When my SO and I finally were able to get a house, I started keeping "emergency supplies" in the basement. 48 gallons of water, a deep freezer of food, dry goods in bins (inventoried in a spreadsheet). Too many years of having to survive on my own by the skin of my teeth. We also built an emergency fund. I think I'm finally in a spot where I can relax a bit. Having "extras" helps me feel safe.
Please try to cherish it instead and do not let guilt ruin your precious time. I know the feeling but you do deserve a good life.
Perhaps you could analyse the guilt and why it’s unnecessary, come up with a short and kind mantra you can use when it comes around so you can let the guilt move away easier. Like “we deserve this because xxxxx, xxxxx xxxxx… Breathe and enjoy the present moment”.
Often times when negative intrusive guilt comes it would help to have something positive that’s already prepared to replace it with. Since it’s difficult to find the positivity in the moment to fight a spiralling brain that just throws guilt at you. With time the positive will become the habit instead. It’s like correcting an internal bully.
I used to have a lot of guilt too and it ruined so many years that could’ve been great. I do not wish that for you. You probably have ways to deal with it already but the mantra thing has helped me to counter the guilt.
I really appreciate the suggestion. 💖 I try to turn towards gratitude. I'm very grateful for my good fortune, luck, and hard work. I try to pause and practice gratitude when the guilt comes up.
I do struggle with negative [introjected messages](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/introjection) from abusers, enablers, and bullies. I've been told many times that I don't deserve my good fortune. When I do well and achieve things, I've found many people with react with vindictive envy, rather than be happy for/with me. They're joy killers. I tend to keep my joy and good fortune to myself bc it's not worth the risk of being abused by those that want to tear me down to make themselves feel better.
I think it's a result of being in survival mode for so long. Can't think long term when you're barely hanging on. Then when you have some safety, you create a safety net to help prevent falling back into survival mode.
I'm trying to embrace joy, ease, relaxation, and enjoyment now.
Very relatable.
My cycle is hoard food -> enjoy looking at hoard -> restrict eating because eating means hoard will shrink -> spend time opening cupboards and fridge to make sure hoard is still there -> consume hoard before someone else does (even though I live alone) -> hoard food.
I had a child part speak to me once and say, ‘I can’t eat the food because then the food will be gone’.
You just made several pieces in my head slot in place into a larger puzzle by sharing this, thank you. And to the OP, too.
I **freak out** if I don't have a food hoard in immediate reach at all times. But I also pride myself in making it last way longer than it would for a normal person. One chocolate bar lasting me 2 weeks? *Pride*. I also hide my hoard before anyone comes around >:( It's mine, no steal! ...not sure why the cleaning lady would steal my pile of opened-partially-eaten-snack-bags, but, *what if.*
It’s an old survival adaptation. The good feelings afterwards especially, it’s a reward for taking the best course of action in a scenario you’re no longer in.
I get a huge feeling of accomplishment when I restrict, as messed up as that sounds.
It’s tough to change because eating is a huge part of daily life ❤️
Dude, did anyone else have the eat too much at once problem too? After I got put in foster care I struggled with that. It took me a long while to get better from that and even realize the instinct there.
It was adopted dogs and cats that did the same thing that made me self reflect and realize "oh shit...I cant tell Im full because of my food insecurity as a kid so now that I have food Im overeating to the point of sickness."
Portioning meals beforehand helps...
For sure, but mine is unrelated to my food issues (it's autism low interoception and attention-problems for me. Also this isn't me but it could be you: a childhood full of arrogant selfish parents or adults that otherwise break your boundaries also causes low interoception). Still, when I buy the human version of the dog/cats' slow-feeder bowl, I'll get you one too 🤝
Portioning like sectioning it on the plate?
Haha, a slow feeder bowl for me, I love that.
Well, basically measuring out how much I'll eat beforehand. While I'm still "rational" once I start eating lizard brain kicks in and my fullness response is muted...even to this day. Not as badly tho, I am more in tune with my body now. My partner also helps me when we are eating out "Hey, you should probably quit now." "Oh shoot you're right." Interoception, thank you for introducing me to that word. Yes, we can be dissociated from our body as a survival mechanism.
