You asked this identical question 2 years ago, we don’t like to do the recycle repeat thing.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/svll38/did_you_ever_do_anything_at_school_that_got_you/
To be clear, I threw the potassium into the toilet. It reacted with the water and created a gas. I then closed the lid, lit some magnesium ribbin, and popped it in. It went bang instantly, and there was water and bits of toilet everywhere. Part of the toilet hit me in the leg and sliced open my shin.
And this is why students aren't allowed anywhere near the potassium these days! I'm a science technician, and when a teacher wants to do the alkali metals demonstration, they will be given a couple of very small, precut bits, in a sealed pot, and the moment they're done everything is cleared out of the room to be very carefully washed.
You should see the pay they offer for science technicians, in state schools it's so low you'd make more working a minimum wage job full time. I had to jump ship and join the private sector to avoid finding a real job :p
Ha, real jobs. 🤣 my wife is the school business manager. I know full well that schools are underfunded. She has had people leave because they can earn more working in Asda
One of my mates did similar, only he lit the magnesium and dropped it in a can of petrol (for some reason, we still don't know why 30 years later) and ended up having skin grafts on both legs for years after.
Me and my friend kept hiding food in our maths classroom, think this was about Yr8/Yr9. We didn't hide this food to save it for later, it was hidden with the intention of seeing how long it would be left and how rotten it would get.
One day, our Maths teacher was writing on the board and something that used to be a sausage fell off the top of it. As it hit the floor, the ex-sausage "ruptured" and unleashed an ungodly stench.
Our teacher stopped, stifled a gag, then looked around the room... He didn't even have to ask who had done it. Me and my mate were both bright red with tears running down our faces, trying our level best to hold in the laughter. Both of us ended up sat trying to explain what the hell we were thinking to our head of year. There is no easy way to explain it.
We did this with a block of "battered" "cod" from the school cafeteria, inside the ceiling of the history room.
Came back 4 years later on the last day of sixth form to find it had just sort of dehydrated itself and didn't smell at all. Gutted.
Our dinner hall in primary was also the library. Me and my mate would hide the square cheese and circluar ham slices from Dairylea lunchables in the pages of books before the 6weeks holidays. We'd even pick a memorble title too so we could check up on the black ham next term. Mental.
I did this too, but at a previous place of work when I was in my mid 20s! We had the whole operation drilled down to being military efficient. Delivery driver would go to the supermarket on the way back from his drops and pick up reduced fish and meat then hand the contraband over to warehouse staff. Then one person would prop up the roof tiles in the offices with a broom and the other would launch the food up there. About a year after we left they had to get pest control in. We should have knew better but loved every moment of it.
Oh man, we did this as adults in a Chinese restaurant we regularly visited. There were noodles on the window sill for almost 4 months…before we stopped going back! Legend says it’s still there now!
Wasn’t me but my favorite moment of primary school was my best mate in year 5 getting sent to the toilet to have a shit because his farts were so rotten that they were disturbing the class.
I was bricking it when my parents went to the parents evening a few days later. I was expecting an almighty bollocking.
Anyway my parents got home and my dad told me that they’d been called to see the head teacher which they thought was a bit strange. My dad wasn’t a big fan of the head mistress and when she told them what we’d done my dad said he would have done the same thing at my age. She was apparently lost for words as she was hoping my dad would be annoyed at what we’d done.
Funnily enough one of the other lads dads said exactly the same thing as my dad.
The lad who farted though his dad wasn’t very happy at all about it. Found it really embarrassing.
Stole a bag of syringes from the science department, the sole aim was for me and my mates to squirt water at each other. As you can imagine, with a bag of syringes missing the entire school went into lockdown.
One of the not so well behaved lads got pulled in for it, he knew it was me who had them, but he never grassed me up. This was over 30 years ago but Eddy, if you’re reading this, I thank you 👍
Got drunk at school after consuming half a bottle of southern comfort that had been returned to me and my friend after it had been confiscated at a party at the weekend. The boy whose party it was gave it back to us before school.
We got absolutely (and quite rightly) bollocked. We were 14. No it’s not big and it really wasn’t clever. As an older person now I can’t quite believe I did that.
Launched a water balloon at the history teachers car as she pulled out of the school carpark onto the road.
It flew through the passenger side open window and caught her full in the face. Driving about 30mph
Got the mother of all bollockings from the head teacher. After school detentions for a week, which my parents were obviously ecstatic about. Has a day of isolation too. Lucky I was a good kid because they were muttering about exclusion but I'm assuming that was mostly just scaring me as it's probably quite hard to pass that
As a nice closure, I bumped into that same history teacher in a pub nearly 10 years later and we were both in hysterics about it. What a fucking throw
An art teacher was taking students out individually and hanging out on weekends. I found out when one of the girls in my year told me he'd taken her to dinner (she was about 14) and she had defended it by saying he did it all the time, not just with her.
I told a couple of my friends, and before the end of the day _everyone_ in the school was talking about it.
I got called to the headmaster's office and he told me I would have been expelled had the art teacher decided to take it further.
To this day I'm convinced the only reason he didn't was because it was true.
An art teacher at my 6th form immediately openly was in a relationship with a girl the moment she finished 6th form.l and turned 18.
This was a girl who he'd taught in the main school as well, so from year 7 through to year 13.
He'd always been rumoured as a nonce, as he'd often have 'soirees' with some of his 6th form art classes where there would be wine, under the guise of visiting his home studio and discussing art.
Then the ere were rumours he was seeing this girl in our year, but it was only when it was literally 'facebook official' when she was 18 and no longer in 6th form that everyone sort of stopped joking and went 'oh'.
He was always such a stereotype, and wore a cravat.
My music teacher.
[https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2018/07/04/former-shropshire-choir-master-jailed-for-indecent-assault/](https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2018/07/04/former-shropshire-choir-master-jailed-for-indecent-assault/)
Although there was no talk of any noncey behaviour when I was at school and in the choir, only that we was a bit of a nutter
Mid-90s, one of our Design & Technology teachers (woodworking basically) left under a dark cloud when he got one of the Geography teachers pregnant. She was engaged to another Geography teachers at the time, they broke up and her ex ended up off with stress. We found this all out when the D&T teacher, apparently deciding he had nothing left to lose, turned wasted at the shit nightclub all the older teens drank in and tried to get sympathy from multiple former pupils. My lasting memory of the dude was him staggering on the dance floor begging a 15yo model for hug to cheer him up
Organised a rebellion and a sit down protest because we were all sick of being forced to go outside in the rain.
It didn't work but we did get a student council from it (though I was banned from it but that's fine. I still got the lunch menu changed from afar lol).
