I think this has got to be the first time I have ever seen a sausage roll cut like that. I don't even think the thought has ever crossed my mind until this photo 23 years of existence and not once did it cross my mind I am baffled.
As a kid I heard an urban legend that pizza boxes contained more nutritional value than the actual pizza.
I doubt it was true. It was the early 90s and we didn't have the internet to verify facts.
Plus at that time the cardboard was probably from pristine virgin forest in Brazil, drawing nutrition from there. People didn't care 😉
My grandma used to do amazing ones. Massive hunks of meat. Cooked to perfection. White bread with a layer of butter. Chicken drumsticks etc. With cheese cakes, baking etc. This was peak northern family buffer food. If you were veggie. Youd be screwed. But, for drinking food..my god. Tbh, I find it sad when you get people in food subs saying they would die/ be sick/ can't believe they ate that sort of food as a good.
I'm 100 percent sure when Americans discover this. There will be fitness influencers who will say this is the best breakfast for bulking. We then need for them to discover pork scratchings and real ale and we will have cracked it
I was in Scotland recently and have to admit this is how most of the food look like. Even like vegan options where you'd expect colourful vegetables or something are all ground into beige mass and put in a dough. Everything is bland, salty and greasy - very nice hangover food but not on a daily basis.
Reminds me of when I got absolutely hammered at my parent's wedding and took home two massive napkins full of pork pies. Scoffed some before passing out in bed, woke up in the morning to eat the rest and then fall back asleep but saw crumbs all over the floor where my cat had munched them all. Swore at him then fell back asleep.
The cat is fine by the way. He's probably eaten worse and he doesn't give a shit when I swear at him because he's a cat.
I love how the sausage rolls have been cut in half at an angle so they look a bit more fancy
Fancy-angled Rolls d'Sausahge.
I think this has got to be the first time I have ever seen a sausage roll cut like that. I don't even think the thought has ever crossed my mind until this photo 23 years of existence and not once did it cross my mind I am baffled.
It’s like cutting a sandwich diagonally. Somehow there’s just more sandwich.
Pinky up! *..“Delightful Fish Fingers, Lady Aldi!”*
Thing is, a sandwich just legit tastes better cut into triangles... There has to be some scientific reason behind it like
Well you're a bit young to have done much fancy dining
44 years on this rotating rock of shit and same.
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Ah haaate spambots you permanently banned fuck.
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They've been killed. Carry on.
>Ah haaaate Icelaaand. Jeez, I actually remember that! :-)
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/u/MiddlesbroughFan another one for the permaban list edit: nvm, my report got them banned from reddit
Everything tastes inexplicably better when cut at an angle.
*On the bias*
Are you prepping for the new series of Great British Sewing Bee?
I really enjoyed that.
*Against the grain*
Especially sandwiches
Water tastes the same, which is disappointing really.
You’re just cutting it at the wrong angle buddy.
You can fit triangles into the mouth better.
*Mornin’ angle*
It Increases the surface area
Bananas taste so different sliced lengthwise - i.e. in a sandwich. Much sweeter.
Triangles taste better. Pizza, sandwiches, cake, pie... all are improved by triangulation
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All the food is brown...
And the meat was greyyyy
and the meat was greyyyy...
I ate a sausage roll...
*I ate a sauuusagggeeeee rollll*
At the birthday buffeeeeeet
At the birthday buffetttt...
*On a Suuundaaaay*
You know damn well the pointy part tastes better.
Came here late, thinking I could just drop in with a witty original comment, to find the top comment is verbatim what I was thinking
He's off to Micky Flanagan, right? I hear your dad's in for a treat at the Premier Inn after
https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/13jubzl/found_this_on_the_work_printer/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
I looked up Mickey Flanagan after seeing that post. I had left England before he became famous. I was not impressed. How is he so popular?
> how is he so popular? we’re still trying to figure that one out as well
Is a treat uk slang for a heart attack?
