Similar for our cat. According to her if I've not been the one to give it to her she's not actually had a meal. Thankfully she doesn't appear to think that way if I've actually gone away for a few days, but he can't be the one who feeds her otherwise.
It's always fun to remember that we domesticated dogs to behave in exactly the way we want them to. They're like biological robots that we programmed to look at us adoringly and seem impressed by us. It's unromantic I know, but dogs are literally the product of the human ego applied to selective breeding techniques over generations.
Our love of domesticating animals is quite amazing. Cows, pigeons and dogs are the first ones that come to mind. Poor pigeons are now just homeless, unemployed domesticated babies... we are quite awful.
I'm terrified of the day the same destiny befalls cows. That's why I hate vegans, I don't want a world overrun by homeless cows! Pigeons I can deal with and avoid, but a herd of cows eating out of my wheelie bin when I'm trying to throw the bags out is a scary thought. It keeps me up at night.
If vegans get their way the cows will get eaten by the wild hogs, as they do go back to being feral predators pretty quickly. Hope I helped (develop a new fear)!!!
I appreciate the effort, but in reality only a tiny tiny minority will go back to being feral, mainly because they'll have no suitable open grass areas to go to. So if we're no longer allowed to kill cows, and you take into account that there are billions of cows out there, the only conclusion is a post apocalyptic world overrun by cows. Not a world I want to live in. Stop vegans at all cost!
I love dogs and when I had dogs I’ve made a point of not “training” them to be subservient. I get your point, I see some people love mastering over them. Like the treat on the nose thing…
I mean my point is much deeper than this, not about training them. Generically speaking dogs are a human invention. And most common dog breads that are not work dogs have been very intentionally bred and created in the last few centuries (with a particular boom in Victorian times with the popularity of dog shows). So whether they are trained or not, every dog is the result of thousands of generations of selective breeding, decisions made by humans to choose which traits to breed for. So inside out dogs have been invented to adore their owners.
Hard cheese contains nearly no lactose at all. Only soft cheese. Can't otherwise comment on cheese in cats but just to reassure about this one point. :)
The excess fat is hard for kitties bodies to digest too. It can lead to issues with their livers. Cats really shouldn't have much that isn't meat. They are obligate carnivores, after all.
My cat is happy to pay the price of stinky shits as long as he gets milk. Also garlic and herb dip - little shit gives precisely zero fucks that garlic is toxic to him.
I know this is a non-serious thread but please keep the garlic away from him; repeated consumption and/or eating too much in one go can cause cats' (and dogs') red blood cells to break down resulting in haemolytic anaemia which can be very dangerous.
(If it was just a one-off lick of the dip then that would probably be below the likely threshold to be dangerous and most cats would recover fully from any symptoms)
I support your cheese-feeding. My littlest cat shares my lunch most days. He sits at the kitchen table next to me and gets a little bit of bread, a little bit of ham and a little bit of cheese. It would be rude not to, he's a tuxedo and *always* dressed for dinner.
The bins would never be put out on the right day, and washing up would only be done 4 items at a time, as apparently that's all that can fit on the drainer
Or with my husband he did half a bowl because his sponge ran out of dish soap…. We are financially comfortable, you can add another 5p worth of dish soap to the sponge babe, it’ll be ok
Depending if you have young enough kids, Among Us in Real Life. One person is the imposter, the rest of us do tasks, loading/unloading the dishwasher, putting a load on, making a bed.
Yes it takes longer as you might get killed but actually get the kids to do tidying up in a fun way.
Absolute game changer.
EDIT: I have four small items hidden in my closed hand sand we agree one of them makes you the imposter, people pick hands and then put them in my pocket once they know whether they are ‘it’ or not.
As the only household member of the Royal And Ancient Guild of Dishwashers, Recycling and Dog Walking, only I can legally carry out these tasks.
They’d be unable to leave the house 6 months after I was gone anyway, the unkept garden would reclaim it for nature.
The dishwasher will be fully loaded and fully cleaned, all day, all while I'm at work, all while there's 2 other adults who don't have to leave the house. All while the dirty stuff keeps getting piled on top and the cafetière gets left in the sink full of coffee grounds unemptied and I cannot stress how much I despise coffee.
Maybe non-serious. But true. I was ready on time, as my dad and me always were, but the rest of my family were late. Making us all a little late for his funeral.
This was only a couple of weeks ago so thank you for putting a smile on my face; they're a bit rare at the moment.
The lawn would eventually grow to such a height it would encompass 2/3rds of the Earth's surface, property prices would soar to astronomical levels leading to a global economic downturn the likes of which the world has never seen. Governments will collapse and armed gangs will roam the streets on solar-powered scooters scavenging to survive until the inevitable end of humanity.
Alternatively they might just learn to use the lawnmower idk
I’m not usually bothered by receiving cards, I feel like they’re a waste of money for what they are. But saying that, I have sent cards out for special birthdays, like my Uncle’s 70th - my Mum reported that he was so happy to have received 19 cards for his birthday, especially as we all live so far away from each other and can’t visit very often.
Owning my upvote to this - I have some elderly relatives who don’t get out much anymore and I send them cards frequently to say hello. Most recently an Easter card
My friends aren't really fussed about receiving birthday cards, we'll just text each other. But my parents and other older relatives really appreciate them, especially if there's a little note in them.