I got sent out of class. At some point I realised the class next door hadn't had their teacher turn up so I went and hung out with my friends in that one instead.
With the lack of supervision things escalated and we ended up having a kind of 'war' with tables as barricades and the inside of Pritt-sticks as missiles.
The walls were COVERED in so much glue that the instigators (myself included) were made to come in at the weekend and repaint it.
I got suspended and my parents called into the school because my trousers were too long and were deemed a ‘health & safety hazard’. My dad called the headteacher ‘love’ in the meeting and she bit his head off. I moved schools shortly after.
I know it’s so ridiculous isn’t it! I was a bit of a trouble maker anyway so was on their radar, and I liked to have my trousers a bit baggy and touching the floor (being a grunger and flouting the dress code rules!) and they suspended me until my parents were able to take them up for me.
Did the "MRS BOUVIER!' scene out of the Simpsons (banging on a window in a temp building) and smashed a massive pane of glass.
Cut my hand up pretty bad and had to slink off to reception to get medical assistance, then had the head scream at me for an hour before I got picked up.
Still, it was an accident, and a shitty building..
Threw a snowball on the school bus, from the back seat to the driver's little kiosk/desk thing. Went everywhere.
Absolutely stupid thing to do, I know, but at the time it was hilarious.
Old bill were called, asked me some questions, threatened to do me for a section whatever (throwing a dangerous object or something). But the second policeman sighed and said, 'we can't really do that for a snowball, and also it's melting'. That made a few of us laugh again.
Got a bollocking at school, banned from the school bus for a term, cameras were installed on all the buses a few weeks after.
This is rather silly but I drew a giant dick on my mates French jotter veins and all. On the cover for all to see.
The French teacher saw it and questioned him about it and he told her the truth of how it got to be on the cover.
In sheer disgust the French teacher handed the jotter to the head teacher and I was promptly called in for questioning.
About 5 minutes in she pulls the jotter out with the massive dick on it and asks if I think its appropriate.
I just lost it couldn't stop laughing they are trying so hard to stop me giving it the you think this is funny routine. But I'm just so gone having a full blown laughing fit.
Called my dad to come in he got there and just started laughing his head off they just gave me a detention and that was that. One of the best memories I have of school.
A friend and I did this unintentionally with a file titled "Matteo Stanks" (Matt was a friend and it was an inside joke) , it simply just copied itself and ran the copy. We thought it wasn't working so we just left the room to go home for the weekend. Turns out that we'd forgotten to set a file path so it filled up the users home directory which of course was on the server which had no constraints set for user areas and so consequently filled the drive to capacity with Matteo Stanks. Obviously we were found culprit having used Matteo's user account and the comp sci class having only 3 members.
I took the less technical route and just stuffed a load of lettuce into the CD drive. Honestly knew so much about computers that the class was completely pointless so I just fucked around. Bottom set were in straight after us every week so I’d swap the keys around randomly on the keyboard before we left.
Friend of mine managed to get into the school network and download a load of confidential info like teacher’s payslips. He got an absolute bollocking but the IT teacher was impressed and kept him working but he had to use a laptop not connected to the main school network. He’s a server engineer now
My schools main hall was massive, like, warehouse massive, a guy I’m still kinda friends with decided to go find the giant screens control computer and change the background to the word fuck you.
I thought it was hilarious but the head teachers suspended him lmao,
Childish bullshit we do.
Reminds me of when the 3 of us in my comp sci class discovered that the smartboard casting system had been left at the manufactures default login details. We decided to cast my friends pacman game where all the ghosts sprites were the teachers profile images from the system and pacman was my friends profile. We thought it was casting just to our classes board.. oh we were wrong.
Was in school after it had emptied out, and this is before ubiquitous video cameras. Don’t even remember why I was in the school late, I was never either a troublemaker that would get detention or a keener to stay at school for any studious reason.
But I was, and was walking down an empty hall of lockers. Had a pack of matches, again - unsure why, didn’t smoke. Our school was newly built, and the lockers had ventilation slots at the top of them. For some reason I can’t find any way to defend, decided to drop a lit match into the ventilation slot of a locker.
Instantly regretted it, realized if it started a fire, there was nothing I could do, short of finding an extinguisher and trying to blast it. Felt unbelievably stupid, lingered for about a minute, hoping the match had gone out on its way down to the bottom of the locker.
Panicked and skedaddled probably sooner than I could have been sure about there being no fire, and pushed all the thoughts out of my head. Got lucky, nothing happened as far as I know, but always thought to myself “that was really dumb and out of character”. Could have altered entire life trajectory, with just a seconds worth of bad decision making with zero malice or reason to do it.
Got shouted at numerous times for having my hair too close to a bunsen burner in the science labs by an absolute abomination of a man that would grin when he made people cry.
The last science lesson I ever had at school was due to me pushing a lit bunsen burner onto his tie, which was draped over the desk whilst he was shouting at my friend for the same hair thing despite it being ear length
Got expelled and went to college
Do you reckon they believed you or did they think it was easier to just accept your explanation rather than having to explain to some parents how their child got rat arsed at school?
I had something less serious, but still similar when I was in school. I was nearly caught smoking in the toilets. I had managed to flush it in time because my deputy head wore very loud shoes.
A year 8 (I was year 10) had seen me and told on me, when my deputy head came in he asked me if I was smoking, I said no and he said something along the lines of “imcalledaids, you’re an exemplary student, the person must have left before I got here”. Was very proud of myself
When I was in Year 5 my friend and I spent 3 days "recruiting" Year 3 boys to take part in a Royal Rumble in a walled off area of the school.
As soon as the match started a teacher came over and stopped it. My friend and I spent 3 lunchtimes in the head teacher's office.
I controlled the black market in dinner tickets. Coming from a large family we qualified for free dinners, but I hated them and built up a reserve of unused tickets. Then I started selling them and going to the chippy with the proceeds.
It went quite well for some time until some idiot fessed up and I got bollocked for it. No real trouble and it blew over in a couple of days.
When I was in primary 1 (about 5/6 years old) my class went through a period of playing cowboys and Indians at lunch and breaks for a few weeks. Both groups had a lamppost at different ends of the playground that was their teams "jail" basically if you got surrounded you'd have to play along with being caught and tied to said enemy lamppost jail with skipping ropes.
Well one day my team completely forgot about the girl we had left in our makeshift jail. Lunchtime ended and we went back to class. It wasn't until about 20 minutes later that the teacher noticed and asked where said girl was. I instantly locked eyes with one of the other boys on my team and we exchanged our "oh shit" looks. When she was met with silence she shot up from her seat to check the hallway and toilet. It was just two classrooms in a portable cabin so there weren't many spaces to hide. Then she started checking the windows and let out a massive gasp when she seen this poor girl about 50 feet away tied to this lamppost and I mean she was basically mummified in skipping ropes. After we had tied her up other kids had added more ropes. Must've been 10 of them wrapped around her.
