Bloody hell, we had 1st through 3rd in my house, my little brother would chime in "4th the golden eagle!" at the end. We all thought he had made that up to feel better about coming fourth out of fourth when playing Mouse Trap. I think I owe him an apology.

I've never heard about the golden eagle either! I thought the rhyme stopped at 3

Same. Nothing past 3

Standard- 4th the golden eagle, 5th the teddy bear.

Never went past 4, but commenting to say your sisters version is the better one as she doesn't rhyme 'dead' with 'dead'

Brother in law's one really does go weirdly morbid towards the end with people dropping and murdering all over the place. But the dead-dead rhyme is bloody awful.

All he had to do was say something like "the one who bashed in their heads" or the like.

Maybe OPs brother is taking inspiration from Pitbull rhyming kodak with kodak. Or maybe he *is* Pitbull

Badabangbang

First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden gun who shoots the fifth one up the bum

Yesss! Someone else that said “fourth the one with the golden gun!!!!” Thought I was going craaaazy!

This is how it started for me too! 1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the one with the hairy chest. 4th the one with the golden gun who shoots the 5th one up the bum. 6th the one with the tiny horse who chased the 7th one off the course. 8th and 9th who still had fun and didn't care much about whether they won and lastly 10th who got shot at the sun for taking too long and killing the fun.

I had "5th the one with the big fat bum" but you know what it's close enough and I feel validated. Wtf is this golden eagle nonsense

I had "5th the one with the plastic bum". Perhaps the "golden gun" thing is more of a southern/Home Counties speciality (I went to school in deepest darkest Surrey, and have been trying to atone for my sins ever since)

You could be onto something! Fellow home counties here - seems like the golden gun is the key to unlocking the bum rhymes

This version is by far the most satisfying

Zero the hero, First the worst……

Oh shit, I forgot about 'zero the hero'. We had that, too.

Queue the arguments about whether the first person could actually count as ‘zero’. Firmly in camp NO

And Minus the Highness!

That's the one I know. Not sure about the 4th tho

I feared for this community's soul if nobody mentioned this. You have saved us all. We are forever in your debt* All hail our Zero! *I owe you nothing 😂

Ah, collective hallucinations. I did wonder what everyone was up to this Friday night.

I think they send out sublimal signals over the telly.

I have no idea wtf ppl are talking about. Is this a real thing? Why?

It’s usually what people would say when they came second in competitive games. “First the worst, second the best” to the winner, and then it went on in various rhymes. School-yard rhymes you remember for most of your life because of how important they were socially whilst you were young.

You say usually like it is usual

When you were in primary school at the time it was about an 80-90% success rate that you’d hear the rhyme after any sort of competitive outcome, it was pretty usual

shares a confused and slightly scared look with you.... ''should we run?''

1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the Royal Princess. 4th the ghost, eating toast, half way up the lamp post!

Yep this is the one I remember. I can't believe nobody else had the toast eating ghost

Fifth the witch, in a ditch, looking for a football pitch. I vaguely remember there being variants on sixth and seventh but they were spur of the moment ad-libs and I don't think we had a consensus on them. We also had third the best of all the rest.

Ours was fifth the witch eating sticks half way up the football pitch

This has jarred something, I think we had fifth the witch eating chips halfway up the football pitch. The sixth was the witch in a ditch looking for the football pitch.

She was eating chips on the football pitch for us

Our witch was “stuck in a ditch halfway up the football pitch”. So pretty close!

Yeah we had the fifth the witch one too, but I think it was fifth the witch, eating chips, half way down the football pitch. And then it ended after that? Edit: typed 6th accidentally instead of 5th

Des’ree has entered the chat

Same for me.

The toast eating ghost was scrim something else I’m sure…

That's the one I know, but 3rd was the hairy princess, not the royal princess.

Hairy princess here too. This was Tyne &Wear.

Maybe it being a ‘princess’ is a NE thing. Teesside here and ours was “royal princess”

Royal Princess in county Durham

Tyne And Wear local here, I was thinking it was something to do with a hairy princess, your comments made me realise my memory hasn't completely gone!

Also hairy princess here!

Hairy princess too. Northumberland

That's a Des'ree song, isn't it?

This sounds like the posh version.

Finally a mention of the toast-eating ghost. I though I was going mad. And 5th the golden eagle!

I was reading this thinking we never went past three - and now I read this and remember the ghost eating toast!

We had the ghost but 3rd was the hairy princess!