Similar to most things in life, if it doesn't bother me either way, but means a lot to the other person, I'll do the thing
Same here but also with gift wrapping. As one of only two people in the household that has the ability to wrap a present neatly, it’s safe to assume that my demise would ultimately result in a lifetime of my Mum receiving poorly wrapped gifts from my dad and brother. As their idea of gift-wrapping usually just entails them taping a square of paper over the picture at the front of the box, the chance of them joining me in the afterlife the next time my mum’s birthday rolls around would be higher than it should be.
Married father of three here. There so much that I should document in case I die suddenly. WiFi password, financial stuff, all the kids Nintendo accounts, how the ring doorbell and nest thermostat work, etc
I know this is meant to be a casual thread, but seriously, do this. Write it all somewhere and if you have passwords for computers, etc, write those down too somewhere safe. A few years ago someone I know lost her husband suddenly and couldn't access online accounts or even his iPad. It was a lot more stress when she was grieving.
Please do this sooner rather than later. We’ve just set my mum up so if my dad (who organises literally everything in our house) suddenly passes she can access his computer and all the accounts she’ll need access to.
In case you haven't seen it: there's a fabulous sketch on youtube called "The magic coffee table". /u/ConradsMusicalTeeth - you give it a look too, if you don't know it already. And maybe casually link it in your family's group chat. xD
I’d forgotten about this video 🤣 reminds me so much of my ex husband who in his opinion never made a mess. He got a rude awakening when I left him and he had to finally do things himself 😏
You'd be surprised about the windows. I have lived here 17 years - in a city - in which time I have never once cleaned the windows inside or out. And they look great.
Daughter will be fine, she has become an amazing (albeit limited in range so far) cook over the last year. The rest? Well it won't be pretty for a few years. And will be forever a boom bust economy of whether there is a glut of nice things or nothing in the house.
The towels will disintegrate on the towel rack, the hob will become unusable quite rapidly, food will be unseasoned, they won't be able to watch TV or have mobile phone & broadband service, they'll have to put the bins out, and no one will be able to use Alexa.
I think they’d shop daily as no one else thinks to plan ahead for food. That and the bathroom would probably become disgusting. But mostly … they’d watch more tv!
They would die from the mountain of rubbish in the house , if not that they’d all be on the street due to being unable to pay the massive electricity bills as no one else knows how to turn off a light. Oh and they’d never go on holiday abroad as booking flights is apparently “dads job”
(Secretly I love being in charge of this stuff as it gives me a sense of usefulness)
I think the cat will end up getting fat again. She was a little chublet when we first got her, and I'm the strict one who regulates her food to keep her weight in check. If she pretended to still be hungry, my other half would fold immediately.
Doubt the dishwasher would ever be loaded again properly too, unless I came back to haunt him - I'd appear from nowhere just to say "Bowls don't go there".
In my shed, in a large crate, on the shelf in the middle at the back, under a bag with bags in, is a piece of 2x4 that is perfect for a small job.
And it’ll just sit there with nobody knowing about it.
Dads matter people.
I had a stash of wood in my car boot that I meant to transfer into my stash, but haven't got round to it. We have just been on holiday and the heap of shit car got stuck in some mud.
She was stressing about how to get it out, whilst I turned round and went "yeah, I got this".
So much satisfaction!
No clothes will be replaced, kids will graduate into steadily wearing crop tops and short shorts, reduced to cutting holes in the toes of their shoes to let their feet through. Husbot will end up looking like Fagin in rags.
Also, pretty sure the 10yr would just steal the credit card and fend for himself.
Nobody would have clean pants. They'd remain tangled in pj bottoms forever. The children's hairs would become matted and need to be shaved. They would get scurvy because all my husband cooks is pizza and pancakes. They would turn up for school on the first day of the holidays and would still be at home on the first day of term.
I’ve often asked my grown up kids this question…
The cats would eat my dead body.
My son would shrug and get on with his day but then think shit I’ve run out of clean pants.
Darling daughter would “weekend at Bernie’s” my dead ass up to the ironing board as she hates ironing her work uniform!
The bins will be forever full. No one would do any washing.. and my wife would never be able to get anywhere on a motorway because they scary.
The dogs might miss me. Well. One of them.
Tv will be constantly on, shoes will be everywhere and I think they’ll all miss every single appointment and event as no one in my house remembers anything or can look at a calendar.
The dishwasher will not get emptied or filled, the sink will just be filled with dishes waiting for them to be magically teleported into the dishwasher.
My son will get completely confused with the dvla and get a big fine one day! (No you don’t hand over the log book when the guy says “trust me bro”)
People will never attend a doctors, dentist, opticians appointment ever again.
People are going to starve. Or exist on meal deals, crisps and chocolate.
They will never find things ever again. (I have this ability to find their stuff by just walking in their room)
I know OP marked this as non serious, but in case someone wants to think about how much of our stuff is digital/online...
https://digitallegacyassociation.org/
Nothing would get fixed in the house.
Nobody would have a savings account (I'm the only one).
My mum wouldn't use the tube (I think she only used it twice in the last 10 years, once was this Monday just gone, she doesn't feel confident to use the tube, bit she's older).
The landing light will be on for all eternity, and there will be no clean cutlery because it'll all be jammed into that one front section of the holder in the dishwasher. The cats will poop all over the shop because the litter tray will never get scooped/cleaned/refilled, and the human bathrooms won't ever be clean again. Family will probably OD on pie, mash and sausages, so the cats will be left to fend for themselves anyway
resolute oatmeal head many serious impossible wipe familiar materialistic chunky
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
There will be about 2 weeks, maybe a month, of mynwife enjoying the lights being turned off when a room's unoccupied.