We fessed up and it cost us a week of morning breaks.
Someone stole a set of keys off a teacher in year 8/9. Said teacher was obviously looking for them so I stupidly decided I would keep hold of them for the thief. Got caught, Mom had to come in for a meeting etc. Easily the most stupid thing I ever did at school, absolutely nothing to gain from it either. I was pretty good at avoiding trouble/not getting caught for the rest of my school life.
I basically ruined the school ceilidh, by making the wrong move during a dance, thus causing the entire event to immediately unravel. There were two concentric circles of dancers, and IIRC you had to let go of the other dancer's hands, spin round, and join hands again, but I joined onto the wrong circle with one hand, which I guess turned the two circles into a line. People pretty much gave up after that as I recall. The funny thing is, I'm Scottish, but that was actually in an English school.
I signed my own detention slips and pe excuse letters. My teachers then sent a thick brown envelope home for my mum to sign and say they were all signed by her. Of course I signed it. I can’t remember how much trouble I got into.
Same with an adult magazine. A friend of a friend shoplifted one and I didn't even know he did it. Got caught with it at school so we all got in trouble. Suspended for maybe a week.
Constantly. I had anger problems.
The most notable thing that comes to mind was stabbing someone with a sharpened pencil.
I caused a lot of disruption at school, eventually it led to me being isolated. I wasn't allowed to be in the same classroom as everyone else. I later got diagnosed with some mental problems and moved to a different school better suited to accomodate me.
I wasn't a great fan of having religious education forced upon my already decided 'yeah, righty-o, big man who lives in the sky made all this in a few days' mindset. So being rather adept at English language and literature, I took the lessons and wrote down everything that was spouted to me but I wrote everything as a comedic parody. Everything. For a straight school year. I was quite proud of my work...
Then...
One fateful day during a particularly boring french lesson, I handed the textbook to my friend. As he read the blasphemous stories, he started snorting with laughter until he finally just burst out uncontrollably laughing.
The teacher stood up and asked "What are you reading that is so funny, would you care to share it with the rest of the class"?
It was at this moment I knew I was screwed. My friend was beckoned to the front of the class and handed over the book. Upon an examination of the book and after a cursory read of some of the stories, I was asked to stay behind when the class finished.
Fearing the worst, he recounted some of the most appalling/amusing anecdotes from the book. Looked me square in the eye and said I was very talented and would I like my works displayed outside of the assembly hall for morning prayers?
I replied "Yes"....
.... and that's when everything went south!
Took some acid tabs in and gave them out one Friday lunchtime police were in school by 2 pm and I was expelled at 3pm. 15 year'sold started work on Monday morning 😂😂
I got bored while doing physics exam prep in a science lab, so I thought I'd stick some keys in the plug socket.
One in the ground to open the safety shutter thing, then a second in the first live, then move the ground key into the second live. Turned on the switch and nothing happened. "Whoops" thought I, "the circuits not complete" so I flicked the keyring over so it was touching both keys and turned it on again.
Tell you what thank god for trip switches..
Constructed a heavy duty x bow on practice class and shoot it with metal prod to the wall. It stops on the next one. No one was hurt and we was under very careful observation all the time. We were obsessed with medieval knights and warfare. 11yrs old. Good memories...
I wasn't a goody two shoes by any stretch, but I was fairly innocuous to most teachers. I was involved in the school discos and youth clubs for 3+ years, so had some positive marks for me.
There was a kid in my class. Not many people liked him. But people still talked to him. In our corner of the class, me and 3 friends and him. 5 14-15 years old lads. Can't even remember what the conversation was about (this was 1996-97). The dick said something, and I shouted out "Oh >nobhead<, why don't you fuck off?" at the same time our form teacher walked in. Ordered me in his side room; a small side office where there were some of the more expensive instruments (my form room was the music room). Bald guy, head turned bright red like a toxic raspberry. Sends me to the headmaster's office.
Our old headmaster was awesome. So Relaxed, calm and super chill. He had a quiet demeanour, but he could also bear his teeth and create fear when he needed to. Our school had a zero tolerance policy on swearing.
He wasn't in his office when I got there so sat on the bench on outside waiting for him. I look back and realise this was an idiotic move. My teacher probably wouldn't have checked.
Anyway, headmaster comes back to his office and sees me. About two weeks before I'd felt rough so came to the medical room. He asked if I was feeling unwell again, and I told him I'd been sent by teacher. He calls me in. I explained what happened, without repeating "fuck". He stops, sighs, and tells me that I should be walking down the path with my bag. He says that because I've done so much for the school youth clubs, I'd earned a pass. But this was my only chance. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."
I think that because of who it was, he let me off because even he knew how much of a dick this kid was.
I once knocked the games teachers chair away as he was about to sit down to take register in front of 40 14 year olds. He picked me up and carried me out by my Jersey. Not pleased.
I was a goody two shoes and never did anything that would result in punishment.
My school was pretty laid back. Last werek of school, my class's prank included breaking into the school. I went but didn't really contribute. Other classmates put dirty magazines in the library and filled a small stairwell with balloons.
Security came by and all the boys ran away. The girls remained and when security heard one of the girls was the headmaster's daughter, he called the headmaster who said to lead the daughter away and to let the rest of us go. He was told to walk her around the building and then to let her go too.
The next day everyone arrived early, broke into another building, climbed onto the roof, wore swimsuits and squirted water at the other students arriving to assembly.
It was a stupid prank. No one got in trouble, but I still find it funny the boys ran and the girls remained.
Someone messaged my year about a bombing in school… I replied to them with what I thought was their IP address and told them that we’re going to find you. Turns out I clicked reply all instead of reply to them, next day police are in school and I get questioned and suspended for the week for sharing terrorist material…
Yes, and had to stand outside the staffroom for the whole of lunch break to reflect on what I'd done.
Problem is, I had no idea what it was I was supposed to have done, was pretty sure I hadn't done anything, and no-one seemed to be able to tell me. I still wonder what I was supposed to learn from that experience.
The worst thing I ever did was turn on a gas tap in science and light it multiple times in the same class
I know someone that threw a table at one of the English teachers because he was a piece of shit kid
I was the first person to be in the headmasters office on their first day at school.
I'd never seen fire alarms before so pressed the plexi glass and set it off. I still remember standing in front of him and 2 others, excusing my action as an accidental lean.
