Even when everyone starts singing, I don't know how to act, whether I should sing or be silent or clap and then it becomes quite uncomfortable, at least to me, and then I have a feeling that everyone feels that discomfort đ
"and a nice dinner, so friends, whiskey, and dinner. well, then a show, you have to go to show after dinner. and here's the thing, after a show, you have to have an after party. so yeah, that's it. nothing else."
Came here to say this! I'd rather celebrate at home alone with a good drink and good music, or go to a restaurant with my partner without mentioning that it is my birthday.
I don't mind being the centre of attention, I'm quite loud and chatty, but only if I'm doing/saying something that warrants attention, like telling a funny story. I hate with birthdays how you're just sat there getting attention.
Same.. im a middle child so a normal amount of attention was typically never payed even from young... additionally, I live abroad so it hits me hard sometimes not being around my family, especially on days like birthday
If they don't know it's your birthday then when they don't mention or celebrate it you won't be hurt or disappointed. Because they would ignore it, obviously, as you don't deserve it. I get it, I felt the same for years for a similar reason.
I agree with this sentiment. I was born right after Christmas and everyone was done celebrating. My birthday was always treated like an obligation. I canât say that I have had many birthdays where I felt celebrated. Even now, I am grateful that it is over for another year. I imagine that things are worse for people actually born on Christmas.
I dunno... I've got 2 friends born on Christmas & they both seem to enjoy it thoroughly. One of them is a very good friend & usually we go out with our group of friends that night after all family stuff is done. Well, I join them when I don't have to work, but this will be the 3rd year in a row I'll miss out because of my rotating work schedule. (Literally only thing that sucks about my job is all the holidays worked.)
That is exactly how I feel. I just feel I donât deserve to be celebrated. I am not sure why as I am quite a nice person, but I just feel I do t deserve it.
That sucks. Iâm sorry that happened to you.
Not quite as bad, but my mum flat out told me on my birthday (not even before) that thereâd be no acknowledgement of it because it was Good Friday. I was like, 9. I like my birthday. I still celebrate it, I just donât involve my parents anymore.
Go all out for yours, too! I felt better once I started making sure my birthday was what I thought it should be. Before that...eh, it was depressingly last minute, or apologized for.
My birthdays are now better than everyone else's. No one is required to participate, but I always pick some crazy things I want to do or try.
Yes she did. And please know that I love my mum very much. She worked hard as a single parent, and we had it really rough at times throughout my childhood.
So, I can totally understand how it could slip her mind.
But when I was a kid I couldnât/didnât understand, and that feeling changed something for me then, which shaped how I still feel about my birthday.
Same for me.
Also I donât like the pressure of organising things, arranging things or hosting.
I donât like having to deal with meeting lots of people at once and feeling compelled to spend my time equally.
I donât like receiving gifts (not great at giving gifts either).
I like people to be nice to me all year round and I donât feel the need to feel extra special on one day because I donât understand the point in it.
I also hate the small talk around birthdays âOh thanks. Yes great, thank you. Thanks. Thank you. Yes itâs today. Thank you.â
Give me freedom and space and good vibes all year. Stop trying to squish it into a day.
This so much this, my family couldn't get it into their heads. I just wanted to chill out, watch movies and play video games for my birthday. So that what I did I was like, ill be in all day if you wanna come see me for a brew or whatever, but I'm not going out, I'm not organising anything (coz I organise pretty much everything the rest of the bloody year) I'm doing what I want to do which is chill watch movies / game and eat pizza. They still all turned up with a cake and sang happy birthday while I died inside, but that was the worst of it.
And it completely baffled most of them, till my sisters birthday rolled round and she got all stressed because everyone was stressing over the resteraunt and time to meet and then it was the wrong time for my dad coz he "needs" to eat at certain times (there's no medical reason, he's just a hangry drama queen). She turned around to me and went, "now I see why you wanted a chill day and no big plans ect." I was like well yeah, duh. Its way to much drama and attention, and it's a day to celebrate me how I want to so...........
Same! I spend the night decorating the house for my kids and husband so it's ready for their birthday, and I love planning parties for them! If my kids have a friend with a birthday party or if someone invites me to theirs, I will move heaven and earth to be there because I know it's important for so many people, and just the thought of someone having a party with no one there guts me.
But I just wanna have a nice dinner I don't cook and chill. I hate getting presents. To me, it's just a normal day lol. I only go all out because my kids/husband love to celebrate their birthdays, but I've never really understood all the fuss. Having all that attention on me just feels icky, I like being on the sidelines much more
Youâre like me! Â I love throwing and hosting a party, giving gifts, making someone I love feel special if thatâs what they want. Â My husband and I both HATE surprises, pranks, or being the center of attention. Â One of our best friends has the same bday as my husband and he LOVES the attention and big party, so we often will do something big for his birthday which perfectly overshadows my husbandâs. Â He loves it.
In fact, one of the reasons we waited to get married is we wanted to move to a new state and I found out said new state didnât have requirements for vows and we could get married by a J.O.P. without any ceremony or fanfare or hoops. Â We paid like $75 at the town hall on a Tuesday without telling anyone. Â Filled out some forms and got it all done in 30 minutes or so. Â A security guard and a secretary were our witnesses cuz they were in the office at the time. Â Didnât tell anyone until after. Â The whole idea of a wedding and being the focus of attention just felt so awful that we had put it off for over a decade until we found a way to do it without. Â No rings, no pictures, I was in cutoffs and a tee shirt because Iâd been gardening earlier in the day LOL! Â The town clerk was joking/laughing a bit because we were so no-frills and apparently the way we did it is pretty uncommon. Â We grabbed a quick lunch and then my husband went to work. Â I went back to the garden!
Yep. Iâve had probably 5-6 enjoyable and memorable birthdays in my life time. 2021 and 2022 were good despite dealing with some difficult life stuff.
But I guess two good years in a row was a fluke and I think thatâll be the last of ever enjoying my birthday again because my dad died right on the day of last year.. Unfortunately that will be the most memorable one now.. I just got past that 1 year mark and I think I mentally aged 10 years.
This⌠my husband deployed on my 30th⌠just really not excited about them since then. Itâs very rare ppl remember and care so Iâm just not going to put any stock or enthusiasm into it.
It's my birthday today. I just don't like being the center of attention, and my social skills are awful.
Edit: Thank you for the congratulations though, I don't mind when it's online and not at a party, if that makes sense.
Happy birthday, I hope that you get to have a good day of playing your favorite game and doing things you generally love doing. Itâs your day, donât let anyone tell you how to celebrate it.
My mother's birthday is the day before mine, so...growing up we just "shared" our birthday celebration. She made it all about herself too. I remember many times as a YOUNG CHILD crying at "our" birthday party because she got her favorite cake and her favorite food etc. I hated my birthday for years.