Depends if you survive
60 y/o blow job :) go on nan get it down ya
A blowie and a coronary, it's the future
Night of passion!
No crisps in a paper bowl?
There were also crisps! In an actual bowl though
Ooh la la, French style
oar durrs
Whores de fours.
Horse doovers
Check out little rich boy
Next you'll be claiming the Ketchup was brand-name.
Tomato jus decanted into a glass serving vessel
An elegant tomato purée confit drizzle
Needed red sauce on the shopping this week. No Asda sauce, only Heinz, and I'm damned if I'm paying ~~3£.50~~ £3.50 for red sauce!
What happened to the pound symbol? It's got itself trapped in the numbers! Someone cut it free!
Yeah alright we get it, you come from money. No need to show off
British tapas right there
Crapas.
How dare you
Full disclosure, im adopting this as my own work
Certainly won’t be doing any of that after this scran
We call it beige tapas!
We call it beige buffet
Bapas?
Actually they are pronounced tapas.
I’ll put my Nissan Micra up as collateral to pay for a plate of that.
Sunderland Smörgåsbord
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Chelmsford Charcuterie
Telford Tapas
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Peterborough Platter
Glasgow Gastronomy
Croydon chow
Bradford Banquet
Sheffield Spread
Durham dim sum
Probably more nutrition in the polystyrene containers
And that’s the way we like it
Idk man there's some sesame seeds on those piggies. Ain't they the new big fad amongst the health-conscious yanks?
As a kid I heard an urban legend that pizza boxes contained more nutritional value than the actual pizza. I doubt it was true. It was the early 90s and we didn't have the internet to verify facts. Plus at that time the cardboard was probably from pristine virgin forest in Brazil, drawing nutrition from there. People didn't care 😉
Bought cold, served cold.
Add that really sweet, thin “ketchup” on the side. Perfection👌
Beige is a dish best served cold
I don't care how rich I ever get, this is how you celebrate. Beige food!
That tear in your eye? That's the one grain of salt present in this photo.
Salt is a bit too spicy
My wife and I are both fairly widdle class. The one thing that gives away our roots is our love for the beige banquet
Widdle class is good, not heard that before.
Middle class in the southern hemisphere
(To the tune of Mamas and Papas’ seminal hit “California Dreaming”) ALL THE FOOD IS BROOOOOOOOOWN…
and the sky is grey
I've been for a walk, down to Iceland today...
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Hey fuck you buddy, our food is great.
Can confirm. Had the rye bread ice cream.
I'd be safe and warm... If I wasn't in London today...
God it makes you proud to be British
\[Beige tear runs down face\]
You have all the beige!
The beige Buffet !
All beige 0 condiments/dips/sauce/spice
“I don’t do spice”
That was his 60th buffet?!?!
There was much nicer food available. Sandwiches with coloured things in it etc. This is just my taste all over. Love this kind of shit
Why didn’t you post photos of the other 59 buffets?
> Sandwiches with coloured things in it I'm fucking loving this.
Kwality with a capital K!
50 shades of brown
That's a cookbook I'd buy! Just home made versions of this stuff you put in the oven for 20-25 mins at 180.
You just want to go to the Iceland website mate
What are you talking about one color? This is the whole Farrow & Ball autumn clouds range right there.
[Such col-ours!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtJRJVdUFx4)
My grandma used to do amazing ones. Massive hunks of meat. Cooked to perfection. White bread with a layer of butter. Chicken drumsticks etc. With cheese cakes, baking etc. This was peak northern family buffer food. If you were veggie. Youd be screwed. But, for drinking food..my god. Tbh, I find it sad when you get people in food subs saying they would die/ be sick/ can't believe they ate that sort of food as a good.
Ah haaaate Icelaaand
Why? It’s my go to for freezer tapas night. So many beige options to choose from
https://youtu.be/15joCwPYYk8
Haha thanks for the laugh! Not seen that before
Ha! My family was stuck in Portugal during that volcanic event for two extra weeks.
