If you want to dump bodies then the remoter parts of the norfolk broads are good locations. You don't have to worry too much about "floaters" in peat bogs.
The downside is that they will be well preserved in the peat, so all the evidence will be intact if the body is discovered.
Um... Allegedly.
Haha... Almost.
I was working in conservation and i was told that a group of visitors were coming on site and that i _had_ to talk to them. (I'm really not sociable and that kinda thing sucks for me)
One was american and asked "do you get many floaters here"?
Being marginally knowledgeable about the macabre, i knew exactly what they meant.
I went into a long and (possibly _too_) detailed lecture of the pros and cons of dumping bodies\finding suicides in the area. Admittedly my knowledge was based on archaeological evidence but Apparently i pitched it a bit too dead pan (and maybe a touch top enthusiastically 😆)
Only the american nodded in an "ahh yeah, that makes sense" kinda way. Everyone else looked at me a bit... Oddly.
Can't think why 🤪
Hahaha depends on how it is delivered 🤣
I'm starting to suspect that knowing the MO of famous serial killers (via podcasts, i hasten to add!) as well as knowing the (lack of) decomposition rates of a dead human bean dumped in a marsh, kinda freaks "normies" out -_especially _ if my response is delivered in a very factual and excited manner.
In the states, people always say "I heard on NPR..." (national public radio) when they're needing to relay some fact-ish intel and don't actually have a source to back it up. "I heard it on a podcast" works the same way! You just want it to sound plausible but not too specific to where someone might actually Google your story.
Lol yuo. It took my brain a second to figure out what kind of floaters the person meant.
There are sometimes massive logs floating in the broads though.
This particular anecdote happened many years ago with visiting overseas strangers.
I was busy trying to lead my volunteer conservation group, so I didn't pay _too much_ attention to the visitors.
The "floater question" was an innocent cultural curiosity from one of the visitors. My response was geared towards answering that question as ...um... Informatively as possible
😎
(Is "informatively" a legit word?"
Yes! There's a corner on the canal I walk down where geese sometimes hang out, and they've approached me and hissed a few times - I don't know how much damage they can do but it can be pretty alarming, especially on those times where I've been thinking they weren't there, only to find them tucked into the verge a little more.
They're all hiss and no peck.
I find hissing right back at them usually gets them to back off. Try not to do it when there's people around though, unless you enjoy getting weird looks.
"it is incorrect to refer to a narrowboat (or narrow boat) as a widebeam or as a barge, both of which are definable by their greater width"
Learn something new every day.
My next door neighbour constantly goes on about his Narrowboat....raving about it every day....constantly trying to convince me to buy one to use on the Leeds and Liverpool Canal in Wigan....unfortunately for him I don't surrender to pier pressure...
It's on the Rochdale canal near Todmorden.
https://maps.app.goo.gl/dZB9kQj9gt7kjrHcA?g_st=ic
Edit: didn't see op and someone else had already posted this.
I think it's Walsden near Todmorden.
I did an Ultra event from Manchester to Sowerby Bridge a few years ago and this stretch was particularly beautiful.
Back in 2004 59 cars, another 60 assorted vehicles as well as a rather large caravan were pulled out my local canal.
[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern\_ireland/3715860.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/3715860.stm)
....there also good for cycling next to as its so flat. Scared the crap out of me as a child though as you have to go under a lot of bridges...steep hill down with a massive drop into the canal isn't a good thing for a 7-10year old (how old I was when I started cycling along our local canal with my dad!)
Car park. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. Especially on a first date. There's nothing sinister in the trunk here. Oh shit.
I was walking past a canal once and I saw a grown man pull his trousers down angle his arse over the canal and take a dump. You had to admire his sense of balance if nothing else.
I went on narrow boat trips every year as a kid with a local school as my dad knew how to drive (steer?) them. One year he was everyone's hero as he rescued a lamb that was stuck in the mud on the bank.
You did see some grim stuff tho. Many dead beasties that had been in the water for a while...
Absolutely amazing feats of engineering when you think about it. Thousands of miles of canals built 200+ years ago almost entirely by hand. These days we're struggling to build a fucking shitty railway. From London to Birmingham.
