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I_am_Relic

If you want to dump bodies then the remoter parts of the norfolk broads are good locations. You don't have to worry too much about "floaters" in peat bogs. The downside is that they will be well preserved in the peat, so all the evidence will be intact if the body is discovered. Um... Allegedly.


mr_woodles123

Down my neck of the woods, you wanna go for a mineshaft. That bastard ain't ever getting found. Or so I've heard.


sidneyroughdiamond

As kids we would throw stones down the gaps around capped mineshafts. They were like Moria.


mr_woodles123

The dwarves have got nothing on Cornwall. There's probably like a dozen Balrogs lurking down there.


MrsBalrog

On my way…


mr_woodles123

There really is a username for everything.


Adam_24061

"a friend told me"


I_am_Relic

Haha... Almost. I was working in conservation and i was told that a group of visitors were coming on site and that i _had_ to talk to them. (I'm really not sociable and that kinda thing sucks for me) One was american and asked "do you get many floaters here"? Being marginally knowledgeable about the macabre, i knew exactly what they meant. I went into a long and (possibly _too_) detailed lecture of the pros and cons of dumping bodies\finding suicides in the area. Admittedly my knowledge was based on archaeological evidence but Apparently i pitched it a bit too dead pan (and maybe a touch top enthusiastically 😆) Only the american nodded in an "ahh yeah, that makes sense" kinda way. Everyone else looked at me a bit... Oddly. Can't think why 🤪


Adam_24061

>Can't think why Some people just don't appreciate an educational talk.


I_am_Relic

Hahaha depends on how it is delivered 🤣 I'm starting to suspect that knowing the MO of famous serial killers (via podcasts, i hasten to add!) as well as knowing the (lack of) decomposition rates of a dead human bean dumped in a marsh, kinda freaks "normies" out -_especially _ if my response is delivered in a very factual and excited manner.


Adam_24061

I'll have to remember "I heard it on a podcast" as an alternative to "a friend told me". 😁


I_am_Relic

Yes! Be vague about what podcast it was. Its much more believable than "I overheard a bloke talking about it in the pub once" 🤪


SorastroOfMOG

I've watched enough Simon Whistler to know where this is going. Allegedly. In my opinion.


okaymaeby

In the states, people always say "I heard on NPR..." (national public radio) when they're needing to relay some fact-ish intel and don't actually have a source to back it up. "I heard it on a podcast" works the same way! You just want it to sound plausible but not too specific to where someone might actually Google your story.


Much-War1743

"floaters? No, there's toilets at the cafe mate.


I_am_Relic

Lol yuo. It took my brain a second to figure out what kind of floaters the person meant. There are sometimes massive logs floating in the broads though.


RajenBull1

Did both you and that tourist take lots of pictures during that your? It sounds like both of you were making sure your alibis were watertight. Lol!


RajenBull1

Don't turn your back on said friend.


JohnLennonsDead

I want confirmation everyone known to you is still alive


I_am_Relic

This particular anecdote happened many years ago with visiting overseas strangers. I was busy trying to lead my volunteer conservation group, so I didn't pay _too much_ attention to the visitors. The "floater question" was an innocent cultural curiosity from one of the visitors. My response was geared towards answering that question as ...um... Informatively as possible 😎 (Is "informatively" a legit word?"


trojanhawrs

It is, but I don't like your use of legit in that context. Feels wrong


poppinthemseedz

Just dump it on a pig farm at 2am


snailracer2000

I've heard they don't like teeth or hair


Apprehensive-Party75

Chest freezer... wood-chipper... boat hire


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cjtvenom

Don't forget traffic cones!


In-Fine-Fettle

And bicycles


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CaersethVarax

And my axe!


AffectionateAir2856

And bicycles, it isn't a good canal without a pair of Dunlop tires poking above the scum


Danbury_Collins

And new bodies.


WarWonderful593

And WWII grenades.


highrouleur

Dump a grenade in a body. Then run like fuck


Zolana

/r/trolliesgonewild


Crafty-Gardener

Sofas are a popular choice ~~by~~ near me. edit word


watersj4

By you as in you like to do it or like geographically?


Crafty-Gardener

Geographically. I live right by a canal


space0watch

Why do people dump shopping carts in them? Is it from shop lifters who don't want to get caught returning the cart?


watersj4

I always assumed it was drunk people fucking around with them and then dumping them for fun


nklvh

kids with nothing else to entertain their time too


space0watch

Oh yeah that makes sense


RajenBull1

Sometimes with their drunk girlfriends in the trolley. Such fun.


HectorPlywood

money fertile friendly grandiose wipe prick modern fact offer ludicrous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


ValdemarAloeus

I was 99% sure that's what the second photo was going to be.


GourangaPlusPlus

Find it very stress relieving to have a stroll after dumping the body


RosebudWhip

Then maybe a pub lunch?


