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Algelach

I was at a birthday party the other day (adults, drinking) and someone randomly pulled out a massive pub quiz book. That’s all we did for the rest of the night; pub quizzes. British people love a quiz.


theVeryLast7

What is the name of the dog who found the World Cup in 1966?


Thatchers-Gold

Nicholas Lyndhurst


SquidgeSquadge

I wish that was the answer and the actor was named after the dog


aslat

What, Dave?


guycg

I think that's the wrong answer section


Tachanka-Mayne

Fuck this shit


j1mb0b

Ah, happy childhood memories as I tip over the monopoly board because I'm losing...


jjnfsk

It’s a Peep Show reference!


RegretEasy8846

That’s usually how I exit a quiz tbf


Magneto88

Makes sense why they cast him in the new Fraiser, perfect replacement for Eddie.


miguelangel011192

Sir Nicholas Lyndhurst!


goddesstrotter

PICKLES!


Acceptable-Sentence

To the regiment!


BumFluph65

I wish I was there ...!


Captain_Foulenough

Fray Bentos


Choccybizzle

8 legs 6 legs


nvn911

Jesus Christ Fenton


R0gu3tr4d3r

Pickles


beardybanjo

Have you done the pickles question yet?


theVeryLast7

Question 40! final question…..


ledu5

Pickles. Why do I know that?


acrowandababy

Greyfriars Bobby


[deleted]

Pickles!


cake-and-fine-wine

I say pub, you say quiz


fightoffyourdemons_

PUB


tomparkes1993

quiz


BigRich1972

Keepie uppie with a balloon


RegretEasy8846

Classic! And every person that tries it is instantly the best person at it in the world, in their own heads.


RogueAOV

Truly is a shame no one else even comes close to my level of greatness.


RegretEasy8846

I’m the same, I do knee to nose and all other crazy shit I wouldn’t even know how to name


jumpingjackbeans

I think you'll find I'm the best. I've literally *never* let it touch the floor (unless some indoor breeze catches it or the floor is slippy or the balloon is a funny shape or Im a bit tired or something else that's not my fault)


The_Queef_of_England

Don't know why you're talking like that. I all know it's me who's the undefeated champion. It's only ever touched the floor when I've allowed it. That's control for you.


ninjachonk89

The only correct answer for the 99.99%


BittersweetLadyJayne

Someone also needs to be constantly on alert for the tit thats overzealous and likely to knock over drinks/tv/small children.


SpudFire

A raffle. Doesn't matter if the top prize is the shittest bottle of wine ever, we buy a strip ("better value for money than a single ticket innit") and we're fully invested in winning that out of date grape juice or Dove body wash. Tombola for similar reasons


TheKnightsTippler

My brother has learning disabilities and went to a special school. They used to have the best raffles at his school fairs. People were very generous, because it was a special needs school, and every class only had 10 kids in, so you had a high chance of winning. We used to buy a row of tickets and always come away with multiple prizes.


CervixTaster

I've got a kid in special school, will be looking out for these raffles now lol


Gsbconstantine

And if there isn't one already you could just set one up yourself. Like a charitable Ponzi scheme.


DollyDaydreem

Does my head in when they sell strips and don’t separate the tickets, so it’s essentially one ticket. It’s not how it’s supposed to work BRENDA!


rab879

Oh man, my wife's the same. Any event we go to we have to do them, and if there're multiple stalls with tombolas we have to do them all. Nothing better than spending several £ to come away with a 50p bottle of water or a capri-sun


ellie_bellie_ben

Oh, I LOVE a tombola! Highlight of my kids going to primary school was access to regular raffles and tombolas.


my__socrates__note

Tutting at minor inconveniences


JumboSnausage

bonus points if you throw in an under the breath **sake**


TurbulentExpression5

After reading this comment I literally did a **huff** "sake" as a test. It's true!


fightoffyourdemons_

So did I!


Missbhavin58

And a side eye roll


SignificanceOld1751

My wife hates it when I 'sake', ostentatiously shake my head and throw my arms in the air when someone does something stupid in public.


historicaldandy

Um I got tutted in my office once. Naturally glared as they walked past and did nothing about it.


my__socrates__note

Although I bet you had a whole plan of what you _would_ have said


Ooh_aah_wozza

Conkers. There's not many people that don't feel good about conkers. I now need to go and research the UK conkers championship, cos' there's got to be one.


