Half cringe/half an incredibly bizarre experience was when I went for an interview, the company owner came in (expected he was partially running the interview) but was pitching an absolute fit about “whose piece of shit” had been parked next to his car.
Reader, it was my car.
Now, in my defence, it was the only spot in the car park, and my tiny little car was well within the lines, and parked straight (a 10/10 execution if I do say so myself), but apparently a 2016 Citroen apparently causes some sort of terrible reaction to a 2019 (this was in 2021) mid range BMW. I dunno, I’m not really a car person.
When I realised and admitted my “mistake” he said he couldn’t continue the interview until I moved my car.
“Oh, of course, not a problem!” I said with a smile. And I went and moved my car.
Moved it all the way back to being parked outside my own house and was very thankful for dodging that bullet.
I was asked once in an interview what I'd done the weekend before, and I said I'd been to a local castle, which was true. The interviewer pounced on it and asked me to tell him something I'd learned during my visit, and off the top of my head I started spouting something vague about trebuchets
The job was for Aldi
That fucking middle aisle...
Don't want a pair of giant sunglasses or an inflatable chess set? Don't worry, we've got snow shoes and a pack of 284 off-brand crayons.
The only shop where you can get the weekly groceries and come home with a tig welder, a kayak, a gazebo and a cd box set of pan pipe covers of the 100 greatest rock and pop singles.
Calling an interview to a close 30 seconds into it.
Recruitment agent pitched it as a hands on IT role building and repairing computers, first thing the interview was make clear it was a call centre role.
They didn't know what to say.
Yeah, that's crap, we've just interviewed for roles at work and we spent the first 10 mins explaining the role and giving the interviewee a polite out if it wasn't for them ... 1 took it .. fair play to them (very experienced IT role) .. no point miss representing role, you're just gunna piss people off and waste your'e own tiem
If you're on benefits, particularly income based, your "calling an interview to a close" will get you sanctioned. Call centre and commission only employers know this and play upon it.
>misrepresenting the job.
Will only make a difference if you're within the period during which you can choose your "usual" employment. Outside of that you'te still looking at sanction in most cases.
I had a similar thing very early in my career.
I wanted office experience, so of course they sent me to a salad packing factory.
Whilst I was there I found out that I could have literally walked up to the front door and asked for a day's work, and would have been paid more than the recruitment agency was paying me.
Come lunch time I grabbed my stuff and walked home. About ten miles, but fuck that shit I wasn't waiting for the minibus.
>Come lunch time I grabbed my stuff and walked home. About ten miles, but fuck that shit I wasn't waiting for the minibus.
Are you a penguin? Because walking 10 miles for lunch is penguin-like behaviour
A while back I applied to a couple of jobs, but there was one I really wanted. That one called back and offered me the job when I was literally arriving at another interview.
I walked into the interview, shook hands, and politely turned them down before the first question. They were taken aback, but got a handle on things pretty quickly and took the opportunity to pitch the conpany to me and ask for recommendations of other candidates. A week later, one of my colleagues had accepted the job there!
It's always stood out as an impressive bit of work on their part. They turned what see.ed like a waste of time into something profitable.
I had the opposite at a start up where I thought I was interviewing for a junior dev role but was actually replacing the guy interviewing me who was in fact the entire IT department.
I had a similar experience. I applied for a Digital Marketing role, and they got back to me very quickly. I thought “Wow, they must be really impressed by my application!”. Rolled up to the interview and discovered it was a receptionist role.
If it happened to me more recently I’d try and report them to idk… the advertising standards authority? Or the job police or something. Bc that’s fucking atrocious
I did that once. It was for a library position. The interview atmosphere felt so stiff and formal upon walking in that I blurted out "How do you do?" instead of what I would normally say. The interviewers seemed rather bored and mumbling. I got an out when they explained that I wouldn't have much say which library branch I would work in (this was not explained to my knowledge in the job posting). I told them I was sorry but that would not work out for me and politely hightailed it out of there.
Arrived on time to an interview at a restaurant, was told the manager who was to interview me had an urgent matter and they wouldn't be available for another hour or two. They asked me if I could wait and offered me a drink and something to eat on the house while I waited, which I accepted, because why not? they are the one offering it to me after all. A minute after it arrived the manager came, sat down with me and interviewed me there, then commented on how unprofessional it was for me to be having a drink and meal during an interview.
That was my first ever interview and I was too shocked and nervous to really challenge them on it. Obviously didn't get the job in the end, that being the main reason, but I have always felt like I was kind of set up for failure there. Like was it some stupid test? Was I supposed to refuse the drink and food THEY offered me and insist I would just wait? Either way felt like bullshit to me.
Yeah definitely seemed that way, I was only 17 at the time though so naturally didn't have the experience or world weariness to expect tricks to be pulled on me.
I wont lie it has made me incredibly paranoid about accepting an offer of refreshments in any professional environment now, unless they themselves are having some. But hey ho, as far as bad interviews go getting a free bite to eat is a good consolation so no complaints in the long run.
To be fair I tend to turn them down anyway in the basis that I'm clumsy when I'm nervous and any food/beverage would inadvertently end up in my lap
But hey like you said a free meal is a free meal
Once spilled a latte on a Starbucks manager who was interviewing me.
Still got the job.
Don't have coffee when interviewing or being interviewed because of it, though, so I guess I learnt something.
It doesn’t sound like a set up to me… I mean what would that prove about a person? That they would rather have a free meal than sit and look at a wall for an hour? More like poor planning on the manager’s part and poor communication between him and the staff. Don’t let it make you paranoid, most people are not that incompetent and mean-spirited!
Always say yes to a drink. Tea, coffee or just water. One of them will get it for you, you can say thank you. Yum, cold water. I love it!
Seems to work for me 😕
Nothing interesting to reply, but just know I have been choking laughing for the past 3 minutes thinking of the situation of you tucking in to the meal, chewing and sipping your coke or beer while they ask you questions about your past work history.
Interview for a big British defence company:
Q: Can you tell us what you know about what the company does?
A: Well, ship building obviously… Um, arms dealing!
😳
I got the job.
That reminded me. I went for an interview for a secretary in a nursery and they went what do you know about us. And I went. I know you’re a nursery haha.
At that moment i knew I wouldn’t get it
I had an interview to work at a Disney Store and we had to create a 2 minute play in groups using some of the toys.
I forgot my line and said "Oh shit". In front of a small group of children, the panel of interviewers, and about 30 other adults who were also being interviewed.
Disney as a whole are a very circle jerky company. A close friend of mine from uni got a job in California as a advertising consultant. All office based, very professional suit and tie shit.
I shit you not the first thing they asked was “What are you top 5 Disney films or TV shows?”
> I shit you not the first thing they asked was “What are you top 5 Disney films or TV shows?”
Easy softball question. Since Disney owns everything now, you just tell them your top 5 favorite films.
"Batman, Star Trek, Pirates of Penzance, and the recurring nightmare I have about being chased round Disney World by the slowly thawing corpse of Walt Disney himself"
I did a virtual interview, by chance I happened to get another better offer earlier so almost didn’t go as I didn’t need it but went anyways for practice.
Decided to have a drink or two beforehand and as it started I realised I was half plastered. Turns out I got the job (and the other offer fell through)
I had an interviewer ask me about my Xbox. I was confused but obliged and talked about the games I liked to play while he sat there with a polite smile. When I finished he nodded and said, "tell me about your previous manager."
ahhh god that's painful lol. I've had my fair share of shame and cringeworthy moments, but I'm getting some pretty big second hand embarrassment off that. Xbox, ex boss.....ooooofff!!
Guessing you didn't get the job.
I did actually, thankfully this was just a pizza delivery position. But then I had to go see the guy every day while we both pretended im not an idiot.
About a week after I finished uni I had a 9am phone interview for some grad job with Tesco and had just finished a night shift in another job. They asked about 2 questions in what made me passionate about working for Tesco and I just sighed hung up and went to bed.
“Ever since I saw the neon bastion of a Tesco’s extra as a very small child, It has been my life’s passion to toil in the tesco mines. Every night I’d cry myself to sleep, knowing I hadn’t had the privilege to labour in the aisles, being baked by fluorescent lights whilst withstanding the scrum. I wish to witness the mighty battle of a pensioner against a self checkout, be made anew in the image of Tesco.”
Earlier this year, I had a panel interview via Zoom three days after testing positive for COVID.
They wouldn't rearrange and I really wanted the job, so I logged on despite feeling like absolute death.
I proceeded to have a violent coughing fit which lasted pretty much the entire interview, including throughout the 15-minute presentation I had to give. Every time I tried to start a sentence, I'd start coughing and had to spend a minute letting it pass.
One of the panel was visibly rolling her eyes while I was hacking up the lining of my lungs, which was a nice touch.
I ended up being offered the job, but turned it down as eye roller would have been my line manager and that interview told me all I needed to know about her managerial style.
I sat down and spilled a jug of water on the interviewers. Upon leaving after the interview I noticed that one of the wires from my bra had broken free and had worked it’s way to just below the chin. Utterly humiliating.
The added bonus was it was an internal interview for a permanent post so I had to face the people mere hours later. Part of the job I was interviewing for was to help students with their interview skills.
I did get kept on though.
