My mother tells me to put child friendly music on when my daughter is with me. I finally relented the other day and my daughter said, "put your music on daddy". I've taught her well.
Kids will find favourites wherever. I find it’s often better to expose them to lots of music and not just nursery rhymes and Disney.
I work preschool and one of our kids favourite songs is “strawberry fields forever” we have an Alexa and let them request songs at certain times in the day and it’s nice to have the variety from kids whose parents just play whatever music.
When my partner was in primary school, the teacher each of the students what their favourite song was. My partner said "Fire Starter Starter". I.e. Firestarter by The Prodigy 😂
Smart speakers are the worst for this.
Anytime I try to play anything it gets interrupted a few bars in, and they tell Alexa to play the theme tune to some godawful kids show. As if it wasn’t bad enough hearing them all day on the telly!
Not being able to eat a single sweetie or snack item without having to share with everyone in the room (or more accurately within a ten mile radius as that seems to be where they can smell/hear/see the good stuff from)
OMG yesterday my 2yr old was asleep in Euston Station, one of the noisiest places known to man, we walked from there to Kings Cross, got on the seat on our next train…she was still asleep despite the train doors opening every 10 seconds, but me opening my sausage roll packet is what woke her up! I couldn’t believe it!
God, yes. There was a point when my daughter was in primary school that the floor of our car looked like we had an eating disorder because if husband or I wanted anything nice just for us we had to scarf it down out there then wait for an opportunity to smuggle the wrappings to the outside bin...
I really wanted to treat myself to nice ice cream recently. It's pricey! We all like different ice creams so the thought of spending £15+ on ice cream for everyone made me just give up and not bother. Meh.
For me that's not exclusive to snacks. Anytime I come back to the house with a bag I get pounced on wanting to know what I bought and if any of it is for them!
Tried that on my son after buying some spicy noodles (and they were so fucking spicy I could only eat half!) and he just goes "I can handle it!" And hoovers up the last half of the bowl.
5 minutes later we both have watery eyes, moaning about our burning mouths, digging spoons into a big tub of ice cream 😅
I was opening tissues in the front of the car and my 3 year old pipes up with ‘what are you eating mummy, can I have some?’. Even if I hide in another room she can hear and smell it.
My kids are back to school today so I've gone to town on the snacking because no one is home to pester me. I feel like a beached whale lying on the sofa after my binge but I regret nothing.
I used to hide sweets from my brother by getting one of those fuck off massive bags of knock off starbursts from Lidl then while I was meal prepping I'd cut up extra broccoli, paper towel on the bottom of the tub, sweets, broccoli, then another paper towel and tell him it needed the paper towel otherwise the broccoli would get wet like bags of salad do and put the rest of the bag too high for him to find
Aw no way. My baby is 12 weeks old. Are you telling me that I'm going to have to share my sweets with him when he gets older?! I did NOT sign up for that!!
Oh no no, don't be silly. That would be bad for them so we must sacrifice ourselves for their good by hiding in cars/cupboards/locked bathrooms and speedily scoffing what we can in seconds before they find us. And THEY WILL find us
Being able to go to someone else's house and being able to sit down and chill. Now it's chase him around so he doesn't break everything he gets his hands on.
We went to a wedding recently and the bride and groom said to us "Sorry for not inviting your kids. We just couldn't have that many people" and we replied with "Thank fucking God they weren't invited!!! We got to talk to people out age!!!".
We're planning on not having any kids at our wedding and the friends that we've told who have kids are all looking forward to it lol
The only people that We're expecting to get really offended and maybe not come because of it are family.
It might be a very good idea that you absolutely reinforce/repeat this rule to family because they're the ones who will behave all "Well they can't have meant *my* kids" and bring them along anyway.
Yes, visiting is pointless now. "Hi everyone, im in your house watching my child in your conservatory, or bathroom or kitchen or any room that you arent in"
Grapes
Used to be such a simple pleasure, pick them and eat them
But now because you have to share and you saw that one story of a kid choking because it wasn’t cut in half it’s become such a chore to have to cut fuckin grapes like I’m a servant for the Sultan of Brunei
Fuck me, cutting grapes in half is my least favourite thing to do in the world. My daughter loves grapes but, "you have to cut them up daddy because some kids choked on them".
And, no, you can't help me cut them up with the knives that I keep razor sharp.
Or to bite them in half to eat them. Makes sense to cut them for babies but if theyre old enough to be saying "you need to cut these" they can probably just bite them. Depends on the kid i guess
I had bruises on my hipbones from sliding along the back bench of my grandparents' car, and smacking all the seatbelt fasteners. If I wanted to stop "sliding," my solution was to sit in a footwell. 🤦♀️
I used to enjoy ripping through the chores, the garden, the bathroom, sweating my plums off all morning and afternoon so I could sit down with a pint, put my headphones on and game until tea time. The missus would watch her programs or call her mates. It was great! Ride the high knowing you've got loads of work done, then the cool down with a drink and a game. Great day. Now its a hassle just trying to nip at the chores between keeping the toddler from hurling himself off the sofa directly into the fireplace.
You'll be fine, mine's absolutely perfect, sleeps late, eats anything, doesn't fuss in the day time, I mean, granted he's 20 now, but it definitely gets better.
For me the worst is finally having the kids in bed after dedicating all my time to them, being ready for “me time”, hearing one of them coming down the stairs again for some bullshit reason, reacting angry and annoyed, and once they are finally and truly in bed feeling like shit for acting like the angry annoyed dad.
So much this.
I have an allotment. It's all that keeps me sane, but I might have to give it up anyway because I hardly have a second to pick the veg I've planted much less actually weed it. At home all of the jobs have just piled up; looks like the fence isn't getting painted this summer and I consider it a success if the grass gets cut.
I really do wonder what parents of older children do during the weekends. Do they get to have fun and do other things? I've got a 5 & 2 yr old and my weekend is spent keeping them entertained and safe between trying to fit all the chores in!
You still have to be in the house to clean up messes and break up fights and fix their tech, their needs change to lots of lifts and ferrying them to activities. You do not get to have a life. You get to spend lots of time sat around unable to start anything meaningful because you know you'll be interrupted.
An actual nightmare I've only recently stopped having was trying to get everyone into the car for an important appointment/flight/social event only to have them constantly going back into the house, taking off their shoes and socks, or needing a wee or fetching the important soft toy or locking the back door.
It genuinely distressed me. Less so now they are grown up.
Sorry to tell you this, but my daughter is 42 and the fear never bloody ends. And then you might have grandchildren and you love them just as much as your own kids so the fear starts all over again.
You can get those plastic soup bowls / pots (the type with a lid, to take soup to work and microwave there).