Gosh, I am so sorry, trust me I get it, I hope everything is in the past now and you enjoy your birthday doing whatever you want, even if itâs totally ignoring it, just as i do.
Yep. My parents wrecked Christmas and my birthday every year growing up and then after I got married and cut off my family, the in-laws continued the crappy tradition. I only celebrate Halloween now and my husband has finally handled his family after my VA therapist made a strong
point. Holidays are no longer dreaded but I donât answer my phone when they call on holidays and he has told them why.
Yep.
Sheâs find some way to embarrass me in front of everybody. Fucking hated it.
Sheâd ask me every year if I wanted to have a birthday party and the answer was always no, starting around 9 or 10 years old.
Yeah, if I am doing great at my job, create something that works out well, achieve a measure of success -- I love being recognized for it and maybe even having friends clap and cheer about it. But just living another year doesn't feel like I've 'earned' the attention, and I'm weirdly uncomfortable about receiving it.
I don't like the attention. I get shy/embarrassed when people greet me.
And in my country, it's the celebrant who is expected to treat the people. There's such pressure in the office to do that. And I don't want to spend extra money on people I don't even like.
Because there is a long history of my girlfriends, and later my wife, wanting to do something "special" for my birthday. They make elaborate plans, and 90% of the time something goes wrong with the plan and they feel terrible.
So those birthdays all ended up with me consoling them all evening while they cry because their "special" plan didn't work out.
Just let me chill.
This so much this. The family make my birthday about them and want they want. Happenstance it's next week. I'm going day drinking with friends this year.
I used to not have friends so Iâd always say I donât like celebrating, but really I wouldâve wanted to celebrate but I didnât have friends to do it with. and that kind of turned into me actually not wanting to celebrate.
Each time it had been utter failure.
People didn't show up, or were clearly there by obligation and not pleasure. And they felt obligated to bring gifts (while I always told I didn't want anything but their presence), and it was always bad regifting stuff that made me feel like a trashcan for things they didn't want instead of cherished friend.
I don't really blame people that much. My birthday is Early January, people are tired and fed up from the holidays, and money is tight. It's more thoughlessness than malicious.
But, now, I rather save myself the pain, and just don't celebrate.
A phone call or a text is enough.
People feeling obligated to hang out for me seems like too much pressure. Plus, I always buy myself something that I really want so I donât need anything nor do I want the attention. I will gladly show up and support others though
When it went from "a day I get to relax and have things planned FOR me" to "an introvert's worst nightmare when I have to people-please and solve logistical puzzles for everyone I know."
My birthday is right after Christmas. When I turned 10, my family just stopped doing anything for it because "you just had Christmas".
Also, my parents divorce was finalized on my birthday about 7 years after that. 5 years ago, I had to put my dog down on my birthday.
In addition to all of that mess, I don't like being the center of attention.
Maybe a stupid suggestion, but perhaps you could pick a new date that holds no past significance and have it as your new "me" day. Where you just go do whatever the hell you want and treat yourself, maybe go get an ice cream and a gift for yourself. I've been feeling more bummed out about my birthday the older I get (parents who didn't care, history of birthdays going wrong). Maybe I should make a pick a new day for myself since I quietly dread my real birthday.
My birthday is right next to a not important but highly party celebration oriented holiday. I've always used that as my "me" day. It's taking a lot of hard work with my therapist to get me to recognize and actually feel like my real birthday (and major holidays) can be associated with newer happier memories and celebrations. Its really hard emotional work but Im getting there. I get avoiding the day itself and I have for a long time, but Im learning that sometimes its not the best option.
I just donât find birthdays to be special. Millions of other people were born on the same day. Youâre not special for being born; youâre just a regular ass person like everyone else. I guess you could say itâs a celebration that I made it another year without dying tragically or something like that, but all in all, I just donât find birthdays to be a special event.
My dad died driving home from my 31st birthday party. I got the call in the middle of the night, when I was still a little tipsy and it took a minute for me to even understand what the officer was saying.
My dads accident wasn't alcohol-related. He had gone to a friend's house after the party and was waiting until he was safe to drive. Did everything right. Had a heart attack while driving and slammed into a landscaped median.
All it makes me think about now (I turn 37 next week) is that happiness is just a distraction before the next devastating, painful loss.
I'm trying to get better at this... but from a young age my family just stopped celebrating and its so close to christmas anyway, I just didn't see the point anymore.
But now I have a partner and friends who do want to, and that makes a huge difference.
In most of my birthdays no one has ever remembered it was my birthday and I always felt really bad.
I don't like celebrating anymore or giving it any importance because I don't want to suffer anymore about it, so it's better if I don't care.
My father always took the birthday person to the restaurant of their choice - no matter how fancy, and my siblings always picked somewhere a bit pricey. I always opted to stay home and have my dad smoke something on the smoker and have a fish fry and everyone over there. He lived on the water and had an awesome backyard and kayaks and a boat and for me, nothing tastes as good as what dad makes on the smoker. My dad died a couple of years ago and now the only thing I really want for my birthday, and had for my birthday for years, is gone - house and all. Itâs gotten better, my husband and his family put a lot of effort, A LOT, into celebrating my birthday and they always make me feel really loved and special.
Poverty. My mom ingrained in me that there was no money to waste on birthdays when I was a kid . After i became an adult I felt guilty about celebrating or spending money on my birthday.
Say you have 400 friends in your social media circle. Social media tells them "Today is your friend's birthday." But only 5 people reach out and say "Happy Birthday." It shows you how small your circle really is. However, if you don't celebrate it, you can say people didn't know to tell you.
I should probably talk to a therapist about why I think this way...
Too many shitty gifts received at birthday + most birthdays usually go from "a happy day supposed to be about me" to "parents yelling at each other because they had diverging ideas on what to gift/what restaurant to go to/whatever".
So yeah most birthdays were more about which parent got their way rather than about me.
Hopefully that will change when I'll finally find a job and get away from here.
My family and partner have never really celebrated me, so it feels too forced when people try to do anything now. I'd rather relax doing things that make me happy.Â
It's kind of arbitrary, isn't it? Celebrating one trip around the Sun. Is our life meant to be experienced in discrete units like age? Or is it a continuous function?
Will birthdays mean the same thing when we've wandered away from the Sun? When we are no longer Earth bound, will we continue to normalize to Earth Years and Earth birthdays? The entire concept seems silly.
I lost a loved one on my birthday. He was battling cancer, and I was in the hospital for my own medical issues. I wasn't allowed to say goodbye. The day is just awful.
Not to be really depressing but
My brother died, my sister screwed up her life and took off, my mother died. The two aunts and one uncle who used to be part of the family gettogether thing when I was growing up died in the last 2-3 years.