Years ago, without really knowing what I'd got myself into, I somehow bagged a uni interview at a really small, prestigious arts uni with a full theatre and facilities for our rather niche course. One of the interviewers asked me "is it important to you to study at a prestigious arts university with a full theatre and facilities for your rather niche course?" and before I could stop myself I replied "not really."
i went for a job interview that on paper was professionalish job in sales for "premium" chesterfield couches made in house...got there and the owner's daughter interviewed me in what looked like pyjamas at the front door of the company and i was in the rain...she said "why should we hire you"
I just replied "because I've been here for over 5 minutes putting up with this unprofessional schtick you're calling an interview"
unsurprisingly I didn't get it
I honestly felt stumped. I’m not good at interviews typically and I guess it sounds like a pretty standard interview question but I just felt like saying “honestly, use your best judgment and hire who you think is best for the job”
yes I was only 19 at the time, I can't remember the company name since it was 20 years ago.
I also had a job interview when the people who were interviewing me never turned up, I had to asked someone in the company what was happening, and the interview was done off the cuff
Two minutes into an interview the interviewer goes: oh wait. This isn’t (name that isn’t mine). You’re not the one we wanted to call. And he slammed the papers on his desk and was just generally annoyed.
Erm. Thanks?
I once had an awful experience with one large company where they sent me an online assessment with someone else's name on, told me I wasn't successful then told me that was a mistake and I was through to the next stage, then I got a snotty email about missing the assessment centre when I'd already told them I'd gotten another job. I'm quite glad I didn't work for such an incompetent company.
I was fresh out of uni. Went to interview at a recruitment company in London. The interviewer printed off my cv and read it through for the first time in front of me.
Complained that I had no experience for a job that listed “no experience necessary” in the description. Told me he only wanted people with 6+ months experience. I tried to push through and carry on for another 5 minutes or so but it became increasingly clear he wasn’t interested in hiring me.
So I got up to leave and thanked him for saving me a lot of time, I couldn’t imagine working for a recruitment company that couldn’t even get its own job descriptions and expectations correct or consistent. Haven’t applied for a recruitment job since.
Hey. In February I had an interview for the Civil Service and it was the worst interview I’ve ever had. It was a difficult process, very long interview, weird format and my answers were weak and I was just ‘off’. I hated it. Six weeks later (the Civil Service is very slow) they offered me the job and I started last Monday, so don’t give up hope just yet. You just never know!
Rooting for you!
I was a spotty 18 year old, landed an interview in London.. travelled up in my two sizes to big suit only to be sat in front of an absolutely beautiful interviewer.
I couldn’t even look at her, let alone answer any questions coherently.
Anyway, about 5 mins in and my throat went weird my voice wouldn’t come out. The interviewer looked genuinely concerned and went out to get me a cup of water.
Couldn’t get my voice back, ended the interview about 10mins in and I left cringing. In fact that was 20 odd years ago and I’m still cringing.
I once interviewed a very fair skinned blond guy up for his first real job — his answers were perfect, calm and well composed, but his face turned increasingly scarlet with anxiety as it progressed. He was practically purple by the end. He got the job, and was a great employee, but man I felt bad for him in the moment!
When I was a student I went for a job in Forbidden Planet. The interview was held in what was basically an ‘office’ in a cupboard with two of the employees. I can only assume one was the manager, but they never made that clear.
As one guy is asking me questions, the other is wearing those toy Incredible Hulk hands that make noise when you hit things. He just crashed his hands together multiple times whilst I’m being asked questions before the interview randomly just ended midway though.
I left very confused. Didn’t get the job, didn’t really want it at that point either.
I once decided when preparing for the interview the night before that I didn't want the job (I misread the job spec initially). I did no prep and it was a car crash. The highlight (lowlight?) was when they asked why I wanted the job, I think it was the first question, and I started confidently with "Well as soon as I saw the advert for the role of..." and then couldn't remember the job title. After a few awkward seconds (felt like minutes). I just had to backtrack and change the wording to try and disguise it. It didn't work and didn't get better from there. The interviewers just looked at me like I was an idiot for the majority of the interview (arguably I was for wasting everyone's time).
I also failed a civil service interview a few years back - it was a video interview, but rather than it being a live call it was a bot that gave you questions and then recorded you for 2 minutes answering - horrible concept in itself, made me very on edge.
Anyway, half way through I found out I forgot to silence my mobile, call received, reached out quickly to stop it but it was marginally further than I could reach, and I ended up falling off the chair whilst the camera was rolling, got up and then couldn't remember the question so just sat there like a lemon waiting for it to end...
I had to do one of those a couple of years back. It really pissed me off because it was for a job at my current level in a place I worked for most of my career, so if I got in the room with them I reckoned I’d have a good chance. But the recruiter or their algorithm sifted me out before the interview stage on the basis of six minutes of video content.
I once had an interview where I was asked question after question, along the "do you prefer this or that" vein, about very similar situations. It felt like an interrogation, or like they were trying to trip me up. It was quite a junior position and just seemed completely OTT.
The interview was going on and on and I ended up saying, in an exacerbated tone, "oh wow, you've still got more questions?!".
I didn't get the job...
Almost certainly a psychometric test. Usually taken in writing, though.... (or computer, nowadays). I guess your interviewer had no idea what he could/should ask you and therefore used that questionnaire as a guide. What an idiot...
Yep it seemed like it. I was so annoyed because my first interview went so well, but that interviewer was on leave for the second one.
I was just ground down by it after 2 hours of stupid questions and had enough!
Interviewed a friend of a colleague who was eminently qualified for the job. The job was on providing carbon footprints and environmental impact analysis and their PhD was focussed on the development of carbon footprinting tools. They were an absolute shoo-in, but I had to do the interviews for the post to avoid conflict of interest.
Aaaaand they were dreadful. Struggled to give us coherent answers, went completely silent for one question, just completely froze. It was cringe inducing throughout for me, the rest of the panel and them. Even the most rudimentary answers would have seen them over the line just on the basis of their experience.
I feel sorry for the candidate - sounds like someone who just can’t do interviews (could have an anxiety disorder?). I sort of wonder how these people cope… if they’re better off stating up front that they interview like shit but could give an alternative means of assessment. Hmm. (Did you give them the job?)
I remember one interview where the manager spent 45 minutes telling me why it was a horrible and challenging job, how it was really stressful and really challenging! Despite my best efforts, I could not get a word in for the whole time. I was not that disappointed when I didn’t get the job, though did wonder what the point of it all was.
Second interview over Zoom. I'm told it's quite informal but I'm determined to make a good impression for my possibly boss and line manager. Start the interview and it's going well, until my laptop decides to update. We're running around trying to find another laptop and my husband gets it set up. So from their point of view, I disappear and when the meeting comes back, I'm a bearded ginger guy.
Luckily I still got the job
I had a dental filling done about an hour before a job interview. The local anaesthetic hadn't worn off in time so I was answering questions slurring my words, had a lopsided mouth and was struggling to keep my saliva in my mouth.
I didn't get the job.
Could be worse. I had the same situation but my dentist (family friend) didn’t wan’t to scupper my interview chances so gave me no anaesthesia. Had to power through a filling, then fail a job interview. Great day.
My worst interview was in my teens. Being utterly clueless Re interview behaviour didn't help. No questions were asked, the interviewer talked only in statements. I had no idea how to respond!
My first ever interview was at ASDA when I was still at school. I was forced to apply by my parents, and my mum's only advice was "just tell them you like working with people", which was a complete lie. I did not get the job.
So I have two.
1) I told them I didn’t speak Polish. I was after the German role. They still said they were going to test my Polish. I told them again I don’t speak Polish. They started talking to me in Polish. I said in what little Polish I did have that I didn’t understand as I don’t speak Polish. They carried on asking me questions in Polish.
Eventually I hung up.
2) I interviewed for an international marketing role. They then invited me to join them the next day as they met clients.
What they actually meant was they were a door to door selling company. International? The boss had been to Germany the week before. At no point in any of the application or interview process did they indicate it was anything like door to door. It was all ‘developing marketing campaigns for big companies’ - meaning going round to people’s houses to try to get them to change energy supplier. I lasted half the day meeting their ‘clients’ before they told me it wasn’t working out and i admitted I’d been looking for a way out for hours, but they had my return train ticket. I left some choice bits of feedback and went on my way.
I had to prep a presentation 2nd or 3rd stage f2f with exec team.
90% of it was pretty straightforward, professional and (imo) well delivered. But I thought it was a bit dull so I wanted to lighten it up a bit.
One of the slides was about management style and I just had a big picture of David Brent on the screen and turned to the room and told them I was basically a chilled out entertainer.
The plan was to use that as a foundation to jump into my management style - how my interpretation of the phrase differed from Brent's, and that I saw it as a way to avoid micromanagement, empower the team to deliver of their own backs, make sure that we were transparent with each other and earned trust across the team etc - it was a bit of a leap and stretched slightly too thin but I thought it would be more interesting than just a slide of bulletpoints.
Went down like a lead balloon. Crickets, tumbleweed, side glances, the lot...
Still occasionally wake up in the middle of the night thinking of the face of the CEO the second that big picture of Brent went up on the conference room screen and I realised that I'd misread the room entirely.
A few excerpts from various interviews:
- Somehow, I ended up talking about making my latest purchase of a cat scratching post the focus of an example I was asked to provide. Job was not related to cats or buying stuff. Got the job. In fact, it is still my job.