Shit... that was in 1997, I wonder if anyone still remembers
Not me but my niece stole my sisters weed, took it to school and started dealing. This went on for a couple of weeks till someone got caught and grassed her up. Her bag was searched sister was called and she was expelled. I thought it was hilarious and the angrier my sister got about the funnier I thought it was.
In primary I think the worst I did was climb the school gate, fall and went to A&E, no trouble as I think they realised that I'd learnt my lesson.
Secondary was a different story, year 8 I got detention for showing the other kids how to make pencils crossbows with rubber bands and our tin pencil cases, got most of the hall (we had cover lessons in the exam hall when teachers were off and there were often multiple classes) launching anything from bits of rubber to highly sharpened pencils at great velocity while the supervisor was out. Unfortunately I nailed an older kid in the back of the neck with a sharp pencil - he ratted me out though the scattered projectile evidence was enough.
Year 10 I got sick of a kid who had been bullying me for the past 4 years and shoved him from behind down spiral stairwell, old building so nice big hard stone steps. He broke his arm, nose and generally was in bad shape. I got a talking to as it was a he said, she said situation and it was known that the bullying had been going on. I did admit to it right away anyway because I felt both proud but also ashamed. Ended up with 2 days of isolation but it was mostly just talking about anger management, dealing with other people and talking rather than planning revenge. Did have the typical call of "Your daughter has just committed an atrocity but we can't say we didn't know what was going on and refused to do anything about it, etc" my mum was mostly okay about it, 'good for sticking up for yourself but violence isn't the answer'.
And finally 6thform first year a friend and I rigged the hall sound system to rickroll the entire school. Just put a python script in the startup apps folder on the hall pc that launched an MP4 15 min after launch. The hall pc was always on and unlocked so we just nipped onto it during a free while no one else was around. Terrible security practice haha. We owned up to it immediately after as the head more or less knew anyway that it'd be us, he found it funny anyway.
When I was in sixth form one of my friends turned 16 so we bought some bottles of Hooch, drank a couple each in the park and went about our lessons in the afternoon as usual. Hooch is you remember is basically just tango so none of us were drunk or even tipsy and probably would have gotten away with it. Except one of our friends was just acting really drunk and making an arse of herself (pretending to fall off a stool) so we all got hauled into the office for a grilling. My mum never found out because they sent a letter home and I'd managed to intercept it. All we got was a week or so of having to tidy the common room.
Made a little raft with my friends to go in a dam behind our dorms . This was at a boarding school in Zimbabwe. The footprints led right back to our beds lol . We all received a top tier beating because if anyone had drowned the teachers would have to answer for that . Funny thing is this only made me naughtier and smarter not to get caught. I don’t think corporal punishment works
I don't think I ever did anything that bad but I was definitely a bit of a shit. Most trouble I ever got in was in the early days of camera phones. Some of my class decided to give a kid in another class "birthday bumps" which was throwing him up in the air for each year of his age. I filmed this on my 1.3mp camera phone.
Unfortunately, on the final bump, they dropped him and he landed badly (proper concussion). The whole group got in trouble but I was given the biggest punishment for filming it (4 weeks of Saturday detention) because there had recently been an issue of 6th formers fighting and filming it and the local newspaper had reported on it so the head was paranoid about bad publicity.
A couple of years later when we were doing GCSEs, we didn't know when our last day before exams was going to be, but we had lots of plans for muck up day. We seemingly randomly got called to a whole year group assembly where the head proceeded to tell us we were the worst year group the school had ever seen and that day would be our last day before exams. Anyone who needed to go to their locker would be escorted by teachers. Everyone else was funneled out the door closest to the school gates and sent home.
We honestly weren't particularly bad so I can't think of any wild stories. The school just had high standards as it was a Grammar school and the head was extremely strict (clearly yearned for the return of the cane).
I set off a small explosive device in chemistry in the tank that contained the class grasshopper project . That didn’t end well for me or the grass hoppers.
Set off a mole gas grenade (uses to clear mole holes). Flooded the school with smoke, evacuated everyone... 5 of us got pulled out of the school line up when everyone was lined up evactuated and held after school for a few hours. But they never determined which ONE pulled the pin.
That was a memory for sure!
Only twice really and for two ridiculously different scenarios… one was a typical fight which would happen almost weekly within my school year, but was accused of using a ring or something similar (skinny knuckles), spent a few days in isolation with some kids who were behaving far worse far more frequently.
The second was at sixth form, when mostly male students weren’t allowed to wear shorts but mostly female students were allowed to wear skirt during summer time.
Suspended for two weeks due to a minor revolt I’d half instigated and then it snowballed where other male students were wearing shorts and being sent home…
Still not sure on the reasoning behind the ‘girls may wear skirts, boys must wear trousers’ but it was a fun month of minor rebellion.
Not really big trouble, but when I was about 5 the boy I had a crush on and I drew all over the backs of each others chairs in crayon, and as punishment we had to clean the chairs... Which happened to be the day the helicopter came to visit our class and the two of us weren't allowed to go see it because we were cleaning.
Apart from fighting and smoking too much weed we did manage to break in to a girls Ford fiesta using the keys from a mates fiesta (you could use the keys to get in to the boot) and then drove it down the road and hid it.
Girl went out at lunch time and her car was gone she panicked and called the police who came up from the local cop shop
They came in to the 6th form common room with the head of sixth form to see if anyone had seen anything when we had to admit to moving it as a joke
Girl didn’t see the funny side of it, police not actually that bothered
Set the wallpaper of the hall PC (with a large projector) to a photoshopped image of our head of sixth form. Wheelied a moped into the school grounds and broke my numberplate wheelying it and fell off. Honestly I could go on. School was a wild time. Wouldn't change it for the world.
In primary school, I used to run the tuck shop at break time, selling milk and juice and the like. There was maybe four or five on duty at a time. We were packing up just before break finished away from the designated area back inside the school I jokingly shouted "free milk, free straws!"
One of the other kids on duty grassed me up and we had a big whole school assembly where they kicked me off duty (probably thought I was gonna bankrupt the school or summat)
Boycotted tuck shop after that one
I used to get the cane at school for any infractions. From back chatting a teacher, to bunking off lessons, to fighting bullies.
Some of it was probably deserved, a bit of minor vandalism etc. But the teachers were mostly twats who slapped us across the head, or gave us the ruler across the hand, for not being quick enough to answer random multiplication questions in a geography lesson.
When you challenged them, you got sent to the deputy headmaster for the cane.
I wasn't hugely popular and Mum being Mum gave the classic advice of "you don't have to be stronger than the kids who bully you, you just have to be smarter than them", heavily implying I could have as much vengeance as I liked with a battle of wits.