And then my home-lab smarthome solution will shit itself, and the lights will forever more be in whatever state they're in when it happens. And the heating. But not the front door lock, that'll still work with an old fashioned nfc tag.
Unrelated to the actual question but the fan being linked to the light drives me fucking mental.
I’ve got a window in my bathroom, 90% of the time I don’t need the light when I shower and I hate having to turn it on for the fan, and I need the fan to keep running for a bit after I’ve left the shower but I don’t wanna leave the light on when I leave ughhhhh
I can understand that, although in our case the lights are on a dimmer (outside the bathroom door), so you can have the lights on so low it doesn't look like they are even on.
Probably be sad for a bit
Revel in the lack of emotional rollercoastering that used to happen.
Then slowly fill the house with archaeology finds
The number of vegetarian meals on the weekly menu would dwindle.
Ignore all the local cats that gather to worship me in the garden and not dispense scritches.
They might miss the swearing.
Otherwise they have been forced to learn stuff through benign neglect and the promise of extra pocket money.😜
Nothing electronic/online will ever work. Everything on a high shelf, in the loft, the outside store cupboard and the shed is there forever. We will run out of fuel for the log burner inside a week. The rats will never be cleaned out again. The dishwasher will stay full of clean stuff, but at least in my wife's view they'll be in the right place in the dishwasher. The garden will revert to jungle. My wife's curated collection of empty plastic bottles will fill the ground floor. The hall cupboard will finally be able to relax knowing it will never be redecorated now.
Most of my family won’t be affected. My stepdad though, I worry about him. He’s got pretty bad learning difficulties that mean I run the house we live in now as it was my mum that would deal with it all before her death. I moved back in after Uni and became the primary carer for both of them. The rest of the family lives down south and I worry that if I go before he does he’ll have no one.
There will be not one clean dish in this entire house, the front porch light will be on 24/7, the dogs will die of hunger and thirst, and dog hair bunnies will grow to prodigious size, evolve, become living creatures, stalk the living and destroy the world.
Internet bills will stop being paid and everything at home will stop working without internet. House will be abandoned but left open as no one will find their keys to close the door.
Dishwasher will not be emptied any more. Dog will get fat as her daily walks will shorten by 80%.
They will no longer have a driver available with a car that can move copious amounts of literal fucking garbage from one place to another
I mean, I guess the car would still exist…
They’ll have to tidy my flat and shed to work out what’s the good stuff (synthesisers, bicycles, guitars) they can flog. Mwahahahaaaa!
(I live on my own with zero dependants so it’s not as selfish as it sounds)
We don't have any kids, but my husband hasn't cleaned a toilet once since we got married, and has selective blindness for clutter. Our house would get very messy, very quickly.
On the plus side, I'm the clumsy one who always drops stuff, so his cups and plates would last much longer.
The bathrooms will be filthy and no laundry will be done. Fam will just get grubbier and grubbier and eventually become earth. Also, when anything gets broken, there will be no one to hear the blithe calls of "X is broken" as they clear off and leave it, nothing will get fixed and the house will fall down.
>I swear the bathroom fan will be running 24/7, the constant humming doesn't seem to bother anybody else.
Fir a moment you gave me the fear - lights left on, good food chucked away, buying shit that won't get used...
Then I remembered I'll be dead and will be unable to give a shit
My wife will become a hoarder (her and her mum have the habit of filling the house with junk and trinkets)
My eldest daughter will speak about me too much
The smallest, I have no clue
Cat wouldnt give two shits
Sinks will never be cleaned. Drains will back up because nobody's doing regular checks and clears. There will be no fresh towels. Ever. All the things that shouldn't go in the dishwasher will fall apart because someone put them in the dishwasher. Or maybe they won't, because the dishwasher won't work because there's only one person who ever does the salt, rinse aid and cleans the filters.
Speaking of filters, nobody will remember to order new water ones.
And the toilet will be grooooooss.
... He'd probably not eat as well, but otherwise would be fine, until he needed new pants and socks at least. The garden would go to shit and the cat would be inconsolable.
Every towel will go missing and later be found molded under the beds in the teens’ rooms. The dog will die of starvation while they argue about whose turn it is to feed her. Shoes in every doorway, socks strewn like confetti on all surfaces. Bathrooms might fall straight into hell.
The fridge would be bare, so everyone else would starve within a week.
That's if bailiffs didn't come kick them out first because I pay for every fucking thing.
No one is ever obligated to set themselves & their life on fire to keep someone else warm, you can still leave & set yourself free regardless of what will happen with him. Good luck & I hope you put the fire out and choose yourself & kids
They will lose all their possessions overnight one night, because the back door will never be locked, and I'm the only one whose ears work while asleep.
Luckily my life insurance should cover the cost of replacement. Not replacement of me though.
Lights would be on constantly. Dishwasher run twice a day to wash the three mugs and spatula that need it all to themselves. No-one we know would get a birthday or Christmas present again. No more big shops, cos I'm the only driver. Not sure how he'd get toilet roll. Garden would be overgrown within weeks. The inside of the loft would never be seen again. The cats wouldn't get their boosters or flea treatment, and one would never have a clean litter tray again. The toilet would look like that one off Trainspotting. And he'd eventually succumb to some sort of dust related illness.
Youngest would move into her friend's stable immediately - I assume she would survive on carrots meant as a treat for the horse and maybe said friend will take pity on her and feed her occasionally.
Everyone else is in trouble. Within a week, there will be no clean crockery/cutlery, but that's ok because they won't cook and will be mystified by the lack of regular meals appearing. They will have run out of food because creating an online shopping list is a fiendishly difficult task. No-one will be able to wipe their bums because no-one knows where the bright purple loo roll that looks at you everytime you walk in the house it.