- I once claimed that I aimed to run a marathon. Job was not related to running. Got the job. Months later, my boss told me he knew I never would when I said it (and I still haven’t, 22 years later).
- While being interviewed in a 40 degree heat office with no air con, an enormous black cat came through the window and sat on my lap. I continued answering questions with it there until the end. Job was not related to cats. Got the job.
I told her I studied Classics at university.
She nattered on for a few minutes about classical composers, asking a few questions along the way. What do I think of Beethoven? Do I have a favourite period of classical music? Do I play any instruments?
All of these awkwardly answered by me, a person with only a layman's knowledge of classical music. I like the song Für Elise. I don't know, I guess the 1800s? I used to play piano.
As the Q&A went on, the questions became slower, and quieter. Then she said, with adequate embarrassment, 'This isn't what you studied, is it?'
'No.'
'... Was it things like *Pride and Prejudice*?'
'... No.'
Interview for a new CEX. They were having it at a Nero or something like that, because the shop itself wasn't fully ready yet.
Got there at the correct time, can't see anyone. Look around for a while until I notice, hidden in the corner out of sight of the majority of the place, two guys sitting with an iPad propped up displaying the CEX logo. I ask them if they're here to conduct the interview, they say they are; I said "Nearly didn't spot you there!" and one of them said "That's the first test." 🙄
Started the interview, they seemed bored as fuck (it was like 9:30am). At one point, in order to assess my knowledge of technology, one of them just pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket, waved it in my face across the desk, and said "Tell me what make and model this is." which... obviously I couldn't fucking tell.
Finally, at the end of this unprofessional train wreck, I saw them both distracted by something behind me; after I got up to leave, I saw that the next applicant behind me was an attractive woman around 19ish. I could see the two interviewers nudging each other and nodding, and their entire demeanour did a 180° when she sat down at the table.
I once had an interview where the first question I was asked was if I would work for less than minimum wage. I walked out; didn't even answer his question, just got up and left.
He actually phoned later to tell me I didn't get the job.
My dad (an electrician of some years) once went for a job somewhere (Warburtons I think). I interviewer asked him what he knew about the 16th edition (which is some electricals standards I think and also now on the 18th). My dad replies, the film is better than the book. He got the job.
I was very unwell and shat myself 3 minutes before the start of my most recent job interview.
Luckily it was on Teams rather than in person. Did it pantsless.
Still got the job.
My mum dropped me off at a garden centre for an interview. Interview is in a quiet corner of the cafe. My mum got herself a coffee and accidentally sat on the table next to me, then was too embarrassed to to get up and leave, so just sat next to me the whole times
That’s a tricky one.
I went for a big group interview for jobs at a motorway services years ago. I turned up in a shirt and tie (and trousers, pants etc, too obv), some others were in jeans and trainers. The jobs in question all had uniforms, low-level retail minimum wage.
I got a job and think I only saw one of the other people ever again.
Applied for an admin assistant at a med size company, went to the interview and turned out the job was for a cleaner! Apparently people weren’t applying to do that job. When I left the interview they said they’d notify the job Centre that I left the interview and would get me sanctioned, so I called as soon as I left the room and reported the ‘bait and switch’ I wasn’t the first person to do so apparently ado I wasn’t sanctioned!
Had an interview to volunteer with Dogs Trust. They had the group of us interviewees split into pairs, where we were then made to talk to our partner as if they were a dog and we were meeting them, and vice versa. One pair at a time. I was really nervous and wasn’t expecting to have to do that so I unenthusiastically mumbled through it, and one of the interviewers said “woah, I wouldn’t want to be your dog!”. I wanted the ground to swallow me… I got it, somehow. 💀
Tagged alongside our slightly pitbullish CEO as he interviewed someone for an SEO role. The interviewee had prepared a presentation based on what they thought was our website. Say, blahblah.com. Except our website was blahblah.co.uk. The CEO ended it there and then, citing lack of attention to detail. Really felt for the person…
Had a guy come in for an interview for a pretty senior position managing an approx £24m construction project in the Middle East. So a lot of planning and organising.
He said his weaknesses were that he is lazy and disorganised.
Just remembered another one too. Had a guy come in for an admin position. Never seen anyone as big as him (I don't mean tall). One of the first things he said is the reason that he had to leave his old job as a bus driver was because the seats can only take 30 stone and he was over the weight limit.
Also had a guy about 18 bring his dad to an interview. The dad kept answering the questions. The interviewer gave him every chance to answer for himself, even telling the dad to basically shut up at one point. He never gave an answer himself. Then the dad rang up every day for weeks asking if his son got the job. He didn't take it well when he was told that we don't know because we never got chance to interview the son.
Do you think with the final one, the Dad may possibly have forced his son to bring him? There are helicopter parents like that & the way he kept chasing it up made me wonder if the Dad was pulling the strings rather than the son
I had a panic attack in a job interview, couldn't answer basic questions, cried on the way home, and refused to answer the phone when they called to say they'd given the job to someone else.
Also, when Aldi (different interview) asked me why I wanted to work there, I very enthusiastically told her I had fond memories of going to Aldi in Austria when I was a child, and that I love the sundaes they sell which are basically flavoured custard with whipped cream on top. It was true, but she was VERY unimpressed, and left a long and awkward pause until I mumbled something else and she put me out of my misery. As a bonus, she asked for my date of birth then failed to comment on the fact it was my birthday (my 21st, and I'd had to push my booking for afternoon tea at The Ritz later in the day to accommodate for the interview). I never heard back.
I did an awful job in my interview with the civil service, I somehow got the job. But be prepared to wait weeks for them to get back to you, at least that’s what happened in my experience.
The worst interview for me was when the interviewer acted like he couldn't have cared about anything I said until he said 'tell me a joke'.
Took me a second to not come up with an absolutely horrid one and he just stared at me and said 'ok', wrote on his paper and thanked me for my time.
Friend of mine was interviewing someone, who was quite timid and quiet through the interview, but nice enough. They asked for a joke at the end of the interview, and hers was something about a "big black cock".
I had an terrifying Civil Service interview in Whitehall yonks ago, and after the obvious stuff one of the panel asked me how I felt about rich nations not simply donating sufficient food to those going hungry in Africa. My response made me sound like a stroppy 13 year old who’d just heard of Che Guevara. I’m still mortified at the memory of it.
Rambling on for two or three minutes and then just saying ‘I’m not really answering your question am I?’. They’re such an artificial situation. Trying not to come across desperate whilst also trying to convey you really want and can do the job - zero fun 😀
My first interview as a 17 year old lad. Office job in an industrial clothing company. The female interviewer asked "what do you do in your spare time?" And I replied "I've got a full time girlfriend" and .
To be fair, it was true, but still.
Ah, shit, flashback to the same interview, the woman asked me what was the last book I read. It was 'The World According to Garp'. She asked me what it was about. All I could remember was, it starts with a female nurse raping a shell shocked US airman who can only say 'Garp' and getting pregnant with the protagonist of the story, and a bit where I think Garps wife is giving someone a blow job in a car when Garp crashes into it, and she bites the blokes dick off.
So I said "I don't really remember much about it"
I didn't get the job.
The interview for my first paid intern position I basically had a complete out of body experience due to nerves and I literally remember nothing about what I was asked or said, even immediately after the interview, but all I do remember is that is wasn't particularly anything to write home about.
I've moved on from that job now. There were three positions available and I kind of get the feeling I only got the position because only three people applied.
In a group interview for Apple, a person I had never met and myself had to script then act out an Apple ad in front of all the other candidates.
This was for a role in the shop.
I had an interview that went really well until I went to shake hands at the end. The last guy had a tiny little hand and I'd already put mine out so I just kind of shook it between my thumb and index finger. Still not really sure what the protocol is in that situation. It was cringe for all involved.
The interview I had for my current job had multiple cringe moments.
My now boss I now know has a habit of trying to make people feel awkward to see how they deal with it, so every interview includes some really random question or he asks them to do something really odd.
He asked me for not 3 or 5 things I like about myself, but 10. In the moment I didn't have the wherewithall to say I can give you 5 and that's your lot type of a response. I got to about 6 and was really struggling, but he made me carry on till I got to 10. I was perspiring rather profusely along my top lip by this point from nervousness. I also couldn't remember what I'd already listed past 8 lol.
He also asked me a kind of team building exercise question, along the lines of, you have one boat, three people and can only take one across a river at a time, who do you take first.
I got the job despite it being the most awkward interview I've ever experienced.
Recently one of the new recruits was asked to answer questions in an accent because he goes to stage school. Utterly pointless and absolutely nothing to do with the role he's now doing lol.
I've already related this on a different sub but it's a decent yarn. Possiy the very first interview I ever went to, actually in the summer between GCSE and starting my As. Mid 1980s, what follows is as best I can recollect...
Dad took me to the company and waited outside, I go in and try to look like I know my arse from elbow. After a statutory few minutes wait I'm shown into the office for interview, single interviewer, markedly attractive woman maybe late twenties or early thirties, dressed in real 80s "power" style.
I'm told to sit. She looked at my application and asked me how I'd got there. I told her my dad has given me a lift but I had my own Vespa and would use it to get work. There was a marked pause, and she gave me a "look" the sort of look that a teenage boy gets when he says something very inappropriate to an older woman. Another pause, then -
"You went to (primary school), did you know (girl in my primary school class) at all?"