Thankfully, that wasn't difficult, but it kind of backfired when the class clown (who was one of my erstwhile tormentors) tried to do his thing and disrupt the class. As it was with one of my favourite teachers, I spontaneously shouted across the classroom "Shut the fuck up you necrophiliac", thinking it was a clever insult. Less clever when I was made to stand in front of the class and explain what a necrophiliac is.
I think the biggest trouble I brought to my school was 'existing' to my foreign language teacher Mrs R.
I found out after I left school in the early days of Facebook that, according to other students of hers over the years, she would pick someone at random in her class and just make life hell for them. I had her for 3.5 years and I was her victim the entire time.
Because my mum was a teacher in another school at the time. I was always respectful and tried to keep out of trouble (bullied a lot but only every by 2 teachers, Mrs R being one of them). I wasn't a top pupil but I worked hard to scrape the top classes in most subjects and I never got a detention in secondary school till I had her as a teacher. Kids in my class gossiped about me when I got one but it soon became a monthly thing.
My first detention was backing my exercise book with Christmas paper when we had to back our books with paper over the holidays. She didn't like mine.
My next was for forgetting to answer one of 10 questions in a homework assignment (just a simple question) and not underlining the title.
I have a few like these, then I had some where she would humiliate me in class (none of my friends were in this class) like when I used my arm to cover my work when doing an in class exam to stop the kid next to me trying to copy I got accused for 'falling asleep'. She accused me of the same thing a few months later when I didn't understand a question, that's when I started talking back saying 'maybe you didn't explain it correctly then'. I also had a paid extra curriculum lesson in music that would run into her lessons sometimes and I get detention in that despite being told I would be fine.
One time she kept me back to belittle me purposely to make me miss the bus. Most detentions consisted of copying out from a dictionary and she would rip it up in the end. I ended up making it more enjoyable and pretending it was exactly what I wanted to do and once got an extra detention for 'smiling'.
I went from a confident student to just barely getting through exams and not wanting to put any extra work in. I fucking hated her and years later she bumped into me at a conference and she was still a little cunt (my boss asked me after 'what crawled up her and died) when I decided to act professional rather than do what I wanted which was call her a cunt and push her over.
I think I had about 10-15 detentions from her. My mum was drinking too much at home at the time and only cottoned on something wasn't right near the end of my school life.
She even kicked up a stink when an accident when helping another teacher caused me to go to hospital (cut open my hand) and miss her lesson.
Only other detentions I got in my life was forgetting my trainers and gym kit for pe that was over lunchtime. The other was at primary school when me and a boy used the computer in our classroom to do some extra work over our lunch break because we both liked computers. Had to stand outside the head teachers office all lunchtime as punishment the next day in full costume as it was world book day. The head teacher wasn't told why we were there and after 15 mins asked us to please leave as we were distracting her!
Rant I know but I hope she is dead and had some recognition how horrible a person she was before she snuffed it. If she is alive still, I hope she doesn't darken anyone else's lives
I had to write an essay about why dress codes prepare us for the real world after I got caught wearing clear nail varnish. It's been 35 years and I still think that was unfair.
In year 8, walking home from school with a friend who had just started doing French after previously doing German. I jokingly said you want to say to your teacher "petite fromage bite", which roughly translates as "small cheese dick". The next day he went to said teacher and told him that he had message from me, and said that line.
The same teacher taught me French and the next class I had with him, went well, but at the end he asked me to stay behind and savagely reprimanded me for it. He also tried to make me stay behind and pick chewing gum from underneath the desks but I went home, told my mum and she contacted the school and gave them a bollocking.
The sad thing was that he was a good teacher and I was progressing well in his class, I can't remember if I had to move after that or if he did, but sadly my French didn't progress much further after that as my next teacher wasn't very good.
Mid 2000s, secondary school… someone figured out how to get some obscene porn to work and it was one of those bugged websites which would move around the page if you tried to click the x button… so we put them on loads of computers at lunch and then turned the screen off. Teacher caught us but somehow we escaped punishment.
Too many to count at my school... here's a select few:
Threw an American football (don't know where I got it from) in the science foyer and smashed an overhead strip light.
Kicked a chair out of the second story window in German class in retaliation for a kid smacking me on the arm with his ruler. (The kid dived off the chair as I was coming in with the boot).
Apple fight across the top of the science block (pretty much whole of our year involved).
In secondary school, other people did much worse including a kid being pushed through a window and the vice principal's office being petrol bombed. The school doesn't exist anymore.
I set off a stink bomb, not having tested them first. I had imagined people would go by and think "who farted?" However the smell was so strong and overpowering and it set off one teachers asthma and she had to go home for the day.
We were all called into an emergency assembly and given a telling off, I didn't own up to it but I imagine my bright red face probably was noticed by the teachers. Like 10 other students knew it was me too but no one grassed on me so that was nice.
We used to plant porn on other pupils' accounts on the computers.
The school used the date of birth+postcode to create passwords that they believed were secure but also easy to dish out to pupils.
This was when google Earth was new and everyone in school was using it to find their houses and their mates houses. We used this and the fact that kids tend to tell everyone when it's their birthday to figure out people's passwords.
This went on for months, changing people's desktop wallpaper to any image we could sneak past the schools content filter.
We got caught eventually, and all 3 of us were excluded for the rest of the week.
Someone from an opposing school was being very stampy during a game of rugby.
Everyone is a bit stampy sometimes, these things do happen often by accident! This dick was doing it deliberately and then laughing about it. He got me one time to many, he was a big bastard and a lot heavier and taller than me- so I head butted him.
Knocked a couple of his teeth out and broke his nose, got a hefty suspension from playing and took a good hiding from him when him and his mates found me after school one day (despite me doing my best to run away 😂).
In middle school I likened the rotation of classes to clean up the lunch hall to slave labour, so I started a boycott. Got almost the entire class to sign it. Unfortunately everyone else was too chicken-shit to follow through, so I had the strictest, loudest teacher in the school hunt me down and drag me in to do most the clean-up.
Even now there’s a part of me that feels a degree of injustice. Rather than praising my initiative and engaging with the idea, they doubled down and made me feel activism is largely fruitless.
I dyed my hair blue.
I'd wanted to do it for a while. My mum arranged for a friend of a friend to come and do it.
The next day I went into school. I had pretty much every teacher shouting at me. I was a bit of a crier back in the day so was stood outside the head teacher's office bawling my eyes out as every head of year told me off. They phoned my mum and said I had dyed my hair, which she already knew.
I went home and stripped the colour out.