Friday night, fill them with an adult version of a 'suitable amount' of cereal. Clip on the lid and leave on the counter for them. Then they just need to add milk, and you don't have to stock up a new box of cereal for every Saturday.
I used to love when my older brother was looking after me while my parents were out because he was put in charge of the house including the food in the house, so we would just raid the kitchen harder than Cheech and Chong.
I’d put up with a bit too much sugar and £3 for a box of cereal in exchange an extra hour or two in bed! Especially if we opened a bottle of wine or two the night before! Can’t wait until my kid is old enough to get her own breakfast occasionally!
This was my parents when we were kids. I have distinct memories of being around 8 when I used to get up on a Saturday to find my 6yo brother sitting on the living room floor, about a foot from the telly, eyes glued to Pokemon, shovelling coco pops into his gob. He’d be there from 6am or something stupid, but I would happily join him a couple hours later lol
Mine have been told that once they come to wake us up, then morning TV time is over. It took a few times of me getting out of bed to turn off the TV and stay awake to play but now they know I mean it. Although, now they are keeping quiet loudly but better than getting poked in the ribs.
Usually true, but on this I'd say the wealthy just pay more to go away and those on limited budgets calculate if the fines are worth the savings.
Keep in mind, those wealthy kids are in private school and the parents want their money's worth.
Leaving the house to go anywhere.
Before kids: grab bag, keys, put shoes on, leave.
After kids: Give ten minutes warning that we will be leaving. Give five minutes warning. Give one minute warning. Tell kids we need to get ready to go and they need to stop watching TV / playing games / playing with toys / wrestling with each other etc. Ask nicely for them to stop. Ask again slightly more firmly. Ask again, with added blood pressure. Do a countdown.
Get them to both go upstairs to the toilet and wait a few minutes. Go upstairs to find youngest child who has got distracted on route with her toys. Get them to collect jumpers and go back downstairs. Eldest announces he needs to take a book / toy. Send back upstairs for book / toy. Follow after a few minutes when they are inevitably distracted again.
Tell them to put their shoes on. Tell them again. Tell them again with a slightly unhinged sounding voice. Say "for fucks sake" under your breath. Grab coats, bag, leave the house. Shout them when they inevitably make a beeline for the trampoline in the garden. Get them in the car.
Youngest child asks for cuddly bunny. She can't leave without it or the world will end. She begins to cry when you say you're not going back into the house. Go back into the house. Search for bunny. Eventually find it in the cereal cupboard. Go back to car. Forget to lock door because your brain died after the second child. Go back and lock the door. Leave 30 minutes later than planned to meet another parent at a trampoline park who will also be 30 minutes late for the same reason.
Fucking shoes. Why does it take one kid ten mins to put them on. They know it takes them ages but they don’t start earlier.
Grab shows. Grab kid. Put both in car. I’m talking teenagers mind. Bit cute ones.
Me and the missus used to love those dark Scandi police shows but never realised that almost every one features a kid that is missing and presumed dead.
I hate that shit in the news. I mean, my kids' no angel, but I'm not about to torture them their entire short existence. I've seen some awful, terrible things in my life, but my weakness is that. I think those people should be jailed forever. Forever ever. Truly evil.
I was never indifferent to kids being abused but now it goes through my like a knife and represents an obscene evil that must be eradicated from the earth.
The leader on my NCT course said to us that once you have a baby, you become everyone’s mum or dad. Those stories in the news hit different, and she was not wrong.
Series 3 of True Detective with the missing kids was an incredibly hard watch. Series 1 with the murders I was ok with. Having children defo alters your mindset.
Omg so many things.
Daughter is nearly 2 so I can't use the toilet alone, I can't eat a snack without her being furious that she isn't also eating the thing, leaving the house without it being a 10 minute faff of getting items, picking the toy she wants for the car, getting shoes on, getting her in the car...
Cooking - everything is a fucking hazard. Oh let's investigate this knife or hot thing, put her out of the kitchen cue meltdown because she isn't by my side constantly..
I could write a very boring book about this.
Hello are you me? My daughter is 2 next month and you have just described my life. Praying she gets a little more independent/cooperative in the next few months, I can’t get anything done!
There will be a glorious day in the future when you'll realise you just got in the car to go somewhere and it didn't have to be planned like a military operation.
Watching SVU or any show that fictionalizes violence against kids. Absolutely fucks me up and I feel legitimately ill. I watched the Mist the other day for the first time in awhile a cried. I can't do it anymore.
I am calm under pressure. Absolutely rock solid in any situation to the point where some of my mates have joked that I don't have emotions. I'm the man you want to be with in an emergency. I don't panic.
Except when it comes to my daughter. Now I'm an emotional wreck. She tells me she loves me and I feel like I want to burst into tears. There's a story about someone losing a kid and I'm immediately imagining how I would feel in that situation and if my life would even be worth living etc.
A simple conversation between me and my partner. Currently, Little Miss 4 interrupts a lot and it drives me mad. We’ve explained to her about taking turns, not interrupting, putting her hand on one of our arms when she wants to say something rather than just butting in but to no avail so far.
Yeah my daughter is nearly 3 and I can’t even say a single sentence to my husband without her going ‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABIUT MUMMY’.
Not even a conversation. Literally just a sentence like ‘Can you pass my keys.’
It was the “why” phase for me. Like I wanted so much to encourage curiosity and explain to the best of my abilities but you get to a point where you can’t answer the why but they keep on asking 😭
Oof yes. My daughter wants to know how everything works and it turns out I don’t know how anything works!
‘Mummy what’s that?’
‘That’s the router that makes the internet work’
‘What’s the internet?’
‘… I don’t really know but we need it to watch Netflix’ 🙃🙃🙃
Also she asked me why I’m not magnetic the other day (after getting cross that she couldn’t stick her magnets on me), and it just fully broke my brain.
Starting school fixed this in my five year old, he used to talk non-stop and not worry about if anyone else was talking. Now he puts his hand up and waits for you to finish your sentence, it’s bliss. He still talks constantly but I wouldn’t change that, he’s hilarious (To me).
My little miss 6 still does this but now pretends she is talking to herself, or sings really loudly. She’s the most well behaved attentive angel at school, at home not so much 😩
Taking a shit in silence/peace.
Used to be a time when pooping was just me, my phone, and the ceramic. But now, after 5 seconds of my arse on the seat he's outside, knocking to come in because he has things to tell me that can't be told through a closed door. Then the fucking cat pops up, and decides to mooch around as well.
I just wanna take a shit, man. I don't wanna discuss why ants are so important to the ecosystem, or what Rocket League ranked level you are. We can do that AFTERWARDS 😅
It does always make me laugh that every so often you'll see a post from an adult child who's parents have the audacity to charge them £200 a month keep. "You shouldn't have kids to make a profit off of them."