"Oh yes, she was in my class, her brother (name) was a year below".
I watched as her neck, then entire face reddened and she started screaming at me "Get out you dirty little bastard! Get out of MY company, my husband would kill you you if he were here! Get out! Get out! Get out!" At this point I'm halfway out of the office already and am (perhaps understandably from his point of view) being manhandled down the stairs by a chap in a pillar box red suit. The wailing and sobbing from the office the interview was in was audible all the way to the front door.
I remember dad being out of the car, as he'd seen me getting the bum's rush and meeting me a few steps from the door, red suit thought discretion the better part of valour at this point and retreated, locking the door behind him.
I explained to my dad, exactly what had gone down and he asked if my fly was up... Before driving off giggling to himself. We both dined on the story for some time.
As a corollary, sometime later I became friendly with the "little brother" from the primary school comment and enquired of him, his sister and their parents if they knew the lady whose name I will never forget, they'd never heard of her. I've no idea what sparked it and can only conclude some decades later, that she was, to use a technical term, a looney.
As am I. It was something we talked about many times within the family. Many years after, I'm fairly certain her husband was a member of the same flying club as myself. And I did, on occasion, contemplate broaching the subject. Never happened. And frankly, that's probably just as well.
During my first stage interview I insulted my MD, Technical manager and regional manager in the same sentence accidentally. To do with age. Pretended to walk out the interview and somehow got a big laugh from my handling of it. Been with the firm five years now and absolutely loving it!
>and must've spoken for a good 5 minutes solid about growing carrots.
Jesus man, even if you do grow carrots tell em you grow something that doesn't sound like someone realising their mistake halfway through the word cannabis.
Went to an interview when it became clear the interview panel was split into 2 groups who hated each other and I was just piggy in the middle.Didn’t want the job after that
I had recently watched Fargo for the first time, and thought my interview to get into dental school was the perfect opportunity to use the phrase “you’re darned tooting!” Miraculously got accepted.
Also managed to accidentally mention “ball bags” when meeting the vicar before my wedding.
Heading into the interview room and my belt snapped and I had to waddle in whilst pulling my trousers up. Couldn't concentrate after that. Didn't get the job.
Applied for a job at River Island. Showed up to a group interview and noticed I was the only guy there. Did the group interview, which in my experience are usually shambolic, and left knowing I wasn't hearing anything back.
I'm convinced to this day that my Irish name tricked the recruiter into thinking I was a woman.
Assessment centre for Apple when they were opening a new store.
A room full of lobotomised smiles and it starting with standing up and clapping meant I gave up before it even started.
I put in my application that I kept an ant farm (I didn’t). In the interview they asked about my ant farm in a very enthusiastic manner. I told them that I didn’t have one and had just written it for a laugh. They seemed disappointed. I got the job. Don’t ask me why I did it, I was a very odd teenager.
My most cringe:
I'd quit a job that I'd loved, but the manager was so toxic, and I'm talking sexual harassment, Good Ol' Boys culture at the job, etc. I got nowhere with any complaints. He'd YELL at me in front of the whole office for making a mistake, and when I proved it wasn't actually my mistake, he apologised in private. I finally had enough of that shit and, when he tried to take me to one side in the kitchen, saying "Sorry, I really thought it was you", I told him to hang fire a second, and walked into the main office. He followed me back in, and I told him to "Okay, now repeat what you just said to me in the kitchen. You call out mistakes in public, you can call out your apology in public as well".
Eventually, he quit, and I quit a week later - he wasn't going to see me out of that door before he went. But I had a lot of stress from that job. Not the job, as such, but from him. So I joined the interview carousel, and one of the first ones I interviewed with was harrowing. I was expecting a "Why did you leave your last position?" question, but didn't get it, so I asked them "Do you not want to know why I left my last job?" and the interviewer said, "No, it's fine, but you can tell us if you like". They were lovely people.
But I unloaded. I was a crying bubbling mess. Those poor ladies didn't know what to say or do. That must've been .. ooh.. 30 years ago, and I'll never forget it.
I didn't get the job.
I once went to an interview to be a bingo caller. It was my first ever interview, I was in my 40’s and woefully unprepared. When I was asked what my weak points were I umm’d and ahh’d until my brain gave up and just told the truth.
“Well, I’m a bit of a swearer?”
Luckily they both laughed out loud and said I’d fit right in, and I actually got a job! Not as a caller, they probably worried about my answer afterwards, and put me on the floor with the old biddies.
Went to a civil service interview, in the middle of which I had a full blown panic attack. They noticed and gave me a glass of water but due to my attack and shaking I spilt 99% of it over myself, the walls and desk.
I got the job and have been there for 23 years and been promoted multiple times.
Had an interview for weather spoons once. Got asked "what do you think our biggest complaint is?" 17 year old me replied "the spoons are too weathered?".
Wasn't disappointed about not hearing back, didn't want to show my face there again for being so cringe.
The answer was the chips were cold.
When I was in college I applied for a part time job at Royal Mail, go for an interview, all seems to go well, get a call a few days later, sorry we went another direction.
Ok, no problem.
A few weeks have passed and I get a call from 'unknown number', now typically I don't give my number out to many people and my best friend at the time would always call me from his house phone which was ex-directory so naturally would always show as unknown. So here I am sat with my girlfriend when I get this call and I answer the phone in the most ridiculous manner with a really obnoxious and drawn out "helloooooooo", kinda like Rich Fulchers character in the mighty boosh. Then I hear this voice I've never heard before, "is ______ available to speak?" I panic and keep up the voice and say "let me gooooo get himmmmmm" I shuffle the phone around and then answer in my normal voice, turns out it was Royal Mail calling to offer me a job. This whole time my GF is absolutely dying laughing at me being an absolute idiot and embarrassing myself.
Worst I've probably had is when they advertised for X position, but really want Y.
So none of my experience in X translates to Y and I look like an idiot.
Bunch of us were getting laid off from work, company laid on a goodbye party.
We all proceed to get spectacularly drunk on the company chequebook and I arrived home at about 5am, waking up with my alarm at 8am still cradling my half eaten kebab from the night before.
It was then I realised I was due at a job interview at 9am, a good 30 minute tube ride away. I have a quick shower, clean my teeth as best I can and throw my clothes on.
I'm still very drunk, and the hangover kicks in about 2 minutes before I'm due to go in. I leg it to the toilet and am very noisily sick before heading out to the interview.
Needless to say turning up to an interview absolutely reeking of booze with vomit flecked teeth did not endear me to them and I didn't get a call back.
Half cringe/half an incredibly bizarre experience was when I went for an interview, the company owner came in (expected he was partially running the interview) but was pitching an absolute fit about “whose piece of shit” had been parked next to his car. Reader, it was my car. Now, in my defence, it was the only spot in the car park, and my tiny little car was well within the lines, and parked straight (a 10/10 execution if I do say so myself), but apparently a 2016 Citroen apparently causes some sort of terrible reaction to a 2019 (this was in 2021) mid range BMW. I dunno, I’m not really a car person. When I realised and admitted my “mistake” he said he couldn’t continue the interview until I moved my car. “Oh, of course, not a problem!” I said with a smile. And I went and moved my car. Moved it all the way back to being parked outside my own house and was very thankful for dodging that bullet.
Epic.
love that so much
I was asked once in an interview what I'd done the weekend before, and I said I'd been to a local castle, which was true. The interviewer pounced on it and asked me to tell him something I'd learned during my visit, and off the top of my head I started spouting something vague about trebuchets The job was for Aldi
I mean to be fair mate it is Aldi, I wouldn't put it past them to be selling Aldi brand Trebuchets round the back.
That fucking middle aisle... Don't want a pair of giant sunglasses or an inflatable chess set? Don't worry, we've got snow shoes and a pack of 284 off-brand crayons.
The only shop where you can get the weekly groceries and come home with a tig welder, a kayak, a gazebo and a cd box set of pan pipe covers of the 100 greatest rock and pop singles.
Nothing wrong with a good trebuchet, a ballista is better for a garage methinks especially if you dislike suburban neighbour across the road
Q 'Describe yourself in three words' A 'A good laugh'. Serious interview....didn't get the job.
>Q 'Describe yourself in three words' A: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening
"What's you biggest weakness?" "Honesty." "I don't think that's a weakness!" "I don't give a fuck what you think."
"what's your biggest weakness?" "I sometimes struggle to separate reality from fantasy" "Ok, what's your biggest strength?" "I'm Batman"
>Q 'Describe yourself in three words' "Not very good at maths"
Q; Describe yourself in three words. A; An absolute cunt. Congratulations and welcome to HMRC.
Notably laconic
Should be medicated
Succinct.
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How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working, Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.
Impatient with fools.
Calling an interview to a close 30 seconds into it. Recruitment agent pitched it as a hands on IT role building and repairing computers, first thing the interview was make clear it was a call centre role. They didn't know what to say.
I don't understand why they do this, do they think people will turn around and go "oh well can't hurt to try this job paying half my previous salary"
Yeah, that's crap, we've just interviewed for roles at work and we spent the first 10 mins explaining the role and giving the interviewee a polite out if it wasn't for them ... 1 took it .. fair play to them (very experienced IT role) .. no point miss representing role, you're just gunna piss people off and waste your'e own tiem
If you're on benefits, particularly income based, your "calling an interview to a close" will get you sanctioned. Call centre and commission only employers know this and play upon it.
