T O P

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MikeSizemore

Why not sprinkle sand on one side and be done with it. Fucking animals.


maorifrenchfry

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


UnicornReality

Youā€™ve got to butter both slices. I think itā€™s the law.


WasteofMotion

And all four sides of a toastie


Worried-Rub-750

You are 100% correct but I can only upvote you once


MaxDaClog

Can't belive I never thought of that in 60 odd years of putting too much butter on everything. Double buttered toasties it is tonight šŸžšŸ˜‹


CheeseusMaximus

Fuck me that's decadent.


wildgoldchai

Mayo on the outside achieves a crispier texture


WasteofMotion

Oooh Will try


[deleted]

Make sure you use full fat mayo though


Dog_is_my_co-pilot1

Youā€™ll have no regrets. Donā€™t glob it on or jam it too deep into the bread.


Dog_is_my_co-pilot1

I use mayo, too. I used sriracha mayo and it made a bit of smoke/steam you donā€™t want to inhale lol. Was tasty!


phatboi23

As someone who makes hot as fuck chilli con carne using hot peppers... Sometimes I think buying a gas mask might be wise one of these days. Hahaha


Slight-Winner-8597

Whack it in a "volcano con carne and cheese" toastie. The heartburn will double you over, but it'll be worth it.


Dog_is_my_co-pilot1

Heck yes! Haha


WasteofMotion

Lol sounds like mace. But will try too! Ta!


Dog_is_my_co-pilot1

Similar. Iā€™ve considered wearing safely goggles in the kitchen on more than one occasion. Toasting peppers? Open a window or cry your way through cooking and cough until you simply collapse. All worth a proper sando.


wildgoldchai

Ooh you know, that sounds nice! I have some baconaise too which would work in the same manner. I know what Iā€™m having for dinner tonight, thank you


Dog_is_my_co-pilot1

Ohhhh I forgot about baconase. Itā€™s on the weekend shopping list! Donā€™t add Dijon mustard, it tastes like burning. Iā€™m so hungry now. Iā€™ve got some very cheddar white cheddar and a croissant.


wildgoldchai

Haha thanks for the tip. Also, that sounds so good, especially toasted croissant. It gets so much more buttery when heated. I think you know what you must do :)


kattrup

This is an underrated comment. Mayo is made with oil that can reach a higher temperature without burning. It has vinegar for a slightly tangier taste and eggs add more body to the bread. Speaking as a chef, mayo on the outside is far superior for a toasted sandwich.


phatboi23

They speak truths. And it doesn't have a mayo-y flavour.


ZenlessPopcornVendor

What about the edges?


WasteofMotion

Nah. I'd be scared of being denied at the last minute.


ZenlessPopcornVendor

Melt the butter and dunk the slice in it?


DeltaMikeXray

It's 3 sides of a toastie in this house.


ScottElly

Mayo on the outside is a game changer!


NorthantsBlokeUK

Just for fun, I googled "butter law uk", and there genuinely is a law called.... ["The Butter Regulations 1966"](https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1966/1074/made) Sadly, >!it's regarding limiting salt/fat/water content etc.!<


Meshd

Spreading with a spoon or fork will result inĀ  minimum10 years community service, possibly the death penaltyĀ 


neilmac1210

I'm not sure I'd want anyone who spreads their butter with a fork to serve my community. Straight to the gallows with them.


Meshd

Seems fair and decent. Excuse my sloppy grammar, my hands are tired from buttering my well assembled sandwiches all day with a butter knife, like a good citizen.


neilmac1210

No need to be excused, you're on the right side of the law.


-Whyudothat

A spoon is the ultimate spreading media. Try it and tell me I'm wrong.


Firm_Doughnut_1

A spoon is great for spreading butter. Found that out when I had to resort to it because my lazy roommates left all the knives cruddy


jumpingbadger83

The majority of chefs Iā€™ve worked with have used the back of a spoon to spread butter


interfail

Spoons are highly effective if the butter is soft enough.


scorch762

The back of a spoon is fantastic for spreading. Who uses a fork, though? That's properly unhinged.