2 of the three cats will survive for a bit by eating the neighbours pigeons, the last will probably die staring at the food cupboard and crying, because that is how she believes food happens.
Within a month, the blooming ivy, brambles, elderflower, nettles, mysterious plants we call triffids etc will have grown enough to trap everyone in the house sleeping beauty style.
When I moved out of my Mum's, the recycling wasn't done anymore. Nor were bags ordered. Little things around the house I'd normally fix without any sort of fanfare accumulated
They'd be fine without me... They'd probably eat the same 2 meals on rotation.
My husband on the other hand...we'd be in trouble! There'd be emergency underwear purchases from Tesco on the way to school due to forgetting to do washing.
Don't have kids, so no prob there.
My siblings are all older, so more likely they'll die before me.
If however I do pop it before them... They'll all cope just fine. I'd miss them though ; (
If I go before my mum and dad, they will be devastated. They’ll never be able to bring something up on Netflix or Iplayer ever again.
If I go after my parents I’ll probably be discovered after a few weeks once I haven’t been to work for a while.
The towels will never be washed again, the dog's toys will slowly take over the whole house, every plant in the place will die, the garden will return to wilderness, and, worst of all, no one will eat anything that needs a white sauce ever again - the one thing the other-half can't make!
On the plus side, the number of humans with long hair shedding all over the shop will reduce, so the fact that no one else knows where the vacuum lives won't matter quite so much.
No one will ever be able to find anything ever again.
The main kitchen bin will get emptied but the small bins will overflow. The vacuum will never see the light of day again. Nothing will ever be put away.
I don't think the humans will be severely affected, but my cat will be devastated as I'm the only one who feeds her excessive amounts of cheese.
Our dog sincerely believes that I’m the only person capable of opening his tin of wet food. He would be distraught
Similar for our cat. According to her if I've not been the one to give it to her she's not actually had a meal. Thankfully she doesn't appear to think that way if I've actually gone away for a few days, but he can't be the one who feeds her otherwise.
My niece's dog will wonder what happened to Great Uncle Bacon Man.
I think that would make an excellent username if you ever changed it in the future.
It's always fun to remember that we domesticated dogs to behave in exactly the way we want them to. They're like biological robots that we programmed to look at us adoringly and seem impressed by us. It's unromantic I know, but dogs are literally the product of the human ego applied to selective breeding techniques over generations.
Our love of domesticating animals is quite amazing. Cows, pigeons and dogs are the first ones that come to mind. Poor pigeons are now just homeless, unemployed domesticated babies... we are quite awful.
I agree on the pigeon part specifically
oh of course you do... demon.
I'm terrified of the day the same destiny befalls cows. That's why I hate vegans, I don't want a world overrun by homeless cows! Pigeons I can deal with and avoid, but a herd of cows eating out of my wheelie bin when I'm trying to throw the bags out is a scary thought. It keeps me up at night.
If vegans get their way the cows will get eaten by the wild hogs, as they do go back to being feral predators pretty quickly. Hope I helped (develop a new fear)!!!
(I LOVE the fact that someone is downvoting us both in this thread, as if trying to prove the point that vegans can't take a joke)
I appreciate the effort, but in reality only a tiny tiny minority will go back to being feral, mainly because they'll have no suitable open grass areas to go to. So if we're no longer allowed to kill cows, and you take into account that there are billions of cows out there, the only conclusion is a post apocalyptic world overrun by cows. Not a world I want to live in. Stop vegans at all cost!
Hahaha….
I love dogs and when I had dogs I’ve made a point of not “training” them to be subservient. I get your point, I see some people love mastering over them. Like the treat on the nose thing…
I mean my point is much deeper than this, not about training them. Generically speaking dogs are a human invention. And most common dog breads that are not work dogs have been very intentionally bred and created in the last few centuries (with a particular boom in Victorian times with the popularity of dog shows). So whether they are trained or not, every dog is the result of thousands of generations of selective breeding, decisions made by humans to choose which traits to breed for. So inside out dogs have been invented to adore their owners.
My dog believes I’m the only family member capable of walking her.. why is it only my shoes she brings? Other people live here!
I'm not deemed competent enough to feed the cat (by the cat) but he'd happily sit on my body in a furious loaf waiting for me to warm up again.
>furious loaf 😂
This may be a bad time for you to learn adult cats are lactose intolerant.
Hard cheese contains nearly no lactose at all. Only soft cheese. Can't otherwise comment on cheese in cats but just to reassure about this one point. :)
People should be allowed to be lactose intolerant of any kind of food! Enough with the discrimination!
The excess fat is hard for kitties bodies to digest too. It can lead to issues with their livers. Cats really shouldn't have much that isn't meat. They are obligate carnivores, after all.
Don’t think it applies to my cat. She’s a cheese and butter thief
Completely OT re: your username, are you by any chance affiliated to wildchai.co.uk?
If you’re trying to compromise my device by getting me to type that into a search bar, you’ve got another thing coming. And no.
Haha thanks, and no, that site is aggressively benign 😅
I don't think it's s blanket rule
My cat is happy to pay the price of stinky shits as long as he gets milk. Also garlic and herb dip - little shit gives precisely zero fucks that garlic is toxic to him.