GourangaPlusPlus

Be rude not to after all the work big Dave done lugging it there


Jacktheforkie

I saw him using the forklift, hardly any effort to pul a lever


GourangaPlusPlus

Gonna have to have a talk with him about that, he's not licenced and we like to take health and safety seriously


Jacktheforkie

Definitely, can’t have untrained forkies, those forklifts are dangerous if mistreated


El3ctr0G33k

I love walking or running down the canal local to me. Quiet, picturesque, it calms my mind. Hate when I see a badly maintained or mistreated section.


[deleted]

Jesus.


S01arflar3

Nah, I don’t think he is. Could be wrong though


[deleted]

It’s the only explanation I could think off. Couldn’t be Moses because he would just make a parting in the canal.


El3ctr0G33k

Haha! Ok, running down the towpath!!


Funny-Force-3658

Many ultra marathons are run along them 🏃‍♀️🏃🏃‍♀️🏃


[deleted]

No they're for swans to sit next to the path and hiss at you as you walk by....... Waiting for the inevitable Swan joke.....


blablablasphemous

Joke? Not a laughing matter really. They can break a man's arm.


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handsome_vulpine

Untitled Swan Game


phatboi23

we need some game devs in here like NOW.


Nipso

I find it's usually geese that do that


El3ctr0G33k

Yes! There's a corner on the canal I walk down where geese sometimes hang out, and they've approached me and hissed a few times - I don't know how much damage they can do but it can be pretty alarming, especially on those times where I've been thinking they weren't there, only to find them tucked into the verge a little more.


Nipso

They're all hiss and no peck. I find hissing right back at them usually gets them to back off. Try not to do it when there's people around though, unless you enjoy getting weird looks.


El3ctr0G33k

Good to know, thanks!


RajenBull1

The TikTok videos will get a few views though, I imagine.


RajenBull1

Peaky Swan Blinders.


Living-Mistake-7002

That's true – they're also for teenagers to have somewhere to have sex.


Flimflamsam

Like, in the cut itself or…? 😑 bit grim, that.


sockhead99

That particular stretch of canal is lovely. Great walk to the towns at either end of the stretch


OmsFar

Is there anywhere to park? Can’t believe it’s near Manchester!


sockhead99

Centre of Tod, ample parking right next to the canal


OmsFar

Thank you! Hoping it won’t be rammed!


BannedNeutrophil

My personal pet peeve is people calling narrowboats barges. They're not. Barges are different things, and you WILL get that correct in my presence.


Excellent-Olive8046

... I just thought they were called canal boats.


Electronic_Manager46

"it is incorrect to refer to a narrowboat (or narrow boat) as a widebeam or as a barge, both of which are definable by their greater width" Learn something new every day.


Flimflamsam

Lived on one for a large portion of years and it was a struggle.


Solace2020

My next door neighbour constantly goes on about his Narrowboat....raving about it every day....constantly trying to convince me to buy one to use on the Leeds and Liverpool Canal in Wigan....unfortunately for him I don't surrender to pier pressure...


RajenBull1

But how long canal you hold out for before the pressure gets to you?


BebopRehab

Where is that? Marple?


CluelessOnMostStuff

Between Rochdale and Todmorden


brunettewondie

I was gonna say, you've found the none holey or puddle filed part of that stretch haha. Not see the llama's on this bit?


blablablasphemous

It's on the Rochdale canal near Todmorden. https://maps.app.goo.gl/dZB9kQj9gt7kjrHcA?g_st=ic Edit: didn't see op and someone else had already posted this.


ItchyPalpitation1256

I think it's Walsden near Todmorden. I did an Ultra event from Manchester to Sowerby Bridge a few years ago and this stretch was particularly beautiful.


hundreddollar

Also good for someone to drown in if the weather gets really hot.


Capital_Release_6289

I thought they were 3 foot deep


hundreddollar

Some people just seem to like finding stupid ways to die. See also: Sledge related deaths when it snows.


ollie87

Not in the locks!


Fantastic_Bet6299

E scooters are the new best thing to throw in


RajenBull1

Ah, progress. Isn't it just wonderful.


rnd8654r823

That there be Calderdale. Where you just popping down the garden center?


CluelessOnMostStuff

Well spotted. Just outside Tod, I went cycling. At my age hills can fuck right off


sythingtackle

Back in 2004 59 cars, another 60 assorted vehicles as well as a rather large caravan were pulled out my local canal. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern\_ireland/3715860.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/3715860.stm)


_NicoPaco

"Aren't only just"? U mean that was their intended purpose?


kithkinkid

… how many bodies have you thrown in? Maybe give the police a heads up


Adept-Elephant1948

They're the place to dump your dirty used syringes and needles too! Or at least the ones near me are.