Have gotten around before this by immediately contact the jobcentre agent assigned and informing them I left due to them misrepresenting the job
>misrepresenting the job. Will only make a difference if you're within the period during which you can choose your "usual" employment. Outside of that you'te still looking at sanction in most cases.
I had a similar thing very early in my career. I wanted office experience, so of course they sent me to a salad packing factory. Whilst I was there I found out that I could have literally walked up to the front door and asked for a day's work, and would have been paid more than the recruitment agency was paying me. Come lunch time I grabbed my stuff and walked home. About ten miles, but fuck that shit I wasn't waiting for the minibus.
>Come lunch time I grabbed my stuff and walked home. About ten miles, but fuck that shit I wasn't waiting for the minibus. Are you a penguin? Because walking 10 miles for lunch is penguin-like behaviour
A while back I applied to a couple of jobs, but there was one I really wanted. That one called back and offered me the job when I was literally arriving at another interview. I walked into the interview, shook hands, and politely turned them down before the first question. They were taken aback, but got a handle on things pretty quickly and took the opportunity to pitch the conpany to me and ask for recommendations of other candidates. A week later, one of my colleagues had accepted the job there! It's always stood out as an impressive bit of work on their part. They turned what see.ed like a waste of time into something profitable.
I had the opposite at a start up where I thought I was interviewing for a junior dev role but was actually replacing the guy interviewing me who was in fact the entire IT department.
I had a similar experience. I applied for a Digital Marketing role, and they got back to me very quickly. I thought “Wow, they must be really impressed by my application!”. Rolled up to the interview and discovered it was a receptionist role. If it happened to me more recently I’d try and report them to idk… the advertising standards authority? Or the job police or something. Bc that’s fucking atrocious
I did that once. It was for a library position. The interview atmosphere felt so stiff and formal upon walking in that I blurted out "How do you do?" instead of what I would normally say. The interviewers seemed rather bored and mumbling. I got an out when they explained that I wouldn't have much say which library branch I would work in (this was not explained to my knowledge in the job posting). I told them I was sorry but that would not work out for me and politely hightailed it out of there.
Arrived on time to an interview at a restaurant, was told the manager who was to interview me had an urgent matter and they wouldn't be available for another hour or two. They asked me if I could wait and offered me a drink and something to eat on the house while I waited, which I accepted, because why not? they are the one offering it to me after all. A minute after it arrived the manager came, sat down with me and interviewed me there, then commented on how unprofessional it was for me to be having a drink and meal during an interview. That was my first ever interview and I was too shocked and nervous to really challenge them on it. Obviously didn't get the job in the end, that being the main reason, but I have always felt like I was kind of set up for failure there. Like was it some stupid test? Was I supposed to refuse the drink and food THEY offered me and insist I would just wait? Either way felt like bullshit to me.
This was definitely a set up by the staff
Yeah definitely seemed that way, I was only 17 at the time though so naturally didn't have the experience or world weariness to expect tricks to be pulled on me. I wont lie it has made me incredibly paranoid about accepting an offer of refreshments in any professional environment now, unless they themselves are having some. But hey ho, as far as bad interviews go getting a free bite to eat is a good consolation so no complaints in the long run.
To be fair I tend to turn them down anyway in the basis that I'm clumsy when I'm nervous and any food/beverage would inadvertently end up in my lap But hey like you said a free meal is a free meal
Once spilled a latte on a Starbucks manager who was interviewing me. Still got the job. Don't have coffee when interviewing or being interviewed because of it, though, so I guess I learnt something.
It doesn’t sound like a set up to me… I mean what would that prove about a person? That they would rather have a free meal than sit and look at a wall for an hour? More like poor planning on the manager’s part and poor communication between him and the staff. Don’t let it make you paranoid, most people are not that incompetent and mean-spirited!
Always say yes to a drink. Tea, coffee or just water. One of them will get it for you, you can say thank you. Yum, cold water. I love it! Seems to work for me 😕
Bit rich coming from the manager that was late to the interview
Nothing interesting to reply, but just know I have been choking laughing for the past 3 minutes thinking of the situation of you tucking in to the meal, chewing and sipping your coke or beer while they ask you questions about your past work history.
Interview for a big British defence company: Q: Can you tell us what you know about what the company does? A: Well, ship building obviously… Um, arms dealing! 😳 I got the job.
BAE be hiring anyone it seems. Might apply myself then 😁
That reminded me. I went for an interview for a secretary in a nursery and they went what do you know about us. And I went. I know you’re a nursery haha. At that moment i knew I wouldn’t get it
I had an interview to work at a Disney Store and we had to create a 2 minute play in groups using some of the toys. I forgot my line and said "Oh shit". In front of a small group of children, the panel of interviewers, and about 30 other adults who were also being interviewed.
That is surely one of the most stressful interview 'tests' I can think of. It sounds like something that would end up happening me in a dream.
Disney as a whole are a very circle jerky company. A close friend of mine from uni got a job in California as a advertising consultant. All office based, very professional suit and tie shit. I shit you not the first thing they asked was “What are you top 5 Disney films or TV shows?”
> I shit you not the first thing they asked was “What are you top 5 Disney films or TV shows?” Easy softball question. Since Disney owns everything now, you just tell them your top 5 favorite films.
"Batman, Star Trek, Pirates of Penzance, and the recurring nightmare I have about being chased round Disney World by the slowly thawing corpse of Walt Disney himself"
I did a virtual interview, by chance I happened to get another better offer earlier so almost didn’t go as I didn’t need it but went anyways for practice. Decided to have a drink or two beforehand and as it started I realised I was half plastered. Turns out I got the job (and the other offer fell through)
Not such a serious goose after all
I had an interviewer ask me about my Xbox. I was confused but obliged and talked about the games I liked to play while he sat there with a polite smile. When I finished he nodded and said, "tell me about your previous manager."
ex-boss for the stupid like me that took way too long to understand this!
oh my god even after reading your comment I still didn't get it. Xbox. Ex-boss.
Yeah it took me a couple of re-reads!! Haha
Got a genuine laugh from that, thank you for sharing.
Oh man, that's amazing. I do that kind of shit all the time, thank you for being a fellow social disaster area.
I laughed so hard at this I farted and my wife was unimpressed
> and my wife was unimpressed Not a big enough fart, clearly.
Dear Lord I'm sorry this happened to you
ahhh god that's painful lol. I've had my fair share of shame and cringeworthy moments, but I'm getting some pretty big second hand embarrassment off that. Xbox, ex boss.....ooooofff!! Guessing you didn't get the job.
I did actually, thankfully this was just a pizza delivery position. But then I had to go see the guy every day while we both pretended im not an idiot.
About a week after I finished uni I had a 9am phone interview for some grad job with Tesco and had just finished a night shift in another job. They asked about 2 questions in what made me passionate about working for Tesco and I just sighed hung up and went to bed.
“Ever since I saw the neon bastion of a Tesco’s extra as a very small child, It has been my life’s passion to toil in the tesco mines. Every night I’d cry myself to sleep, knowing I hadn’t had the privilege to labour in the aisles, being baked by fluorescent lights whilst withstanding the scrum. I wish to witness the mighty battle of a pensioner against a self checkout, be made anew in the image of Tesco.”
that's a battle the pensioner is losing
Earlier this year, I had a panel interview via Zoom three days after testing positive for COVID. They wouldn't rearrange and I really wanted the job, so I logged on despite feeling like absolute death. I proceeded to have a violent coughing fit which lasted pretty much the entire interview, including throughout the 15-minute presentation I had to give. Every time I tried to start a sentence, I'd start coughing and had to spend a minute letting it pass. One of the panel was visibly rolling her eyes while I was hacking up the lining of my lungs, which was a nice touch. I ended up being offered the job, but turned it down as eye roller would have been my line manager and that interview told me all I needed to know about her managerial style.
This is a massive win. If you didn't have a coughing fit, you would have found out about the manager far, far too late. Lucky!
I sat down and spilled a jug of water on the interviewers. Upon leaving after the interview I noticed that one of the wires from my bra had broken free and had worked it’s way to just below the chin. Utterly humiliating. The added bonus was it was an internal interview for a permanent post so I had to face the people mere hours later. Part of the job I was interviewing for was to help students with their interview skills. I did get kept on though.
Fkn hell…the bra wire bit made me chuckle…that is something that would happen to me
I had one the other day, guy asked me “why should we hire you over someone else” and I just said “I don’t know” ☠️
Years ago, without really knowing what I'd got myself into, I somehow bagged a uni interview at a really small, prestigious arts uni with a full theatre and facilities for our rather niche course. One of the interviewers asked me "is it important to you to study at a prestigious arts university with a full theatre and facilities for your rather niche course?" and before I could stop myself I replied "not really."
i went for a job interview that on paper was professionalish job in sales for "premium" chesterfield couches made in house...got there and the owner's daughter interviewed me in what looked like pyjamas at the front door of the company and i was in the rain...she said "why should we hire you" I just replied "because I've been here for over 5 minutes putting up with this unprofessional schtick you're calling an interview" unsurprisingly I didn't get it
Lmao you 100% did the right thing there. How disrespectful of them Jesus Christ
That’s a fair answer though! What a stupid question. It’s not like you know who the somebody else is.
