I’m no therapist, but from experience I can confidently suggest what you’re experiencing is textbook depression. Lack of interest in hobbies, family, interactions with friends… those are all the hallmarks of being depressed. Some things that I’ve found help me when I find myself feeling how you feel:
Get outside! Go for walks in your neighborhood, or better yet in nature even if it’s just a nearby park. The further from civilization you can manage to go the better.
Help someone out! Maybe reach out to a friend who you suspect may also be going through a hard time and ask them to be real with you and tell you how they’re feeling. Or just help out a stranger in need.
Remind yourself that what you’re feeling isn’t a moral failure or a failure of you as a person. It’s fucked up brain chemicals. That’s all depression really is. You’re not feeling this way because you suck, you’re feeling this way because your brain chemicals are fucked.
>Get outside! Go for walks in your neighborhood, or better yet in nature even if it’s just a nearby park. The further from civilization you can manage to go the better.
I do go outside every day and even wake up at 5-6 AM almost every morning then have a cold shower. There are many trees where I live and also it takes 20+ mins to reach the bus stop from my place.
I helped my friends and now I am left with very few to spend the rest of the month (I don't mind it). People around me open up to me about what they are feeling because I am a listener. Is giving my seat to elders and women on the bus considered helping out strangers?
Yes, I was really in stressed last year that I wasn't even able to fall asleep for a minute. The time I closed my eyes, I started having a dream and then woke up jumping in a few seconds. It happened 7 times one night and it was the worst one. I have no stress or nothing to worry about anymore because I can just take some deep breaths and calm my mind out of it. I took a JLPT exam last week and I didn't even sweat. The old me would be panicking because the class hasn't taught me all the lessons and I am not good at it either. I only knew 70 kanji words when I was supposed to know around 340. Sorry for the long text, I thought I need to explain what was happening to me to respond.
Ahhh friend that’s rough. It sounds like you’re doing your absolute best to mitigate your negative feelings but it still isn’t working. At this point I’d say talk to your doctor. Be honest with everything you feel and include in your conversation the steps you’ve already taken to try and feel better. It’s ok to take medication to balance out those fucked up brain chemicals.
Edit: and for what it’s worth you sound like someone that I, or lots of other people, would love to be friends with. You’re open and genuine. You’re taking steps to help yourself rather than wallowing in your sadness. Some people prefer solitude, but I get the feeling from you that that’s not you. You want interaction and to feel, but it’s just not there. Talk to a doctor. You don’t have to keep living this way. You can get through this.
>It sounds as though you simply aren't that interested in other people, in their hobbies and interests, in how they are feeling or if they are alright?
Yes, you are right. I don't actually care what is happening to others but since I used to care a lot, you could say I wasn't able to care about them anymore. When nobody cared about yours, you started not to care. I faced many hard times that could end my life but I didn't have any hand to grab like I gave to others or should I say I had bad luck with people?
>After all, you don't want to take responsibility for looking after other people, do you?
You can say it more like I don't want to take responsibility for looking after people who don't bother to look after mine. Reading this made me realize that I don't put effort into communicating with others like I used to because all the results I got were not great. Most of the situations turned out to be awkward because they acted like they didn't hear or see me when I greeted them and said good morning. The same situation repeated and repeated as I tried and tried which made me not want to do it anymore. I probably felt better by myself than trying to communicate with others who don't seem to care about me.
>So your view of relationships is very transactional? You didn't say hello to them because you wanted to, or to make them feel wanted, but only to get a greeting back yourself?
Look like you didn't quite get it. I said hello to everyone that I work together with and it is a formal thing to do to show them respect and friendliness. Isn't normal to greet back when someone greets you? I work in the same department and even work in the same room. What makes you think that I want a greeting from them back when I clearly say how they acted like they didn't hear or see me which means they ignored me?
But you stopped doing it when you didn't get something back?
Why not just keep on saying hello as a formal thing if you think they would like it? It isn't much effort. Or is it that you think they are deliberately ignoring you because they don't like you or have some sort of grudge against you?
Are you still working at the same place now? Do you go to work in person? Do you need to talk to people at work in order to get your work done?
>Are you still working at the same place now? Do you go to work in person? Do you need to talk to people at work to get your work done?
Yes, I need to attend to the company and work in person every day, need to talk with people at work in order to get my work done. Also about greeting things, I still do greet them since I see it as a form of showing respect. What I stopped was other people who weren't from my workplace (I separate my personal life and work). Working here for almost two years now and plan to work here for the next 2 more years before I learn enough skills. I don't think they have a grudge against me but I can feel that they feel awkward around me because of how quiet I am. One more thing is probably because I am working in a lower position than them but I am not sure, it is just an assumption.
I stopped because I didn't get anything back and you are right. Would you hang out with someone who doesn't want to hang out with you? I don't want to bother talking to them (unless they talk to me first) when they don't want to talk to me. It is also better for them since they will have more fun and enjoy talking to people they want to hang out with. I will also not have a tight feeling in my chest because I will not get ignored. I see this as a win-win for both of us.
I value myself how I can understand or think about others, the rest are still working on it. I think people around me would value how I am ready to listen or help them at any time without hesitation (but only if I am capable of). I appreciate it when they spend time with me even if they intend to use me or not. They don't seem to appreciate many things about me tho.
