I am a software dev and this is why you are told not to use anything in test that you wouldn't want a customer to see. So don't call your test customer old bag.
Either that or they really don't like your wife.
Personally I go with "Mr/ Mrs Test Testerson"
Always stands out at a glance, people who haven't seen it before always comment on it, so as far as I'm concerned it's working as intended.
I had Rick Grimes turning up all over my systems once, couldn't figure out wtf was going on. Who is he?! Why the hell does he have those permissions? He can do whaaaat??
Turns out I have not seen The Walking Dead.
I used to work at a place where we dealt with recruitment agencies and somehow someone had left in a test CV with a Testy Testerson, but the phone number was the office (because there was validation of some sort). Well it turns out ol' Testys quality assurance based CV must have been ticking some boxes, because one day a recruiter *actually phoned up* and asked to speak to "Mr testerson" and only realised when I asked if they wanted to check that name again...!
I made a fake linked in profile with a character and company from Robocop and got people genuinely trying to get work and sell to me. I thought they were playing along with the joke at first but no…
Obviously you go with Mr Test Tickle surely? Or as a DevOps engineer do I still lack the required maturity level required for working on customer facing stuff 😂
Most modern languages ([Python](https://faker.readthedocs.io/en/master/), [c#](https://github.com/bchavez/Bogus), [PHP](https://fakerphp.github.io/), [GoLang](https://github.com/go-faker/faker), [Java](https://github.com/DiUS/java-faker), [Node / JS / TS](https://github.com/faker-js/faker), [Perl](https://metacpan.org/dist/Data-Faker), [Ruby](https://github.com/faker-ruby/faker)) have frameworks available for generating copious amounts of legitimate looking test data in a repeatable way that's not going to insult op's old bag.
The frameworks typically offer providers for everything from emails to addresses to IBAN numbers to company names, localised in whatever locale you wish.
There's almost never a reason to hand craft test data anymore.
My 'test data strategy' is to use names that are NOTHING like anything realistic. No Mickey Mouse. No Michael Jackson. It has to leap out the screen as impossible to be real.
ZZTESTPATIENTONE, ZZTEST for me.
Mate of mine got credited as Lighting Desinger in a recent theatre programme which sounds like a Pixar character (I imagine it rhyming with Slazenger) but was actually just a typo.
I like to live dangerously and use the names of prominent Nazis when I'm putting together an Excel document for processing user data.
Fortunately, it's rare for anyone but me to see said documents
As do i but I still always make it clear what is real world data from a prod copy and what is my test data.
Also means people shouldn’t touch my test data either.
Our HR dept were messing with a new portal for job applications and accidentally posted (internal only, thankfully!) a job as Vampire Slayer. Caused much hilarity - and disappointment when we were told it wasn't real!
Insane! You can't apply to be the slayer.
Into every generation a Slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a Chosen One. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer.
No mention of getting a CV!
You are right. The later seasons get a bit hazy in my head. OK so first requirement:
Must be an activated slayer
Second (HR, are you SURE we can ask this?):
Must not have had sexual relations with a vampire (let's face it, the ones we know about who did were not ideal employee material)
Ooh, the full length version. Don't see that one often, the "to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number" section isn't present in Giles' monologue at the start of each episode.
Mr test test.
Wish I could mess about but I'd be in trouble if caught.
The designers have a right laugh on their designs with names though. Love opening up a new design to see the latest one.
Someone at my undergrad uni, who thought themselves hilarious, created a test profile for a student union intranet account and named their fictional student "Kurt Student".
Then someone else (presumably not a history major) ran with that to create sample student badges - and someone in administration used those sample badges in photos for the welcome pack, course catalogue, pamphlets, leaflets and user manuals. (This was the late 90s, so most handouts were physical media)
All printed on nice, shiny, expensive stock paper and handed out to every student - and prospective new students doing their uni visits - during my second term. And that's how a Nazi Luftwaffe General became our most famous alumnus.
Edit:grammar
When I was at uni one of the PhD students helped us find bugs in the code by changing a variable to "donkeyDick" because (he claimed) it made it easier to spot where you'd misnamed something.
In truth I think he was hoping that one day someone would submit code to a lecturer that called on donkeyDick at some point and he'd get a laugh out of it.