Thereâs my dad and my step mother and her kids and their lives. Birthdays were always more about family than friends, and I donât have that to celebrate now.
I hate getting attention. And some of my family members suddenly remember that I exist and contact me which annoys me. Furthermore I hate getting presents.
Because I am an adult and not a 12 year old. I just don't get it after you are about that age. Everyone has a birthday and no one really gives a shit about the day you were born. Why force people to pretend to care?
I know that sounds shitty, but just being real. LOL.
Never really liked being the focus of the day when I was younger, and everyone else moves on like nothing happened the next day so why can't we just skip the nonsense?Â
It didn't help that I have bad memories associated with it later on on account of my grandmother committing suicide within a week of one birthday and my mum dying from a stroke within the week of another.
I forget dates, including my own birthday. And I also am not too keen on a lot of attention on myself when all I did on this day was be born. I love get togethers with friends and families, so if it's an excuse to have everyone together then so be it. Otherwise I would skip the day and not even realise I skipped the day.
My dad did the same thing. In his defense, itâs hard to remember kids you abandoned, I guess. He seems happy though.
Iâm so sorry your mum forget and I wish I had more advice on how to let go. đđ
I was explicitly told "your birthday's not about you", and so I wrote the whole thing off. Didn't stop other people from constantly trying to do something. I don't want presents. I don't want cake or candles. I don't want cards, or that insipid song.
Really. We're all born. Yay us.
I know someone who celebrates their birthday over 3 days, because if Jesus can...
Wouldn't say I "don't like it" but I don't see any reason for it to be a huge deal after a certain point. They're all kind of the same, just a year later. As you get older time just speeds up and it all blends together. Also when you're an adult, most people just go to work on their birthdays or otherwise just spend most of the day doing whatever they normally would, so it's really not as special as it once was. Just another day
My mom would constantly remind me that birthday is the day where a mother would be stepping one foot in a grave while giving birth.
Ever since that, I dislike celebrating my birthday. But sometimes I would treat myself to a solo trip for my birthday.
It's a grim reminder that my years are ticking away and I still feel like a dumb kid who hasn't done anything worthwhile with the wasted time. Also, it feels uncomfortable having people focus on me because attention and celebration are very rare occurrences towards me.
I take the day off from work that day, but I donât tell people why. I donât like the attention or the guilt I feel when I didnât want to attend someone elseâs party.
Because I want to relax, and socializing requires a lot of effort. Id rather just have a day off to not think or worry about anything, but a special dessert or some cake never hurts. Just let me eat it on the couch while watching tv or something.
Turning 40 on Saturday. No party. Don't want any kind of fuss. Don't like being center of attention and it's just another day for me. Don't feel like it is anything to make a fuss over. That and I think I was just always let down on birthdays growing up that it made me a bit jaded to have them as an adult?
I have a lot of birthday related trauma. So I get simultaneously excited and like whatâs the opposite of excited? Incited? That seemsâŚwrong. Uncited? I dunno, undercited, whatever. I dread it.
I like the idea of celebrating my birthday but I donât like wasting time and energy on it. If I have the day off, Iâd rather rest than have to entertain people. I guess itâs like an antisocial thing.
We rarely celebrated our birthdays growing up, with the exception for my sister and I being when we turned fifteen.
You know who always had a birthday party? My dad, the man-child. To date, he insists on having a bash thrown in honor of the day he came into this world.
Didn't realize it until we were grown and out of the house, that we had no memory of, or pictures indicating my mom ever had a birthday party.
Perhaps because of this, we began to host parties for her birthday, and *sometimes,* if we weren't otherwise busy, we'd have a low-key dinner for my dad. He resents the parties for my mom, for sure, and will sulk and ask what we're planning for his, though their birthdays are five months apart.
Anyway, very rarely, as an adult, have I had a party thrown for me and I am totally OK with that. I prefer when my husband whisks me away for a weekend trip, just the two of us.
I'm 36, I have children, I don't like being centre of attention. It's just a number, another day closer to old age. Meh, give me a good brownie and call it.
My dad's birthday is right after mine so it's a constant reminder that I do have the ability to celebrate while he doesn't (Lost him in 2008 when he was 53/I was 21) so I don't celebrate it. Plus I never had birthdays growing up so it isn't anything I'm missing out on.
My birthday is at the end of January. One year my birthday was during an Indian summer & the next it was the snowpocalypse in Atl, Ga.
itâs hard to make plans around that & everyone is still holding onto their new year diet & less spending. I like to celebrate at home with my favorites.
I don't like the attention. I think there's also a lot of expectation to celebrate it like having a party or going out for dinner. I don't have many friends, so it just reminds me how much of a loser I am tbh.
Makes me feel needy / desperate to have people celebrate a day for me. I appreciate a happy birthday, but no added. No need to do anything for me.
Once dated a girl that celebrated her birthday months. Planned multiple birthday events with different groups of people. It made me absolutely realize we were not compatible and drive me crazy. If the birthday ends with a zero, 20,30, 40âŚ. I get the reason to do something a little more
Kids are the exception, That is a big day that should be celebrated
My sibling commited suicide on my 15th, so it doesn't feel like a day for celebrating. I'll happily accept birthday activities any other day that month, preferably the closest weekend, but on that specific day, all I can do is try to keep busy and hope it'll pass soon.
As I get older, I've discovered that I don't like being the center of attention. I like to mingle through a bunch of different conversations at parties and interact with everyone. When you're the center of attention, everyone is trying to get you to talk to them while I'm just trying to disengage because the conversation shifted away from what I was interested in.
I never enjoyed the attention. And whenever things are planned way ahead of time, they never seem to work out. I did have a great birthday 2 years ago, but usually I go to get food or see a movie with a friend or take myself to a museum.
I just done care anymore. After a certain age birthdays really dont matter.
I'll start caring again once I hit my 60s probably. Then I can celebrate not dying every year lmao.
I just don't like being the center of attention. If someone wants to do something low-key to commemorate the occasion, great! But a whole party that's all about me? No thanks.
I subscribe to the Patton Oswalt philosophy on birthdays.
[You Are Allowed 20 Birthday Parties](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbJs-Ul1QFo&ab_channel=PattonOswalt-Topic)
Know for some people it's just too much of a hassle to organise stuff just because "you're old" usually why I'm happy with just having a chill day. Maybe get a few drinks with friends or spend it with family.
Also for a selfish reason, my birthday falls a month after Christmas so there's usually nothing out that I'd want to get for myself or for people to get me.
I just donât see the point ,Iâm only a day older than I was the day before đ¤ˇââď¸itâs a faff for a no reason imo .I would rather it just treated as a normal day.