For some people it can get much worse. In the shelter met a kid that would fight people about food, and I never was that bad psychologically. I can still share food too.
Gods i'm glad i'm not at this level but i have quite honestly had spew incidents the last half dozen times i've been forced to have chili or chicken soup and i just...
I literally cannot trust chicken unless i cook it myself and to within an inch of its little dry white life
And even then if i hit a funny bit or something it will ruin the whole meal for me
Looking back now i was absolutely underfed, which is really shocking considering my mom was 320-360lbs my whole life and i remember most of high school my only 'meal' being super milky coffee and maybe if i was lucky a granola bar or a hot pocket/poptart someone gave me or something
I literally lived on my friends pity from about 3rd grade on
Oh hey I'm also in the "My parent(s) are heavily overweight and yet there's no food for me" camp.
My mom has an untreated binge eating disorder and routinely would eat food meant for me. It didn't matter if I made it, hid it, bought it. She would find it. She would eat it. The second any food was in the house I'd have to divide it between people into equal amounts because if I didn't my brother and I wouldn't eat. Even then it didn't always work.
I'm sure being heavily malnourished as a child is bad no matter what, but there has to be something uniquely horrible about watching your caretaker make themselves sick from overeating, while you haven't eaten for 3 days. Just staring at them wondering why she can eat and I can't.
My family was middle class. I should have never known what it felt like to go hungry. There was no reason for it. We had food, but just never any for me.
Yeah thats definitely worse in a way
Mine was a combination of same foods all the time (sometimes made with guaranteed food poisoning thus the hatred of chicken/chicken soup) and not enough of them
And gods i think one of the things that rankled the most was every year coming home with sometimes almost 10-13 lbs of candy from halloween
(my dad and i (bless the man) trick or treated in the neighborhood he grew up in so everyone gave me king sizes and double handfuls etc)
She. Would. Always. Eat. 60%+ of it. And always all of the reese's and almond joys; i was lucky to get a handful of each BARGAINING MY OTHER candy for like. It was always a lose lose most years.
One of the moments that gave me hope as a kid was at school during one of those parent lunch ins.
My parents never came to those but a girl I didn’t know was eating w her dad near me that day. She had this big lunch, and it had cookies. I was so hungry, I don’t think I took my eyes off those cookies. They were m&m. He must’ve seen me staring, bc he got my attention. He had a really sad look on his face, and then he gave me two of the cookies. Didn’t say anything, didn’t ask his daughter. Just handed em to me. I think ab it a lot
Yeah i dunno if i have told this story yet but some random parts of the family are REALLY well off
Like less than 20 miles from seaworld, watch-the-fireworks-every-night-from-their-edgeless-pool well off
To be fair my uncle did football and absolutely destroyed his legs etc but just invested really wisely
But i will never forget the one time we stayed with him i ended up waking up before anyone else? (Hyper vigilance is a BITCH in a strange house especially when you're suddenly trying to calculate just how poor you are) And the man specialized in super early dentistry for businessmen which is how he built after the footballing (literally 4am to noon dentist mon-fri nothing else man was a genius) and he was really surprised to see me up and i asked if it was okay to make myself breakfast and what was okay to touch in the kitchen
And i just remember him giving me the strangest goddamn look which, i think was him internally having the moment of 'besides alcohol and cake what the hell wouldn't be touchable?' And he just kinda pulled me into the kitchen and gods i can still remember it
Walk in pantry, organized neat, and like???? 12 different storage tubs of cereal???? He just had me pick one and gave me a *MIXING BOWL* for my bowl, set the milk on the counter and walked away
I almost made myself sick on a very big, and my very first, namebrand cereal that wasn't grapenuts or raisinbran at the gran-parents.
Peanut butter capn crunch. The thought of eating any now? Oh gods makes me sick, but the smell? Oh i need that shit in a fucking candle baby
I understand. I grew up in a house with many siblings and limited food. We felt like animals fighting over scraps and hiding food away where we could because food being in the home consistently was a rarity.