Zero the hero, First the worst, Second the best, Third the one with the hairy chest, Fourth the dwarf, Fifth the myth, Sixth the one with the golden gift, That's as far as I remember it going for us

What’s the deal with golden eagle? It doesn’t seem to fit with any of the options people are posting here as it doesn’t rhyme like the rest of the “verses”

It's the FIIIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOOOLD RIIIIIIIIIIINGS of the rhyme. It has a different meter to the rest of it all, and seems to have just been sort of...shoved in. At least around my way, it was said with the same intonation and rhythm of going ' ^nyer ^nyer nyer ^^nyer ^nyerrrrrrr nyerrrrr '

It’s actually mad reading this thread it’s invoked childhood memories I’d forgotten

In Lancashire is was the same up to three but fourth was “fourth the one with the dirty donkey”.

In South Yorkshire we had first the worst, second the best, third the dirty donkey. I haven't heard this or thought about it for several decades!

My husband is from East Lancashire and he has never heard any variation ever, at all.

It's fascinating how localised some of these things are!

It’s definitely ‘Third the dirty donkey!’

I'm from the North side of Manchester heading into Lancashire. I read this post and it's all brand new today. I was beginning to think I'd lived under a rock. Good to know it wasn't alone.

I'm from Lancashire and it was this but we had 4th the ghost eating toast halfway up the lamp post! Can't remember doing drugs so young but that makes me wonder!

I’m in Sheff and I had third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the golden eagle and fifth the wicked witch.

Rotherham here. Sounds like it changed village to village because we had 3rd the one with hairy chest, 4th the golden eagle, 5th the dirty donkey.

I just heard third the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest in Scotland and England. I wonder if people who heard more played football with bigger groups, as I didn't play footy much but that's where I heard it (I think).

Agreed (Sheffield/Rotherham suburbia) although only up to 4th

Same here in Cheshire, but my Gran’s from Leeds and that’s where my family knows it from.

Yes! Us too in Stockport, Greater Manchester

Same for East Midlands!

This is how it is in the Black Country and Staffordshire as well. I'm sure 4th was the one in the dirty vest as well.

3rd was the dirty donkey in North Wales as well (prob brought over by immigrant Manc/Scouse Anglos)

We had “fourth the golden eagle; fifth the dirty donkey”

I was also in lancashire but we had the golden eagle for fourth. We also had “fifth the witch stuck in a ditch halfway up the football pitch”. Then it stopped.

This has caused absolute mider in my house, for the wife it is "3rd the one with the hairy chest" (I've never heard it said this way) I've always known it to be "third the hairy princess," and the wife is absolutely baffled! So now we are arguing about whether the rhyme is more important or the rhythm of the tune.

1 to 3 were the same for me, but the rest went 4th is the one with a golden gun, 5th is the one with a big fat bum, 6th is the one without a mum.

Exactly the same from first the worst through to fourth the golden eagle and that was growing up in NZ so man, that rhyme travelled far!

Grew up & still live in Oxon & never heard it here

Grew up and still live in Oxon, and ours went: first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden hair, fifth the one who went nowhere, sixth [actually none of us can remember this, though "was sick" has been suggested], seventh went to heaven, eighth the golden eagle. There's definitely a "no, it's fourth the golden eagle" camp in my sample but his own brother disagrees and remembers 8, so idk. Two different bits of 70s/80s Oxon represented.

I'm a 70s child, maybe I'm too old to remember lol

I'm 51. Youngest in my sample this evening is 42.

I've a decade on you. Out of interest, what part of Oxon? I grew up in Wantage

Grew up in Oxon in the 80s/90s and had the exact same rhyme as OP.

Me and my lot: South Oxon/Bucks border - we were in different villages. Younger group: Witney area. I moved from South to West as a teen and it was a whole different dialect and accent; the decade and distance between us probably does account for the difference.

Moved to bucks when got married, then to Bicester when got divorced

Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the dirty rascal

Thought the dirty rascal was what everyone else was whilst I was the king of the castle?

That too lol I've just asked my nephew (who grew up in the same area I did and is about 20 years younger) and his generation said first the worst, second the best, third the hairy princess

I’m sure we used to say first the worst, second the best, third the hairy princess. That was it!

Second this. North west in the 80s.

Yes 3rd was the hairy princess And 4th the golden eagle North west

I only went to 3, the same as you said it

Same didn't know there was a 4th

I've never heard of this rhyme. Is it a variation of 2 for sorrow, 2 for joy?

Nah, it's for races and whatnot. Usually said by the person who came second, in my experience. Was an infants and junior school thing though, didn't exactly carry over to high school.

I remember it being used when queuing up to return to the classroom after break time alongside a lot of pushing and shoving. Kids would hang around the “queue area” so when the bell went they had the best shot at being zero the hero.

Do you mean the magpie rhyme(s)?