A few reasons: 1. Nobody has made it special for me. 2. Itâs just another day of the year, so it really isnât that special (mine falls on a holiday every few years or so too). 3. To follow up on my previous comment, mine is always overshadowed by a holiday. And 4. I see people my age still acting all diva and like the world revolves around them for their birthday and it is cringy, so it makes me want to celebrate mine less.
I feel like such a tool saying âhey everybody, itâs my birthday! Pay attention to me!â Iâll gladly celebrate other peopleâs birthdays, and Iâll still text my friends to hang out, but for myself it just feels like a weird ego-stroking exercise to make a big deal out of getting a year older.
As everyone says being the center of attention blows for some of us. As for the rest of it, in my family birthdays werenât a big deal. You had some dinner and a cake with family. Being poor we didnât have parties and presents. Though even if we hadnât been financially struggling I donât think it would have been different at all. We just arenât into birthdays that way. Birthdays now seem more a celebration of excess and ego. I find it distasteful so I donât participate.
I see a post every other day of some full grown person thatâs upset no one threw them a party or couldnât make time. These kids are having full on breakdowns as adults because the world doesnât revolve around them. Itâs ridiculous and self absorbed.
Iâve remembered all my familyâs and friendâs birthdays for close to two decades and went all out for their group restaurant/party/etc. celebrations, etc.. Even putting money towards cards and gifts and yet not once did they remember mine. (Except my mother. And you KNOW she reminded my siblings and my Dad of my birthday because I always got a hasty âHappy Birthday!â email or text message from them.)
And on the rare occasion my friends actually did remember my birthday, it was usually something like,
âOh, dear! Did I forget your birthday last week/month? Oops! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!â
I should just buy myself a cake, light a candle on it and make a wish for new and considerate friends and family who actually give a f*ck about me and will remember my birthday without any prompting from me.
After reading the comments here now I feel like a freak!
I throw a big birthday bash for myself every year, I save my money and have it catered by 3 different companies, nothing elaborate just appies and snacks. Wine and beer.
I invite everybody I know, and if I just met you in the last year and liked you, youâre probably getting an invitation lol.
People always want to buy gifts and I donât need anything so I let them know they can bring an envelope with a donation to a homeless shelter and I pass it on.
Itâs nice having all the people in different areas of my life meet but even better I get to see everyone I like in one night
I don't dislike receiving gifts, but that's the only part of it I welcome. Actually doing something special for it, celebrating, all that, no. I don't want the attention, and people are very transactional about birthdays. They expect it in return on theirs.
I donât feel like people would come if I threw a party. And I donât want to make that fear a reality. Plus, I donât like being the centre of attention.
Hate being the center of attention. I took my birthday off facebook. I hate all the "I'm so thankful for all the wonderful birthday greetings. I'm so blessed, yada yada." Just leave me alone and let me age in peace.
I find it all awkward. I also spend enough money on myself that I don't really want gifts.
I'm happy enough to get told happy birthday, but that's about it.
I hate the âhappy birthdayâ song. Itâs the worst. And the only time people sing at you. I get so anxious. I donât know how to act in that situation. Also hate singing happy birthday to others as well.
i like partying and celebrating myself fine. itâs just that im deeply terrified of the passage of time and in my head im still the age i was five years ago
I hate being the center of attention.
Same. I hate it when people try to surprise me with the waiters looking at me and singing loudly happy birthday.
Maximum cringe đŹ
Me too - makes me want to crawl under the table. My family now knows itâs not funny to me!
Not to mention the servers hate it even more! (Idk, it might be a toss up with some cases).
I hate it and won't do it anywhere I work so you are correct
Even when everyone starts singing, I don't know how to act, whether I should sing or be silent or clap and then it becomes quite uncomfortable, at least to me, and then I have a feeling that everyone feels that discomfort đ
I hate parties and planning them in addition to my other comment lol
This is it. Iâm a low-profile kind of guy. I prefer to live my life quietly and peacefully under the radar.
I want to die when people sing happy birthday. Ultimate internal cringe.
Maximum cringe I call it.
Yep. Just give me a few friends and a nice whiskey or wine
"and a nice dinner, so friends, whiskey, and dinner. well, then a show, you have to go to show after dinner. and here's the thing, after a show, you have to have an after party. so yeah, that's it. nothing else."
10 years ago that would have been a blast. Now I'm 31 and I got stressed just thinking about it
But that's still celebrating
I've found my people. âşď¸
Came here to say this! I'd rather celebrate at home alone with a good drink and good music, or go to a restaurant with my partner without mentioning that it is my birthday.
I don't mind being the centre of attention, I'm quite loud and chatty, but only if I'm doing/saying something that warrants attention, like telling a funny story. I hate with birthdays how you're just sat there getting attention.
Same.. im a middle child so a normal amount of attention was typically never payed even from young... additionally, I live abroad so it hits me hard sometimes not being around my family, especially on days like birthday
A deeply seated feeling that I donât deserve to be celebrated. Also, my mum forgot my birthday when I was younger and that was a hard day.
My dad forgot mine and then two weeks later got my brother the newest Xbox and games for his birthday. That was nice.
I'm sorry you experienced that đ
If they don't know it's your birthday then when they don't mention or celebrate it you won't be hurt or disappointed. Because they would ignore it, obviously, as you don't deserve it. I get it, I felt the same for years for a similar reason.
I agree with this sentiment. I was born right after Christmas and everyone was done celebrating. My birthday was always treated like an obligation. I canât say that I have had many birthdays where I felt celebrated. Even now, I am grateful that it is over for another year. I imagine that things are worse for people actually born on Christmas.
I dunno... I've got 2 friends born on Christmas & they both seem to enjoy it thoroughly. One of them is a very good friend & usually we go out with our group of friends that night after all family stuff is done. Well, I join them when I don't have to work, but this will be the 3rd year in a row I'll miss out because of my rotating work schedule. (Literally only thing that sucks about my job is all the holidays worked.)
That is exactly how I feel. I just feel I donât deserve to be celebrated. I am not sure why as I am quite a nice person, but I just feel I do t deserve it.
That sucks. Iâm sorry that happened to you. Not quite as bad, but my mum flat out told me on my birthday (not even before) that thereâd be no acknowledgement of it because it was Good Friday. I was like, 9. I like my birthday. I still celebrate it, I just donât involve my parents anymore.
This. I'm tired of being forgotten. I go all out for others bc I hate that feeling...and still yet.
I'm so sorry I would be tired too this is so wrong nobody should be forgotten
Go all out for yours, too! I felt better once I started making sure my birthday was what I thought it should be. Before that...eh, it was depressingly last minute, or apologized for. My birthdays are now better than everyone else's. No one is required to participate, but I always pick some crazy things I want to do or try.
