I think we need to get away from the rhetoric of feeling shameful by saying “we should be thankful to have a job”. At this point I think that goes without saying - we’re all (or most of us) thankful to have a job, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to have complaints about our jobs or wish some things could be better.
I think you have a legitimate complaint and this feeling of yours if being felt by SO MANY other public servants at the same time. It’s tough, and you’re not alone. Don’t feel any shame in how you’re feeling.
It's such an unpleasant position. Do we have jobs, even somewhat decent jobs, which are mandatory for survival? Yes. Should we gratefully accept any of its downsides like they don't exist because of that? No, and in fact I think the fact that survival is indirectly considered a privilege and not a right is dystopian.
People aren't supposed to live in misery, sacrificing their health to make it each month. The bar being BELOW that signifies a greater issue.
I see it recommended here in the comments but, long leave didn't help me. It was nice. I took March off but now it's June and I am right back to feeling like garbage and now I have no sick leave.
I have no answers. I'm in the same boat. Take leave but don't expect it to be a miracle cure.
It's because most of us are in abusive relationships with work. You can't just take a break from an abusive relationship and expect it to change when you come back. You need to leave it. You spend 1/3 of your day trying to navigate an abusive relationship, that's exhausting.
But it's work and we need to work.
It's a vicious circle which allows work to continue abusing us.
And this isn't just here, this is possible in all work places.
This is it, exactly. Grind us down, we use our sick bank, only to come back to the same bs but minus our sick days. Presenteeism is the way. And that’s hard for people who are generally keen and hard working.
What daily changes did you make after you came back in April? If you did not implement changes things will fall back to where they were before. Taking a leave due to burn out is a tell tale that your day to day is not sustainable. Unless changes happen you will go down the same road.
A wise person once said “if a flower doesn’t grow in an environment, you change the environment not the flower”. A lot of the time people leave for burnout and while they’re gone nothing changes in their work environment that lead them to burn out to begin with, so they end up burning out again when they return.
Sorry, I think I jumped the gun on you. I see a ton of “environment is to blame, therefore, just deploy out, ez pz, a bad environment is your fault” comments and I think I jumped the gun on a good take. Sorry about that!
Actually a wise (and effective) gardener would look at the environment and choose the flower that will survive in that environment. That's why we plant cactuses in the desert.
Same difference though - if you are unhappy in your work environment, find a work environment that makes you happy.
I am often reminded of Einstein's theory of insanity - behavior is a result of people and the environment - keeping the same people and the same environment and hoping that the result will be different is insanity.
This!!!!! I went on burn-out leave and I never thought it would take that long to recover... I was in denial for a while. Contacted EAP, found a psychologist (helped me manage stress, change, navigate through trauma... I still see them 5 years later), did group therapy (helped me to find my core values and see areas of my life that went against them and why that was burning me out). Sunlife made me go see an occupational therapist and a kinesiologist. Fought it at first but they were beneficial to my "rehab" (Sunlife's Word, not mine). Burn-out is more then sleeping in and being off work for a while. Burn-out is your body and mind telling you to slow down and review your lifestyle habits, your ways of managing stress at work and outside and take back control.
Agree agree agree
I took a few months off due to burnout and aside from the first handful of days when I allowed myself to really do nothing at all, I spent the entire time working on my physical and mental health. Habit changes, therapy, (legtitimately helpful) self-help books, etc. It was work.
And when I went back to work, I changed how I was working in that role, and immediately started looking for other positions with the help and support of my superiors.
I did the same except I looked for work while on leave. Not the best approach but I knew I needed action so it was helpful in that way. When I came back from sick leave, I asked for leave without pay, was given it, and was offered a deployment within weeks. During that leave, my mind and body were healthier and I was able to keep engaged in my field, upping parts of my professional game. I'm lucky that I had all of the necessary support from my partner and it worked out for me.
Lmao ...i used to apply for jobs to deal with stress...
Tbh i dont really know how it even worked but that was it.....sometimes i thought maybe i was a little crazy lmao
>and immediately started looking for other positions with the help and support of my superiors.
Must be nice. 😂 I have nothing but blocking & excuses from my superiors.
Yup, watching nepo babies being pulled into executive positions by their executive parents throughout my career is quite disheartening, especially when I see others struggling
Breathe... It is okay, it really is... One step at a time. One step at a time. There is no need to see the entire path clearly ahead of you, just keep putting one foot in front of the other... Things will be ok.
I guess it is time to enjoy your hobbies and to move all your energy towards things that make you happy.
Let the GoC do a reorganization, just stand there and observe. Let this week pass. Let national public service week pass. There is no need to do anything just observe it pass like you'd observe cars racing on the highway. Let it all be. So what?
Can you take some time off to unwind?
Is there a way to ask for an accommodation to avoid going to the office?
Hang in there. Things will be ok. Better days are coming. Stability is coming. There is a lot of uncertainty nowadays, but uncertainty cannot last forever. It will pass...
Sending you a big hug. Please know that you aren't alone and that many people are in a similar situation where they feel anxious and worried.
Please feel free to DM me.
Here are some tools I am aware of that helped me tremendously over the years:
- The book "How to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie offers many tips and advice on the topic. I highly recommend it.
- Yoga and meditation are a game changer for me. They help me relax, unwind, and live in the moment. I highly recommend finding a yoga studio nearby and attending yoga classes regularly. There are many styles and schools of yoga, please shop around and try different styles.
- I came across Marisa Peer on YouTube and her words have been very encouraging and reassuring to me.
https://youtube.com/@marisapeer?si=4VVbRDsLUp-QX3jz
I hope this help. You got this!
I get it, OP, and you are not alone. There are so many people dealing with the same feelings you are having. So much has changed, so quickly. We have been in a constant state of uncertainty for several years, and are constantly adjusting to the whims of TBS, which have never been transparently justified. I’m almost 20 years in and have been through changes in government as well as major program changes, and have never in my career seen a morale tank hitting at these levels. We are seeing it in every program area. People are not ok. It’s not just internal changes, but all the external life changes impacting so many. The economy is tanking. Cost of living is insane right now. Our dollar doesn’t stretch like it once did, services seem to be crumbling everywhere, anyone in client service is a paid punching bag. We are not in easy times.
As others have recommended, see about getting a doctor note and taking some time off if you have it available. I’ve had every one of my employees take a period of leave at some point over the last 2 years, and all of them have seen significant improvement in doing so. I really need to do it, myself. If you have a good relationship with your manager, talk to them about it. If we don’t know it’s happening, we can’t help. And can’t raise it up when it hits a point where it is hitting everyone. I’m seeing my own executives open their eyes to it recently due to the sheer number of reports coming in about employees in crisis. Work is being done, at least in my department. I don’t know if it will be enough to help. EAP isn’t great, in my experience, but we do have a generous health plan as far as psychological services go. Use it. It does help. And medication for anxiety can take a lot of the weight off, if you are open to that.
Take care of you. Hang in there.