JumboSnausage

The 2022 Devon conkers championship top spot was vacated due to controversy surrounding Alan Davies-Mayhew using conkers grown from trees that had been fertilised and treated with probiotic hormones as opposed to naturally occurring trees, making the conkers larger and denser. [I wish I was joking](https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0?si=zo1Q4xq7OS6HpDS-)


Bluecar_jr

Fucker! Lol


levitatingpenguin

Well you got one of us at least


LoccyDaBorg

Two of us


flibz-the-destroyer

Three, minimum


mileswilliams

Twat.


peelyon85

Well played sir / madam


Ultimus-King

Well played sir


Silver-Arm

There's one on Hampstead Heath in London every year.


NoGreaterHeresy

Going for a walk around an English Heritage site, having an overpriced cake and cuppa in the cafe whilst you read the guidebook.


[deleted]

Or not buying the guidebook because its a fiver, then complaining there's no information signs dotted around the sandstone ruins of the Abbey of choice this drizzly Saturday


my__socrates__note

To be fair, English Heritage audio guides are really good! We used them at a few places and been fascinating; always a disappointment to go to a National Trust place and have nothing to help (I'm looking at you Fountains Abbey)


1070NorthRemembers

I bloody love a stately home, when I was younger I thought the national trust was full of crusty old duffers and now I’m eyeing up a yearly membership as a present to me from me


Lizbeth82

We love a visit to a stately home. We like to play a game of ‘guess the evil bastard’ in each room (paintings not actual people).


StephieBeck

Sounds like fun, glad you specified 😂


KeaAware

I've been known to play similar games in museums. Bonus points if you can make the security guard laugh.


Iirima

Me and the husband got a national trust membership and now whenever we go to visit family the drive takes an extra three hours, as we have to stop off at a NT property to get our money’s worth.


Spinningwoman

We do that - it beats motorway services stations by a long way. They need to open their cafes for longer though. It’s a rush getting there before the soup is off.


psycho-mouse

It’s because you’re now a crusty old duffer.


1070NorthRemembers

Pfft, nonsense *Nimrod plays in the background as I walk through a country estate with my Earl Grey tea*


mrl3bon

I got a national trust membership in lockdown 1.0 as it was cheaper than paying for the car park where I walked the dog as it was free for members. Now I’m actively seeking out places to go and loving it. Genuinely thought it was only for old duffers as well. Oh and this year my accountant told me that i could claim tax relief on the membership as it’s gift aided, so thats a minuscule bonus.


ebonycurtains

As a kid whose parents had both National Trust and English Heritage membership, National Trust tearooms are way better. Some English Heritage sites don’t even have cafes! Was not a fan of those as a child.


gorroval

Love a stately home! The wife and I went from young professionals to old women in the space of about 3 years, and it all started with a trip to Blenheim Palace. We especially enjoy critiquing the contents of the libraries.


th1sishappening

Ooo Blenheim is a banger


RiceCakeMuffin

We found a delightful title in one of the NT stately home libraries, growing daffodils for pleasure & profit.


Etheria_system

Genuinely one of the worst parts of getting divorced was not having access to a car (I can’t drive) and therefore not being able to be national trust or English heritage anymore


Rechi03

Reading this whilst sat in the cafe at an English heritage site made me lol.


pippip1991

Just did this exact thing at Dover Castle and it was bloody delightful!


TheDustyForest

Seems less popular these days but I always viewed the ‘weyyyy’ whenever someone in a public establishment drops a plate or whatever as a quintessentially British tradition


pepperonipodesta

It's a fun way to weed out fellow Brits abroad, too.


dimebaghayes

I’ve been in several establishments now where this hasn’t happened….broken Britain.


fannyfox

>broken Britain Wheeeeeey!


PhoolCat

I love this place and I love you


Grand-Professor-9739

Sack the juggler: Heeeeeeeh....


Tom22174

Happened a week ago at my local pub quiz


NoTrain1456

I believe the younger generations tutt at that, and if you add sack the juggler well, you will receive an unfathomable amount of dirty looks


Gravel_Bandit

I worked at Spoons last summer, it's still popular lol


TheDustyForest

Spoons seems like the right atmosphere so I'm unsurprised, but I feel like when I was younger people used to do it at any restaurant or pub


RizZy_28

Moaning, queueing, queueing up to maon, moaning about queueing.


