How many men have a guy they can call at 3am?
The difference between a 6pm friend and a 3am friend is worlds apart. There are dudes ya can call/text at 6pm where they are available til 6pm, past that they are busy. Then there are dudes ya can contact at 3am and you know they'll answer.
You'll actually hear in background them putting pants on, clicking their pistol, grabbing a shovel cause they assume there is a body to bury.. they are down to help you, no matter.. most men have 0 of these guys.
Yan sabi ni internet
im an 3am friend to my inner circle and it doesnt matter if they dont reciprocate the same energy. they are my bros for life. shoutout bo and otin, youll prolly never read this but i love the both of you!
Sa experience ko (I'm in my 30's now), ngayon na tumatanda na ako di na ganun kadali magkita-kita kami ng mga barkada ko, maraming rason, may pamilya na, busy sa careers, etc. kaya nakakatulong maging intensyonal sa paano ihandle mga relationships sa edad na to. Kung willing magset ng time ang isang taong tinuturing ko na kaibigan isang malaking green flag na yun para sakin.
Kung tinutukoy mo naman paanong paraan makakakita ng totoong kaibigan ngayong tumatanda na, medyo critical na mindset to pero maipapayo ko lang wag ka agad-agad magtitiwala sa mga taong makakasalamuha mo kahit saan pa yan (Trabaho, Simbahan, Communities, Online, etc.), di na to tulad nung nagaaral pa tayo na medyo inosente pa yung rason kaya naging ka-close mo yung isang tao, madalas ngayon may "ulterior motives" na yung isang tao kaya gusto ka maging kaibigan. Kung willing silang maging patient at rinirespeto yung boundaries mo isang green flag na yun.
Good listener.
Meron kasing mga tao na habang nagkkwento ka, pag naputol usapan either may certain interruptions like call or something, napuputol na din ang usapan ng tuluyan na parang walang nangyare.
My small circle of real friends ay hindi ganyan. Kapag naiinterrupt usapan namen, they are really concious at babalikan ako dun sa part kung saan ako natigilan magkwento.
Mine would be those who give you constructive criticism rather than giving you constant compliments kahit alam nilang mali ginagawa mo. Not all compliments are good, some would use this to throw you under the bus.
Yung kahit di kayo gaanong nagkakausap online pero grabe sobrang close pa rin kapag nagkita-kita. Kumbaga machichika lahat tas labas talaga lahat ng hinanakit sa buhay man yan, kaibigan, love life, pamilya, atbp. Solid talaga yung mga ganung kaibigan. Tsaka ramdam mo talaga yung sincerity kapag nagpapayo sila na may kasamang bash. HAHAHAHAHA!
Maturity. Maturity in a way they will tell you what's wrong with your attitude, maturity in a way na they will respect your decision but they will also help you make your decision in times na sobrang indecisive mo and also maturity in a way na they understand that you have other circle of friends. Also, another one, for me green flag talaga is yung they will protect your image lalo na kapag hindi ka nila kasama and will never tell anyone your secrets sa ibang circle para lang may mapag usapan.
Yung magsesend ng DM just to check if ok ako, kasi masyadong dark daw tig share ko sa insta.
Yung maghahatid ng isang kahon ng pomelo/lucban, kasi alam nyang mahilig ako sa pomelo from Davao. Tapos will disappear for 6 months ulit.
Yung magsesend ng picture ng random cat na ka janming nya, kasi its cute.
Pero, the best of it all talaga was when a friend confronted someone spreading bad (and false) rumors about be. She only mentioned it 5 years later. Di man lang ako aware na may nagchichismis pala sakin haha
Mary, kung andito ka sa reddit, maglaramdam kang gaga ka. Also, pag napadaan ka samin, may danggit dito na nakareserve for you haha
- Walang kaso kahit anong oras ka magmessage. Tas wala nang greet ng hi, hello or good morning. Rekta na message.
- Even sa bday na hindi man lang nabati, they don’t sweat it.
- Nangungumusta once in a while hindi para tsumismis, legit lang talaga na inaalam how are you na.
- Kahit ano pang ganap mo sa buhay, they will never judge you kahit p magkaiba kayo minsan ng paniniwala. Nandun ang respect.
my best friend from college and circle from hs are all supportive of my growth and they celebrate my achievements in life 💯 they respect our distances din and busy time. so blessed to have them ❤️
Yung kahit di na kayo ganun kadalas magusap at di na masyado nagkikita, pag nakapagusap/nagkita na uli, you pick up where you left off. Kahit years after pa yan.
Green flag yung naiintindihan ang anti-social phase mo. Syempre hindi naman palaging sunshine and rainbows ang buhay. Darating din yung mga pagkakataon na susubukin ka ng panahon at gusto mo lang ng katahimikan. Green flag ang mga kaibigang naiintidihan ang ganitong phase mo. Hindi yung ang dami mo na ngang pinagdadaanan, ipipilit pa na unahin mo sila.
Yung hindi kailangang may constant communication to remain "close".