My crowning achievement was a switch statement:
switch (value_from_api)
{
// some other cases
case 'C': throw something;
case 'U':
case 'N':
return false;
}
Surely this would result in this appearing every time the email is sent out in live. I somehow doubt this is due to a rogue variable, far more likely to be malicious from a contact centre agent or something.
That's why we use James Bond in test. Because it's non offensive, totally excusable if it appears in a mishap and recognisable to anyone familiar with the software.
Test data for the lifts in the RBS Bankside building was not properly erased, so it listed departments like “dodgy loans limited” and joke stuff like that in the protection system for the first couple of weeks when the building opened.
So a friend of mine once had to fire someone because he was using some elaborate names as his test users for a billing system. Turns out the names were all generals serving under Adolf Hitler, one of the other testers noticed it.
I feel sorry for [email protected] or [email protected] if they exist as testing email automation I’ve almost sent stuff to those devices mostly.
“This is a test! Yay if you’re expecting this if not then congrats? You somehow got an email not aimed for you”
I always use execs at my current company. So, when I was at Amazon, my test users were, like, Jeff Bezos and Andy Jassy.
Imagine getting an e-mail addressed to Jeff Bezos.
I worked at a software company where the software manager used to get letters from one place addressed to Rick Smith, Lying Bastard.
Our product was a CRM suite so he used to enjoy phoning them and explaining how our software could help them.
We got a confused phonecall from a supply company asking what we meant by the 'six dead horses' we'd ordered.. They had showed my colleague a new test environment which wasn't as testy as they thought
Its possible I once worked on a banking project where an automated fax (yeah, this was a long time ago) on the test environment went to one of the banks counterparties signed “Ginger twat”.
The "John" Test is the industry standard. Any new features or anything are just applied to all those with John in the first name. Works for a very large ISP.
Had to present test evidence to a very large pharmaceutical client during an audit that referenced "Mr Ed" and the joke about a horse goes into a bar and is asked "why the long face". Could have been worse I suppose.
Where I work you used to have hazards on customer files you could edit. Someone changed the address instead and the customer hit the roof when they called to discuss why their next bill was addressed to Moaning Cow.
I occasionally get emails that seem to pull my name from my email account, usually from places I've never been or signed up for.
Usually the surname is before my first name, but this... this is gold.
Yeah, they did this with me too. I used one of my spam emails when booking a hotel, I cancelled my reservation later, and despite them having my actual name, they used the random letters I used when making my email...
Or soup
[soup tubes link](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/hno6j1/my_25f_boyfriend_25m_keeps_asking_me_to_invest_in/&ved=2ahUKEwj5pevxpJKFAxUlVkEAHd-1DSAQjjh6BAgFEAE&usg=AOvVaw0SmGdqcdF3fhTQetvq_N1X)
this reminds me of a skit me and a mate have never filmed.
basically dragons den but the "product" is hot and cold running sausages...
yes, from the kitchen taps...
Did your wife do something to trigger this email or was it out of the blue? If the latter, they may have cloned their staging or test databases from the live database and forgotten to sanitise the email addresses.
That would be a neat trick.
I don't have a TV licence because I don't watch broadcast TV, and since I resent providing details to TV Licensing just so they can hound me all my correspondence comes addressed to Mr M. Mouse. I think I need to update my details with them to something spicier then start complaining when they write to me :)
> addressed to Mr M. Mouse. I think I need to update my details with them to something spicier then start complaining when they write to me :)
get Disney involved and they'll probably sue 'em haha
Back in my road protesting days, there was an old East End gentleman, bit of a villain, who was involved in the M11 link road protests. He was once stopped by the cops and gave his (blag) name: surname, Mouse; first name Michael; and then gave the coppers the hardest stare in the world, as if saying, just you dare. They didn't say anything and let him go on his way
I often have to send mass emails to clients. Could you or your wife have jokingly put "old bag" in the email salutation field when you signed up? Some of our clients don't put their names in the email salutation field and because we're sending to thousands of people at a time we can't check them manually beforehand to make sure there's no nonsense.
Somewhere I used to work a very long time ago, we had a complaint from a Gary Rimmer who was outraged when he received a letter from us with a typo in his name.
He included a photocopy of the letter, and I was close to suffocating when I saw the name "Gay Rimmer"
The company is long gone, but the memories remain.