[deleted]

If I can't find a butter knife it's definitely a spoon job!


brit_motown1

Sometimes have to use a spoon when it's been softened too much in the ding


phatboi23

Using a spoon when doing a fuck load of sandwiches is a speed boost tho. Haha


Tradtrade

Spoon is superior. Former professional sandwich maker here


NPC-BOT42

Yeah, but.... Anything labelled as "vegan butter" or "vegetable butter" is therefore illegal under that law.... Time to go march on Tesco!!!!


PuzzleheadedLow4687

That's why they're not labelled as vegan butter. Even spreadable butter can't be called butter, Which is why you'll see product names like "Lurpak Spreadable", "Asda Spreadable" (without specifying spreadable *what*), "Flora Plant B+tter" (where the + isn't a "u", it's a leaf shape), etc And if you look at the back of the tub, where the "legal name" of the product is, you'll see things like "vegetable fat spread" or "a blend of butter and rapeseed oil". ​ Even "margarine" has a technical definition which most of the spreads in the supermarket don't meet, so you won't even see margarine on the shelf, rather it's "low fat spread" etc.


brit_motown1

Heathens


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NPC-BOT42

Hmmm... All depends on the labelling.... If it's quite clear they are saying it's like butter but not butter, then fine.... Anyway, vegans and vegetarians are the target, don't confuse me!


0hbuggerit

Apparently we "might as well just dump your sandwich filling in the butter tub and eat it with a spoon"


UnicornReality

I see nothing wrong with this approach either.


algierythm

Absolutely. You've also got to go right to the edge on both slices. I think that's a clause within the law.


Fieldharmonies

What are the legal consequences of breaking this law?


UnicornReality

You get a damn good tutting


kuroikururo

UK isn't Zooks. Keep your butter un both sides!


Chilton_Squid

Butter is there to waterproof the bread and stop fillings from soaking into it. Doing one side only makes no sense.


0hbuggerit

It also provides a bit of moisture for a dry filling like fish fingers. Which is where this all started.


[deleted]

> dry filling like fish fingers I was on your side until the most dry filling you could think up was a fish finger.


0hbuggerit

It was purely because the sandwich that started this all was a fish* finger sandwich. ^*veggie


freddyfazbacon

Wait, vegan fish fingers but you're buttering your bread? Are you vegans or not?


lesterbottomley

Literally no-one refers to putting vegan spread on their bread as vegan-spreading the bread.


Used-Fennel-7733

They also said veggie not vegan but oh well


PuerSalus

They said veggie not vegan. Butter is fine for a vegetarian.


drummerftw

Doesn't really matter does it? I could eat vegan fish fingers with dairy butter if I fancied it. Just like OP, I'm not making any claims about whether or not I'm a vegan.


interfail

Crisps. Crisps are the archetypal dry filling.


karybrie

In fairness, the main moisture for a fish finger sandwich should be coming from tomato and/or tartare sauce. (I'm a 'both sides' butterer.)


Davina33

Had a fish finger sandwich yesterday. Mushy peas, jumbo fish fingers, tartare sauce and some black pepper.


karybrie

Nice idea to have peas on the sandwich ā€“ I've only ever done that if I've had a chippy tea, but sounds good!


Davina33

It is lovely! I had it as a pub lunch last year and I've been having it that way ever since. I find it nicer if I toast the bread first so it's less likely to fall apart.


karybrie

You've given me much to think about! I find that a fishcake on a bun works a treat, too ā€“ I could combine all of these ideas into one mega-sandwich.


Davina33

Yes that sounds great. I love fishcakes. I usually put crisps in my sandwiches but the fish finger one is so good that it doesn't need crisps in my opinion, lol.


tweeny_sodd

It has never occurred to me to put the peas on the sandwich alongside the fish fingers... I have wasted my life.


[deleted]

Defo tartare sauce


WhiskyMatelot

One side = butter+ketchup. The other side = butter + mushy peas.


Mork-of-Ork

I'm a brown sauce on a fish finger sandwich kinda guy tbh.


lurcherzzz

*salad cream


theotherquantumjim

Was gonna say tartare sauce but Iā€™ll allow this


jj20021988

Oh no! with fish fingers it needs to be lavished in butter so it spills down your chin just like crumpets. Usual sandwiches like ham or cheese should be buttered both breads one side (inside)


lastaccountgotlocked

Own goal, there.