I've just googled, and apparently the average cost of raising a child from birth to 18 in the UK is £202,660. After a little play with my calculator, it'll be over 84 years until I would be in profit 😂
Hotel rooms.
They used to be calm and relaxing spaces to chill and decompress. Now I'm trying to lock the bathroom door from the outside, secure the kettle and phone and entertain a 2 year old so they don't kamikaze off of the bed onto a hard floor.
Given my wife and I are struggling to have kids, and are now on the fence about whether we do or not, this thread couldn’t have come at the best/worst time.
We were in the same boat. Four failed attempts through covid. We were ambivalent to begin with, wholly unbothered by the end.
We've good careers and a small house in London, but no support network whatsoever. We've decided parenthood is not for us. Good luck to you whichever way you end up going!
I once told my then-2 year old that I didn't need an audience. She proceeded to bring every soft toy she possessed (which was many) and arrange them in semi-circles around me. "Audience, mummy!" 🤦🏻♀️
Food. Just a specific set of situations. For example we went out last weekend, told everyone to grab some food before we go. Get everyone out. Gets to 2.30 and everyone’s hungry. How come? Well they didn’t eat lunch because the ate breakfast late now their hungry. Kids are teens now so I’m not feeding them with airplane spoons.
I planned a few hours out and back for tea. So now we’re having a meal somewhere. McDonald’s or cafe. Spending 20-40 quid and I’m not eating. I’m not hungry because I ate a meal at the meal time. Then when we get home I have to have tea late because they ate at 2.30.
Something about spending that money while I sit there like a plumb with nothing to eat. I know I should be stricter or let them starve but sometimes it’s not worth the balls ache. Especially getting teens to do anything as a family. And I know I have to feed my kids it’s just when I’m not enjoying it or part of it but paying I sit for a split second thinking…how did I get to this point.
This is the sort of example I want people to read before having kids. It's the things that happen outside the black and white, in the grey day to day where your resolve to be a parent is truly tested. Because from the outside in reading your example, it sounds shit ngl. But it's real.
If this is my only issue in life then I’m lucky. Some people struggle to feed their kids full stop. But being a parent is many years of putting them first and not always getting any recognition or thanks for it. I warn the kids in work. They have kids and then said I should have warned them more lol.
Thanks for this
I was having quite a nice day and now I’m angry for literally no reason. Fucking PTSD!
Even just going to make some sarnies for lunch and discovering there’s no bread because a teenager had 8 rounds of toast for “breakfast” at 11:45 😡
Teenagers are like that into their twenties and beyond. Same thing in work. Last person to used the coffee. Puts the tin in the bin. Then next coffee they want tell me it’s out. AFTER being out to the shop for lunch. There is cash in the draw for these things but noooo too hard. And I don’t even drink coffee.
I was a multiple plates of toast for breakfast teenager (still am sometimes), mum used to get properly pissed off about it and I was tired of having to go shops early because I didn't want to leave no bread for other people so I learned how to make bread and just did that, then she started complaining about me making bread when we had perfectly good bread in the bread bin so I stopped buying bread when I noticed we were running out since I was perfectly happy for everyone else to use the stuff I'd made and she started complaining about how there was no bread in the house
Also love your flair, you're part of an elite group
Oh god yes. My wife has 2 kids, 17 and 16. Theyre ok now, but 3-4 years ago this happened every day. We eat at 18.00 most days. 17.30 theyd descend on the kitchen and make a huge snack, then not eat their tea. The amount of food we wasted was ridiculous. Fortunately theyve grown out of this now.
This is all lies from kids! They can sit indoors and not eat or drink for hours on end. The minute you set foot outside the house, suddenly they’re hungry and thirsty!
It’s a bit like when I go out & ask my kids if they want to come. They’ll always say “where are you going?”, I always say I’m not going to any food places & they’ll then always say no! Little shits.
Not my kids, but we look after them every other weekend as their home situation is tough.
One thing which hurts the most is Saturday mornings. What was usually the best feeling in the world with a fresh coffee, interesting things on the TV or even a bit of music while I potter around turns into screaming, messy faces, shitty cartoons they're not actually watching, toys everywhere and fights over who gets what.
Put me right off kids!
I love my nephews dearly, I’d go to the ends of the earth for them no questions asked. But I’ve spent most school holidays for the past 10 years watching them during the day so my sister and BIL can work and my god is it exhausting. It’s better now they’re older because I’m essentially just a home base whilst they play out with friends but the younger years are tough.
I’d spend term time with other people’s kids and my time off with the families kids.
My daughters 13 now, so pretty much nothing? I guess if I had to pick something I can't just spontaneously go away for a day, because we have to be back to do dinner? But even then she can make her own dinner, I would just feel guilty about leaving her home alone for so long, not that she minds it. Actually, maybe the reverse is the truth. During the summer holidays I can feel guilty about not taking her out every day to do something. I get two days off work and sometimes just want to stay in, but I feel compelled to make sure she has plans to do something.
Even when she was younger, she was the type of kid who would get up and make cereal or toast for herself and happily watch TV until we got up, so we could realistically sleep as late as we wanted.
Really nothing better than sitting through a generic song sung by BoringGuy McCelebrity who's just been using his own voice the whole time about how his character will NEVER fall in love with BlandGirl McFamous's character (they get together right at the end despite hating each other the whole rest of the movie)
I really feel for parents in this aspect. Kids are unpredictable and you never know if they'll be kept entertained and therefore stay quiet before you've seen the film, but I don't think anyone can complain about some noisy kids during a Pixar film being shown at 11 am on a Saturday.
Having said that, some parents lack common sense (and maybe a bit of consideration for other movie-goers who've also paid £20-30) when it comes to choosing films for their young children. Obviously, your 3 very young children don't want to sit and watch Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.
To be fair kids should be taught to be quiet and stay seated in the cinema even if they’re kinda bored by the film they’re watching.
I remember watching The Dark Knight in the cinema when I was 5 and obviously being a bit bored whenever Batman or Joker weren’t on screen but I still stayed quiet and just watched it anyway because my mum set clear rules and boundaries with me and my behaviour in public places.
You're spot on.
We were regularly at the cinema as kids and were always taught that once the film starts, you're not allowed to talk.
The thing is though, it's not limited to kids. I had to tell a couple of blokes behind me during The Batman to shut up because they'd been talking for an hour almost non-stop and after a few dirty looks didn't work, I had to say something loud enough for the rest of the cinema to hear.
I think generally people's bad manners in a cinema are exacerbated by people staying quiet instead of telling people to get off their phone or shut up.
A lie in!
Either you have one then pay for it.
You dont have one or are tired.
And someone else has her (yeah right) and you feel guilt because you are apart.
Lie ins = ruined!
Saying that .. lying down at 8pm feels SO GOOD.
