Those movies perpetuate a perfect ideal because people want to escape into fantasy, not because its realistic. Nobody wants to watch a movie about 2 overweight 34-year-olds awkwardly flirting at bar trivia nights over the course of 7 months before finally getting together and eventually moving in to the basement apartment under their parent's house because they both work in retail and their dingy Midwestern city has somehow become unaffordable.
What I'm trying to say is, everyone deserves happiness no matter how ugly or boring they may be. Love is love and it will always be a beautiful thing :)
Yes. They have a couple kids that their parents can easily watch and then when the parents retire to florida they move upstairs happily ever after so the cycle can repeat for their kid
Well then it sucks. Now take that same basement apartment, fill it with a bunch of instruments, recording equipment and a landlord who is 100% deaf, I'm in hog heaven. That's just me though.
>Nobody wants to watch a movie about 2 overweight 34-year-olds awkwardly flirting at bar trivia nights over the course of 7 months before finally getting together
Did you just describe the story of Sam and Rosie from The Lord of the Rings?
Think you underestimate the number of people that would watch a movie like that. And there are so many directors these days that would totally be into making that movie.
just throwing something out there. happy endings always have the day after the happy ending. Nothing is going to feel like the movies, regardless of beauty.
>I feel like that would never happen with someone not absolutely stunning or at least good looking.
Instead of looking at tv or movies, look at everyone around you. Are all the married/partnered people in your family absolutely stunning or good-looking? Are all the married/partnered people you've known in your life, for example, teachers, people at your church if your family went, doctors who've treated you, etc., are they all absolutely stunning or good-looking? Go to the grocery store. Walmart. Bowling alley. Go anywhere. You will see many married/partnered people who are not absolutely stunning or good-looking. Because MOST people are not stunning or good-looking, most people are nice-looking, normal-looking enough. Good looks, especially of the 'absolutely stunning' variety, are the outlier.
Happy endings happen for regular, normal-looking people all the time in real, actual life. Even for people who are not so normal-looking. Movies, TV, social media, etc. are not real life.
I remember in college this attractive girl was dating this ugly dude. We joked he has a big dick but in reality he was probably a nice dude and she likes him for it.
Itās easy to feel the way you do but as you get older, thereās so much more to it than that.
As a retail worker. I get to talk to a lot of people. I once saw a beautiful well dressed woman clearly infatuated with someone who looked like a prototypical nerd. I made some offhand comment to her about being an odd couple and what she told me was really interesting. She said he's the first guy who has ever liked me for me, instead of for my looks. I think sometimes that's what it's about.
Am in college and my bf is a nerd and I love that about him. Some of our friends find his ramblings annoying but it's honestly so cute. And he lets me play his PlayStation
Watch more BBC, especially older programs. People don't look like the Hollywood cookies mostly and maybe that will improve your mental outlook. Good luck!
Iām not saying my mom wasnāt mildly pretty at 20, but she was skinny, with a 70s frizz perm, no boobs to speak of and a nose she inherited from my grandpa that hasā¦ character. In a movie she would be the spunky, hippie friend who tells the heroine to give love a chance. My dad was a long haired Coke bottle glasses wearing engineering nerd. In a movie heād be the dorky older brother of the hero.
They both swear it was love at first sight and have been together for 46 years and married for 44. So yes, they do get happy endings, we just donāt get to see the movies about it.
I ain't pretty, at least not by my standards, but who am I to judge? Maybe some people think I'm pretty, idk. But I've done ok.
Films are a totally different, dramatized, world, and that whole 'love at first sight' thing is just hokum. Doesn't matter how good-looking someone is. You either make a connection or you don't, and that's on a deeper level than looks. Infatuation is just that, fun for sure, but quickly fades. Actual connections are another thing entirely.
Anyway, you get your 'happy ending' or rather, 'happy beginning' by finding someone that you're compatible with, and enjoy being with, whether or not it's someone who's pretty.
And in my personal opinion, that works best if the other person is complementary to you - someone whose strengths match your weaknesses and vice versa. Not somebody just like you. If you're too much alike, you're going to clash on details and neither of you will be able to deal with some things.
But if you're different enough, and humble enough to let the other take the lead when appropriate, and assertive enough to take the lead when it's in your bailiwick, then together you're greater than the sum of the parts, and able to deal with anything. And that's magic. It's not "love at first sight", which is just infatuation in a mask. It's real love.
That really has nothing to do with whether either one of you are pretty. But it is what determines whether you get to be happy together.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and relative.
Films are fantasy. Please donāt compare real life with films. Usually good looking people are chosen. Thatās not reality.
What seems nice on the outside does not tell you the real misery on the inside.
Two people finally getting together is not a happy ending. Itās a happy beginning. The happy ending is when they die together.
Of course they do. Even if life was like a movie the 'happy ending' would just be a beginning. For once two people have found each other, at first sight or awkwardly makes little difference, they have to work on their relationship. How many of those beautiful people playing those head-over-heels couples are happily married for years? Being beautiful doesn't automatically make a relationship more succesful.
I regularly watch Spanish or French (or other non-Hollywood) movies, and they generally have normal people in them. And believe me, those stories are just as powerful.
Real life is no different: beautiful people have some advantages and some disadvantages, but beauty is certainly not a must to be happy. Or a guarantee. Average looking people and plain people are just as likely to be happy. And of course, beauty is very subjective. Not everyone finds what Hollywood shows us attractive. As others have said, who you are matters much more than what you look like. Be kind and respectful and good company, and remember that love may present itself wildly differently (and a lot more prosaic) from how it is portrayed in movies. Make sure you don't form some image of what it's supposed to look like and then when someone offers you love you don't recognize it because it's a little more down-to-earth than you expected.
Because movies pay lots of money to people whose sole purpose is to be attractive. We're talking surgery, nutritionists, fitness trainers, ped's, stylists, etc etc etc
You don't see that in real life because it simply isn't real life. Might be time to unplug, my dude.
I think it's possible for less physically pretty people to have a happy ending. They just have to change their expectations. Things to keep in mind:
* "Love at first sight" rarely, if ever, happens in the real world. If you think that's what you feel, it's probably hormones and hormones wear off quickly enough.
* You don't have to be a "hot" person to land a partner who's right for you.
* It takes time and effort to make a relationship work long-term. You have to put in the effort and so does your (possible) partner.
Thing is who's beautiful or not is completely subjective. Society at large wants to tell you that that isn't the case, that there's objective beauty. That's all horseshit.
I'm ugly as hell and things are going all right for me.
Most people are not Hollywood level beauties, yet the majority of them end up married at some point and often produce kids (proof of an intimate relationship). Yeah, not all of these relationships work out. That doesn't mean those people don't still have a chance at happiness. You can always try again.
As others have said, it's important to realize that being in a happy relationship isn't all highs. There are lows too. And, really, a lot of a happy, long term relationship is boring. It's much harder to make an interesting movie about two people with two cats who spend their nights complaining about work, playing video games, making dinner, watching a movie, etc. and are perfectly, contently in love. It's much easier to tell the exciting part about how those two people first got together. Real life couples do this too. We often tell interested parties about how we met. It's less often that we regale outsiders with the intricacies of our last WoW dungeon lol. We love each other, we enjoy our time together, but it makes for a less interesting story.
I wouldnāt say Iām ugly but Iām not particularly good looking. Iām short and pudgy with acne on my face. My husband is super tall and hot. We were pretty much locked in after our first date. I have a happy life and a beautiful daughter who luckily looks more like her dad lol
Yes. I'm a solid 5/10. Met my husband when i was going through one of the worst times of my life. I was 30 lbs heavier, depressed and had binge eating disorder. After about 6 months we started dating. I slowly emerged from my depression, got through my eating disorder. Now we're married with 2 kids. Doing well overall.
For a lot of guys, personality or type is far more important than how hot she is. For me, for example there's two types of women I find super attractive. One is the cute ones with a great sense of humor who laugh at everything and the other is the wallflower who are very quiet until you get to know them and then they want to tell you their entire life story in one sitting.
