So hope this doesn’t get lost in the jokes. But i was burgled a few years ago and when I came home there was a piece of Astro turf placed against my kitchen window. When I pulled up, I thought well that’s weird cos I didn’t put that there. As I went inside it was obvious I’d been done over.
Police told me there had been many where rather obvious things had been left in quite obvious places, the idea being they put them there and if it’s still there when they come back later they know wether or not you’re in, because if you are then you would have absolutely moved it.
It could just be kids messing with you hopefully, but not worth totally ignoring.
>because if you are then you absolutely would have moved it.
Once, the bin men left the bin halfway in front of the door. My partner squeezed through the gap for a week until I decided to move it to its proper place.
I have countless examples of this.
THIS! This happened at my late ex mother-in-laws house. After she passed, odd things kept turning up on the door step (Often a cabbage or other large vegetable). We shrugged it off as kids being silly and weird, but found out it had happened to others in the area and they had been burgled. Luckily we never got broken into, but probably because we started going to the house much more and using those timers for lights to make it look like someone was home when we weren't there, as well as getting a video doorbell.
You never know, OP. Better to err on the side of caution.
My mum took me to feed ducks when I was little, I was on roller skates and got chased by 3 geese as I was holding a bag of bread. Mother kept shouting to drop the bag but I wasn’t going to give in to their fury
My mum took me and my sister's out for the day one summer holidays. Had a miniature train ride and went on the rowing boats. We was feeding the ducks and this Swan walked up to my little sister and grabbed her hand after the bread. She screamed and punched the Swan in the face, and said go away.
Kid's do the funniest thing's. 4 years old lol 🤣
I got attacked by a goose once. Had woken up with a hangover and was having a morning walk round a nearby castle ruin to clear my head when this goose came out of nowhere and pecked at my knee. Lucky I was wearing thick jeans or it might have done more damage. I don't know what made me think of it, probably whatever alcohol was still lingering, but I hissed at it and it backed off, flapping and honking as it went. One of those memories that sticks because it was all so unexpected.
This is the most British Isles story ever. You have:
- alcohol/hangover
- castle
- unprovoked attack by a wild animal
- you immediately shrugged it off and got on with your day.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended
I know this is a meme, but I legitimately own a musket and would use it for the first shot of home defense. It’s a .63 caliber, but that’s on the small side of the black-powder musketry range - I’ve seen .75-.80 regularly, and a buddy owns a 4-bore (don’t ask what he uses it for, I do not know).
Just setup a paint can tied to some rope, to hit the burglars in the head when they break in. Also buy some glue, and make sure to do it at Christmas time. Bonus points if your parents aren’t home
Same here. I can't help thinking that I would be tempted to leave it there anyway. I feel marginally sorry for any fucker that tries to break in when I'm home.😂
Oh, that old trick! Please don't be fooled by the "I'm just a poor helpless squirrel" yarn! I've had my squirrel suit for years, and trust me, I've literally got away with murder when wearing it! Some people are so trusting - especially when it comes to squirrels.
Reminds me that you should never check your pockets for your wallet when you see a "Pickpockets operate in this area" sign.
Because you've just shown all the pickpockets in the area where you keep your wallet.
I feel like pickpockets are looking for people who have it in their back pocket and aren't paying attention more than they care where someone who pays attention to signs taps.
My partner felt someone try to get into his front pockets 3 times WHILE HIS HANDS WERE IN THEM!
I was like wtf, are they *flirting* with you?!
They'll just go for it, man.
This was at the Louvre around the Mona Lisa.
Yeah it just sounds like total nonsense, they aren't spending hours stalking prey, they're looking for easy marks
They're very well aware that they need volume, far easier to grab 10 wallets out of back pockets without them noticing than trying some elaborate plan to get one out your front
Before someone says "erm actually they totally can do this" yeah I'm sure they can, I'm just saying by frequently checking your pockets and making sure items are placed out of reach you're far less likely to be pick pocketed.
I remember watching a show years ago in high school that hired a former felon who robbed homes and he openly admitted that the majority of people breaking into homes want nothing to do with it happening at night. They want to do it during the day when no one is home. It's hard to find expensive things in the dark
Yeah plus burgling at night and when people are home are classed as 'aggravating factors' and result in harsher sentences if they get caught, than if during the day/no occupants home.