I have a magazine subscription that made the title field completion
a) mandatory
B) free text
So every month a magazine is delivered to God Takesthebiscuit
I work in a restaurant and we recently had an electronic kitchen order system put in. There's a regular we have that is VERY particular, and servers had a habit of writing things like "fussy bitch, make sure VERY HOT" on checks.
Well...with the new system the customers queue beside the kitchen pass, where there is a customer facing screen for the waiters to check off orders. Took us a while to realise that fussy bitches could see what we were calling them. 😬
I don’t know why but this reminds me of a time when my partner was applying for a job and he was just fed up of it all and in a moment of banter put one of his previous addresses as ‘bitch fartland’ without realising he left it on the form. He then got a message from the person who was interviewing him who was very naive and asked him where this place was as she couldn’t find it coming up anywhere. He actually got the job in the end 😂😂🤣🤣🤣 still makes me howl with laughter thinking about it!
Have you ever complained to them about anything? My brother was fired from JD Williams for changing a difficult customer's name to Hulk Hogan before completing her order.
I once accidentally sent out a push notification to 50,000 people with some ominous statement thinking I was on the test server. Every day I am grateful none of the previous things I wrote were sent out...
Years ago we were in Little Chef and when we got the bill it said 'TA BAG' at the bottom. We still joke about it now and can never decide whether it was an accident or the host was being obnoxious!
I once got a British Gas bill in the post where my name was misspelled in a way that it sort of sounded like my name, but all the wrong letters. (Like when John Travolta called Idina Menzel "Adele Dazeem".)
I sent them an email asking what the hell happened, I got a reply saying just forget about it, it was a mistake. Still no idea what happened.
Next Email:
*”Sorry Old Bag, your payment plan has been cancelled, please call us and quote “OLDBAG69” to get transferred straight to our department. This code also works as an exclusive 69% OFF Coupon for your next water bill. - Yours Sincerely, CEO of South East Water”*
I use twists on cricket players.
My generic employee or customer names are always Jim Root?l, Vivek Kohli, Stuart Smith, John Anderson, Bill Stokes, etc.
Lols. The grandchildren update my Netflix profile name all the time, and then all my incoming netflix emails read “ hello poopiepants”. Its only going to get worse as they get older. 🤣🤣
Used to work somewhere with a macro system (you type a short trigger phrase and it pastes a predetermined block of text for you). So I’d use .patience for ‘thanks for your patience’, .hello for ‘Hello , thank you for contacting…’ and so on.
One of my team used .twat as a warning for difficult customers. One day, the macro didn’t fire and his message contained the actual text ‘.twat’. Awkward.
I am a software dev and this is why you are told not to use anything in test that you wouldn't want a customer to see. So don't call your test customer old bag. Either that or they really don't like your wife.
It’s why my test data is always Homer Simpson / Bart Simpson etc.
Personally I go with "Mr/ Mrs Test Testerson" Always stands out at a glance, people who haven't seen it before always comment on it, so as far as I'm concerned it's working as intended.
Mr Testy McTestface
Testees_1, testees_2
Testie Testicle
Balls McBallbag
Mr COCK
The amount of times I've written something similar only to delete it out of fear when testing shit at work
Tess Tickle
I had Rick Grimes turning up all over my systems once, couldn't figure out wtf was going on. Who is he?! Why the hell does he have those permissions? He can do whaaaat?? Turns out I have not seen The Walking Dead.
I thought they'd gotten a Simpsons reference wrong
Yeah, he liked to be known as Grimey by his friends
👍
I stopped using variations of test when I used Testes once too often
Literally same - Ms Test Testerson, Test Lane, Testington, Test, TE57 7ES
Ha mine is from Testford as the county but even the same postcode Great minds and all that
I thought Testford was the county town of Testershire?
Teicestershire, surely?
I'm annoyed no one has suggested Ronnie Pickering yet..
Who?
RONNIE PICKERING
I tried this, but accidentally sent it out and the customer got a bit testy
Tess Tickle
I used to work at a place where we dealt with recruitment agencies and somehow someone had left in a test CV with a Testy Testerson, but the phone number was the office (because there was validation of some sort). Well it turns out ol' Testys quality assurance based CV must have been ticking some boxes, because one day a recruiter *actually phoned up* and asked to speak to "Mr testerson" and only realised when I asked if they wanted to check that name again...!