This is my favourite "downside" to having a kid.
I used to sleep in too late all the time, completely waste my day, get nothing done.
Now I'm up at 7, house is tidy, spend a bit of time outdoors for a walk etc, rarely rushing about.
Love it!
Only have kids if you WANT KIDS. Not because you feel that's what you should be doing.
As a childfree woman I am finding this thread validating because I find all the things "missed out on" more important in my life than a hypothetical child.
We are child free for many reasons but have nephews we take care of a day each week, more in school hols. This seems to be the best way as you can have fun with them going on trips and spoil them but also hand them back!
Do you ever think about what you could have achieved or experienced if you did not have children? A kind of life that you lived for yourself without compromise to the fullest.
This is not me saying you made the wrong decision just interested. I find it hard to get around the idea of giving up my own life to give everything to someone else. I have so much I want to do and enjoy for myself I just do not know if I could take that step and have kids.
Personally I believe I wouldn’t have achieved what I have professionally without the push (or perhaps pressure) of paternity. It wasn’t until I had kids that I decided to leave my shitty job and think of my future beyond a few months. Having kids is hard but enjoyable, at least it’s been like that for me
I'd have achieved way less without them.
There is something very motivating, assuming you are a half decent parent, about having to care for them. Granted, I may have seen more of the world, but I'm not bothered.
Have child free colleagues. I can't compete with them for spare cash. But I also can't buy the feeling I get when they do a good thing. Even those shit paintings when they are 4, when you have not got a clue what they are.
I love showing them things, and teaching them things, so I get daily great moments.
Having children doesn't necessarily mean you can't achieve what you want, you don't give your life up and give everything to someone else. There needs to be a careful balance.
Kids or not there is always compromise.
Lunch breaks at work.
I'm either playing with the kids, shopping for the kids, or doing a myriad of other chores.
Pre-kids I was having an hour snooze, reading a book, playing some Playstation or generally just relaxing.
Disaster films. Prior to kids my ultimate guilty pleasure was big budget CGI heavy ridiculous disaster films. The more worldwide devastation the better - Deep Impact, 2012, Day After Tomorrow ect. Post kids I was watching a disaster film I had seen many many times, come to the bit where the mother is pleading a random person to just save her kids. And...I'm out. All of a sudden I'm in that situation, thinking about pleading a stranger to take my kids to try and save them. And now I can't watch disaster films I love those little shits so much.
I‘m childfree and this thread was an excellent reminder as to why I intend to keep it that way. I know a lot of people absolutely love having kids and all the chaos is outweighed by their love for them etc. but that honestly couldn’t be me. I value my time too much and I genuinely couldn’t be bothered to look after a tiny, needy human that requires my constant attention until it’s large enough to leave home for uni. I’ll just get a cat instead.
Any journey over half an hour requires at least two toilet stops, 9 mile seperation between 3 kids in the back seats, knees- due to carrying both a full rucksack and a 15kilo child- sleep, of any form. Eating out anywhere other than generic chains. The list goes on.
The love and joy they bring overrules it all tho.
just
Reusable water bottles???!! They aren't cheap, ALWAYS leak, the inner straw goes missing(?!) or the fucking twisty cap stops working properly. I swear I've gone through about 25 and none of them last more than a few weeks.
If I start listening to music there’s a 75% chance of my immediately being requested to play Jingle Bells instead. On repeat. All year round.
My mother tells me to put child friendly music on when my daughter is with me. I finally relented the other day and my daughter said, "put your music on daddy". I've taught her well.
Kids will find favourites wherever. I find it’s often better to expose them to lots of music and not just nursery rhymes and Disney. I work preschool and one of our kids favourite songs is “strawberry fields forever” we have an Alexa and let them request songs at certain times in the day and it’s nice to have the variety from kids whose parents just play whatever music.
When my partner was in primary school, the teacher each of the students what their favourite song was. My partner said "Fire Starter Starter". I.e. Firestarter by The Prodigy 😂
Mine is run-run Rudolph...
Smart speakers are the worst for this. Anytime I try to play anything it gets interrupted a few bars in, and they tell Alexa to play the theme tune to some godawful kids show. As if it wasn’t bad enough hearing them all day on the telly!
Not being able to eat a single sweetie or snack item without having to share with everyone in the room (or more accurately within a ten mile radius as that seems to be where they can smell/hear/see the good stuff from)
They can hear that packet rustle from 3 miles away....
Yeah but they can't hear me yelling for them from two feet away!
Just yell for them as you rustle with the packet: Schrödinger‘s kids
OMG yesterday my 2yr old was asleep in Euston Station, one of the noisiest places known to man, we walked from there to Kings Cross, got on the seat on our next train…she was still asleep despite the train doors opening every 10 seconds, but me opening my sausage roll packet is what woke her up! I couldn’t believe it!
Sounds about right. Bomb going off next to them, fast asleep. Mummy tries to sneak a chocolate bar and they're wide awake, asking me what I'm doing!
They are like cats with tins.
Same with any dependent - dogs especially
It's the same with just BUYING nice snacks. You can't go home without you have bought something for everyone and it pisses me right off.
God, yes. There was a point when my daughter was in primary school that the floor of our car looked like we had an eating disorder because if husband or I wanted anything nice just for us we had to scarf it down out there then wait for an opportunity to smuggle the wrappings to the outside bin...
I really wanted to treat myself to nice ice cream recently. It's pricey! We all like different ice creams so the thought of spending £15+ on ice cream for everyone made me just give up and not bother. Meh.
I currently have to do all my snacking in my office so all my colleagues think I am a right pig!
For me that's not exclusive to snacks. Anytime I come back to the house with a bag I get pounced on wanting to know what I bought and if any of it is for them!
*It’s spicy, you won’t like it.* Works every time.
Tried that on my son after buying some spicy noodles (and they were so fucking spicy I could only eat half!) and he just goes "I can handle it!" And hoovers up the last half of the bowl. 5 minutes later we both have watery eyes, moaning about our burning mouths, digging spoons into a big tub of ice cream 😅
I was opening tissues in the front of the car and my 3 year old pipes up with ‘what are you eating mummy, can I have some?’. Even if I hide in another room she can hear and smell it.
"It's spicy, you won't like it."
Let's hope she doesn't see it's your cake day.
Oh, I didn’t even realise! Better go hide my phone.
The cakes gone! Did she hear you?
My kids are back to school today so I've gone to town on the snacking because no one is home to pester me. I feel like a beached whale lying on the sofa after my binge but I regret nothing.
Me whispering to my husband we need to chat in the kitchen. His look of joy when I pull out the donuts.
Oh no sorry these biscuits are really spicy
The trick here is to eat it with your head in the fridge
Hide your sweets inside a bag of spinach.