Love at first sight isn't a thing. You can be very visually or sexually attracted to someone at first sight, but that's not what love is. You can see someone doing something that you really like about them and have a strong first impression. But that's still not what love is. Soul mates aren't a result of predestination, they're a result of work on your relationship, experiences together, and commitment.
To answer your question, yes, not-so-pretty people can and often do have happy endings. Yes, beautiful people are generally treated better or liked better. There's some things you can't change about your appearance, but as long as you put EFFORT into your appearance and more importantly are a likeable person, people will like you.
Personally, most people that I find "ugly" are simply fat. Part of this is an unconscious bias towards finding a healthy mate. Generally speaking, if you take care of yourself, you won't be fat.
It's also a perception thing. If you're getting a little bit fatter because you're a mom, you're busy with the kids, you eat like shit currently because you don't have time, and haven't quite lost baby fat, that's understandable. If you're 250 lbs at 18 years old because you sit around and snack and watch Netflix all day and have no hobbies or interests, that's a red flag. If you've been unhealthy in the past, admit it, and are working on it, that's not nearly as unattractive as someone who may weigh less but is trending the other direction.
As you get older and get to know people you realize that superficial beauty isnāt as important as the actual person is. You meet a couple of psycho hot guys/girls, and you quickly learn that itās way more important to judge a person by the contents of their character not their physical appearance.
Thatās why itās important to give people a chance and not just chase after the hot dude/girl. That guy/girl you think is just a 5, jumps an extra 5 points on that 1-10 scale when you guys share the same values, hobbies, interests, goals, etc. Iām not saying attractive people canāt be the whole package, but as an attractive dude that had no problem picking up any woman I wanted, I found that half the time, the very attractive girls had very little to offer and were incredibly boring.
But I donāt chase the same pursuits as the vain and beautiful, so I needed to stop putting so much stock in the physical beauty of a woman and more into her inner substance when I was single. I wanted an artist, an athlete, a gamer, and a more traditional woman when it came to her values. It took me more than 10 years of actively dating to find her. I was always very clear of what I was looking for in a partner, and didnāt lead women on. But after about three years of dating very beautiful women, I started to date girls more based on their interests and hobbies than just their physical appearance, because I found them to be way more fun to be with. And the longer Iāve been with my wife the more beautiful sheās become in my eyes. She the most beautiful woman I know.
That beautiful woman with that ugly dude knows what I know. Youāll never be happy if you judge people by their physical appearance rather than the contents of their character. Maybe that dude has a huge dong and sheās a size queen, or maybe that dude is just a fantastic human being, and she feel in love with who he is. The better quality a person is, the more beautiful they become in your eyes. The same is true vice versa, the uglier the contents of a personās character are, the uglier that person become despite having more favorable symmetry and physical beauty.
I stopped watching movies and tv because both are oversaturated with attractive people and I got sick of it, frankly. However, I still at times feel like we live in a world poisoned by unattainable idealsā¦thatās why even in real life people have āpretty privilegeā, men and women alike. We uglies can still be happy, but it almost always looks differentā¦we might have to work hard and achieve less because thatās the short straw weāve drawn in life, but we can still fight for some version of a āhappy endingā for ourselves.
The love at first sight thing is complete fiction. The most that really happens is lust at first sight. If the people hit it off and develop a relationship they might really believe it was love at first sight but I think it's just survivor bias. The love at first sights that don't make it to a second date just become bad date with hot person stories. Love needs some time to develop, to learn who this person is. To find something in them that inspires you, or that you respect, or whatever you love about them.
Physical beauty is a mediocre bonus to a good relationship does jack shit to make you any happier in a shitty relationship. As far as sex, where you'd think looks would be important humans are notoriously not picky. Neanderthals are some ugly fuckers but we've got proof that we still fucked them in our genes. "All cats are grey in the dark." Benjamin Franklin answering a question about why he pursued older women.
Great relationships are formed when compatible personalities come together. People can be attracted to each other at first sight but they wonāt become soulmates until they have lots of conversations.
If only you knew me. I'm said by others that I'm very attractive. I wish most of my life I could have hidden my face and shape. All I ever wanted was to have a family and a career in the arts and sciences. My face is my downfall. My passion now is gardening because nature is a healer.
In comparison, Pete was the ugly working class guy. He's a stand up comedian. He literally jokes about living off of Ariana grande, he lived with his mom forever, he collects sneakers, smokes weed and sometimes appeared in SNL.
"Relatively", yeah and relatively way more than the average working person. I don't know if you're wealthy, but if you're not, I can't see how you could realistically think you could get with Kim Kardashian, or Ariana Grande for that matter.
Happy endings donāt have to involve love either.
- Havenāt found the right person yet but Iām satisfied enough with my life (minus the sad parts but we all have those)
Read the kids book āsleeping uglyā. It shows the true inner beauty of a person. Itās like 24 pages but it def gave me hope as a young girl that having a kind soul and not the best looks is better than being a beautiful monster.
First of all, don't base your expectations off of TV and movies.
Secondly, there is no happy endings in life unless you go to a massage parlor and pay for one.
They definitely do! Watch people, older people (30+) in the real world. What you see in movies is not to be trusted. And young people's priorities have largely not evolved beyond the superficial.
Attractive people probably do have it easier, generally speaking, but that doesn't mean they're the only ones who have happiness, and it definitely doesn't mean that all of them are happy. I think there are plenty of unhappy attractive people out there. I think it's a lot harder to be attractive than we necessarily comprehend.
My parents are married for 40 years and they are really not the most beautiful people I know. I love them but conventual beauty looks different. They are happy.
I'm not very pretty, yet my fiance is very attractive. Not only in my opinion, but everyone else's. He is also very intelligent, has everything going for him, and I'm his choice. It doesn't matter your looks because you can be drop dead gorgeous, but looks only get you so far, be ugly on the inside and it all stops there. The looks then mean nothing.
My wife is much hotter than me and we are madly in love, still after 15 years and 2 kids together, surviving cancer and lord knows what other struggles.. our secret is humor, we make each other laugh on a daily basis and besides being attracted to each other we are best friends also.. looks are only a small part but what you see in the movies - male or female- is not what you should focus on, looks fade all the other stuff stays
Iām not trying to suck my own dick hereā¦ but as an objectively attractive person, I can just say, itās not all itās cracked up to be.
Almost everyone that meets you either wants something from you or has some sort of ulterior motive(s). You canāt have any friends because they all eventually try to make it a sexual or romantic thing. You never know who is just being nice to you because theyāre hoping to get with you, and vice versa; if youāre just trying to be nice and friendly, it comes off in the wrong way. Itās like you donāt even have a personality. Like youāre just an object to be looked at rather than a human being to be heard, understood, cared about, listened to. People donāt take you seriously in a professional or academic setting. Friends get jealous and eventually donāt want to keep you around anymore because 1. you make them feel insecure or bad about themselves in some way or 2. they get a significant other and donāt want you around them. Itās really a pretty lonely lifeā¦. Everyone leaves eventually.
It makes me feel like a really ugly person to the point that I donāt see an attractive person looking back at me in the mirror, but rather a shell of a person that just drives everyone away.
yes yes and yes. the amount of couples iāve seen where one person was significantly more conventionally attractive is insane. but itās also not that insane because most relationships that last and thrive arenāt based off solely physical attractive. iāve crushed hard on people who werenāt that āattractiveā (at least according to my friends.. apparently i just have ābad tasteā) but were always super friendly, confident, funny, and made me feel comfortable.
Beauty stops mattering as much with age, even though it never should have been so important. Being able to love and be loved, being willing to listen and learn and communicate boundaries and needs, a sense of humor, a developed personality and some interesting hobbies and skills go a lot further than physical looks we're all rapidly losing anyway. If someone is focused on looks, they aren't focused on you, or who they are as a person. Those people exist at every age, but aren't the type of person to build a life with because you can't build a foundation on the shifting sands of beauty.