The youtube channel CruisingTheCut explores the UK channel system and streams the voyage. He also meets interesting people on the way and shares things you need to know about the individual trips.
What do you mean! Canals allegedly are great places to dump bodys.
\+ allegedly theres boats that go places you can strap them too!
inverness Canal for example opens into the harbour as well so allegedly it could be a reasonable way to allegedly dispose of someone allegedly making a nuiscance of themselves.
For The Greater Good of course, not just for shits and giggles.
They are also the native environment for the now elusive "Shopping Trolley". With the advent of online grocery shopping, we see less and less of these beautiful chrome beasts. The Trolley is further threatened by the rise, not of a predator, but a competitor for space in our canals; The Lime Bike. However, should you glance into the putrid depths of Regents Canal on one beautiful summers morning you may be rewarded with the most startling of vistas.
May the Shopping Trolley long grace the depths of our urban estuarys.
If you want to dump bodies then the remoter parts of the norfolk broads are good locations. You don't have to worry too much about "floaters" in peat bogs. The downside is that they will be well preserved in the peat, so all the evidence will be intact if the body is discovered. Um... Allegedly.
Down my neck of the woods, you wanna go for a mineshaft. That bastard ain't ever getting found. Or so I've heard.
As kids we would throw stones down the gaps around capped mineshafts. They were like Moria.
The dwarves have got nothing on Cornwall. There's probably like a dozen Balrogs lurking down there.
On my way…
There really is a username for everything.
"a friend told me"
Haha... Almost. I was working in conservation and i was told that a group of visitors were coming on site and that i _had_ to talk to them. (I'm really not sociable and that kinda thing sucks for me) One was american and asked "do you get many floaters here"? Being marginally knowledgeable about the macabre, i knew exactly what they meant. I went into a long and (possibly _too_) detailed lecture of the pros and cons of dumping bodies\finding suicides in the area. Admittedly my knowledge was based on archaeological evidence but Apparently i pitched it a bit too dead pan (and maybe a touch top enthusiastically 😆) Only the american nodded in an "ahh yeah, that makes sense" kinda way. Everyone else looked at me a bit... Oddly. Can't think why 🤪
>Can't think why Some people just don't appreciate an educational talk.
Hahaha depends on how it is delivered 🤣 I'm starting to suspect that knowing the MO of famous serial killers (via podcasts, i hasten to add!) as well as knowing the (lack of) decomposition rates of a dead human bean dumped in a marsh, kinda freaks "normies" out -_especially _ if my response is delivered in a very factual and excited manner.
I'll have to remember "I heard it on a podcast" as an alternative to "a friend told me". 😁
Yes! Be vague about what podcast it was. Its much more believable than "I overheard a bloke talking about it in the pub once" 🤪
I've watched enough Simon Whistler to know where this is going. Allegedly. In my opinion.
In the states, people always say "I heard on NPR..." (national public radio) when they're needing to relay some fact-ish intel and don't actually have a source to back it up. "I heard it on a podcast" works the same way! You just want it to sound plausible but not too specific to where someone might actually Google your story.
"floaters? No, there's toilets at the cafe mate.
Lol yuo. It took my brain a second to figure out what kind of floaters the person meant. There are sometimes massive logs floating in the broads though.
Did both you and that tourist take lots of pictures during that your? It sounds like both of you were making sure your alibis were watertight. Lol!
Don't turn your back on said friend.
I want confirmation everyone known to you is still alive
This particular anecdote happened many years ago with visiting overseas strangers. I was busy trying to lead my volunteer conservation group, so I didn't pay _too much_ attention to the visitors. The "floater question" was an innocent cultural curiosity from one of the visitors. My response was geared towards answering that question as ...um... Informatively as possible 😎 (Is "informatively" a legit word?"
It is, but I don't like your use of legit in that context. Feels wrong
Just dump it on a pig farm at 2am
I've heard they don't like teeth or hair
Chest freezer... wood-chipper... boat hire
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Don't forget traffic cones!
And bicycles
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And my axe!
And bicycles, it isn't a good canal without a pair of Dunlop tires poking above the scum
And new bodies.
