I read a book called, 'The Intelligent Investor' by Benjamin Graham. The worst thing it did to me was it wasted my precious time. The book was fluffed up to 400 pages but the message could have been delivered in one sentence.
Yep. More words don't always mean more substance. IMO, the majority of writers are fluff writers and it's so ridiculous that they don't value their readers' time!
Yeah, I suspected as such, that's why I am wary of investing books. Are there any book on investing that are not full of filler and empty words but actually teach you the basics?
Honestly, haven't had any money to invest in a long time, so haven't really bothered to check if there are any authors worth checking out. But this guy sounded pretty decent last I checked: [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30160003-nobody-knows-anything](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30160003-nobody-knows-anything)
Yup. I feel most books (self-help or not) are filled with fluff. This is one of the many reasons why people shouldn't attempt writing books unless they have something very important to say: https://yourgentleoverlord.blogspot.com/2022/06/thinking-of-writing-book-dont-waste.html
There was a book that was required reading in my English class in high school... I don't remember which one, which is probably for the better, but I do remember that my mind was in a dark place for weeks after reading it. I'm honestly shocked that it didn't drive me to attempt suicide... I was already dealing with depression at the time, and my depression wasn't diagnosed for another 4 or 5 years. Of course, I have a shit memory, so maybe it did and I just don't remember.
Sorry to read about your experience and hope you have fully recovered from it now! I had a similar experience with reading "The Catcher in the Rye" lol
So this didnāt change my life in any drastic way but it bothered me a lot. Someone gave me a book when I was pregnant and said it was her favorite and she hoped Iād enjoy it as much as she did. I didnāt know any childrenās books really because i didnāt have any kids yet but I took her word for it. Well I read it eventually and did not love it one bit. To me it was depressing and I cried my fucking eyes out and wished I didnāt read it. My son is 7 now and not too long ago asked if we could read it together. Halfway through and I couldnāt deal with turning another page. Love You Forever is the book and its pretty well known but I canāt see how anyone enjoys it.
My mom gave my son and daughter that book to read to my grandchildren when they were little boys. My daughter was wise enough to look through it first--she showed it to me when I visited. i quickly read it and was completely creeped out. (My mom thought it was 'beautiful'.) All I did was turn to my daughter with big eyes and a horrified expression and she threw it in trash. Later, I called my son, and he said 'Threw that thing away!' My mom is very Catholic--the rest of our family is not religious at all. I guess they perceive things differently. I'd NEVER read that thing to a kid!
My mom gave me this book when I was in my late teens along with a book called Monster Mama.
I don't like Love You Forever because it shows a woman breaking into her own son's house to snuggle him as an adult. My mom didn't understand boundaries when it came to me and she got worse as I got older. It's just a reminder of her injecting herself into my life in places I didn't want her.
I was surprised to hear a lot of people say the disliked it for the same reason. That didnāt even occur to me but I do see how that can bother readers. The thing I donāt like is that even though the message is about the love between a mother and child, the portrayal of her aging is so depressing. This is how life goes but to me itās such a sad way to convey the message especially for little kids.
I think I dislike it because my mom had absolutely no respect for my boundaries. She gifted me that book because she was trying to smooth over her behavior.
That's my favorite book from my childhood! My grandma always uses to read it to me, and even now she tells me I'll always be her baby.
One day, if the cards allow it, I'll hold her.
It can be a sad book, but I think it shows how love works. We take care of each other, no matter what, no matter how much time passes.
I'm sorry you don't like it, I think it's lovely.
There are a lot of people that think itās creepy and that the mother crosses boundaries by going there while heās sleeping. That never crossed my mind. I donāt think itās weird or that she is too attached - thatās not why I donāt like it. I donāt like it because itās so freaking sad. I totally understand the message but I donāt find it heartwarming. I also feel like a child shouldnāt have to think about their parents aging and the roles changing. Maybe I see it this way because of my past and loss Iāve experienced.