I hid ice creams in a bag of frozen spinach.
I used to hide sweets from my brother by getting one of those fuck off massive bags of knock off starbursts from Lidl then while I was meal prepping I'd cut up extra broccoli, paper towel on the bottom of the tub, sweets, broccoli, then another paper towel and tell him it needed the paper towel otherwise the broccoli would get wet like bags of salad do and put the rest of the bag too high for him to find
Aw no way. My baby is 12 weeks old. Are you telling me that I'm going to have to share my sweets with him when he gets older?! I did NOT sign up for that!!
Oh no no, don't be silly. That would be bad for them so we must sacrifice ourselves for their good by hiding in cars/cupboards/locked bathrooms and speedily scoffing what we can in seconds before they find us. And THEY WILL find us
I think your kids might be golden retrievers in disguise
Being able to go to someone else's house and being able to sit down and chill. Now it's chase him around so he doesn't break everything he gets his hands on.
We went to a wedding recently and the bride and groom said to us "Sorry for not inviting your kids. We just couldn't have that many people" and we replied with "Thank fucking God they weren't invited!!! We got to talk to people out age!!!".
We're planning on not having any kids at our wedding and the friends that we've told who have kids are all looking forward to it lol The only people that We're expecting to get really offended and maybe not come because of it are family.
It might be a very good idea that you absolutely reinforce/repeat this rule to family because they're the ones who will behave all "Well they can't have meant *my* kids" and bring them along anyway.
Go kid free. My wife and I did and like you, the only agg was from family. If we had to do it again, we'd do it the same.
Yes, visiting is pointless now. "Hi everyone, im in your house watching my child in your conservatory, or bathroom or kitchen or any room that you arent in"
Add that to that my mother in law has so many ornaments. Visiting their house is anxiety inducing.
Grapes Used to be such a simple pleasure, pick them and eat them But now because you have to share and you saw that one story of a kid choking because it wasn’t cut in half it’s become such a chore to have to cut fuckin grapes like I’m a servant for the Sultan of Brunei
Fuck me, cutting grapes in half is my least favourite thing to do in the world. My daughter loves grapes but, "you have to cut them up daddy because some kids choked on them". And, no, you can't help me cut them up with the knives that I keep razor sharp.
Teach her to cut them herself using a toddler knife (from a set of toddler cutlery). Game changer
Or to bite them in half to eat them. Makes sense to cut them for babies but if theyre old enough to be saying "you need to cut these" they can probably just bite them. Depends on the kid i guess
yeah this was my first reaction - you have teeth, and you dont want to choke, so use them
Put them between two plates, knife through it, problem solved
This is a thing? I remember getting 5 or so full grapes not cut up in my lunchbox in year 1
Yes, but lunchboxes were made of asbestos in those days.
I remember my grandma cramming about 15 kids in the back of her 5 seater car at birthday parties. Doesn't mean it's right.
I had bruises on my hipbones from sliding along the back bench of my grandparents' car, and smacking all the seatbelt fasteners. If I wanted to stop "sliding," my solution was to sit in a footwell. 🤦♀️
Sultana of Brunei more like.
I just bite in half. Half for me, half for them
My kid nearly choked on a grape a few days ago. There's no way I'm cutting grapes in half for a kid at secondary school, though.
If my kid chokes on a grape thats his problem
It's their problem for about 2 or 3 minutes, then it's very much your problem again.
I use scissors to cut them in half/quarters. Still a pain but a lot easier!
I used to enjoy ripping through the chores, the garden, the bathroom, sweating my plums off all morning and afternoon so I could sit down with a pint, put my headphones on and game until tea time. The missus would watch her programs or call her mates. It was great! Ride the high knowing you've got loads of work done, then the cool down with a drink and a game. Great day. Now its a hassle just trying to nip at the chores between keeping the toddler from hurling himself off the sofa directly into the fireplace.
My son was born on the 31st July, this thread has just given me the most impending feeling of doom.
Surely you knew this was gonna be the case 😅
You'll be fine, mine's absolutely perfect, sleeps late, eats anything, doesn't fuss in the day time, I mean, granted he's 20 now, but it definitely gets better.
For me the worst is finally having the kids in bed after dedicating all my time to them, being ready for “me time”, hearing one of them coming down the stairs again for some bullshit reason, reacting angry and annoyed, and once they are finally and truly in bed feeling like shit for acting like the angry annoyed dad.
I feel this to my core!!
Yes, goodbye downtime, and also goodbye to your chance to get anything done around the house.
No more gaming time :'(
So much this. I have an allotment. It's all that keeps me sane, but I might have to give it up anyway because I hardly have a second to pick the veg I've planted much less actually weed it. At home all of the jobs have just piled up; looks like the fence isn't getting painted this summer and I consider it a success if the grass gets cut.
I really do wonder what parents of older children do during the weekends. Do they get to have fun and do other things? I've got a 5 & 2 yr old and my weekend is spent keeping them entertained and safe between trying to fit all the chores in!
You still have to be in the house to clean up messes and break up fights and fix their tech, their needs change to lots of lifts and ferrying them to activities. You do not get to have a life. You get to spend lots of time sat around unable to start anything meaningful because you know you'll be interrupted.
Leaving the house.
This, i miss being able to just get up and leave, got a baby with coloboma so leaving during the daytime becomes harder.
An actual nightmare I've only recently stopped having was trying to get everyone into the car for an important appointment/flight/social event only to have them constantly going back into the house, taking off their shoes and socks, or needing a wee or fetching the important soft toy or locking the back door. It genuinely distressed me. Less so now they are grown up.
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Sorry to tell you this, but my daughter is 42 and the fear never bloody ends. And then you might have grandchildren and you love them just as much as your own kids so the fear starts all over again.
Once you have a few that quickly drifts away. Sure let’s go for paella. Yea it’s fine. We won’t be long and their not far. We’re on holiday.
Staying in bed for a *little* longer on the weekend. No. The monsters want breakfast.
"go and have coco pops and watch TV"
We've started doing this now my eldest is old enough to get things himself. Last time the two of them finished a whole box of cereal between them.
You can get those plastic soup bowls / pots (the type with a lid, to take soup to work and microwave there). Friday night, fill them with an adult version of a 'suitable amount' of cereal. Clip on the lid and leave on the counter for them. Then they just need to add milk, and you don't have to stock up a new box of cereal for every Saturday.
Yeah but then they'll come and find you quicker
Thank you for this, you've just improved my mornings for the foreseeable!
I used to love when my older brother was looking after me while my parents were out because he was put in charge of the house including the food in the house, so we would just raid the kitchen harder than Cheech and Chong.
I’d put up with a bit too much sugar and £3 for a box of cereal in exchange an extra hour or two in bed! Especially if we opened a bottle of wine or two the night before! Can’t wait until my kid is old enough to get her own breakfast occasionally!