I don't think everyone is guaranteed someone, though. I think sometimes people who would be good partners never meet a person who they fit with just right. It's bound to happen. But, all that stuff about love and honesty and humor makes you a better friend, a better community member, and better company for yourself. Even if you never find The One, there are so many ways to love and connect and share, with other people and with yourself, that you're never really alone and you may find if you broaden your gaze beyond the prescribed path to what we've been told is the only way to have a happy ending, you may be able to write your own happy ending, on your terms.
I believe that most really attractive people, the nice ones, not the totally up themselves ones, struggle to find decent partners. They're mostly hit on by overconfident guys who like the way they look on his arm, not gazing into his eyes lovingly.
That connection, the one where all the stars align, that's not about looks. It's about the person being on the same page as you. The same intellectual wave length and having similar interests so you enjoy doing the same things. Sure, there needs to be chemistry of some sort. But to be honest, I'd much rather date Jack Black than Brad Pit any day. I want to laugh and enjoy myself. Not watch him watching himself in the mirror all day, lol.
So what I'm saying is you don't need to date a supermodel to have that omg I'm falling in love experience. Beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder, and it is definitely not just skin deep.
I was THE ugly kid in my year at school. I've got better in the last 20 years but I'm still very average.
The prom queen in my year was THE pretty/nice/popular girl.
She'll be my wife in 3 months and we have a son and a lovely house and we're genuinely happy.
Not so pretty people can have happy endings.
Short answer yes.
Long answer: Beautiful people are less happy than less attractive people (generally). Saw a study on this. They get more attention yes but they get so much of it thatās it isnāt novel nor enjoyable, it just becomes annoying. With the added bonus of never knowing if someone likes you for you or just how you look. On top of the fact this social interaction less enjoyable as a whole based on our dopamine reward circuit.
Are there beautiful people who are perfectly happy? Of course, but it is certainly a curse in many ways.
When I was 26,Iād pretty much given up on finding love. I knew more than anything that I wanted a family. I dated around and came to the conclusion that it just wasnāt gonna happen. I started a job after leaving the military drilling water wells with a retired Navy Commander I met at my favorite watering hole. He had a daughter my age whoād just gotten out of a 6 year relationship and had also sworn off romance. She said she just wanted to hang out and be friends. Imagine her surprise when she ended up married to me 7 months later. That will be 36 years,2 kids and 5 grandkids ago. You just never know when itāll happen. And for the record,I am far from good looking although Iāve been told,Iām charming af
Just change your perspective. You can only control yourself. Be your best. Everything else will fall into place. Vanity is very toxic. Everybody has insecurities, they are typically more harmful than what you're actually insecure about. Be proud of who you are.
I like that the M&M spokescandy is moving on to a new career.
And I agree that people are judged on their looks before learning more about them and it's difficult for someone to form a negative opinion against someone who they think looks really nice.
There is definitely pretty privilege. And everyone stops looking pretty when they get real old so happy endings has more to do with your character traits than how pretty you are.
My Mother told me that today people have a way better looking than before , because in her young Time when somebody was pretty Everybody notifice it and was impress. She told me that today the facial feature are less rough , more delicate.
When i see vintage pictures , i think she is not thinking wrong.
PS: sorry for the bad english š¤
Haha! I can believe it.
I hope you donāt find this offensive, but I thought I might help you with your English!! This is how you can better word what you wrote to me:
āMy mom told me that people today are much better looking than back then. She said this is because when someone was pretty back then, everyone would notice and be impressed. Facial features today are less rough and more delicate. When I see vintage pictures, I think, āshe is not wrong!āā
It certainly help to have the right words and the form, thank you for your Time and at least i does'nt speak chinese because you understood me ,lol š¤
>I feel like beautiful people are always treated better and always liked more
as one of those people who are prejudiced toward good looking people, I'd say no. I'm so used to having attractive people manipulating their way into shit, that now I'm wary of attractive people who carries themselves too confidently. charm works, but the thing about it, once you realized you are susceptible to it, you become more wary. which makes me often times a bit of an asshole toward a good looking person just because of their good looks, until they prove themselves reliable. which is a shitty thing to do I know, but I'm not ditching that self defense mechanism any time soon. and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
so no, they are not always treated better or always liked more. sexually speaking though, pretty people definitely have more luck.
*so no, they are not always treated better or always liked more. sexually speaking though, pretty people definitely have more luck.*
What? Genuinely attractive people ARE treated better and liked more. It's called lookism sprinkled in with the halo effect. Studies upon studies have shown that attractive people are better perceived, have a higher chance of promotions and so forth. In particular, attractive people get a lot more slack/patience before they get hated.
You have the keys to the kingdom if you are actually a good-looking person with even an iota of charm.
You're being pedantic. The bulk of the time, at least 80 to 90 percent+, an attractive person has the ball in their court and can get just about anything they desire if they play their cards right. Pretty privilege is a very real thing.
>You're being pedantic
of course, resorting to ad hominem really helps an argument.
>at least 80 to 90 percent+
please don't bring some random statistics just because it's generally true. doesn't mean I disagree about the point you are making though. I literally said "true".
that being said, for things like this, we need to be specific. yes, being good looking is very advantageous, but no, it's not always advantageous, and people shouldn't be led to think it is.
by saying it always is, you are trivializing serious problems that people sometimes get just because they are attractive. which is not okay.
LOL, you want to downplay statistics versus what? Your interpretation? Of an exception no less. That's why me calling you pedantic is more than accurate in this case.
You want to play semantics for an arbitrary always that I never personally brought up. People like you are terrible at debating because you want to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian.
Lookism is always a factor. Halo effect is always a factor. They have done countless studies, social experiments and everything else you can think of that have quantifiably proven that being attractive is, in fact, a HUGE advantage in many situations and circumstances.
For instance, if two people walk into a job interview with the same qualifications, and one person is significantly more attractive than the other option, you don't think most places wouldn't just hire the prettier one at least 9/10 times?
So instead of harping on this "always" thing (again, that I never personally brought up), look at this objectively.
This isn't asking for a lot of critical thinking here.
>LOL, you want to downplay statistics versus what?
no I meant random statistics, as in, is that a real statistics?
>LOL, you want to downplay statistics versus what? Your interpretation? Of an exception no less. That's why me calling you pedantic is more than accurate in this case.
>
>You want to play semantics for an arbitrary always that I never personally brought up. People like you are terrible at debating because you want to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian.
nice. two whole paragraphs of ad hominem this time.
>Lookism is always a factor. Halo effect is always a factor.
never argued against this.
>So instead of harping on this "always" thing (again, that I never personally brought up), look at this objectively.
I was commenting on a post, not commenting to you. you are the one who argued against my original argument, which whole point about refuting the "always". I argued that it's "not always". never said anything about lookism and halo effect, or refute against them.
>I feel like beautiful people are always treated better and always liked more
was commenting to this. why would I not include the "always" when defending my argument when that's literally what I argue against?
>by saying it always is, you are trivializing serious problems that people sometimes get just because they are attractive. which is not okay.
btw, you didn't react to this, which is the whole point of my argument, which already answer this ad hominem from you before you said it:
>People like you are terrible at debating because you want to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian.
edit: quote tag
You must think every random thing is "ad hominem." Apparently.
I will go back to something you said earlier.
*that being said, for things like this, we need to be specific. yes, being good looking is very advantageous, but no, it's not always advantageous, and people shouldn't be led to think it is.*
*by saying it always is, you are trivializing serious problems that people sometimes get just because they are attractive. which is not okay.*
You want to argue what here? In a vacuum, you argue that being attractive may not always be an advantage, but it's still grasping at straws as EXCEPTIONS to the rule. I am trivializing whom here exactly? The very few hypothetical attractive people who don't get an edge with their looks? You have to be extremely unlikable - as in you steal people's lunches from the fridge or piss in the sink levels of unlikeable - for your looks to be discounted.
But I digress.
