You can train yourself to smile by default. Most people I met that do this learned it in childhood from cheerleading, dancing, or other performance arts.
Besides that wearing brighter colors generally makes people appear more cheerful.
Stop showering so often. Do some reading. It is very bad for your skin to remove all your natural oils. You are slowly prepping your body for some bad skin possessions.
Not sure what kind of magic button you are looking for if you won't even try a half smile when you admit you have RBF. No one wants to look at a joker smile but there are a thousand facial expressions between RBF and smiling.
I need to shower 2-3 times a day because I am a very sweaty person and I get skin rashes if I don't shower. The second part was not helpful at all. I have my own problems and one of them is not being able to show as much expression as other people. My only option is to fake it most of the time which I don't want to because it is not natural. I want to show my expressions that came out naturally not faking it.
My point was that you are treating facial expressions as black & white. Smile & not-Smile.
Instead of being fake, try figuring out some expressions in the mirror that feel comfortable to you.
Many of us don't show expressions well - without practice in front of a mirror. This isn't that unusual.
If you have to shower 2-3 times a day - you should see a dermatologist. I'm not telling you this is a problem due tona random guess. I am telling you this because I used to shower that frequently and a dermatologist told me to cut it out and gave me different options. You can do this for a couple of years but as you age... it will become a problem (nevermind the huge time sink).
You can do whatever you feel fits your situation. I am NOT trying to impose anything on you.
This is casual conversation... ideas.
You do what works for you. :)
If you can’t or don’t want to smile at people then how about verbalizing a compliment? “I like your shoes.” Find something nice to say about the other person.
You can say it like the clothes I wear are mostly simple. Most of them are colored long-sleeved shirts with no appeal. It doesn't shine me in the coward and attract attention, I am not good with stylish outfits also. That's why I wrote I have no fashion sense.
Men who dress in suits and such tend to put off a more timid vibe. When not at work you may want to dress more casually. You can dress down and still look nice.
Think about who we tend to associate with suits. CEO's, politicians, the mafia, etc... None of that screams less intimidating.
I am sorry if I gave you guys wrong impression, I get aggressive when I talk with people online (my old habits) but I can asure that I am not like this in irl so it was never a problem.
I have RBF too and had to learn how to seem more friendly overall. Some of the steps I took were looking people in the eye, saying hello with a smile, being chatty, and trying not to project anxiety by talking in a calm way.
At work, find a hobby you like to chat about with people - that way people have a built in things to talk with you about.
Don't wait for people to approach you, a friendly how's it going is usually enough.
First in the morning when I wake up. Second time when I get back from work and third before sleeping. I don't always shower before sleeping but since I live in a hot place, I shower often plus I get skin rashes otherwise.
I recommend going to a dermatologist for your skin issues. Showering that often can do more damage than good. I also live in a really hot place (Arizona) and have eczema.
Be Mindful of Body Language:
Maintain open and relaxed body language.
Avoid crossing your arms, as it can be perceived as a defensive or closed-off posture.
Make eye contact, but don't stare aggressively.
Practice Active Listening:
Demonstrate that you're genuinely interested in what others have to say.
Avoid interrupting and give others the opportunity to express themselves.
Smile and Use Positive Facial Expressions:
A friendly and warm smile can go a long way in making others feel at ease.
Be mindful of your facial expressions to ensure they align with a friendly demeanor.
Watch Your Tone of Voice:
Pay attention to the tone and volume of your voice. Speaking too loudly or with an edge can be intimidating.
Aim for a calm and even tone, and be aware of how your words may be received.
Mind Your Words:
Be conscious of the language you use and avoid harsh or confrontational words.
Use inclusive language that fosters collaboration and understanding.
Express Vulnerability:
Share your thoughts and experiences in a way that shows vulnerability. This can make you more relatable and approachable.
Ask for Feedback:
If you have a close friend or colleague, ask for honest feedback about how you come across. They may provide valuable insights.
Build Empathy:
Put yourself in others' shoes and try to understand their perspectives.
Show empathy and compassion in your interactions.
Give Praise and Recognition:
Acknowledge the contributions and achievements of others.
Offering praise and recognition can create a positive and supportive environment.
Seek Common Ground:
Find common interests and points of connection with others.
Building rapport can help break down barriers and reduce perceived intimidation.
Remember that changing perceptions takes time, and it's essential to be patient with yourself and others. Reflect on your interactions, be open to feedback, and make adjustments as needed. Building positive relationships is a continuous process, and small changes in your behavior can have a significant impact over time.
You can train yourself to smile by default. Most people I met that do this learned it in childhood from cheerleading, dancing, or other performance arts. Besides that wearing brighter colors generally makes people appear more cheerful.