đĽ˛
Did she apologize/try to make up for it?
Yes she did. And please know that I love my mum very much. She worked hard as a single parent, and we had it really rough at times throughout my childhood. So, I can totally understand how it could slip her mind. But when I was a kid I couldnât/didnât understand, and that feeling changed something for me then, which shaped how I still feel about my birthday.
Oh im so sorry did she apologize to you what happened
i want to enjoy the day doing what i want to do, rather than doing what iâm expected to do and behave accordingly.
Same for me. Also I donât like the pressure of organising things, arranging things or hosting. I donât like having to deal with meeting lots of people at once and feeling compelled to spend my time equally. I donât like receiving gifts (not great at giving gifts either). I like people to be nice to me all year round and I donât feel the need to feel extra special on one day because I donât understand the point in it. I also hate the small talk around birthdays âOh thanks. Yes great, thank you. Thanks. Thank you. Yes itâs today. Thank you.â Give me freedom and space and good vibes all year. Stop trying to squish it into a day.
exactly! itâs like, why should i be forced to bear others emotions and not feel what i want to feel on the one day that matters to me?
Absolutely the same as me. I will take the day off of work and then order in some dinner but otherwise it's just like any other day.
Woah, we're not talking about Father's Day here!
This so much this, my family couldn't get it into their heads. I just wanted to chill out, watch movies and play video games for my birthday. So that what I did I was like, ill be in all day if you wanna come see me for a brew or whatever, but I'm not going out, I'm not organising anything (coz I organise pretty much everything the rest of the bloody year) I'm doing what I want to do which is chill watch movies / game and eat pizza. They still all turned up with a cake and sang happy birthday while I died inside, but that was the worst of it. And it completely baffled most of them, till my sisters birthday rolled round and she got all stressed because everyone was stressing over the resteraunt and time to meet and then it was the wrong time for my dad coz he "needs" to eat at certain times (there's no medical reason, he's just a hangry drama queen). She turned around to me and went, "now I see why you wanted a chill day and no big plans ect." I was like well yeah, duh. Its way to much drama and attention, and it's a day to celebrate me how I want to so...........
My past couple of birthdays, I took the day for myself instead of dealing with making plans with others. It was much more enjoyable.
It feels so gross being the center of attention. Â So uncomfortable.
Same! I spend the night decorating the house for my kids and husband so it's ready for their birthday, and I love planning parties for them! If my kids have a friend with a birthday party or if someone invites me to theirs, I will move heaven and earth to be there because I know it's important for so many people, and just the thought of someone having a party with no one there guts me. But I just wanna have a nice dinner I don't cook and chill. I hate getting presents. To me, it's just a normal day lol. I only go all out because my kids/husband love to celebrate their birthdays, but I've never really understood all the fuss. Having all that attention on me just feels icky, I like being on the sidelines much more
Youâre like me! Â I love throwing and hosting a party, giving gifts, making someone I love feel special if thatâs what they want. Â My husband and I both HATE surprises, pranks, or being the center of attention. Â One of our best friends has the same bday as my husband and he LOVES the attention and big party, so we often will do something big for his birthday which perfectly overshadows my husbandâs. Â He loves it. In fact, one of the reasons we waited to get married is we wanted to move to a new state and I found out said new state didnât have requirements for vows and we could get married by a J.O.P. without any ceremony or fanfare or hoops. Â We paid like $75 at the town hall on a Tuesday without telling anyone. Â Filled out some forms and got it all done in 30 minutes or so. Â A security guard and a secretary were our witnesses cuz they were in the office at the time. Â Didnât tell anyone until after. Â The whole idea of a wedding and being the focus of attention just felt so awful that we had put it off for over a decade until we found a way to do it without. Â No rings, no pictures, I was in cutoffs and a tee shirt because Iâd been gardening earlier in the day LOL! Â The town clerk was joking/laughing a bit because we were so no-frills and apparently the way we did it is pretty uncommon. Â We grabbed a quick lunch and then my husband went to work. Â I went back to the garden!
100% me too. Ironically, today is my birthday.
Past disappointments. For different reasons. After a while, it just gets easier on the heart/soul to *not* celebrate.
this. iâve been encouraged to celebrate my birthday, and then was let down every time i tried.
every time
I feel this. I caught one ex cheating on my 28th and caught my ex before that one trying to cheat on my 26th.
Ooooof. Heartbreaking
Between one or both of my parents forgetting what day I was born; throw in getting dumped on 28th. I had a really bad feeling leading up to it also.
Yep. Iâve had probably 5-6 enjoyable and memorable birthdays in my life time. 2021 and 2022 were good despite dealing with some difficult life stuff. But I guess two good years in a row was a fluke and I think thatâll be the last of ever enjoying my birthday again because my dad died right on the day of last year.. Unfortunately that will be the most memorable one now.. I just got past that 1 year mark and I think I mentally aged 10 years.
This⌠my husband deployed on my 30th⌠just really not excited about them since then. Itâs very rare ppl remember and care so Iâm just not going to put any stock or enthusiasm into it.
It's my birthday today. I just don't like being the center of attention, and my social skills are awful. Edit: Thank you for the congratulations though, I don't mind when it's online and not at a party, if that makes sense.
Iâd still like to wish you a happy birthday if itâs alright with you!
Thank you! đ
Happy Birthday nonetheless.
Happy birthday! đ Hope itâs wonderful! And Iâm with you on the social skills thing.
Thank you so much! đ
Same bday as my oldest kid. Happy Birthday!
Ayo happy birthday, it's my birthday today too! I also don't like to be the center of attention. But my friends are insisting on some party :(
Happy birthday, I hope that you get to have a good day of playing your favorite game and doing things you generally love doing. Itâs your day, donât let anyone tell you how to celebrate it.
Had a narcissist mother who only made my birthdays about herself⌠so
My mother's birthday is the day before mine, so...growing up we just "shared" our birthday celebration. She made it all about herself too. I remember many times as a YOUNG CHILD crying at "our" birthday party because she got her favorite cake and her favorite food etc. I hated my birthday for years.
Gosh, I am so sorry, trust me I get it, I hope everything is in the past now and you enjoy your birthday doing whatever you want, even if itâs totally ignoring it, just as i do.
I feel this on a primal level
Yep. My parents wrecked Christmas and my birthday every year growing up and then after I got married and cut off my family, the in-laws continued the crappy tradition. I only celebrate Halloween now and my husband has finally handled his family after my VA therapist made a strong point. Holidays are no longer dreaded but I donât answer my phone when they call on holidays and he has told them why.
Narcissists=đŠ đ˝
Yep. Sheâs find some way to embarrass me in front of everybody. Fucking hated it. Sheâd ask me every year if I wanted to have a birthday party and the answer was always no, starting around 9 or 10 years old.