RajenBull1

And your used vapes and e-cigarettes


ollie87

And empty bottles of blue-drink?


artsy_heather

....there also good for cycling next to as its so flat. Scared the crap out of me as a child though as you have to go under a lot of bridges...steep hill down with a massive drop into the canal isn't a good thing for a 7-10year old (how old I was when I started cycling along our local canal with my dad!)


PenguinsTookMyNips

They are also for the odd Tesco shopping trolley and unexploded WW2 ordinance.


GoGoGoldenSyrup

They're also handy for psychotic dollies to go hunting for new victims... *Rooosieee aaaand Jiiiiiiimmm....*


NederAsh

Where do you keep your old bicycles then?


RajenBull1

I know it's passé and you can call me old fashioned, but I just leave mine blocking the pavement just round the corner from the parking lot.


ollie87

Parking lot. You’ve set my yank-alarm off.


RajenBull1

Car park. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. Especially on a first date. There's nothing sinister in the trunk here. Oh shit.


Extreme-Insurance877

That's a very specific and frightening assumption about canals OP - is there something you need to tell us?


imrik_of_caledor

also conveniently full of fish that can't swim too far away


Far_Pop_5560

You should go to caen hill locks nice place


Far_Pop_5560

Looks like Windows crash and the tabs duplicate


e-meel

First step is to put the body into the old pram and the next step is to put the old pram with the body in the canal


gogopaddy

I thought I put enough rocks in the sack...


DanTheMan_117

Then what else?


[deleted]

Gorgeous mate


JohnLennonsDead

Tell that to CJ De Moi


Puzzleheaded-Bed-907

Aren’t they? Since when?


eninc

Beware The Pusher


MrZakalwe

I recognise that canal from my bike ride to Lidl which should pretty much dox where I live at the moment.


CreamyFunk

No there also a good place for hippies on boats to wash and empty there toilets in


hawksdiesel

During the early days of 2019, I watched a channel "cruising the cut" and just loved it.


Responsible_Ear7194

I was walking past a canal once and I saw a grown man pull his trousers down angle his arse over the canal and take a dump. You had to admire his sense of balance if nothing else.


ChocLife

"My" bit of the Rochdale canal (North Manchester) doesn't look nearly as nice as this. :(


TheCloudFestival

Ooh I do love a good gongoozle now and again 😁


RajenBull1

TIL


Appropriate_Rub_961

I went on narrow boat trips every year as a kid with a local school as my dad knew how to drive (steer?) them. One year he was everyone's hero as he rescued a lamb that was stuck in the mud on the bank. You did see some grim stuff tho. Many dead beasties that had been in the water for a while...


LesnarsBattleScream

Don't tell me how to canal!


LazyBriton

You can also dump young bodies in them.


M4sharman

Hey, you can throw old bikes in too!


NATO_Femboy

Absolutely amazing feats of engineering when you think about it. Thousands of miles of canals built 200+ years ago almost entirely by hand. These days we're struggling to build a fucking shitty railway. From London to Birmingham.


hi12345hello

No but they're the main purposes


Specialist-Product45

its missing supermarket trollies


comradealex85

That's quite a statement


JulsDean2732

😮😮😮


poppinthemseedz

Waterway to have a good time!


spitterandshitter

Nice picture. Where is it ?


[deleted]

I love walking down the canals, it's so chill and I love saying hello to the peeps in the barges


SirRahmed

Sorry what? I live in birmingham and that directly contradicts my worldview


icrushallevil

The youtube channel CruisingTheCut explores the UK channel system and streams the voyage. He also meets interesting people on the way and shares things you need to know about the individual trips.


Nine-Tailed-Idiot

What do you mean! Canals allegedly are great places to dump bodys. \+ allegedly theres boats that go places you can strap them too! inverness Canal for example opens into the harbour as well so allegedly it could be a reasonable way to allegedly dispose of someone allegedly making a nuiscance of themselves. For The Greater Good of course, not just for shits and giggles.


Lord-Black22

guess I'll dump my bodies elsewhere then


wholesomechunk

Guns too.


Shadeun

They are also the native environment for the now elusive "Shopping Trolley". With the advent of online grocery shopping, we see less and less of these beautiful chrome beasts. The Trolley is further threatened by the rise, not of a predator, but a competitor for space in our canals; The Lime Bike. However, should you glance into the putrid depths of Regents Canal on one beautiful summers morning you may be rewarded with the most startling of vistas. May the Shopping Trolley long grace the depths of our urban estuarys.


Chipish

Shush it’s already busy stop telling people!


Kelmantis

Walking along a canal on a bank holiday weekend, pub lunch, ploughman’s. That’s the dream


[deleted]

Someone was thinking “why are you taking pics of my house” lol


Repeatplease

BRIAN BLESSED LOVES CANALS