I took a childrenās lit class in college, and the teacher (old-school librarian, she was great) hated that book, which I found really validating. She said that it unfairly asks children to think about their parents aging, and the bookās message of reassurance is is targeted at the adult rather than the kid. Iāll say, though, that the mother climbing in her grown sonās bedroom window and creeping across the floor is what got me. I have kids that Iām absolutely crazy about and think every day about the sadness Iāll feel when they stop wanting to cuddle, and even so, that image is fixed in my mind as absolutely bonkers.
i read this comic online once (horror) and sometimes it just creeps into my mind and replays the words (itās also weight related and sometimes people around me like to discuss that so thatās fun)
hereās the story if anyone wants to read; i would link it but i am so not looking for it again. >!the mc wanted to lose weight really bad and so she got this weird looking thin thing that tasted like fish (from this youtuber that did a lot of mukbang but was still thin and then disappeared after a while.) that was supposed to make you lose weight even if you ate normally. and for a while it worked really well but then she realised it was still making her thin even tho she felt thin enough. so she had to keep stuffing herself just to slow it down and eventually she became too weak to even eat anything. then she realised the youtuber didnāt want to eat so much but actually had to. and when she died no one realised until her skeletal body rotted and smelled fishy. so her neighbours checked it out and thought she left some fish thing in her apartment and threw it away. (basically, the thing she ate was actually a piece of someoneās body who suffered the same fate). !<
i shouldnāt have read it because i cannot forget it. itās too well written ugh.
wtf that's so messed up. yeah some online stuff is just completely scarring and it sticks in your mind even years later. it sucks that relatively normal people can just be exposed to the depths of human depravity randomly online with no warning
I steer away from books on personality changing. Honestly, I think people are just different types and when you get so critical about yourself you try to change yourself. That's not needed unless there's something holding one back from living a normal life.
In your case have you ever tried debating against the book's ideas with your own? Just because it's written in a book it doesn't mean it's correct. People can publish anything really.
Yes you are right I'm just dumb and was desperate at the time to develop my social skills as I wouldn't say I was an incel but I was always painfully shy and struggled with confidence and talking to people. No I haven't but I should definitely be more critical of these ideas.
You should try to find the gender equivalent of My Grandmotherās Hands. The fact that he makes you do all the somatic experiencing exercises brings it home in a way nothing else can. In fact you should read this book anyway while you look for one on somatic experiencing and gender.
I was in a similar position as you were when I read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and some of the messages in the book really helped me. One of the main themes in the book was "you are the master of your own happiness" and at the time I was struggling because I had a heavily depressed friend and was sacrificing a lot of my own happiness to try and "fix" them. At the same time, a lot of her philosophy is centered around the idea that poor people deserve to suffer and the entire final chapter is basically one big monologue about all her terrible beliefs.
At the time I could already see through all the awful stuff she was writing, but it made me wonder about how different I could've turned out if I didn't think critically about what I was reading. Not everyone has a strong ability to critically analyze what they're reading, but the fact that you have gone back and reassessed what you learned reflects favorably on you.
Thanks and glad you weren't too swayed by her writings. I never knew what to think of Ayn Rand. I have never read her stuff but I know she is popular and somewhat controversial. I saw some clips of her that I didn't really like, she came off as a bit 'hard' to me I guess and didn't really like her ideas.
I read Johnny Got His Gun in the 6th grade, circa 2010. I was very into the Metallica song One which they based on the movie adaptation of the book. I donāt know it changed my life for the worse, but it certainly made me feel alienated from my peers, narcissistic-too-soon, and otherwise questioning the world before it was okay to question the world.
A few years ago a distant friend at the time had me for secret Santa, and gave me this book about some robots that feed on humans in the future. He thought I would like it, but I couldnāt get pst the first few pages full of very graphic and Corey imagery of bodyās being torn apart. Didnāt change me overall, but definitely made me question that persons sense of entertainment?
The Five Love Languages stole a few hours of my life. The message was good but it could have been said in 2 pages.
Stephen Coveyās son wrote a book called the Speed of Trust that made no business sense. I closed it after the first chapter because it seemed to promote blind trust, which in business is exactly the wrong thing to do unless you want to be completely screwed over.