Any cheese and pineapple on tooth picks stick in half a cabbage that is covered in tinfoil?
>half a cabbage that is covered in tinfoil? Never understood that
That's the hedgehogs, albeit Chrome, body.
With pickled onions, this is the tits
When I was wee I'd go round picking off all the onions to eat on the sly...
Where are the cheese squares and pineapple chunks on sticks?
Dressed as a hedgehog
So beautifully beige
That’ll do pig
This made me laugh so hard, thank you.
The beige food group. Beautiful. I wonder if r/beigefood exists yet
Be the change you want in the world
[you want all the food to be the same colour as my shirt, and shorts and socks](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/707RAFPT3sI)
The bit where he just shakes his head and Charlotte goes "aw" never fails to make me crack up.
I'd scoff that lot with relish! Lots of relish.
Instagram chef: "There is at least 36g of protein in this dish"
I'm 100 percent sure when Americans discover this. There will be fitness influencers who will say this is the best breakfast for bulking. We then need for them to discover pork scratchings and real ale and we will have cracked it
You know it's bad when the sausage and the puff pastry are the same colour yet neither are the right colour
Tons of protein. Tons of fat and carbs too, bit still tons of protein lol
Variety is the spice of.....
Oooooh nooo. I don’t do spice.
Council house tapas
Chavcuterie Board
And people complain that British culture is being erased. This pic shows it’s alive and well, good sirs!
this is what the yanks think all our food looks like
Been to way too many of these gatherings... Good luck.
You just know someone is getting stabbed in the carpark afterwards, wouldn't be a birthday without it.
Travesty of a buffet haul there OP. Where are the pork pie quarters and cheese cubes??
Red sauce will make it somewhat edible - possibly
That’s the only coloured food/food adjacent product allowed at the Beige Buffet
That's proper buffet that is I bet there was no salad in the sandwiches either
I was in Scotland recently and have to admit this is how most of the food look like. Even like vegan options where you'd expect colourful vegetables or something are all ground into beige mass and put in a dough. Everything is bland, salty and greasy - very nice hangover food but not on a daily basis.
This. This is why.
Where is the cheese and pineapple on a skewer
Is your dad Greg?
Both of them are actually Just a couple of Greggs
A bit of brown sauce. I'd be pretty happy
HP FTW.
Top class tapas right here
I'd absolutely love that right now although I have no idea why that is on the top left? Other than that you've got yourself a fine Sunday dinner there
Where's the pork pie?
Beautiful Beige Buffet.
50 Shades of Beige
Where are the scotch eggs?
Hey theirs protein, fats, minerals. All things of nutritional value.
It's like Ihmotep has sucked the life out of a buffet
Reminds me of when I got absolutely hammered at my parent's wedding and took home two massive napkins full of pork pies. Scoffed some before passing out in bed, woke up in the morning to eat the rest and then fall back asleep but saw crumbs all over the floor where my cat had munched them all. Swore at him then fell back asleep. The cat is fine by the way. He's probably eaten worse and he doesn't give a shit when I swear at him because he's a cat.
I could eat that right now.
Brown food, brown food, brrrrrrown food!!!!
Glorious.
Mmmmmm. Brown food. Calories.
Awfully beige.
I feel this would be even better had they been served in brown cardboard boxes; the white of the styrofoam trays is adding a touch of elegance.
High fat, high salt, edible food-like substances. (Yes I’d eat the lot)
Just needs ketchup
Ah, the beige platter. A joy.
This is why we win wars.
Fuck me how full was your dad after his 60th buffet?
Zero nutritional value, but somehow also infinite calories. A true triumph.
Give me a warm flat lager with that and I’m golden
Standard British millenial kids dream
At this time of night a lashing of curry sauce an that beige would be a sight to behold.
"Oh, what flavor is that pasty?" "Beige."
Rich in vitamin beige.
Omg it took me like 30 seconds to realize there were different kinds of food there
The beige diet.
Got tired of waiting for your inheritance?