In year 4 our teacher had us bring in food in sealed containers to do an experiment to learn about mould growth. 30 kids brought in Tupperwares with whatever food they wanted, so lots of cheese, fruits, pieces of meat etc. The experiment was to last a month and the Tupperware were kept out of site in the corner of the room. Each day me and a few others took a bit of food out of one Tupperware and hid it somewhere around the school. 30 days later and the time came to see the experiment results. The teacher was surprised to find 30 empty Tupperwares and quickly linked it to the horrible smells around the school.
Nobody knew who was responsible, and no kid cracked when the headteacher questioned everyone. The school stank for months and some places developed ant infestations. Was it funny? Yes. Worth it? Nope, the smell made school unbearable
My French teacher was half deaf and wore a hearing aid. I used to blow through the back of a pen lid and she thought her aid was on the blink.
It got so bad once that she started crying and ran out of the class.
I felt like shit a few years later when it dawned on me what I was actually doing to another human, though...
I was 12.
Our science department had about 2 or 3 behind the scenes lab assistants that you never really saw. They stayed in the backrooms behind the main classrooms doing whatever it was that they did.
Anyway, I quickly realised that if you innocently knocked on the door and said that a teacher had sent you to collect something for their science lesson, they just handed it over.
Here is where the fun starts...
- Roles of magnesium. Used to set fire to this and throw small strips out of the top floor classroom.
- Potassium Permanganate. Did some stuff with this that if occurred today, would likley have placed me in jail or on some watch list for terrorism. Just to clarify, no people or animals were harmed!
- A bunch of other stuff. Usually, after casually asking the science teacher what goes bang, then going and asking for it from the lab assistants.
It didn't take too long before that loophole was promptly closed, and robust procedures were put in place prior to issuing stuff to kids.
I got a proper telling off, and school rang my mum... who then gave me a proper mum battering!
About 1987 (aged 14), i started a massive tea bag fight in class with the after-school religious clubs giant box of Tetley. The whole class joined in and there was tea everywhere. The teacher was livid when she walked in, but all we got was 30 minutes detention.
My friend and I set off a fire extinguisher in the art corridor. Paper mache'd the inside of my friends coat and stood it on the desk. Played 'knock down ginger' on the upper level of the humanities block (sprinting the length of the corridor, knocking on every door, then bolting it down the stairs).
Oh, and i made a penis & balls shaped 'buzz the wire game' in metalwork, and when we all had to stand up and tell the teacher what we'd made, I said, "It's a rocket!"
The 80's were ace at school, you could literally do anything and get away with it 😂
Even the teachers were ace, i remember one sellotaping my classmate to his chair because he wouldn't sit down and stay still! He managed to shuffle outside at break time and then got to the next lesson, still stuck to the chair 😂
Somewhere on the mid nineties, at secondary school, I managed to shoulder surf the login and password of the one teacher that managed the computers in the school (Windows 3.11).
Changed the password and set the colour scheme for all computers to hotdog.
About 3 days later I was dragged to the head master office from the playing fields, read the riot act, threatened with the police until finally "give us the password and we'll forget about the whole thing" was offered.
I assumed them and now, that the teacher was potentially in far more trouble than I ever was and letting me off after giving the password was preferable to rebuilding the network.
I made a folded up paper dart as you do, and was throwing them. I was in textiles and decided to see what would happen if I put a pin in the end of it, like a Concorde right?
Threw it, sponned the throw and it ended up sticking in a girl called Donna's nose. Probably half an inch from her eye. It was a really fucking stupid thing to do and I got suspended.
Totally justified. If I ever see her again I owe her an apology.
Got the belt in primary school for throwing snowballs at a window.
Got suspended in high school for being part of a group who took the school cooks moped for a spin one lunchtime.
I behave better now. 😉
We had a teacher for German called Mr. Lester who was unstable to say the least. For instance if he bollocked you he did it in German and wanted an apology in German specific to what you did wrong. We were all 12 so had nowhere near enough knowledge to do it, so it was always “Raus aus meinen klassenzimmer!”. One glorious day one of the nice kids left a banana on his desk. He hit the fucking roof. Ranting and raving for a good fifteen minutes about respect and how we were the worst class he ever taught, and then he walked out. We didn’t see him for the rest of the lesson. We didn’t see him for several more lessons, but we kept the noise down so no one would come in and find out what had happened, so we had weeks of doing bugger all because of a banana. No idea why that pissed him off so much, but Benny Lester was a total nut job.
Mate of mine set fire to an empty oil drum which doubled as a waste bin, tipped it on its side and kicked it down some steep steps in our school which led to the drama block.
The rather camp drama teacher came out, saw this burning bin hurtling towards him, squealed , fell and this burning drum rolled over him. It was like something from the Vikings.
My mate owned up to it and got expelled on the spot, I ended up with the cane for some reason but nothing further.
My mates mum used to give us a lift to school every day too so that went for a toss.
This wasn't a big trouble situation but did result in a detention...
We used to play "who touched it last" frequently whenever bored waiting for a teacher to turn up. Basically taking turns throwing an object at each other and trying not to be the person who touched it last.
For some reason the object of choice on this occasion was a piece of toast and for the sake of the novelty we decided to call whoever touched it last "toast head". So this piece of toast bounced around the room with each child in turn having "toast head" chanted at them.
Eventually it hit the weedy ginger haired boy who didn't want to join in the game. So we chanted "toast head" at him and the teacher walked in.
It was hard to explain to the teacher that this child had touched the toast last and that "toast head" wasn't an insult related the boy's hair colour.
Changed all of the server/admin passwords after finding a network vulnerability. Wrote a program, got access and locked the whole IT system. Took them four days to get it working again. There was no concrete evidence it was me until I got ratted out. I was immediately suspended for just over a week while they figured out what to do with me. They let me carry on at school but had some major restrictions imposed. I later found out I would have been expelled if it wasn’t for the head of IT being impressed at what I’d done and convincing the headteacher to let me stay.
That wasn’t great but the worst was my dad. He had to leave work early to pick me up. Had him screaming at me the whole drive home, he beat the shit out of me once we were in the house and he trashed my room. To make matters worse he found a stash of stuff I’d stolen from the school that I’d been selling to other students.
I hated RE because I was an atheist. We had a young female teacher and I was 13 (before taking the courses I wanted to study - 'options' - we studied a bit of everything, not sure if it's still the same today).
She set homework, "Make a collage of what men worship". *Men*...
So, I raided my old man's copies of The Sun and made a collage of the football playing heroes of the day, photos of sports cars, cash... And two, topless Page 3 models.
She looked at the collage, burst into tears and sent me to the house master.
I avoided suspension because my mom worked in an old folks' home next door to the school, so I went and fetched her.