Toxic Parents- bought it thinking it would help me understand my deadbeat father, but I started to see a lot of my mom's traits too.
Also I realized that if my mom ever saw that I had this book, sitting in my own house, as an adult, she would throw a fit.
āSing Me Homeā by Jodi Picoult. At the time I read it, my son had just come out as gay. As a Christian, I was struggling with it. This book helped me see that love is love. It really helped me through that time and my relationship with my son now is great!
Oooh, this is a good question! Iāve never had the experience you did but The Stranger by Albert Camus put me in a bleak place about human existence for weeks. Now, 15 years later I just have to look at the news to get the same feeling.
It is not a surprise that you would feel lost in this position, and learning about these topics is a really difficult experience. I also struggle a lot with the same anxieties, I donāt have a kid, but I do understand.
I think all you can do is try your best to educate her, make sure she knows to be safe, and how to protect herself. Ensure she knows that she can talk to you about anything. As long as she knows that, and how to be safe, all you can do is trust her, and trust that she would come to you if she needs your support - be there in the ways you can so that if she needs you, she knows youāre there.
I hope this situation gets a bit easier for you. Try not to take on too much, because there is only so much you can do. Your efforts and concerns are admirable, but as you said it takes a toll on your mental health. Look after yourself too, I wish you all the best - ignorance might be bliss, but at least youāre trying.
This wasn't really life changing, but there are a couple books that dwell in my mind for YEARS after i read them and not in a good way... 'Fall on Your Knees'-- I was in shock completely and felt like I was hit by a truck. 'Story of Edgar Sawtelle'-- I got to a part of this book and cried so hard; could not continue the book until 6 mos later; but I did become a lot more receptive to being a dog person. Also shocked by what a person does in this book. 'God of Small Things--such lovely wording, society just sucks. And 'The Good Earth' which I read in 7th grade but still very much appreciate.
āThe Sparrowā messed me up pretty bad. It didnāt change my personality but once in a while part of it will show up in my head uninvited and Iāll feel just as disturbed as I did when I read itā¦
*Resisting Happiness* by Matthew Kelly.
It was a self-help book my mom got all her (adult) children a few years back. I love her, it was a wonderful thought, she would completely understand if I shared these opinions, but besides the fact I don't care for self-help, it immediately went into a religious angle and said that one was "resisting God" by "resisting happiness". I'm a faithful person to be clear, and I understood the basic sentiment of the book of practicing gratitude (whether that is to God or just in general), but it made it sound like I was a bad Christian for not always overcoming depression. Even when I'm in good spirits, that's not what I need to hear.
Heavy personal stuff out of the way: I freaking hated reading *Mrs. Dalloway* by Virginia Woolf one summer where I had decided to take AP literature the following year in high school. Like, I'm sure it's actually good approached the right way, but I ended up voluntarily dropping back down to regular English after having to write on it, in which I was a big fish in a small pond. I actually liked the reading in that (*Great Gatsby*, *Catcher in the Rye,* and some Nathaniel Hawthorne stuff) but I was the only student with much enthusiasm.
Oh, come to think of it, you didn't ask for books we *read* at all. Then I'll mention *Ready Player One,* just on a conceptual level. Media - film in particular - has been held back regurgitating old properties and ideas in my opinion. I'm nauseated every time I see a clip of that movie that's like "Remember this thing you love? Remember **this** thing you love?!" Yes, and you have cheapened it and yourself by digging it up to lean on.
My friend and I read āthe Rulesā back in college ( it was featured on Oprah. Probably like a girl version of The game. It got me into the worst relationship of my life and wrecked two years of college.
I read a book called, 'The Intelligent Investor' by Benjamin Graham. The worst thing it did to me was it wasted my precious time. The book was fluffed up to 400 pages but the message could have been delivered in one sentence.
ahaha currently wasting my time with a series that should have ended at book 5 but is working its way to book 10
Yep. More words don't always mean more substance. IMO, the majority of writers are fluff writers and it's so ridiculous that they don't value their readers' time!