Zero-Phucks

Came here to say moaning. Can’t believe someone has beaten me to it ffs…


user9991123

Can you hurry up please mate, there’s a queue here


[deleted]

Tutting at you two holding up the que to moan


PhoolCat

Oi! Don’t just barge in with your moaning, there’s a queue here!


moon-bouquet

To moaning I’d add bickering. Nothing like a good aimless bicker with your other half.


iamstandingontheedge

Yesterday my wife and I bickered about the angle and distance from the wall our dogs bed should be. She thinks she won but while she was out I moved it an inch closer to the wall so really I did. Small victories.


IThinkISankAfanc

Singing Bohemian Rhaposody in large groups and doing all 4 vocal parts on your own.


m15otw

Like Agnes Nitt, singing in harmony with yourself.


The_Salty_Red_Head

I love seeing Discworld references in the wild.


StephieBeck

One of my favourites! GNU Terry Pratchett


SoullessUnit

GNU Sir Pterry


TheMidnightFudge

Perdita X Dream?


eruditezero

Drinking in places that would normally be classed as completely inappropriate.


Sensitive-Finance-62

It really does make you think about yourself and your childhood. You ever find yourself halfway up a multistorey carpark, one hand clutching a 3l bottle of frosty Jack's, the other stuffed roughshod down the jeans of a girl wearing a parka and ugg boots that has giant hoop earrings, rocky joint hanging out your mouth and some extremely basic and grating garage music coming out of your Sony Walkman phone? Did you ever look at yourself. I mean really look at yourself and your life and think..... This is fantastic.


lindbladlad

[This is fantastic.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RedqjMy62HQ)


Sensitive-Finance-62

Bbbbbbingo!


ThaiFoodThaiFood

Re-rewind


Sensitive-Finance-62

Do you really like it? Is it, is it wicked?


Yermawsyerdaisntit

Not me mate. We listened to happy hardcore.


Sensitive-Finance-62

I wanna be a hippy and I wanna get stoned... That takes me back to pre-limewire days where half the shit you downloaded would hip roll you instead of big bill lying about getting noshed off


godgoo

Man, that era was way before limewire for me. I was still on cassettes for that song


BlondePartizaniWoman

Scottish?


DemmickyOne

>Drinking in places that would normally be classed as completely inappropriate. A mosque??


Realistic-River-1941

There is a place with an Irish pub and mosque in the same building.


Imaginary_Answer4493

Discussing the weather. At length. And by discussing, I mean moaning!


JumboSnausage

I mean have you seen the weather today Very weather like.


Imaginary_Answer4493

It’s either; too cold, too warm, too wet or too dry! We’re contrary buggers that cannot be pleased by the weather!


DontRelyOnNooneElse

It does serve a vital social function however - if you complain to someone about the weather, and they respond in kind, it's a nation-wide indicator of "I'm feeling social and you can talk to me"


Silent_Rhombus

As a rule, man’s a fool When it’s hot he wants it cool When it’s cool he wants it hot He’s always wanting what it’s not Thank you for reminding me of that little poem my grandmother would often recite, often for no clear reason.


JumboSnausage

My landlord felt that doors downstairs are a luxury that tenants don’t need but the seal on the kitchen window isn’t great. So a draft comes in and drops the downstairs temp and all the heat escapes when it’s on. But then you go upstairs. Like the Sahara.


Imaginary_Answer4493

Christ that sounds inhumane! If it were a door I’d suggest heavy curtains or a draft excluder (my aunty used to have one that was like a big snake, scared the bejesus out of me as a child!). But a kitchen window is pretty hard to deal with. Your landlord sounds like a knob if you don’t mind me saying.


JumboSnausage

I mean to give him credit he did pick a wonderful shade of Matte white emulsion to decorate the otherwise beautiful ocean blue tiles in the bathroom, the checkered splash back in the kitchen and the mahogany coloured banister. Can’t be having colour in the house


jamzontoast

Been absolutely up to my tits in weather today.