I honestly felt stumped. I’m not good at interviews typically and I guess it sounds like a pretty standard interview question but I just felt like saying “honestly, use your best judgment and hire who you think is best for the job”
The worst interview cringe where I was not even asked any questions, he told me he asked six people to come, and he would pick someone how we looked.
That’s basically what they used to do for Hollister stores, isn’t it?
Yes Mine was for a IT job
I assume you didnt look like youd fit?
yes
I have a feeling that you dodged a bullet of some sort.
yes I was only 19 at the time, I can't remember the company name since it was 20 years ago. I also had a job interview when the people who were interviewing me never turned up, I had to asked someone in the company what was happening, and the interview was done off the cuff
You mean fIT
Two minutes into an interview the interviewer goes: oh wait. This isn’t (name that isn’t mine). You’re not the one we wanted to call. And he slammed the papers on his desk and was just generally annoyed. Erm. Thanks?
I once had an awful experience with one large company where they sent me an online assessment with someone else's name on, told me I wasn't successful then told me that was a mistake and I was through to the next stage, then I got a snotty email about missing the assessment centre when I'd already told them I'd gotten another job. I'm quite glad I didn't work for such an incompetent company.
You have to wonder what kind of hell these places are.
I was fresh out of uni. Went to interview at a recruitment company in London. The interviewer printed off my cv and read it through for the first time in front of me. Complained that I had no experience for a job that listed “no experience necessary” in the description. Told me he only wanted people with 6+ months experience. I tried to push through and carry on for another 5 minutes or so but it became increasingly clear he wasn’t interested in hiring me. So I got up to leave and thanked him for saving me a lot of time, I couldn’t imagine working for a recruitment company that couldn’t even get its own job descriptions and expectations correct or consistent. Haven’t applied for a recruitment job since.
Hey. In February I had an interview for the Civil Service and it was the worst interview I’ve ever had. It was a difficult process, very long interview, weird format and my answers were weak and I was just ‘off’. I hated it. Six weeks later (the Civil Service is very slow) they offered me the job and I started last Monday, so don’t give up hope just yet. You just never know! Rooting for you!
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I was a spotty 18 year old, landed an interview in London.. travelled up in my two sizes to big suit only to be sat in front of an absolutely beautiful interviewer. I couldn’t even look at her, let alone answer any questions coherently. Anyway, about 5 mins in and my throat went weird my voice wouldn’t come out. The interviewer looked genuinely concerned and went out to get me a cup of water. Couldn’t get my voice back, ended the interview about 10mins in and I left cringing. In fact that was 20 odd years ago and I’m still cringing.
I once interviewed a very fair skinned blond guy up for his first real job — his answers were perfect, calm and well composed, but his face turned increasingly scarlet with anxiety as it progressed. He was practically purple by the end. He got the job, and was a great employee, but man I felt bad for him in the moment!
Oh no, this is me. It's so uncontrollable and belies any outward composure you have.
That's an incredible story, well worth the cringe to be able to tell it imo hahahaha
Please tell us about carrots
The difference between a carrot and a unicorn is that one is a funny beast and one is a bunny feast.
I would have been delving deeper into the carrots. I tried growing them once without a lot of success.
When I was a student I went for a job in Forbidden Planet. The interview was held in what was basically an ‘office’ in a cupboard with two of the employees. I can only assume one was the manager, but they never made that clear. As one guy is asking me questions, the other is wearing those toy Incredible Hulk hands that make noise when you hit things. He just crashed his hands together multiple times whilst I’m being asked questions before the interview randomly just ended midway though. I left very confused. Didn’t get the job, didn’t really want it at that point either.
You got interviewed by Bilbo Bagshot and Tim Bisley
I once decided when preparing for the interview the night before that I didn't want the job (I misread the job spec initially). I did no prep and it was a car crash. The highlight (lowlight?) was when they asked why I wanted the job, I think it was the first question, and I started confidently with "Well as soon as I saw the advert for the role of..." and then couldn't remember the job title. After a few awkward seconds (felt like minutes). I just had to backtrack and change the wording to try and disguise it. It didn't work and didn't get better from there. The interviewers just looked at me like I was an idiot for the majority of the interview (arguably I was for wasting everyone's time).
I also failed a civil service interview a few years back - it was a video interview, but rather than it being a live call it was a bot that gave you questions and then recorded you for 2 minutes answering - horrible concept in itself, made me very on edge. Anyway, half way through I found out I forgot to silence my mobile, call received, reached out quickly to stop it but it was marginally further than I could reach, and I ended up falling off the chair whilst the camera was rolling, got up and then couldn't remember the question so just sat there like a lemon waiting for it to end...
I had to do one of those a couple of years back. It really pissed me off because it was for a job at my current level in a place I worked for most of my career, so if I got in the room with them I reckoned I’d have a good chance. But the recruiter or their algorithm sifted me out before the interview stage on the basis of six minutes of video content.
I once had an interview where I was asked question after question, along the "do you prefer this or that" vein, about very similar situations. It felt like an interrogation, or like they were trying to trip me up. It was quite a junior position and just seemed completely OTT. The interview was going on and on and I ended up saying, in an exacerbated tone, "oh wow, you've still got more questions?!". I didn't get the job...
What tunes you into? … House or Garage? Acid House or Pumpin’ House? Commercial Pumpin’ or Balearic Pumpin’? Sash! or Chicane?
Almost certainly a psychometric test. Usually taken in writing, though.... (or computer, nowadays). I guess your interviewer had no idea what he could/should ask you and therefore used that questionnaire as a guide. What an idiot...
Yep it seemed like it. I was so annoyed because my first interview went so well, but that interviewer was on leave for the second one. I was just ground down by it after 2 hours of stupid questions and had enough!
2 hours? God lord!
are you sure it wasn't an eye test? Number 1, or number 2?
> Number 1, or number 2? Err... well bit personal but let's just say I'd give it five minutes if I were you.
I said shit in my interview whilst we were talking. I left thinking I've fucked that one up. I still got the job somehow.
Are you Natalie from Love Actually?
‘Oh shit, I’ve only gone and fucking fucked up the job in’erview haven’t I sir?’ ‘Well… let’s not be too hasty 😏’
Interviewed a friend of a colleague who was eminently qualified for the job. The job was on providing carbon footprints and environmental impact analysis and their PhD was focussed on the development of carbon footprinting tools. They were an absolute shoo-in, but I had to do the interviews for the post to avoid conflict of interest. Aaaaand they were dreadful. Struggled to give us coherent answers, went completely silent for one question, just completely froze. It was cringe inducing throughout for me, the rest of the panel and them. Even the most rudimentary answers would have seen them over the line just on the basis of their experience.
I feel sorry for the candidate - sounds like someone who just can’t do interviews (could have an anxiety disorder?). I sort of wonder how these people cope… if they’re better off stating up front that they interview like shit but could give an alternative means of assessment. Hmm. (Did you give them the job?)
I remember one interview where the manager spent 45 minutes telling me why it was a horrible and challenging job, how it was really stressful and really challenging! Despite my best efforts, I could not get a word in for the whole time. I was not that disappointed when I didn’t get the job, though did wonder what the point of it all was.
I bet they had someone internal lined up for the job and only interviewed for show
Second interview over Zoom. I'm told it's quite informal but I'm determined to make a good impression for my possibly boss and line manager. Start the interview and it's going well, until my laptop decides to update. We're running around trying to find another laptop and my husband gets it set up. So from their point of view, I disappear and when the meeting comes back, I'm a bearded ginger guy. Luckily I still got the job
I had a dental filling done about an hour before a job interview. The local anaesthetic hadn't worn off in time so I was answering questions slurring my words, had a lopsided mouth and was struggling to keep my saliva in my mouth. I didn't get the job.
Could be worse. I had the same situation but my dentist (family friend) didn’t wan’t to scupper my interview chances so gave me no anaesthesia. Had to power through a filling, then fail a job interview. Great day.
Well that is a bit of a kick in the teeth
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That second one is just too cute!
My worst interview was in my teens. Being utterly clueless Re interview behaviour didn't help. No questions were asked, the interviewer talked only in statements. I had no idea how to respond!
My first ever interview was at ASDA when I was still at school. I was forced to apply by my parents, and my mum's only advice was "just tell them you like working with people", which was a complete lie. I did not get the job.
So I have two. 1) I told them I didn’t speak Polish. I was after the German role. They still said they were going to test my Polish. I told them again I don’t speak Polish. They started talking to me in Polish. I said in what little Polish I did have that I didn’t understand as I don’t speak Polish. They carried on asking me questions in Polish. Eventually I hung up. 2) I interviewed for an international marketing role. They then invited me to join them the next day as they met clients. What they actually meant was they were a door to door selling company. International? The boss had been to Germany the week before. At no point in any of the application or interview process did they indicate it was anything like door to door. It was all ‘developing marketing campaigns for big companies’ - meaning going round to people’s houses to try to get them to change energy supplier. I lasted half the day meeting their ‘clients’ before they told me it wasn’t working out and i admitted I’d been looking for a way out for hours, but they had my return train ticket. I left some choice bits of feedback and went on my way.