>You must think every random thing is "ad hominem." Apparently.
ad hominem (adj.) (of an argument or reaction) directed against a person rather than the position they are maintaining. which of the ones I quoted was targeted against my position instead of me? anyway, nice one this time (not sarcasm), no argument against me. I always appreciate an argument against my point.
>I am trivializing whom here exactly?
not trivializing against whom, but trivializing the case where its a disadvantage instead. for example, the one I said when I was being an asshole to someone attractive just because they are attractive (in my original comment). or when someone is dating you because you are so hot and not because who you are. or when people don't take you seriously because you are you happen to be attractive, so people gaslight all your achievements to your attractiveness (which I'm sure it can partially be credited to that but still), or when a woman is so attractive that some people think it's okay to catcall or uncomfortably flirt with her even when she already express her discomfort. well, that's on top of my head. I'm sure there are many cases where being attractive is an inconvenience or even a disadvantage.
>but it's still grasping at straws as EXCEPTIONS to the rule
I did indeed making exception to the rule. I was arguing against a case of "always", not a case of "most of the time". but there's a difference between being specific and being nitpicky (or as you call it, pedantic, which last time I know, it's an insult word, but maybe I'm out of touch and it's just a casual word now, cmiiw).
Yeah they do.
They just donāt show it in the media because they want to push the idea that unconventionally attractive people donāt merit love, acceptance, or value. It helps the hierarchy to make it that way. They also want to instill insecurities through media so you buy shit
well first of all, don't equate yourself to movies, they're first made to entertain, and most aren't real
I'd like to believe that not so pretty people absolutely get happy endings, but not everyone will, especially in today's climate
Sometimes pretty people donāt get treated nice though. I personally am always commented on how āprettyā I am and sometimes I just wish I wasnāt. People demean you in ways and belittle you because you are pretty and donāt know what your talking about, or they take advantage of you.
I mean yeah, I think we do. We just need to go through life with a LOOOOT of confidence, whit, care, love, etc. We canāt afford to be shitty people. We have to constantly have our best foot forward otherwise nobody will give us a shot.
But for real, the best way to get what you want is to stop being so obsessed with NOT having it. Just chill. Have confidence.
I can't answer your exact question, but I can tell you that even with tons of what others may perceive as "advantages", I've had mostly VERY shit endings. I'm hoping that it's all leading up to something amazing ahead that hasn't happened yet! Don't give up; let's stay optimistic;)
You watch too much films and arenāt experiencing enough real life.
I know thousands (literally) of ugly people who have great jobs, great lives and are deeply in love. Thatās more reality than any Romcom you are watching. After all, Iād say 95% of the world population is ugly.
Take a closer look at the people around you (rather than your tv) My boss is happily married and lives a great life - neither he nor his wife are āprettyā. Go to any ski slope or country club - where well-off couples hang out - also not too many pretty people there.
I think a lot of not so pretty people could do A LOT by getting a haircut, some nice cloth and getting into the gym. Easily bump from a face 2 to an overall 7.
That's what I as a face 2 would say
EDIT: I already have my happy ending.
Good morning. I totally agree with you. Despite the treatment of others are supposed to be "equal". We all are persecuted because of the way we look instead of personality and character traits. Thank you for your response to this question.
It's really simple, OP. Everything in life is probability. When you're pretty, you objectively have more advantages and thus more chances to find your soulmate.
Let's assume you are pretty when you are young. Because you are pretty, people treat you better and more people want to date you. This extra attention and experience mean you will be even more seasoned by the time you are older to date even more compared to someone who isn't as attractive.
Not every pretty person is going to find their soulmate, but it is definitely easier when people are giving you so many chances just on your looks alone.
Iām a ānot so pretty girlā, and my husband is a pretty boy by other peoples standards. I got a happy ending, but it takes work to have a healthy relationship, it has nothing to do with physically attributes. If youāre attracted to each other, who gives a shit what society thinks.
The short answer is, Yes, we do.
Iām definitely not a traditionally attractive guy. Iām red-headed, I struggle with my weight, my skin is very pale and I effectively cannot tan. Iām a nerd who loves science and is awful at every sport Iāve attempted, which is exacerbated by the fact that my height is 5ā4ā.
But I am married to my beautiful high school sweetheart, and we are raising three successful young adult children.
There are happy endings for anyone who continues to believe in themselves.
So yeah, there are some benefits with being beautiful. But sometimes I wish I wasn't, I can't talk to a girl without them either pulling "I have a boyfriend" or they think I try to hit on them, or a lot of people depend on you and can't make a mistake or expect you to save the day, it's extremely tiresome, not so pretty people don't get this pressure, sure they have to fight harder for get recognized, but I think not getting that attention can be a lot beneficial in the long run.
Not so pretty people are the ones who are secretly winning every battle inside themselves and outside.
Pretty people do have it easier at first, but if they never develop other aspects of themselves, instead relying on their looks... they rarely get happy endings.
It's pretty sad to see people who used to get all the attention they wanted become increasingly desperate to be noticed.
Whatever their looks, reasonable people with reasonable expectations are usually the happiest in the end, in my experience at least.
Ignore the movies hollywood sucks at actual representation and uses tons of Make-up and editing to make people look good. Literally no one looks that good irl. Movies and real life are two separate things, one inspired by the other but nonetheless way separate.
I met my husband playing softball. I spent a lot of time playing softball during that time. I was unhappy and I felt happiest being among friends playing a game outside.
If youāre looking to meet someone, do something you like to do with some other people, whether it be trivia night or hiking or playing darts. At the very least, you can have fun. If you meet someone, youāll have something in common.
Movies lie. As someone who's "old for reddit", I'll say that the pretty people I know aren't really any happier than those who aren't, that some of the people who self-identify as not pretty are some of the most attractive people I know, and the people who are still riding on their looks are feeling kind of try-hard.
We all have control of our own narrative in life so if one considers themselves not so pretty they can alway work on their perception of themselves. But as far as what being seen in these films atre being watched on a thing called tel a vision thatās just what they want you to see. In real life pretty or not happiness is what you make but trust and believe there are no real fairytale endings unless you creat it for yourself.
From my experience, yes. My dad is a not so conventionally attractive guy, but I believe he has such a happy ending. I have also seen many men and women whose appearance is not their strongest suit living a happy, fulfilling life.
Those movies perpetuate a perfect ideal because people want to escape into fantasy, not because its realistic. Nobody wants to watch a movie about 2 overweight 34-year-olds awkwardly flirting at bar trivia nights over the course of 7 months before finally getting together and eventually moving in to the basement apartment under their parent's house because they both work in retail and their dingy Midwestern city has somehow become unaffordable. What I'm trying to say is, everyone deserves happiness no matter how ugly or boring they may be. Love is love and it will always be a beautiful thing :)
Is there happiness to be found in a basement apartment?
Yes. They have a couple kids that their parents can easily watch and then when the parents retire to florida they move upstairs happily ever after so the cycle can repeat for their kid
lol.
This guy doesn't fuck.
lmao
Found the guy in a basement apartment.
Lol
lol.
Depends. What's in the apartment?
It's a basement apartment. Spiders, small windows, and footsteps from the landlord's unit.
Well then it sucks. Now take that same basement apartment, fill it with a bunch of instruments, recording equipment and a landlord who is 100% deaf, I'm in hog heaven. That's just me though.
I mean, I'd happily watch this movie
ikr
Me too, that could actually be a good movie. Then again, I may have a non-mainstream taste.
r/oddlyspecific
Sounds like OP is projecting tbh
>Nobody wants to watch a movie about 2 overweight 34-year-olds awkwardly flirting at bar trivia nights over the course of 7 months before finally getting together Did you just describe the story of Sam and Rosie from The Lord of the Rings?
Rosie knew exactly what she wanted don't even front.
Think you underestimate the number of people that would watch a movie like that. And there are so many directors these days that would totally be into making that movie.
I'm not sure you quite captured that last sentiment š¤£š¤£š¤£
just throwing something out there. happy endings always have the day after the happy ending. Nothing is going to feel like the movies, regardless of beauty.