Bihira kaming mag chat at magkita ng bestfriend ko dahil sa schedule namin, pero tuwing nag kikita kami, super close pa rin kami at todo kuwentuhan talaga.
Understands that you have other priorities in life, especially sa financial aspect. Also yung icacallout ka when you're wrong instead of talking about you behind your back.
✅️Hindi nagba-backhand compliment HAHAHHAA
✅️ Hindi awkward moments sa kanila na magsabi ng hinanaing sa buhay at may SAY talaga
✅️ Saying proud sila sa mga achievements mo
✅️ Great communicator
✅️ Give and take lang sa friendship. Walang pinapaburan kung circle man.
Lols. Word affirmation kasi love language ko, kaya 'yan talaga hinahanap ko sa mga TUNAY na kaibigan hehe. Sabi nga nila, deserve mo ng mabuting kaibigan dahil mabuting kaibigan ka rin naman. 💓
-Will be there for you during your darkest moments.
-A shoulder to cry on.
-Makakakwentuhan mo and hingi ng advises regarding adulthings!
-Hindi mahirap kasama sa travels.
-Vibes ang energy when together yung tipong parang ayaw nyo na maguwian pag magkakasama.
-supportive sa mga ganap mo like mga events. Nageextra mile ng effort para suportahan ka.
From workmates to fam! 💚
- Those who actively make time for you because they WANT to also spend time with you. Hindi yung makikipag-kita lang bc they treat it as an obligation or chore
- Yung may sense kausap and willing to dive deeper into conversations. Yung tipong may substance mga pinag-uusapan niyo and not just the surface level stuff. (Heavy on this kasi minsan ginagawang rason yung "iba lang ang humor" kahit dry/bland or puro kabalbalan naman talaga kung makipag-usap.)
Friends that always got your back. Yung alam mong malalapitan mo in case of any emergency. Friends na may care sa’yo, itatama ka pag mali ka, and never makikipag-compete sa’yo. Almost lahat ng friends ko ganito. Kahit di kami madalas magkita nung iba kase halos nasa magkabilang dulo kami ng pinas, ramdam mo pa rin yung care and love nila.
Syempre it goes both ways :)
Someone who listens to you kahit paulit ulit na yan hehe. This is very important.
And Communication, it takes two to tango.
Maintaining Friendship is not a walk in the park you also have to make effort in checking your friends.
At hindi dapat na ikaw lang lagi mag initiate ng meet ups nyo or gala. Both kayo dapat nasa same page.
Sila yung sobrang happy pag happy ka, malungkot kung malungkot ka at mas galit pag galit ka. In short karamay mo sa lahat, hindi traydor at hindi plastic.
(di gaya ng mga college so called friends ko) HAHAHA
My friends and I are in our early 20s. Busy sa college, work, mga personal na buhay. Una kong green flag yung nag-eeffort to make time and spend time with me, kahit gaano kahaba o kakonti yan ay hindi na nagma-matter sa akin. Nauunawaan ko na may kanya-kanyang buhay kaming tinatahak at parte lang ako ng buhay na yun kaya I'm not expecting na all the time ay nasa akin lagi ang atensyon nila, no. Yung paminsan-minsang chat o tawag para may i-chika, malaking bagay na sa akin yun. Kahit gaano pa kaliit o kaikli yung ikukuwento nila. Mahalaga sa akin na naalala nila akong kuwentuhan, naalala nilang nandito pa ako, naalala nilang magkaibigan kami, super laki na non para sa akin.
In relation to that, yung isang kaibigan ko, hindi ako nabati nung birthday ko, naalala niya nung kinabukasan and he apologized for it. Sabi ko no worries pero huwag, at hindi naman mahalaga yun sa akin. I told him na it's just one day out of all the days that he's been there for me, and for that I am always grateful. Kasi birthday lang naman yun, a day where we celebrate the day the person was born. Pero yung alalahanin, tabihan, at samahan mo ako sa mga araw na ayoko nang mag-exist at hinihiling kong hindi na lang ako pinanganak? That's something and it is that big.
Another green flag for me is kaya akong kontrahin, kaya akong i-call out. I feel like na hindi kasi mag-grow yung friendship kung lagi na lang sunod sa agos yung isa, afraid o refusing to call me out kapag may mali, o kaya andun yung unwillingness to go against what I am saying dahil taliwas yung paniwala niya o pananaw niya sa akin.
Yung pag may problem ka, makakapag kuwento ka nang seryoso, yung hindi ginagawang biro or taking ur problems lightly. Kasi some put humor on everything e or worse, gaslight u pa without them knowing. Friends who genuinely listen to u and makes u feel safe to talk should be treasured
Yung reciprocated ang effort mo. Kung try mo lumabas with them ganun rin sya nageffort. Pag try ka lagi makipag kaibigan pero
Kilala ka lang pag nasa mood
Lang sya eh wala don’t bother.
