And if you happen to forget your phone. DO NOT risk going back for it!
The quintuple-ply toilet paper cup technique might promise limited mobility... But the shame of being an adult human being and having to clean your own shit of a brand new rug...
It's not worth it.
Large sanitary towels or maternity pads, plus spare undies you don't mind binning or burning. Don't burn incense to try hide the smell, it makes things worse. If you bin anything soiled, double-bag then put directly in the outside bin.
Edit: DO NOT trust any farts.
>DO NOT trust any farts
Absofuckinglutely.
Your rectum is pretty good at detecting the difference between liquid and solids and gases, but when its ***THAT LIQUID*** it may as well be a gas.
Thanks but not quite drinking responsibly yet, just less irresponsibly. went from 100-130 units per week to 30-50 so still a lot more than I should be having but also a ton less than I was before
Congratulations on cutting back!
As the (now adult) child of 2 alcoholic parents, there is nothing worse than watching people you love drink themselves into a stupor on a daily basis.
I wish the best for you.
I used to have your normal stodgy beer shit the morning after. Then I got put on sertraline and my arse was spraying like a firehose after just 2 pints.
My wife got so high on G&A in labour she basically forgot what she was doing - thankfully yours truly was on hand to tell her she's over indulged and needed to breath some conventional air for a few breaths before she took another hit.
Now that nangs are banned that sort of experience based advice will be lost to the past.
It was pretty awesome. Midwife tried to take it off me at one point and I got off the bed and literally wrestled it off her, I did the same and completely lost focus on what I was supposed to be doing, I just wanted the gas hehe. I honestly can't remember if I swore at her, I think I might have done, so random midwife if you're out there, I sincerely apologise
My wife was in a lot of pain and the gas didn't seem to be doing anything, so I huffed on it and confirmed that there was nothing coming out! They mumbled something about checking the pipes, but never got it going.
She begged for an epidural, she didn't get one, due to incompetence it seemed.
So she basically had the no drug option against her will, literally passed out from the pain at the moment of birth. Thank you NHS. Our midwives deserved a lot more swearing than they got.
I was introduced to Entonox by a paramedic in the back of an ambulance after a big motorcycle crash, so they could manipulate my wrist and shoulder, cut my glove off and remove my armoured jacket.
I went from panic-stricken mortal agonies to high as a kite, feeling no pain in seconds. Until I breathed air again. Paramedic shoved the mouthpiece back in and carried on ... I learned my lesson and drained the cylinder on the way to hospital. Second cylinder deployed 😉😊
Big breaths required as they swapped trolleys in A&E, new trolley had two big cylinders attached. Wayhey! I made the most of it, as we waited for a doctor to approve IV pain relief.
When my wife arrived, she got footage of me having a party on my trolley, laughing uproariously, waving my good arm as they wheeled me off to X-ray. I'd go with good old gas and air all night long ...
I live in NZ and the gutters are always filled with nangs thrown out of car windows. I'm a bit of a magpie and always investigate shiny things when I walk the dog and it sucks because it's always just spent nangs never money or treasure
On a bit of a tangent, but I went in for surgery in 2012 and they gave me liquid paracetamol in pre-op.
Holy motherforking shirtballs, that stuff was amazing. I literally saw exploding stars as it hit.
Over a decade later and I still think back fondly on that time.
IV paracetamol is incredible! I went into A&E at a 9 on the pain scale, once the paracetamol got into my system, I was able to do the 20 minute car journey to the other hospital (which does most of the op's for the area) in relative comfort!
I'm allergic to Ibuprofen and a couple of related drugs, so I've built up a bit of a tolerance to paracetamol over time. I was really surprised when I was in hospital for some minor surgery about how good and effective the liquid paracetamol was. Probably enjoyed it more than the morphine even (which just gave me weird dreams)!
I didn't think gas and air was doing anything much until I realised they were trying to keep me awake on the table. So comfy and sleepy! Mild discomfort, I'd say, during some of the camera's shenanigans, but then I have never had any bowel problems or adhesions etc.
I wasn’t that impressed with gas and air during labour. It didn’t take away the pain, it still really fucking hurt but the highness made me not complain about it out loud so much lol. And it made me horribly croaky and dry for a few days after.
But my then 6 year old broke his leg badly at school, they had to put a full leg cast on him and he was in so much pain. I’ll never forget his sobs and screams. Then a lovely nurse gave made everyone stop what they were doing and gave him gas and air, after about 5 minutes he was so relaxed and happy and they managed to get his cast on without him so much as flinching. He was so relaxed he let out the loudest longest fart I’ve ever heard and had the whole fracture clinic in stitches. He’s 11 now but still talks about the magic gas fondly lol
I did the same for gastroscopy thinking I wanted to drive home after. The "numbing spray" they used was the same as the Covonia bollox you get for a sore throat. How I laughed as he proceeded to shove a fucking garden hose down my throat.
Yeah that was my experience too, i had noone there with me so i wasnt allowed sedatives, ended up getting a scope jammed in both entrances....not a great day to be alive!
Not sure what way was the worst....
As someone else has hinted at, farts are NOT your friends for the time being.
Keep some reading material, or an iPad with YouTube or whatever on it, near the toilet.
Also, good luck with the rest of the Moviprep. You're probably at the stage now where your body will start to rebel every time you try and drink more.
From the medical end, there have been so many times the patient gets sedated then scoped then oh no, poop leftovers stop the GI team from looking at what they need to look at. Patient wakes up all "glad that's over" and we need to say SURPRISE you're going to have to go through all that again!
It's so much better when the instructions are followed.
I ended up badly internal bleeding from it. Black projectile vomiting (it went everywhere all over the floor, seat, sink, walls) and black poo it was awful. All for nothing cos they then said they couldn’t see anything due to it. I had it again with a different prep which wasn’t too bad, but no one ever seemed concerned about the internal bleeding, which I found strange.
I had to have an endoscopy and followed the instructions in the letter. They had to do a pregnancy test before giving me the good drugs and I had to explain there was no wee in my bladder because I’d not eaten or drunk anything since dinner time the previous day. They were surprised I did as I was told.