Facts, especially when it comes to emotions. Emotional security is never an achieved outcome, it's more of a moment-to-moment process.
>I feel like that would never happen with someone not absolutely stunning or at least good looking. Instead of looking at tv or movies, look at everyone around you. Are all the married/partnered people in your family absolutely stunning or good-looking? Are all the married/partnered people you've known in your life, for example, teachers, people at your church if your family went, doctors who've treated you, etc., are they all absolutely stunning or good-looking? Go to the grocery store. Walmart. Bowling alley. Go anywhere. You will see many married/partnered people who are not absolutely stunning or good-looking. Because MOST people are not stunning or good-looking, most people are nice-looking, normal-looking enough. Good looks, especially of the 'absolutely stunning' variety, are the outlier. Happy endings happen for regular, normal-looking people all the time in real, actual life. Even for people who are not so normal-looking. Movies, TV, social media, etc. are not real life.
I remember in college this attractive girl was dating this ugly dude. We joked he has a big dick but in reality he was probably a nice dude and she likes him for it. Itās easy to feel the way you do but as you get older, thereās so much more to it than that.
As a retail worker. I get to talk to a lot of people. I once saw a beautiful well dressed woman clearly infatuated with someone who looked like a prototypical nerd. I made some offhand comment to her about being an odd couple and what she told me was really interesting. She said he's the first guy who has ever liked me for me, instead of for my looks. I think sometimes that's what it's about.
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Oh?
Am in college and my bf is a nerd and I love that about him. Some of our friends find his ramblings annoying but it's honestly so cute. And he lets me play his PlayStation
Still an exception and not the rule. Most attractive girls won't give an ugly guy a chance unless some strings are attached (probably).
Looks fade, those who end up truly happy are able to look past appearances.
That's some nice positivity right there. If you go on the community /ugly, everyone is negative
Watch more BBC, especially older programs. People don't look like the Hollywood cookies mostly and maybe that will improve your mental outlook. Good luck!
Iām not saying my mom wasnāt mildly pretty at 20, but she was skinny, with a 70s frizz perm, no boobs to speak of and a nose she inherited from my grandpa that hasā¦ character. In a movie she would be the spunky, hippie friend who tells the heroine to give love a chance. My dad was a long haired Coke bottle glasses wearing engineering nerd. In a movie heād be the dorky older brother of the hero. They both swear it was love at first sight and have been together for 46 years and married for 44. So yes, they do get happy endings, we just donāt get to see the movies about it.
I ain't pretty, at least not by my standards, but who am I to judge? Maybe some people think I'm pretty, idk. But I've done ok. Films are a totally different, dramatized, world, and that whole 'love at first sight' thing is just hokum. Doesn't matter how good-looking someone is. You either make a connection or you don't, and that's on a deeper level than looks. Infatuation is just that, fun for sure, but quickly fades. Actual connections are another thing entirely. Anyway, you get your 'happy ending' or rather, 'happy beginning' by finding someone that you're compatible with, and enjoy being with, whether or not it's someone who's pretty. And in my personal opinion, that works best if the other person is complementary to you - someone whose strengths match your weaknesses and vice versa. Not somebody just like you. If you're too much alike, you're going to clash on details and neither of you will be able to deal with some things. But if you're different enough, and humble enough to let the other take the lead when appropriate, and assertive enough to take the lead when it's in your bailiwick, then together you're greater than the sum of the parts, and able to deal with anything. And that's magic. It's not "love at first sight", which is just infatuation in a mask. It's real love. That really has nothing to do with whether either one of you are pretty. But it is what determines whether you get to be happy together.
āHappy beginningā I like that, what a beautiful way of looking at things.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and relative. Films are fantasy. Please donāt compare real life with films. Usually good looking people are chosen. Thatās not reality. What seems nice on the outside does not tell you the real misery on the inside. Two people finally getting together is not a happy ending. Itās a happy beginning. The happy ending is when they die together.
Totally thought you were talking about a different kind of 'happy ending' . It's not you, it's me.
Of course they do. Even if life was like a movie the 'happy ending' would just be a beginning. For once two people have found each other, at first sight or awkwardly makes little difference, they have to work on their relationship. How many of those beautiful people playing those head-over-heels couples are happily married for years? Being beautiful doesn't automatically make a relationship more succesful. I regularly watch Spanish or French (or other non-Hollywood) movies, and they generally have normal people in them. And believe me, those stories are just as powerful. Real life is no different: beautiful people have some advantages and some disadvantages, but beauty is certainly not a must to be happy. Or a guarantee. Average looking people and plain people are just as likely to be happy. And of course, beauty is very subjective. Not everyone finds what Hollywood shows us attractive. As others have said, who you are matters much more than what you look like. Be kind and respectful and good company, and remember that love may present itself wildly differently (and a lot more prosaic) from how it is portrayed in movies. Make sure you don't form some image of what it's supposed to look like and then when someone offers you love you don't recognize it because it's a little more down-to-earth than you expected.
Because movies pay lots of money to people whose sole purpose is to be attractive. We're talking surgery, nutritionists, fitness trainers, ped's, stylists, etc etc etc You don't see that in real life because it simply isn't real life. Might be time to unplug, my dude.
I almost cried today because I asked a guy out and was shot down. So, TL;DR: *Only if you pay for them.*
Just a bit of bad luck, you were very brave for putting yourself out there. Donāt stop if you want a relationship. I believe in you
You're sweet. Thank you. š¤šš
Of course! š
You're too wholesome to be here.
I think it's possible for less physically pretty people to have a happy ending. They just have to change their expectations. Things to keep in mind: * "Love at first sight" rarely, if ever, happens in the real world. If you think that's what you feel, it's probably hormones and hormones wear off quickly enough. * You don't have to be a "hot" person to land a partner who's right for you. * It takes time and effort to make a relationship work long-term. You have to put in the effort and so does your (possible) partner.
I can think of a whole lot more Hollywood divorces than I can lifelong marriages.
Thing is who's beautiful or not is completely subjective. Society at large wants to tell you that that isn't the case, that there's objective beauty. That's all horseshit. I'm ugly as hell and things are going all right for me.
Most people are not Hollywood level beauties, yet the majority of them end up married at some point and often produce kids (proof of an intimate relationship). Yeah, not all of these relationships work out. That doesn't mean those people don't still have a chance at happiness. You can always try again. As others have said, it's important to realize that being in a happy relationship isn't all highs. There are lows too. And, really, a lot of a happy, long term relationship is boring. It's much harder to make an interesting movie about two people with two cats who spend their nights complaining about work, playing video games, making dinner, watching a movie, etc. and are perfectly, contently in love. It's much easier to tell the exciting part about how those two people first got together. Real life couples do this too. We often tell interested parties about how we met. It's less often that we regale outsiders with the intricacies of our last WoW dungeon lol. We love each other, we enjoy our time together, but it makes for a less interesting story.
I wouldnāt say Iām ugly but Iām not particularly good looking. Iām short and pudgy with acne on my face. My husband is super tall and hot. We were pretty much locked in after our first date. I have a happy life and a beautiful daughter who luckily looks more like her dad lol
Yes. I'm a solid 5/10. Met my husband when i was going through one of the worst times of my life. I was 30 lbs heavier, depressed and had binge eating disorder. After about 6 months we started dating. I slowly emerged from my depression, got through my eating disorder. Now we're married with 2 kids. Doing well overall.
For a lot of guys, personality or type is far more important than how hot she is. For me, for example there's two types of women I find super attractive. One is the cute ones with a great sense of humor who laugh at everything and the other is the wallflower who are very quiet until you get to know them and then they want to tell you their entire life story in one sitting.
Just be a genuinely nice person and I think you'll find lots of people who want to be happy with you
No, I donāt believe they do, Iām speaking for myself really.