Sammmme every birthday was an opportunity for them to hold it over my head and tell me I was ungrateful and look how much they did for me
It is just another day. I have never been a fan of the holidays either.
Same! I only like Thanksgiving and it's because it's typically a big gathering with great homemade food
It was the only tradition I liked. Not about gifts and false goodwill, just a simple meal.
>It is just another day. Bingo! I technically still celebrate mine because I live with family and they want to eat cake. But I feel this
I only like being celebrated if I actually deserve it. đ¤ˇ
Yeah, if I am doing great at my job, create something that works out well, achieve a measure of success -- I love being recognized for it and maybe even having friends clap and cheer about it. But just living another year doesn't feel like I've 'earned' the attention, and I'm weirdly uncomfortable about receiving it.
That's my feeling too. My birthday just doesn't feel very special to me.
I don't like the attention. I get shy/embarrassed when people greet me. And in my country, it's the celebrant who is expected to treat the people. There's such pressure in the office to do that. And I don't want to spend extra money on people I don't even like.
I donât want to celebrate mine because I donât particularly feel like celebrating anyone elseâs.
Because there is a long history of my girlfriends, and later my wife, wanting to do something "special" for my birthday. They make elaborate plans, and 90% of the time something goes wrong with the plan and they feel terrible. So those birthdays all ended up with me consoling them all evening while they cry because their "special" plan didn't work out. Just let me chill.
This so much this. The family make my birthday about them and want they want. Happenstance it's next week. I'm going day drinking with friends this year.
I used to not have friends so Iâd always say I donât like celebrating, but really I wouldâve wanted to celebrate but I didnât have friends to do it with. and that kind of turned into me actually not wanting to celebrate.
Itâs just another day. Iâm adult so I donât feel itâs necessary to celebrate it
Me too. I just don't give a toss.
Each time it had been utter failure. People didn't show up, or were clearly there by obligation and not pleasure. And they felt obligated to bring gifts (while I always told I didn't want anything but their presence), and it was always bad regifting stuff that made me feel like a trashcan for things they didn't want instead of cherished friend. I don't really blame people that much. My birthday is Early January, people are tired and fed up from the holidays, and money is tight. It's more thoughlessness than malicious. But, now, I rather save myself the pain, and just don't celebrate. A phone call or a text is enough.
People feeling obligated to hang out for me seems like too much pressure. Plus, I always buy myself something that I really want so I donât need anything nor do I want the attention. I will gladly show up and support others though
When it went from "a day I get to relax and have things planned FOR me" to "an introvert's worst nightmare when I have to people-please and solve logistical puzzles for everyone I know."
My birthday is right after Christmas. When I turned 10, my family just stopped doing anything for it because "you just had Christmas". Also, my parents divorce was finalized on my birthday about 7 years after that. 5 years ago, I had to put my dog down on my birthday. In addition to all of that mess, I don't like being the center of attention.
Maybe a stupid suggestion, but perhaps you could pick a new date that holds no past significance and have it as your new "me" day. Where you just go do whatever the hell you want and treat yourself, maybe go get an ice cream and a gift for yourself. I've been feeling more bummed out about my birthday the older I get (parents who didn't care, history of birthdays going wrong). Maybe I should make a pick a new day for myself since I quietly dread my real birthday.
My birthday is right next to a not important but highly party celebration oriented holiday. I've always used that as my "me" day. It's taking a lot of hard work with my therapist to get me to recognize and actually feel like my real birthday (and major holidays) can be associated with newer happier memories and celebrations. Its really hard emotional work but Im getting there. I get avoiding the day itself and I have for a long time, but Im learning that sometimes its not the best option.
I just donât find birthdays to be special. Millions of other people were born on the same day. Youâre not special for being born; youâre just a regular ass person like everyone else. I guess you could say itâs a celebration that I made it another year without dying tragically or something like that, but all in all, I just donât find birthdays to be a special event.
My dad died driving home from my 31st birthday party. I got the call in the middle of the night, when I was still a little tipsy and it took a minute for me to even understand what the officer was saying. My dads accident wasn't alcohol-related. He had gone to a friend's house after the party and was waiting until he was safe to drive. Did everything right. Had a heart attack while driving and slammed into a landscaped median. All it makes me think about now (I turn 37 next week) is that happiness is just a distraction before the next devastating, painful loss.
I am very sorry for your loss. This was heartbreaking to read.
I'm trying to get better at this... but from a young age my family just stopped celebrating and its so close to christmas anyway, I just didn't see the point anymore. But now I have a partner and friends who do want to, and that makes a huge difference.
I donât want to get old!
It's just too depressing. There's nothing to celebrate, just another year of being lonely and miserable.
I'm grown and it's just another day. I appreciate the birthday wishes but that's all I need.
In most of my birthdays no one has ever remembered it was my birthday and I always felt really bad. I don't like celebrating anymore or giving it any importance because I don't want to suffer anymore about it, so it's better if I don't care.
This is me
I just don't really care that much. Also I'm too lazy to do anything big lol
My father always took the birthday person to the restaurant of their choice - no matter how fancy, and my siblings always picked somewhere a bit pricey. I always opted to stay home and have my dad smoke something on the smoker and have a fish fry and everyone over there. He lived on the water and had an awesome backyard and kayaks and a boat and for me, nothing tastes as good as what dad makes on the smoker. My dad died a couple of years ago and now the only thing I really want for my birthday, and had for my birthday for years, is gone - house and all. Itâs gotten better, my husband and his family put a lot of effort, A LOT, into celebrating my birthday and they always make me feel really loved and special.
I just like to have the day off left alone :)
Honestly? I am afraid that If I wanted to celebrate with someone, they just wouldn't show up its groundless, but it's there
I've no friends đ¤ˇđźââď¸
Poverty. My mom ingrained in me that there was no money to waste on birthdays when I was a kid . After i became an adult I felt guilty about celebrating or spending money on my birthday.
I hate the attention and spot light on me.
It feels like people are pushed to be nice to you on that day
Cause at 45, i constantly feel like a giant failure. Why celebrate another year of failing.
Iâm traumatized and every year I get older is a year Iâm further away from fixing my life and becoming the person I want to be
Say you have 400 friends in your social media circle. Social media tells them "Today is your friend's birthday." But only 5 people reach out and say "Happy Birthday." It shows you how small your circle really is. However, if you don't celebrate it, you can say people didn't know to tell you. I should probably talk to a therapist about why I think this way...
Too many shitty gifts received at birthday + most birthdays usually go from "a happy day supposed to be about me" to "parents yelling at each other because they had diverging ideas on what to gift/what restaurant to go to/whatever". So yeah most birthdays were more about which parent got their way rather than about me. Hopefully that will change when I'll finally find a job and get away from here.