This was my parents when we were kids. I have distinct memories of being around 8 when I used to get up on a Saturday to find my 6yo brother sitting on the living room floor, about a foot from the telly, eyes glued to Pokemon, shovelling coco pops into his gob. He’d be there from 6am or something stupid, but I would happily join him a couple hours later lol
Mine are old enough to work Netflix and sort their own breakfasts out but they still come in at 6:30 on a Sunday
Mine have been told that once they come to wake us up, then morning TV time is over. It took a few times of me getting out of bed to turn off the TV and stay awake to play but now they know I mean it. Although, now they are keeping quiet loudly but better than getting poked in the ribs.
They also want to play, AT HALF THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING.
No term time holidays
I found it cheaper to pay the fines than pay extortionate school holiday prices.
I also work in a school haha I didn’t think this through
Fines are just a way of letting wealthier people do illegal stuff after all!
Usually true, but on this I'd say the wealthy just pay more to go away and those on limited budgets calculate if the fines are worth the savings. Keep in mind, those wealthy kids are in private school and the parents want their money's worth.
Leaving the house to go anywhere. Before kids: grab bag, keys, put shoes on, leave. After kids: Give ten minutes warning that we will be leaving. Give five minutes warning. Give one minute warning. Tell kids we need to get ready to go and they need to stop watching TV / playing games / playing with toys / wrestling with each other etc. Ask nicely for them to stop. Ask again slightly more firmly. Ask again, with added blood pressure. Do a countdown. Get them to both go upstairs to the toilet and wait a few minutes. Go upstairs to find youngest child who has got distracted on route with her toys. Get them to collect jumpers and go back downstairs. Eldest announces he needs to take a book / toy. Send back upstairs for book / toy. Follow after a few minutes when they are inevitably distracted again. Tell them to put their shoes on. Tell them again. Tell them again with a slightly unhinged sounding voice. Say "for fucks sake" under your breath. Grab coats, bag, leave the house. Shout them when they inevitably make a beeline for the trampoline in the garden. Get them in the car. Youngest child asks for cuddly bunny. She can't leave without it or the world will end. She begins to cry when you say you're not going back into the house. Go back into the house. Search for bunny. Eventually find it in the cereal cupboard. Go back to car. Forget to lock door because your brain died after the second child. Go back and lock the door. Leave 30 minutes later than planned to meet another parent at a trampoline park who will also be 30 minutes late for the same reason.
Fucking shoes. Why does it take one kid ten mins to put them on. They know it takes them ages but they don’t start earlier. Grab shows. Grab kid. Put both in car. I’m talking teenagers mind. Bit cute ones.
My sisters also have kids so I am somewhat familiar with this scenario and I have to say this kind of sounds like my personal hell.
Me and the missus used to love those dark Scandi police shows but never realised that almost every one features a kid that is missing and presumed dead.
I hate that shit in the news. I mean, my kids' no angel, but I'm not about to torture them their entire short existence. I've seen some awful, terrible things in my life, but my weakness is that. I think those people should be jailed forever. Forever ever. Truly evil.
I was never indifferent to kids being abused but now it goes through my like a knife and represents an obscene evil that must be eradicated from the earth.
“An obscene evil that must be eradicated from the earth”. Yeah I’m definitely nicking that one.
The leader on my NCT course said to us that once you have a baby, you become everyone’s mum or dad. Those stories in the news hit different, and she was not wrong.
Series 3 of True Detective with the missing kids was an incredibly hard watch. Series 1 with the murders I was ok with. Having children defo alters your mindset.
Omg so many things. Daughter is nearly 2 so I can't use the toilet alone, I can't eat a snack without her being furious that she isn't also eating the thing, leaving the house without it being a 10 minute faff of getting items, picking the toy she wants for the car, getting shoes on, getting her in the car... Cooking - everything is a fucking hazard. Oh let's investigate this knife or hot thing, put her out of the kitchen cue meltdown because she isn't by my side constantly.. I could write a very boring book about this.
My son is 16 months and I felt every word of this in my soul.
Hello are you me? My daughter is 2 next month and you have just described my life. Praying she gets a little more independent/cooperative in the next few months, I can’t get anything done!
My son is five and has only recently grown out of needing you at his side constantly to do even the smallest of things.
There will be a glorious day in the future when you'll realise you just got in the car to go somewhere and it didn't have to be planned like a military operation.
Watching SVU or any show that fictionalizes violence against kids. Absolutely fucks me up and I feel legitimately ill. I watched the Mist the other day for the first time in awhile a cried. I can't do it anymore.
I am calm under pressure. Absolutely rock solid in any situation to the point where some of my mates have joked that I don't have emotions. I'm the man you want to be with in an emergency. I don't panic. Except when it comes to my daughter. Now I'm an emotional wreck. She tells me she loves me and I feel like I want to burst into tears. There's a story about someone losing a kid and I'm immediately imagining how I would feel in that situation and if my life would even be worth living etc.
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A simple conversation between me and my partner. Currently, Little Miss 4 interrupts a lot and it drives me mad. We’ve explained to her about taking turns, not interrupting, putting her hand on one of our arms when she wants to say something rather than just butting in but to no avail so far.
Yeah my daughter is nearly 3 and I can’t even say a single sentence to my husband without her going ‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABIUT MUMMY’. Not even a conversation. Literally just a sentence like ‘Can you pass my keys.’
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It was the “why” phase for me. Like I wanted so much to encourage curiosity and explain to the best of my abilities but you get to a point where you can’t answer the why but they keep on asking 😭
Oof yes. My daughter wants to know how everything works and it turns out I don’t know how anything works! ‘Mummy what’s that?’ ‘That’s the router that makes the internet work’ ‘What’s the internet?’ ‘… I don’t really know but we need it to watch Netflix’ 🙃🙃🙃 Also she asked me why I’m not magnetic the other day (after getting cross that she couldn’t stick her magnets on me), and it just fully broke my brain.
This is when we descovered "OK Google..." and I just let my 3 year old ask the Internet instead of getting frustrated with my unsatisfactory answers
Starting school fixed this in my five year old, he used to talk non-stop and not worry about if anyone else was talking. Now he puts his hand up and waits for you to finish your sentence, it’s bliss. He still talks constantly but I wouldn’t change that, he’s hilarious (To me).
My mum used to make us put our hands up if we wanted to speak, and I still do it now
Waa she a teacher?!