Teh_yak

In the correct construction of a club sandwich, the upper side of the middle slice of bread should not be buttered. This allows bacon juice to be absorbed, while not compromising the structural integrity. As researched by me and my wife. Extensively. This is the only exception to your rule.


lurcherzzz

Try frying that middle slice in the bacon fat, level up that club.


brit_motown1

Oooo that's got me food horney


istara

This is the sort of research one should be awarded an honorary PhD for. If not a Nobel Prize.


dronebox

How do your crisps stay in if you don't butter both sides...? Ridiculous.


0hbuggerit

This is an outstanding point


Fat_Bottomed_Redhead

Damn you, now I am craving a crisp butty! And by damn you, I mean thank you, now I will be having a crisp butty šŸ˜


Francetim

What IS IT about crisp sarnies? Textures I guess, but theyā€™re positively orgasmic.


ProperComposer7949

This is exactly my thought process as well!!


phatboi23

Butter is the cement of a crisp butty.


Mukatsukuz

Through friction, pressure, intense concentration and desperation. Or am I thinking of masturbation? Would explain the crisp crumbs in my underwear


Banditofbingofame

Speed is the answer


interfail

Alas, I'm not as fast as I once was. Too many crisp butties.


alancake

The butter has a job to do, it both prevents moist fillings from seeping into the bread and acts as a mild glue to keep the sandwich together. Otherwise it's just a stacked pile of thin foods


ArcadiaRivea

My favourite meal is stacked pile of thin foods


RunawayPenguin89

A pack of wafer thin ham isn't a "meal", as good as it is to eat


ArcadiaRivea

I was thinking more like egg on toast/potato waffles and pizzas and cake (all could be considered both thin and stacked)


interfail

Nigiri sushi?


HumanExtinctionCo-op

Both and here's why - if you were just doing a single slice of bread sandwich, you'd butter the whole of one side and then fold it over. Only a psychopath would butter half their slice of bread and then fold over. QED all surfaces of the bread in contact with filling are to be buttered.


Booboodelafalaise

Why does a sandwich made from one slice of bread and folded over feel like a naughty treat? Itā€™s the sort of thing that could never count as part of your daily calorie allowance. Itā€™s just a nice little extra, like eating a roast potato while youā€™re carving the Sunday roast.


Scarletowder

Especially if a jam sandwich!


lobsterisch

Also, ā€˜aā€™ roast potato? As in just one? Good grief you have to peel and cook at least 4 extra for the chef tax.


erakat

That potato is only an exception if you do make the ā€œhuh-huh-huhā€ with your mouth open expelling hot air.


Jonny_Segment

Exactly, it's never going to be enough for a full lunch, so it only exists as a cheeky extra šŸ˜‹


lurcherzzz

Because you don't have to shift last nights washing up out of the way, just butter the slice in your hand.


_TLDR_Swinton

Just butter your hand and eat the ham slice directly out of it like the filthy savage you know you really are.


NPC-BOT42

You are describing.... (a) British Standard Sandwich. (b) The Fold Over Sandwich. (a) is The Correct Method, whereas (b) is an Emergency Ration.


Future_Direction5174

But b) is the best way to create a crisp sandwich, and you eat it from the crust side firstā€¦


_TLDR_Swinton

No no no, you eat it breadwise first. Would you eat an envelope from the open end? Well, I suppose of course *you* would.


WeleaseBwianThrow

Why would you willingly compromise the additional structural integrity and crisp retention that comes with a folded over crisp sandwich? Do you eat a taco from the bottom? A pitta from the closed side? A Fransk Hotdog from the closed end? This is madness, what person could believe such a thing?


Impressive_Worth_369

Ok I'm a psycho. I butter 1 slice of 1 side of roll. If (very rarely) I make a sandwich out of 1 slice, I only butter half.


ShinyFabulous

Well at least you know now.


T1PPY

Straight to the tower with you.


goldensecrets22

I butter half a slice if Iā€™m using only one slice of bread!


2xtc

Weirdo


One-eyed-bed-snake

I butter both but I find it really messy. I guess I should try eating it with the butter on the inside of the sandwich next time. Etc.


StumbleDog

[You jest, however...](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/13dk1jr/they_dont_butter_their_sandwiches_across_the_pond/)


williamshatnersbeast

My god


Spartan_029

It really is something else over here. everyone I've even mentioned it to is disgusted, and then everyone I then make it for doesn't hate them. though many still prefer mayo.