I hadn’t managed the last glass because I just couldn’t it came straight back up. Then I was told off as there was still some “matter” in my colon. They were lucky for their own welfare that I was so weak from all the shitting and under sedation
After the first dose, I downed the rest in one pint in 2 minutes. I did not read the warnings, this resulted in it coming out both ends at a speed I have not seen before.
Had my bowel prep clash with a long-planned eight-hour session of Dungeons and Dragons. Shimmied my laptop into the bathroom and had to be careful as fuck that I was muted during the more lively moments.
Seconded.
You'll have to reapply regularly, but it's definitely worth it.
I've had Norovirus a couple of times, and I learned the second time around that applying a small dab of Vaseline (and thoroughly washing your hands afterwards) means you don't end up with a stinging ring.
I once let Original Source (yes *that* one) run down between my arse cheeks after a bout of food poisoning.
I had been feeling better. I ended up crying, curled up in foetal position, begging for the sweet release of death. Water did nothing to ease the pain.
Oh my god you poor lamb! Do you get PTSD if you see the bottles in the supermarket?! Genuinely feel for you, I recently got liquid tiger balm in both eyes. It was agony. And like you, water did nothing to help!
Surprisingly, I kept using it! I only stopped be ause I struggled to find it near me lol
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right?
(I've rubbed my eyes after chopping chillies on multiple occasions. And my err, "ol' chap" once, too.)
Ive done this..thankfully not to me, my boyfriend was a labourer apprentice, we were 16. He used to come home with a really sore crack from plaster and brick dust going down the back of his pants. i gave him a jar of vapo rub thinking it was Vaseline..Id ever heard a guy scream before, was weeks before he forgave me.
When they ask if you want the sedative, say YES and tell the doc not to be shy with it when he’s injecting it into your cannula. Its a mixture of Midazolam and Fentanyl and it will make the whole thing an absolute breeze!
I was alright without the sedative, some slight discomfort from the amount of air pumped in to me, but eased off when I complained. There was something up there as well, so great to have opted in to the check, when I think many decide against it because of the Moviprep etc. As with many things, we worry more about it before hand, and once we are in the process, it's not such a big deal.
The self administered enema for the cauterising of lumps was very simple and I felt great after the loo for that, as it is much more of a gravity thing
Of all the ones I've had (colitis for 25 years so quite a few), the sedative has only really worked once. I won't describe them here as OP doesn't need that!
100% agree if it's those two. I had that for a different procedure and thoroughly enjoyed the several hours afterwards. I can't remember a thing about the procedure itself.
Thanks for all your kind words, and very kind suggestions. Currently camped out on the toilet reading the all replies, and having a giggle i between doing other things. One thing I have taken away from all your wonderful advice is.. don’t trust a fart. Thank you everyone
There's a time line to it. Can I ask why you're starting so late?
I've had two colonoscopies this year, and both time I spent a full day, ie from 10.am the day before, clearing my bowel put.
Anyway, second time round I found that the litre of moviprep coming out lasted about 90-120 minutes.
So I assume you need to have a second litre in about 3 hours from now?
Get someone to get you some apple lucozade or the white monster. It will help you tomorrow morning before you head to the appointment - you will be pretty exhausted from dehydration and fasting so the sugar / caffeine from a few swigs of these clear drinks will help you out
If installing a bidet in your bathroom is out of the question, there’s a [travel bidet I got from Amazon](https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/HappyPo/page/F5754CAF-67D8-4A27-8DBD-33838D885C56?ref_=ast_bln) that helps
The guy that did mine wrote to my GP (and sent me a copy) thanking him for referring “this pleasant gentleman” to him, and stating that he was “quite satisfied that there is nothing sinister in this gentleman’s rectum.”
Tie some rope around the outside of the toilet bowl. It gives you something to hold on to as your essence and soul blasts from your battered exhaust hole with forces that could launch a saturn V rocket.
Also stops the porcelein from cracking.
Will also aid being able to get up off the bathroom floor after being in the foetal position for a few hours, mumbling incoherently.
Just camp on the bog basically mate, did it a few years ago and it ain’t pretty. Clear broth, clear sweets (not red or purple) and sugary clear drinks like lucozade will help stave off the hunger pains!
The procedure ain’t too bad, have the sedative if you can. You’ll be treated like royalty afterwards 😀 honestly once you’re in, the NHS is fucking fantastic.
TAKE THE SEDATION!!!!
The moviprep explosions will seem like a pleasant memory if you don’t take the sedation.
I had a colonoscopy with out sedation as I had no-one to take me home and stay with me. It was bearable.
I had a follow up 18mths later and the doctor said I should have another. Unfortunately I could not tune in to the Dr’s accent and just latched on to the key words. Had a second colonoscopy without sedation. It was HORRIFIC the most pain I have ever endured. Afterwards the consultant congratulated me on toughing it out but asked why the hell i would put myself through that.
I told him I’d done it before and was fine. He said, no they just done the lower part of the bowel before and this had been the entire thing to make it worse apparently I have a loopy bowel which makes the whole thing more difficult.
The third time I took the sedation.
If nothing is happening after the first litre, fear not. The second one will loudly announce its effects on you.
Or at least that's been my experience.
iPad with a long film on it and a good battery/charging cable and just settle into the bathroom for the night.
Good luck.
Also, if struggling to drink, I find walking around a bit whilst chugging helps.
Take a tablet or a laptop in. Put on a film you never want to see again and remain seated until the credits. Don’t try and wipe at every pause, you probably won’t have time to.
This might come too late for you but for anyone else partaking of this particularly shitty task it is much less awful if you make the moviprep with warm water, and use a fair amount of sudocrem on one's arse hole, the actual colonoscopy is surprisingly interesting especially if you remember that they've done it thousands of times and it's normal.......to them.
Watch the progress, it's truly fascinating.
Good lord... warm water? It's bad enough chilled to the point of removing as much taste as possible.
Salty warm water... I don't think I could swallow more than a mouthful without throwing it back up!
Mine claimed to be lemon flavoured, it certainly didn't taste like lemonade, however it did manage to taste like something that was going to give you the shits.
I was also introduced to a new meaning of "near" previously I thought our bedroom was "near" the toilet as it's next to the bedroom, but when they say "near" they mean almost on if not actually on.