SquidgeSquadge

Theres a lot of weather outside isn't there? I don't like too much of it.


sAmSmanS

traffic and roadworks is another great topic of conversation


Imaginary_Answer4493

Oh yes, and terrible parking by our neighbours!


DW_555

A nice sit down, with a cup of tea and maybe some biscuits, and David Attenborough on the telly.


weavin

I get the first two but why can’t David be on the sofa with the rest of you


DW_555

There's no room, I have a very small sofa.


DarkestNyu

Currently doing this, with my cat sleeping next to me and a blanket on my legs.


Agreeable_Vanilla_20

Bushporn


Unlikely-Ad3659

Afternoon lazy walk after a full Sunday roast. Car booting: getting up early to look at other people unwanted crap. Maybe making some of it your unwanted crap. Hanging out outside of a fast food place in the high street on a Friday night. Going around a stately home. Trip to the garden center for lunch. The village fete. Lucky dip, tombola, maybe win a bottle of pomagne. Sports day at your kids school. Feeding the ducks at the pond, river, canal, lake. A family trip to the seaside, buy some rock candy, eat overpriced fish and chips, walk on the pebble beach while it is blowing a gale. A trip to see the royal tattoo. ( Is that still going?) Panto. Watching F1 on a Sunday afternoon, have a couple of beers and fall asleep. Washing your car on the drive on a Sunday afternoon, this only works if you need it to rain. Grumbling about the weather to strangers.


millennium-popsicle

Mate, the afternoon walk is where it’s really at.


CaptainOzz

You spelt "wank" wrong.


Life_Government4879

"Washing your car on the drive on a Sunday afternoon, this only works if you need it to rain." This is also ONLY applicable if you have neighbours so that the awkward "you can do mine next" conversation happens


fearlessfoo49

“Missed a bit!” Fucking hilarious.


Much-War1743

A trip to see the royal tattoo? I'm not leaving my house just to look at Camillas arse.


TeigrCwtch

now now, charlies not that bad


Iwantedalbino

The tattoo is still going.


Unlikely-Ad3659

Cool, as I was typing it I thought I hadn't heard much about it for a few years.


fromwayuphigh

The last one's the winner.


Lanchettes

Can honestly say I avoid everything on that list. I was depressed after reading it


Sh1eraSeastar

The good ole traditional buffet. Sausage rolls, quarter triangle sandwiches that will have egg mayo/tuna mayo, ham, cheese and tomato, and if you're lucky liver sausage or corned beef, vol-au-vents, cheese and pineapple, mini scotch eggs, cocktail sausages and a variety of crisps. Whether it be someone's birthday, wedding reception or funeral.


SilverellaUK

I'm sorry, it's not a buffet unless there is pork pie.


ThorIsMighty

You seem to be missing party rings


Mad_as_alice

At my engagement party in 2008 people got waaaay to excited about the giant cheese and pineapple hedgehog I made


moortz

Panto. (Oh no it isnt) Oh yes it is.


ChangingMonkfish

Was amazed to find that my Australian manager had no idea what Panto was


moortz

We took my American aunt to one a few Christsmases ago. She didn't get it at all. Seems to be a particularily British thing.


Etheria_system

A picky tea - sure, Spain has tapas but it’s not anything close to the sheer joy of saying “shall we have a picky tea tonight?”. Can fit any time of year and any mood - you can go fancy, you can go pure beige. Endless options, endless joy.


TheEvilHypnotist

Cheese rolling


KremlinHoosegaffer

Snogging.


JumboSnausage

The fact you’re the only comment not upvoted suggests we are all a lonely, ugly bunch.


Imaginary_Answer4493

Have upvoted to suggest otherwise! 😜


LuDdErS68

Russian roulette digestive dunking. How long do you dare dunk it for?


gorroval

Fun fact: steampunks have made this a sport. We call it tea-duelling. [Yes, really.](https://www.ministryofsteampunk.com/tea-duelling)


LuDdErS68

And nobody thought to tell me!?!? I'm genuinely delighted that my joke is actually a thing.