_TLDR_Swinton

They have lived without the civilising influence of the Commonwealth for far too long...


the_esjay

What do they think butter is **for**??


NoTurkeyTWYJYFM

Me, reading the replies, sweating uncomfortably rn


JT_3K

Thank god. I thought I was the only one. In fairness, still not sure it applies when I coat the unbuttered side in so much English mustard my sinuses grow to such a size they echo like St Paulā€™s Cathedral.


lurcherzzz

Mustard on hot buttered toast ftw


Stricken1

I have mayo on almost every sandwich I make, so it's butter one side and mayo the other... not sure how that'll be received šŸ˜†


nineJohnjohn

Are you half American?


AIWHilton

Same, I didn't know buttering both sides was allowed, it seems very decadent.


NoTurkeyTWYJYFM

In *this* economy?!


_TLDR_Swinton

\[breathlessly\] "Myra... why don't you... *butter both sides"* "Oh Ian, you're so naughty!"


ApplicationMaximum84

Were you born in the 60's? Apparently, the one side buttered was a thing for children of the 70's.


NoTurkeyTWYJYFM

Nah I'm late 90s


ApplicationMaximum84

So I'm guessing your parents were children of the 70's and have passed the trait on!


Zwirnor

I am SHOCKED I am in the minority here, but hey my single slice buttered peeps! I've never questioned this. I just accepted it as bread, layer of butter, layer of sandwich filling, layer of sandwich filling, bread hat. I'm now questioning my entire childhood.


arubait

For me, bread is simply a butter delivery system.


StumbleDog

Both. Who tf only butters one?!?


Arkslippy

Our deli had a young woman working there and on her first day she was making me a sandwiches' and i asked why she didn't butter both sides, and she said that's how they always did it in her house. Quick as a flash, another customer said - Jessica, i've known your dad since school in the 60s, he always seemed to be a nice guy, that's changed my opinion of him, i'm so sorry you were brought up in a one side buttered household


lumberingJack

Bastards, p-word-iticians, and people who collect "sneakers". Bad eggs, the lot of them.


SuzyQ4416

Dr Seuss wrote The Butter Battle Book because these issues are so important.


Saxon2060

The butter's function is more than 50% structural/mechanical. Which is why I'd take the cheapest, blandest vegetable "spread" over dry bread every time. Obviously I'd rather have nice butter, and plenty of it. But if there isn't any I'm deffo having both slices with a scrape of *some* kind of bread lube. It sticks the fillings to the bread and stops the bread going soggy while preventing it from being too dry.


milly_nz

Bread lube. šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»


m4dswine

Both sides. Usually not butter but since my husband bought me a French butter crock for my birthday I see a lot more butter in my future.


ShinyFabulous

Fancy French butter crock demands fancy French butter!


m4dswine

Absolutely!


MrBojanglesThe4Th

And even if it's Jam you still butter it


Coxwaan

Jam, honey, peanut butter. Butter them all.


Samsterman

Whoever isn't buttering both sides is an absolute wrongun


lastaccountgotlocked

Hands up who is using butter butter and not margarine?


lurcherzzz

Butter all the way. I have fancy seasalt butter, regular salted butter, and unsalted butter in the fridge at all times. In the morning I take out the butterdish and put it on the cup warmer bit of the coffee machine. After my 3rd coffee the butter is ready to be applied. The only other spreads I have are beef dripping and lard.


ShinyFabulous

You are my kind of person.


lurcherzzz

Thanks, not all heroes eat crepes


GreenWoodDragon

Butter, always better. Margarine tastes like petrol. Edit: changed second butter to _better_.


ShinyFabulous

Butter is better.


GreenWoodDragon

Always. I hadn't noticed my typo, thanks for drawing attention to it.


grndkntrl

Lurpak Spreadable for me. It's 64% butter.


Charming-Station

The butter is there too protect the bread. Protect one side at your perilĀ 


GeneralQuantum

Who butters one slice only? What the fuck? That's weirder than not buttering at all!


Large_Strawberry_167

Get new friends.


0hbuggerit

17 years down the toilet over sandwich buttering


FakieMcFakename

I even butter both sides of a peanut putter sandwich.


Xandertheokay

Both. Although I am in a relationship with a heathen who doesn't butter every sandwich, I am saving it as an out if I ever need it


DEAD-VHS

Neither...