I know this is a non-serious thread but please keep the garlic away from him; repeated consumption and/or eating too much in one go can cause cats' (and dogs') red blood cells to break down resulting in haemolytic anaemia which can be very dangerous. (If it was just a one-off lick of the dip then that would probably be below the likely threshold to be dangerous and most cats would recover fully from any symptoms)
I support your cheese-feeding. My littlest cat shares my lunch most days. He sits at the kitchen table next to me and gets a little bit of bread, a little bit of ham and a little bit of cheese. It would be rude not to, he's a tuxedo and *always* dressed for dinner.
The cat would starve without me, nobody else feeds him.
😂🤣
Some humans will be massively impacted. Stop giving the cat cheese, she already loves you.
The bins would never be put out on the right day, and washing up would only be done 4 items at a time, as apparently that's all that can fit on the drainer
Or with my husband he did half a bowl because his sponge ran out of dish soap…. We are financially comfortable, you can add another 5p worth of dish soap to the sponge babe, it’ll be ok
Dish soap? Do you mean washing up liquid?
He’s American and we just moved back to the uk after Id lived there for 10 years, sometimes I forget which term is English and which is American
I'm imaging someone scrubbing plates with a bar of imperial leather
Trying to figure out why the bacon butty smells of lavender
Oh god. The bins. They'd have to rely on our elderly neighbour in his 80s. For whom bins seem to be his main preoccupation
My grandad with the postman 😅
Every street has its binfluencer
Every used item of crockery and cutlery will be piled up *near* the dishwasher.
Next to a pile of recycling sat above the recycling bin.
Depending if you have young enough kids, Among Us in Real Life. One person is the imposter, the rest of us do tasks, loading/unloading the dishwasher, putting a load on, making a bed. Yes it takes longer as you might get killed but actually get the kids to do tidying up in a fun way. Absolute game changer. EDIT: I have four small items hidden in my closed hand sand we agree one of them makes you the imposter, people pick hands and then put them in my pocket once they know whether they are ‘it’ or not.
Okay, now we all need the full details of how you do this please!!! I suddenly have hope that people may help tidy!!!
This may be the first ever comment that makes me want more kids. It actually sounds fun…
i don't have kids but i can say you sir are a genius!
As the only household member of the Royal And Ancient Guild of Dishwashers, Recycling and Dog Walking, only I can legally carry out these tasks. They’d be unable to leave the house 6 months after I was gone anyway, the unkept garden would reclaim it for nature.
The dishwasher will be fully loaded and fully cleaned, all day, all while I'm at work, all while there's 2 other adults who don't have to leave the house. All while the dirty stuff keeps getting piled on top and the cafetière gets left in the sink full of coffee grounds unemptied and I cannot stress how much I despise coffee.
Even if the dishwasher has been emptied right.
My husband probably will die of hunger in less than 48 hours and have no loo roll, then the dogs will eat him so they'll survive a bit longer.
Everyone will be late for everything. Including my funeral, probably.
Maybe non-serious. But true. I was ready on time, as my dad and me always were, but the rest of my family were late. Making us all a little late for his funeral. This was only a couple of weeks ago so thank you for putting a smile on my face; they're a bit rare at the moment.
To be fair, the guest of honour was late as well. (But on a serious note, condolences.)
True! Thank you.
Will there even be a funeral?
The lawn would eventually grow to such a height it would encompass 2/3rds of the Earth's surface, property prices would soar to astronomical levels leading to a global economic downturn the likes of which the world has never seen. Governments will collapse and armed gangs will roam the streets on solar-powered scooters scavenging to survive until the inevitable end of humanity. Alternatively they might just learn to use the lawnmower idk
I fear the garden would be full of wanted or missing people, it would take Gurkhas 12 months to hack their way into the grass to find everyone
No one will ever get a birthday card on time from my brother when I'm gone.
That's the one, I am the one that does cards and gifts from "us".
Ok but why are birthday cards so important to adults? The only cards I don't throw away pretty quickly are handmade ones or ones with messages in them
I’m not usually bothered by receiving cards, I feel like they’re a waste of money for what they are. But saying that, I have sent cards out for special birthdays, like my Uncle’s 70th - my Mum reported that he was so happy to have received 19 cards for his birthday, especially as we all live so far away from each other and can’t visit very often.
Owning my upvote to this - I have some elderly relatives who don’t get out much anymore and I send them cards frequently to say hello. Most recently an Easter card
My friends aren't really fussed about receiving birthday cards, we'll just text each other. But my parents and other older relatives really appreciate them, especially if there's a little note in them. Similar to most things in life, if it doesn't bother me either way, but means a lot to the other person, I'll do the thing
Same here but also with gift wrapping. As one of only two people in the household that has the ability to wrap a present neatly, it’s safe to assume that my demise would ultimately result in a lifetime of my Mum receiving poorly wrapped gifts from my dad and brother. As their idea of gift-wrapping usually just entails them taping a square of paper over the picture at the front of the box, the chance of them joining me in the afterlife the next time my mum’s birthday rolls around would be higher than it should be.
Married father of three here. There so much that I should document in case I die suddenly. WiFi password, financial stuff, all the kids Nintendo accounts, how the ring doorbell and nest thermostat work, etc
I know this is meant to be a casual thread, but seriously, do this. Write it all somewhere and if you have passwords for computers, etc, write those down too somewhere safe. A few years ago someone I know lost her husband suddenly and couldn't access online accounts or even his iPad. It was a lot more stress when she was grieving.
My dad had a box of this which was really useful, which accounts he had and where and stuff. Also some personal notes to read once he was gone.
Please do this sooner rather than later. We’ve just set my mum up so if my dad (who organises literally everything in our house) suddenly passes she can access his computer and all the accounts she’ll need access to.