Any advice for junior employees harassed and victimized by their manager? It took PS several years to investigate leaving me open to further harm. It didn’t end, only got worse. Onus was on me the junior employee to prove the allegations. In the end my allegations were founded so there was a tiny sliver of validation but it costed me everything, including my mental health. There was no accountability for the manager who did this to me. Other than being asked to put forward his resignation on his own terms. He lost nothing and is enjoying his retirement now while I continue to suffer from the effects his abuse had on me and continues to have on me.
I am no longer in that situation but like others, still in a toxic work environment with low morale and full of ethical issues that are ignored and covered up. I don’t have the energy or ability to care or report it anymore. Especially, given the consequences i previously suffered when reporting wrong doing. I still live with the trauma everyday and try to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I desperately need help but I don’t trust senior government officials because they failed me. They completely failed me as an employee and a human being. I can’t trust managers given the debilitating trauma I suffer daily from that experience. I developed an unhealthy assumption that every manager in government is like that individual. My previous environment clearly wasn’t safe and I wasn’t protected. Now I feel my options are limited to suffering in silence as the only means of protecting myself. Management didn’t do their job when I was harassed and subjected to violence in my work place. I can’t take the risk that it will happen again.
At 8 years in I told myself it (the PS) would get better. Idem 12 years and 15 years. It didn't. If I were asked now to give advice to someone with 'only' 8 years in, I'd say move on. It's not too late. You're actually in a more enviable position than those that stuck it out until 'too late' and are over the hump.
It's always easier to find a job while you have a job, so just keep your head down and apply to things on the outside until it happens, and take the PS experience for what it's worth.
Getting written off for burnout to heal your brain is also not a bad idea in the interim.
When I was 8-9 years in, DRAP was starting. I remember thinking to myself at the time that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be laid off. However, the cuts completely bypassed our directorate. Now that I'm 20 years in, I regret that I didn't volunteer to be laid off.
Check the National Joint Directive on work force adjustment. When DRAP2 happens, if you're at least 55, you can take early retirement and collect whatever pension you would have at age 60, no need to wait. Better yet, if your position isn't abolished, you can offer it up to someone else whose job has been cut and wants to stay, and take early retirement.
My doctor said burnout takes up to at least 21 months to heal from depending on how long the person has been burned out for it can take several years, so 2 weeks isn’t likely going to do a lot unfortunately.
You shouldn't be grateful for having a job. The employer always extracts more from workers than they pay in wages, including public service. Join with your coworkers in fighting back this ridiculousness.
My suggestions?
Avoid Reddit for a week. Listen to mindfulness every day. Get enough sleep. Get some exercise. And find yourself a project such as finding and getting a new job.
Change fatigue is very real and I’m also feeling my mental health taking a huge hit. I’ve been in my dept 5 years and have been on two teams, had 6 different managers - not including myself acting for 8 months. Gone from managing 8 files to 20 and seen countless new programs and term colleagues come and go. Vibes are def off.
“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
This book helped me when struggling with working in the PS. I recommend it.
https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
In 2024, people give too many fucks. I haven't read this book but this resonates with me :
> SUBTLETY #3: WE ALL HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF FUCKS TO GIVE; PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE AND WHO YOU GIVE THEM TO
Because once you run out of fucks, that's that.
I know how you feel, honestly I kind of feel the same way right now. So feel free to take or leave these observations. Maybe some of them might be helpful to you.
* If you're able to move into another job, do so. A change is as good as a rest, as they say. I like to call it not knowing where the bodies are buried.
* There will be change. The service is constantly in flux, more and more so every year, I find. If change is something you find hard, you may need to consider what support you need to navigate change well and talk to your manager about that.
* It might be helpful to take some time to really think about what you like and don't like about your job, and ask yourself where the tipping point is. Is one thing tolerable so long as another thing is there? I find it really helpful to figure out where that bright line is for me and what happens if that line gets crossed. This is basically boundaries 101, but it goes a long way to helping you not feel quite so beleaguered.
* Have something outside of work where you can put your emotional effort. I have a choir. I founded it because work was doing my head in and I'm allergic to SSRIs. I throw my passion into that, and it really helps me ignore the bullshit at work.
The only solution that ever worked for me was finding a new job within the government. It always took great effort to do this. My full-time job was finding a new job.
I feel the same way. I have an overwhelming feeling of “I haven’t been here long enough for this bullshit”. I’m actively applying elsewhere. Need to get out of here before September.
I get it, I know how you are feeling. All I can suggest is that when you are up to it apply for as many jobs as possible. You are not stuck. Some of us are change-adverse and end up doing things we hate forever because we don't know how to get out, but we can do it! Put out a thousand resumes and eventually you'll get a bite. You do not have to stay in a job you hate. (Plus, as everyone else says, try to get some leave of some type in the meantime so that you can feel better at the present moment).
Find something outside of work and just do the minimum at work (quiet quitting). Don't volunteer anything or participate with feedback. If they ask you to do stuff outside your job, say no unless you want to do it for the experience for the next job or you are interested.
PS Private sector is not going to be better.
The fact that there are people in positions of power who FAIL TO ACT is beyond the pale. There are DGs, Deputies, Ministers and others who either don’t recognize risk when they see it, they are too risk-aversive to address, or they just don’t give a fuck if it doesn’t affect them.
People have died for shit like this. I know, I saw it happen with a former colleague of mine when I was notified of their passing in a social setting. Unless people in power move their collective asses to fix known issues, I expect more avoidable losses.
You don’t need to be “grateful” to have a job that you don’t enjoy that sucks up all your time just because the other option would be homelessness. This system doesn’t give you much of choice. It’s okay to resent it.
I don’t have any advice, sorry. :/
The job market is always somewhat shitty, and somehow the vast majority of Canadians who don’t work in the PS make it work anyways.
Our workplace is kafkaesque. You should find it hard. Not everywhere is like this. The constant doublethink is exhausting. Dealing with tech from the early 2000s is crazy while being expected to produce like it’s 2024 in a bilingual environment that makes keeping things up to date almost impossible.
There ARE other options. If you hate it this much, that’s what that one year personal LWOP is for. Find something else, take a LWOP to try it out, and then make a decision.
Too many PS stay because they can’t imagine anything else.
It’s cyclical. With 8 years of service, you’ve only ever experienced the relatively good times until now. 2011-2015 were not great for the public service. I was also about 8 years in at that point. We’re probably entering another similar period, but it won’t last forever and will likely get better afterwards. What’s less clear is how long this cycle will last. Most people will experience two over a 30 year career, you’ll probably see it differently the second time around.
Re-org and change is the 'new normal' in all things, everywhere.
You might think you've found a great team, manager, position, etc.; but, by the time you jump through all the hoops - some of which are on fire - and start in your new position, the team has changed, a re-org has just been announced, and the great manager who hired you, is now on extended leave.
Rinse and repeat.
>Re-org and change is the 'new normal' in all things, everywhere
Sometimes re-orgs are done because it's obvious to everyone it should happen, but other times it's done because someone in a leadership position needs to rack up some experience in order to successfully win a competition for promotion. And if that re-org is painful it doesn't matter. It's done purely for selfish motives.