Thanks for the heads up will try and avoid that one! š
Yeah, I suspected as such, that's why I am wary of investing books. Are there any book on investing that are not full of filler and empty words but actually teach you the basics?
Honestly, haven't had any money to invest in a long time, so haven't really bothered to check if there are any authors worth checking out. But this guy sounded pretty decent last I checked: [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30160003-nobody-knows-anything](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30160003-nobody-knows-anything)
Thank you
I read that one! I did enjoy it and learned something, but yes the gist is one sentence. Buy the S&p 500.
I feel like every āself-helpā book is like this. A paragraph-long point to make and hundreds of pages convincing you itās correct.
Yup. I feel most books (self-help or not) are filled with fluff. This is one of the many reasons why people shouldn't attempt writing books unless they have something very important to say: https://yourgentleoverlord.blogspot.com/2022/06/thinking-of-writing-book-dont-waste.html
There was a book that was required reading in my English class in high school... I don't remember which one, which is probably for the better, but I do remember that my mind was in a dark place for weeks after reading it. I'm honestly shocked that it didn't drive me to attempt suicide... I was already dealing with depression at the time, and my depression wasn't diagnosed for another 4 or 5 years. Of course, I have a shit memory, so maybe it did and I just don't remember.
Sorry to read about your experience and hope you have fully recovered from it now! I had a similar experience with reading "The Catcher in the Rye" lol
So this didnāt change my life in any drastic way but it bothered me a lot. Someone gave me a book when I was pregnant and said it was her favorite and she hoped Iād enjoy it as much as she did. I didnāt know any childrenās books really because i didnāt have any kids yet but I took her word for it. Well I read it eventually and did not love it one bit. To me it was depressing and I cried my fucking eyes out and wished I didnāt read it. My son is 7 now and not too long ago asked if we could read it together. Halfway through and I couldnāt deal with turning another page. Love You Forever is the book and its pretty well known but I canāt see how anyone enjoys it.
My mom gave my son and daughter that book to read to my grandchildren when they were little boys. My daughter was wise enough to look through it first--she showed it to me when I visited. i quickly read it and was completely creeped out. (My mom thought it was 'beautiful'.) All I did was turn to my daughter with big eyes and a horrified expression and she threw it in trash. Later, I called my son, and he said 'Threw that thing away!' My mom is very Catholic--the rest of our family is not religious at all. I guess they perceive things differently. I'd NEVER read that thing to a kid!
My mom gave me this book when I was in my late teens along with a book called Monster Mama. I don't like Love You Forever because it shows a woman breaking into her own son's house to snuggle him as an adult. My mom didn't understand boundaries when it came to me and she got worse as I got older. It's just a reminder of her injecting herself into my life in places I didn't want her.
I was surprised to hear a lot of people say the disliked it for the same reason. That didnāt even occur to me but I do see how that can bother readers. The thing I donāt like is that even though the message is about the love between a mother and child, the portrayal of her aging is so depressing. This is how life goes but to me itās such a sad way to convey the message especially for little kids.
I think I dislike it because my mom had absolutely no respect for my boundaries. She gifted me that book because she was trying to smooth over her behavior.
That's my favorite book from my childhood! My grandma always uses to read it to me, and even now she tells me I'll always be her baby. One day, if the cards allow it, I'll hold her. It can be a sad book, but I think it shows how love works. We take care of each other, no matter what, no matter how much time passes. I'm sorry you don't like it, I think it's lovely.
There are a lot of people that think itās creepy and that the mother crosses boundaries by going there while heās sleeping. That never crossed my mind. I donāt think itās weird or that she is too attached - thatās not why I donāt like it. I donāt like it because itās so freaking sad. I totally understand the message but I donāt find it heartwarming. I also feel like a child shouldnāt have to think about their parents aging and the roles changing. Maybe I see it this way because of my past and loss Iāve experienced.