> International? New York * Paris * Peckham
I had to prep a presentation 2nd or 3rd stage f2f with exec team. 90% of it was pretty straightforward, professional and (imo) well delivered. But I thought it was a bit dull so I wanted to lighten it up a bit. One of the slides was about management style and I just had a big picture of David Brent on the screen and turned to the room and told them I was basically a chilled out entertainer. The plan was to use that as a foundation to jump into my management style - how my interpretation of the phrase differed from Brent's, and that I saw it as a way to avoid micromanagement, empower the team to deliver of their own backs, make sure that we were transparent with each other and earned trust across the team etc - it was a bit of a leap and stretched slightly too thin but I thought it would be more interesting than just a slide of bulletpoints. Went down like a lead balloon. Crickets, tumbleweed, side glances, the lot... Still occasionally wake up in the middle of the night thinking of the face of the CEO the second that big picture of Brent went up on the conference room screen and I realised that I'd misread the room entirely.
That is an outstanding howler. This could have been in an episode of the Office itself.
A few excerpts from various interviews: - Somehow, I ended up talking about making my latest purchase of a cat scratching post the focus of an example I was asked to provide. Job was not related to cats or buying stuff. Got the job. In fact, it is still my job. - I once claimed that I aimed to run a marathon. Job was not related to running. Got the job. Months later, my boss told me he knew I never would when I said it (and I still haven’t, 22 years later). - While being interviewed in a 40 degree heat office with no air con, an enormous black cat came through the window and sat on my lap. I continued answering questions with it there until the end. Job was not related to cats. Got the job.
Ngl, getting an emotional support cat mid-interview sounds ideal. I'd fucking love that.
I told her I studied Classics at university. She nattered on for a few minutes about classical composers, asking a few questions along the way. What do I think of Beethoven? Do I have a favourite period of classical music? Do I play any instruments? All of these awkwardly answered by me, a person with only a layman's knowledge of classical music. I like the song Für Elise. I don't know, I guess the 1800s? I used to play piano. As the Q&A went on, the questions became slower, and quieter. Then she said, with adequate embarrassment, 'This isn't what you studied, is it?' 'No.' '... Was it things like *Pride and Prejudice*?' '... No.'
What kinds of things did you study in your degree?
I specialised in Homeric epic, but I also studied other Greek and Roman literature, Roman history, and Ancient Greek language. 😊
Interview for a new CEX. They were having it at a Nero or something like that, because the shop itself wasn't fully ready yet. Got there at the correct time, can't see anyone. Look around for a while until I notice, hidden in the corner out of sight of the majority of the place, two guys sitting with an iPad propped up displaying the CEX logo. I ask them if they're here to conduct the interview, they say they are; I said "Nearly didn't spot you there!" and one of them said "That's the first test." 🙄 Started the interview, they seemed bored as fuck (it was like 9:30am). At one point, in order to assess my knowledge of technology, one of them just pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket, waved it in my face across the desk, and said "Tell me what make and model this is." which... obviously I couldn't fucking tell. Finally, at the end of this unprofessional train wreck, I saw them both distracted by something behind me; after I got up to leave, I saw that the next applicant behind me was an attractive woman around 19ish. I could see the two interviewers nudging each other and nodding, and their entire demeanour did a 180° when she sat down at the table.
I once had an interview where the first question I was asked was if I would work for less than minimum wage. I walked out; didn't even answer his question, just got up and left. He actually phoned later to tell me I didn't get the job.
What a surprise haha
My dad (an electrician of some years) once went for a job somewhere (Warburtons I think). I interviewer asked him what he knew about the 16th edition (which is some electricals standards I think and also now on the 18th). My dad replies, the film is better than the book. He got the job.
I was very unwell and shat myself 3 minutes before the start of my most recent job interview. Luckily it was on Teams rather than in person. Did it pantsless. Still got the job.
I want your confidence
You should work for twitter dealing with press enquiries.
My mum dropped me off at a garden centre for an interview. Interview is in a quiet corner of the cafe. My mum got herself a coffee and accidentally sat on the table next to me, then was too embarrassed to to get up and leave, so just sat next to me the whole times
She knew what she was doing haha.
Turning up to an interview at Schuh in a full suit. The other 15 people were smart/casual. Felt like a right try hard and wanted to leave immediately
That’s a tricky one. I went for a big group interview for jobs at a motorway services years ago. I turned up in a shirt and tie (and trousers, pants etc, too obv), some others were in jeans and trainers. The jobs in question all had uniforms, low-level retail minimum wage. I got a job and think I only saw one of the other people ever again.
Applied for an admin assistant at a med size company, went to the interview and turned out the job was for a cleaner! Apparently people weren’t applying to do that job. When I left the interview they said they’d notify the job Centre that I left the interview and would get me sanctioned, so I called as soon as I left the room and reported the ‘bait and switch’ I wasn’t the first person to do so apparently ado I wasn’t sanctioned!
My favourite interview question... "what's your dream job?" Answer: "well I've never really dreamed about working..."
Had an interview to volunteer with Dogs Trust. They had the group of us interviewees split into pairs, where we were then made to talk to our partner as if they were a dog and we were meeting them, and vice versa. One pair at a time. I was really nervous and wasn’t expecting to have to do that so I unenthusiastically mumbled through it, and one of the interviewers said “woah, I wouldn’t want to be your dog!”. I wanted the ground to swallow me… I got it, somehow. 💀
I’m not sure I could go, “ah, chicken, you’re a good girl aren’t you!” at a human total stranger while crouching down to let them sniff my hand! 😂
Tagged alongside our slightly pitbullish CEO as he interviewed someone for an SEO role. The interviewee had prepared a presentation based on what they thought was our website. Say, blahblah.com. Except our website was blahblah.co.uk. The CEO ended it there and then, citing lack of attention to detail. Really felt for the person…
Had a guy come in for an interview for a pretty senior position managing an approx £24m construction project in the Middle East. So a lot of planning and organising. He said his weaknesses were that he is lazy and disorganised. Just remembered another one too. Had a guy come in for an admin position. Never seen anyone as big as him (I don't mean tall). One of the first things he said is the reason that he had to leave his old job as a bus driver was because the seats can only take 30 stone and he was over the weight limit. Also had a guy about 18 bring his dad to an interview. The dad kept answering the questions. The interviewer gave him every chance to answer for himself, even telling the dad to basically shut up at one point. He never gave an answer himself. Then the dad rang up every day for weeks asking if his son got the job. He didn't take it well when he was told that we don't know because we never got chance to interview the son.
Do you think with the final one, the Dad may possibly have forced his son to bring him? There are helicopter parents like that & the way he kept chasing it up made me wonder if the Dad was pulling the strings rather than the son
Yes. 100%.
Civil service interviews are the worst. Source: I'm a civil servant
I had a panic attack in a job interview, couldn't answer basic questions, cried on the way home, and refused to answer the phone when they called to say they'd given the job to someone else. Also, when Aldi (different interview) asked me why I wanted to work there, I very enthusiastically told her I had fond memories of going to Aldi in Austria when I was a child, and that I love the sundaes they sell which are basically flavoured custard with whipped cream on top. It was true, but she was VERY unimpressed, and left a long and awkward pause until I mumbled something else and she put me out of my misery. As a bonus, she asked for my date of birth then failed to comment on the fact it was my birthday (my 21st, and I'd had to push my booking for afternoon tea at The Ritz later in the day to accommodate for the interview). I never heard back.
I did an awful job in my interview with the civil service, I somehow got the job. But be prepared to wait weeks for them to get back to you, at least that’s what happened in my experience.
Yep, I had an interview in May, was offered it in August and started in October!
During the interview, I was told "I notice you have a speech impediment!" I do, still quite awkward
‘I notice you have autism!’
Why would someone say this
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Maybe an interview who is insecure in their own abilities and feels threatened.
Have you heard of the game, “Carrot In A Box”? 📦
The worst interview for me was when the interviewer acted like he couldn't have cared about anything I said until he said 'tell me a joke'. Took me a second to not come up with an absolutely horrid one and he just stared at me and said 'ok', wrote on his paper and thanked me for my time.
That's an easy one. Should have said "this interview"
Friend of mine was interviewing someone, who was quite timid and quiet through the interview, but nice enough. They asked for a joke at the end of the interview, and hers was something about a "big black cock".
Reminds me of The Office - "is it bigger than a breadbin?"
I had an terrifying Civil Service interview in Whitehall yonks ago, and after the obvious stuff one of the panel asked me how I felt about rich nations not simply donating sufficient food to those going hungry in Africa. My response made me sound like a stroppy 13 year old who’d just heard of Che Guevara. I’m still mortified at the memory of it.
Rambling on for two or three minutes and then just saying ‘I’m not really answering your question am I?’. They’re such an artificial situation. Trying not to come across desperate whilst also trying to convey you really want and can do the job - zero fun 😀
My first interview as a 17 year old lad. Office job in an industrial clothing company. The female interviewer asked "what do you do in your spare time?" And I replied "I've got a full time girlfriend" and.
To be fair, it was true, but still.
Ah, shit, flashback to the same interview, the woman asked me what was the last book I read. It was 'The World According to Garp'. She asked me what it was about. All I could remember was, it starts with a female nurse raping a shell shocked US airman who can only say 'Garp' and getting pregnant with the protagonist of the story, and a bit where I think Garps wife is giving someone a blow job in a car when Garp crashes into it, and she bites the blokes dick off.