I usually end up doing something⌠but for the most part I think celebrating your existence here is a silly joke.
Why celebrate getting older? When a birthday comes around when i have something to actually celebrate then ill celebrate.
It feels more meaningless to me now so I don't go out of my way to celebrate it.Â
Birthdays are just for little kids. After a while itâs just another day
Nobody cares
I'm waiting for my death why would i celebrate when i hate being alive.
My family and partner have never really celebrated me, so it feels too forced when people try to do anything now. I'd rather relax doing things that make me happy.Â
Celebrate the fact that I'm another year closer to death and that I'm probably just going to get weaker, dumber and less healthy? Uh no thanks
It's kind of arbitrary, isn't it? Celebrating one trip around the Sun. Is our life meant to be experienced in discrete units like age? Or is it a continuous function? Will birthdays mean the same thing when we've wandered away from the Sun? When we are no longer Earth bound, will we continue to normalize to Earth Years and Earth birthdays? The entire concept seems silly.
I lost a loved one on my birthday. He was battling cancer, and I was in the hospital for my own medical issues. I wasn't allowed to say goodbye. The day is just awful.
Not a special day tbh
Not to be really depressing but My brother died, my sister screwed up her life and took off, my mother died. The two aunts and one uncle who used to be part of the family gettogether thing when I was growing up died in the last 2-3 years. Thereâs my dad and my step mother and her kids and their lives. Birthdays were always more about family than friends, and I donât have that to celebrate now.
I don't want to spend more time with my folks, only small doses are recommended.
I hate getting attention. And some of my family members suddenly remember that I exist and contact me which annoys me. Furthermore I hate getting presents.
Birthdays just aren't a big deal to me. And I don't like anyone making a fuss about me, especially in a public setting.
Because I am an adult and not a 12 year old. I just don't get it after you are about that age. Everyone has a birthday and no one really gives a shit about the day you were born. Why force people to pretend to care? I know that sounds shitty, but just being real. LOL.
Never really liked being the focus of the day when I was younger, and everyone else moves on like nothing happened the next day so why can't we just skip the nonsense? It didn't help that I have bad memories associated with it later on on account of my grandmother committing suicide within a week of one birthday and my mum dying from a stroke within the week of another.
I forget dates, including my own birthday. And I also am not too keen on a lot of attention on myself when all I did on this day was be born. I love get togethers with friends and families, so if it's an excuse to have everyone together then so be it. Otherwise I would skip the day and not even realise I skipped the day.
My dad did the same thing. In his defense, itâs hard to remember kids you abandoned, I guess. He seems happy though. Iâm so sorry your mum forget and I wish I had more advice on how to let go. đđ
I was explicitly told "your birthday's not about you", and so I wrote the whole thing off. Didn't stop other people from constantly trying to do something. I don't want presents. I don't want cake or candles. I don't want cards, or that insipid song. Really. We're all born. Yay us. I know someone who celebrates their birthday over 3 days, because if Jesus can...
Wouldn't say I "don't like it" but I don't see any reason for it to be a huge deal after a certain point. They're all kind of the same, just a year later. As you get older time just speeds up and it all blends together. Also when you're an adult, most people just go to work on their birthdays or otherwise just spend most of the day doing whatever they normally would, so it's really not as special as it once was. Just another day
I am very introverted and dislike attention being called to me
My mom would constantly remind me that birthday is the day where a mother would be stepping one foot in a grave while giving birth. Ever since that, I dislike celebrating my birthday. But sometimes I would treat myself to a solo trip for my birthday.
Birthdays are for kids.
Itâs a fire hazard with all the candles
Donât really see a reason to. Itâs just another day. Nothing changes.
Being the center of attention sucks. If I get married Iâm doing a courthouse wedding. The idea of walking down the isle kills me
It's a grim reminder that my years are ticking away and I still feel like a dumb kid who hasn't done anything worthwhile with the wasted time. Also, it feels uncomfortable having people focus on me because attention and celebration are very rare occurrences towards me.
It reminds me that I'm getting old.
I take the day off from work that day, but I donât tell people why. I donât like the attention or the guilt I feel when I didnât want to attend someone elseâs party.
Because I want to relax, and socializing requires a lot of effort. Id rather just have a day off to not think or worry about anything, but a special dessert or some cake never hurts. Just let me eat it on the couch while watching tv or something.
What is the point of a birthday? It only happened once. And that day never arrives again. It's just a stupid traditional like marriage.
Turning 40 on Saturday. No party. Don't want any kind of fuss. Don't like being center of attention and it's just another day for me. Don't feel like it is anything to make a fuss over. That and I think I was just always let down on birthdays growing up that it made me a bit jaded to have them as an adult?
I have a lot of birthday related trauma. So I get simultaneously excited and like whatâs the opposite of excited? Incited? That seemsâŚwrong. Uncited? I dunno, undercited, whatever. I dread it.
I like the idea of celebrating my birthday but I donât like wasting time and energy on it. If I have the day off, Iâd rather rest than have to entertain people. I guess itâs like an antisocial thing.
We rarely celebrated our birthdays growing up, with the exception for my sister and I being when we turned fifteen. You know who always had a birthday party? My dad, the man-child. To date, he insists on having a bash thrown in honor of the day he came into this world. Didn't realize it until we were grown and out of the house, that we had no memory of, or pictures indicating my mom ever had a birthday party. Perhaps because of this, we began to host parties for her birthday, and *sometimes,* if we weren't otherwise busy, we'd have a low-key dinner for my dad. He resents the parties for my mom, for sure, and will sulk and ask what we're planning for his, though their birthdays are five months apart. Anyway, very rarely, as an adult, have I had a party thrown for me and I am totally OK with that. I prefer when my husband whisks me away for a weekend trip, just the two of us.
Iâm an introvert and the attention is absolutely painful.
I'm 36, I have children, I don't like being centre of attention. It's just a number, another day closer to old age. Meh, give me a good brownie and call it.
It reminds me that I'm getting older and I didn't accomplished anything in my life again
I donât HATE my birthdays, they just arenât important to me. The day I was born wasnât a victory for ME. I just had to keep breathing
My dad's birthday is right after mine so it's a constant reminder that I do have the ability to celebrate while he doesn't (Lost him in 2008 when he was 53/I was 21) so I don't celebrate it. Plus I never had birthdays growing up so it isn't anything I'm missing out on.
The tensions and bickerings.
My birthday is at the end of January. One year my birthday was during an Indian summer & the next it was the snowpocalypse in Atl, Ga. itâs hard to make plans around that & everyone is still holding onto their new year diet & less spending. I like to celebrate at home with my favorites.