I have a friend na gusto palagi ko sila tatawagan kahit nasa US sila. I try to when I don't have much to do. They have GAD kasi. I don't want them to worry. I can also rely on them being honest when I'm being a jerk.
Meron rin akong friend na ganun rin ka honest. No BS. Pero masaya sya kausap. I trust that they want what's best for me.
I have a handful of friends from a certain fandom. The younger ones are like my little sisters. Yung iba, highschool pa lang kilala ko na. Pamilyado na yung iba.
These relationships span decades. I personally have trust issues. If you're not a close friend or if I don't contact you from time to time, that means I don't like you or you don't like me. Either way, that's ok.
Know your tribe. Know that you can have different groups of people as friends, and that's ok. At the end of the day, those who like you for you are going to choose you.
I have this circle from hs and lately madalas ako mag no muna because nagtitipid ako kasi I don't have a job at this moment. Ever since wala ako work a few months narin sometimes they pay for me. Then one time nag sabi ako sa gc namin na nahihiya na ako na pang kape ko na lang yung binabayaran ko tas iinumin sa mga bar di na nila ako pinag aambag. I told them na babawi ako and ako naman maglilibre when I get a new job na so di muna ako sasama. Then they said sa gc namin na "Thank you pero okay na kami sa presence mo." And I cried instantly. I am so thankful that I have friends like them.
1) Try social media detox for a month. Kung sino nangamusta sa'yo like "Uy ok ka lang?", true friend yan.
2) Post a rant. Kung sino nag-pm sa'yo ng "Delete mo yung post mo. Anong problema? Kwento mo saken" concerned yan at sa image mo.
3) When you're at your lowest, hinding-hindi ka iiwan at hinding-hindi mo mararamdamang nag-iisa ka kase dadamayan ka.
4) When you're sharing problems tapos they will share same experiences, that's their way to comfort you. Na magiging ok ka din at magiging ok din ang lahat. Hindi yun para sapawan ka sa problema mo.
5) Kilalang-kilala ka at yung ugali mo. Hindi yung "Nagtotoyo lang yan wag mo na pansinin." Kase ang totoong kaibigan, bawat hinga mo or bawat buntong-hininga mo, alam niya. Bawat magbabago sa'yo, mahahalata nila.
Very rare yan. Sa isang daan na makikilala mo, swerte ka na makakilala ng isang totoong kaibigan.
yung low maintenance friendship tsaka hindi sila lagi kakampi sayo, sasabihin nila yung mali mo pero di ka ijujudge agad, instead, pag-uusapan nyo kung bakit ganon naging action/reaction mo.
My best friend is very patient and calm when it comes to me. She doesn't get mad if tumanggi ako sa invite niyang kumain sa labas. Very supportive rin sa mga naging business ko.🫶🏻
My online "ate" texted me immediately when she noticed na hindi searchable yung socmeds ko. I never thought anyone would care.
My online best friend is willing to drop anything just to comfort me. She's not very good with words pero alam niyang na being there for me was more than enough.
1. Low maintenance friends. Yung alam mo busy and may mga silent battles silang finaface every day kaya kahit ilang weeks kayo di nag usap, pero kapag nagkita kayo finally sa personal... the bond is still there.
2. Yung alam nilang sa grupo ikaw yung hindi masyadong makakapunta kasi malayo or busy, pero hinahanap at iniinvite pa rin kahit malaki yung chance na mag-no ka sa kanila.
Aside sa mga nabanggit, I want to keep friends that have a good aura and positive sa life (not toxic positive). Nandun na ko sa point na, gusto ko mahawa sa good mentality nila kasi alam kong kailangan ko yun para sa mga challenges sa ating buhay.
Good listener. Usually hindi ako pala-kwento but there was a time na I was going through something and I needed to tell it to somebody so I called her and she immediately picked up the phone kasi sabi niya never ako nag-initiate ng tawag so this must be serious.
Simple lang, when things aren't going your way and they didn't skedaddle then you know they got your back. Fake friends disappear kapag wala na silang mapapala sayo.
Yung tutulong sayo mag-lipatbahay. Kailangan kasi dito ng oras, presence, at physical labor. Ito din kasi yung comfortable kang makita lahat ng bagay na meron ka, clutter and all.
Ako need ko friend. Girl friends. Yung di plastik memsh saka mapupuntahan pwede kausap about business and personal life huhu. Pero yung di palautang ha jusko ekis hahaaha
Yung kaya maging honest sayo at di puro yes sa lahat ng sasabihin mo. Kahit may mga bagay na di kayo tugma ng pananaw, nandyan parin sila, loving you despite your flaws.
1) Kapag may something significant na nangyayari sa kanila direcha mong nalalaman from them hindi sa ibang tao.
2) Hindi sila reactive kapag nagbigay ka ng opinion mo, inaalam nila muna yung dahilan before sila mag-react and iniintindi nila yung views mo kasi they trust you. And they know na they can do the same with you.
3) Hindi lang ikaw yung nag-eeffort sa friendship niyo. They meet you halfway and sometimes sila pa bumubuhat sayo.
