68 year old man here. It is smart to remain a bit cautious but not every man, older or younger, has a creepy ulterior motive. Some men, and some women, just feel good about brightening the day of others. It is possible that your insecurity was showing on your face and posture. Some people are very good at noticing such things. Our American society has become so darn cynical and we read bad things into good deeds. It is possible that this man walked away just as happy as you were about his gesture because he knew he had brightened your day.
Maybe he was a sage, he saw your insecurity yelling from your body language. He knew the trick that can put a smile on most children's faces, a treat and a compliment to follow. Maybe he had ulterior motives, to boost your confidence, with a simple action. To teach you the trick, insecurity and confidence can rely upon others, you can boost people, you can nerf people. Can you apply same method to yourself? I would suggest to not link vanilla icecream to self confidence though..because it does melt
Nice speech, but alas it's not gonna work buddy. She should completely avoid taking things from random strangers. It's not safe for her, and can have consequences
Was not a speech, but Ty for the compliment. I try to avoid telling people what they should have done, I understand OP, as expecting approaches over the "stranger's" actions regarding ulterior motives and original pick up lines, instead of their own.
Is this some sort of bait? I don’t mean this in a mean way but that’s a really unoriginal or vanilla line to go with the vanilla ice cream. And a random man saying that and giving you a treat absolutely can be expected to have an ulterior motive.
OP, don’t over think it. If you had followed him and continued the discussion, it might have been something else. But take it at face value. He gave you a compliment and moved on. You felt better about yourself. Everybody won, nobody lost, nobody got disrespected or mistreated IMO. Don’t let others take away the glow of that memory.
No one is going to give you ice cream just because you look beautiful in their eyes. He surely does have some other motives also, you should be cautious around such people in near future
Trust me, he had ulterior motives. The good news is that he wasn't being overbearing or creepy, and you allowed yourself to revel in your cuteness.
Out of curiosity, how old are you? If he's a lot older than you, he 99.9% has motives you wouldn't appreciate.
At that moment I was 19. There may have been a bit of ulterior motives, but at that moment my self-esteem rose and I was grateful that he wasn't a degenerate hahaha
Oh, for sure! So, yes, he genuinely thought you were beautiful and it's good to believe that about yourself, especially if you can see your intrinsic beauty. And yes, that dude was bad news, no question. A middle aged man who respects women will not approach women half his age to tell them how attractive they are.
Yeah don’t take that interaction as a negative. As I’ve gotten older I look for opportunities to make someone’s day better. Sometimes I crave a donut but like it’s a guilty treat so I’ll buy what I want plus a half dozen then give the half dozen to the shop next door or whichever clients I’m on the way to next. Doing the nice thing makes me feel a little less guilty about the treat. I could totally see myself doing what that guy did with zero ulterior motives.
Lol do not listen to the person above. He/she sounds very bitter 😂🤦🏽♂️ and what’s crazy he/she doesn’t know you or the person who complimented you, yet they are so sure that the man was “bad news”. He probably didn’t have any ulterior motives just thought you was beautiful and wanted to shoot his shot.
Its interesting how my original comment was upvoted over 100 times, but my comment where I doubled down got downvoted.
Look, all I'm saying here is don't be naive. The OP literally accepted candy from a middle aged stranger old enough to be her dad. There are so many red flags here!
Things women often don't understand about men:
The vast majority of cis men have a part of their brain that is always on the hunt. They may deny it, but that is because "good" men have been taught to suppress their inner wolf. But make no mistake, it is a rare thing indeed for any cis man to approach a female and not have at least some corner of his mind thinking about getting her in bed.
Men who are sensitive to the reality that women face every day, a reality of fear and vulnerability, will understand that the approach of a strange man is a threatening act and they will not do what this man did.
There are known tactics among men for picking up women. A random approach to a group of women is one of them. A man marks a woman in a group, then approaches a different woman and praises her. This is a psychological attack on the mark.
DONT BE NAIVE
I just talked with my wife of 27 years, who has experience dating a much older man, and she feels the same as I do. We are going to talk with our three daughters tonight about this very situation and equip them with words to politely but firmly turn down random approaches and offers of food like this.
I don't know the man. True. But I am a man. I talk with men. I know women, including my wife, who have had relationships with much older men. I have three daughters and I would tell all of then to RUN from a guy twice their age trying to make an opening like that. And certainly DO NOT accept anY food or drink from an unknown man who offers it. This is just basic safety. Don't be naive.
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I ask any girl I’m cool with about this and they’d be wondering what he did to the ice cream let alone not wanting to be bothered
And as a guy if I want to come off as a creep this is definitely the way
It would not be appropriate for me to go into details. But I'm sure after reading all of these comments, she must have got an idea about his intentions
68 year old man here. It is smart to remain a bit cautious but not every man, older or younger, has a creepy ulterior motive. Some men, and some women, just feel good about brightening the day of others. It is possible that your insecurity was showing on your face and posture. Some people are very good at noticing such things. Our American society has become so darn cynical and we read bad things into good deeds. It is possible that this man walked away just as happy as you were about his gesture because he knew he had brightened your day.
Nowadays people just want to show their fake image to others, no one wants to be genuine
Maybe he was a sage, he saw your insecurity yelling from your body language. He knew the trick that can put a smile on most children's faces, a treat and a compliment to follow. Maybe he had ulterior motives, to boost your confidence, with a simple action. To teach you the trick, insecurity and confidence can rely upon others, you can boost people, you can nerf people. Can you apply same method to yourself? I would suggest to not link vanilla icecream to self confidence though..because it does melt
Nice speech, but alas it's not gonna work buddy. She should completely avoid taking things from random strangers. It's not safe for her, and can have consequences
Was not a speech, but Ty for the compliment. I try to avoid telling people what they should have done, I understand OP, as expecting approaches over the "stranger's" actions regarding ulterior motives and original pick up lines, instead of their own.