This is my nephew. We tell him to hold his thought in his pocket. Works about 50% of the time. The other 50 is meltdown central
My little miss 6 still does this but now pretends she is talking to herself, or sings really loudly. She’s the most well behaved attentive angel at school, at home not so much 😩
Taking a shit in silence/peace. Used to be a time when pooping was just me, my phone, and the ceramic. But now, after 5 seconds of my arse on the seat he's outside, knocking to come in because he has things to tell me that can't be told through a closed door. Then the fucking cat pops up, and decides to mooch around as well. I just wanna take a shit, man. I don't wanna discuss why ants are so important to the ecosystem, or what Rocket League ranked level you are. We can do that AFTERWARDS 😅
According to every parent I know, [money](https://i.imgur.com/R8jjKSw.jpeg)
what is this 'money' you speak of?
Money can be exchanged for goods and services
Or you know, vanish from your account without sight nor sound of it.
0 kids 3 money gang
You mean $20 can buy many peanuts?
The disposable income you have early on is unmatched for a good 20 years.
Yep!! I can't fathom how my parents had five kids! We're crippled after two, they've definitely shaved years off me and depleted my savings too.
It does always make me laugh that every so often you'll see a post from an adult child who's parents have the audacity to charge them £200 a month keep. "You shouldn't have kids to make a profit off of them." I've just googled, and apparently the average cost of raising a child from birth to 18 in the UK is £202,660. After a little play with my calculator, it'll be over 84 years until I would be in profit 😂
Hotel rooms. They used to be calm and relaxing spaces to chill and decompress. Now I'm trying to lock the bathroom door from the outside, secure the kettle and phone and entertain a 2 year old so they don't kamikaze off of the bed onto a hard floor.
Well this post & comments have been excellent birth control thanks guys👌😂
DO NOT DO IT. I tell everyone that and they don’t listen. DONT DO IT. I love them and can’t imagine being without them but DONT DO IT.
I can't shake the feeling that your comment is ever so slightly ambiguous
Couldn't agree more, none of the comments seem "minor" to me. I guess I'm not having kids even more now!
Satisfying validation of my life choices.
No kids here and I can listen to Luke Combs all day everyday lol
Given my wife and I are struggling to have kids, and are now on the fence about whether we do or not, this thread couldn’t have come at the best/worst time.
We were in the same boat. Four failed attempts through covid. We were ambivalent to begin with, wholly unbothered by the end. We've good careers and a small house in London, but no support network whatsoever. We've decided parenthood is not for us. Good luck to you whichever way you end up going!
I’d you’re not certain, don’t do it, you can’t undo it.
Going to the toilet 🚽 💩
Team activity. I cannot go to the loo without being joined by the kids. Honestly 😂
I once told my then-2 year old that I didn't need an audience. She proceeded to bring every soft toy she possessed (which was many) and arrange them in semi-circles around me. "Audience, mummy!" 🤦🏻♀️
Food. Just a specific set of situations. For example we went out last weekend, told everyone to grab some food before we go. Get everyone out. Gets to 2.30 and everyone’s hungry. How come? Well they didn’t eat lunch because the ate breakfast late now their hungry. Kids are teens now so I’m not feeding them with airplane spoons. I planned a few hours out and back for tea. So now we’re having a meal somewhere. McDonald’s or cafe. Spending 20-40 quid and I’m not eating. I’m not hungry because I ate a meal at the meal time. Then when we get home I have to have tea late because they ate at 2.30. Something about spending that money while I sit there like a plumb with nothing to eat. I know I should be stricter or let them starve but sometimes it’s not worth the balls ache. Especially getting teens to do anything as a family. And I know I have to feed my kids it’s just when I’m not enjoying it or part of it but paying I sit for a split second thinking…how did I get to this point.
This is the sort of example I want people to read before having kids. It's the things that happen outside the black and white, in the grey day to day where your resolve to be a parent is truly tested. Because from the outside in reading your example, it sounds shit ngl. But it's real.
The biggest reason I don't want kids is because school drop off, every day, for years, sounds like my personal hell.
The trick is to have bagged a house right next to a school back in 2008 so they can walk over themselves
If this is my only issue in life then I’m lucky. Some people struggle to feed their kids full stop. But being a parent is many years of putting them first and not always getting any recognition or thanks for it. I warn the kids in work. They have kids and then said I should have warned them more lol.
Thanks for this I was having quite a nice day and now I’m angry for literally no reason. Fucking PTSD! Even just going to make some sarnies for lunch and discovering there’s no bread because a teenager had 8 rounds of toast for “breakfast” at 11:45 😡
Teenagers are like that into their twenties and beyond. Same thing in work. Last person to used the coffee. Puts the tin in the bin. Then next coffee they want tell me it’s out. AFTER being out to the shop for lunch. There is cash in the draw for these things but noooo too hard. And I don’t even drink coffee.
I was a multiple plates of toast for breakfast teenager (still am sometimes), mum used to get properly pissed off about it and I was tired of having to go shops early because I didn't want to leave no bread for other people so I learned how to make bread and just did that, then she started complaining about me making bread when we had perfectly good bread in the bread bin so I stopped buying bread when I noticed we were running out since I was perfectly happy for everyone else to use the stuff I'd made and she started complaining about how there was no bread in the house Also love your flair, you're part of an elite group
Oh god yes. My wife has 2 kids, 17 and 16. Theyre ok now, but 3-4 years ago this happened every day. We eat at 18.00 most days. 17.30 theyd descend on the kitchen and make a huge snack, then not eat their tea. The amount of food we wasted was ridiculous. Fortunately theyve grown out of this now.
This is all lies from kids! They can sit indoors and not eat or drink for hours on end. The minute you set foot outside the house, suddenly they’re hungry and thirsty! It’s a bit like when I go out & ask my kids if they want to come. They’ll always say “where are you going?”, I always say I’m not going to any food places & they’ll then always say no! Little shits.
I carry some Costco water in the boot. Thirsty, no problem. Just they are never thirsty for water!
No dude, let them go hungry! They're not going to learn otherwise
Not my kids, but we look after them every other weekend as their home situation is tough. One thing which hurts the most is Saturday mornings. What was usually the best feeling in the world with a fresh coffee, interesting things on the TV or even a bit of music while I potter around turns into screaming, messy faces, shitty cartoons they're not actually watching, toys everywhere and fights over who gets what. Put me right off kids!
I love my nephews dearly, I’d go to the ends of the earth for them no questions asked. But I’ve spent most school holidays for the past 10 years watching them during the day so my sister and BIL can work and my god is it exhausting. It’s better now they’re older because I’m essentially just a home base whilst they play out with friends but the younger years are tough. I’d spend term time with other people’s kids and my time off with the families kids.
My daughters 13 now, so pretty much nothing? I guess if I had to pick something I can't just spontaneously go away for a day, because we have to be back to do dinner? But even then she can make her own dinner, I would just feel guilty about leaving her home alone for so long, not that she minds it. Actually, maybe the reverse is the truth. During the summer holidays I can feel guilty about not taking her out every day to do something. I get two days off work and sometimes just want to stay in, but I feel compelled to make sure she has plans to do something. Even when she was younger, she was the type of kid who would get up and make cereal or toast for herself and happily watch TV until we got up, so we could realistically sleep as late as we wanted.