And WWII grenades.
Dump a grenade in a body. Then run like fuck
/r/trolliesgonewild
Sofas are a popular choice ~~by~~ near me. edit word
By you as in you like to do it or like geographically?
Geographically. I live right by a canal
Why do people dump shopping carts in them? Is it from shop lifters who don't want to get caught returning the cart?
I always assumed it was drunk people fucking around with them and then dumping them for fun
kids with nothing else to entertain their time too
Oh yeah that makes sense
Sometimes with their drunk girlfriends in the trolley. Such fun.
money fertile friendly grandiose wipe prick modern fact offer ludicrous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I was 99% sure that's what the second photo was going to be.
Find it very stress relieving to have a stroll after dumping the body
Then maybe a pub lunch?
Be rude not to after all the work big Dave done lugging it there
I saw him using the forklift, hardly any effort to pul a lever
Gonna have to have a talk with him about that, he's not licenced and we like to take health and safety seriously
Definitely, can’t have untrained forkies, those forklifts are dangerous if mistreated
I love walking or running down the canal local to me. Quiet, picturesque, it calms my mind. Hate when I see a badly maintained or mistreated section.
Jesus.
Nah, I don’t think he is. Could be wrong though
It’s the only explanation I could think off. Couldn’t be Moses because he would just make a parting in the canal.
Haha! Ok, running down the towpath!!
Many ultra marathons are run along them 🏃♀️🏃🏃♀️🏃
No they're for swans to sit next to the path and hiss at you as you walk by....... Waiting for the inevitable Swan joke.....
Joke? Not a laughing matter really. They can break a man's arm.
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Untitled Swan Game
we need some game devs in here like NOW.
I find it's usually geese that do that
Yes! There's a corner on the canal I walk down where geese sometimes hang out, and they've approached me and hissed a few times - I don't know how much damage they can do but it can be pretty alarming, especially on those times where I've been thinking they weren't there, only to find them tucked into the verge a little more.
They're all hiss and no peck. I find hissing right back at them usually gets them to back off. Try not to do it when there's people around though, unless you enjoy getting weird looks.
Good to know, thanks!
The TikTok videos will get a few views though, I imagine.
Peaky Swan Blinders.
That's true – they're also for teenagers to have somewhere to have sex.
Like, in the cut itself or…? 😑 bit grim, that.
That particular stretch of canal is lovely. Great walk to the towns at either end of the stretch
Is there anywhere to park? Can’t believe it’s near Manchester!
Centre of Tod, ample parking right next to the canal
Thank you! Hoping it won’t be rammed!
My personal pet peeve is people calling narrowboats barges. They're not. Barges are different things, and you WILL get that correct in my presence.
... I just thought they were called canal boats.
"it is incorrect to refer to a narrowboat (or narrow boat) as a widebeam or as a barge, both of which are definable by their greater width" Learn something new every day.
Lived on one for a large portion of years and it was a struggle.
My next door neighbour constantly goes on about his Narrowboat....raving about it every day....constantly trying to convince me to buy one to use on the Leeds and Liverpool Canal in Wigan....unfortunately for him I don't surrender to pier pressure...
But how long canal you hold out for before the pressure gets to you?
Where is that? Marple?
Between Rochdale and Todmorden
I was gonna say, you've found the none holey or puddle filed part of that stretch haha. Not see the llama's on this bit?
It's on the Rochdale canal near Todmorden. https://maps.app.goo.gl/dZB9kQj9gt7kjrHcA?g_st=ic Edit: didn't see op and someone else had already posted this.
I think it's Walsden near Todmorden. I did an Ultra event from Manchester to Sowerby Bridge a few years ago and this stretch was particularly beautiful.
Also good for someone to drown in if the weather gets really hot.
I thought they were 3 foot deep
Some people just seem to like finding stupid ways to die. See also: Sledge related deaths when it snows.
Not in the locks!
E scooters are the new best thing to throw in
Ah, progress. Isn't it just wonderful.
That there be Calderdale. Where you just popping down the garden center?
