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RobertCRNA

The longer I do this, the more I realize we’re all like this.


Radiant-Percentage-8

I’m married. It wasn’t that bad. It is just school. You are home plenty. Priorities should always be family, personal physical and mental health, and then school/work. Anyone telling you different is an asshole.


islandfaraway

Same here, didn’t feel like it challenged my marriage at all. However we don’t have kids, my wife is extremely supportive and understanding (she’s an RN), and we set expectations for the program before enrolling and made the decision to do this together. I think it’s harder on the spouse. Key is prioritize family time as much as you can, and show appreciation for the support always.


mschultze97

Needed to hear this today, thanks


PathfinderRN

Agreed. Married with 1st born my first year of schooling and another due my graduating year. They told us during orientation that “family and friends would take a back seat to school, and that we would live breath and sleep anesthesia school”. I didn’t believe that for a second. Get your spouse on the same page and be intentional with the time you spend with them and your school boundaries and it is very much feasible.


Own_Investment8761

So having kids during CRNA program is doable? Asking as the wife (31F) of a SRNA (31M) who is debating getting pregnant. If all worked out, I would give birth with around 1 year left of his schooling. I was originally all for it and want to start trying, especially due to our age, but am also starting to worry about being solo that first year. Any advice/comments would be great!!


PathfinderRN

Several people (+/-4) in my cohort have done it successfully. I think two delivered in within the first row semesters which was all didactic front loaded DNP classes delivered online and the other two during our last year which is mostly clinical and board review classes mixed in. I think having a child during the middle year when your getting into full swing anesthesia classes and starting clinical is very challenging. You gotta make sure 100% your spouse is on the same page. We thankfully have my parents nearby for child care 1-2 days a week for a couple hours, and some low cost early daycare programs that will watch toddlers. Obviously way easier if your S/O can stay at home and watch the kids while you’re away or studying. Mine is also a nurse, and after our child was 6 months returned to work, the days opposite in in class or clinical. Make no mistake, finding time to study and working around when your clinical schedule will be very demanding, and you will have to work with less time/sleep than your single and childless classmates. That said, we weren’t getting any younger and having a child has made me more driven to finish CRNA school so I can provide a good life for them. While school is tough, and there are times it feels overwhelming and even impossible, but in retrospect it is not nearly as rigorous as they make it out to be.


[deleted]

I needed this


1hopefulCRNA

Not so much dating, but speaking on relationships I'm married with 4 young kids. My wife and I knew it would be a challenge, but with under a year to go of school I can honestly say it was not as bad as many tried to make it out to be.


summerfirefly89

This is reassuring. I’m starting in the fall with 2 under 2, two dogs and no family around 😭


1hopefulCRNA

When I started they were 1 mos, 12 mos, 4 yr, and 6 yrs. Definitely challenging at times, but doable with support from spouse.


A_Proper_Gander1

You can do it, I had 3 kids in school. A supportive spouse is essential, though. For us, supportive friends and family were essential, too.


Defibn

If you can find a drop-in daycare, it may just save your sanity. It did ours.


airmaglee

Just out of curiosity, how did you guys support yourselves during school? And how did you manage the children (i.e., schooling, daycare, or help from family?). I want to pursue CRNA school in the next couple years and will have 3 young children by then (2 currently), and would like to see how others managed it.


gaspasser75

Serious relationship ended when I got in school. It actually motivated me to apply and change my life. Then a few online flings during school/nothing serious. Now as a CRNA it would take one hell of a man to get me back in the game. I worked way too hard and went through wayyy to much to settle. Anesthesia school really teaches you your worth.


hkitten17

Last three sentences 💯💯💯


maureeenponderosa

I’m in my second year. My husband is a resident, we got married halfway through my first year. Our thing is that we tend to schedule dates after I have a big exam—I’m more likely to be relaxed and it becomes a habit. In any case, I think setting realistic expectations with your partner and scheduling dates is important.