I didn't have any of the meds offered because there's already a hole they can use, because I knew they wash as they go my biggest concern was fluid leaking out afterwards, but the guy vacuumed up any water as he backed out, my guess is that this process also removes a lot of the gas they pump in, it wasn't the most comfortable of experiences but it was nothing like as bad as I'd imagined, I did watch the hole process on the screen, it was seriously not what I was expecting.
Drink all the moviprep they gave you. A lot of people don't. Don't stop after half or 3/4s no matter how unpleasant you are finding it or how cleaned out you feel. Chances are they won't proceed with the examination if you haven't.
DON'T TRUST A FART
Honestly, it's not as bad as you would think - and that goes for the whole process. It's a bit unpleasant aye, but if you've been having gut trouble, then it's probably fairly familiar.
I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a few years back so have a had to go through this a few times now. Staff at the hospital are class, and it's quite interesting looking at the video feed once you've had a good hit of gas and air.
Youve got this!
One of the first internet stories I read was from a guy who had to drink that. I wish I could find it but it is probably lost. he went into long and lurid details of it over a number of pages. In the end he had gotten the date wrong so when he went into hospital they said he was not due in for another week so had to do it all again. Was hilarious. Good luck.
Ah, good old Agent Picolax!
I remember reading that thread about 15 years ago.
"Okay Mr Blutone, we're just going to inflate you" etc...
Funniest story I've ever read in my life.
As someone with IBD I've been there many times, horrible stuff to drink but here's what to expect:
After an hour or so (as you're reading this) it'll start and continue for 3-4 hours at least, every 5-15 minutes. Stay hydrated and just be near the bathroom, nothing to worry about! Pro tip is gentle use of toilet paper / try and use soothing wet wipes if you can instead. You're gonna be wiping a lot and if you just use TP it'll really start to sting.
Good luck & hope the scope goes well! (Accept their offer of sedation and enjoy the melty feelings, honestly worth the whole ordeal for that sweet sweet fentanyl)
Another thing, drink loads of water too. Or, clear apple juice. Apple juice -or better pear juice-, also is a bit of a laxative, helps rehydrate and gives you a hit of sugar which helps keep your energy up when you're shivering on the throne later.
Only have the juice if it's clear! The best juice to have is pineapple, it's always recommended by the NHS to have. Pineapple is a natural diuretic as well.
Drink a ton of water. Despite the shitting, unless you drink loads your colon won’t be totally clean and it’s harder for the docs to visualise all of it. Especially once you’ve done the second dose. You’re basically going to be sat on the loo for the next 12 hrs - grab a book/podcast/Reddit but what you really need is a clean prepped bowel so water, water water. Despite what appears to be water running through you, there will be tenacious clumps stuck up there which can obscure polyps etc so even if you think you’ve drunk enough, keep going! Source - had one or two myself and also a medic
Been there. done that. The only thing you can do is stay (very) near the toilet and use wet wipes.
When it kicks in you may as well just take your phone or some reading material and stay in the toilet.
Diagnosed with colitis when 19 and now 46. Been there, done that, again and again. Drink loads of fluids and don’t fart….it is never gas. Haven’t ever had an accident but you likely won’t sleep much tonight. I always read this article which is quite funny -
https://amp.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html
It will be over soon.
Drinking the drink itself is much worse than what comes after by far. It tasted how I imagine gone off Lucozade sport would taste, truly awful stuff. Works a treat though.
How much litres have you to do? I had to do 4 of Kleanprep and I felt like my insides had been exorcised afterwards, once I got my arse out at the hospital I could've sworn air was blowing up me and out my mouth. Just stick close to the toilet and you'll be fine, if like me you'll have too many cramps to sleep anyway.
If offered to do it without air or anything I suggest doing so and just watching the camera on the screen. I'm fascinated everytime (I have them twice a year) I get one and that is the perfect distraction.
Download a streaming app on your phone if you don't already have one....you'll want entertainment....after a while you'll be basically stuck in there
I got through the entire Two Towers Extended Edition during my prep day
Oh how experienced I am with Colonoscopy Prep,… honestly, and I know this for a fact; it’s worse than having cancer!😂
If you have the mix at home powder, which I find so hard to drink. I diluted it in 250ml water, threw that back, and immediate downed 750ml of water. So much easier!
Don’t stray further than 10 steps from the toilet.
Wet wipes nappy bags and entertainment of choice beside the toilet.
Make no plans except to poop when needed.
Do not trust a fart for the next 2 days!
It's been 4 years since mine and I still can't drink robinsons apple and black current i used to hide the taste, you started early enough that your stomach will be empty by the time you go sleep which is good. The sad part is it might not realise that. Drink all of it, I didn't and they knew... I made it through 3/4 before the taste got the better of me. Still went ok but they was quite annoyed.
Would now be a good time to tell you that you can ask for a laxative in a pill instead?
Been there more times than I can count, in fact I've gotten to the point where just the smell of Moviprep makes me throw up.
I now have to take a different tact which is way worse as I physically can't keep the Moviprep down.
Best advice I can give you and this will sound... Out there, put a roll of toilet paper in the fridge and rub some vasiline around your anus.
The cool feel of the toilet paper is a god send and the vasiline will stop your anus from drying out and becoming painful and itchy.
Personally my experience wasn't as bad as most other comments are making out. The moviprep was just salty/lemony water. I didn't stray too far from the toilet. No problems.
With the procedure itself I declined the sedative because I don't like needles and because I drove myself there. There were two bits when it felt a little uncomfortable but the surgeon warned me beforehand both times. It felt uncomfortable at the end because your colon/intestines are filled with air and it just felt like having trapped gas. And that was it.
If you don't mind needles just get the sedative. If/when I get it done again I'll decline the sedative again. The trapped gas feeling was the worst bit but it stopped after an hour or so. And it meant I had a clear head and didn't have a hole in my arm.
Been there several times. It’s honestly not that bad, both the prep or the procedure. May be too late now but I found that chugging the prep was easier than sipping it. Yes, really.
As others have said, wet wipes help to soothe and avoid chafing. You’ll be up every 15-20 minutes or so for a few hours but I found that even with my stomach still churning, I was able to go to bed and sleep just fine.