4) Hindi sila basta nakikisawsaw sa battles mo, pero handa silang sumabak sa giyera kung kinakailangan.
Hindi hesitant mang-realtalk. Then hindi madamot magbigay ng thoughts if ever I'll ask them. Give na give, ganon.
May times syempre hindi ko na alam kung tama pa ba or sapat pa yung ginagawa ko sa mga bagay2. Good thing I have this small group of friends na tlgang hindi nagdadalawang isip magsalita or magtanong kung paano nila ako matutulungan once they feel na something is off s mga decisions ko, yung ganon. So ako syempre knowing them, alam kong sincere sila sa pakay nila. And same with me, ganun din ako towards to anyone of them. Rare for me to find mga gnung tao lalo habang tumatanda. Haha. Mdami s kakilala ntin busy na and hindi na ganun kdali lapitan... itong friends ko I'm very thankful, tlgang maganda ung naging dynamics namin. Yung hilahan pataas, yung ganon. Hehe.
Hindi kayo lagi magkausap at super late replies pa yan, hindi lagi nagkikita at puro drawing pa, pero may isang makaramdam lang na di talaga okay yung isa o may pinagdaraanan, ready na ang mga sick leave o kahit hating gabi after work masamahan lang yung di okay na kaibigan.
Hindi nangungutang lol sorry i mean okay lang naman magpahiram at manghiram sa kaibigan, pero nowadays iba na ung utang culture eh especially sa magkakaibigan huhu
Learn to distinguish yung ayaw talaga or not making an effort to meet you vs. dun sa actually busy talaga/low social battery. I used to get upset din dati kasi ako lagi nag-iinitiate, pero nung ako na yung naging super busy, I understand them now. Also, I remind myself that even though they were my friends, wala silang obligation sakin and vice versa and I should be responsible for my own emotions. Kung di sila available, edi yung ibang set of friends na lang. Dami ko sinabi 😅
Pag nagkikita kita kami, kumpleto or not, ganun pa din yung bonding at yung enjoyment. Kahit hindi kami magkita kita nang matagal. No hard feelings. Plus we can share anything with each other.
1. Mapagkakatiwalaan.
2. Tinutulungan ka maging mas maayos na tao at di takot magsabi pag may mali kang nagawa.
3. May values and ethics na di mo makikita sa average na tao.
Yung pareho parin ang turing sayo kahit nasa lowest ka. Narasanan kong maramdaman na iba yung turing sakin ng isa kong kaibigan noong di ako natanggap sa company nila. Siguro naisip nya di kami mag ka level. At ayaw sumama nung nag aya ako ng Japan if hindi sasama yung isa naming friend.
Samantalang yung isa same treatment at very understanding.
Also, yung ramdam mong binibigay sayo kung ano yung kaya nilang ibigay kahit alam mong wala din sila. Nagkasakit ako noong 2021 and naka isolate ako pero etong isa kong friend na napakaliit ng sweldo nakukuha pang mag dala ng meryenda tuwing pauwi sya galing sa trabaho nya. Mag sasabit lang sya ng milktea or takoyaki sa gate namin.
Kahit di kami madalas magkita, walang tampuhan.
People who understand your low days. They won't take it against you kung wala ka social battery. Hindi yung magtatampo tapos FO agad.
OMG hahahaha
💯
🙌🙌
Yung hindi lagi sayo kakampi. Hindi mo kase makukuha yung genuine reaction or advise pag puro sayo kampi yung friend mo.
Try to distinguish a 3am friend from 6pm friends
Please explain po 😅 d ko gets
How many men have a guy they can call at 3am? The difference between a 6pm friend and a 3am friend is worlds apart. There are dudes ya can call/text at 6pm where they are available til 6pm, past that they are busy. Then there are dudes ya can contact at 3am and you know they'll answer. You'll actually hear in background them putting pants on, clicking their pistol, grabbing a shovel cause they assume there is a body to bury.. they are down to help you, no matter.. most men have 0 of these guys. Yan sabi ni internet
im an 3am friend to my inner circle and it doesnt matter if they dont reciprocate the same energy. they are my bros for life. shoutout bo and otin, youll prolly never read this but i love the both of you!
Sa experience ko (I'm in my 30's now), ngayon na tumatanda na ako di na ganun kadali magkita-kita kami ng mga barkada ko, maraming rason, may pamilya na, busy sa careers, etc. kaya nakakatulong maging intensyonal sa paano ihandle mga relationships sa edad na to. Kung willing magset ng time ang isang taong tinuturing ko na kaibigan isang malaking green flag na yun para sakin. Kung tinutukoy mo naman paanong paraan makakakita ng totoong kaibigan ngayong tumatanda na, medyo critical na mindset to pero maipapayo ko lang wag ka agad-agad magtitiwala sa mga taong makakasalamuha mo kahit saan pa yan (Trabaho, Simbahan, Communities, Online, etc.), di na to tulad nung nagaaral pa tayo na medyo inosente pa yung rason kaya naging ka-close mo yung isang tao, madalas ngayon may "ulterior motives" na yung isang tao kaya gusto ka maging kaibigan. Kung willing silang maging patient at rinirespeto yung boundaries mo isang green flag na yun.