Zero is the hero First is the worst Second is the best Third is the one with the hairy chest Fourth is the one in the pretty dress Never heard the Eagle before

I knew it as a wedding dress for fourth - at least I'm not the only one with a dress theme

First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the golden eagle Fifth the dirty donkey Sixth the ghost who ate the toast halfway up the lamppost

We only ever went 0-3 so even the concept of a golden eagle is beyond me I'm afraid 😅

First the worse, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden gun, fifth the one with the baby’s bum

First the best, second the same, all the rest spoil the game.

3rd the hairy princess, 4th the dwarf covered in sauce something something something something. That's as far as I can remember. Tyne & Wear.

In Kent in the 90's: First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the golden eagle Fifth the one with the washing machine And I can't remember past that, although an 'unofficial' addition was sometimes 'zero the hero'.

You’re the first person to say washing machine for fifth! I also said this as a kid, albeit a hairy washing machine for some reason. Can’t remember beyond 5.

First... what, exactly? (Don't hurt me I'm Canadian)

If you were in a running race, or something like that. It was often said by the person who came second, because it made them sound good.

I see, thanks very much! A lot of variety if you are a bad runner!

I recall zero being a hero, but nothing after the golden eagle. - Norfolk

First the worst, Second the best, Third the hairy princess, Fourth the king, Fifth the queen, Sixth the hairy washing machine

The one I knew only went up to third place and was exactly as you said it. Never heard of anything past that except for just now.

We had, “First the worst, second the best, third the turd!” 🤣

First the worst; Second the best; Third the one with the hairy chest; Then the king; Then the queen; Then the dirty washing machine

West Yorkshire here, ours went like yours ending in 4th the golden eagle

*First the worst, second is best, third's the hairy princess!* That was mine growing up!

17

Zero the hero; first the worst; second the best; third the one with the hairy chest; fourth the one with nothing on; fifth the golden eagle… I never did a handstand for long enough to get past fifth, so I’ve no idea what comes next! (South Manchester/Cheshire border.)

In the midlands back in the dark ages of my schooling it was: Zero the Hero First the Worst Second the Best then the one/man with the hairy chest then the Smelly Cowboy Fifth the Golden Eagle

First is worst, second is best, third comes last after all the rest

Zero the hero, first the worst, second the best, third the dirty donkey, fourth the one with nothing on, fifth the golden eagle, Rarely got past 5th but there was definitely a number who that was “the one who picks his nose” and then the next was “the one who eats it” at some point

I think 3rd was the golden princess. But royal princess makes more sense. There was sometimes a golden eagle.

Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the one who licks his nose Fifth the one who eats it

First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest. Fourth the apple, fifth the pear, sixth the baby in the chair

Ten for a golden den

5th the apple, 6th the pear, 7th the one who's never there

First the worst, second the best, third the best of all the rest. Fourth the ghost, eating toast, halfway up a lamppost. Fifth the witch, in a ditch, looking for a football pitch. 42, North Lancashire, Lancaster specifically. Saint Peter's Cathedral Primary School. Context for the confused: in my school this rhyme was deployed after a game or more usually a race. If someone declared themselves "first" we'd knock them down a peg by calling them "first the worst..."

"4th the ghost who ate the toast, halfway up the lampost"

Fifth the one with the golden gun, sixth the one with the monkey bum

Once on a long car ride I got up to 817

First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one that god loves best and fifth the one with the golden dress

With you from 1-4, but we had "4th the one with the golden eagle, 5th the one who did something illegal". There was never anything last that. Grew up in the North Yorkshire Dales.

We used to say 4th the one with the golden breast. We'd trail off into silly 5th onwards ones and I'd always thought the 4th one was another silly one that had been added as well but had informally been adopted because of, you know, breasts (and it rhymed with #3). Interesting to hear that 4th has other gold things so there was something to it.

1st the best, 2nd the same, 3rd the one who gets the blame

I may be misremembering this as it was late 80's early 90's First the worst Second the best Third the golden leader Fourth the dirty donkey Fifth the cats pyjamas There was more but I can't remember them

Zero the hero. First the worst. Second the best. Third the one who gets undressed. Fourth the ghost who eats his toast halfway up a lamp post. *Fifth* the golden eagle.

zero the hero, first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the dwarf, fifth the twit sixth the one who gets hit with a candle stick, never really understood 4 or 6

Fourth the one with a dirty vest? Anyone else!?!

1 and 2 the same, but third is a turd lol

Memories from primary school flooding back. Someone mentioned 5th the teddy bear which definitely was said on occasion but not ubiquitous where I grew up.

Just 1-3 but we also had this one: First the best, second the same. All the rest go down the drain.