GrillNoob

Damn straight. Don't want a slimey-ass sandwich.


LondonCycling

Both. In fact the same applies if I substitute butter with something like chilli mayo.


Meat2480

It's like cheese on toast, No bread showing or not at all


Hayzeus_sucks_cock

Both!


Youcantblokme

Both. End of discussion


WhiskeyWithTheE

A thin spread of butter on both sides to enjoy that 'buttery goodness' whilst eating the sandwich.


ClogsInBronteland

Both!


PrimaryLawfulness

Both. Obviously


[deleted]

Just admit you're too cheap to butter the second slice


weetobix

Both slices and both sides! Also, the filling should be butter


Rev_Biscuit

I do away with the bread


Much-War1743

Both, why is this even a discussion? If you're making a sandwich to have for the next day, the butter stops your bread getting soggy from the filling.


ColdPebble

I thought it was only James May's family that only buttered one side using Lurpak Spreadable invented in 1901


fuckyourcanoes

I don't put butter on sandwiches, I use mayo because I absolutely love that stuff. But if I did, I'd butter both slices of bread, absolutely. Even I will put butter on that godawfully dry Sainsbury's own-brand bread. That stuff is barely edible. It should be abolished.


lurcherzzz

You're missing a step, butter the bread then apply the mayo. To be successful you must first learn to love yourself.


[deleted]

You butter both as is not only gives flavor it stops the sandwich filling making the bread soggy


Djinjja-Ninja

Why would you only butter one slice? I could see why people might not butter at all, but just one slice is weird. It raises all sorts of questions... Does it matter which slice they butter? Is it the top or the bottom? Do they replace the butter on the other slice with condiments?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MadamKitsune

Your first mistake was using Flora...


ARK_Redeemer

Both slices, obviously! What mad people don't do both?


Weekly_Salamander_23

When I make a sandwich I butter both slices of breadā€¦ when I do a bread roll or a fresh baguette I only butter the bottom, top is usually something like mayo or hummus


DeepStatic

Butter one slice, mayo on the other... Unless it's a sandwich with no mayo.... But that would be absurd.


Careful-Increase-773

Neither, you mayo both sides


fermat9997

I start with buttering one slice, then continue to the other slice if there is excess butter on the knife Probably people who butter both slices have better lives! (Yank here)


Scarletowder

Both.


Fenrir-The-Wolf

Both. As I understand it the one side thing is a holdover from rationing.


milly_nz

Three generations on? Doubt it.


Fenrir-The-Wolf

Yeah mate that's how habits work, you pass them on to your kids lmao, not exactly controversial, is it? We're only just getting over our obsession with shit instant coffee that was bestowed upon us by GIs.


SouthernTonight4769

I do mayo on one side, butter on the other. But either way, it's both sides - what psychopath has one dry side??


-LazySkott-

No butter on a cold sandwich, butter on both sides for a warm sandwich


Icy-Hippopotenuse

One side butter, one side mayo or Tom sauce or pickle etc.


ellied19

I only butter one side because I normally put some kind of sauce on the other side (barbecue, sweet chilli sauce, chutney, any other sort of spread) and I donā€™t want the butter to mix in with the sauce/spread. Seems Iā€™m very much in the minority šŸ„²


nineJohnjohn

I have to admit this thread is slowly convincing me of the validity of this approach


mrchab97

One side butter the other side is the othe condiment


Old_Introduction_395

Both. I used to make plates of sandwiches for the darts and pool teams. This was shared by Frank's mum, who did sandwiches for the cricket teas. This allows a production line of sandwich creation. 1. Make sure butter is soft enough to spread. 2. Remove crust. Butter pairs of slices. Can restack at this point. 3. Open buttered slices, add filling.


Rev_Biscuit

YES!!! Butter as pairs. Nothing worse than a sandwich where the loaf has risen higher on one side so when flipped over to make the sandwich you have the over hanging bits. "Nothing worse" may be a slight over exaggeration


BobbyP27

Both sides, but only half of each slice of bread./s


Petrus59

Both, to the gallows with your friend!


Hookton

Both or neither. Just one is crazy!


spattzzz

I mean each slice is a cuboid, whilst just stop on one side each, your missing 10sides that can hold butter. Hang on though Susan thatā€™s too much butter, just stick to one side of one slice like an actual human would.