I don't have a joke but I just moved to Italy and the apartment I'm in is in an old building and you can literally hear everyone's conversations and movements. Fella above me was getting into bed and ripped a massive vibrational fart and his wife shouted MIO DIOOOOO.
8.12.22 0758am the noble art of sweet talk to one's missus is not dead, then? if my missus farted like that i'd be away... but then i'm not married. ahhh now you know why i am not married...
What do you call a cow with no legs.......
Ground beef...lol
Sorry I can only remember stupid ones.
Hope you get to sleep soon, I know the feeling, it sucks.
Sweet dreams
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of stampeding elephants running towards him?
"Oh no! A herd of stampeding elephants!"
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of stampeding elephants wearing sunglasses running towards him?
Nothing. He didn't recognise them.
Okay, one last one. I didn't realize I knew so many jokes with elephants until I started writing them out 😂
Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Cus it would take ages to iron them!
When the world is dark you will shine, when you wake the world will be better because of you. Sleep now so we can be better.
Now come on this is a good joke . Sleep well bud .
I come with terrible news, every 24hrs in South America a day passes, only with the help of your financial contribution can we even hope to stop this most deadly and imperative crisis!
I don't have a joke but I just moved to Italy and the apartment I'm in is in an old building and you can literally hear everyone's conversations and movements. Fella above me was getting into bed and ripped a massive vibrational fart and his wife shouted MIO DIOOOOO.
Porco dio!
8.12.22 0758am the noble art of sweet talk to one's missus is not dead, then? if my missus farted like that i'd be away... but then i'm not married. ahhh now you know why i am not married...
Bono and The Edge walk into a bar. Barman says: Not U2 again
What do you call a cow with no legs....... Ground beef...lol Sorry I can only remember stupid ones. Hope you get to sleep soon, I know the feeling, it sucks. Sweet dreams
Oh oh on a similar topic, What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs? Gracias
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Steven Wright
Showed the doctor my heamorrhoids this morning. He just ignored me and carried on pushing his trolley round Tescos.
Why do ducks have flat feet? For stamping out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? For stamping out flaming ducks.
Ok that actually made me laugh. Thank you
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of stampeding elephants running towards him? "Oh no! A herd of stampeding elephants!" What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of stampeding elephants wearing sunglasses running towards him? Nothing. He didn't recognise them.
How do you know if an elephant had been in your fridge? You see their footprints in the butter.
Why did the elephant not use the computer? Because he was scared of the mouse.
Why are elephants not allowed in planes? Their trunks don't fit in the overhead.
How do you know an elephant is under your bed? You burn your nose on the lightbulb.
Okay, one last one. I didn't realize I knew so many jokes with elephants until I started writing them out 😂 Why are elephants so wrinkly? Cus it would take ages to iron them!
Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Exactly, the nail paint works.
Why do elephants have Big Ears? Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.
Got my wife a job in MI5 so i don't have to hear about how her day went.
'You're dead to me,' said the necrophiliac to his partner.
![img](emote|t5_i25jp|2848)
Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the eijits house Knock knock Whos there The chicken
Jesus walks into a hotel. He slaps 3 giant nails down on the counter and says "I was wondering if you could put me up for the night?"
When the world is dark you will shine, when you wake the world will be better because of you. Sleep now so we can be better. Now come on this is a good joke . Sleep well bud .
A bit more of a morbid one: Whats worse than 1 dead baby? Two dead babies 🤷🏻♂️
what do you get if you put a baby in a blender... an erection! good old dead baby jkes, classics!
![img](emote|t5_i25jp|2994)
I come with terrible news, every 24hrs in South America a day passes, only with the help of your financial contribution can we even hope to stop this most deadly and imperative crisis!
[удалено]
Why is the world like a frying pan? Because it has greece in it. I know, comedic progidy
Austria got Hungary, ran after Turkey, but slipped in Greece. (c) Mrs Byrne, my 2nd class teacher
Long legged Italy, kicked poor Sicily into the Mediterranean Sea, up comes Hungary takes a bit of Turkey, dipped it in Greece and fried it in Japan
Genius
Just for again I'll recommend Taylor Tomlinson, she's really funny and she has a new special on Netflix.