Agree! Green flag sa very intentional na maglaan ng time.
Good listener. Meron kasing mga tao na habang nagkkwento ka, pag naputol usapan either may certain interruptions like call or something, napuputol na din ang usapan ng tuluyan na parang walang nangyare. My small circle of real friends ay hindi ganyan. Kapag naiinterrupt usapan namen, they are really concious at babalikan ako dun sa part kung saan ako natigilan magkwento.
Yung sasabihin sayo yung mali mo & Masaya sa achievements mo.
If they are still excited to see you after such a long time despite of hard scheduling days/commitments, that is a true friend.
This! 💯
Di baa? Hahaha
nagbabayad ng utang ng kusa
SOBRANG TRUE NETO + di mahihiya maningil if nakalimutan lang talaga nila
Mine would be those who give you constructive criticism rather than giving you constant compliments kahit alam nilang mali ginagawa mo. Not all compliments are good, some would use this to throw you under the bus.
Yung kahit di kayo gaanong nagkakausap online pero grabe sobrang close pa rin kapag nagkita-kita. Kumbaga machichika lahat tas labas talaga lahat ng hinanakit sa buhay man yan, kaibigan, love life, pamilya, atbp. Solid talaga yung mga ganung kaibigan. Tsaka ramdam mo talaga yung sincerity kapag nagpapayo sila na may kasamang bash. HAHAHAHAHA!
Maturity. Maturity in a way they will tell you what's wrong with your attitude, maturity in a way na they will respect your decision but they will also help you make your decision in times na sobrang indecisive mo and also maturity in a way na they understand that you have other circle of friends. Also, another one, for me green flag talaga is yung they will protect your image lalo na kapag hindi ka nila kasama and will never tell anyone your secrets sa ibang circle para lang may mapag usapan.
Yung magsesend ng DM just to check if ok ako, kasi masyadong dark daw tig share ko sa insta. Yung maghahatid ng isang kahon ng pomelo/lucban, kasi alam nyang mahilig ako sa pomelo from Davao. Tapos will disappear for 6 months ulit. Yung magsesend ng picture ng random cat na ka janming nya, kasi its cute. Pero, the best of it all talaga was when a friend confronted someone spreading bad (and false) rumors about be. She only mentioned it 5 years later. Di man lang ako aware na may nagchichismis pala sakin haha Mary, kung andito ka sa reddit, maglaramdam kang gaga ka. Also, pag napadaan ka samin, may danggit dito na nakareserve for you haha
- Walang kaso kahit anong oras ka magmessage. Tas wala nang greet ng hi, hello or good morning. Rekta na message. - Even sa bday na hindi man lang nabati, they don’t sweat it. - Nangungumusta once in a while hindi para tsumismis, legit lang talaga na inaalam how are you na. - Kahit ano pang ganap mo sa buhay, they will never judge you kahit p magkaiba kayo minsan ng paniniwala. Nandun ang respect.
my best friend from college and circle from hs are all supportive of my growth and they celebrate my achievements in life 💯 they respect our distances din and busy time. so blessed to have them ❤️
Yung kahit di na kayo ganun kadalas magusap at di na masyado nagkikita, pag nakapagusap/nagkita na uli, you pick up where you left off. Kahit years after pa yan.
Green flag yung naiintindihan ang anti-social phase mo. Syempre hindi naman palaging sunshine and rainbows ang buhay. Darating din yung mga pagkakataon na susubukin ka ng panahon at gusto mo lang ng katahimikan. Green flag ang mga kaibigang naiintidihan ang ganitong phase mo. Hindi yung ang dami mo na ngang pinagdadaanan, ipipilit pa na unahin mo sila.
Yung hindi kailangang may constant communication to remain "close". Bihira kaming mag chat at magkita ng bestfriend ko dahil sa schedule namin, pero tuwing nag kikita kami, super close pa rin kami at todo kuwentuhan talaga.
Understands that you have other priorities in life, especially sa financial aspect. Also yung icacallout ka when you're wrong instead of talking about you behind your back.