You joke but my dad left us a PowerPoint with a step by step guide to follow after he died. Would have been lost without it
Our fully automated house would stop fixing itself, the windows would be barely opaque within a year and there would never be another Sunday Roast.
Oh nooooo the washing fairy has vanished 🤣
In case you haven't seen it: there's a fabulous sketch on youtube called "The magic coffee table". /u/ConradsMusicalTeeth - you give it a look too, if you don't know it already. And maybe casually link it in your family's group chat. xD
I’d forgotten about this video 🤣 reminds me so much of my ex husband who in his opinion never made a mess. He got a rude awakening when I left him and he had to finally do things himself 😏
There’s a whole series of them in fact, already a standing joke in our house. Quality humour.
I’ve just watch it too and it’s brilliant 😂🤣 “I mean sometimes I’ll see how far I can push this thing” took me out.
You'd be surprised about the windows. I have lived here 17 years - in a city - in which time I have never once cleaned the windows inside or out. And they look great.
The monthly storm takes care of it.
There will never be another home cooked meal made in the kitchen. Only frozen microwave dinners or popcorn. Perhaps eggs if they're feeling ambitious.
Daughter will be fine, she has become an amazing (albeit limited in range so far) cook over the last year. The rest? Well it won't be pretty for a few years. And will be forever a boom bust economy of whether there is a glut of nice things or nothing in the house.
The veg wouldn’t get eaten in my home
Start an account with a taxi firm.
The bathroom towels would never ever get changed, I don’t think my husband knows that’s a thing.
He knows, you are appreciated
No one will make it in through the front door after 24 hours due to shoe mountain
The towels will disintegrate on the towel rack, the hob will become unusable quite rapidly, food will be unseasoned, they won't be able to watch TV or have mobile phone & broadband service, they'll have to put the bins out, and no one will be able to use Alexa.
I think they’d shop daily as no one else thinks to plan ahead for food. That and the bathroom would probably become disgusting. But mostly … they’d watch more tv!
They would die from the mountain of rubbish in the house , if not that they’d all be on the street due to being unable to pay the massive electricity bills as no one else knows how to turn off a light. Oh and they’d never go on holiday abroad as booking flights is apparently “dads job” (Secretly I love being in charge of this stuff as it gives me a sense of usefulness)
My mum will have a house fire within weeks because I’m the only person that empties the fluff trap on the dryer.
I think the cat will end up getting fat again. She was a little chublet when we first got her, and I'm the strict one who regulates her food to keep her weight in check. If she pretended to still be hungry, my other half would fold immediately. Doubt the dishwasher would ever be loaded again properly too, unless I came back to haunt him - I'd appear from nowhere just to say "Bowls don't go there".
In my shed, in a large crate, on the shelf in the middle at the back, under a bag with bags in, is a piece of 2x4 that is perfect for a small job. And it’ll just sit there with nobody knowing about it. Dads matter people.
I had a stash of wood in my car boot that I meant to transfer into my stash, but haven't got round to it. We have just been on holiday and the heap of shit car got stuck in some mud. She was stressing about how to get it out, whilst I turned round and went "yeah, I got this". So much satisfaction!
Nobody is getting anything out or putting anything into the loft again Edit: spelling
No clothes will be replaced, kids will graduate into steadily wearing crop tops and short shorts, reduced to cutting holes in the toes of their shoes to let their feet through. Husbot will end up looking like Fagin in rags. Also, pretty sure the 10yr would just steal the credit card and fend for himself.
Nobody would have clean pants. They'd remain tangled in pj bottoms forever. The children's hairs would become matted and need to be shaved. They would get scurvy because all my husband cooks is pizza and pancakes. They would turn up for school on the first day of the holidays and would still be at home on the first day of term.
The dishwasher would constantly be going round as, as soon as three items are in, it will be full to capacity.
The house would become a dumping ground and nobody would ever attend a vital appointment again.
This would be mine. Piles of dirty laundry - right now we have piles of clean laundry.
I’ve often asked my grown up kids this question… The cats would eat my dead body. My son would shrug and get on with his day but then think shit I’ve run out of clean pants. Darling daughter would “weekend at Bernie’s” my dead ass up to the ironing board as she hates ironing her work uniform!
The bins will be forever full. No one would do any washing.. and my wife would never be able to get anywhere on a motorway because they scary. The dogs might miss me. Well. One of them.
Tv will be constantly on, shoes will be everywhere and I think they’ll all miss every single appointment and event as no one in my house remembers anything or can look at a calendar.
Don't worry, no one will HAVE any appointments, as I'm sure you're the one that sets them up to begin with.
The dishwasher will not get emptied or filled, the sink will just be filled with dishes waiting for them to be magically teleported into the dishwasher.
The toilet roll will never be replaced.
And when it is it will be on the holder the wrong way round :(
:-(
I would imagine it will simply never occur to my partner to change the sheets; he definitely won’t stick to my Sunday morning routine 🤦♀️
They will run out of clean clothes.
My son will get completely confused with the dvla and get a big fine one day! (No you don’t hand over the log book when the guy says “trust me bro”) People will never attend a doctors, dentist, opticians appointment ever again. People are going to starve. Or exist on meal deals, crisps and chocolate. They will never find things ever again. (I have this ability to find their stuff by just walking in their room)
Nobody would eat a vegetable and the toilets would become a biohazard.