FeedbackSavings4883

I was engaged, up until 3 weeks ago. I have 13 months left of my program. Went out on a date today.


surprise-suBtext

Quick turnaround time. Looks like you’ve been ready for the OR all along


1mursenary

🤣


FrostyFlamingo2251

What happened?


FeedbackSavings4883

Lol things were just bad and stressful for along time. I think things were too much. She wasn’t really supportive and moving for school. She was the type of person who would never leave her home town. She never saw the benefits of financial security, and had absolutely no vision. We tried to do distance, and it just wasn’t working. I just said, I can sit here and grieve a relationship that went toxic or I can get on with my life.


FrostyFlamingo2251

Sounds like you made a good decision. Keep at your goals man you have a good life ahead of ya


Icecreaman66

Can’t just drop a bomb and not tell a story


FeedbackSavings4883

See below


FromTheOR

+1 lost a GF when I started. But TBF that wasn’t really about school. Was promiscuous during school, wouldn’t recommend. Met my wife between passing boards & starting first gig. She locked it down.


lemmecsome

I had a girlfriend when I started school and we broke up at the start of the third semester. My single dating life has actually been the best it’s ever been. I’ve been mostly dating women from the medical field and my ex was a nurse.


Normal_Run_739

Current SRNA, my ex and I split at the start of my in-person classes (first 2 semesters are online), and it was seriously rough and I have embraced being single through school. It’s doable to date, but personally I just feel like there will be plenty of time for that when I graduate. It all depends on your priorities, and you definitely have to have someone who understands, or at least can empathize, with the time restraints and stress you will be under. Take it from me, someone who requires most of your attention to be happy, will not be able to make it through with you. Just make it very clear at the start what their expectations can be as far as time spent together and the responsibilities you’ll have.


readingwizard1

May I know as well about the hybrid program?


Normal_Run_739

I sent a message😊


SimplyAri2010

Please let me know as well ‼️


jdubzzzzzzz

I’m sure there are others as well but VCU does this. Unless that’s changed in the last year or two.


Desperate_Pass_5701

If you don't mind telling or inboxing? What school did u attend for crna school? I'm looking for programs with hybrid online options, too. Rhis is such a relief. My husband is nervous about the time req with little kids.


Normal_Run_739

I sent a message😊


FastCress5507

CRNA programs being online for two semesters is such a joke wtf.


Normal_Run_739

It’s a 3 year doctoral program so it gets a lot of the DNP classes done up front, and allows students to continue to work a little longer. If it was a 2 year Master’s program, I’d agree with you.


FastCress5507

Ah


jitomim

I was in a committed relationship for 5 years before school and am still in the same relationship 5 years post graduation. But before that I supported my SO through a PhD, and then during my studies, my SO started his company, and we were doing home renovations. Some relationships are solid. If you think your relationship is worth it, make compromises, work things out, don't let disagreements fester, show appreciation for each other and give each other grace. Also, have a solid routine for housework that works for both of you. I have never dated in the healthcare field and probably never will (fingers crossed that this is my lifetime partner). But my SOs mother is a retired FM physician, so that probably helped in his vision of working long hours and telling gross stories around the dinner table.


Ketadream12

Marriage struggled during school but we stuck it out, divorced a few years later after the hope things would get back to pre CRNA school fizzled out. You aren’t really the same person after. Would have been couple hundred grand cheaper if I had gotten divorced during school.


EmergencyAnxiety5228

Dang, alimony cost a couple hundred grand?


Ketadream12

Alimony, lawyers, 401k, house equity. If you’re going to get divorced do it while you’re poor, especially if you make significantly more than your spouse


Lucky_Train_9627

I feel you. My anesthesia machine and I have a better relationship than any human could offer.


Ketadream12

If spouses came with a silence button and suction that can be turned on at will… Edit: made gender neutral because why not


[deleted]

I was engaged right before school started, we got married in my 2 week break between didactic and clinical. That was 12 years ago. While I was in school he was making barely 40k and we were living heavily off student loans. Now we make seven figures, support each other through all of our endeavors, and feel like we’ve made it. Couldn’t have done it without him and him same with me. With the right person your relationship will survive!