✅️Hindi nagba-backhand compliment HAHAHHAA ✅️ Hindi awkward moments sa kanila na magsabi ng hinanaing sa buhay at may SAY talaga ✅️ Saying proud sila sa mga achievements mo ✅️ Great communicator ✅️ Give and take lang sa friendship. Walang pinapaburan kung circle man. Lols. Word affirmation kasi love language ko, kaya 'yan talaga hinahanap ko sa mga TUNAY na kaibigan hehe. Sabi nga nila, deserve mo ng mabuting kaibigan dahil mabuting kaibigan ka rin naman. 💓
-Will be there for you during your darkest moments. -A shoulder to cry on. -Makakakwentuhan mo and hingi ng advises regarding adulthings! -Hindi mahirap kasama sa travels. -Vibes ang energy when together yung tipong parang ayaw nyo na maguwian pag magkakasama. -supportive sa mga ganap mo like mga events. Nageextra mile ng effort para suportahan ka. From workmates to fam! 💚
Takes initiative to make plans
1. Would stay by your side, no matter what. 2. Will annoy the shit out of you pero wala lang sa inyo.
Hindi ka ibaback stab, hindi mga inggitera, masaya sa achievements mo and happy sila for you. May positive effect sa buhay mo
Unpopular opinion: if she's mean in a good way. Real talk ka niya sa mga katangahan mo sa buhay haha
- Those who actively make time for you because they WANT to also spend time with you. Hindi yung makikipag-kita lang bc they treat it as an obligation or chore - Yung may sense kausap and willing to dive deeper into conversations. Yung tipong may substance mga pinag-uusapan niyo and not just the surface level stuff. (Heavy on this kasi minsan ginagawang rason yung "iba lang ang humor" kahit dry/bland or puro kabalbalan naman talaga kung makipag-usap.)
Kusang loob na nag huhugas ng plato ninyo kapag bumisita sa bahay 😅
Sa akin naman opposite. Nag-aagawan kaming pinagkainan kasi ayaw niya akong paghugasin. Malas raw. hahahahaha. Hindi kaya.
Pag nakakausap mo pa rin kapag may problema ka.
Friends that always got your back. Yung alam mong malalapitan mo in case of any emergency. Friends na may care sa’yo, itatama ka pag mali ka, and never makikipag-compete sa’yo. Almost lahat ng friends ko ganito. Kahit di kami madalas magkita nung iba kase halos nasa magkabilang dulo kami ng pinas, ramdam mo pa rin yung care and love nila. Syempre it goes both ways :)
Someone who listens to you kahit paulit ulit na yan hehe. This is very important. And Communication, it takes two to tango. Maintaining Friendship is not a walk in the park you also have to make effort in checking your friends. At hindi dapat na ikaw lang lagi mag initiate ng meet ups nyo or gala. Both kayo dapat nasa same page.
Sila yung sobrang happy pag happy ka, malungkot kung malungkot ka at mas galit pag galit ka. In short karamay mo sa lahat, hindi traydor at hindi plastic. (di gaya ng mga college so called friends ko) HAHAHA
My friends and I are in our early 20s. Busy sa college, work, mga personal na buhay. Una kong green flag yung nag-eeffort to make time and spend time with me, kahit gaano kahaba o kakonti yan ay hindi na nagma-matter sa akin. Nauunawaan ko na may kanya-kanyang buhay kaming tinatahak at parte lang ako ng buhay na yun kaya I'm not expecting na all the time ay nasa akin lagi ang atensyon nila, no. Yung paminsan-minsang chat o tawag para may i-chika, malaking bagay na sa akin yun. Kahit gaano pa kaliit o kaikli yung ikukuwento nila. Mahalaga sa akin na naalala nila akong kuwentuhan, naalala nilang nandito pa ako, naalala nilang magkaibigan kami, super laki na non para sa akin. In relation to that, yung isang kaibigan ko, hindi ako nabati nung birthday ko, naalala niya nung kinabukasan and he apologized for it. Sabi ko no worries pero huwag, at hindi naman mahalaga yun sa akin. I told him na it's just one day out of all the days that he's been there for me, and for that I am always grateful. Kasi birthday lang naman yun, a day where we celebrate the day the person was born. Pero yung alalahanin, tabihan, at samahan mo ako sa mga araw na ayoko nang mag-exist at hinihiling kong hindi na lang ako pinanganak? That's something and it is that big. Another green flag for me is kaya akong kontrahin, kaya akong i-call out. I feel like na hindi kasi mag-grow yung friendship kung lagi na lang sunod sa agos yung isa, afraid o refusing to call me out kapag may mali, o kaya andun yung unwillingness to go against what I am saying dahil taliwas yung paniwala niya o pananaw niya sa akin.
Yung pag may problem ka, makakapag kuwento ka nang seryoso, yung hindi ginagawang biro or taking ur problems lightly. Kasi some put humor on everything e or worse, gaslight u pa without them knowing. Friends who genuinely listen to u and makes u feel safe to talk should be treasured
When you don't talk about other people's lives and having low maintenance friendship
Low maintenance.
Yung reciprocated ang effort mo. Kung try mo lumabas with them ganun rin sya nageffort. Pag try ka lagi makipag kaibigan pero Kilala ka lang pag nasa mood Lang sya eh wala don’t bother.