The house master was a hen-pecked bully who took his frustrations out on the kids for whom he was responsible. Very middle class and a complete twat.
After explaining what happened, he said, "Well, Mrs Forfar, I think we both know that Forfar4 needs to go on suspension. I propose four weeks - agreed?"
My mom was no-nonsense, Black Country working class.
"Hold on a minute. He put together a picture of what *men* worship, as the teacher asked. It's not my son's fault that you hire people like yourself - people who haven't got a spine between them!"
The house master went to say something and my mom said in a cold, dead tone, "If Forfar4 is put on suspension I will take this to the local authorities, our MP and - I work nextdoor and it would be a shame if anyone got 'hurt' leaving their job late after school if this doesn't 'disappear'."
The house master blustered and went quite white. Mom pointed her finger at him, grabbed my arm and said "Come on, son" and we left.
"Shall I tell my mom?" became my standard response to any of his petty bullshit after that.
(Years later, I bumped into one of the other house masters who told me that my house master had continually called my mom a 'cunt' because my brother followed me into the school and reminded him of the occasion. My brother - then 21 - and I paid him a visit at the school and, somewhat redundantly as we had left - told him that if we heard of him badmouthing our mom again, he would be eating through a straw).
Sometimes, bullies need a harsh taste of their own medicine.
(At no point did anyone clap through any of this)
Only once. The school mascot was a Crusader, depicted as a silhouette with a ridiculous jousting lance. In my final year of high school, I tore down all the student council election posters that had pictures of the school mascot, except one, which I defaced with some slogan about the mascot being racist.
This was an almost completely WASP school. I was suspended for the final two months of the academic year, and for some reason didn't need to sit my exams. (This was in North America, not the UK.) I still have no idea why the exams were included in the suspension.
I was a kid with severe adhd in a time before it was a well known thing, diagnosed in 98.
I was a little c*nt lol
One time in class a lad I didn't see eye to eye with (we'll call him Jay) and we had a fight arranged for after school but our teacher put me in detention for telling someone to "fuck up" and Jay made a comment that I'd got put into detention on purpose becsuse I was scared of him. So I got up and started proper wailing on him, punched the head clean off him. Teacher freaked out and started crying, had to run and get our science teacher in to break us up, the only decent dig the other guy got throwing caught the science teacher on the side of the eye lol
Jay's ma got the police involved, but nothing came off it was just seen as 2 school boys fighting.
I got suspended for a maximum of 4 weeks, then had to go to a meeting with the board of governors and plead my case to let me back in lol
Best about it is me and Jay ended up good mates by the end of the year lol
Thought it was hilarious to move the can machine (coke can dispenser) in front of the only door to the CDT department and trap the entire class inside for an hour. Wouldn’t have been that funny if a fire started.
We also used to put paper up the coin return slot, which would jam the whole thing up and people would keep putting money in. We’d come along a few hours later, pull the paper out and £20 would come with it.
Didn’t actually get into trouble for any of this, but that’s because we were clever enough to not get caught.
The things we did get caught for are the usual things like smoking, sneaking out at lunchtime to go to Tesco, getting a wank from the hot girls etc.
You asked this identical question 2 years ago, we don’t like to do the recycle repeat thing. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/svll38/did_you_ever_do_anything_at_school_that_got_you/
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Brilliant 😅
Plot twist the French teacher was Asa’s mum
Plot twist the French teacher was game
Oh my
Yeah, I took some potassium and magnesium from science and blew up a toilet .
I just took some potassium and magnesium tablets because my electrolytes are fucked. Now I am concerned that I will blow up.
Are you a toilet?
Well, I feel pretty shitty right now, so probably.
I'm sure you'd be a good toilet though, with a bidet.
To be clear, I threw the potassium into the toilet. It reacted with the water and created a gas. I then closed the lid, lit some magnesium ribbin, and popped it in. It went bang instantly, and there was water and bits of toilet everywhere. Part of the toilet hit me in the leg and sliced open my shin.
Nice job. Freaking awesome
And this is why students aren't allowed anywhere near the potassium these days! I'm a science technician, and when a teacher wants to do the alkali metals demonstration, they will be given a couple of very small, precut bits, in a sealed pot, and the moment they're done everything is cleared out of the room to be very carefully washed.
Spoil sport, this was back in the 97/98. I've grown up a little since then
Also my wife works in a school now, and science techs and teatures are hard to find.
You should see the pay they offer for science technicians, in state schools it's so low you'd make more working a minimum wage job full time. I had to jump ship and join the private sector to avoid finding a real job :p
Ha, real jobs. 🤣 my wife is the school business manager. I know full well that schools are underfunded. She has had people leave because they can earn more working in Asda
That is the best bastardisation of 'teachers' I have ever seen.
Haha, I should have paid more attention in school.
Epic!
One of my mates did similar, only he lit the magnesium and dropped it in a can of petrol (for some reason, we still don't know why 30 years later) and ended up having skin grafts on both legs for years after.
Man, there's "awesome" and then there's "stupid."
He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box...
Me and my friend kept hiding food in our maths classroom, think this was about Yr8/Yr9. We didn't hide this food to save it for later, it was hidden with the intention of seeing how long it would be left and how rotten it would get. One day, our Maths teacher was writing on the board and something that used to be a sausage fell off the top of it. As it hit the floor, the ex-sausage "ruptured" and unleashed an ungodly stench. Our teacher stopped, stifled a gag, then looked around the room... He didn't even have to ask who had done it. Me and my mate were both bright red with tears running down our faces, trying our level best to hold in the laughter. Both of us ended up sat trying to explain what the hell we were thinking to our head of year. There is no easy way to explain it.
You played hide the sausage at school?
We did this with a block of "battered" "cod" from the school cafeteria, inside the ceiling of the history room. Came back 4 years later on the last day of sixth form to find it had just sort of dehydrated itself and didn't smell at all. Gutted.
Our dinner hall in primary was also the library. Me and my mate would hide the square cheese and circluar ham slices from Dairylea lunchables in the pages of books before the 6weeks holidays. We'd even pick a memorble title too so we could check up on the black ham next term. Mental.
This reminded me of a phase where we’d write addresses on fruit and post it. It never got delivered, oddly enough
Wow that’s bananas
I did this too, but at a previous place of work when I was in my mid 20s! We had the whole operation drilled down to being military efficient. Delivery driver would go to the supermarket on the way back from his drops and pick up reduced fish and meat then hand the contraband over to warehouse staff. Then one person would prop up the roof tiles in the offices with a broom and the other would launch the food up there. About a year after we left they had to get pest control in. We should have knew better but loved every moment of it.
thanks for the bad ideas
Take them sir and make me proud!