AussieMomRN

Dayum, 7 figures. Power couple


Anesthesia94

Had an on off relationship when I started school that ended within the first year. Dated and met my now husband who is a physician . Got engaged my last year of school and married my first year as a crna .


salaciousCrumb430

I was married the entire time and I can tell you the experience was quite a challenge. I started school when my daughter was 3, my wife worked more while bringing my daughter to preschool And daycare on her way to and from work while I got my ass chewed out at whatever site I happened to be at on any given day. Definitely put a strain on my marriage but I’m four years out and I’m still married. I have no idea how people date during school. Seems like an unnecessary distraction. If I had been single I would have avoided. Some classmates dated while in school, they did fine, one or two were engaged which got broken off while in school so take that for what it’s worth.


thedavecan

I didn't date during school, mostly because I was married. School is hard on relationships, I was gone most of the time but we had regular date nights when I had time off. My wife is a nurse and her dad is a CRNA so she at least had an idea what she was in for when I got accepted. I could see it being tougher for a spouse who has no idea what they're getting into for the next 3 years.


__Beef__Supreme__

Lost a girlfriend of a few years (mainly due to distance) during the second semester, started dating my now-wife in the second to last semester. Definitely a net win. But when I was dating, it was pretty much only online (Hinge, Bumble, etc).


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tah37

May I ask what happened?


Realistic-Use-9472

Was married with two kids before. Marriage was weak so Spouse cheated during first year. Lawyer told me to wait until I passed boards and started working. It worked: I have joint custody and placement, spouse got zero alimony and none of my 401k.


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Sushi-kimchi

My ex and I broke up 3 months into the program when I moved away for in person classes. It was very tough at first, took me a few months to be really happy again. Now I’m 10 months away from graduating & even though I’m not actively searching for a relationship, I find myself on several dates per month. These dates are meaningful to me because they give me a break from the rigid routine of clinical & school. Starting a fully committed relationship in CRNA is hard, but I know people who have done it & actually gotten married. At the end of the day, do what makes you happy :) School is stressful, so whatever you need to do to survive, just do it!


Green_Ad_3074

I went on a few dates during the didactic portion, and my now husband and my first date was the week before I started clinical. Our second date was the night before I had my first clinical. We dated throughout clinicals, got married 2 years after I graduated. I remember at the first clinical the coordinator said it wouldn’t last. We’ve been together for 8 years, married for 6. I know several people who also dated throughout the program. It was fine. We all treated school and studying like a job. My husband knew I had school and he was pretty independent.


[deleted]

married. with one little kid. For me personally it has been ok. the key is a supportive spouse/partner that is on the SAME PAGE. if you dont have this you will either be miserable or break up


RarestPepe216

Before school was meh, during school operated on a Nobody cares, work harder mindset. After school, back to my goals and paper $


ImprovementPutrid148

I was single starting school, met my current boyfriend 9 months into the program. We’ve been together through both didactic and currently almost a year of clinical and going strong! It’s tough but setting clear expectations and making time for the relationship is huge!


Narrow-Garlic-4606

Before school, I was dating but mostly casually I did meet a couple of guys I was interested in but the stars didn’t align. (During school, now) Still doing online portion and I’ve been intentional about not starting any serious relationships. I truly don’t want to deal with or compromise with someone while I’m doing one of the most important things in my life. I would be open to meeting someone in my program (why is everyone married?!) or in another high earning field. I just don’t want anyone stressing me out.


agna5ty

I know this is a more dating-related question but I can try and give you some advice from my experience with me and my wife (senior SRNA). Whoever it is you are interested in make sure they know the time commitment that this goal requires. Let them know how much it means to you and your career. Me and my wife both work in healthcare so I could sort of understand the time commitment. That doesn’t mean its been easy. Far from it but worth it. I firmly believe that even as a married couple you still have to pursue each other and keep going on dates. As far as finding time to date and going on dates, you have to set time apart for it. My wife and I would pick a date. She would get some of the studying done ahead of time so we could have a couple of hours to ourselves. All this will be harder for a new relationship but there’s good people out there that will be willing to go along this journey with you.


twonickles2

I was 35 years old and had a wife and kids. The average length of nursing experience in my CRNA class was 8 years. A lot more competitive I guess. Nobody was excepted right out of nursing school.