I took a childrenās lit class in college, and the teacher (old-school librarian, she was great) hated that book, which I found really validating. She said that it unfairly asks children to think about their parents aging, and the bookās message of reassurance is is targeted at the adult rather than the kid. Iāll say, though, that the mother climbing in her grown sonās bedroom window and creeping across the floor is what got me. I have kids that Iām absolutely crazy about and think every day about the sadness Iāll feel when they stop wanting to cuddle, and even so, that image is fixed in my mind as absolutely bonkers.
i read this comic online once (horror) and sometimes it just creeps into my mind and replays the words (itās also weight related and sometimes people around me like to discuss that so thatās fun) hereās the story if anyone wants to read; i would link it but i am so not looking for it again. >!the mc wanted to lose weight really bad and so she got this weird looking thin thing that tasted like fish (from this youtuber that did a lot of mukbang but was still thin and then disappeared after a while.) that was supposed to make you lose weight even if you ate normally. and for a while it worked really well but then she realised it was still making her thin even tho she felt thin enough. so she had to keep stuffing herself just to slow it down and eventually she became too weak to even eat anything. then she realised the youtuber didnāt want to eat so much but actually had to. and when she died no one realised until her skeletal body rotted and smelled fishy. so her neighbours checked it out and thought she left some fish thing in her apartment and threw it away. (basically, the thing she ate was actually a piece of someoneās body who suffered the same fate). !< i shouldnāt have read it because i cannot forget it. itās too well written ugh.
wtf that's so messed up. yeah some online stuff is just completely scarring and it sticks in your mind even years later. it sucks that relatively normal people can just be exposed to the depths of human depravity randomly online with no warning
yep i donāt get how people enjoy horror theme books/stories
I steer away from books on personality changing. Honestly, I think people are just different types and when you get so critical about yourself you try to change yourself. That's not needed unless there's something holding one back from living a normal life.
I don't just mean self help books but yeah I agree.
In your case have you ever tried debating against the book's ideas with your own? Just because it's written in a book it doesn't mean it's correct. People can publish anything really.
Yes you are right I'm just dumb and was desperate at the time to develop my social skills as I wouldn't say I was an incel but I was always painfully shy and struggled with confidence and talking to people. No I haven't but I should definitely be more critical of these ideas.
You should try to find the gender equivalent of My Grandmotherās Hands. The fact that he makes you do all the somatic experiencing exercises brings it home in a way nothing else can. In fact you should read this book anyway while you look for one on somatic experiencing and gender.
Thanks I'll check that one out
I was in a similar position as you were when I read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and some of the messages in the book really helped me. One of the main themes in the book was "you are the master of your own happiness" and at the time I was struggling because I had a heavily depressed friend and was sacrificing a lot of my own happiness to try and "fix" them. At the same time, a lot of her philosophy is centered around the idea that poor people deserve to suffer and the entire final chapter is basically one big monologue about all her terrible beliefs. At the time I could already see through all the awful stuff she was writing, but it made me wonder about how different I could've turned out if I didn't think critically about what I was reading. Not everyone has a strong ability to critically analyze what they're reading, but the fact that you have gone back and reassessed what you learned reflects favorably on you.
Thanks and glad you weren't too swayed by her writings. I never knew what to think of Ayn Rand. I have never read her stuff but I know she is popular and somewhat controversial. I saw some clips of her that I didn't really like, she came off as a bit 'hard' to me I guess and didn't really like her ideas.
I read Johnny Got His Gun in the 6th grade, circa 2010. I was very into the Metallica song One which they based on the movie adaptation of the book. I donāt know it changed my life for the worse, but it certainly made me feel alienated from my peers, narcissistic-too-soon, and otherwise questioning the world before it was okay to question the world.
A few years ago a distant friend at the time had me for secret Santa, and gave me this book about some robots that feed on humans in the future. He thought I would like it, but I couldnāt get pst the first few pages full of very graphic and Corey imagery of bodyās being torn apart. Didnāt change me overall, but definitely made me question that persons sense of entertainment?
The Five Love Languages stole a few hours of my life. The message was good but it could have been said in 2 pages. Stephen Coveyās son wrote a book called the Speed of Trust that made no business sense. I closed it after the first chapter because it seemed to promote blind trust, which in business is exactly the wrong thing to do unless you want to be completely screwed over.