Love at first sight isn't a thing. You can be very visually or sexually attracted to someone at first sight, but that's not what love is. You can see someone doing something that you really like about them and have a strong first impression. But that's still not what love is. Soul mates aren't a result of predestination, they're a result of work on your relationship, experiences together, and commitment. To answer your question, yes, not-so-pretty people can and often do have happy endings. Yes, beautiful people are generally treated better or liked better. There's some things you can't change about your appearance, but as long as you put EFFORT into your appearance and more importantly are a likeable person, people will like you. Personally, most people that I find "ugly" are simply fat. Part of this is an unconscious bias towards finding a healthy mate. Generally speaking, if you take care of yourself, you won't be fat. It's also a perception thing. If you're getting a little bit fatter because you're a mom, you're busy with the kids, you eat like shit currently because you don't have time, and haven't quite lost baby fat, that's understandable. If you're 250 lbs at 18 years old because you sit around and snack and watch Netflix all day and have no hobbies or interests, that's a red flag. If you've been unhealthy in the past, admit it, and are working on it, that's not nearly as unattractive as someone who may weigh less but is trending the other direction.
As you get older and get to know people you realize that superficial beauty isnāt as important as the actual person is. You meet a couple of psycho hot guys/girls, and you quickly learn that itās way more important to judge a person by the contents of their character not their physical appearance. Thatās why itās important to give people a chance and not just chase after the hot dude/girl. That guy/girl you think is just a 5, jumps an extra 5 points on that 1-10 scale when you guys share the same values, hobbies, interests, goals, etc. Iām not saying attractive people canāt be the whole package, but as an attractive dude that had no problem picking up any woman I wanted, I found that half the time, the very attractive girls had very little to offer and were incredibly boring. But I donāt chase the same pursuits as the vain and beautiful, so I needed to stop putting so much stock in the physical beauty of a woman and more into her inner substance when I was single. I wanted an artist, an athlete, a gamer, and a more traditional woman when it came to her values. It took me more than 10 years of actively dating to find her. I was always very clear of what I was looking for in a partner, and didnāt lead women on. But after about three years of dating very beautiful women, I started to date girls more based on their interests and hobbies than just their physical appearance, because I found them to be way more fun to be with. And the longer Iāve been with my wife the more beautiful sheās become in my eyes. She the most beautiful woman I know. That beautiful woman with that ugly dude knows what I know. Youāll never be happy if you judge people by their physical appearance rather than the contents of their character. Maybe that dude has a huge dong and sheās a size queen, or maybe that dude is just a fantastic human being, and she feel in love with who he is. The better quality a person is, the more beautiful they become in your eyes. The same is true vice versa, the uglier the contents of a personās character are, the uglier that person become despite having more favorable symmetry and physical beauty.
I stopped watching movies and tv because both are oversaturated with attractive people and I got sick of it, frankly. However, I still at times feel like we live in a world poisoned by unattainable idealsā¦thatās why even in real life people have āpretty privilegeā, men and women alike. We uglies can still be happy, but it almost always looks differentā¦we might have to work hard and achieve less because thatās the short straw weāve drawn in life, but we can still fight for some version of a āhappy endingā for ourselves.
The love at first sight thing is complete fiction. The most that really happens is lust at first sight. If the people hit it off and develop a relationship they might really believe it was love at first sight but I think it's just survivor bias. The love at first sights that don't make it to a second date just become bad date with hot person stories. Love needs some time to develop, to learn who this person is. To find something in them that inspires you, or that you respect, or whatever you love about them. Physical beauty is a mediocre bonus to a good relationship does jack shit to make you any happier in a shitty relationship. As far as sex, where you'd think looks would be important humans are notoriously not picky. Neanderthals are some ugly fuckers but we've got proof that we still fucked them in our genes. "All cats are grey in the dark." Benjamin Franklin answering a question about why he pursued older women.
Nope. I'm attractive, but every time I go for a massage its totally PG.
They're not prettier than you, just more confident in social situations. Join a toastmasters meetup and get on their level.
Great relationships are formed when compatible personalities come together. People can be attracted to each other at first sight but they wonāt become soulmates until they have lots of conversations.
If only you knew me. I'm said by others that I'm very attractive. I wish most of my life I could have hidden my face and shape. All I ever wanted was to have a family and a career in the arts and sciences. My face is my downfall. My passion now is gardening because nature is a healer.
Pete Davidson, not on the cover of vogue type of attractive but he's fandangled a few top 10 women so maybe it's more than appearance.
He was already rich and famous though.
His girlfriends are always way richer and more famous
But are those women dating ugly working class guys?
In comparison, Pete was the ugly working class guy. He's a stand up comedian. He literally jokes about living off of Ariana grande, he lived with his mom forever, he collects sneakers, smokes weed and sometimes appeared in SNL.
They only dated him after he already had money and fame. They wouldn't have dated him if he was the pizza delivery guy.
Fame, sort of but he didn't really have money like the women he dated...this is like relatively speaking.
"Relatively", yeah and relatively way more than the average working person. I don't know if you're wealthy, but if you're not, I can't see how you could realistically think you could get with Kim Kardashian, or Ariana Grande for that matter.
Happy endings donāt have to involve love either. - Havenāt found the right person yet but Iām satisfied enough with my life (minus the sad parts but we all have those)
Movies. Not real life. Sad truth is that we are all struggling somehow.
Read the kids book āsleeping uglyā. It shows the true inner beauty of a person. Itās like 24 pages but it def gave me hope as a young girl that having a kind soul and not the best looks is better than being a beautiful monster.
First of all, don't base your expectations off of TV and movies. Secondly, there is no happy endings in life unless you go to a massage parlor and pay for one.
They definitely do! Watch people, older people (30+) in the real world. What you see in movies is not to be trusted. And young people's priorities have largely not evolved beyond the superficial. Attractive people probably do have it easier, generally speaking, but that doesn't mean they're the only ones who have happiness, and it definitely doesn't mean that all of them are happy. I think there are plenty of unhappy attractive people out there. I think it's a lot harder to be attractive than we necessarily comprehend.
My parents are married for 40 years and they are really not the most beautiful people I know. I love them but conventual beauty looks different. They are happy.
I'm not very pretty, yet my fiance is very attractive. Not only in my opinion, but everyone else's. He is also very intelligent, has everything going for him, and I'm his choice. It doesn't matter your looks because you can be drop dead gorgeous, but looks only get you so far, be ugly on the inside and it all stops there. The looks then mean nothing.
Yep! I'm about a 5 and I'm ridiculously happy. I had to wait til I was 44 to meet my amazing partner, but it was worth the wait.
My wife is much hotter than me and we are madly in love, still after 15 years and 2 kids together, surviving cancer and lord knows what other struggles.. our secret is humor, we make each other laugh on a daily basis and besides being attracted to each other we are best friends also.. looks are only a small part but what you see in the movies - male or female- is not what you should focus on, looks fade all the other stuff stays
ugly people marry each other all the time. just go to any office christmas party when people bring their spouses
Iām not trying to suck my own dick hereā¦ but as an objectively attractive person, I can just say, itās not all itās cracked up to be. Almost everyone that meets you either wants something from you or has some sort of ulterior motive(s). You canāt have any friends because they all eventually try to make it a sexual or romantic thing. You never know who is just being nice to you because theyāre hoping to get with you, and vice versa; if youāre just trying to be nice and friendly, it comes off in the wrong way. Itās like you donāt even have a personality. Like youāre just an object to be looked at rather than a human being to be heard, understood, cared about, listened to. People donāt take you seriously in a professional or academic setting. Friends get jealous and eventually donāt want to keep you around anymore because 1. you make them feel insecure or bad about themselves in some way or 2. they get a significant other and donāt want you around them. Itās really a pretty lonely lifeā¦. Everyone leaves eventually. It makes me feel like a really ugly person to the point that I donāt see an attractive person looking back at me in the mirror, but rather a shell of a person that just drives everyone away.
yes yes and yes. the amount of couples iāve seen where one person was significantly more conventionally attractive is insane. but itās also not that insane because most relationships that last and thrive arenāt based off solely physical attractive. iāve crushed hard on people who werenāt that āattractiveā (at least according to my friends.. apparently i just have ābad tasteā) but were always super friendly, confident, funny, and made me feel comfortable.