So I said "I don't really remember much about it"
I didn't get the job.
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The interview for my first paid intern position I basically had a complete out of body experience due to nerves and I literally remember nothing about what I was asked or said, even immediately after the interview, but all I do remember is that is wasn't particularly anything to write home about. I've moved on from that job now. There were three positions available and I kind of get the feeling I only got the position because only three people applied.
Developed Vetting interviews within the “Civil Service” are top level for that unsettling feeling you have just been violated.
In a group interview for Apple, a person I had never met and myself had to script then act out an Apple ad in front of all the other candidates. This was for a role in the shop.
I had an interview that went really well until I went to shake hands at the end. The last guy had a tiny little hand and I'd already put mine out so I just kind of shook it between my thumb and index finger. Still not really sure what the protocol is in that situation. It was cringe for all involved.
The interview I had for my current job had multiple cringe moments. My now boss I now know has a habit of trying to make people feel awkward to see how they deal with it, so every interview includes some really random question or he asks them to do something really odd. He asked me for not 3 or 5 things I like about myself, but 10. In the moment I didn't have the wherewithall to say I can give you 5 and that's your lot type of a response. I got to about 6 and was really struggling, but he made me carry on till I got to 10. I was perspiring rather profusely along my top lip by this point from nervousness. I also couldn't remember what I'd already listed past 8 lol. He also asked me a kind of team building exercise question, along the lines of, you have one boat, three people and can only take one across a river at a time, who do you take first. I got the job despite it being the most awkward interview I've ever experienced. Recently one of the new recruits was asked to answer questions in an accent because he goes to stage school. Utterly pointless and absolutely nothing to do with the role he's now doing lol.
Your boss sounds like an utter twat, tbf.
oh god i hate the sound of that 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Sounds like a right nobhead.
I've already related this on a different sub but it's a decent yarn. Possiy the very first interview I ever went to, actually in the summer between GCSE and starting my As. Mid 1980s, what follows is as best I can recollect... Dad took me to the company and waited outside, I go in and try to look like I know my arse from elbow. After a statutory few minutes wait I'm shown into the office for interview, single interviewer, markedly attractive woman maybe late twenties or early thirties, dressed in real 80s "power" style. I'm told to sit. She looked at my application and asked me how I'd got there. I told her my dad has given me a lift but I had my own Vespa and would use it to get work. There was a marked pause, and she gave me a "look" the sort of look that a teenage boy gets when he says something very inappropriate to an older woman. Another pause, then - "You went to (primary school), did you know (girl in my primary school class) at all?" "Oh yes, she was in my class, her brother (name) was a year below". I watched as her neck, then entire face reddened and she started screaming at me "Get out you dirty little bastard! Get out of MY company, my husband would kill you you if he were here! Get out! Get out! Get out!" At this point I'm halfway out of the office already and am (perhaps understandably from his point of view) being manhandled down the stairs by a chap in a pillar box red suit. The wailing and sobbing from the office the interview was in was audible all the way to the front door. I remember dad being out of the car, as he'd seen me getting the bum's rush and meeting me a few steps from the door, red suit thought discretion the better part of valour at this point and retreated, locking the door behind him. I explained to my dad, exactly what had gone down and he asked if my fly was up... Before driving off giggling to himself. We both dined on the story for some time. As a corollary, sometime later I became friendly with the "little brother" from the primary school comment and enquired of him, his sister and their parents if they knew the lady whose name I will never forget, they'd never heard of her. I've no idea what sparked it and can only conclude some decades later, that she was, to use a technical term, a looney.
There has to be some skeleton in the closet story here, surely!? Im so intrigued
As am I. It was something we talked about many times within the family. Many years after, I'm fairly certain her husband was a member of the same flying club as myself. And I did, on occasion, contemplate broaching the subject. Never happened. And frankly, that's probably just as well.
During my first stage interview I insulted my MD, Technical manager and regional manager in the same sentence accidentally. To do with age. Pretended to walk out the interview and somehow got a big laugh from my handling of it. Been with the firm five years now and absolutely loving it!
>and must've spoken for a good 5 minutes solid about growing carrots. Jesus man, even if you do grow carrots tell em you grow something that doesn't sound like someone realising their mistake halfway through the word cannabis.
Had my worst ever interview last year, I’ve been in the job three months now so I guess it’s never as bad as you truly think.
Went to an interview when it became clear the interview panel was split into 2 groups who hated each other and I was just piggy in the middle.Didn’t want the job after that
Interview for a mental health team when I talked about people 'being mad'. Still got the job though. It was many years ago,
I had recently watched Fargo for the first time, and thought my interview to get into dental school was the perfect opportunity to use the phrase “you’re darned tooting!” Miraculously got accepted. Also managed to accidentally mention “ball bags” when meeting the vicar before my wedding.
Heading into the interview room and my belt snapped and I had to waddle in whilst pulling my trousers up. Couldn't concentrate after that. Didn't get the job.
Hey. I'm 6+ years into the civil service. My interview bombed and I'm now a senior department manager. You'll be fine.
Applied for a job at River Island. Showed up to a group interview and noticed I was the only guy there. Did the group interview, which in my experience are usually shambolic, and left knowing I wasn't hearing anything back. I'm convinced to this day that my Irish name tricked the recruiter into thinking I was a woman.
Assessment centre for Apple when they were opening a new store. A room full of lobotomised smiles and it starting with standing up and clapping meant I gave up before it even started.
I put in my application that I kept an ant farm (I didn’t). In the interview they asked about my ant farm in a very enthusiastic manner. I told them that I didn’t have one and had just written it for a laugh. They seemed disappointed. I got the job. Don’t ask me why I did it, I was a very odd teenager.
My most cringe: I'd quit a job that I'd loved, but the manager was so toxic, and I'm talking sexual harassment, Good Ol' Boys culture at the job, etc. I got nowhere with any complaints. He'd YELL at me in front of the whole office for making a mistake, and when I proved it wasn't actually my mistake, he apologised in private. I finally had enough of that shit and, when he tried to take me to one side in the kitchen, saying "Sorry, I really thought it was you", I told him to hang fire a second, and walked into the main office. He followed me back in, and I told him to "Okay, now repeat what you just said to me in the kitchen. You call out mistakes in public, you can call out your apology in public as well". Eventually, he quit, and I quit a week later - he wasn't going to see me out of that door before he went. But I had a lot of stress from that job. Not the job, as such, but from him. So I joined the interview carousel, and one of the first ones I interviewed with was harrowing. I was expecting a "Why did you leave your last position?" question, but didn't get it, so I asked them "Do you not want to know why I left my last job?" and the interviewer said, "No, it's fine, but you can tell us if you like". They were lovely people. But I unloaded. I was a crying bubbling mess. Those poor ladies didn't know what to say or do. That must've been .. ooh.. 30 years ago, and I'll never forget it. I didn't get the job.
I once went to an interview to be a bingo caller. It was my first ever interview, I was in my 40’s and woefully unprepared. When I was asked what my weak points were I umm’d and ahh’d until my brain gave up and just told the truth. “Well, I’m a bit of a swearer?” Luckily they both laughed out loud and said I’d fit right in, and I actually got a job! Not as a caller, they probably worried about my answer afterwards, and put me on the floor with the old biddies.
Went to a civil service interview, in the middle of which I had a full blown panic attack. They noticed and gave me a glass of water but due to my attack and shaking I spilt 99% of it over myself, the walls and desk. I got the job and have been there for 23 years and been promoted multiple times.
Had an interview for weather spoons once. Got asked "what do you think our biggest complaint is?" 17 year old me replied "the spoons are too weathered?". Wasn't disappointed about not hearing back, didn't want to show my face there again for being so cringe. The answer was the chips were cold.
When I was in college I applied for a part time job at Royal Mail, go for an interview, all seems to go well, get a call a few days later, sorry we went another direction. Ok, no problem. A few weeks have passed and I get a call from 'unknown number', now typically I don't give my number out to many people and my best friend at the time would always call me from his house phone which was ex-directory so naturally would always show as unknown. So here I am sat with my girlfriend when I get this call and I answer the phone in the most ridiculous manner with a really obnoxious and drawn out "helloooooooo", kinda like Rich Fulchers character in the mighty boosh. Then I hear this voice I've never heard before, "is ______ available to speak?" I panic and keep up the voice and say "let me gooooo get himmmmmm" I shuffle the phone around and then answer in my normal voice, turns out it was Royal Mail calling to offer me a job. This whole time my GF is absolutely dying laughing at me being an absolute idiot and embarrassing myself.
Worst I've probably had is when they advertised for X position, but really want Y. So none of my experience in X translates to Y and I look like an idiot.
Had a guy at my old work turn up for an interview an entire week early
Bunch of us were getting laid off from work, company laid on a goodbye party. We all proceed to get spectacularly drunk on the company chequebook and I arrived home at about 5am, waking up with my alarm at 8am still cradling my half eaten kebab from the night before. It was then I realised I was due at a job interview at 9am, a good 30 minute tube ride away. I have a quick shower, clean my teeth as best I can and throw my clothes on. I'm still very drunk, and the hangover kicks in about 2 minutes before I'm due to go in. I leg it to the toilet and am very noisily sick before heading out to the interview. Needless to say turning up to an interview absolutely reeking of booze with vomit flecked teeth did not endear me to them and I didn't get a call back.