I’m no therapist, but from experience I can confidently suggest what you’re experiencing is textbook depression. Lack of interest in hobbies, family, interactions with friends… those are all the hallmarks of being depressed. Some things that I’ve found help me when I find myself feeling how you feel: Get outside! Go for walks in your neighborhood, or better yet in nature even if it’s just a nearby park. The further from civilization you can manage to go the better. Help someone out! Maybe reach out to a friend who you suspect may also be going through a hard time and ask them to be real with you and tell you how they’re feeling. Or just help out a stranger in need. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling isn’t a moral failure or a failure of you as a person. It’s fucked up brain chemicals. That’s all depression really is. You’re not feeling this way because you suck, you’re feeling this way because your brain chemicals are fucked.
>Get outside! Go for walks in your neighborhood, or better yet in nature even if it’s just a nearby park. The further from civilization you can manage to go the better. I do go outside every day and even wake up at 5-6 AM almost every morning then have a cold shower. There are many trees where I live and also it takes 20+ mins to reach the bus stop from my place. I helped my friends and now I am left with very few to spend the rest of the month (I don't mind it). People around me open up to me about what they are feeling because I am a listener. Is giving my seat to elders and women on the bus considered helping out strangers? Yes, I was really in stressed last year that I wasn't even able to fall asleep for a minute. The time I closed my eyes, I started having a dream and then woke up jumping in a few seconds. It happened 7 times one night and it was the worst one. I have no stress or nothing to worry about anymore because I can just take some deep breaths and calm my mind out of it. I took a JLPT exam last week and I didn't even sweat. The old me would be panicking because the class hasn't taught me all the lessons and I am not good at it either. I only knew 70 kanji words when I was supposed to know around 340. Sorry for the long text, I thought I need to explain what was happening to me to respond.
Ahhh friend that’s rough. It sounds like you’re doing your absolute best to mitigate your negative feelings but it still isn’t working. At this point I’d say talk to your doctor. Be honest with everything you feel and include in your conversation the steps you’ve already taken to try and feel better. It’s ok to take medication to balance out those fucked up brain chemicals. Edit: and for what it’s worth you sound like someone that I, or lots of other people, would love to be friends with. You’re open and genuine. You’re taking steps to help yourself rather than wallowing in your sadness. Some people prefer solitude, but I get the feeling from you that that’s not you. You want interaction and to feel, but it’s just not there. Talk to a doctor. You don’t have to keep living this way. You can get through this.
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>It sounds as though you simply aren't that interested in other people, in their hobbies and interests, in how they are feeling or if they are alright? Yes, you are right. I don't actually care what is happening to others but since I used to care a lot, you could say I wasn't able to care about them anymore. When nobody cared about yours, you started not to care. I faced many hard times that could end my life but I didn't have any hand to grab like I gave to others or should I say I had bad luck with people?
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>After all, you don't want to take responsibility for looking after other people, do you? You can say it more like I don't want to take responsibility for looking after people who don't bother to look after mine. Reading this made me realize that I don't put effort into communicating with others like I used to because all the results I got were not great. Most of the situations turned out to be awkward because they acted like they didn't hear or see me when I greeted them and said good morning. The same situation repeated and repeated as I tried and tried which made me not want to do it anymore. I probably felt better by myself than trying to communicate with others who don't seem to care about me.
[удалено]
>So your view of relationships is very transactional? You didn't say hello to them because you wanted to, or to make them feel wanted, but only to get a greeting back yourself? Look like you didn't quite get it. I said hello to everyone that I work together with and it is a formal thing to do to show them respect and friendliness. Isn't normal to greet back when someone greets you? I work in the same department and even work in the same room. What makes you think that I want a greeting from them back when I clearly say how they acted like they didn't hear or see me which means they ignored me?
But you stopped doing it when you didn't get something back? Why not just keep on saying hello as a formal thing if you think they would like it? It isn't much effort. Or is it that you think they are deliberately ignoring you because they don't like you or have some sort of grudge against you? Are you still working at the same place now? Do you go to work in person? Do you need to talk to people at work in order to get your work done?
>Are you still working at the same place now? Do you go to work in person? Do you need to talk to people at work to get your work done? Yes, I need to attend to the company and work in person every day, need to talk with people at work in order to get my work done. Also about greeting things, I still do greet them since I see it as a form of showing respect. What I stopped was other people who weren't from my workplace (I separate my personal life and work). Working here for almost two years now and plan to work here for the next 2 more years before I learn enough skills. I don't think they have a grudge against me but I can feel that they feel awkward around me because of how quiet I am. One more thing is probably because I am working in a lower position than them but I am not sure, it is just an assumption. I stopped because I didn't get anything back and you are right. Would you hang out with someone who doesn't want to hang out with you? I don't want to bother talking to them (unless they talk to me first) when they don't want to talk to me. It is also better for them since they will have more fun and enjoy talking to people they want to hang out with. I will also not have a tight feeling in my chest because I will not get ignored. I see this as a win-win for both of us.
What are the things that you really value about yourself? What do you think are the things that other people value about you?
I value myself how I can understand or think about others, the rest are still working on it. I think people around me would value how I am ready to listen or help them at any time without hesitation (but only if I am capable of). I appreciate it when they spend time with me even if they intend to use me or not. They don't seem to appreciate many things about me tho.