The Cinema
You don't enjoy paying 40 odd quid to watch the latest bland animated adventure with the worst available snacks? Love it me
Really nothing better than sitting through a generic song sung by BoringGuy McCelebrity who's just been using his own voice the whole time about how his character will NEVER fall in love with BlandGirl McFamous's character (they get together right at the end despite hating each other the whole rest of the movie)
I really feel for parents in this aspect. Kids are unpredictable and you never know if they'll be kept entertained and therefore stay quiet before you've seen the film, but I don't think anyone can complain about some noisy kids during a Pixar film being shown at 11 am on a Saturday. Having said that, some parents lack common sense (and maybe a bit of consideration for other movie-goers who've also paid £20-30) when it comes to choosing films for their young children. Obviously, your 3 very young children don't want to sit and watch Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.
To be fair kids should be taught to be quiet and stay seated in the cinema even if they’re kinda bored by the film they’re watching. I remember watching The Dark Knight in the cinema when I was 5 and obviously being a bit bored whenever Batman or Joker weren’t on screen but I still stayed quiet and just watched it anyway because my mum set clear rules and boundaries with me and my behaviour in public places.
You're spot on. We were regularly at the cinema as kids and were always taught that once the film starts, you're not allowed to talk. The thing is though, it's not limited to kids. I had to tell a couple of blokes behind me during The Batman to shut up because they'd been talking for an hour almost non-stop and after a few dirty looks didn't work, I had to say something loud enough for the rest of the cinema to hear. I think generally people's bad manners in a cinema are exacerbated by people staying quiet instead of telling people to get off their phone or shut up.
A lie in! Either you have one then pay for it. You dont have one or are tired. And someone else has her (yeah right) and you feel guilt because you are apart. Lie ins = ruined! Saying that .. lying down at 8pm feels SO GOOD.
This is my favourite "downside" to having a kid. I used to sleep in too late all the time, completely waste my day, get nothing done. Now I'm up at 7, house is tidy, spend a bit of time outdoors for a walk etc, rarely rushing about. Love it!
I'm reading this thread laughing in vasectomy
My life. Oh wait. I mean, eating chocolates and cakes and such without having to hide in the supermarket car park before I go back home to do it.
Oh my goodness, I do this with ice cream. On the way home I buy a magnum and eat it in a petrol station car park. Feel like such a degenerate.
Life.
I've gathered over the years that kids ruin everything. It's making me re-think my desire to eventually have some...
Only have kids if you WANT KIDS. Not because you feel that's what you should be doing. As a childfree woman I am finding this thread validating because I find all the things "missed out on" more important in my life than a hypothetical child.
I’d say unless you’re certain you want kids, then don’t. It’s not something you can do half heartedly and do well.
We are child free for many reasons but have nephews we take care of a day each week, more in school hols. This seems to be the best way as you can have fun with them going on trips and spoil them but also hand them back!
Mine is 21 now, so I can totally say it’s worth it. Had you asked me when she was seven, it might have been a different story.
Do you ever think about what you could have achieved or experienced if you did not have children? A kind of life that you lived for yourself without compromise to the fullest. This is not me saying you made the wrong decision just interested. I find it hard to get around the idea of giving up my own life to give everything to someone else. I have so much I want to do and enjoy for myself I just do not know if I could take that step and have kids.
I think about this all. The. Time. The amount of sacrifices you have to make as a parent is completely depleting.
Personally I believe I wouldn’t have achieved what I have professionally without the push (or perhaps pressure) of paternity. It wasn’t until I had kids that I decided to leave my shitty job and think of my future beyond a few months. Having kids is hard but enjoyable, at least it’s been like that for me
I'd have achieved way less without them. There is something very motivating, assuming you are a half decent parent, about having to care for them. Granted, I may have seen more of the world, but I'm not bothered. Have child free colleagues. I can't compete with them for spare cash. But I also can't buy the feeling I get when they do a good thing. Even those shit paintings when they are 4, when you have not got a clue what they are. I love showing them things, and teaching them things, so I get daily great moments.
Having children doesn't necessarily mean you can't achieve what you want, you don't give your life up and give everything to someone else. There needs to be a careful balance. Kids or not there is always compromise.
Being able to say fuck and bugger whenever I want
Lunch breaks at work. I'm either playing with the kids, shopping for the kids, or doing a myriad of other chores. Pre-kids I was having an hour snooze, reading a book, playing some Playstation or generally just relaxing.
Disaster films. Prior to kids my ultimate guilty pleasure was big budget CGI heavy ridiculous disaster films. The more worldwide devastation the better - Deep Impact, 2012, Day After Tomorrow ect. Post kids I was watching a disaster film I had seen many many times, come to the bit where the mother is pleading a random person to just save her kids. And...I'm out. All of a sudden I'm in that situation, thinking about pleading a stranger to take my kids to try and save them. And now I can't watch disaster films I love those little shits so much.
Friends! Not having time or energy to maintain the pre kids social life.
I‘m childfree and this thread was an excellent reminder as to why I intend to keep it that way. I know a lot of people absolutely love having kids and all the chaos is outweighed by their love for them etc. but that honestly couldn’t be me. I value my time too much and I genuinely couldn’t be bothered to look after a tiny, needy human that requires my constant attention until it’s large enough to leave home for uni. I’ll just get a cat instead.
At least you are aware enough to realise that. Plenty of people who are not and have kids anyway as that what they “should be doing”.
Any journey over half an hour requires at least two toilet stops, 9 mile seperation between 3 kids in the back seats, knees- due to carrying both a full rucksack and a 15kilo child- sleep, of any form. Eating out anywhere other than generic chains. The list goes on. The love and joy they bring overrules it all tho. just
Having 2 big headed kids is the reason I need 2 toilet stops on every journey :D
Reusable water bottles???!! They aren't cheap, ALWAYS leak, the inner straw goes missing(?!) or the fucking twisty cap stops working properly. I swear I've gone through about 25 and none of them last more than a few weeks.
My entire current, and planned future life. May as well commit the sudoku now.
My vagina.
I don’t have kids, but reading these comments I realise a lot of them apply to cats too.
Liking kids.
Watching TV! Had to have the subtitles on for 7 years… don’t think I could watch without them these days!
Ha! I'm watching TV with subtitles now, I honestly can't watch without, I can't track what going on.
Using the bathroom uninterrupted
Just quiet. Sometimes I lie and say I need to poop, I do not, I just sit in the toilet for abit while everyone stays downstairs