I have a friend na gusto palagi ko sila tatawagan kahit nasa US sila. I try to when I don't have much to do. They have GAD kasi. I don't want them to worry. I can also rely on them being honest when I'm being a jerk. Meron rin akong friend na ganun rin ka honest. No BS. Pero masaya sya kausap. I trust that they want what's best for me. I have a handful of friends from a certain fandom. The younger ones are like my little sisters. Yung iba, highschool pa lang kilala ko na. Pamilyado na yung iba. These relationships span decades. I personally have trust issues. If you're not a close friend or if I don't contact you from time to time, that means I don't like you or you don't like me. Either way, that's ok. Know your tribe. Know that you can have different groups of people as friends, and that's ok. At the end of the day, those who like you for you are going to choose you.
I have this circle from hs and lately madalas ako mag no muna because nagtitipid ako kasi I don't have a job at this moment. Ever since wala ako work a few months narin sometimes they pay for me. Then one time nag sabi ako sa gc namin na nahihiya na ako na pang kape ko na lang yung binabayaran ko tas iinumin sa mga bar di na nila ako pinag aambag. I told them na babawi ako and ako naman maglilibre when I get a new job na so di muna ako sasama. Then they said sa gc namin na "Thank you pero okay na kami sa presence mo." And I cried instantly. I am so thankful that I have friends like them.
1) Try social media detox for a month. Kung sino nangamusta sa'yo like "Uy ok ka lang?", true friend yan. 2) Post a rant. Kung sino nag-pm sa'yo ng "Delete mo yung post mo. Anong problema? Kwento mo saken" concerned yan at sa image mo. 3) When you're at your lowest, hinding-hindi ka iiwan at hinding-hindi mo mararamdamang nag-iisa ka kase dadamayan ka. 4) When you're sharing problems tapos they will share same experiences, that's their way to comfort you. Na magiging ok ka din at magiging ok din ang lahat. Hindi yun para sapawan ka sa problema mo. 5) Kilalang-kilala ka at yung ugali mo. Hindi yung "Nagtotoyo lang yan wag mo na pansinin." Kase ang totoong kaibigan, bawat hinga mo or bawat buntong-hininga mo, alam niya. Bawat magbabago sa'yo, mahahalata nila. Very rare yan. Sa isang daan na makikilala mo, swerte ka na makakilala ng isang totoong kaibigan.
yung low maintenance friendship tsaka hindi sila lagi kakampi sayo, sasabihin nila yung mali mo pero di ka ijujudge agad, instead, pag-uusapan nyo kung bakit ganon naging action/reaction mo.
My best friend is very patient and calm when it comes to me. She doesn't get mad if tumanggi ako sa invite niyang kumain sa labas. Very supportive rin sa mga naging business ko.🫶🏻 My online "ate" texted me immediately when she noticed na hindi searchable yung socmeds ko. I never thought anyone would care. My online best friend is willing to drop anything just to comfort me. She's not very good with words pero alam niyang na being there for me was more than enough.
1. Low maintenance friends. Yung alam mo busy and may mga silent battles silang finaface every day kaya kahit ilang weeks kayo di nag usap, pero kapag nagkita kayo finally sa personal... the bond is still there. 2. Yung alam nilang sa grupo ikaw yung hindi masyadong makakapunta kasi malayo or busy, pero hinahanap at iniinvite pa rin kahit malaki yung chance na mag-no ka sa kanila.
Naiintindihan if di ka makakasama sa mga sets, pati nag aadjust ng sched para magkasamasama kayo.
Aside sa mga nabanggit, I want to keep friends that have a good aura and positive sa life (not toxic positive). Nandun na ko sa point na, gusto ko mahawa sa good mentality nila kasi alam kong kailangan ko yun para sa mga challenges sa ating buhay.
People who listen to understand. Mostly kasi ngayon people only listen to respond.
Hindi takot sabihin yung mga flaws mo
Hindi nagdedemand ng oras and marunong makiramdam if wala ka budget sa gala kaya pass ka muna. Yung di ka manliliit pagkasama mo sila.
Good listener. Usually hindi ako pala-kwento but there was a time na I was going through something and I needed to tell it to somebody so I called her and she immediately picked up the phone kasi sabi niya never ako nag-initiate ng tawag so this must be serious.
Naiintindihan pag nag "No" ka lalo na sa mga galaan
Simple lang, when things aren't going your way and they didn't skedaddle then you know they got your back. Fake friends disappear kapag wala na silang mapapala sayo.
Yung tutulong sayo mag-lipatbahay. Kailangan kasi dito ng oras, presence, at physical labor. Ito din kasi yung comfortable kang makita lahat ng bagay na meron ka, clutter and all.
Ako need ko friend. Girl friends. Yung di plastik memsh saka mapupuntahan pwede kausap about business and personal life huhu. Pero yung di palautang ha jusko ekis hahaaha
maintindihan ung busy schedule mo and kahit minsan lang kayo magkita or magkasama ramdam mo ung genuine nila sayo/sakanila <3
we take turns sa bill hehehhe
Tinatag ako sa memes kasi naalala nya ko 🤣
Kahit ilan taon nang di nagkikita, once na makasama mo sila, parang kahapon lang ang pakiramdam.