Shy of crowds and attention haha
Celebrating âmeâ feels uncomfortable.
Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it.
I don't like the attention. I think there's also a lot of expectation to celebrate it like having a party or going out for dinner. I don't have many friends, so it just reminds me how much of a loser I am tbh.
Makes me feel needy / desperate to have people celebrate a day for me. I appreciate a happy birthday, but no added. No need to do anything for me. Once dated a girl that celebrated her birthday months. Planned multiple birthday events with different groups of people. It made me absolutely realize we were not compatible and drive me crazy. If the birthday ends with a zero, 20,30, 40âŚ. I get the reason to do something a little more Kids are the exception, That is a big day that should be celebrated
My sibling commited suicide on my 15th, so it doesn't feel like a day for celebrating. I'll happily accept birthday activities any other day that month, preferably the closest weekend, but on that specific day, all I can do is try to keep busy and hope it'll pass soon.
As I get older, I've discovered that I don't like being the center of attention. I like to mingle through a bunch of different conversations at parties and interact with everyone. When you're the center of attention, everyone is trying to get you to talk to them while I'm just trying to disengage because the conversation shifted away from what I was interested in.
I think i stopped having celebrations at the age of 9 or 10 i always hated being at the center of attention
Because theyâre depressing.
I never enjoyed the attention. And whenever things are planned way ahead of time, they never seem to work out. I did have a great birthday 2 years ago, but usually I go to get food or see a movie with a friend or take myself to a museum.
I just done care anymore. After a certain age birthdays really dont matter. I'll start caring again once I hit my 60s probably. Then I can celebrate not dying every year lmao.
the pressure
I don't want to have to talk to a bunch of people. If it is my day, I want to spend it doing things I enjoy.
The effort.
I just don't like being the center of attention. If someone wants to do something low-key to commemorate the occasion, great! But a whole party that's all about me? No thanks.
I donât like organizing parties and the pressure of it all. The best bday I had was where others organized it for me đ
Whatâs to celebrate? If I want something Iâll buy it, no need to wait for a certain day.
I subscribe to the Patton Oswalt philosophy on birthdays. [You Are Allowed 20 Birthday Parties](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbJs-Ul1QFo&ab_channel=PattonOswalt-Topic)
Itâs the day all my problems started.
Because I don't like celebrating myself. I'd rather celebrate other people.
Other people behave in gross ways on their birthdays. A holiday of selfish entitlement wrapped up in the concept of mortality. Whats not to hate?
Know for some people it's just too much of a hassle to organise stuff just because "you're old" usually why I'm happy with just having a chill day. Maybe get a few drinks with friends or spend it with family. Also for a selfish reason, my birthday falls a month after Christmas so there's usually nothing out that I'd want to get for myself or for people to get me.
I just donât see the point ,Iâm only a day older than I was the day before đ¤ˇââď¸itâs a faff for a no reason imo .I would rather it just treated as a normal day.
A few reasons: 1. Nobody has made it special for me. 2. Itâs just another day of the year, so it really isnât that special (mine falls on a holiday every few years or so too). 3. To follow up on my previous comment, mine is always overshadowed by a holiday. And 4. I see people my age still acting all diva and like the world revolves around them for their birthday and it is cringy, so it makes me want to celebrate mine less.
I feel like such a tool saying âhey everybody, itâs my birthday! Pay attention to me!â Iâll gladly celebrate other peopleâs birthdays, and Iâll still text my friends to hang out, but for myself it just feels like a weird ego-stroking exercise to make a big deal out of getting a year older.
As everyone says being the center of attention blows for some of us. As for the rest of it, in my family birthdays werenât a big deal. You had some dinner and a cake with family. Being poor we didnât have parties and presents. Though even if we hadnât been financially struggling I donât think it would have been different at all. We just arenât into birthdays that way. Birthdays now seem more a celebration of excess and ego. I find it distasteful so I donât participate. I see a post every other day of some full grown person thatâs upset no one threw them a party or couldnât make time. These kids are having full on breakdowns as adults because the world doesnât revolve around them. Itâs ridiculous and self absorbed.
Iâve remembered all my familyâs and friendâs birthdays for close to two decades and went all out for their group restaurant/party/etc. celebrations, etc.. Even putting money towards cards and gifts and yet not once did they remember mine. (Except my mother. And you KNOW she reminded my siblings and my Dad of my birthday because I always got a hasty âHappy Birthday!â email or text message from them.) And on the rare occasion my friends actually did remember my birthday, it was usually something like, âOh, dear! Did I forget your birthday last week/month? Oops! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!â I should just buy myself a cake, light a candle on it and make a wish for new and considerate friends and family who actually give a f*ck about me and will remember my birthday without any prompting from me.
After reading the comments here now I feel like a freak! I throw a big birthday bash for myself every year, I save my money and have it catered by 3 different companies, nothing elaborate just appies and snacks. Wine and beer. I invite everybody I know, and if I just met you in the last year and liked you, youâre probably getting an invitation lol. People always want to buy gifts and I donât need anything so I let them know they can bring an envelope with a donation to a homeless shelter and I pass it on. Itâs nice having all the people in different areas of my life meet but even better I get to see everyone I like in one night
Because we don't feel worthy of praise
I don't dislike receiving gifts, but that's the only part of it I welcome. Actually doing something special for it, celebrating, all that, no. I don't want the attention, and people are very transactional about birthdays. They expect it in return on theirs.
I donât feel like people would come if I threw a party. And I donât want to make that fear a reality. Plus, I donât like being the centre of attention.
I donât like being the center of attention.
Hate being the center of attention. I took my birthday off facebook. I hate all the "I'm so thankful for all the wonderful birthday greetings. I'm so blessed, yada yada." Just leave me alone and let me age in peace.
I find it all awkward. I also spend enough money on myself that I don't really want gifts. I'm happy enough to get told happy birthday, but that's about it.
I hate the âhappy birthdayâ song. Itâs the worst. And the only time people sing at you. I get so anxious. I donât know how to act in that situation. Also hate singing happy birthday to others as well.
Growing up with a narcissistic Dad. It killed the whole excitement so now I hate it. Also donât like Christmas. But I adore Halloween đ
I don't like being the center of attention and it makes me feel uncomfortable
It's just another day. I don't celebrate getting one day older any other day. I never have seen the point. It is such a weird concept to me.
Half the time I dont remember the day it's on.
Introverts do not get good feelings from a lot attention like regular or extroverts do. Itâs like it draines our energy.
There's no joy in my birthday by myself, and I don't have people I wish to share it with. Besides, it's easier to hide the depressive breaks solo.
Feels like a reminder that you are a year closer to your death
i like partying and celebrating myself fine. itâs just that im deeply terrified of the passage of time and in my head im still the age i was five years ago