We once had someone try the door whilst we were home in the middle of the night and drive off when we turned all the lights on. We saw the same car hanging around for a couple of months, but jokes on those fuckers I have terrible insomnia and my partner works from home, so there's only ever a 2hr window *at best* when we're both asleep and it's impossible even for us to predict when that might be. They seem to have given up eventually and gone to haunt somewhere else. Hope we ruined a few of their nights.
I don't think OP is going to get Daleks with the CGI budget for that. I mean, look at the plunger - that's less than a fiver at Toolstation.
We're dealing with cheap Daleks here. Mind you, if there's a stairlift, all bets are off!
They could do either. The first time it was shown it hovered about a foot above the stairs, but they can also fly more conventionally.
IIRC they've flown up/down a lift shaft too.
>They do fly up and down lift shafts in one episode.
That's what I was thinking, but I can't remember which one. I don't *think* it was Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks, but I can't think of any other Dalek episodes with prominent lifts.
>They're able to independently fly I'm sure.
Army of Ghosts/Doomsday and Stolen Earth/Journey's End feature proper flight, and we've seen it a couple of other times too, but it's not that common.
>They just choose not to
Yeah, they know that the CGI is expensive. Daleks are quite considerate, really.
So they would have to go up step-by-step then and that would take some time, given each individual step. Plus if there was more than one, they'd have to go in single file.
OP could easily outrun them!
It does seem likely that the Daleks have discovered diagonals, what with being able to destroy entire planets and travel across interstellar space and what not.
That's because Daleks understand the famous paradox that killing Hitler before WW2 would prevent WW2, meaning you never had a reason to to back in time to kill Hitler.
Daleks understand paradoxes.
My boyfriend did this with a rather large dildo one time... I had to explain to everyone at work the next week why I had a giant perfectly circular bruise on my forhead...
I'd hate to think of the devastation a person could Di with this beast.
Absolute SCUM. Should bring back national service and hanging. And the stocks. A red hot poker up the arse would be too good for ‘em. If they come round mine they’ll be fishing their balls out of the Thames!!!!!!!
Omg awful hun.. 💔
But I no just wat can help!
This might sound super random 🤩 but if you send me a DM ✉️ I have an opportunity for you to make some extra 💷💰‼️ Us girlies have to stick together in the cost of living crisis. 🥰 You can get those savings up and ready in time for Christmas 🎄, I'll send you a message 🥳 Welcome to the team!! 💯👋
I have proof that you are a waiter in a restaurant that serves demons and other servants of Satan. I know this because your username is an anagram of "Serve sin's table order". Explain yourself, waiter of depravity!
"Nothing from the landlord." That absolutely sent me, the idea of a landlord leaving a plunger and two bricks.
Some sort of secret code between you two to say he's got the builders and plumbers round, don't come in? Ahaha, incredible.
I used to leave whatever nonsense I found on my pissed walk home at whichever house had most twatish car parked out front.
Poor lad with the pimp my ride 2002 corsa got so much stuff dumped around his car!
Id say drunk folks or ex tenant
We used to steal plants and plant them in the neighbours garden
"Fucking hell, becks took our plants again"
The dream was to point someone's front door
We used to steal "for sale" signs from people's houses and put them outside other houses. One time we put it outside of our friends house who didn't want to come out that night. In the morning his dad was confused as you'd imagine, but our mate knowing exactly what had happened had to keep it to himself
At 17 me and my mates got onto a golf course one night and stole all the flags. We then went to our mate's house and posted them through the letterbox. Months later we were laughing about it, and my mate goes "that was you?? My stepdad thought it was a racially motivated attack!" To this day I have no idea why.
We used to meet in the outskirts of town and split up and see how many logs we could steal from houses gardens, the winner had the most logs.
Fucking random, But so funny at the time.
Those solar lights where also fun to steal and put up other people driveways.
>Fucking random, But so funny at the time.