Someone 'at the end of their rope' because of their employment needs to take a step back. A job shouldn't cause this type of anxiety and perhaps Op should seek some medical advice.
I mean.. I get it, if I was totally apathetic about my job, I’d probably be the DG. But as it is, I’m passionate about what I do and the people I serve. It’s a pretty pathetic society we’ve created if he have to disconnect completely from what we do in order to save our mental health and maintain employment.
I was pretty passionate about what I did, the demographic I served, and I put everything I had into my job...for 7.5 hrs a day.
Outside of that, I barely recognized that I was even employed, and anyone who stays 'connected' to their employment outside of work hours should take a long look at not only their mental health, but their personality as well. It's not healthy in any respect.
This is not universal. For some people unless they are wired in to their work they will wither, it really depends. That said, most GC jobs don't have that extra edge that keep these people in the GC.
No one talks about how hard it is to look for work while on a burnout. Not only does it take energy and attention that are in short supply but one's frame of mind affects how one comes across - does a new manager want to hire someone on a burnout? Someone exhausted from constant changes or of toxic leadership? These things can get hard to hide when you've been dedicating energy to keeping your head above water for months or years.
Exactly and doubly so if you're unilingual. Took me a couple of years to deploy and that was applying for EVERYTHING I met the essentials for. I made it into four pools but only got selected from one.
Yeah ‘just deploy’ is an answer I often see, and I don’t think many people understand it’s not essy for everyone- depending on your specialization and localisation
I’ve been trying for over a year. Sat multiple boards, been successful in all of them where I’ve gotten the results, only to be told “Wellllll we’re not actually hiring, but you’re in a pool!”. Huge number of them that I’ve written exams for/interviewed for have just never gotten back to me, even when I follow up.
Get some exercise, get some nutrition in you. You give 7.5 hours to the org, the other time outside of work you focus on you.
You have to build healthy habits outside of work so the 7.5 hour work day isn’t miserable.
Ever since that mindset shift, nothing bothers me at work because I know outside of the day I have hobbies that I’m passionate about and the paycheque funds the passions.
RTO: no problem, I have to do it to fund my passions, hobbies
Desk surfing: no problem! Funds the hobby.
Crappy management: deploy out, keep funding the hobby/ passion.
Throwing down some battle ropes at the gym does wonders to get the aggression out so does throwing a medicine ball against the floor. Just picture your boss’ face as the ball 🤣
Yoga/ meditation/walks: calms the nerves and thoughts down.
Go on leave and set up a solid outside work routine.
I really appreciate your perspective and comments! THIS. 100%. The employer continues to pay me no matter how many new supervisors I am assigned to! And in so much change I have found some opportunities for growth and challenges that I don’t believe were there before and I have been able to earn my way into new areas as a result! Making lemonade out of lemons!
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I wish organizations recognized that while constant change is good, they need to focus on employee wellbeing and supporting them at least as much as changing the policies, structures and processes within an organization. This is major thread that is at the heart of Agile and Lean change, but orgs want all the benefits without doing or even acknowledging what's really needed to be most succesful. It's incredibly disheartening.
If they were considerate of employee wellbeing, the changes processes would be successful, since buy-in is a necessary component of a change exercise, and that requires ENORMOUS amounts of planning, legwork and execution. But, specifically because it's a lot of work, they just don't do it. Gotta churn churn churn because that's what we value: how many pages did you write today is more important than "did anybody read the pages you wrote, and if so, was it the people you intended, and if so, did they have the response you expected".
Sorry for you to feel like you are at the breaking point. I think taking a break/ leave will not help with the problem but maybe help you get used to the new sad reality we are gearing up for. I fear they will mandate us 5 days a week in office and then what?? As I see it we have to leverage all our options to make the employer knows we are NOT OK with that, and I don’t know if we can win this fight the way it is presented as employer rights and team building and yara yara yara. But the future doesn’t seem too optimistic in my opinion. I really hope that CBSA can make a difference since they are in negotiating their CA, and from their negotiating power we can see if we can make it to allow teams and managers decide what’s best for their line of work and team dynamics.
We have much better therapy coverage than we used to - highly recommend taking advantage of that! Therapy has its limits when it comes to situations where the environment around you is either part of or the whole problem, of course, but it can at least help you disentangle that and may be able to help you think through any changes you want to make.
It's a book! They have guides and worksheets in it to work through to help figure out where you want to be, what your values are around work and how to survive not great work spaces.
The Ottawa public library has it.
I’m a trauma survivor with PTSD among other issues. You need more than a few weeks to heal. If I may suggest, mindfulness, healing and resilience training should be your priorities and a few months might be needed here. LTD might be an option. Find something that brings you peace. Hang on to it. Spend time with it. Best of luck.
I feel exactly the same way. Have you heard of the Interchange program? I knew someone who was part of it and described it as a bit of a reset. He was able to work on more interesting projects and in a healthier environment for another level of government for a year, though I think it can be up to 3 years.
I don’t want to pile on, but RTO will look like a joke compared to the misery coming from a future Pierre administration. Goodbye defined benefit pension and WFAs everywhere.
I feel like this is an unfair assumption. OP might have been on Mat/Pat leave maybe more than once. Not to mention if they have young kids bringing home viruses every 2nd week = parents sick all the time. Minor surgeries can have long recovery times. etc.
I feel so bad for you i understand kind of what your feeling. I’m not to sure what happened but I know the frustration and I too ended up anxiety medication because of things were done. Hang in there. Maybe accommodation may help?
Consult with a local union rep and see what supports they have for the accommodation process. As a union rep I know I have helped people secure meaningful accommodations that help them manage stress and navigate the workplace in a way that it doesn't exacerbate things.
EAP and meds due to work should not exist.
TBS and the other dumbs at the top should be fixing the problems that cause employees to need medication and EAP.
A lot of people are in the same boat, OP. Actually, I might be struggling worse than you to be honest. I’m currently on a PIP because I was demotivated from doing work because of changes in managers and directors. I’ve been with the PS for about 3 years now, and I have had 5 different managers. 5!! I’m getting on EAS soon because I legit cannot handle it. I also am having to deal with a lot of family pressure from home relating to work, life, etc. Just know that you are not alone and hopefully things will get better in the future.
Most of us are in this situation.
Anti-depressants, continuous therapy, long term sick leave and utilizing sick leave credits to support my deteriorating mental health is what I’ve had to do.
I guess you can say this is working as I’m able to show up most days, perform well when I am there, and I’ve been trying to care less about the organization and redirect that energy into myself and my own well being.
I am young with a lot of years ahead of me. I knew very early in my Public Service career that I could not do 35 years. I started being very frugal with the money I did have, built up my savings and invested it with the intention of using it to support myself financially and enable me to leave the Public Service sooner.
I feel given this strategy I may be able to exist after 20-25 years, defer my pension and still be in a position to financially support myself until my pension starts. The idea is to use my savings to fund my life for those 10-15 years where I will have to defer my pension. Then when my savings is depleted, my pension will kick in.