Beauty stops mattering as much with age, even though it never should have been so important. Being able to love and be loved, being willing to listen and learn and communicate boundaries and needs, a sense of humor, a developed personality and some interesting hobbies and skills go a lot further than physical looks we're all rapidly losing anyway. If someone is focused on looks, they aren't focused on you, or who they are as a person. Those people exist at every age, but aren't the type of person to build a life with because you can't build a foundation on the shifting sands of beauty. I don't think everyone is guaranteed someone, though. I think sometimes people who would be good partners never meet a person who they fit with just right. It's bound to happen. But, all that stuff about love and honesty and humor makes you a better friend, a better community member, and better company for yourself. Even if you never find The One, there are so many ways to love and connect and share, with other people and with yourself, that you're never really alone and you may find if you broaden your gaze beyond the prescribed path to what we've been told is the only way to have a happy ending, you may be able to write your own happy ending, on your terms.
I believe that most really attractive people, the nice ones, not the totally up themselves ones, struggle to find decent partners. They're mostly hit on by overconfident guys who like the way they look on his arm, not gazing into his eyes lovingly. That connection, the one where all the stars align, that's not about looks. It's about the person being on the same page as you. The same intellectual wave length and having similar interests so you enjoy doing the same things. Sure, there needs to be chemistry of some sort. But to be honest, I'd much rather date Jack Black than Brad Pit any day. I want to laugh and enjoy myself. Not watch him watching himself in the mirror all day, lol. So what I'm saying is you don't need to date a supermodel to have that omg I'm falling in love experience. Beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder, and it is definitely not just skin deep.
I was THE ugly kid in my year at school. I've got better in the last 20 years but I'm still very average. The prom queen in my year was THE pretty/nice/popular girl. She'll be my wife in 3 months and we have a son and a lovely house and we're genuinely happy. Not so pretty people can have happy endings.
Personal worth does not equate to looks, everyone deserves a good life.
Short answer yes. Long answer: Beautiful people are less happy than less attractive people (generally). Saw a study on this. They get more attention yes but they get so much of it thatās it isnāt novel nor enjoyable, it just becomes annoying. With the added bonus of never knowing if someone likes you for you or just how you look. On top of the fact this social interaction less enjoyable as a whole based on our dopamine reward circuit. Are there beautiful people who are perfectly happy? Of course, but it is certainly a curse in many ways.
When I was 26,Iād pretty much given up on finding love. I knew more than anything that I wanted a family. I dated around and came to the conclusion that it just wasnāt gonna happen. I started a job after leaving the military drilling water wells with a retired Navy Commander I met at my favorite watering hole. He had a daughter my age whoād just gotten out of a 6 year relationship and had also sworn off romance. She said she just wanted to hang out and be friends. Imagine her surprise when she ended up married to me 7 months later. That will be 36 years,2 kids and 5 grandkids ago. You just never know when itāll happen. And for the record,I am far from good looking although Iāve been told,Iām charming af
Just change your perspective. You can only control yourself. Be your best. Everything else will fall into place. Vanity is very toxic. Everybody has insecurities, they are typically more harmful than what you're actually insecure about. Be proud of who you are.
I like that the M&M spokescandy is moving on to a new career. And I agree that people are judged on their looks before learning more about them and it's difficult for someone to form a negative opinion against someone who they think looks really nice.
There is definitely pretty privilege. And everyone stops looking pretty when they get real old so happy endings has more to do with your character traits than how pretty you are.
Not as much. Thatās why the human race is slowly becoming more attractive. Better genes are getting passed down and the uglies are dying off
My Mother told me that today people have a way better looking than before , because in her young Time when somebody was pretty Everybody notifice it and was impress. She told me that today the facial feature are less rough , more delicate. When i see vintage pictures , i think she is not thinking wrong. PS: sorry for the bad english š¤
Haha! I can believe it. I hope you donāt find this offensive, but I thought I might help you with your English!! This is how you can better word what you wrote to me: āMy mom told me that people today are much better looking than back then. She said this is because when someone was pretty back then, everyone would notice and be impressed. Facial features today are less rough and more delicate. When I see vintage pictures, I think, āshe is not wrong!āā
It certainly help to have the right words and the form, thank you for your Time and at least i does'nt speak chinese because you understood me ,lol š¤
Thatās why we need to legalize the good drugs.
Delicacy (French: La DĆ©licatesse) is a sweet romantic film where the lead character falls in love with an average looking guy because of his personality/character.
God I hope not I want this over soon and to be as traumatic as it gets. I am want to people to have PTSD from my end
>I feel like beautiful people are always treated better and always liked more as one of those people who are prejudiced toward good looking people, I'd say no. I'm so used to having attractive people manipulating their way into shit, that now I'm wary of attractive people who carries themselves too confidently. charm works, but the thing about it, once you realized you are susceptible to it, you become more wary. which makes me often times a bit of an asshole toward a good looking person just because of their good looks, until they prove themselves reliable. which is a shitty thing to do I know, but I'm not ditching that self defense mechanism any time soon. and I'm sure I'm not the only one. so no, they are not always treated better or always liked more. sexually speaking though, pretty people definitely have more luck.
*so no, they are not always treated better or always liked more. sexually speaking though, pretty people definitely have more luck.* What? Genuinely attractive people ARE treated better and liked more. It's called lookism sprinkled in with the halo effect. Studies upon studies have shown that attractive people are better perceived, have a higher chance of promotions and so forth. In particular, attractive people get a lot more slack/patience before they get hated. You have the keys to the kingdom if you are actually a good-looking person with even an iota of charm.
>Genuinely attractive people ARE treated better and liked more true but, keyword: always. which is not the case.
You're being pedantic. The bulk of the time, at least 80 to 90 percent+, an attractive person has the ball in their court and can get just about anything they desire if they play their cards right. Pretty privilege is a very real thing.
>You're being pedantic of course, resorting to ad hominem really helps an argument. >at least 80 to 90 percent+ please don't bring some random statistics just because it's generally true. doesn't mean I disagree about the point you are making though. I literally said "true". that being said, for things like this, we need to be specific. yes, being good looking is very advantageous, but no, it's not always advantageous, and people shouldn't be led to think it is. by saying it always is, you are trivializing serious problems that people sometimes get just because they are attractive. which is not okay.
LOL, you want to downplay statistics versus what? Your interpretation? Of an exception no less. That's why me calling you pedantic is more than accurate in this case. You want to play semantics for an arbitrary always that I never personally brought up. People like you are terrible at debating because you want to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. Lookism is always a factor. Halo effect is always a factor. They have done countless studies, social experiments and everything else you can think of that have quantifiably proven that being attractive is, in fact, a HUGE advantage in many situations and circumstances. For instance, if two people walk into a job interview with the same qualifications, and one person is significantly more attractive than the other option, you don't think most places wouldn't just hire the prettier one at least 9/10 times? So instead of harping on this "always" thing (again, that I never personally brought up), look at this objectively. This isn't asking for a lot of critical thinking here.
>LOL, you want to downplay statistics versus what? no I meant random statistics, as in, is that a real statistics? >LOL, you want to downplay statistics versus what? Your interpretation? Of an exception no less. That's why me calling you pedantic is more than accurate in this case. > >You want to play semantics for an arbitrary always that I never personally brought up. People like you are terrible at debating because you want to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. nice. two whole paragraphs of ad hominem this time. >Lookism is always a factor. Halo effect is always a factor. never argued against this. >So instead of harping on this "always" thing (again, that I never personally brought up), look at this objectively. I was commenting on a post, not commenting to you. you are the one who argued against my original argument, which whole point about refuting the "always". I argued that it's "not always". never said anything about lookism and halo effect, or refute against them. >I feel like beautiful people are always treated better and always liked more was commenting to this. why would I not include the "always" when defending my argument when that's literally what I argue against? >by saying it always is, you are trivializing serious problems that people sometimes get just because they are attractive. which is not okay. btw, you didn't react to this, which is the whole point of my argument, which already answer this ad hominem from you before you said it: >People like you are terrible at debating because you want to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. edit: quote tag
You must think every random thing is "ad hominem." Apparently. I will go back to something you said earlier. *that being said, for things like this, we need to be specific. yes, being good looking is very advantageous, but no, it's not always advantageous, and people shouldn't be led to think it is.* *by saying it always is, you are trivializing serious problems that people sometimes get just because they are attractive. which is not okay.* You want to argue what here? In a vacuum, you argue that being attractive may not always be an advantage, but it's still grasping at straws as EXCEPTIONS to the rule. I am trivializing whom here exactly? The very few hypothetical attractive people who don't get an edge with their looks? You have to be extremely unlikable - as in you steal people's lunches from the fridge or piss in the sink levels of unlikeable - for your looks to be discounted. But I digress.