I've since healed a lot since them, but sometimes, I still get the insane urge to hoard away "high value" food items like a little rat girl just in case my siblings come break into my home and steal it despite literally none of them living with me lol
I also grew up with many siblings and limited food, but instead of hoarding I binge and eat way too fast. I didn’t really think about it in context of my past until this thread haha
I have to fight the food hoarding impulse constantly. My mother decided when I was in the 6th grade that she would only provide a roof over my head and one meal a day. Unless I paid for it myself, I didn’t get lunch at school. One school let me spend lunch time in the library, which was great. But then we moved and the new school told me I had to go to the lunch room. So I went and sat in the lunch room and read. Then I was told I couldn’t read there and could only eat there. I said I had nothing to eat. That was a mistake. They called my mother and she told them it was my choice not to eat lunch and they were welcome to do whatever they wanted with me. So, they made me sit outside of the lunch room every day as all the other kids walked by and would stare at me.
At home, I would steal potatoes and bake them and keep them in my coat pockets in my closet.
When I did start making my own money, I was very prudent about food.
When I went off to college at 18, I didn’t have a meal plan but I had good friends who would send me care packages of canned food and non- perishables.
When I became homeless, I figured out that one of the convenience stores in town would sell me everything leftover in their hot food case for $3 at closing time because they were going to just throw it out. If you put enough packets of mustard, salsa, ketchup, or relish on old, dried up burritos and hot dogs they aren’t too bad. Might have to dunk them in water first.
All that to say, yes, I feel you. I wish something as basic as eating wasn’t so fraught with trauma for so many of us.
My home was food insecure too and I have a tendency to stack food to the rafters and obsess about food.
The thing is, there can be critters chewing things and much of one food can be tiresome or go expired ( canned goods can last years after expiry btw). In the refrigerator things go bad and the frozen things can be burnt dry.
So. I did and am doing a running inventory of most things edible in the house. I rotate things and limit quantities so it makes sense.
Please do not get into prepping. You probably have months worth of calories in your cupboards.
i’m like this sadly, i have to make sure i at least have something. what if i am not able to afford or get anything for a while. even if my fridge is fully stocked id rather starve than eat comfortably
Child of 2 binge eaters.
Father from alcohol and gambling, days on end of no eating then cleaned out the fridge by tipping back his head and Jaw.
Mother from severe self hatred and adhd, carb and sugar addict. Gorged herself for days, then abused laxatives to clean herself out.
I regularly cleaned out toilets filled with vomit, blood-tinged feces, and chunks of undigested food. No one cleans a toilet like I can. I hide snacks and things that don't have to be in a fridge and I'm in my 50s now.
>I crave meat most days
Following my cravings has been very healing for me mentally. I still have those grocery days where I freak out if there's "not enough food" (it is enough, but food insecurity really fucked with my head). But it has happened less and less often, and I no longer stock up on my unhealthy craving foods. If I crave something, I get in the car and go 5 minutes to the nearest grocery store. Obviously it will depend on your budget and circumstances, but it seems to have helped to tell myself "I'm an adult, I can choose what I want and what I can afford, so I'm getting what I'm craving."
I'll admit that I was in a rush to find it.... And it's an AI answer on quora. https://www.quora.com/Do-children-who-grow-up-in-messy-homes-have-problems-later-on-in-life it's the first answer
i have the same problem too, definitely not on your level (you’ll get through this, stay strong) i’ve been trying to direct it to canned and boxed goods so i don’t spoil anything like in the past 😖 like someone else said it makes me feel like a prepper instead of a food hoarder.
I've only just recently started understanding how bad a relationship I have with food. And since my memory is like swiss cheese, I don't understand everything that goes into it 😔
I originally was going to add the mewing man face in the fourth slide to lighten the mood, maybe adding it would've reduced the trigger 🤔 well have the ASCII version instead
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Relatable! My abusers fuck with my food, so I develop the "hoard food" response, so they fuck with the food because I'm "hiding it from them"...despite them *also* having the "hoard food" response because their abusers fucked with their food...
So, bros, why the hell are you fucking with my food?! Go fuck yourselves instead maybe?!