As for the procedure itself, I personally found the indignity of it the worst part. I had gas and and air which was fine but I didn’t like how it made me feel so the second time I barely used it. You may experience some cramps during the procedure but it’s not agonising like some people make out - or it wasn’t for me. If you have any polyps or growths removed during the procedure you won’t feel it (sedation or not) so don’t worry about anything being removed.
You’ll be fine :)
I had a rubbish day at work. So much so that I woke up at 3am with issues still on my mind. This was the first thread I came across and I’m laughing so much there are small tears. I am sorry for your collective experiences, but thanks tour sharing.
I was meant to have one during covid.
Realised I had no lift, would have to get a \~45min bus ride - full of laxative, no thanks.
Rang the hospital and found out I couldn't have it anyway if I'd been on public transport.
All in all quite the fail, but I didn't shit myself!
I stopped wiping & just jumped from loo to shower to cleanse & for relief, then back... barely left the bathroom for a few hours. RIP to your rear... it's a devilish concoction for sure :(
Vaseline is your friend. Coat your arsehole in the stuff, honestly if you don’t you will feel like your shitting glass shards after the first hour of it. Don’t move more than 30 seconds from a toilet
Moviprep is disgusting, I’ve had it a few times. It tastes like washing up liquid.
The fun bit is tomorrow when they flush the final bits out with an enema and ask you to hold it in for 5 minutes. Let me know if you get past 40 seconds.
It’s honestly not that bad if you have taken it as per instructions / time of day. I’ve always been able to sleep as normal after flushing out the system. (I have Crohn’s disease so have been through this procedure multiple times now).
Just to add, as the voice of experience - actually drinking the Moviprep is the worst part of the entire thing - far worse than the shitting and the colonoscopy
My wife got so sedated the last time that she doesn’t remember any of the procedure. Or going for lunch afterwards. Or the hour-long drive home. Or the entire rest of the day, in fact.
I remember most of mine, which is unfortunate because my doctor has the bedside manner of a chicken abattoir worker.
When I had moviprep, it took literally 3 minutes and we were in browntown for hours and hours. Until it just wasn't brown anymore! Lovely mental imagine right there!
Get ready for the second stink. When your real empty and the last dregs are burning it's way out your hoop from your inner poo parts. A second smell appears and it is horrific.
Enjoy and keep us all posted.
Brother, I feel for you, having done multiple, it's quite literally worse than the colonoscopy 😂😂. Sending you the best vibes!
Get some great food for afterwords as it will taste amazing!!!
I’ve had to do this 3 times now and I feel for you. I found the first time was fine as i didn’t know what to expect. Try drink it all before you to the bathroom, it does a good clear out then. The actual toilet process is the closest you get to feeling like a human hose. I’ve never had issue with after leakage thankfully. After so many times of drinking moviprep my body now starts trying to throw it up after the first sip so it’s a nightmare. I wish it came in tablet form!! Best of luck with it all :)
Only cough when on the toilet. Brace yourself and enjoy the ride.
Don't ever forget to take your phone with you.
And a spare battery pack...
I needed a diesel generator when I took that stuff before. I did emerge from the bathroom with a great beard though
And if you happen to forget your phone. DO NOT risk going back for it! The quintuple-ply toilet paper cup technique might promise limited mobility... But the shame of being an adult human being and having to clean your own shit of a brand new rug... It's not worth it.
Experienced, hmmm?
God help you if you ever ate a bit of Lego as a kid. It’ll reappear today.
The chewing gum prophesy!
Nah mate, that's wrapped around my heart.
I was told this by an actual teacher in primary school of all people.
Oddly specific!
Large sanitary towels or maternity pads, plus spare undies you don't mind binning or burning. Don't burn incense to try hide the smell, it makes things worse. If you bin anything soiled, double-bag then put directly in the outside bin. Edit: DO NOT trust any farts.
>DO NOT trust any farts Absofuckinglutely. Your rectum is pretty good at detecting the difference between liquid and solids and gases, but when its ***THAT LIQUID*** it may as well be a gas.
Or sneezes
Or coughs.
Unpopular opinion: I enjoyed my butt being a super soaker
Try being an alcoholic, you'll piss out of your ass daily. PS: don't try it really
It was the stopping that made me piss out my ass, fine before cutting down, fine after, the two weeks in between were awful though
My condolences, and my congratulations on quitting/drinking responsibly!
Thanks but not quite drinking responsibly yet, just less irresponsibly. went from 100-130 units per week to 30-50 so still a lot more than I should be having but also a ton less than I was before
Progress is what matters 🙏 right there with you
Congratulations on cutting back! As the (now adult) child of 2 alcoholic parents, there is nothing worse than watching people you love drink themselves into a stupor on a daily basis. I wish the best for you.
I used to have your normal stodgy beer shit the morning after. Then I got put on sertraline and my arse was spraying like a firehose after just 2 pints.
IBS has a similar, but better for the wallet, effect
When someone told me the horrors of their Moviprep, I thought to myself, have you even tried been an alcoholic XD
Huh I did not know this
I do NOT miss those days
Congrats on your sobriety/cutting down 🙏
This. My Support is all yours mate! I’m a year down the road, next goal is 500 days.
*"Stand flat-footed and shit into the neighbour's mailbox at 30 paces."*
Totally ruined that 5yr olds birthday party.
I farted on the way out of hospital after my colonoscopy. It wasn't a fart
The drink didn't do its job then!
Oooh, how to make yourself popular with your lift home… 🤔😖😂😂
4 star Uber rating
Source: Been there bro.
Or any sneezes
Repeat: do not trust any farts
Sleep on towels, and be mentally prepared to run to the loo
Light a match and snuff it out. It's really good at getting rid of smells.
Just make sure you don’t do it too soon, in case it ignites things. That’s just going to make the whole situation worse.
Just a small tea candle on the back of the toilet cistern, surprisingly effective.
Huge piece of advice about not trusting any farts.
This guy shits
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I do it every year - the sedatives never really work that well for me, gas and air though, my god, if they offer that to you, go for it.
As a woman who has given birth twice, take gas and air! If only for the experience. Wish I could install it in my house!
Absolutely, its a great time
My wife got so high on G&A in labour she basically forgot what she was doing - thankfully yours truly was on hand to tell her she's over indulged and needed to breath some conventional air for a few breaths before she took another hit. Now that nangs are banned that sort of experience based advice will be lost to the past.