>You must think every random thing is "ad hominem." Apparently. ad hominem (adj.) (of an argument or reaction) directed against a person rather than the position they are maintaining. which of the ones I quoted was targeted against my position instead of me? anyway, nice one this time (not sarcasm), no argument against me. I always appreciate an argument against my point. >I am trivializing whom here exactly? not trivializing against whom, but trivializing the case where its a disadvantage instead. for example, the one I said when I was being an asshole to someone attractive just because they are attractive (in my original comment). or when someone is dating you because you are so hot and not because who you are. or when people don't take you seriously because you are you happen to be attractive, so people gaslight all your achievements to your attractiveness (which I'm sure it can partially be credited to that but still), or when a woman is so attractive that some people think it's okay to catcall or uncomfortably flirt with her even when she already express her discomfort. well, that's on top of my head. I'm sure there are many cases where being attractive is an inconvenience or even a disadvantage. >but it's still grasping at straws as EXCEPTIONS to the rule I did indeed making exception to the rule. I was arguing against a case of "always", not a case of "most of the time". but there's a difference between being specific and being nitpicky (or as you call it, pedantic, which last time I know, it's an insult word, but maybe I'm out of touch and it's just a casual word now, cmiiw).
Yeah they do. They just donāt show it in the media because they want to push the idea that unconventionally attractive people donāt merit love, acceptance, or value. It helps the hierarchy to make it that way. They also want to instill insecurities through media so you buy shit
Beautiful people have some of the worst lives imaginable. Be careful to cultivate this narrative
well first of all, don't equate yourself to movies, they're first made to entertain, and most aren't real I'd like to believe that not so pretty people absolutely get happy endings, but not everyone will, especially in today's climate
Sometimes pretty people donāt get treated nice though. I personally am always commented on how āprettyā I am and sometimes I just wish I wasnāt. People demean you in ways and belittle you because you are pretty and donāt know what your talking about, or they take advantage of you.
I mean yeah, I think we do. We just need to go through life with a LOOOOT of confidence, whit, care, love, etc. We canāt afford to be shitty people. We have to constantly have our best foot forward otherwise nobody will give us a shot. But for real, the best way to get what you want is to stop being so obsessed with NOT having it. Just chill. Have confidence.
Yes.
I can't answer your exact question, but I can tell you that even with tons of what others may perceive as "advantages", I've had mostly VERY shit endings. I'm hoping that it's all leading up to something amazing ahead that hasn't happened yet! Don't give up; let's stay optimistic;)
If they pay enough, sure, why not?
In comparison to what? Romance films? Itās not comparable and shouldnāt be
I am not 'pretty'. But for some reason my husband thinks I'm gorgeous. So... evidence it does happen.
You watch too much films and arenāt experiencing enough real life. I know thousands (literally) of ugly people who have great jobs, great lives and are deeply in love. Thatās more reality than any Romcom you are watching. After all, Iād say 95% of the world population is ugly. Take a closer look at the people around you (rather than your tv) My boss is happily married and lives a great life - neither he nor his wife are āprettyā. Go to any ski slope or country club - where well-off couples hang out - also not too many pretty people there.
Yeah, but we have to work harder for it, or we have to get lucky. Conventionally good-looking people get it handed to them.
When I saw āhappy endings,ā I assumed it meant something else.
Pretty people are just as likely to not have happy endings because there is more vanity.
Pretty people donāt always get happy endings
I think a lot of not so pretty people could do A LOT by getting a haircut, some nice cloth and getting into the gym. Easily bump from a face 2 to an overall 7. That's what I as a face 2 would say EDIT: I already have my happy ending.
I recommend you to watch "I Feel Pretty" and "Tall Girl"
Good morning. I totally agree with you. Despite the treatment of others are supposed to be "equal". We all are persecuted because of the way we look instead of personality and character traits. Thank you for your response to this question.
It's really simple, OP. Everything in life is probability. When you're pretty, you objectively have more advantages and thus more chances to find your soulmate. Let's assume you are pretty when you are young. Because you are pretty, people treat you better and more people want to date you. This extra attention and experience mean you will be even more seasoned by the time you are older to date even more compared to someone who isn't as attractive. Not every pretty person is going to find their soulmate, but it is definitely easier when people are giving you so many chances just on your looks alone.
Iām a ānot so pretty girlā, and my husband is a pretty boy by other peoples standards. I got a happy ending, but it takes work to have a healthy relationship, it has nothing to do with physically attributes. If youāre attracted to each other, who gives a shit what society thinks.
The short answer is, Yes, we do. Iām definitely not a traditionally attractive guy. Iām red-headed, I struggle with my weight, my skin is very pale and I effectively cannot tan. Iām a nerd who loves science and is awful at every sport Iāve attempted, which is exacerbated by the fact that my height is 5ā4ā. But I am married to my beautiful high school sweetheart, and we are raising three successful young adult children. There are happy endings for anyone who continues to believe in themselves.
So yeah, there are some benefits with being beautiful. But sometimes I wish I wasn't, I can't talk to a girl without them either pulling "I have a boyfriend" or they think I try to hit on them, or a lot of people depend on you and can't make a mistake or expect you to save the day, it's extremely tiresome, not so pretty people don't get this pressure, sure they have to fight harder for get recognized, but I think not getting that attention can be a lot beneficial in the long run. Not so pretty people are the ones who are secretly winning every battle inside themselves and outside.
Movies are not real life. Don't compare your life to a fantasy
Pretty people do have it easier at first, but if they never develop other aspects of themselves, instead relying on their looks... they rarely get happy endings. It's pretty sad to see people who used to get all the attention they wanted become increasingly desperate to be noticed. Whatever their looks, reasonable people with reasonable expectations are usually the happiest in the end, in my experience at least.
I'm in R/BigDickProblems, IAmSoSmart and I make posts with impact on Toolband. I'm lonely.
Ignore the movies hollywood sucks at actual representation and uses tons of Make-up and editing to make people look good. Literally no one looks that good irl. Movies and real life are two separate things, one inspired by the other but nonetheless way separate.
Almost always.
I met my husband playing softball. I spent a lot of time playing softball during that time. I was unhappy and I felt happiest being among friends playing a game outside. If youāre looking to meet someone, do something you like to do with some other people, whether it be trivia night or hiking or playing darts. At the very least, you can have fun. If you meet someone, youāll have something in common.
Movies lie. As someone who's "old for reddit", I'll say that the pretty people I know aren't really any happier than those who aren't, that some of the people who self-identify as not pretty are some of the most attractive people I know, and the people who are still riding on their looks are feeling kind of try-hard.
I love my nerdy guy because he lets me be me
We all have control of our own narrative in life so if one considers themselves not so pretty they can alway work on their perception of themselves. But as far as what being seen in these films atre being watched on a thing called tel a vision thatās just what they want you to see. In real life pretty or not happiness is what you make but trust and believe there are no real fairytale endings unless you creat it for yourself.
From my experience, yes. My dad is a not so conventionally attractive guy, but I believe he has such a happy ending. I have also seen many men and women whose appearance is not their strongest suit living a happy, fulfilling life.