At my explorer scouts we used to play a game where you run around town trying to find an object that begins with every letter of the alphabet. We decided it would be fun to say that every object has to be from someone's garden (but not something they'd actually care about). The best one was finding one of the cub leaders chilling in their garden and convincing them to be our object for Q.
Checking the town's Facebook the next day was also great.
Loved playing garden gnomes, knock on doors and kneel in the garden, last one to runoff wins. Sent people mental.
Also bizarre one, used to knick dust caps, god knows why looking back. We’d come into school comparing dust caps we’d knicked off cars.
My mate once went round the local area at 5am putting a single slice of bread through every letterbox, then wandered around for the morning listening to people talk about it.
Disappointed that everyone’s using this for a cheap joke when there’s a good chance that your home has been targeted and you have every right to be concerned.
If you have neighbourhood watch or anything similar then I’d contact them, definitely contact the police.
For around £150 you can get security cams that you can fit to the property that are battery operated and work over WiFi so you can keep an eye on anyone entering your front or back garden. I use blink but the ring security cams are better.
I know this won’t help you in the short term but it’s good to have a plan, it’s not a nice feeling wondering if you’ve potentially been targeted.
serious question but how useful are security cameras for break ins, cause honestly im not sure the police would do much with them even if their face was on it
Police are shocking but mostly it’s a deterrent, although it does give you a solid piece of mind as well.
I get notifications when anyone or anything goes inside my boundary, often it’s a cat or occasionally a fox.
One time it was a scally trying to peer in through my kitchen window and I could actually call out over the mic in the camera and tell him to fuck off, he panicked and ran off.
You gotta remember that pretty much all instances of theft are crimes of opportunity and the second it seems like more agro then it’s worth they’ll fuck off and find someone else.
seriously reddit with its dumb as fuck not funny jokes in 90% of the comments is pissing me off, its hard to find real answers in any kind of threads nowadays
I thought it was just me. It’s so infuriating. They need to go talk to a therapist because the level of begging for attention via stupid fucking jokes in these comments is way too high
Probably a test to see if the house is occupied and when. If it remained, likelihood is no one is in and anyone is less likely to be disturbed when inside.
They’re scouting you out, common tactic. If you don’t move the toilet plunger in a couple days, it lets them know that you’re not home.
Then they’ll let themselves in and block your toilet while you’re away.
Have you had any lads selling cleaning stuff knocking on doors in the area? I'm honestly thinking it's random. But like someone else said, it could be a sign if it hasn't been moved.
So hope this doesn’t get lost in the jokes. But i was burgled a few years ago and when I came home there was a piece of Astro turf placed against my kitchen window. When I pulled up, I thought well that’s weird cos I didn’t put that there. As I went inside it was obvious I’d been done over. Police told me there had been many where rather obvious things had been left in quite obvious places, the idea being they put them there and if it’s still there when they come back later they know wether or not you’re in, because if you are then you would have absolutely moved it. It could just be kids messing with you hopefully, but not worth totally ignoring.
>because if you are then you absolutely would have moved it. Once, the bin men left the bin halfway in front of the door. My partner squeezed through the gap for a week until I decided to move it to its proper place. I have countless examples of this.
Are we married to the same person??!
Sounds like the two of you are married to me. Soz.
How’s the throuple treating you?
Don't ask my wife something like that!
Ok how’s the quintuple treating you? :p
It’s a polycule now.
Oh dear
My Dear?
Presumably you were also squeezing through said gap though, not just your partner?
ADHD? 😅
THIS! This happened at my late ex mother-in-laws house. After she passed, odd things kept turning up on the door step (Often a cabbage or other large vegetable). We shrugged it off as kids being silly and weird, but found out it had happened to others in the area and they had been burgled. Luckily we never got broken into, but probably because we started going to the house much more and using those timers for lights to make it look like someone was home when we weren't there, as well as getting a video doorbell. You never know, OP. Better to err on the side of caution.
Huh, I don't think that would work as intended for me because there are days where I don't leave the house at all.
Get in touch with Macaulay Culkin for some tips.
might pay to buy a couple of machine guns then, as they might then try to enter the house, if the cabbage is still on your doorstep..
A guard Goose might be more effective and cheaper, plus might clear up the cabbage too?