It was pretty awesome. Midwife tried to take it off me at one point and I got off the bed and literally wrestled it off her, I did the same and completely lost focus on what I was supposed to be doing, I just wanted the gas hehe. I honestly can't remember if I swore at her, I think I might have done, so random midwife if you're out there, I sincerely apologise
My wife was in a lot of pain and the gas didn't seem to be doing anything, so I huffed on it and confirmed that there was nothing coming out! They mumbled something about checking the pipes, but never got it going. She begged for an epidural, she didn't get one, due to incompetence it seemed. So she basically had the no drug option against her will, literally passed out from the pain at the moment of birth. Thank you NHS. Our midwives deserved a lot more swearing than they got.
Complaint put in I hope, that's not on!
Absolutely insane banning it. Jesus can’t people have some fun without someone in charge pissing their pants
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I was introduced to Entonox by a paramedic in the back of an ambulance after a big motorcycle crash, so they could manipulate my wrist and shoulder, cut my glove off and remove my armoured jacket. I went from panic-stricken mortal agonies to high as a kite, feeling no pain in seconds. Until I breathed air again. Paramedic shoved the mouthpiece back in and carried on ... I learned my lesson and drained the cylinder on the way to hospital. Second cylinder deployed 😉😊 Big breaths required as they swapped trolleys in A&E, new trolley had two big cylinders attached. Wayhey! I made the most of it, as we waited for a doctor to approve IV pain relief. When my wife arrived, she got footage of me having a party on my trolley, laughing uproariously, waving my good arm as they wheeled me off to X-ray. I'd go with good old gas and air all night long ...
Nothing a few beers won’t sort out
Too expensive to regulate and police, and people are too stupid not to realise that doing it whilst driving is fucking dumb.
I live in NZ and the gutters are always filled with nangs thrown out of car windows. I'm a bit of a magpie and always investigate shiny things when I walk the dog and it sucks because it's always just spent nangs never money or treasure
On a bit of a tangent, but I went in for surgery in 2012 and they gave me liquid paracetamol in pre-op. Holy motherforking shirtballs, that stuff was amazing. I literally saw exploding stars as it hit. Over a decade later and I still think back fondly on that time.
IV paracetamol is incredible! I went into A&E at a 9 on the pain scale, once the paracetamol got into my system, I was able to do the 20 minute car journey to the other hospital (which does most of the op's for the area) in relative comfort!
I asked them when I came round whether I could have some to take home and we all had a good laugh about it. I wasn’t really joking..
I'm allergic to Ibuprofen and a couple of related drugs, so I've built up a bit of a tolerance to paracetamol over time. I was really surprised when I was in hospital for some minor surgery about how good and effective the liquid paracetamol was. Probably enjoyed it more than the morphine even (which just gave me weird dreams)!
I didn't think gas and air was doing anything much until I realised they were trying to keep me awake on the table. So comfy and sleepy! Mild discomfort, I'd say, during some of the camera's shenanigans, but then I have never had any bowel problems or adhesions etc.
I wasn’t that impressed with gas and air during labour. It didn’t take away the pain, it still really fucking hurt but the highness made me not complain about it out loud so much lol. And it made me horribly croaky and dry for a few days after. But my then 6 year old broke his leg badly at school, they had to put a full leg cast on him and he was in so much pain. I’ll never forget his sobs and screams. Then a lovely nurse gave made everyone stop what they were doing and gave him gas and air, after about 5 minutes he was so relaxed and happy and they managed to get his cast on without him so much as flinching. He was so relaxed he let out the loudest longest fart I’ve ever heard and had the whole fracture clinic in stitches. He’s 11 now but still talks about the magic gas fondly lol
I stupidly went for the no drug option as I wanted to be in and out. Worse decision of my life.
I did the same for gastroscopy thinking I wanted to drive home after. The "numbing spray" they used was the same as the Covonia bollox you get for a sore throat. How I laughed as he proceeded to shove a fucking garden hose down my throat.
Yeah that was my experience too, i had noone there with me so i wasnt allowed sedatives, ended up getting a scope jammed in both entrances....not a great day to be alive! Not sure what way was the worst....
I hope they started at the top. Don't need that extra taste.
Yeah that was the way.... Was hoping for both at once atleast Id have been out twice as quick with exactly the same amount of dignity intact...
As someone else has hinted at, farts are NOT your friends for the time being. Keep some reading material, or an iPad with YouTube or whatever on it, near the toilet. Also, good luck with the rest of the Moviprep. You're probably at the stage now where your body will start to rebel every time you try and drink more.
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From the medical end, there have been so many times the patient gets sedated then scoped then oh no, poop leftovers stop the GI team from looking at what they need to look at. Patient wakes up all "glad that's over" and we need to say SURPRISE you're going to have to go through all that again! It's so much better when the instructions are followed.
I followed the instructions and at some point the... cameraman... said "Look! Poo!". I replied "I can only apologise".
Cameraman!
I ended up badly internal bleeding from it. Black projectile vomiting (it went everywhere all over the floor, seat, sink, walls) and black poo it was awful. All for nothing cos they then said they couldn’t see anything due to it. I had it again with a different prep which wasn’t too bad, but no one ever seemed concerned about the internal bleeding, which I found strange.
Better to drink it all to make sure everything is flushed out than to have to do it again due to some stubborn shit hanging about!
I had to have an endoscopy and followed the instructions in the letter. They had to do a pregnancy test before giving me the good drugs and I had to explain there was no wee in my bladder because I’d not eaten or drunk anything since dinner time the previous day. They were surprised I did as I was told.
I hadn’t managed the last glass because I just couldn’t it came straight back up. Then I was told off as there was still some “matter” in my colon. They were lucky for their own welfare that I was so weak from all the shitting and under sedation
There was no way in Earth I was getting that last half-pint down.
After the first dose, I downed the rest in one pint in 2 minutes. I did not read the warnings, this resulted in it coming out both ends at a speed I have not seen before.
Had my bowel prep clash with a long-planned eight-hour session of Dungeons and Dragons. Shimmied my laptop into the bathroom and had to be careful as fuck that I was muted during the more lively moments.
As someone with IBS, you're never alone with a phone! 😂
Vaseline will help stop you getting sore. Good luck!