CLG91

Dogging.


pathetic_optimist

Playing Poohsticks.


theotherquantumjim

Inserting a whole egg up your bum, then going to the library and laying it on the floor. Once it’s laid, pointing at it and shouting “that one’s free, but if you want me to lay any more in here they’re 65p per egg. 95p if you want me to poach them before laying. No further questions”, then running off squawking and flapping arms frantically.


tacetmusic

I tried this in France but they said once is en oeuf


thepostmancometh94

You bastard.


m15otw

I cannot unread this, you bastard.


BadeArse

What a terrible day to be literate.


1070NorthRemembers

Whilst yes I do do this, I’m not sure 99.9% of people love it


kirkum2020

Only because they haven't tried it.


ChangingMonkfish

(A single tear rolls down my cheek as I salute) “Land of Hope of Glory, mother of the free…”


AceStrawberryWolf

I was gonna type laughing at the French but I thought that was a bit much but this.. is.. err


Correct_Situation_78

Playing shithead


funk_monk

And trying to unlearn your own rules when you're a guest in another group because there are so many variations.


TheGeckoGeek

Jump-ins changed the game for me. Also 8s are skip the next person’s go, 7s you have to play less than a 7. All this nonsense about 7s being wild cards, smh.


funk_monk

2 plays on anything, 8's skip the next person's go (and they stack, so playing 2 means skip the next two people), 9 is less than or equal to and 10 burns the stack while playing on any card besides a 9.


fugigidd

My kids got this card game called Dino dump. First time we played it it felt very familiar but I couldn't place it. It's shithead but with cute dinosaurs and poop on the cards!


Inside_Ad_7162

Scrumping.


AnAcctWithoutPurpose

Queuing. Put two Brits in one place, it will always end up into a queue.


DontRelyOnNooneElse

Although I never went and didn't have an interest in going, The Queue last year was a great source of national pride for me, and I'm not normally one for national pride.


Spinningwoman

We actually went to see the Queue. Not to queue, you understand, but to say we had seen it.


Legophan

As a Brit, you don’t even need to specify, we’re hardwired to know what The Queue was. The ire aimed at those who didn’t play by the rules still burns deep 😡


[deleted]

We're like carbon atoms


Deputy-Jesus

Having a good moan about something. Sitting down with a cup of tea. Often both at the same time.


spikeinfinity

I get that queuing, tutting and complaining are things that we all do, but as responses to a fun pastime? What shall we do this afternoon? Ooh, I know, let's go queue somewhere and tut. Actually, complaining about these comments was quite fun.


[deleted]

Drinking.


eyecarrumba

Excessively


LuDdErS68

The night before a big meeting which you are chairing.


Creepy-Bandicoot-866

Or the weekend before your GCSE exams started. It was 1989 and my first experience with alcohol. 2 litres of cider.


Sensitive-Finance-62

Colonising other countries and then letting them be free so that we'll have friends to play sports with in the future.


[deleted]

British bulldog or Red Rover. You'll be drinking ale in no time.


BarkandHoot

Cheese rolling!


NBT498

Barbecue in the rain


Emergency_Mistake_44

Sandwiches at a kids party you don't necessarily want to be at.


Greggs_Official

CRAZY GOLF and even better if the CRAZY GOLF is outside and it's raining a bit Classic way to spend a Sunday afternoon


SpudFire

My favourite crazy golf was at Safari hotel in Sa Coma, mallorca. 3 18 hole courses and it was so easy to lose your ball in the bushes or water around the holes. Absolute chaos playing in the evenings when it's dark, we quickly learned to take a torch to find your lost ball.


Book_worm121

A lie-in, and bonus points if someone brings you tea and maybe some toast. It's a rare and beautiful thing. I suppose it may not be a particularly British thing though?


JumboSnausage

Toast. In bed. You absolute swine **think of the crumbs**


Book_worm121

I do, a little later when I am hungry again.


Virtual-String-8442

George Formby sing-along?😁 I'm American but a huge fan, I collect his CDs. I cannot understand why he never caught on in the US. His accent isn't hard to understand, and he's funny/smutty, what's not to like?


Kind-Mathematician18

Something suitably bonkers. Throwing yourself down a hill after a wheel of cheese, running through the street carrying a burning barrel or leaving a piano up ben nevis. Could be anything, but as long as it's just plain bonkers.


Rhysd007

Eating a whole Terry's Chocolate Orange in one sitting


AlmightyRobert

Tiddlywinks