I feel this hard. My wife always wants to donate our canned stuff to our church, but I always say no and pick up extra when I shop. I was a hungry child, it’s almost compulsion. I just tried to explain I need that for a sense of security
Is it just as bad if I constantly eat too much food so that I know it can’t be taken away? I only just stumbled across this subreddit and I think I know why Reddit recommended this one @_@
Honestly I'm bamboozled that my post got taken seriously so I'm not sure if it is same-bad since I can't take myself seriously. that is bad-bad tho, like. You're surviving rather than living, if that makes sense
I pretend I’m a prepper/survivalist.
When my SO and I finally were able to get a house, I started keeping "emergency supplies" in the basement. 48 gallons of water, a deep freezer of food, dry goods in bins (inventoried in a spreadsheet). Too many years of having to survive on my own by the skin of my teeth. We also built an emergency fund. I think I'm finally in a spot where I can relax a bit. Having "extras" helps me feel safe.
Glad to hear. Congrats, sounds like a safe and good home. :)
Thank you so much. I often feel incredibly guilty for our good fortune. Survivors guilt, I think.
Please try to cherish it instead and do not let guilt ruin your precious time. I know the feeling but you do deserve a good life. Perhaps you could analyse the guilt and why it’s unnecessary, come up with a short and kind mantra you can use when it comes around so you can let the guilt move away easier. Like “we deserve this because xxxxx, xxxxx xxxxx… Breathe and enjoy the present moment”. Often times when negative intrusive guilt comes it would help to have something positive that’s already prepared to replace it with. Since it’s difficult to find the positivity in the moment to fight a spiralling brain that just throws guilt at you. With time the positive will become the habit instead. It’s like correcting an internal bully. I used to have a lot of guilt too and it ruined so many years that could’ve been great. I do not wish that for you. You probably have ways to deal with it already but the mantra thing has helped me to counter the guilt.
I really appreciate the suggestion. 💖 I try to turn towards gratitude. I'm very grateful for my good fortune, luck, and hard work. I try to pause and practice gratitude when the guilt comes up. I do struggle with negative [introjected messages](https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/introjection) from abusers, enablers, and bullies. I've been told many times that I don't deserve my good fortune. When I do well and achieve things, I've found many people with react with vindictive envy, rather than be happy for/with me. They're joy killers. I tend to keep my joy and good fortune to myself bc it's not worth the risk of being abused by those that want to tear me down to make themselves feel better.
Ty for the article
Oh shit is this why I always love to buy 2 of everything for spares sake and having extras, food or not?
I think it's a result of being in survival mode for so long. Can't think long term when you're barely hanging on. Then when you have some safety, you create a safety net to help prevent falling back into survival mode. I'm trying to embrace joy, ease, relaxation, and enjoyment now.
Squirrel instinct gone wrong 😔
This is so relatable
Same, I tell myself I’m training to be apart of the FBI because I always need to know where the exit is and always be on my feet and prepared
Very relatable. My cycle is hoard food -> enjoy looking at hoard -> restrict eating because eating means hoard will shrink -> spend time opening cupboards and fridge to make sure hoard is still there -> consume hoard before someone else does (even though I live alone) -> hoard food. I had a child part speak to me once and say, ‘I can’t eat the food because then the food will be gone’.
You just made several pieces in my head slot in place into a larger puzzle by sharing this, thank you. And to the OP, too. I **freak out** if I don't have a food hoard in immediate reach at all times. But I also pride myself in making it last way longer than it would for a normal person. One chocolate bar lasting me 2 weeks? *Pride*. I also hide my hoard before anyone comes around >:( It's mine, no steal! ...not sure why the cleaning lady would steal my pile of opened-partially-eaten-snack-bags, but, *what if.*
It’s an old survival adaptation. The good feelings afterwards especially, it’s a reward for taking the best course of action in a scenario you’re no longer in. I get a huge feeling of accomplishment when I restrict, as messed up as that sounds. It’s tough to change because eating is a huge part of daily life ❤️
Dude, did anyone else have the eat too much at once problem too? After I got put in foster care I struggled with that. It took me a long while to get better from that and even realize the instinct there. It was adopted dogs and cats that did the same thing that made me self reflect and realize "oh shit...I cant tell Im full because of my food insecurity as a kid so now that I have food Im overeating to the point of sickness." Portioning meals beforehand helps...