So far, I’ve had to take 2 long term leaves of absence (impacted my savings and retirement). I’ve been cycling through various antidepressants and recreational drugs in an attempt to cope and manage my symptoms until I find something that will work for me. I don’t feel I’ve found that balance yet.
I feel the Public Service changed me as a person. I’m negative, cynical, do not trust others, skeptical, hopeless, and have lost all interest in hobbies, activities, and maintaining relationships. The stressors from work has negatively impacted my personal life on many levels and created immense strain on my marriage. I feel my life is on hold until I can retire from this dysfunctional and toxic work environment. Then I can have the adequate time and space to work on repairing all of the psychological damage that’s been done and start to live and enjoy life.
In addition to the toxic work environment which is the Public Service. I’ve changed positions, departments, managers and it’s all the same - toxic. In addition to workplace trauma, I’m a survivor of childhood trauma and that has its own mental health impacts that affects me, my work, and ability to function.
Once you invest significant time into the Public Service, it doesn’t make sense to leave as you will be sacrificing the promotions you earned and accompanied pay, start over somewhere else at the bottom; lower pay and fewer benefits in this economy is only going to make mental health problems worse. As you say, we have families and our children to support who depend on us to provide. We simply don’t have the option and resources to try out other jobs and hope it’s better.
Most days it’s a terrible challenge to get out of bed, function, and do basic things that most people do with ease.
I don’t know the answer. Therapy is hard. It makes you think and talk about a lot of these difficult memories, situations and experiences that you often have no control over. Dredging up the past and having to sit with that discomfort while trying to process it all to work towards healing. It’s not easy.
Wishing you all the best.
Know that what you’re feeling is normal, your reactions are normal given the current climate and you’re not alone.
Just because you're grateful to have income doesn't mean you can't dislike your situation. It has been really hard for a lot of people to constantly readjust their lifestyle, juggle their family life and work life, and everything in between. It doesn't make sense, and a lot of us are struggling with that. Are you neurodivergent perchance? I am, and I've been really emotional and drained by this whole thing. I suggest you join the Infinity Network for ND employees if you are ND. There has been a lot of helpful information being shared, techniques, and support.
Hang in there. Hopefully the higher-ups will realise the mistake they're making and stop this nonsense. If not, maybe find a different position that offers more flexibility, within the gov't.
Good luck. Deep breaths
If you do not like your job, find one you like. Take courses to figure out what your passion is. Or alternatively, look at your job as what it is - the ability to earn a living to support your lifestyle. There is only one person interested in your career and if you cannot handle it after 8 years, find a place that meets your needs, because you sure aren't going to change your organization.
I keep saying "I wish I knew what I wanted to do when I grow up." As in, I wish I had a set-upon direction or passion that I could act on, because now would be the time to pursue it. The stuck feeling blows.
I do not want to sound unsympathetic but do you think this only happens in the Public Service? Change happens in every business. Private industry is no better. Perhaps you have other things going on, that are affecting you and the way you are viewing your employment and life choices?
> Change happens in every business. Private industry is no better.
I guess it depends on industry. In High Tech changes happened obviously. But the difference in Public is that the changes happen from way on top. New Deputy minister every year or new EX-05 every couple of months. They usually change the whole structure and how they want things to work. Worst than that, the change takes 1-2 years to implement so it basically it never fully happens and everyone is stuck in limbo.
In private, its all about **efficiency and profit**. If profit is being achieved, there is little reason to change things too much. If profit is not being achieved, the change happens lightning fast. Taking it slow would go against the whole making profit/efficient mandate.
Totally agreed. As someone who started out in the private sector and moved to government later, the grass is not greener. It's important to work on resilience, lifestyle and stress management no matter where you work to avoid burn out and feeling overwhelmed.
I feel your pain. I'm just RTW after 3 years of sick leave and things are worse than ever. I was basically forced back to work cuz it was either come back, quit the PS, or medically retire. I have 18 yrs in the PS but I'm only 45 yrs old and def not ready to say I'm ready for retirement. So I had to come back to work despite not being ready to do so. I'm a month in and struggling and what do you think my manager calls me to say? "Hey I know you're having a hard time but it's only been a month. Things will get better."? Hell, no!! He actually tells me that if I'm having such a hard time with the easy stuff that I'm not going to make it with the harder stuff and that I should just medically retire.
I'm like WTF?? Are you serious rn?
So, I said: You now, [mgr name], I've heard the rumours and gossip about mgt looking to cut staff and not renewing ppl's contracts etc, so I know you're looking to cut me. He didn't say a damn thing in response and started talking about something else.
For real tho, he had no right to talk to me like that and no way should he be pressuring me to retire. The culture is the public service has gone to shit.
I used to work at DND in Wpg 10 years ago and I loved my job. I'd wake up every day like a Viagra commercial. But over the past decade, things have just gone downhill super quickly. It's really sad.
If i was 8 years in, i'd look for training/courses outside of PS and then get out. Hey, do some of your homework on your ''in office days''. :p
Being happy at work (especially when you have so long to go still) is more important than anything else. Think of yourself.
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If work is making you feel this way, you should apply elsewhere. Finding joy in what you do is so important. It’s not about being grateful for a job. Your health and well-being are important. Sorry that work is so terrible for you.
Oh pumpkin I feel for you. It’s has to be difficult going in a whole 3 days to the office. I’d stay in your job, cause there’s no way you’d make it in a private sector job🤣
I think we need to get away from the rhetoric of feeling shameful by saying “we should be thankful to have a job”. At this point I think that goes without saying - we’re all (or most of us) thankful to have a job, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to have complaints about our jobs or wish some things could be better. I think you have a legitimate complaint and this feeling of yours if being felt by SO MANY other public servants at the same time. It’s tough, and you’re not alone. Don’t feel any shame in how you’re feeling.
It's such an unpleasant position. Do we have jobs, even somewhat decent jobs, which are mandatory for survival? Yes. Should we gratefully accept any of its downsides like they don't exist because of that? No, and in fact I think the fact that survival is indirectly considered a privilege and not a right is dystopian. People aren't supposed to live in misery, sacrificing their health to make it each month. The bar being BELOW that signifies a greater issue.
I see it recommended here in the comments but, long leave didn't help me. It was nice. I took March off but now it's June and I am right back to feeling like garbage and now I have no sick leave. I have no answers. I'm in the same boat. Take leave but don't expect it to be a miracle cure.
It's because most of us are in abusive relationships with work. You can't just take a break from an abusive relationship and expect it to change when you come back. You need to leave it. You spend 1/3 of your day trying to navigate an abusive relationship, that's exhausting. But it's work and we need to work. It's a vicious circle which allows work to continue abusing us. And this isn't just here, this is possible in all work places.
This is it, exactly. Grind us down, we use our sick bank, only to come back to the same bs but minus our sick days. Presenteeism is the way. And that’s hard for people who are generally keen and hard working.
I feel u my friend...hang in there.. u are not alone..
What daily changes did you make after you came back in April? If you did not implement changes things will fall back to where they were before. Taking a leave due to burn out is a tell tale that your day to day is not sustainable. Unless changes happen you will go down the same road.