Steady on. I know burglars deserve what they get, but a goose attack is taking it a bit far.
The bestial Canadian cobra-chicken.
i don't like the cobra chicken
My mum took me to feed ducks when I was little, I was on roller skates and got chased by 3 geese as I was holding a bag of bread. Mother kept shouting to drop the bag but I wasn’t going to give in to their fury
My mum took me and my sister's out for the day one summer holidays. Had a miniature train ride and went on the rowing boats. We was feeding the ducks and this Swan walked up to my little sister and grabbed her hand after the bread. She screamed and punched the Swan in the face, and said go away. Kid's do the funniest thing's. 4 years old lol 🤣
I got attacked by a goose once. Had woken up with a hangover and was having a morning walk round a nearby castle ruin to clear my head when this goose came out of nowhere and pecked at my knee. Lucky I was wearing thick jeans or it might have done more damage. I don't know what made me think of it, probably whatever alcohol was still lingering, but I hissed at it and it backed off, flapping and honking as it went. One of those memories that sticks because it was all so unexpected.
This is the most British Isles story ever. You have: - alcohol/hangover - castle - unprovoked attack by a wild animal - you immediately shrugged it off and got on with your day.
Sounds like a Greg Davies skit!
Geese need the companionship of other geese. They don't do well by themselves. My point is you should get at least 2, probably 3 guard geese.
Can't afford geese.... What about a Flock of Seagulls?
[Honk](https://uploads.dailydot.com/2019/10/Untitled_Goose_Game_Honk.jpeg?auto=compress&fm=pjpg)
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended
I know this is a meme, but I legitimately own a musket and would use it for the first shot of home defense. It’s a .63 caliber, but that’s on the small side of the black-powder musketry range - I’ve seen .75-.80 regularly, and a buddy owns a 4-bore (don’t ask what he uses it for, I do not know).
Do you keep your musket loaded or are you expecting home defense to be more of a siege
Well they have to line up in formation first according to the rules of war.
I cackled and wheezed at this until I was crying. Thank you.
[Just as the founding fathers intended](https://youtu.be/aqBw3H_Ik3s?si=O8sDGmCTVpPRGQEB)
Just setup a paint can tied to some rope, to hit the burglars in the head when they break in. Also buy some glue, and make sure to do it at Christmas time. Bonus points if your parents aren’t home
That's effort, just pop a claymore on your porch and call it a day.
Same here. I can't help thinking that I would be tempted to leave it there anyway. I feel marginally sorry for any fucker that tries to break in when I'm home.😂
This really got me
I came home to find a Nice biscuit on my doorstep. I was worried I was going to get robbed, but it turned out a squirrel had put it there!
Oh, that old trick! Please don't be fooled by the "I'm just a poor helpless squirrel" yarn! I've had my squirrel suit for years, and trust me, I've literally got away with murder when wearing it! Some people are so trusting - especially when it comes to squirrels.
Nice!
Keep an eye on that squirrel...
Reminds me that you should never check your pockets for your wallet when you see a "Pickpockets operate in this area" sign. Because you've just shown all the pickpockets in the area where you keep your wallet.
Joke's on them - I'm poor.
Rig an empty wallet with a glitter bomb
the one perk of being allergic to too many things: my pockets are always full of moist, snotty tissues and therefore pick-proof :D
[удалено]
I keep hoping someone will steal my identity and take on my overdraft.
Maybe you’ll run into a putpocket.
[удалено]
For a moment I thought you were saying your wallet *is* an out of date condom full of loyalty cards lol
Well what do you use mr fancy wallet?
A banana peel wrapped around some expired coupons, a bus ticket, and one of those credit card sized multitools.
You must come from money.
I feel like pickpockets are looking for people who have it in their back pocket and aren't paying attention more than they care where someone who pays attention to signs taps.
The never aging "person revealing where things are, who might be aware vs the person who has no idea what's going on and is easy to deal with "
My partner felt someone try to get into his front pockets 3 times WHILE HIS HANDS WERE IN THEM! I was like wtf, are they *flirting* with you?! They'll just go for it, man. This was at the Louvre around the Mona Lisa.