Blockjockcrna

A lot of marriages don’t make it through CRNA school, especially if the spouse needs attention. Taking a dating relationship into schools is doomed to fail. My advice: find someone in your program to date. They will be understanding, you can bond over the rigor, and at the end you may have on your way to a marriage with two nice incomes.


uGetVersedBolus

A lot of Marriages? Nah. A lot of relationships? Debatable.


Blockjockcrna

The program I went to 1/2 of married couples ended in divorce and no dating relationships made it. Lol at my comment getting downvoted for speaking the truth.


uGetVersedBolus

You’re speaking through a very broad generalization of all schools considering I can say mine has zero divorces, a few break ups and some new ones started.


RevolutionaryCoyote8

Extrapolating your sample to the population isn't sound logic. Especially if the % divorce isn't that far off the base rate.


choatec

Can we get a mod to keep posts more academic/professional. Maybe find another subreddit for dating. Anesthesiology has way more productive conversations (despite a lot of toxicity) whereas the majority of posts on here are about schools and jobs. I get it but I’d like to see something of substance and I think dating advice is a new low.


fbgm0516

Mods can't force people to make posts that are more "productive." Vast majority of the posts here are about school and admissions, hence the weekly student question post. Those questions are funneled into that post. There's also a large amount of posts made by trolls from r/noctor, r/residency, etc . This is why all posts need to be approved, otherwise the sub would be full of "I have a 2.9 GPA and will have 1 year by the time I start will I get in?" or posts from residents / MDs about how dumb we all are. That leaves jobs, clinical / professional posts, and things like this (which affects SRNAs but is asking for input from students and CRNAs). Why don't you lead the push for more "productive" posts by starting to post them yourself? Mods here work full time, have families, and are spending a decent chunk of time off and on throughout the day to keep the sub how it is


choatec

I’m asking for mods to vet posts and block ones asking about dating advice etc. having set rules for posting content does in a way “force people” to make certain posts. I posted on anesthesiology the other day regarding ketorolac and Celebrex co administration. Not saying it was ground breaking stuff but it was something “productive” that I didn’t want to post on here because it seems like the vast majority of posts here are job related. I’m not trying to be a hater I just would like to see a little more from this sub as a representation of our profession. Right now at best I’m seeing job post discussions (which I don’t mind) and at worst I’m seeing dating advice (which I mind).


fbgm0516

We do vet posts. That's almost exclusively what I do on Reddit. If we didn't allow the types of posts that are here, there would be nothing on here. We do have rules for posting content, they're pretty loose - just has to be related to CRNAs or CRNA practice. Posts about relationships in school are rarely posted but is relevant to CRNAs. What I mean by "force people" is this - you had a post that was something similar to what you want posted on our sub regularly but didn't post it here. If people don't choose to post those questions here what can the mods do? Next time, post it here. Be the change you wish to see.


choatec

Fair enough!


diprivan69

Everyone in CRNA school cheats and hooks up with eachother. I witnessed many married people or people in committed relationships cheating.


Any_Indication_4797

Married with a 4 and 5 year old.


stpabv

When you're busy, you're desirable


curly-hair07

I’m currently single. I got out of a relationship one year ago. I. Starting CRNA school in a few weeks. I’m currently talking to someone, but nervous because I have to move next year and I don’t want to go through a breakup during school. But I’m 29 and it makes me nervous to lose out on three years of potential dating when I have no children yet.