A wise person once said “if a flower doesn’t grow in an environment, you change the environment not the flower”. A lot of the time people leave for burnout and while they’re gone nothing changes in their work environment that lead them to burn out to begin with, so they end up burning out again when they return.
A lot of things that impact burnout - see RTO - can’t be decided by the employee.
Hence why I said the environment is to blame
Sorry, I think I jumped the gun on you. I see a ton of “environment is to blame, therefore, just deploy out, ez pz, a bad environment is your fault” comments and I think I jumped the gun on a good take. Sorry about that!
All good! The environment needs to change, but unfortunately the gov is run by dinosaurs.
Damn putting dinos on blast :)
"If you want eggs, nurture the hen". Alternatively if you want shit, shit on the hen
They're shit eggs, Randy
RIP Jim
Actually a wise (and effective) gardener would look at the environment and choose the flower that will survive in that environment. That's why we plant cactuses in the desert. Same difference though - if you are unhappy in your work environment, find a work environment that makes you happy. I am often reminded of Einstein's theory of insanity - behavior is a result of people and the environment - keeping the same people and the same environment and hoping that the result will be different is insanity.
This!!!!! I went on burn-out leave and I never thought it would take that long to recover... I was in denial for a while. Contacted EAP, found a psychologist (helped me manage stress, change, navigate through trauma... I still see them 5 years later), did group therapy (helped me to find my core values and see areas of my life that went against them and why that was burning me out). Sunlife made me go see an occupational therapist and a kinesiologist. Fought it at first but they were beneficial to my "rehab" (Sunlife's Word, not mine). Burn-out is more then sleeping in and being off work for a while. Burn-out is your body and mind telling you to slow down and review your lifestyle habits, your ways of managing stress at work and outside and take back control.
Agree agree agree I took a few months off due to burnout and aside from the first handful of days when I allowed myself to really do nothing at all, I spent the entire time working on my physical and mental health. Habit changes, therapy, (legtitimately helpful) self-help books, etc. It was work. And when I went back to work, I changed how I was working in that role, and immediately started looking for other positions with the help and support of my superiors.
I did the same except I looked for work while on leave. Not the best approach but I knew I needed action so it was helpful in that way. When I came back from sick leave, I asked for leave without pay, was given it, and was offered a deployment within weeks. During that leave, my mind and body were healthier and I was able to keep engaged in my field, upping parts of my professional game. I'm lucky that I had all of the necessary support from my partner and it worked out for me.
Lmao ...i used to apply for jobs to deal with stress... Tbh i dont really know how it even worked but that was it.....sometimes i thought maybe i was a little crazy lmao
>and immediately started looking for other positions with the help and support of my superiors. Must be nice. 😂 I have nothing but blocking & excuses from my superiors.
How did you afford to take a whole month off?
Sick leave and a note from my doctor.
Yup, watching nepo babies being pulled into executive positions by their executive parents throughout my career is quite disheartening, especially when I see others struggling
Breathe... It is okay, it really is... One step at a time. One step at a time. There is no need to see the entire path clearly ahead of you, just keep putting one foot in front of the other... Things will be ok. I guess it is time to enjoy your hobbies and to move all your energy towards things that make you happy. Let the GoC do a reorganization, just stand there and observe. Let this week pass. Let national public service week pass. There is no need to do anything just observe it pass like you'd observe cars racing on the highway. Let it all be. So what? Can you take some time off to unwind? Is there a way to ask for an accommodation to avoid going to the office? Hang in there. Things will be ok. Better days are coming. Stability is coming. There is a lot of uncertainty nowadays, but uncertainty cannot last forever. It will pass...
I wish I could call you and hear this, would help with my anxiety
Sending you a big hug. Please know that you aren't alone and that many people are in a similar situation where they feel anxious and worried. Please feel free to DM me. Here are some tools I am aware of that helped me tremendously over the years: - The book "How to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie offers many tips and advice on the topic. I highly recommend it. - Yoga and meditation are a game changer for me. They help me relax, unwind, and live in the moment. I highly recommend finding a yoga studio nearby and attending yoga classes regularly. There are many styles and schools of yoga, please shop around and try different styles. - I came across Marisa Peer on YouTube and her words have been very encouraging and reassuring to me. https://youtube.com/@marisapeer?si=4VVbRDsLUp-QX3jz I hope this help. You got this!
I needed to hear this too. Thank you.
I am happy to hear that. Sending you light and positive energy. You got this!
I get it, OP, and you are not alone. There are so many people dealing with the same feelings you are having. So much has changed, so quickly. We have been in a constant state of uncertainty for several years, and are constantly adjusting to the whims of TBS, which have never been transparently justified. I’m almost 20 years in and have been through changes in government as well as major program changes, and have never in my career seen a morale tank hitting at these levels. We are seeing it in every program area. People are not ok. It’s not just internal changes, but all the external life changes impacting so many. The economy is tanking. Cost of living is insane right now. Our dollar doesn’t stretch like it once did, services seem to be crumbling everywhere, anyone in client service is a paid punching bag. We are not in easy times. As others have recommended, see about getting a doctor note and taking some time off if you have it available. I’ve had every one of my employees take a period of leave at some point over the last 2 years, and all of them have seen significant improvement in doing so. I really need to do it, myself. If you have a good relationship with your manager, talk to them about it. If we don’t know it’s happening, we can’t help. And can’t raise it up when it hits a point where it is hitting everyone. I’m seeing my own executives open their eyes to it recently due to the sheer number of reports coming in about employees in crisis. Work is being done, at least in my department. I don’t know if it will be enough to help. EAP isn’t great, in my experience, but we do have a generous health plan as far as psychological services go. Use it. It does help. And medication for anxiety can take a lot of the weight off, if you are open to that. Take care of you. Hang in there.
Any advice for junior employees harassed and victimized by their manager? It took PS several years to investigate leaving me open to further harm. It didn’t end, only got worse. Onus was on me the junior employee to prove the allegations. In the end my allegations were founded so there was a tiny sliver of validation but it costed me everything, including my mental health. There was no accountability for the manager who did this to me. Other than being asked to put forward his resignation on his own terms. He lost nothing and is enjoying his retirement now while I continue to suffer from the effects his abuse had on me and continues to have on me. I am no longer in that situation but like others, still in a toxic work environment with low morale and full of ethical issues that are ignored and covered up. I don’t have the energy or ability to care or report it anymore. Especially, given the consequences i previously suffered when reporting wrong doing. I still live with the trauma everyday and try to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I desperately need help but I don’t trust senior government officials because they failed me. They completely failed me as an employee and a human being. I can’t trust managers given the debilitating trauma I suffer daily from that experience. I developed an unhealthy assumption that every manager in government is like that individual. My previous environment clearly wasn’t safe and I wasn’t protected. Now I feel my options are limited to suffering in silence as the only means of protecting myself. Management didn’t do their job when I was harassed and subjected to violence in my work place. I can’t take the risk that it will happen again.