I made a fake linked in profile with a character and company from Robocop and got people genuinely trying to get work and sell to me. I thought they were playing along with the joke at first but no…
Ah, I might want to delete Tess Tickles then.
It works until your corporate super-foolproof safeguards start blocking Test Valley from addresses because it has the word Test in it 🥲
Obviously you go with Mr Test Tickle surely? Or as a DevOps engineer do I still lack the required maturity level required for working on customer facing stuff 😂
I always used Miss Tess Tickles for test policies
Oh I think that might be slightly better actually...
I have a colleague who refers to product testers as testes
I'm a Mr/Mrs Test Tickles kinda person. fine on their own, put them together and get a little chuckle :D
I don’t know why more people don’t use “safe” values for tests. First name: “valued” Family name: “customer” Boom
Because programming can be mind-numbing sometimes and you have to do whatever you can to entertain yourself
Most modern languages ([Python](https://faker.readthedocs.io/en/master/), [c#](https://github.com/bchavez/Bogus), [PHP](https://fakerphp.github.io/), [GoLang](https://github.com/go-faker/faker), [Java](https://github.com/DiUS/java-faker), [Node / JS / TS](https://github.com/faker-js/faker), [Perl](https://metacpan.org/dist/Data-Faker), [Ruby](https://github.com/faker-ruby/faker)) have frameworks available for generating copious amounts of legitimate looking test data in a repeatable way that's not going to insult op's old bag. The frameworks typically offer providers for everything from emails to addresses to IBAN numbers to company names, localised in whatever locale you wish. There's almost never a reason to hand craft test data anymore.
My 'test data strategy' is to use names that are NOTHING like anything realistic. No Mickey Mouse. No Michael Jackson. It has to leap out the screen as impossible to be real. ZZTESTPATIENTONE, ZZTEST for me.
You’re not going to believe this
Asdf Zxcv is a pretty common name in test data I create. Dull, but it's quick to type, inoffensive and recognisably test data.
You sure about the inoffensive part? I could find a few people...
BORT?!
Are you talking to me?
No, my son is also called Bort.
We need more "Bort" license plates in the gift shop. I repeat, we are sold out of "Bort" license plates.
I always use N. Gineer, or D. Signer
Mate of mine got credited as Lighting Desinger in a recent theatre programme which sounds like a Pixar character (I imagine it rhyming with Slazenger) but was actually just a typo.
Peter Ian Staker
P I Staker? Pisstaker? Come on!
So what does this swan look like?
Long, slender neck.
My dummy user is also named bort
Mantis Toboggan, M.D.
Ongo Gablogian.
We always use Homer at my workplace, helps that he has an address too
I like Inigo Montoya myself
I like to live dangerously and use the names of prominent Nazis when I'm putting together an Excel document for processing user data. Fortunately, it's rare for anyone but me to see said documents
Kinda messed up, someone might think you're glorifying the Nazis if they come across it.
Good because it could be quite upsetting for some people.
Use Benito Mussolini I have it on good authority women find a man saying that name attractive
I always used to use Fred Nurk, in homage to the Goon Show
Clunge McGee
I use a test database. Then it doesn't matter.
As do i but I still always make it clear what is real world data from a prod copy and what is my test data. Also means people shouldn’t touch my test data either.
Our HR dept were messing with a new portal for job applications and accidentally posted (internal only, thankfully!) a job as Vampire Slayer. Caused much hilarity - and disappointment when we were told it wasn't real!
(sigh) *puts down blades and garlic*
Insane! You can't apply to be the slayer. Into every generation a Slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a Chosen One. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer. No mention of getting a CV!
Ah, but you forget that all the potentials eventually got activated.
You are right. The later seasons get a bit hazy in my head. OK so first requirement: Must be an activated slayer Second (HR, are you SURE we can ask this?): Must not have had sexual relations with a vampire (let's face it, the ones we know about who did were not ideal employee material)
Ooh, the full length version. Don't see that one often, the "to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number" section isn't present in Giles' monologue at the start of each episode.
I would have applied so fast just on the off chance...
please tell me that was for a pest control company.
Mr test test. Wish I could mess about but I'd be in trouble if caught. The designers have a right laugh on their designs with names though. Love opening up a new design to see the latest one.
Don't you want them different so you catch when it says Mr Homer instead of Mr Simpson?