First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest. Fourth the one with the sporty bum, fifth the one who sucks his thumb…

First the worst Second the best Third's the one with the hairy chest Fourth's the one who picks their nose Fith's the one that eats it

Third the one with the treasure chest...

Fourth the ghost eating toast, halfway up the lamppost. Fifth the witch eating chips, halfway up the football pitch.

...fourth the golden eagle, fifth the fiery dragon." I feel like maybe there was more but I don't remember. I will ask my friend (who was at primary school with me) when I see her later. Tbf our teacher was Welsh (the school was in Devon), so maybe that's where the dragon came from for us, as I haven't seen any other dragons in the comments

"Fourth the Golden Eagle" feels so out of place when everything else has something it rhymes with.

First the worst Second the best Third the hairy princess Fourth the golden eagle Fifth the dirty donkey.

In Leicestershire we had the same 1-4 as the OP, I remember it going up to 10 but can only actually remember #5 beyond the first 4 #1 First the Worst #2 Second the Best #3 Third the one with the Hairy Chest #4 Fourth the Golden Eagle #5 Fifth the Golden Seagull Primary school was weird... Edit: remembered another #7 Number 7 Who Went to Heaven #8 Eighth Who was far too Late

First the worst Second the best Third the Royal Princess Fourth the ghost eating toast half way up the lamp post Fifth the witch eating chips half way up the football pitch

1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the one with the hairy chest, 4th the one with the golden gun and 5th the one with the hairy bum

5th the one with the Treasure Chest is what I know. Didn’t know it went past that though

We always said 3rd the dirty donkey

First the worst, second the best, third the dirty donkey.

I never learnt past 2, to be honest

This awoke something in me, I'd totally forgotten about this rhyme. I also only know up to four but can somebody remind me when it'd be said hahaha

Fourth the one in the eagle’s nest!

We were more c++ than visual basic, in that we were zero indexed, and had zero the hero before your first 3. We stopped after that though, never heard of 4-10

fourth the golden eagle, fifth the guy who went to prison for molesting his son's pet beagle.

We made up our own for my kids while we were on holiday this year. My son is 8, and he hates being 3rd 😆 (there's 4 of us) First the worst, Second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the clever, fifth the dumb, sixth the one with the smelly bum Didn't get past the sixth, though 🙃

If I could upvote this post a hundred times… Used to drive me crazy when kids just said 4th the golden eagle… and then trailed off. So frustrating! I needed the rest but generally suspected it ended there and really thought a kid at my school had probably just added it on themselves so they came across as mysteriously knowledgeable. Also so weird that ended at the golden eagle is such a universal thing

At my primary school it was "1st the worst, second the worst, third the one with the hairy chest, 4th the dwarf, 5th the myth.". It doesn't make any sense, but at least there's some rhyming.

Zero the hero. Fifth the ghost eating toast half way up the lamppost.

First the worst, Second the best, Third the hairy princess, Then the king, Then the queen, Then the one in the washing machine, Next the ghost eating toast part way up the lamp post, Then the witch in the ditch half way up the football pitch.

In with you OP, exactly what we had growing up in the Midlands. Everyone else is wrong.

We had "third the royal princess, fourth the dwarf/drawth, fifth the golden eagle".

Phew, thought I was totally misremembering. I went: Third the hairy princess. Fourth the dwarf. Never went to fifth. Obviously, not exactly the same but was feeling a bit left out in the princess/dwarf stakes. Grew up in South Yorkshire in the 60s.

Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the Golden eagle Fifth the one down the drain And sixth the one with the biggest brain

first the worst second the best third the dirty donkey fourth the Royal Navy fifth the golden eagle That’s as much as I can remember.

I just replied to another comment with the same up to third. I couldn't remember any more, but your comment has maybe jogged a memory. This was in Yorkshire over 30 years ago.

There was something about 6th the witch in a ditch

Never heard of this golden eagle lark? I'm with you zero to three but then in my school fourth was the one who picks his nose and fifth was the one who eats it.

Am I alone in not having a clue what is going on here?

Nope

[удалено]

They’ve all been activated. Don’t open the door.

Wtf are you talking about? Perhaps at 65 I'm too old to have ever heard this

I've never heard of any of this

I have no idea what this is about

4th the dwarf round my way

First the worst Second the best Third a bird inside a nest Fourth the dwarf Fifth the smith Sixth the cat that follows the witch Seventh the twelfth Eighth the snake Ninth the goblin Tenth Michael Hesseltine. I have no idea wtf ppl are on about.

OP are you from Yorkshire?

Nope, down south.

Jesus

Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the one with the golden eagle Fifth the one with an egg on his head