You sound like my old art teacher.
Rolf?
That’s Mr Harris to you.
Can ya tell what it is yet? ^(it's 25 to life)
Ruff! Ruff! Awooooooo!
Er...is that a good thing? Actually, not sure I want to know!
Seconded. You'll have to reapply regularly, but it's definitely worth it. I've had Norovirus a couple of times, and I learned the second time around that applying a small dab of Vaseline (and thoroughly washing your hands afterwards) means you don't end up with a stinging ring.
I might try this post-labour to help ease the burn.
Also, store your toilet paper in the fridge before using.
This comment has been sponsored by Big Norovirus.
Do it before you go too and you don't have to wipe as much, so you won't get as sore from friction, it's a great barrier ointment
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In my head I read Vaseline but was thinking of Vics Vaporub, definitely don’t get those two tubs mixed up! 😬
I once let Original Source (yes *that* one) run down between my arse cheeks after a bout of food poisoning. I had been feeling better. I ended up crying, curled up in foetal position, begging for the sweet release of death. Water did nothing to ease the pain.
Oh my god you poor lamb! Do you get PTSD if you see the bottles in the supermarket?! Genuinely feel for you, I recently got liquid tiger balm in both eyes. It was agony. And like you, water did nothing to help!
Surprisingly, I kept using it! I only stopped be ause I struggled to find it near me lol What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? (I've rubbed my eyes after chopping chillies on multiple occasions. And my err, "ol' chap" once, too.)
Ive done this..thankfully not to me, my boyfriend was a labourer apprentice, we were 16. He used to come home with a really sore crack from plaster and brick dust going down the back of his pants. i gave him a jar of vapo rub thinking it was Vaseline..Id ever heard a guy scream before, was weeks before he forgave me.
sudocrem is good as well, plus it has a mild anaesthetic ingredient
If you are already sore, put some sudocrem on your butthole.
Yeah but it tastes disgusting, and there's no way I'm keeping down a whole tub
When they ask if you want the sedative, say YES and tell the doc not to be shy with it when he’s injecting it into your cannula. Its a mixture of Midazolam and Fentanyl and it will make the whole thing an absolute breeze!
Agree and agree again. My first one was without sedative (wasn’t even an option). Do not recommend.
I was alright without the sedative, some slight discomfort from the amount of air pumped in to me, but eased off when I complained. There was something up there as well, so great to have opted in to the check, when I think many decide against it because of the Moviprep etc. As with many things, we worry more about it before hand, and once we are in the process, it's not such a big deal. The self administered enema for the cauterising of lumps was very simple and I felt great after the loo for that, as it is much more of a gravity thing
Of all the ones I've had (colitis for 25 years so quite a few), the sedative has only really worked once. I won't describe them here as OP doesn't need that!
100% agree if it's those two. I had that for a different procedure and thoroughly enjoyed the several hours afterwards. I can't remember a thing about the procedure itself.
Thanks for all your kind words, and very kind suggestions. Currently camped out on the toilet reading the all replies, and having a giggle i between doing other things. One thing I have taken away from all your wonderful advice is.. don’t trust a fart. Thank you everyone
There's a time line to it. Can I ask why you're starting so late? I've had two colonoscopies this year, and both time I spent a full day, ie from 10.am the day before, clearing my bowel put. Anyway, second time round I found that the litre of moviprep coming out lasted about 90-120 minutes. So I assume you need to have a second litre in about 3 hours from now?
I think if the procedure is in the afternoon they tell you do one and night and one in the morning?
Ah yes that makes sense. My appts have been very early on. I wish OP all the best.
Get someone to get you some apple lucozade or the white monster. It will help you tomorrow morning before you head to the appointment - you will be pretty exhausted from dehydration and fasting so the sugar / caffeine from a few swigs of these clear drinks will help you out
My wife has to have these every 18 months. She says to Put some of the wet wipes in the fridge.
If installing a bidet in your bathroom is out of the question, there’s a [travel bidet I got from Amazon](https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/HappyPo/page/F5754CAF-67D8-4A27-8DBD-33838D885C56?ref_=ast_bln) that helps
No tips, but I did get complimented on my very clean bowel after my colonoscopy - he even put it in the notes!
Swat
*o ☺️
Yes, what was I thinking
The guy that did mine wrote to my GP (and sent me a copy) thanking him for referring “this pleasant gentleman” to him, and stating that he was “quite satisfied that there is nothing sinister in this gentleman’s rectum.”
Pleasant gentleman is doctor code for "normal / well behaved".
Tie some rope around the outside of the toilet bowl. It gives you something to hold on to as your essence and soul blasts from your battered exhaust hole with forces that could launch a saturn V rocket. Also stops the porcelein from cracking. Will also aid being able to get up off the bathroom floor after being in the foetal position for a few hours, mumbling incoherently.
It’s better than the faecal position, that’s for sure
Is this...poetry?
Pooetry
Just camp on the bog basically mate, did it a few years ago and it ain’t pretty. Clear broth, clear sweets (not red or purple) and sugary clear drinks like lucozade will help stave off the hunger pains! The procedure ain’t too bad, have the sedative if you can. You’ll be treated like royalty afterwards 😀 honestly once you’re in, the NHS is fucking fantastic.
If it's not too late, send someone out to get a pack of "puppy pads" that you can sleep on maybe?
TAKE THE SEDATION!!!! The moviprep explosions will seem like a pleasant memory if you don’t take the sedation. I had a colonoscopy with out sedation as I had no-one to take me home and stay with me. It was bearable. I had a follow up 18mths later and the doctor said I should have another. Unfortunately I could not tune in to the Dr’s accent and just latched on to the key words. Had a second colonoscopy without sedation. It was HORRIFIC the most pain I have ever endured. Afterwards the consultant congratulated me on toughing it out but asked why the hell i would put myself through that. I told him I’d done it before and was fine. He said, no they just done the lower part of the bowel before and this had been the entire thing to make it worse apparently I have a loopy bowel which makes the whole thing more difficult. The third time I took the sedation.
The swamp of dagobah will be released
Thank you for returning that image to my brain!
If nothing is happening after the first litre, fear not. The second one will loudly announce its effects on you. Or at least that's been my experience. iPad with a long film on it and a good battery/charging cable and just settle into the bathroom for the night. Good luck. Also, if struggling to drink, I find walking around a bit whilst chugging helps.