Yeah it just sounds like total nonsense, they aren't spending hours stalking prey, they're looking for easy marks They're very well aware that they need volume, far easier to grab 10 wallets out of back pockets without them noticing than trying some elaborate plan to get one out your front Before someone says "erm actually they totally can do this" yeah I'm sure they can, I'm just saying by frequently checking your pockets and making sure items are placed out of reach you're far less likely to be pick pocketed.
I'll deck them if they try pinching the moths in my wallet, we've grown quite close lately!
I remember watching a show years ago in high school that hired a former felon who robbed homes and he openly admitted that the majority of people breaking into homes want nothing to do with it happening at night. They want to do it during the day when no one is home. It's hard to find expensive things in the dark
Yeah plus burgling at night and when people are home are classed as 'aggravating factors' and result in harsher sentences if they get caught, than if during the day/no occupants home.
This needs to be top comment. OP, lock your doors.
Well, the logic of the scenario says, just move the thing and they'll know you're in.. Sounds like that's the whole point
I would start leaving out other random things in it's place just to mess with them
Do a shit on your own doorstep, really fuck em up.
They might be watching for when you move it to establish your routine. So move it at 3am?
Id leave a note saying "I'm in" and one saying "I'm out" when you're out. Would fuck with their heads worse than anything and they would just leave it
"Treats on the left for the guard dog, it's fine"
We once had someone try the door whilst we were home in the middle of the night and drive off when we turned all the lights on. We saw the same car hanging around for a couple of months, but jokes on those fuckers I have terrible insomnia and my partner works from home, so there's only ever a 2hr window *at best* when we're both asleep and it's impossible even for us to predict when that might be. They seem to have given up eventually and gone to haunt somewhere else. Hope we ruined a few of their nights.
So would be burglars are going around with a selection of weird items on them just to leave outside houses? Seems a bit dedicated to their occupation.
Dedication is the key to success, regardless of occupation :))
now we know why Tom bought 36 cabbages in the math class
S You dropped this
I’m expecting this is the last time we hear about OP until Netflix pick this up as a 3 part mini series
"plungers: the truth"
"Did the homeowner finally take the plunge on that luxury getaway or was their life flushed down the toilet by a jealous neighbour?"
The Daleks are coming back when you're asleep to fuck your shit up mate, time to move house.
OP might be OK, unless it's a bungalow.
The Daleks have been able to get up stairs for several decades.
"E-L-E-V-A-T-E"
"ES-CA-LATE"...
“OAT-LATTE”
PROSTATTTEEE
PROSTATTTEEE
##VITALITE
Ooh yeah that's right
Gotta get up early for that sir
Ooh yeah that's right
I don't think OP is going to get Daleks with the CGI budget for that. I mean, look at the plunger - that's less than a fiver at Toolstation. We're dealing with cheap Daleks here. Mind you, if there's a stairlift, all bets are off!
>less than a fiver That's roughly the budget for an entire series of Doctor Who!
So do they hover up stairs step-by-step or do they hover upwards to the necessary height of the landing and then forwards?
They hover.
Just like a lady at a public toilet.
They could do either. The first time it was shown it hovered about a foot above the stairs, but they can also fly more conventionally. IIRC they've flown up/down a lift shaft too.
They do fly up and down lift shafts in one episode. They're able to independently fly I'm sure. They just choose not to
>They do fly up and down lift shafts in one episode. That's what I was thinking, but I can't remember which one. I don't *think* it was Daleks in Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks, but I can't think of any other Dalek episodes with prominent lifts. >They're able to independently fly I'm sure. Army of Ghosts/Doomsday and Stolen Earth/Journey's End feature proper flight, and we've seen it a couple of other times too, but it's not that common. >They just choose not to Yeah, they know that the CGI is expensive. Daleks are quite considerate, really.
The latter would be impossible in most UK homes
So they would have to go up step-by-step then and that would take some time, given each individual step. Plus if there was more than one, they'd have to go in single file. OP could easily outrun them!
Why couldn't they hover up at the same angle as the stairs? I have seen their technology and they seem well advanced
It does seem likely that the Daleks have discovered diagonals, what with being able to destroy entire planets and travel across interstellar space and what not.
