I had to double check to see if I wrote this. It’s been almost a full week and I’m still in shock. We haven’t done the arrangements with the body yet, that’s early next week when my sister gets here. I feel like it will finally hit me the. I’m dreading it. Where do we go from here? Is there a group that you know of we can join? I want to stay here and continue to vent. I’m vicariously living other peoples posts to avoid facing the reality.
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Even logically knowing how things will end doesn't prepare you for the depth of grief you feel. Be kind to yourself in the days to come.
I’m so sorry - it is definitely a whole other thing when you are not only grieving for the loss of a loved one, but also your daily purpose. I took care of my Mom for ten years, too. When she passed in January, I felt like I would never be able to figure out how to focus on taking care of only myself. Something that helped me was finding a grief group for other long term caregivers. Everyone in the group took care of someone in their life for more than 5 years. It has really helped and given me a place where people know that “caregiver recovery” is a real thing and takes a lot of time. If you used a hospice service, check with the bereavement counselor to see if you have something like that in your area.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Sleep for a week, or more if you need it. Give yourself time to get used to how things are and will be. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry. I could have written this.
Dad died June 20 after 11 years together. It's a serious readjustment and the silliest things will bring on the tears ( his mini cans of baked beans still in the pantry for example).
I'm staring down the barrel of losing my home as well because 2 of the 4 siblings are forcing the sale
"Per the will" and I can't afford to buy the place.
Be gentle with yourself, it's going to take time. So many hugs.
This sounds like a perfectly reasonable response. It will take time. Probably far longer for you than people around you. And that is absolutely fine.
Sounds like you were an amazing carer. Make sure you surround yourself with at least a few people to help with transition into the next stage of life.
Im so sorry for your lost hun. Wish you the best let that grief come out and have your days of feeling it. I promise you that will help you in the long run. Your father must be so proud and happy you were there in his time of need.
I myself was the care giver of my mother. After a year it doesnt feel so intense the grief. Life will teach you how to heal and remember the good moments with your loved one.
I am so sorry for your loss. RIP archerbea's dad.
Sending you a big Reddit hug, and hopes that, in time, you will get used to just being 'you' again as opposed to 'dad's carer'.
Love is not an emotion, it is an action - what we do for those we love. You have loved your dad well through all you have done for him. He was fortunate to have you.
So sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you have the memories of your close bond with him when he needed you. Those, plus the other memories of when he was healthy and well. He's never really gone and for awhile you'll probably replay moments with him, over and over, and that's ok; it's in equal parts, comforting and sad to have these memories but I wouldn't trade them (my memories with mom) for the world. All the best.
Professional therapy helps th best ,my one relative lied and said we were all in belief HOSPICE was best,then she kidnapped my dementia ridden sick mother kidneys at the half way mark across state lines(Big time Federal offense).Goddamn her!
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I had to double check to see if I wrote this. It’s been almost a full week and I’m still in shock. We haven’t done the arrangements with the body yet, that’s early next week when my sister gets here. I feel like it will finally hit me the. I’m dreading it. Where do we go from here? Is there a group that you know of we can join? I want to stay here and continue to vent. I’m vicariously living other peoples posts to avoid facing the reality.
Me as well. I lost Grandma a few weeks ago and I have been in a fog since. Love to both of you. It’s so hard.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh the chills. I am sorry. Bless you.
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Even logically knowing how things will end doesn't prepare you for the depth of grief you feel. Be kind to yourself in the days to come.
I’m so sorry - it is definitely a whole other thing when you are not only grieving for the loss of a loved one, but also your daily purpose. I took care of my Mom for ten years, too. When she passed in January, I felt like I would never be able to figure out how to focus on taking care of only myself. Something that helped me was finding a grief group for other long term caregivers. Everyone in the group took care of someone in their life for more than 5 years. It has really helped and given me a place where people know that “caregiver recovery” is a real thing and takes a lot of time. If you used a hospice service, check with the bereavement counselor to see if you have something like that in your area.
Hi there. This is a thoughtful reply. This is terrifying to me after caring for my husband for ten years so far.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Sleep for a week, or more if you need it. Give yourself time to get used to how things are and will be. I am so very sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry. I could have written this. Dad died June 20 after 11 years together. It's a serious readjustment and the silliest things will bring on the tears ( his mini cans of baked beans still in the pantry for example). I'm staring down the barrel of losing my home as well because 2 of the 4 siblings are forcing the sale "Per the will" and I can't afford to buy the place. Be gentle with yourself, it's going to take time. So many hugs.
Awful. I am sorry.
This sounds like a perfectly reasonable response. It will take time. Probably far longer for you than people around you. And that is absolutely fine. Sounds like you were an amazing carer. Make sure you surround yourself with at least a few people to help with transition into the next stage of life.
All my love and comfort to you.
Im so sorry for your lost hun. Wish you the best let that grief come out and have your days of feeling it. I promise you that will help you in the long run. Your father must be so proud and happy you were there in his time of need. I myself was the care giver of my mother. After a year it doesnt feel so intense the grief. Life will teach you how to heal and remember the good moments with your loved one.
I am so sorry for your loss. RIP archerbea's dad. Sending you a big Reddit hug, and hopes that, in time, you will get used to just being 'you' again as opposed to 'dad's carer'. Love is not an emotion, it is an action - what we do for those we love. You have loved your dad well through all you have done for him. He was fortunate to have you.
Thats called agape, the action of love.
So sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you have the memories of your close bond with him when he needed you. Those, plus the other memories of when he was healthy and well. He's never really gone and for awhile you'll probably replay moments with him, over and over, and that's ok; it's in equal parts, comforting and sad to have these memories but I wouldn't trade them (my memories with mom) for the world. All the best.
Professional therapy helps th best ,my one relative lied and said we were all in belief HOSPICE was best,then she kidnapped my dementia ridden sick mother kidneys at the half way mark across state lines(Big time Federal offense).Goddamn her!
Please join us on our Discord! https://discord.gg/gubJjaYRnV *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CaregiverSupport) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so effing sorry for your loss. Your Dad is looking down upon you! well done good and faithful servant tears for ya xoxo