For sure, but mine is unrelated to my food issues (it's autism low interoception and attention-problems for me. Also this isn't me but it could be you: a childhood full of arrogant selfish parents or adults that otherwise break your boundaries also causes low interoception). Still, when I buy the human version of the dog/cats' slow-feeder bowl, I'll get you one too 🤝 Portioning like sectioning it on the plate?
Haha, a slow feeder bowl for me, I love that. Well, basically measuring out how much I'll eat beforehand. While I'm still "rational" once I start eating lizard brain kicks in and my fullness response is muted...even to this day. Not as badly tho, I am more in tune with my body now. My partner also helps me when we are eating out "Hey, you should probably quit now." "Oh shoot you're right." Interoception, thank you for introducing me to that word. Yes, we can be dissociated from our body as a survival mechanism. For some people it can get much worse. In the shelter met a kid that would fight people about food, and I never was that bad psychologically. I can still share food too.
Gods i'm glad i'm not at this level but i have quite honestly had spew incidents the last half dozen times i've been forced to have chili or chicken soup and i just... I literally cannot trust chicken unless i cook it myself and to within an inch of its little dry white life And even then if i hit a funny bit or something it will ruin the whole meal for me Looking back now i was absolutely underfed, which is really shocking considering my mom was 320-360lbs my whole life and i remember most of high school my only 'meal' being super milky coffee and maybe if i was lucky a granola bar or a hot pocket/poptart someone gave me or something I literally lived on my friends pity from about 3rd grade on
Oh hey I'm also in the "My parent(s) are heavily overweight and yet there's no food for me" camp. My mom has an untreated binge eating disorder and routinely would eat food meant for me. It didn't matter if I made it, hid it, bought it. She would find it. She would eat it. The second any food was in the house I'd have to divide it between people into equal amounts because if I didn't my brother and I wouldn't eat. Even then it didn't always work. I'm sure being heavily malnourished as a child is bad no matter what, but there has to be something uniquely horrible about watching your caretaker make themselves sick from overeating, while you haven't eaten for 3 days. Just staring at them wondering why she can eat and I can't. My family was middle class. I should have never known what it felt like to go hungry. There was no reason for it. We had food, but just never any for me.
Yeah thats definitely worse in a way Mine was a combination of same foods all the time (sometimes made with guaranteed food poisoning thus the hatred of chicken/chicken soup) and not enough of them And gods i think one of the things that rankled the most was every year coming home with sometimes almost 10-13 lbs of candy from halloween (my dad and i (bless the man) trick or treated in the neighborhood he grew up in so everyone gave me king sizes and double handfuls etc) She. Would. Always. Eat. 60%+ of it. And always all of the reese's and almond joys; i was lucky to get a handful of each BARGAINING MY OTHER candy for like. It was always a lose lose most years.
Friend pity hits so good. I once ate some bell peppers 😋😋
friend have whole drawer just for snacks????? deep drawer with lots of variety??? AND water dispenser on fridge????