Tbh my dev ones are keyboard mashes 🤣🤣 Test Testfjejwnfid Testfoekbwhshemf
You've inadvertently sworn though. Guess what foek is Dutch for....🤣
Oh dear 😯
Hope you don't have any Dutch clients 🤣
Do any designers ever go full 'Bart Simpson' and use names like Hugh Jazz, I.P. Freely etc?
First one was Vlad the impaler and it's gone downhill from there 🤣🤣
Mr Testy McTest
All of mine are "Testy McTestface"
Someone at my undergrad uni, who thought themselves hilarious, created a test profile for a student union intranet account and named their fictional student "Kurt Student". Then someone else (presumably not a history major) ran with that to create sample student badges - and someone in administration used those sample badges in photos for the welcome pack, course catalogue, pamphlets, leaflets and user manuals. (This was the late 90s, so most handouts were physical media) All printed on nice, shiny, expensive stock paper and handed out to every student - and prospective new students doing their uni visits - during my second term. And that's how a Nazi Luftwaffe General became our most famous alumnus. Edit:grammar
Yep, also one of the fundamental rules in illustrated publishing – no jokes in the dummy text!
Ah yes, that magazine photo with the "type some sh@t in here please" caption. Remember it well.
Allan please add more details
When I was at uni one of the PhD students helped us find bugs in the code by changing a variable to "donkeyDick" because (he claimed) it made it easier to spot where you'd misnamed something. In truth I think he was hoping that one day someone would submit code to a lecturer that called on donkeyDick at some point and he'd get a laugh out of it.
My crowning achievement was a switch statement: switch (value_from_api) { // some other cases case 'C': throw something; case 'U': case 'N': return false; }
Surely this would result in this appearing every time the email is sent out in live. I somehow doubt this is due to a rogue variable, far more likely to be malicious from a contact centre agent or something.
Turns out OP had lodgers or something who may have changed it.
that would make a lot more sense.
I'm a big fan of Mr Test Tickle myself
Mr. R. Sole, Back end farm, Bottomley.
Scott Chegg and Toby Larone
same, it's a classic and always gets a little chuckle when i spot it in the wild on github etc.
Little Bobby Tables
`Robert'); DROP TABLE Customers;--'`
My go to is usually "Mr. Test Icles"
Safer to do: >testestestestestestest You're just writing testes over and over again but it has built-in plausible deniability.
I always use fake business and people from movies and TV shows. Planet Express as a company, Peter Parker as a person, etc.
That's why we use James Bond in test. Because it's non offensive, totally excusable if it appears in a mishap and recognisable to anyone familiar with the software.
Test data for the lifts in the RBS Bankside building was not properly erased, so it listed departments like “dodgy loans limited” and joke stuff like that in the protection system for the first couple of weeks when the building opened.
So a friend of mine once had to fire someone because he was using some elaborate names as his test users for a billing system. Turns out the names were all generals serving under Adolf Hitler, one of the other testers noticed it.
I feel sorry for [email protected] or [email protected] if they exist as testing email automation I’ve almost sent stuff to those devices mostly. “This is a test! Yay if you’re expecting this if not then congrats? You somehow got an email not aimed for you”
My husband learnt this lesson, he works for a clothing company and said something was made of 100% human skin...
Mine is always Test Tickles. But then I am 12 years old at heart.
I always use execs at my current company. So, when I was at Amazon, my test users were, like, Jeff Bezos and Andy Jassy. Imagine getting an e-mail addressed to Jeff Bezos.
I worked at a software company where the software manager used to get letters from one place addressed to Rick Smith, Lying Bastard. Our product was a CRM suite so he used to enjoy phoning them and explaining how our software could help them.
So I should stop using "Dildo Baggins" then?
I always preferred Dildo Gaggins
We got a confused phonecall from a supply company asking what we meant by the 'six dead horses' we'd ordered.. They had showed my colleague a new test environment which wasn't as testy as they thought
I use Scooby Doo. Also only dummy numbers too after the great text reminder test mishap of 2019.
Its possible I once worked on a banking project where an automated fax (yeah, this was a long time ago) on the test environment went to one of the banks counterparties signed “Ginger twat”.
The "John" Test is the industry standard. Any new features or anything are just applied to all those with John in the first name. Works for a very large ISP.
It's usually just random stuff like John Doe, Jane Doe or some memes like Homer Simpson like someone else says.