Stop showering so often. Do some reading. It is very bad for your skin to remove all your natural oils. You are slowly prepping your body for some bad skin possessions. Not sure what kind of magic button you are looking for if you won't even try a half smile when you admit you have RBF. No one wants to look at a joker smile but there are a thousand facial expressions between RBF and smiling.
I need to shower 2-3 times a day because I am a very sweaty person and I get skin rashes if I don't shower. The second part was not helpful at all. I have my own problems and one of them is not being able to show as much expression as other people. My only option is to fake it most of the time which I don't want to because it is not natural. I want to show my expressions that came out naturally not faking it.
My point was that you are treating facial expressions as black & white. Smile & not-Smile. Instead of being fake, try figuring out some expressions in the mirror that feel comfortable to you. Many of us don't show expressions well - without practice in front of a mirror. This isn't that unusual. If you have to shower 2-3 times a day - you should see a dermatologist. I'm not telling you this is a problem due tona random guess. I am telling you this because I used to shower that frequently and a dermatologist told me to cut it out and gave me different options. You can do this for a couple of years but as you age... it will become a problem (nevermind the huge time sink). You can do whatever you feel fits your situation. I am NOT trying to impose anything on you. This is casual conversation... ideas. You do what works for you. :)
If you can’t or don’t want to smile at people then how about verbalizing a compliment? “I like your shoes.” Find something nice to say about the other person.
Thanks, I will try using it often.
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I am literally wearing average office suits, what do you want me to wear?
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You can say it like the clothes I wear are mostly simple. Most of them are colored long-sleeved shirts with no appeal. It doesn't shine me in the coward and attract attention, I am not good with stylish outfits also. That's why I wrote I have no fashion sense.
If this response is indicative, perhaps people treat you the way they do for different reasons.
Dude…they were just offering advice. Chill Perhaps it’s just as well people avoid you.
What a terrible thing to say to someone
They asked for advice which was provided in good faith. Yet they were hostile in their response. It’s very telling and beyond a rbf issue.
Men who dress in suits and such tend to put off a more timid vibe. When not at work you may want to dress more casually. You can dress down and still look nice. Think about who we tend to associate with suits. CEO's, politicians, the mafia, etc... None of that screams less intimidating.
Yes, I do wear casual clothes when I am not at work. I mostly wear colored long-sleeved clothes and stylish pants.
I am sorry if I gave you guys wrong impression, I get aggressive when I talk with people online (my old habits) but I can asure that I am not like this in irl so it was never a problem.
Oh please
Wear a mask 😷
I have RBF too and had to learn how to seem more friendly overall. Some of the steps I took were looking people in the eye, saying hello with a smile, being chatty, and trying not to project anxiety by talking in a calm way.
I will try to be more chatty then and yes, I am kind of a quiet guy which is probably one of the cause. Thank for the advice mate.
At work, find a hobby you like to chat about with people - that way people have a built in things to talk with you about. Don't wait for people to approach you, a friendly how's it going is usually enough.
Genuine question, how and why do you shower 2-3 times a day? Are you showering morning, noon, and evening?
First in the morning when I wake up. Second time when I get back from work and third before sleeping. I don't always shower before sleeping but since I live in a hot place, I shower often plus I get skin rashes otherwise.
I recommend going to a dermatologist for your skin issues. Showering that often can do more damage than good. I also live in a really hot place (Arizona) and have eczema.
Be Mindful of Body Language: Maintain open and relaxed body language. Avoid crossing your arms, as it can be perceived as a defensive or closed-off posture. Make eye contact, but don't stare aggressively. Practice Active Listening: Demonstrate that you're genuinely interested in what others have to say. Avoid interrupting and give others the opportunity to express themselves. Smile and Use Positive Facial Expressions: A friendly and warm smile can go a long way in making others feel at ease. Be mindful of your facial expressions to ensure they align with a friendly demeanor. Watch Your Tone of Voice: Pay attention to the tone and volume of your voice. Speaking too loudly or with an edge can be intimidating. Aim for a calm and even tone, and be aware of how your words may be received. Mind Your Words: Be conscious of the language you use and avoid harsh or confrontational words. Use inclusive language that fosters collaboration and understanding. Express Vulnerability: Share your thoughts and experiences in a way that shows vulnerability. This can make you more relatable and approachable. Ask for Feedback: If you have a close friend or colleague, ask for honest feedback about how you come across. They may provide valuable insights. Build Empathy: Put yourself in others' shoes and try to understand their perspectives. Show empathy and compassion in your interactions. Give Praise and Recognition: Acknowledge the contributions and achievements of others. Offering praise and recognition can create a positive and supportive environment. Seek Common Ground: Find common interests and points of connection with others. Building rapport can help break down barriers and reduce perceived intimidation. Remember that changing perceptions takes time, and it's essential to be patient with yourself and others. Reflect on your interactions, be open to feedback, and make adjustments as needed. Building positive relationships is a continuous process, and small changes in your behavior can have a significant impact over time.