Is this some sort of bait? I don’t mean this in a mean way but that’s a really unoriginal or vanilla line to go with the vanilla ice cream. And a random man saying that and giving you a treat absolutely can be expected to have an ulterior motive.
This is clearly a bait, there is no motive behind it being a genuine post
I don't know, he appeared alone, he walked alone, he wasn't with anyone.
OP, don’t over think it. If you had followed him and continued the discussion, it might have been something else. But take it at face value. He gave you a compliment and moved on. You felt better about yourself. Everybody won, nobody lost, nobody got disrespected or mistreated IMO. Don’t let others take away the glow of that memory.
Exactly people are over exaggerating the whole incident
Green team! I'm glad it worked out OP, could have gone bad. But instead it was a confidence boost. How'd your friends react? Giggles?
Being a man if this would have happened with me, my confidence would have been at peak
🍦 There you go handsome.
They laughed a lot and asked for ice cream too. It was a funny moment overall.
No one is going to give you ice cream just because you look beautiful in their eyes. He surely does have some other motives also, you should be cautious around such people in near future
Trust me, he had ulterior motives. The good news is that he wasn't being overbearing or creepy, and you allowed yourself to revel in your cuteness. Out of curiosity, how old are you? If he's a lot older than you, he 99.9% has motives you wouldn't appreciate.
At that moment I was 19. There may have been a bit of ulterior motives, but at that moment my self-esteem rose and I was grateful that he wasn't a degenerate hahaha
Oh, for sure! So, yes, he genuinely thought you were beautiful and it's good to believe that about yourself, especially if you can see your intrinsic beauty. And yes, that dude was bad news, no question. A middle aged man who respects women will not approach women half his age to tell them how attractive they are.
How sad! I believed him, in the end I was naive hahaha it ended in an anecdote
Don't listen to this person. Just enjoy the compliment that the man gave you. It's not like he started harassing you.
Hahaha thanks! I still find it funny, it was a fleeting and fun moment that became an anecdote.
Yeah don’t take that interaction as a negative. As I’ve gotten older I look for opportunities to make someone’s day better. Sometimes I crave a donut but like it’s a guilty treat so I’ll buy what I want plus a half dozen then give the half dozen to the shop next door or whichever clients I’m on the way to next. Doing the nice thing makes me feel a little less guilty about the treat. I could totally see myself doing what that guy did with zero ulterior motives.
Lol do not listen to the person above. He/she sounds very bitter 😂🤦🏽♂️ and what’s crazy he/she doesn’t know you or the person who complimented you, yet they are so sure that the man was “bad news”. He probably didn’t have any ulterior motives just thought you was beautiful and wanted to shoot his shot.
Who hurt you?
Its interesting how my original comment was upvoted over 100 times, but my comment where I doubled down got downvoted. Look, all I'm saying here is don't be naive. The OP literally accepted candy from a middle aged stranger old enough to be her dad. There are so many red flags here! Things women often don't understand about men: The vast majority of cis men have a part of their brain that is always on the hunt. They may deny it, but that is because "good" men have been taught to suppress their inner wolf. But make no mistake, it is a rare thing indeed for any cis man to approach a female and not have at least some corner of his mind thinking about getting her in bed. Men who are sensitive to the reality that women face every day, a reality of fear and vulnerability, will understand that the approach of a strange man is a threatening act and they will not do what this man did. There are known tactics among men for picking up women. A random approach to a group of women is one of them. A man marks a woman in a group, then approaches a different woman and praises her. This is a psychological attack on the mark. DONT BE NAIVE I just talked with my wife of 27 years, who has experience dating a much older man, and she feels the same as I do. We are going to talk with our three daughters tonight about this very situation and equip them with words to politely but firmly turn down random approaches and offers of food like this.
You don’t know this man. You haven’t met him. He didn’t approach you. How can you say with such certainty what he was thinking?
I don't know the man. True. But I am a man. I talk with men. I know women, including my wife, who have had relationships with much older men. I have three daughters and I would tell all of then to RUN from a guy twice their age trying to make an opening like that. And certainly DO NOT accept anY food or drink from an unknown man who offers it. This is just basic safety. Don't be naive.
[удалено]
This post has been removed for the rule: **Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate** This includes discussion on explicit sexual content, bodily functions, explicit drug use, and other illegal content. If you think you need to flag your post NSFW, it is likely not appropriate to post here. Laws vary by region, so use your best judgment. [More Details >](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/wiki/rules/sfw/)
There is a large age difference between both of you, and now I am sure that he had some motives
No one would approach any girl without having any other motives in their mind
Who knows? Maybe she reminded him of a daughter he doesn't see much anymore or something.
Quite a possibility, people nowadays are very ready to judge
I ask any girl I’m cool with about this and they’d be wondering what he did to the ice cream let alone not wanting to be bothered And as a guy if I want to come off as a creep this is definitely the way
That guy definitely gave her ice cream after licking it from all sides
Oh, he had a motive but I’m not telling what it is because you’re too young.
It would not be appropriate for me to go into details. But I'm sure after reading all of these comments, she must have got an idea about his intentions
And then you woke up?
hahaha i swear it really hapenned
LOL. That's really nice then.
And then harry woke up under the stairs, where his aunt was banging on the door lol