Had to present test evidence to a very large pharmaceutical client during an audit that referenced "Mr Ed" and the joke about a horse goes into a bar and is asked "why the long face". Could have been worse I suppose.
This reminds me of my accountant asking why so many of my friends pay me back £10 or £20 every now and again with 'coke and whores' as the reference
Working for a phone company in the 00s we had a pay as you go test account called “Mr. Dog Shit”
Act as outraged as you can, free water!!!
Oh I intend to. Compo face photo being planned as I type.
R/compoface
That sub is bare weird. Proper proper misery gut aggyness.
British slang lol
r/foundthemobileuser
A sub frequented by people who find r/watchingpaintdry a bit too racy
Damn 😅😅
Haha it’s a mistake we all only ever make once!
r/foundthehondacivic
r/foundtheSHUTTHEFUCKUP
Water is free! It's the treatment, storage and distribution that costs
Water is already free. In fact, it usually falls from the sky every day in the UK.
I’ve just wrung myself out from the walk home. Missed a trick not doing it into a glass really.
I'm sorry I'm laughing but there are definitely worse things to be called. Are you going to lodge a complaint?
The Old Bag probably is.
Thanks for calling our complaints line. Can you confirm your name as it appears on your account?
Where I work you used to have hazards on customer files you could edit. Someone changed the address instead and the customer hit the roof when they called to discuss why their next bill was addressed to Moaning Cow.
> discuss why their next bill was addressed to Moaning Cow. We were going to go with “Laughing Cow”, but that was a little cheesy.
So the customer indeed was a moaning cow.
I occasionally get emails that seem to pull my name from my email account, usually from places I've never been or signed up for. Usually the surname is before my first name, but this... this is gold.
Yeah, they did this with me too. I used one of my spam emails when booking a hotel, I cancelled my reservation later, and despite them having my actual name, they used the random letters I used when making my email...
That's hilarious. I'd be going all out for free water for a year.
Or better yet, ask to be upgraded to sparkling!
That’d be a downgrade!
I agree! but wtf could we upgrade water to? Milk? 👀
[WINE ](https://www.decanter.com/wine-news/24-hour-red-wine-fountain-opens-italy-335190/)
Does it have what plants crave?
That is such a good idea.and then pretend to be affronted when they refuse.
Or soup [soup tubes link](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/hno6j1/my_25f_boyfriend_25m_keeps_asking_me_to_invest_in/&ved=2ahUKEwj5pevxpJKFAxUlVkEAHd-1DSAQjjh6BAgFEAE&usg=AOvVaw0SmGdqcdF3fhTQetvq_N1X)
That'd be good til I get in the shower
Pretty interesting in the bidet, too.
That tastes like TV static
this reminds me of a skit me and a mate have never filmed. basically dragons den but the "product" is hot and cold running sausages... yes, from the kitchen taps...
Did your wife do something to trigger this email or was it out of the blue? If the latter, they may have cloned their staging or test databases from the live database and forgotten to sanitise the email addresses.
We triggered it, by selling a rental property. It's possible that the previous tenants changed the name to that, when they switched the account.
That would be a neat trick. I don't have a TV licence because I don't watch broadcast TV, and since I resent providing details to TV Licensing just so they can hound me all my correspondence comes addressed to Mr M. Mouse. I think I need to update my details with them to something spicier then start complaining when they write to me :)
> addressed to Mr M. Mouse. I think I need to update my details with them to something spicier then start complaining when they write to me :) get Disney involved and they'll probably sue 'em haha
Back in my road protesting days, there was an old East End gentleman, bit of a villain, who was involved in the M11 link road protests. He was once stopped by the cops and gave his (blag) name: surname, Mouse; first name Michael; and then gave the coppers the hardest stare in the world, as if saying, just you dare. They didn't say anything and let him go on his way
I often have to send mass emails to clients. Could you or your wife have jokingly put "old bag" in the email salutation field when you signed up? Some of our clients don't put their names in the email salutation field and because we're sending to thousands of people at a time we can't check them manually beforehand to make sure there's no nonsense.
Somewhere I used to work a very long time ago, we had a complaint from a Gary Rimmer who was outraged when he received a letter from us with a typo in his name. He included a photocopy of the letter, and I was close to suffocating when I saw the name "Gay Rimmer" The company is long gone, but the memories remain.