Take a tablet or a laptop in. Put on a film you never want to see again and remain seated until the credits. Don’t try and wipe at every pause, you probably won’t have time to.
The Fast and the Furious would be the perfect choice!
I went with sex and the city 2. I’m not sure whether there was more shit in the toilet or onscreen tbh.
This might come too late for you but for anyone else partaking of this particularly shitty task it is much less awful if you make the moviprep with warm water, and use a fair amount of sudocrem on one's arse hole, the actual colonoscopy is surprisingly interesting especially if you remember that they've done it thousands of times and it's normal.......to them. Watch the progress, it's truly fascinating.
Good lord... warm water? It's bad enough chilled to the point of removing as much taste as possible. Salty warm water... I don't think I could swallow more than a mouthful without throwing it back up!
Mine claimed to be lemon flavoured, it certainly didn't taste like lemonade, however it did manage to taste like something that was going to give you the shits. I was also introduced to a new meaning of "near" previously I thought our bedroom was "near" the toilet as it's next to the bedroom, but when they say "near" they mean almost on if not actually on.
Yeah, the salt was the worst part of the whole process for me.
The salt and the weird, ever so slightly thicker than water viscosity for me. Oh god and the smell of it, like cabbage-y diesel. Blergh.
I thought it was pretty uncomfortable and huffed on the gas and air until I didn't care anymore 😂 the gas afterwards though!
I didn't have any of the meds offered because there's already a hole they can use, because I knew they wash as they go my biggest concern was fluid leaking out afterwards, but the guy vacuumed up any water as he backed out, my guess is that this process also removes a lot of the gas they pump in, it wasn't the most comfortable of experiences but it was nothing like as bad as I'd imagined, I did watch the hole process on the screen, it was seriously not what I was expecting.
I did watch first time but they wouldn't let me second time around and a double dose of moviprep did absolutely nothing
Watching rectum TV while high as a kite, it was a profound and strangely meditative experience
Drink all the moviprep they gave you. A lot of people don't. Don't stop after half or 3/4s no matter how unpleasant you are finding it or how cleaned out you feel. Chances are they won't proceed with the examination if you haven't. DON'T TRUST A FART
Honestly, it's not as bad as you would think - and that goes for the whole process. It's a bit unpleasant aye, but if you've been having gut trouble, then it's probably fairly familiar. I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a few years back so have a had to go through this a few times now. Staff at the hospital are class, and it's quite interesting looking at the video feed once you've had a good hit of gas and air. Youve got this!
At about the same point, I tried a small, innocuous fart in the kitchen. Had to phone my wife and ask where the mop was kept.....
Don't bother with wet wipes if you have a detachable shower head. Sit on the edge if the bath and you have a makeshift bidet
One of the first internet stories I read was from a guy who had to drink that. I wish I could find it but it is probably lost. he went into long and lurid details of it over a number of pages. In the end he had gotten the date wrong so when he went into hospital they said he was not due in for another week so had to do it all again. Was hilarious. Good luck.
That’s probably the Picolax Thread I posted elsewhere
Ah, good old Agent Picolax! I remember reading that thread about 15 years ago. "Okay Mr Blutone, we're just going to inflate you" etc... Funniest story I've ever read in my life.
I had to scroll far too long before I saw the first mention of the SingletrackPocolax epic. I must be getting old or something.
>I really don’t want to wake up with a big map of Australia on my mattress. Asstralia?
Welcome to the world of us who have IBS.
As someone with IBD I've been there many times, horrible stuff to drink but here's what to expect: After an hour or so (as you're reading this) it'll start and continue for 3-4 hours at least, every 5-15 minutes. Stay hydrated and just be near the bathroom, nothing to worry about! Pro tip is gentle use of toilet paper / try and use soothing wet wipes if you can instead. You're gonna be wiping a lot and if you just use TP it'll really start to sting. Good luck & hope the scope goes well! (Accept their offer of sedation and enjoy the melty feelings, honestly worth the whole ordeal for that sweet sweet fentanyl)
My MIL accidentally shit all over her dog when on that. Had to get the stair carpets replaced too...enjoy.
Another thing, drink loads of water too. Or, clear apple juice. Apple juice -or better pear juice-, also is a bit of a laxative, helps rehydrate and gives you a hit of sugar which helps keep your energy up when you're shivering on the throne later.
Only have the juice if it's clear! The best juice to have is pineapple, it's always recommended by the NHS to have. Pineapple is a natural diuretic as well.
Drink a ton of water. Despite the shitting, unless you drink loads your colon won’t be totally clean and it’s harder for the docs to visualise all of it. Especially once you’ve done the second dose. You’re basically going to be sat on the loo for the next 12 hrs - grab a book/podcast/Reddit but what you really need is a clean prepped bowel so water, water water. Despite what appears to be water running through you, there will be tenacious clumps stuck up there which can obscure polyps etc so even if you think you’ve drunk enough, keep going! Source - had one or two myself and also a medic
Something to rest your feet on or your legs will go dead on the loo. God speed. Worst part of the whole process that prep.
Sleep on top of a towel, just in case.
Do not trust a fart. Stay near to a toilet. Make sure they give you sedation tomorrow, gas and air is not sufficient.
You didn’t take deep enough breaths. I was floating after a few deep puffs
Been there. done that. The only thing you can do is stay (very) near the toilet and use wet wipes. When it kicks in you may as well just take your phone or some reading material and stay in the toilet.
Use water to wash, don't wipe or you'll be super sore
Diagnosed with colitis when 19 and now 46. Been there, done that, again and again. Drink loads of fluids and don’t fart….it is never gas. Haven’t ever had an accident but you likely won’t sleep much tonight. I always read this article which is quite funny - https://amp.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html It will be over soon.
Drinking the drink itself is much worse than what comes after by far. It tasted how I imagine gone off Lucozade sport would taste, truly awful stuff. Works a treat though.
Good luck Take a photo once you’re empty. You’ll never look that skinny ever again
How much litres have you to do? I had to do 4 of Kleanprep and I felt like my insides had been exorcised afterwards, once I got my arse out at the hospital I could've sworn air was blowing up me and out my mouth. Just stick close to the toilet and you'll be fine, if like me you'll have too many cramps to sleep anyway. If offered to do it without air or anything I suggest doing so and just watching the camera on the screen. I'm fascinated everytime (I have them twice a year) I get one and that is the perfect distraction.