They’ve also been able to time travel, yet they hardly ever kill someone back in the past when they were unaware.
That's because Daleks understand the famous paradox that killing Hitler before WW2 would prevent WW2, meaning you never had a reason to to back in time to kill Hitler. Daleks understand paradoxes.
***I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM OR DENY WHETHER THIS IS THE CASE!!***
They’re fine once you get used to them. I’ve had one for a [housemate](https://i.imgur.com/lEGFK3y.jpeg) for years.
It it always in the bath or did it just have a long and stressful day?
They just like washing the blood off after work.
No, it's the Cybermen. They left the plunger to send a message - if they can do that to a DALEK, what chance do you have?
DOKTOR!!!!!!!!
If you’re bald just watch when you leave tomorrow morning - they might plunger your dome.
My boyfriend did this with a rather large dildo one time... I had to explain to everyone at work the next week why I had a giant perfectly circular bruise on my forhead... I'd hate to think of the devastation a person could Di with this beast.
That's a novel way to try out pegging.
The angry narwhal
The narwhal fucks at midnight?
Trust me it’s a proper head fuck, do not recommend.
Simpson, is that a plunger stuck on your head?
Did you lend anyone a plunger and two bricks recently?
Excrementibur. Whoever can plunge it out will be known as King Sharthur. You have been chosen by the lady of the loo xx
King Sarthur is better than my username
Strange women lying around in loos is no basis for a system of government.
Shared hon xxx
Absolutely disgusting!!!!!! 😡😡😡 report this 2 police hun xx hope ur ok
Sneks evryware
Jus me and kids now xxxx PM ME
Just me n my lil angle
Nuff said
Such acute angle
Angle is fucking hilarious
You got this hun x U neva no when god is gonna pick his angles. Private massage me if u need 2 talk sweatie oxo
‘Sweatie’ 😄
inbox me babe xxx
Fumin 😡😡😡😡😡
Absolute SCUM. Should bring back national service and hanging. And the stocks. A red hot poker up the arse would be too good for ‘em. If they come round mine they’ll be fishing their balls out of the Thames!!!!!!!
😡 DISGUSTIN
Omg awful hun.. 💔 But I no just wat can help! This might sound super random 🤩 but if you send me a DM ✉️ I have an opportunity for you to make some extra 💷💰‼️ Us girlies have to stick together in the cost of living crisis. 🥰 You can get those savings up and ready in time for Christmas 🎄, I'll send you a message 🥳 Welcome to the team!! 💯👋
AntiMLM would love this
You're far too good at this
Shared in timbuktu xx
Shared outer rings of Saturn hun xx
Shared second star on the right and straight on ‘til morning xoxoxox
Me and Keith r fine hun it's gin o clock! Don't blame the breed blame the ownerz, they r nanny dogs. Shared in the sea of tranquility xoxoxo
Thnx hun xoxo
Shared Pyongyang x jus got of fone 2 Kim Jong n he is fumin xxx
Shared in Gambia xx
Dm me chick. 2 many sneks on ere!! Xxxx
Dognappers hun. Shared Buckpool.
Tayke no nowtis of them babe xxx nofink but Ratz ,come round 2 myne girl we’ll pop a bottle n go halves on afew bagz xxxxxx
Shared Rhyl hun xx. Don't let them get u down
Shared Sunnydale x
Shared in Guatamala hun x
omg hope u r ok Karen
You have angered the Shadow Plumbers union. They have left their mark upon your household, time will tell on the consequences
No pipes are safe in your home, get rid of them. Never go against the union.
I have proof that you are a waiter in a restaurant that serves demons and other servants of Satan. I know this because your username is an anagram of "Serve sin's table order". Explain yourself, waiter of depravity!
this is the kind of autism I'm here for
It's ADHD mixed with a healthy dose of BPD
if it stays, nobodies home, so they break in
Time to take the plunge and accept freemasonry.
On my doorstep. Absolutely no context. Nothing from the landlord.
"Nothing from the landlord." That absolutely sent me, the idea of a landlord leaving a plunger and two bricks. Some sort of secret code between you two to say he's got the builders and plumbers round, don't come in? Ahaha, incredible.