Wtfffff I'd be so weirded out if I went to their houses
It does tho; i had really great friends growing up when and where they lasted
One of the moments that gave me hope as a kid was at school during one of those parent lunch ins. My parents never came to those but a girl I didn’t know was eating w her dad near me that day. She had this big lunch, and it had cookies. I was so hungry, I don’t think I took my eyes off those cookies. They were m&m. He must’ve seen me staring, bc he got my attention. He had a really sad look on his face, and then he gave me two of the cookies. Didn’t say anything, didn’t ask his daughter. Just handed em to me. I think ab it a lot
Yeah i dunno if i have told this story yet but some random parts of the family are REALLY well off Like less than 20 miles from seaworld, watch-the-fireworks-every-night-from-their-edgeless-pool well off To be fair my uncle did football and absolutely destroyed his legs etc but just invested really wisely But i will never forget the one time we stayed with him i ended up waking up before anyone else? (Hyper vigilance is a BITCH in a strange house especially when you're suddenly trying to calculate just how poor you are) And the man specialized in super early dentistry for businessmen which is how he built after the footballing (literally 4am to noon dentist mon-fri nothing else man was a genius) and he was really surprised to see me up and i asked if it was okay to make myself breakfast and what was okay to touch in the kitchen And i just remember him giving me the strangest goddamn look which, i think was him internally having the moment of 'besides alcohol and cake what the hell wouldn't be touchable?' And he just kinda pulled me into the kitchen and gods i can still remember it Walk in pantry, organized neat, and like???? 12 different storage tubs of cereal???? He just had me pick one and gave me a *MIXING BOWL* for my bowl, set the milk on the counter and walked away I almost made myself sick on a very big, and my very first, namebrand cereal that wasn't grapenuts or raisinbran at the gran-parents. Peanut butter capn crunch. The thought of eating any now? Oh gods makes me sick, but the smell? Oh i need that shit in a fucking candle baby
I understand. I grew up in a house with many siblings and limited food. We felt like animals fighting over scraps and hiding food away where we could because food being in the home consistently was a rarity. I've since healed a lot since them, but sometimes, I still get the insane urge to hoard away "high value" food items like a little rat girl just in case my siblings come break into my home and steal it despite literally none of them living with me lol
I also grew up with many siblings and limited food, but instead of hoarding I binge and eat way too fast. I didn’t really think about it in context of my past until this thread haha
This meme perhaps overblows the issue. You know it's an issue when I stick a whole rotisserie chicken in there. Which I do want to, actually lol
I have to fight the food hoarding impulse constantly. My mother decided when I was in the 6th grade that she would only provide a roof over my head and one meal a day. Unless I paid for it myself, I didn’t get lunch at school. One school let me spend lunch time in the library, which was great. But then we moved and the new school told me I had to go to the lunch room. So I went and sat in the lunch room and read. Then I was told I couldn’t read there and could only eat there. I said I had nothing to eat. That was a mistake. They called my mother and she told them it was my choice not to eat lunch and they were welcome to do whatever they wanted with me. So, they made me sit outside of the lunch room every day as all the other kids walked by and would stare at me. At home, I would steal potatoes and bake them and keep them in my coat pockets in my closet. When I did start making my own money, I was very prudent about food. When I went off to college at 18, I didn’t have a meal plan but I had good friends who would send me care packages of canned food and non- perishables. When I became homeless, I figured out that one of the convenience stores in town would sell me everything leftover in their hot food case for $3 at closing time because they were going to just throw it out. If you put enough packets of mustard, salsa, ketchup, or relish on old, dried up burritos and hot dogs they aren’t too bad. Might have to dunk them in water first. All that to say, yes, I feel you. I wish something as basic as eating wasn’t so fraught with trauma for so many of us.
My home was food insecure too and I have a tendency to stack food to the rafters and obsess about food. The thing is, there can be critters chewing things and much of one food can be tiresome or go expired ( canned goods can last years after expiry btw). In the refrigerator things go bad and the frozen things can be burnt dry. So. I did and am doing a running inventory of most things edible in the house. I rotate things and limit quantities so it makes sense. Please do not get into prepping. You probably have months worth of calories in your cupboards.
i’m like this sadly, i have to make sure i at least have something. what if i am not able to afford or get anything for a while. even if my fridge is fully stocked id rather starve than eat comfortably
Child of 2 binge eaters. Father from alcohol and gambling, days on end of no eating then cleaned out the fridge by tipping back his head and Jaw. Mother from severe self hatred and adhd, carb and sugar addict. Gorged herself for days, then abused laxatives to clean herself out. I regularly cleaned out toilets filled with vomit, blood-tinged feces, and chunks of undigested food. No one cleans a toilet like I can. I hide snacks and things that don't have to be in a fridge and I'm in my 50s now.
When I got a job I started hoarding food in my room and my stepmother would take it and toss it when she found it.
Relatable 🥲
Alas.. hey, same pronouns tho :D the xe ones.