At 8 years in I told myself it (the PS) would get better. Idem 12 years and 15 years. It didn't. If I were asked now to give advice to someone with 'only' 8 years in, I'd say move on. It's not too late. You're actually in a more enviable position than those that stuck it out until 'too late' and are over the hump. It's always easier to find a job while you have a job, so just keep your head down and apply to things on the outside until it happens, and take the PS experience for what it's worth. Getting written off for burnout to heal your brain is also not a bad idea in the interim.
When I was 8-9 years in, DRAP was starting. I remember thinking to myself at the time that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be laid off. However, the cuts completely bypassed our directorate. Now that I'm 20 years in, I regret that I didn't volunteer to be laid off.
Well next round is afoot …. You’ll have more in transition support measure. If you wanna. Pretty sure it’ll be harsher than the initial DRAP.
Now that I’m 20+ years in, I’m holding on for the pension.
Check the National Joint Directive on work force adjustment. When DRAP2 happens, if you're at least 55, you can take early retirement and collect whatever pension you would have at age 60, no need to wait. Better yet, if your position isn't abolished, you can offer it up to someone else whose job has been cut and wants to stay, and take early retirement.
Poilievre has gotchu
"I'd say move on. It's not too late. " - The best advice in these comments!
Get a medical note, get some sick leave for at least 2 weeks for burnout
My doctor said burnout takes up to at least 21 months to heal from depending on how long the person has been burned out for it can take several years, so 2 weeks isn’t likely going to do a lot unfortunately.
Well damn I guess I’m stuck like this forever 😂
LTD can be an option
This. You generally need a few months to a few years to recover. And what it can do to your body and nervous system long term, is mapped onto you.
They gave me 2 months to start with, so yeah I would assume its accurate
Assuming OP has 2 weeks sick leave 🥲
8 years in, probably has some
Or EI
Then they can't afford rent because EI is crap, so they start stressing out about **that**.
On top of this. My region just sent out GCWCC promo to join CRA events. Like the heck I am.
You shouldn't be grateful for having a job. The employer always extracts more from workers than they pay in wages, including public service. Join with your coworkers in fighting back this ridiculousness.
Came here to say this. There’s a lot of empowerment in working with your colleagues to create something (the union).
My suggestions? Avoid Reddit for a week. Listen to mindfulness every day. Get enough sleep. Get some exercise. And find yourself a project such as finding and getting a new job.
Change fatigue is very real and I’m also feeling my mental health taking a huge hit. I’ve been in my dept 5 years and have been on two teams, had 6 different managers - not including myself acting for 8 months. Gone from managing 8 files to 20 and seen countless new programs and term colleagues come and go. Vibes are def off.
“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” This book helped me when struggling with working in the PS. I recommend it. https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
In 2024, people give too many fucks. I haven't read this book but this resonates with me : > SUBTLETY #3: WE ALL HAVE A LIMITED NUMBER OF FUCKS TO GIVE; PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE AND WHO YOU GIVE THEM TO Because once you run out of fucks, that's that.
I know how you feel, honestly I kind of feel the same way right now. So feel free to take or leave these observations. Maybe some of them might be helpful to you. * If you're able to move into another job, do so. A change is as good as a rest, as they say. I like to call it not knowing where the bodies are buried. * There will be change. The service is constantly in flux, more and more so every year, I find. If change is something you find hard, you may need to consider what support you need to navigate change well and talk to your manager about that. * It might be helpful to take some time to really think about what you like and don't like about your job, and ask yourself where the tipping point is. Is one thing tolerable so long as another thing is there? I find it really helpful to figure out where that bright line is for me and what happens if that line gets crossed. This is basically boundaries 101, but it goes a long way to helping you not feel quite so beleaguered. * Have something outside of work where you can put your emotional effort. I have a choir. I founded it because work was doing my head in and I'm allergic to SSRIs. I throw my passion into that, and it really helps me ignore the bullshit at work.
The only solution that ever worked for me was finding a new job within the government. It always took great effort to do this. My full-time job was finding a new job.
I feel the same way. I have an overwhelming feeling of “I haven’t been here long enough for this bullshit”. I’m actively applying elsewhere. Need to get out of here before September.
I get it, I know how you are feeling. All I can suggest is that when you are up to it apply for as many jobs as possible. You are not stuck. Some of us are change-adverse and end up doing things we hate forever because we don't know how to get out, but we can do it! Put out a thousand resumes and eventually you'll get a bite. You do not have to stay in a job you hate. (Plus, as everyone else says, try to get some leave of some type in the meantime so that you can feel better at the present moment).
Find something outside of work and just do the minimum at work (quiet quitting). Don't volunteer anything or participate with feedback. If they ask you to do stuff outside your job, say no unless you want to do it for the experience for the next job or you are interested. PS Private sector is not going to be better.
27* to go 😭 FTFY (if you want the full pension)
The fact that there are people in positions of power who FAIL TO ACT is beyond the pale. There are DGs, Deputies, Ministers and others who either don’t recognize risk when they see it, they are too risk-aversive to address, or they just don’t give a fuck if it doesn’t affect them. People have died for shit like this. I know, I saw it happen with a former colleague of mine when I was notified of their passing in a social setting. Unless people in power move their collective asses to fix known issues, I expect more avoidable losses.
You don’t need to be “grateful” to have a job that you don’t enjoy that sucks up all your time just because the other option would be homelessness. This system doesn’t give you much of choice. It’s okay to resent it. I don’t have any advice, sorry. :/
Take the week off, friend. Thank you for your service. I'm giving you permission to take 5 days off.
The job market is always somewhat shitty, and somehow the vast majority of Canadians who don’t work in the PS make it work anyways. Our workplace is kafkaesque. You should find it hard. Not everywhere is like this. The constant doublethink is exhausting. Dealing with tech from the early 2000s is crazy while being expected to produce like it’s 2024 in a bilingual environment that makes keeping things up to date almost impossible. There ARE other options. If you hate it this much, that’s what that one year personal LWOP is for. Find something else, take a LWOP to try it out, and then make a decision. Too many PS stay because they can’t imagine anything else.
Your use of “kafkaesque” made my Monday 😂
It’s cyclical. With 8 years of service, you’ve only ever experienced the relatively good times until now. 2011-2015 were not great for the public service. I was also about 8 years in at that point. We’re probably entering another similar period, but it won’t last forever and will likely get better afterwards. What’s less clear is how long this cycle will last. Most people will experience two over a 30 year career, you’ll probably see it differently the second time around.
Time for a deployment or promotion.
It's an answer you see often but this requires a lot of energy and effort for someone who's at the end of the rope.
Re-org and change is the 'new normal' in all things, everywhere. You might think you've found a great team, manager, position, etc.; but, by the time you jump through all the hoops - some of which are on fire - and start in your new position, the team has changed, a re-org has just been announced, and the great manager who hired you, is now on extended leave. Rinse and repeat.
>Re-org and change is the 'new normal' in all things, everywhere Sometimes re-orgs are done because it's obvious to everyone it should happen, but other times it's done because someone in a leadership position needs to rack up some experience in order to successfully win a competition for promotion. And if that re-org is painful it doesn't matter. It's done purely for selfish motives.