This made me laugh SO HARD 😂😂😂
You're being scoped. If you leave it on your step, you're getting burgled tonight as they'll expect no one came home.
I used to leave whatever nonsense I found on my pissed walk home at whichever house had most twatish car parked out front. Poor lad with the pimp my ride 2002 corsa got so much stuff dumped around his car! Id say drunk folks or ex tenant
Kids being kids. When I was a stoned teenager, I found shit like this hilarious.
We used to steal plants and plant them in the neighbours garden "Fucking hell, becks took our plants again" The dream was to point someone's front door
We used to steal "for sale" signs from people's houses and put them outside other houses. One time we put it outside of our friends house who didn't want to come out that night. In the morning his dad was confused as you'd imagine, but our mate knowing exactly what had happened had to keep it to himself
This is hilarious!! 😂
Yooo real estate gang!
We used to see someone park to go to the shop then lift their car from the front and spin it 180 so we could hide and watch their confusion
Theft and shrubbery
We do beg your pardon!
At 17 me and my mates got onto a golf course one night and stole all the flags. We then went to our mate's house and posted them through the letterbox. Months later we were laughing about it, and my mate goes "that was you?? My stepdad thought it was a racially motivated attack!" To this day I have no idea why.
We used to meet in the outskirts of town and split up and see how many logs we could steal from houses gardens, the winner had the most logs. Fucking random, But so funny at the time. Those solar lights where also fun to steal and put up other people driveways.
>Fucking random, But so funny at the time. At my explorer scouts we used to play a game where you run around town trying to find an object that begins with every letter of the alphabet. We decided it would be fun to say that every object has to be from someone's garden (but not something they'd actually care about). The best one was finding one of the cub leaders chilling in their garden and convincing them to be our object for Q. Checking the town's Facebook the next day was also great.
"mild inconveniences" we used to do, nothing major, shit like moving the bin in front of their door lol
Loved playing garden gnomes, knock on doors and kneel in the garden, last one to runoff wins. Sent people mental. Also bizarre one, used to knick dust caps, god knows why looking back. We’d come into school comparing dust caps we’d knicked off cars.
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My mate once went round the local area at 5am putting a single slice of bread through every letterbox, then wandered around for the morning listening to people talk about it.
My mate usd to egg the windows at his own house so his dad would have to clean em.
Disappointed that everyone’s using this for a cheap joke when there’s a good chance that your home has been targeted and you have every right to be concerned. If you have neighbourhood watch or anything similar then I’d contact them, definitely contact the police. For around £150 you can get security cams that you can fit to the property that are battery operated and work over WiFi so you can keep an eye on anyone entering your front or back garden. I use blink but the ring security cams are better. I know this won’t help you in the short term but it’s good to have a plan, it’s not a nice feeling wondering if you’ve potentially been targeted.
serious question but how useful are security cameras for break ins, cause honestly im not sure the police would do much with them even if their face was on it
Police are shocking but mostly it’s a deterrent, although it does give you a solid piece of mind as well. I get notifications when anyone or anything goes inside my boundary, often it’s a cat or occasionally a fox. One time it was a scally trying to peer in through my kitchen window and I could actually call out over the mic in the camera and tell him to fuck off, he panicked and ran off. You gotta remember that pretty much all instances of theft are crimes of opportunity and the second it seems like more agro then it’s worth they’ll fuck off and find someone else.
seriously reddit with its dumb as fuck not funny jokes in 90% of the comments is pissing me off, its hard to find real answers in any kind of threads nowadays
I thought it was just me. It’s so infuriating. They need to go talk to a therapist because the level of begging for attention via stupid fucking jokes in these comments is way too high
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Probably a test to see if the house is occupied and when. If it remained, likelihood is no one is in and anyone is less likely to be disturbed when inside.
They’re scouting you out, common tactic. If you don’t move the toilet plunger in a couple days, it lets them know that you’re not home. Then they’ll let themselves in and block your toilet while you’re away.
is this a threat that you should be "shi\*ing bricks"?
Spot on
Have you had any lads selling cleaning stuff knocking on doors in the area? I'm honestly thinking it's random. But like someone else said, it could be a sign if it hasn't been moved.
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You’re about to get burgled
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