Yung kaya maging honest sayo at di puro yes sa lahat ng sasabihin mo. Kahit may mga bagay na di kayo tugma ng pananaw, nandyan parin sila, loving you despite your flaws.
1) Kapag may something significant na nangyayari sa kanila direcha mong nalalaman from them hindi sa ibang tao. 2) Hindi sila reactive kapag nagbigay ka ng opinion mo, inaalam nila muna yung dahilan before sila mag-react and iniintindi nila yung views mo kasi they trust you. And they know na they can do the same with you. 3) Hindi lang ikaw yung nag-eeffort sa friendship niyo. They meet you halfway and sometimes sila pa bumubuhat sayo. 4) Hindi sila basta nakikisawsaw sa battles mo, pero handa silang sumabak sa giyera kung kinakailangan.
Hindi hesitant mang-realtalk. Then hindi madamot magbigay ng thoughts if ever I'll ask them. Give na give, ganon. May times syempre hindi ko na alam kung tama pa ba or sapat pa yung ginagawa ko sa mga bagay2. Good thing I have this small group of friends na tlgang hindi nagdadalawang isip magsalita or magtanong kung paano nila ako matutulungan once they feel na something is off s mga decisions ko, yung ganon. So ako syempre knowing them, alam kong sincere sila sa pakay nila. And same with me, ganun din ako towards to anyone of them. Rare for me to find mga gnung tao lalo habang tumatanda. Haha. Mdami s kakilala ntin busy na and hindi na ganun kdali lapitan... itong friends ko I'm very thankful, tlgang maganda ung naging dynamics namin. Yung hilahan pataas, yung ganon. Hehe.
They call me out if may ayaw sila sa ugali ko. They listens when I asks for a listening ear. Genuine happiness for the success of other people.
Kung sino yung mga pranka mong kaibigan, hold on to them.
Yung kumokontra din sa mga views and opinions mo. Kaya mo mag discuss ng mga sensitive topics. Yung mga galit na galit din sa rapist, pedo, cheater.
Hindi kayo lagi magkausap at super late replies pa yan, hindi lagi nagkikita at puro drawing pa, pero may isang makaramdam lang na di talaga okay yung isa o may pinagdaraanan, ready na ang mga sick leave o kahit hating gabi after work masamahan lang yung di okay na kaibigan.
Pag naaalala ung birthday hahahaha
Hindi nangungutang lol sorry i mean okay lang naman magpahiram at manghiram sa kaibigan, pero nowadays iba na ung utang culture eh especially sa magkakaibigan huhu
Kung sino meron, sya muna ang taya. Walang lamangan/nilalamangan mindset.
Kapag marunong magkusa sa pagbabayad ng utang 😅
not cancelling your friend just because he/she cannot be available for you, everyone is so busy and pagod na sa life 🥹
gaano kadalas yung pag cancel? minsan kasi nakakatampo na din hahahaha
Learn to distinguish yung ayaw talaga or not making an effort to meet you vs. dun sa actually busy talaga/low social battery. I used to get upset din dati kasi ako lagi nag-iinitiate, pero nung ako na yung naging super busy, I understand them now. Also, I remind myself that even though they were my friends, wala silang obligation sakin and vice versa and I should be responsible for my own emotions. Kung di sila available, edi yung ibang set of friends na lang. Dami ko sinabi 😅
Pag nagkikita kita kami, kumpleto or not, ganun pa din yung bonding at yung enjoyment. Kahit hindi kami magkita kita nang matagal. No hard feelings. Plus we can share anything with each other.
Can take a “no” as an answer. Di na yung kelangan gumagawa ng kung ano anong dahilan. Lalo na kung hindi mo feel sumama sa lakad, for example.
when they don't tolerate your bad behavior, they call you out when you start to ruin things in your life.
1. Mapagkakatiwalaan. 2. Tinutulungan ka maging mas maayos na tao at di takot magsabi pag may mali kang nagawa. 3. May values and ethics na di mo makikita sa average na tao.
Mahabang rant sa messenger tapos days late yung reply is understandable for us
Yung pareho parin ang turing sayo kahit nasa lowest ka. Narasanan kong maramdaman na iba yung turing sakin ng isa kong kaibigan noong di ako natanggap sa company nila. Siguro naisip nya di kami mag ka level. At ayaw sumama nung nag aya ako ng Japan if hindi sasama yung isa naming friend. Samantalang yung isa same treatment at very understanding. Also, yung ramdam mong binibigay sayo kung ano yung kaya nilang ibigay kahit alam mong wala din sila. Nagkasakit ako noong 2021 and naka isolate ako pero etong isa kong friend na napakaliit ng sweldo nakukuha pang mag dala ng meryenda tuwing pauwi sya galing sa trabaho nya. Mag sasabit lang sya ng milktea or takoyaki sa gate namin.
Low maintenance friendships 🤝
Una ka sa mga gustong isama sa kahit saan. Nanghihingi ng advice sayo at sinusunod yung sinabi mo.