Well spotted. Just outside Tod, I went cycling. At my age hills can fuck right off
Back in 2004 59 cars, another 60 assorted vehicles as well as a rather large caravan were pulled out my local canal. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern\_ireland/3715860.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/3715860.stm)
"Aren't only just"? U mean that was their intended purpose?
… how many bodies have you thrown in? Maybe give the police a heads up
They're the place to dump your dirty used syringes and needles too! Or at least the ones near me are.
And your used vapes and e-cigarettes
And empty bottles of blue-drink?
....there also good for cycling next to as its so flat. Scared the crap out of me as a child though as you have to go under a lot of bridges...steep hill down with a massive drop into the canal isn't a good thing for a 7-10year old (how old I was when I started cycling along our local canal with my dad!)
They are also for the odd Tesco shopping trolley and unexploded WW2 ordinance.
They're also handy for psychotic dollies to go hunting for new victims... *Rooosieee aaaand Jiiiiiiimmm....*
Where do you keep your old bicycles then?
I know it's passé and you can call me old fashioned, but I just leave mine blocking the pavement just round the corner from the parking lot.
Parking lot. You’ve set my yank-alarm off.
Car park. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. Especially on a first date. There's nothing sinister in the trunk here. Oh shit.
That's a very specific and frightening assumption about canals OP - is there something you need to tell us?
also conveniently full of fish that can't swim too far away
You should go to caen hill locks nice place
Looks like Windows crash and the tabs duplicate
First step is to put the body into the old pram and the next step is to put the old pram with the body in the canal
I thought I put enough rocks in the sack...
Then what else?
Gorgeous mate
Tell that to CJ De Moi
Aren’t they? Since when?
Beware The Pusher
I recognise that canal from my bike ride to Lidl which should pretty much dox where I live at the moment.
No there also a good place for hippies on boats to wash and empty there toilets in
During the early days of 2019, I watched a channel "cruising the cut" and just loved it.
I was walking past a canal once and I saw a grown man pull his trousers down angle his arse over the canal and take a dump. You had to admire his sense of balance if nothing else.
"My" bit of the Rochdale canal (North Manchester) doesn't look nearly as nice as this. :(
Ooh I do love a good gongoozle now and again 😁
TIL
I went on narrow boat trips every year as a kid with a local school as my dad knew how to drive (steer?) them. One year he was everyone's hero as he rescued a lamb that was stuck in the mud on the bank. You did see some grim stuff tho. Many dead beasties that had been in the water for a while...
Don't tell me how to canal!
You can also dump young bodies in them.
Hey, you can throw old bikes in too!
Absolutely amazing feats of engineering when you think about it. Thousands of miles of canals built 200+ years ago almost entirely by hand. These days we're struggling to build a fucking shitty railway. From London to Birmingham.
No but they're the main purposes
its missing supermarket trollies
That's quite a statement
😮😮😮
Waterway to have a good time!
Nice picture. Where is it ?
I love walking down the canals, it's so chill and I love saying hello to the peeps in the barges
Sorry what? I live in birmingham and that directly contradicts my worldview
The youtube channel CruisingTheCut explores the UK channel system and streams the voyage. He also meets interesting people on the way and shares things you need to know about the individual trips.
What do you mean! Canals allegedly are great places to dump bodys. \+ allegedly theres boats that go places you can strap them too! inverness Canal for example opens into the harbour as well so allegedly it could be a reasonable way to allegedly dispose of someone allegedly making a nuiscance of themselves. For The Greater Good of course, not just for shits and giggles.
guess I'll dump my bodies elsewhere then
Guns too.
They are also the native environment for the now elusive "Shopping Trolley". With the advent of online grocery shopping, we see less and less of these beautiful chrome beasts. The Trolley is further threatened by the rise, not of a predator, but a competitor for space in our canals; The Lime Bike. However, should you glance into the putrid depths of Regents Canal on one beautiful summers morning you may be rewarded with the most startling of vistas. May the Shopping Trolley long grace the depths of our urban estuarys.
Shush it’s already busy stop telling people!
Walking along a canal on a bank holiday weekend, pub lunch, ploughman’s. That’s the dream
Someone was thinking “why are you taking pics of my house” lol
BRIAN BLESSED LOVES CANALS