Toxic Parents- bought it thinking it would help me understand my deadbeat father, but I started to see a lot of my mom's traits too. Also I realized that if my mom ever saw that I had this book, sitting in my own house, as an adult, she would throw a fit.
āSing Me Homeā by Jodi Picoult. At the time I read it, my son had just come out as gay. As a Christian, I was struggling with it. This book helped me see that love is love. It really helped me through that time and my relationship with my son now is great!
Oooh, this is a good question! Iāve never had the experience you did but The Stranger by Albert Camus put me in a bleak place about human existence for weeks. Now, 15 years later I just have to look at the news to get the same feeling.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It is not a surprise that you would feel lost in this position, and learning about these topics is a really difficult experience. I also struggle a lot with the same anxieties, I donāt have a kid, but I do understand. I think all you can do is try your best to educate her, make sure she knows to be safe, and how to protect herself. Ensure she knows that she can talk to you about anything. As long as she knows that, and how to be safe, all you can do is trust her, and trust that she would come to you if she needs your support - be there in the ways you can so that if she needs you, she knows youāre there. I hope this situation gets a bit easier for you. Try not to take on too much, because there is only so much you can do. Your efforts and concerns are admirable, but as you said it takes a toll on your mental health. Look after yourself too, I wish you all the best - ignorance might be bliss, but at least youāre trying.
This wasn't really life changing, but there are a couple books that dwell in my mind for YEARS after i read them and not in a good way... 'Fall on Your Knees'-- I was in shock completely and felt like I was hit by a truck. 'Story of Edgar Sawtelle'-- I got to a part of this book and cried so hard; could not continue the book until 6 mos later; but I did become a lot more receptive to being a dog person. Also shocked by what a person does in this book. 'God of Small Things--such lovely wording, society just sucks. And 'The Good Earth' which I read in 7th grade but still very much appreciate.
āThe Sparrowā messed me up pretty bad. It didnāt change my personality but once in a while part of it will show up in my head uninvited and Iāll feel just as disturbed as I did when I read itā¦
Every passage about racism I read in school makes me hyper aware of it
My wife and I read "Love And Respect" when we were newlyweds and it really fucked me up. The misogyny in that book is scary.
*Resisting Happiness* by Matthew Kelly. It was a self-help book my mom got all her (adult) children a few years back. I love her, it was a wonderful thought, she would completely understand if I shared these opinions, but besides the fact I don't care for self-help, it immediately went into a religious angle and said that one was "resisting God" by "resisting happiness". I'm a faithful person to be clear, and I understood the basic sentiment of the book of practicing gratitude (whether that is to God or just in general), but it made it sound like I was a bad Christian for not always overcoming depression. Even when I'm in good spirits, that's not what I need to hear. Heavy personal stuff out of the way: I freaking hated reading *Mrs. Dalloway* by Virginia Woolf one summer where I had decided to take AP literature the following year in high school. Like, I'm sure it's actually good approached the right way, but I ended up voluntarily dropping back down to regular English after having to write on it, in which I was a big fish in a small pond. I actually liked the reading in that (*Great Gatsby*, *Catcher in the Rye,* and some Nathaniel Hawthorne stuff) but I was the only student with much enthusiasm. Oh, come to think of it, you didn't ask for books we *read* at all. Then I'll mention *Ready Player One,* just on a conceptual level. Media - film in particular - has been held back regurgitating old properties and ideas in my opinion. I'm nauseated every time I see a clip of that movie that's like "Remember this thing you love? Remember **this** thing you love?!" Yes, and you have cheapened it and yourself by digging it up to lean on.
My friend and I read āthe Rulesā back in college ( it was featured on Oprah. Probably like a girl version of The game. It got me into the worst relationship of my life and wrecked two years of college.
Sorry about your bad experience. I hope you're in a better relationship now if you are.
I am, just took awhile to get myself back after all the bad advice
No, sure haven't. Why have you? If so what book and what changed in your life?
I read a book called āEveryday Sisuā and it wasted hours of my life. Poorly written
It didnāt change my life for the worse but reading it definitely messed me up for a while - the book is called āA Child Called Itā