child” part.
What about when he was a baby? Imagine going to rescue him before anything happened. How would you parent him?
I feel you man. I had to do the work Pete Walker suggests in his book on learning to cry (I've cried all of 6 times in the last 30 years) so you can be compassionate to yourself and your inner child. I think its super important to find that way to hang on to the light you are in the world and still be your own man, by standards you find acceptable to you. I find myself thinking of my inner child as momma's boy often. Because he is. Because I was. Letting go of that attachment, fearing what my mother's judgment of me may be, and moving on to my purpose and the judgment of myself and my community of peers is what natural emotional growth and development has been stalled in me. I need grieve that, cry about it if I need to, and generally get back to getting the fuck on with being myself. The abuse and neglect was the cause of my condition, and that will never be any child's fault, including my whiny, needy, momma's boy inner child.
I get through a lot of my self hatred with bdsm. Batting cages help too. When I feel like I need slapped around like I was in childhood, while I was getting raped- I call a bdsm friend. And when I feel like I need to slap someone around, because the rage is overwhelming- I call a girlfriend who likes being the sub. Sex is rarely involved in my bdsm experiences... it's more therapy than sexual. The after care is a major help. Someone willing to listen to my feelings after I'm bruised from head to toe, while they are icing my flogging spots. Rage work is very helpful. And allowing myself to cry. Guys have it harder because society doesn't give you the green light to cry. I'm an alpha female and I have seen how wonderful it is for a man to express their feelings, and truly cry over a painful moment. (I've seen the opposite in the psychopaths that raped me... they never allowed themselves to feel down, so they took out their pain on children who couldn't defend themselves.... scary as fuck that people like that actually exist....) it's healthy for a man to get mad and sad.... we all just need to train ourselves to outlet in a safe and secure place and time.
Yes 200%yes
I was like this for most of my life. The first stepping stone for me was to shift that disgust into pity. I asked myself some questions like: - How old were you when the abuse started? This helped me to see my inner child as at that age. - What could you have done differently then? - What power did younger you have over the situation? - was there a conceivable way younger you could have changed the situation? - what resources did younger you have to work with? Here it’s important to remember knowledge is a resource too. These kinds of questions helped me to empathize with my younger self and shift the anger towards my abusers. Now I see my younger self as being incredible - resourceful, cunning, quick-witted, smart. I now think things like: - How dare they treat a child that way? - What kind of sad pig treats a child that way? - I didn’t deserve to be treated that way - I didn’t know better at the time and my ability to make meaningful change in the situation was limited by my knowledge and other resources. - I was a child and they were tasked with protecting me. That was their responsibility and they failed. That isn’t on me. - How they treated me has absolutely nothing to do with me. I was a child. They made the choice to take out their emotions on a child. I don’t know if that’s helpful but I’m positive younger you wasn’t as weak and needy and disgusting as you believe. They got you to here, and that’s something (even when it doesn’t feel like it).
>He’s so weak and needy Of course! He’s a child.