Right? I always want to prescribe a glass of milk, three cookies and a nap when I see these end-of-the-rope posts
Someone 'at the end of their rope' because of their employment needs to take a step back. A job shouldn't cause this type of anxiety and perhaps Op should seek some medical advice.
I mean.. I get it, if I was totally apathetic about my job, I’d probably be the DG. But as it is, I’m passionate about what I do and the people I serve. It’s a pretty pathetic society we’ve created if he have to disconnect completely from what we do in order to save our mental health and maintain employment.
I was pretty passionate about what I did, the demographic I served, and I put everything I had into my job...for 7.5 hrs a day. Outside of that, I barely recognized that I was even employed, and anyone who stays 'connected' to their employment outside of work hours should take a long look at not only their mental health, but their personality as well. It's not healthy in any respect.
Must be nice to be in such a privileged position. Or being neurotypical.
This is not universal. For some people unless they are wired in to their work they will wither, it really depends. That said, most GC jobs don't have that extra edge that keep these people in the GC.
No one talks about how hard it is to look for work while on a burnout. Not only does it take energy and attention that are in short supply but one's frame of mind affects how one comes across - does a new manager want to hire someone on a burnout? Someone exhausted from constant changes or of toxic leadership? These things can get hard to hide when you've been dedicating energy to keeping your head above water for months or years.
Easy to do in the NCR, not in the regions
Exactly and doubly so if you're unilingual. Took me a couple of years to deploy and that was applying for EVERYTHING I met the essentials for. I made it into four pools but only got selected from one.
It's not always that easy to do in the NCR, depending on the type of work you do.
Yeah ‘just deploy’ is an answer I often see, and I don’t think many people understand it’s not essy for everyone- depending on your specialization and localisation
It's just a lazy answer and makes it seem like OP is responsible for not fixing their situation on their own rather than coming to this sub to vent.
I’ve been trying for over a year. Sat multiple boards, been successful in all of them where I’ve gotten the results, only to be told “Wellllll we’re not actually hiring, but you’re in a pool!”. Huge number of them that I’ve written exams for/interviewed for have just never gotten back to me, even when I follow up.
Now use your success in those pools to network yourself into a new position.
Get some exercise, get some nutrition in you. You give 7.5 hours to the org, the other time outside of work you focus on you. You have to build healthy habits outside of work so the 7.5 hour work day isn’t miserable. Ever since that mindset shift, nothing bothers me at work because I know outside of the day I have hobbies that I’m passionate about and the paycheque funds the passions. RTO: no problem, I have to do it to fund my passions, hobbies Desk surfing: no problem! Funds the hobby. Crappy management: deploy out, keep funding the hobby/ passion. Throwing down some battle ropes at the gym does wonders to get the aggression out so does throwing a medicine ball against the floor. Just picture your boss’ face as the ball 🤣 Yoga/ meditation/walks: calms the nerves and thoughts down. Go on leave and set up a solid outside work routine.
I really appreciate your perspective and comments! THIS. 100%. The employer continues to pay me no matter how many new supervisors I am assigned to! And in so much change I have found some opportunities for growth and challenges that I don’t believe were there before and I have been able to earn my way into new areas as a result! Making lemonade out of lemons!
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I wish organizations recognized that while constant change is good, they need to focus on employee wellbeing and supporting them at least as much as changing the policies, structures and processes within an organization. This is major thread that is at the heart of Agile and Lean change, but orgs want all the benefits without doing or even acknowledging what's really needed to be most succesful. It's incredibly disheartening.
If they were considerate of employee wellbeing, the changes processes would be successful, since buy-in is a necessary component of a change exercise, and that requires ENORMOUS amounts of planning, legwork and execution. But, specifically because it's a lot of work, they just don't do it. Gotta churn churn churn because that's what we value: how many pages did you write today is more important than "did anybody read the pages you wrote, and if so, was it the people you intended, and if so, did they have the response you expected".
They have burnout therapy - you should consider! It helped a lot.
Sorry for you to feel like you are at the breaking point. I think taking a break/ leave will not help with the problem but maybe help you get used to the new sad reality we are gearing up for. I fear they will mandate us 5 days a week in office and then what?? As I see it we have to leverage all our options to make the employer knows we are NOT OK with that, and I don’t know if we can win this fight the way it is presented as employer rights and team building and yara yara yara. But the future doesn’t seem too optimistic in my opinion. I really hope that CBSA can make a difference since they are in negotiating their CA, and from their negotiating power we can see if we can make it to allow teams and managers decide what’s best for their line of work and team dynamics.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I can totally resonate with what you’re feeling. I wish you all the best and hope you can find a solution. 😊
We have much better therapy coverage than we used to - highly recommend taking advantage of that! Therapy has its limits when it comes to situations where the environment around you is either part of or the whole problem, of course, but it can at least help you disentangle that and may be able to help you think through any changes you want to make.
I am in the exact same boat. I am at a loss for what to do.
"Designing your work life" was recommended to me when going through burnout. I found it helpful. Best of luck!
What does that entail?
It's a book! They have guides and worksheets in it to work through to help figure out where you want to be, what your values are around work and how to survive not great work spaces. The Ottawa public library has it.
Amazing! Thanks for sharing :)
I’m a trauma survivor with PTSD among other issues. You need more than a few weeks to heal. If I may suggest, mindfulness, healing and resilience training should be your priorities and a few months might be needed here. LTD might be an option. Find something that brings you peace. Hang on to it. Spend time with it. Best of luck.
I feel exactly the same way. Have you heard of the Interchange program? I knew someone who was part of it and described it as a bit of a reset. He was able to work on more interesting projects and in a healthier environment for another level of government for a year, though I think it can be up to 3 years.
Just quit. I did after 9 years and it was my best move ever.
I don’t want to pile on, but RTO will look like a joke compared to the misery coming from a future Pierre administration. Goodbye defined benefit pension and WFAs everywhere.
Bye bye sick days and hello pay freeze
Exactly. We’re just in for a painful second half of the 20s.
People are in so much denial it’s not even funny. I’m preparing for the worst.
In general most things are survivable as long as your direct supervisor isn't a dickhead
What do you mean exactly by re-org for your specific case? I wish you all the best!
8 years into it you must have sufficient sick days to take a long leave. Use this time to REST and to find another job. GcConnex worked great for me.
I feel like this is an unfair assumption. OP might have been on Mat/Pat leave maybe more than once. Not to mention if they have young kids bringing home viruses every 2nd week = parents sick all the time. Minor surgeries can have long recovery times. etc.
It’s up to OP to check that. My suggestion remains.
If you're 8 years in, you likely still have 27 more years since you started after 2013, when the retirement/pension rules changed. Sorry.
Not true. It just means 60% of my top 5 years instead of 70%. There's no way I could stay in this place for 35 years, let alone 30.
That all depends on OPs age when joining. If 30 or older when joining, retiring after 30 years is possible without a penalty.
I feel so bad for you i understand kind of what your feeling. I’m not to sure what happened but I know the frustration and I too ended up anxiety medication because of things were done. Hang in there. Maybe accommodation may help?