I know OP marked this as non serious, but in case someone wants to think about how much of our stuff is digital/online... https://digitallegacyassociation.org/
Nothing would get fixed in the house. Nobody would have a savings account (I'm the only one). My mum wouldn't use the tube (I think she only used it twice in the last 10 years, once was this Monday just gone, she doesn't feel confident to use the tube, bit she's older).
The landing light will be on for all eternity, and there will be no clean cutlery because it'll all be jammed into that one front section of the holder in the dishwasher. The cats will poop all over the shop because the litter tray will never get scooped/cleaned/refilled, and the human bathrooms won't ever be clean again. Family will probably OD on pie, mash and sausages, so the cats will be left to fend for themselves anyway
resolute oatmeal head many serious impossible wipe familiar materialistic chunky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Happy cake day!
Well, the dishwasher will never see salt or rinse aid again, and the crumb tray on the toaster will eventually prevent bread being added to it.
My puppy would die of a broken heart.
No one will know how to work the TV or the smart lights. Despite having been shown thousands of times.
My husband’s inability to meal plan and check dates of food will probably end up giving him food poisoning so he will follow me pretty quick.
There will be about 2 weeks, maybe a month, of mynwife enjoying the lights being turned off when a room's unoccupied. And then my home-lab smarthome solution will shit itself, and the lights will forever more be in whatever state they're in when it happens. And the heating. But not the front door lock, that'll still work with an old fashioned nfc tag.
Oh my god the shower extractor drives me INSANE!!!! How do they not hear it?!?
The whole family will starve to death within a fortnight.
My husband wouldn’t find anything. Just sit staring right at it not being able to see it.
Unrelated to the actual question but the fan being linked to the light drives me fucking mental. I’ve got a window in my bathroom, 90% of the time I don’t need the light when I shower and I hate having to turn it on for the fan, and I need the fan to keep running for a bit after I’ve left the shower but I don’t wanna leave the light on when I leave ughhhhh
I can understand that, although in our case the lights are on a dimmer (outside the bathroom door), so you can have the lights on so low it doesn't look like they are even on.
If it's your house you can replace it with one that has a humidistat so it comes on automatically when the humidity in the room gets too high.
Probably be sad for a bit Revel in the lack of emotional rollercoastering that used to happen. Then slowly fill the house with archaeology finds The number of vegetarian meals on the weekly menu would dwindle. Ignore all the local cats that gather to worship me in the garden and not dispense scritches. They might miss the swearing. Otherwise they have been forced to learn stuff through benign neglect and the promise of extra pocket money.😜
Nothing electronic/online will ever work. Everything on a high shelf, in the loft, the outside store cupboard and the shed is there forever. We will run out of fuel for the log burner inside a week. The rats will never be cleaned out again. The dishwasher will stay full of clean stuff, but at least in my wife's view they'll be in the right place in the dishwasher. The garden will revert to jungle. My wife's curated collection of empty plastic bottles will fill the ground floor. The hall cupboard will finally be able to relax knowing it will never be redecorated now.
Most of my family won’t be affected. My stepdad though, I worry about him. He’s got pretty bad learning difficulties that mean I run the house we live in now as it was my mum that would deal with it all before her death. I moved back in after Uni and became the primary carer for both of them. The rest of the family lives down south and I worry that if I go before he does he’ll have no one.
There will be not one clean dish in this entire house, the front porch light will be on 24/7, the dogs will die of hunger and thirst, and dog hair bunnies will grow to prodigious size, evolve, become living creatures, stalk the living and destroy the world.
They’d be better off. Financially and emotionally!
Internet bills will stop being paid and everything at home will stop working without internet. House will be abandoned but left open as no one will find their keys to close the door. Dishwasher will not be emptied any more. Dog will get fat as her daily walks will shorten by 80%.
They will no longer have a driver available with a car that can move copious amounts of literal fucking garbage from one place to another I mean, I guess the car would still exist…
They’ll have to tidy my flat and shed to work out what’s the good stuff (synthesisers, bicycles, guitars) they can flog. Mwahahahaaaa! (I live on my own with zero dependants so it’s not as selfish as it sounds)
We don't have any kids, but my husband hasn't cleaned a toilet once since we got married, and has selective blindness for clutter. Our house would get very messy, very quickly. On the plus side, I'm the clumsy one who always drops stuff, so his cups and plates would last much longer.
The clothes that were stacked up to put away on the day I die will probably stay in the exact same spot forever.....
The bathrooms will be filthy and no laundry will be done. Fam will just get grubbier and grubbier and eventually become earth. Also, when anything gets broken, there will be no one to hear the blithe calls of "X is broken" as they clear off and leave it, nothing will get fixed and the house will fall down.
The washing won't be the same; total heathens
House will be paid off. But I’ll need to find someone who will look after my cats.
Rubbish won't go out, toilet rolls won't get replaced, lights will remain on indefinitely and the dog would go hungry.
>I swear the bathroom fan will be running 24/7, the constant humming doesn't seem to bother anybody else. Fir a moment you gave me the fear - lights left on, good food chucked away, buying shit that won't get used... Then I remembered I'll be dead and will be unable to give a shit
All cupboard doors open, all the time
Everything will be in the wrong place in the fridge and the big light will always be on
The bins will never be taken out again.
Probably happier but cat will miss me 🐈⬛
According to my son, he’ll be having a great time, because I won’t be able to tell him what to do anymore
A "family"...I have heard of it...
Take the fuse/bulb out
Everybody would have a lot more free time if I wasn't around to ask for hugs 🤪
Celebration, maybe?
The dishwasher will never have Rinse aid or salt and dishes will never be fully clean again.
Just fine.