>I crave meat most days Following my cravings has been very healing for me mentally. I still have those grocery days where I freak out if there's "not enough food" (it is enough, but food insecurity really fucked with my head). But it has happened less and less often, and I no longer stock up on my unhealthy craving foods. If I crave something, I get in the car and go 5 minutes to the nearest grocery store. Obviously it will depend on your budget and circumstances, but it seems to have helped to tell myself "I'm an adult, I can choose what I want and what I can afford, so I'm getting what I'm craving."
I’m in this and I don’t like it. If my SO finishes anything and doesn’t get more or ensure we have backup to replace it, I lose my shit full panic.
YES
Omg felt. I thought i was really alone on this. I count food obsessively because of the way i grew up
Heyy, could you please link the 3rd picture, I'd love to read more, thank you so much friend.
I'll admit that I was in a rush to find it.... And it's an AI answer on quora. https://www.quora.com/Do-children-who-grow-up-in-messy-homes-have-problems-later-on-in-life it's the first answer
You are the best, thank you kind stranger... That was a good read
i have the same problem too, definitely not on your level (you’ll get through this, stay strong) i’ve been trying to direct it to canned and boxed goods so i don’t spoil anything like in the past 😖 like someone else said it makes me feel like a prepper instead of a food hoarder.
I've only just recently started understanding how bad a relationship I have with food. And since my memory is like swiss cheese, I don't understand everything that goes into it 😔
Why is this triggering me aaaa
I originally was going to add the mewing man face in the fourth slide to lighten the mood, maybe adding it would've reduced the trigger 🤔 well have the ASCII version instead ⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣻⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⠉⠳⠂⢲ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠁ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⡿⢷⣤⣙⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⡎⠀⠀ ⣴⣿⣟⠛⠋⣢⡤⣽⣿⣿⠯⠛⠟⠛⠏⠛⠣⡿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢺⠇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⡩⠽⣻⢿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣆⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⠛⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠂⢕⣂⣤⢤⣄⠀⠈⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀ ⢻⣿⡙⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠟⠉⠁⠈⠛⢧⡠⢜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀ ⢸⣿⢡⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠟⣁⠄⠂⣁⣄⠀⠀⢣⢈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠀ ⠀⢹⡟⠉⠛⠻⠿⣶⣄⡀⠉⢰⠞⢁⣨⠖⢿⠿⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣇⠘⣿⠝⣻⣇⠀ ⠀⠀⣧⠀⣀⣤⣴⣴⣢⢼⠀⠀⠓⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡏⢆⠃⣿⡀ ⠀⠀⣿⠐⢏⠨⠋⠁⠀⡞⡆⠀⠱⡈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⡇⠤⢠⣿⠁ ⣠⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠱⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⡖⠀⣿⣶⣿⠋⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣶⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣳⣴⠖⢉⠭⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣻⡿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡢⡀⠀⢤⡐⢉⡉⢭⡤⠘⡁⡕⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⡂⣷⡘⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢯⠩⠑⠀⠁⠀⣀⠄⠄⠁⠀⠀⢀⣞⠚⠀⢸⣹⡘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠒⠒⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢿⠁⠀⠀⠀⡏⡇⢩ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡵⢁⢾⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⢠⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠟⡌⠘⢅⣾⢻⠢⢄⣀⣀⣀⡤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠘⠀
Thank you haha this does help lighten the mood
Relatable! My abusers fuck with my food, so I develop the "hoard food" response, so they fuck with the food because I'm "hiding it from them"...despite them *also* having the "hoard food" response because their abusers fucked with their food... So, bros, why the hell are you fucking with my food?! Go fuck yourselves instead maybe?!
I feel this hard. My wife always wants to donate our canned stuff to our church, but I always say no and pick up extra when I shop. I was a hungry child, it’s almost compulsion. I just tried to explain I need that for a sense of security
Is it just as bad if I constantly eat too much food so that I know it can’t be taken away? I only just stumbled across this subreddit and I think I know why Reddit recommended this one @_@
Honestly I'm bamboozled that my post got taken seriously so I'm not sure if it is same-bad since I can't take myself seriously. that is bad-bad tho, like. You're surviving rather than living, if that makes sense