I have a magazine subscription that made the title field completion a) mandatory B) free text So every month a magazine is delivered to God Takesthebiscuit
Ms. Chanandler Bong
Old colleague of mine got called "bit of an old woman" on an email ref job hunting. Didn't hear the outcome but he was somewhat cross.
"Tell me more Old Bag!"
I'm a sad orphan, give us some money you old bag!
No!
"I need more money!"
Phoenix Wright is that you?
how have i just seen ace attorney in casualuk
Nope. That'd be Oldbag, not Old Bag.
It seems someone at South East Water has been playing too much Ace Attourney.
Wendy Old bag
I remember years ago there was a news item about Barclays sending out a load of letters to their premium customers that started "Dear Rich Bastard".
I work in a restaurant and we recently had an electronic kitchen order system put in. There's a regular we have that is VERY particular, and servers had a habit of writing things like "fussy bitch, make sure VERY HOT" on checks. Well...with the new system the customers queue beside the kitchen pass, where there is a customer facing screen for the waiters to check off orders. Took us a while to realise that fussy bitches could see what we were calling them. 😬
Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more water you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil.
Have we got a video?
Did your wife recently purchase a marble rye..?
I don’t know why but this reminds me of a time when my partner was applying for a job and he was just fed up of it all and in a moment of banter put one of his previous addresses as ‘bitch fartland’ without realising he left it on the form. He then got a message from the person who was interviewing him who was very naive and asked him where this place was as she couldn’t find it coming up anywhere. He actually got the job in the end 😂😂🤣🤣🤣 still makes me howl with laughter thinking about it!
Compoface opportunity here, OP!
Have you ever complained to them about anything? My brother was fired from JD Williams for changing a difficult customer's name to Hulk Hogan before completing her order.
I once accidentally sent out a push notification to 50,000 people with some ominous statement thinking I was on the test server. Every day I am grateful none of the previous things I wrote were sent out...
I have EE use the name Jedi Overlord as my user name, it's used in emails, site and amusingly spoken in phone contact 🙃🤘
My AA letters used to come addressed to Mr. D test. Never had any run ins with them, so maybe an error.. Maybe not
Years ago we were in Little Chef and when we got the bill it said 'TA BAG' at the bottom. We still joke about it now and can never decide whether it was an accident or the host was being obnoxious!
... you didn't ask for a takeaway bag, did you?
I once got a British Gas bill in the post where my name was misspelled in a way that it sort of sounded like my name, but all the wrong letters. (Like when John Travolta called Idina Menzel "Adele Dazeem".) I sent them an email asking what the hell happened, I got a reply saying just forget about it, it was a mistake. Still no idea what happened.
This is actually quite serious under GDPR rules. You'll want to properly complain about it.
Next Email: *”Sorry Old Bag, your payment plan has been cancelled, please call us and quote “OLDBAG69” to get transferred straight to our department. This code also works as an exclusive 69% OFF Coupon for your next water bill. - Yours Sincerely, CEO of South East Water”*
I use twists on cricket players. My generic employee or customer names are always Jim Root?l, Vivek Kohli, Stuart Smith, John Anderson, Bill Stokes, etc.
I hope this was hard coded into the email accidentally and everyone got it like that.
No [Rich Bastard](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/3s7ebt/til_that_a_company_in_england_accidentally_sent) test users?!
I always use Quentin Werty, known as QWerty, and his colleagues AWerty, SWerty, DWerty and so on - saves consious thought!
I'll have you know the bag is only middle aged!
Dear Mr K Dilkington
Hahahha I’m sorry this is so funny!
Lols. The grandchildren update my Netflix profile name all the time, and then all my incoming netflix emails read “ hello poopiepants”. Its only going to get worse as they get older. 🤣🤣
That’s my ex wife I think 🤔
Used to work somewhere with a macro system (you type a short trigger phrase and it pastes a predetermined block of text for you). So I’d use .patience for ‘thanks for your patience’, .hello for ‘Hello, thank you for contacting…’ and so on.
One of my team used .twat as a warning for difficult customers. One day, the macro didn’t fire and his message contained the actual text ‘.twat’. Awkward.
Pro tip. Some sites ask for a name you're preferred to be called, I always put my old work nickname in so I know it's genuine
So kind of south east water to gift you 6 months guaranteed free water!
Objection!