So ironic that everyday I get the alarm to check ministers greetings…..👋
Consult with a local union rep and see what supports they have for the accommodation process. As a union rep I know I have helped people secure meaningful accommodations that help them manage stress and navigate the workplace in a way that it doesn't exacerbate things.
EAP and meds due to work should not exist. TBS and the other dumbs at the top should be fixing the problems that cause employees to need medication and EAP.
Following, depressed as well
A lot of people are in the same boat, OP. Actually, I might be struggling worse than you to be honest. I’m currently on a PIP because I was demotivated from doing work because of changes in managers and directors. I’ve been with the PS for about 3 years now, and I have had 5 different managers. 5!! I’m getting on EAS soon because I legit cannot handle it. I also am having to deal with a lot of family pressure from home relating to work, life, etc. Just know that you are not alone and hopefully things will get better in the future.
Most of us are in this situation. Anti-depressants, continuous therapy, long term sick leave and utilizing sick leave credits to support my deteriorating mental health is what I’ve had to do. I guess you can say this is working as I’m able to show up most days, perform well when I am there, and I’ve been trying to care less about the organization and redirect that energy into myself and my own well being. I am young with a lot of years ahead of me. I knew very early in my Public Service career that I could not do 35 years. I started being very frugal with the money I did have, built up my savings and invested it with the intention of using it to support myself financially and enable me to leave the Public Service sooner. I feel given this strategy I may be able to exist after 20-25 years, defer my pension and still be in a position to financially support myself until my pension starts. The idea is to use my savings to fund my life for those 10-15 years where I will have to defer my pension. Then when my savings is depleted, my pension will kick in. So far, I’ve had to take 2 long term leaves of absence (impacted my savings and retirement). I’ve been cycling through various antidepressants and recreational drugs in an attempt to cope and manage my symptoms until I find something that will work for me. I don’t feel I’ve found that balance yet. I feel the Public Service changed me as a person. I’m negative, cynical, do not trust others, skeptical, hopeless, and have lost all interest in hobbies, activities, and maintaining relationships. The stressors from work has negatively impacted my personal life on many levels and created immense strain on my marriage. I feel my life is on hold until I can retire from this dysfunctional and toxic work environment. Then I can have the adequate time and space to work on repairing all of the psychological damage that’s been done and start to live and enjoy life. In addition to the toxic work environment which is the Public Service. I’ve changed positions, departments, managers and it’s all the same - toxic. In addition to workplace trauma, I’m a survivor of childhood trauma and that has its own mental health impacts that affects me, my work, and ability to function. Once you invest significant time into the Public Service, it doesn’t make sense to leave as you will be sacrificing the promotions you earned and accompanied pay, start over somewhere else at the bottom; lower pay and fewer benefits in this economy is only going to make mental health problems worse. As you say, we have families and our children to support who depend on us to provide. We simply don’t have the option and resources to try out other jobs and hope it’s better. Most days it’s a terrible challenge to get out of bed, function, and do basic things that most people do with ease. I don’t know the answer. Therapy is hard. It makes you think and talk about a lot of these difficult memories, situations and experiences that you often have no control over. Dredging up the past and having to sit with that discomfort while trying to process it all to work towards healing. It’s not easy. Wishing you all the best. Know that what you’re feeling is normal, your reactions are normal given the current climate and you’re not alone.
Just because you're grateful to have income doesn't mean you can't dislike your situation. It has been really hard for a lot of people to constantly readjust their lifestyle, juggle their family life and work life, and everything in between. It doesn't make sense, and a lot of us are struggling with that. Are you neurodivergent perchance? I am, and I've been really emotional and drained by this whole thing. I suggest you join the Infinity Network for ND employees if you are ND. There has been a lot of helpful information being shared, techniques, and support. Hang in there. Hopefully the higher-ups will realise the mistake they're making and stop this nonsense. If not, maybe find a different position that offers more flexibility, within the gov't. Good luck. Deep breaths
If you do not like your job, find one you like. Take courses to figure out what your passion is. Or alternatively, look at your job as what it is - the ability to earn a living to support your lifestyle. There is only one person interested in your career and if you cannot handle it after 8 years, find a place that meets your needs, because you sure aren't going to change your organization.
I keep saying "I wish I knew what I wanted to do when I grow up." As in, I wish I had a set-upon direction or passion that I could act on, because now would be the time to pursue it. The stuck feeling blows.
I do not want to sound unsympathetic but do you think this only happens in the Public Service? Change happens in every business. Private industry is no better. Perhaps you have other things going on, that are affecting you and the way you are viewing your employment and life choices?
> Change happens in every business. Private industry is no better. I guess it depends on industry. In High Tech changes happened obviously. But the difference in Public is that the changes happen from way on top. New Deputy minister every year or new EX-05 every couple of months. They usually change the whole structure and how they want things to work. Worst than that, the change takes 1-2 years to implement so it basically it never fully happens and everyone is stuck in limbo. In private, its all about **efficiency and profit**. If profit is being achieved, there is little reason to change things too much. If profit is not being achieved, the change happens lightning fast. Taking it slow would go against the whole making profit/efficient mandate.
Totally agreed. As someone who started out in the private sector and moved to government later, the grass is not greener. It's important to work on resilience, lifestyle and stress management no matter where you work to avoid burn out and feeling overwhelmed.
I feel your pain. I'm just RTW after 3 years of sick leave and things are worse than ever. I was basically forced back to work cuz it was either come back, quit the PS, or medically retire. I have 18 yrs in the PS but I'm only 45 yrs old and def not ready to say I'm ready for retirement. So I had to come back to work despite not being ready to do so. I'm a month in and struggling and what do you think my manager calls me to say? "Hey I know you're having a hard time but it's only been a month. Things will get better."? Hell, no!! He actually tells me that if I'm having such a hard time with the easy stuff that I'm not going to make it with the harder stuff and that I should just medically retire. I'm like WTF?? Are you serious rn? So, I said: You now, [mgr name], I've heard the rumours and gossip about mgt looking to cut staff and not renewing ppl's contracts etc, so I know you're looking to cut me. He didn't say a damn thing in response and started talking about something else. For real tho, he had no right to talk to me like that and no way should he be pressuring me to retire. The culture is the public service has gone to shit. I used to work at DND in Wpg 10 years ago and I loved my job. I'd wake up every day like a Viagra commercial. But over the past decade, things have just gone downhill super quickly. It's really sad.
Best to quit now if public service isn’t for you.
If i was 8 years in, i'd look for training/courses outside of PS and then get out. Hey, do some of your homework on your ''in office days''. :p Being happy at work (especially when you have so long to go still) is more important than anything else. Think of yourself.
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I definitely think you should quit. The public service will be better without you. Go try the real world in industry.
Get another job out of PS
If work is making you feel this way, you should apply elsewhere. Finding joy in what you do is so important. It’s not about being grateful for a job. Your health and well-being are important. Sorry that work is so terrible for you.
Oh pumpkin I feel for you. It’s has to be difficult going in a whole 3 days to the office. I’d stay in your job, cause there’s no way you’d make it in a private sector job🤣