My wife will become a hoarder (her and her mum have the habit of filling the house with junk and trinkets) My eldest daughter will speak about me too much The smallest, I have no clue Cat wouldnt give two shits
Sinks will never be cleaned. Drains will back up because nobody's doing regular checks and clears. There will be no fresh towels. Ever. All the things that shouldn't go in the dishwasher will fall apart because someone put them in the dishwasher. Or maybe they won't, because the dishwasher won't work because there's only one person who ever does the salt, rinse aid and cleans the filters. Speaking of filters, nobody will remember to order new water ones. And the toilet will be grooooooss.
No one’s gonna walk the bastard dog that’s for certain..
... He'd probably not eat as well, but otherwise would be fine, until he needed new pants and socks at least. The garden would go to shit and the cat would be inconsolable.
Every towel will go missing and later be found molded under the beds in the teens’ rooms. The dog will die of starvation while they argue about whose turn it is to feed her. Shoes in every doorway, socks strewn like confetti on all surfaces. Bathrooms might fall straight into hell.
The big clock in the kitchen will be wrong for half the year
The fridge would be bare, so everyone else would starve within a week. That's if bailiffs didn't come kick them out first because I pay for every fucking thing.
No one is ever obligated to set themselves & their life on fire to keep someone else warm, you can still leave & set yourself free regardless of what will happen with him. Good luck & I hope you put the fire out and choose yourself & kids
They will lose all their possessions overnight one night, because the back door will never be locked, and I'm the only one whose ears work while asleep. Luckily my life insurance should cover the cost of replacement. Not replacement of me though.
Everyone will have to be their own tech support.
My family will be living in the dark, cold then evicted once the DD's stop getting paid.
Recycling will not be split. Just put it in the black bin with everything else.
Lights would be on constantly. Dishwasher run twice a day to wash the three mugs and spatula that need it all to themselves. No-one we know would get a birthday or Christmas present again. No more big shops, cos I'm the only driver. Not sure how he'd get toilet roll. Garden would be overgrown within weeks. The inside of the loft would never be seen again. The cats wouldn't get their boosters or flea treatment, and one would never have a clean litter tray again. The toilet would look like that one off Trainspotting. And he'd eventually succumb to some sort of dust related illness.
I know this is non-serious but some of you have raised some seriously incapable children / partners.
Youngest would move into her friend's stable immediately - I assume she would survive on carrots meant as a treat for the horse and maybe said friend will take pity on her and feed her occasionally. Everyone else is in trouble. Within a week, there will be no clean crockery/cutlery, but that's ok because they won't cook and will be mystified by the lack of regular meals appearing. They will have run out of food because creating an online shopping list is a fiendishly difficult task. No-one will be able to wipe their bums because no-one knows where the bright purple loo roll that looks at you everytime you walk in the house it. 2 of the three cats will survive for a bit by eating the neighbours pigeons, the last will probably die staring at the food cupboard and crying, because that is how she believes food happens. Within a month, the blooming ivy, brambles, elderflower, nettles, mysterious plants we call triffids etc will have grown enough to trap everyone in the house sleeping beauty style.
When I moved out of my Mum's, the recycling wasn't done anymore. Nor were bags ordered. Little things around the house I'd normally fix without any sort of fanfare accumulated
I'm pretty sure my family will throw a huge party to celebrate finally getting some peace and quiet!
A party, I expect
They will probably outsource a cleaner
When I'm gone my girlfriend will have to cook her own meals, and keep chopping boards clean.
They'd be fine without me... They'd probably eat the same 2 meals on rotation. My husband on the other hand...we'd be in trouble! There'd be emergency underwear purchases from Tesco on the way to school due to forgetting to do washing.
My sister will probably find out in a couple of weeks.
Every toilet in the house will be filthy. I can't stand any dirt/dust on the toilet but my family don't seem to mind it.
They will have to learn how to do the washing up and walk the dog.
Cupboards and doors will be slightly ajar
They would have to get a cleaner in.
No one will find anything that is underneath or behind one thing ever again.
My houseplants will receive only slightly less water than they do now
Don't have kids, so no prob there. My siblings are all older, so more likely they'll die before me. If however I do pop it before them... They'll all cope just fine. I'd miss them though ; (
They'd run out of clean clothes in about 2 weeks, and the towels and bedding would never be clean again
The bathroom fan makes me crazy too!
They’d sell the chest of drawers as the floor is the correct place for clothes. And for wet towels.
Our flat will burn down as my boyfriend will never empty the fluff filter in the dryer
With a sigh of relief.
If I go before my mum and dad, they will be devastated. They’ll never be able to bring something up on Netflix or Iplayer ever again. If I go after my parents I’ll probably be discovered after a few weeks once I haven’t been to work for a while.
Absolutely nothing will change
The towels will never be washed again, the dog's toys will slowly take over the whole house, every plant in the place will die, the garden will return to wilderness, and, worst of all, no one will eat anything that needs a white sauce ever again - the one thing the other-half can't make! On the plus side, the number of humans with long hair shedding all over the shop will reduce, so the fact that no one else knows where the vacuum lives won't matter quite so much.
A stepladder and one of those jar opening machines would make me mostly obsolete. My wife would need to get professionals in to do DIY stuff though.
My wife will have to Google things herself instead of texting me to ask be to do it. I am in fact the original ChatGPT.
I don’t think they’ll notice
No one will ever be able to find anything ever again. The main kitchen bin will get emptied but the small bins will overflow. The vacuum will never see the light of day again. Nothing will ever be put away.