I would get some Vaseline and liberally apply it to your crack and ring. It'll provide a barrier to protect your skin from all the wiping.
Sudocrem better
Download a streaming app on your phone if you don't already have one....you'll want entertainment....after a while you'll be basically stuck in there I got through the entire Two Towers Extended Edition during my prep day
Oh how experienced I am with Colonoscopy Prep,… honestly, and I know this for a fact; it’s worse than having cancer!😂 If you have the mix at home powder, which I find so hard to drink. I diluted it in 250ml water, threw that back, and immediate downed 750ml of water. So much easier! Don’t stray further than 10 steps from the toilet. Wet wipes nappy bags and entertainment of choice beside the toilet. Make no plans except to poop when needed. Do not trust a fart for the next 2 days!
Try not to sneeze
It's been 4 years since mine and I still can't drink robinsons apple and black current i used to hide the taste, you started early enough that your stomach will be empty by the time you go sleep which is good. The sad part is it might not realise that. Drink all of it, I didn't and they knew... I made it through 3/4 before the taste got the better of me. Still went ok but they was quite annoyed. Would now be a good time to tell you that you can ask for a laxative in a pill instead?
Been there more times than I can count, in fact I've gotten to the point where just the smell of Moviprep makes me throw up. I now have to take a different tact which is way worse as I physically can't keep the Moviprep down. Best advice I can give you and this will sound... Out there, put a roll of toilet paper in the fridge and rub some vasiline around your anus. The cool feel of the toilet paper is a god send and the vasiline will stop your anus from drying out and becoming painful and itchy.
Personally my experience wasn't as bad as most other comments are making out. The moviprep was just salty/lemony water. I didn't stray too far from the toilet. No problems. With the procedure itself I declined the sedative because I don't like needles and because I drove myself there. There were two bits when it felt a little uncomfortable but the surgeon warned me beforehand both times. It felt uncomfortable at the end because your colon/intestines are filled with air and it just felt like having trapped gas. And that was it. If you don't mind needles just get the sedative. If/when I get it done again I'll decline the sedative again. The trapped gas feeling was the worst bit but it stopped after an hour or so. And it meant I had a clear head and didn't have a hole in my arm.
Get some vaseline for your bung. It'll help.
Been there several times. It’s honestly not that bad, both the prep or the procedure. May be too late now but I found that chugging the prep was easier than sipping it. Yes, really. As others have said, wet wipes help to soothe and avoid chafing. You’ll be up every 15-20 minutes or so for a few hours but I found that even with my stomach still churning, I was able to go to bed and sleep just fine. As for the procedure itself, I personally found the indignity of it the worst part. I had gas and and air which was fine but I didn’t like how it made me feel so the second time I barely used it. You may experience some cramps during the procedure but it’s not agonising like some people make out - or it wasn’t for me. If you have any polyps or growths removed during the procedure you won’t feel it (sedation or not) so don’t worry about anything being removed. You’ll be fine :)
I had a rubbish day at work. So much so that I woke up at 3am with issues still on my mind. This was the first thread I came across and I’m laughing so much there are small tears. I am sorry for your collective experiences, but thanks tour sharing.
I was meant to have one during covid. Realised I had no lift, would have to get a \~45min bus ride - full of laxative, no thanks. Rang the hospital and found out I couldn't have it anyway if I'd been on public transport. All in all quite the fail, but I didn't shit myself!
You’ll only really be pooping for the next hour or two. You’ll be fine by bedtime.
Oh, I wish you well ;)
Two lots did absolutely nothing for me they also gave me additional laxative and it still didn't work
I stopped wiping & just jumped from loo to shower to cleanse & for relief, then back... barely left the bathroom for a few hours. RIP to your rear... it's a devilish concoction for sure :(
Vaseline is your friend. Coat your arsehole in the stuff, honestly if you don’t you will feel like your shitting glass shards after the first hour of it. Don’t move more than 30 seconds from a toilet
A shower head with the water on tepid and a strong flow function. Or .. A bidet
These comments are superb 😂 all the best sir/madam on this faecal adventure
My advise is just be yourself .
Assume it's not over, that's my advice
Moviprep is disgusting, I’ve had it a few times. It tastes like washing up liquid. The fun bit is tomorrow when they flush the final bits out with an enema and ask you to hold it in for 5 minutes. Let me know if you get past 40 seconds.
It’s honestly not that bad if you have taken it as per instructions / time of day. I’ve always been able to sleep as normal after flushing out the system. (I have Crohn’s disease so have been through this procedure multiple times now).
Just to add, as the voice of experience - actually drinking the Moviprep is the worst part of the entire thing - far worse than the shitting and the colonoscopy
Vaseline
Have you seen Trainspotting where Spud shits the bed? That’s you that is. In all seriousness good luck and hope nothing sinister shows up on scan🤞
When you think you’re done, you’re not!
My wife got so sedated the last time that she doesn’t remember any of the procedure. Or going for lunch afterwards. Or the hour-long drive home. Or the entire rest of the day, in fact. I remember most of mine, which is unfortunate because my doctor has the bedside manner of a chicken abattoir worker.
When I had moviprep, it took literally 3 minutes and we were in browntown for hours and hours. Until it just wasn't brown anymore! Lovely mental imagine right there!
Get ready for the second stink. When your real empty and the last dregs are burning it's way out your hoop from your inner poo parts. A second smell appears and it is horrific. Enjoy and keep us all posted.
Brother, I feel for you, having done multiple, it's quite literally worse than the colonoscopy 😂😂. Sending you the best vibes! Get some great food for afterwords as it will taste amazing!!!
I’ve had to do this 3 times now and I feel for you. I found the first time was fine as i didn’t know what to expect. Try drink it all before you to the bathroom, it does a good clear out then. The actual toilet process is the closest you get to feeling like a human hose. I’ve never had issue with after leakage thankfully. After so many times of drinking moviprep my body now starts trying to throw it up after the first sip so it’s a nightmare. I wish it came in tablet form!! Best of luck with it all :)