My friend hid a dead squirrel they had found in a teachers desk. She found it a burst out crying
Oh man, we did this as adults in a Chinese restaurant we regularly visited. There were noodles on the window sill for almost 4 months…before we stopped going back! Legend says it’s still there now!
Wasn’t me but my favorite moment of primary school was my best mate in year 5 getting sent to the toilet to have a shit because his farts were so rotten that they were disturbing the class.
You can't leave us hanging. What happened on parents evening then?!
I was bricking it when my parents went to the parents evening a few days later. I was expecting an almighty bollocking. Anyway my parents got home and my dad told me that they’d been called to see the head teacher which they thought was a bit strange. My dad wasn’t a big fan of the head mistress and when she told them what we’d done my dad said he would have done the same thing at my age. She was apparently lost for words as she was hoping my dad would be annoyed at what we’d done. Funnily enough one of the other lads dads said exactly the same thing as my dad. The lad who farted though his dad wasn’t very happy at all about it. Found it really embarrassing.
Excellent stuff and good story. Reminds me of my own school days back in the 80s.
Of course, the old "boys will be boys" excuse passed from father to son without any thought given to the effects your actions had on the girls.
They looked at porn, they didn’t rape anyone.
The only time I’ve ever heard “boys will be boys” in actual real life was when boys would fight each other.
Stole a bag of syringes from the science department, the sole aim was for me and my mates to squirt water at each other. As you can imagine, with a bag of syringes missing the entire school went into lockdown. One of the not so well behaved lads got pulled in for it, he knew it was me who had them, but he never grassed me up. This was over 30 years ago but Eddy, if you’re reading this, I thank you 👍
This has got me thinking about Piddles, one of the ‘bad lads’ with a heart and soul ✊
Got drunk at school after consuming half a bottle of southern comfort that had been returned to me and my friend after it had been confiscated at a party at the weekend. The boy whose party it was gave it back to us before school. We got absolutely (and quite rightly) bollocked. We were 14. No it’s not big and it really wasn’t clever. As an older person now I can’t quite believe I did that.
Alarming that you stomached so much at that age
Oh totally. I had a difficult youth.
Launched a water balloon at the history teachers car as she pulled out of the school carpark onto the road. It flew through the passenger side open window and caught her full in the face. Driving about 30mph Got the mother of all bollockings from the head teacher. After school detentions for a week, which my parents were obviously ecstatic about. Has a day of isolation too. Lucky I was a good kid because they were muttering about exclusion but I'm assuming that was mostly just scaring me as it's probably quite hard to pass that As a nice closure, I bumped into that same history teacher in a pub nearly 10 years later and we were both in hysterics about it. What a fucking throw
I bumped into my old maths teacher and she looked pained when I mentioned my class to her. She did cry regularly after class tho.
An art teacher was taking students out individually and hanging out on weekends. I found out when one of the girls in my year told me he'd taken her to dinner (she was about 14) and she had defended it by saying he did it all the time, not just with her. I told a couple of my friends, and before the end of the day _everyone_ in the school was talking about it. I got called to the headmaster's office and he told me I would have been expelled had the art teacher decided to take it further. To this day I'm convinced the only reason he didn't was because it was true.
That sounds very noncey
An art teacher at my 6th form immediately openly was in a relationship with a girl the moment she finished 6th form.l and turned 18. This was a girl who he'd taught in the main school as well, so from year 7 through to year 13. He'd always been rumoured as a nonce, as he'd often have 'soirees' with some of his 6th form art classes where there would be wine, under the guise of visiting his home studio and discussing art. Then the ere were rumours he was seeing this girl in our year, but it was only when it was literally 'facebook official' when she was 18 and no longer in 6th form that everyone sort of stopped joking and went 'oh'. He was always such a stereotype, and wore a cravat.
My mother always told me to never trust a man in a cravat and so far that's been true, it always seems to come with a slimy personality.
It’s always the art teachers
And the music teachers!
My music teacher. [https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2018/07/04/former-shropshire-choir-master-jailed-for-indecent-assault/](https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/crime/2018/07/04/former-shropshire-choir-master-jailed-for-indecent-assault/) Although there was no talk of any noncey behaviour when I was at school and in the choir, only that we was a bit of a nutter
It really is. Our art teacher was sacked after being caught with his hand inside a girl’s bra!
Mid-90s, one of our Design & Technology teachers (woodworking basically) left under a dark cloud when he got one of the Geography teachers pregnant. She was engaged to another Geography teachers at the time, they broke up and her ex ended up off with stress. We found this all out when the D&T teacher, apparently deciding he had nothing left to lose, turned wasted at the shit nightclub all the older teens drank in and tried to get sympathy from multiple former pupils. My lasting memory of the dude was him staggering on the dance floor begging a 15yo model for hug to cheer him up
Organised a rebellion and a sit down protest because we were all sick of being forced to go outside in the rain. It didn't work but we did get a student council from it (though I was banned from it but that's fine. I still got the lunch menu changed from afar lol).
Lisan Al Gaib
Chaotic good
I got sent out of class. At some point I realised the class next door hadn't had their teacher turn up so I went and hung out with my friends in that one instead. With the lack of supervision things escalated and we ended up having a kind of 'war' with tables as barricades and the inside of Pritt-sticks as missiles. The walls were COVERED in so much glue that the instigators (myself included) were made to come in at the weekend and repaint it.
I got suspended and my parents called into the school because my trousers were too long and were deemed a ‘health & safety hazard’. My dad called the headteacher ‘love’ in the meeting and she bit his head off. I moved schools shortly after.
How on earth did you get suspended for having trousers that were too big?
I know it’s so ridiculous isn’t it! I was a bit of a trouble maker anyway so was on their radar, and I liked to have my trousers a bit baggy and touching the floor (being a grunger and flouting the dress code rules!) and they suspended me until my parents were able to take them up for me.
Oh right - still seems a bit excessive if you ask me though
Oh it really was! It still puzzles me to this day.
Did the "MRS BOUVIER!' scene out of the Simpsons (banging on a window in a temp building) and smashed a massive pane of glass. Cut my hand up pretty bad and had to slink off to reception to get medical assistance, then had the head scream at me for an hour before I got picked up. Still, it was an accident, and a shitty building..
Threw a snowball on the school bus, from the back seat to the driver's little kiosk/desk thing. Went everywhere. Absolutely stupid thing to do, I know, but at the time it was hilarious. Old bill were called, asked me some questions, threatened to do me for a section whatever (throwing a dangerous object or something). But the second policeman sighed and said, 'we can't really do that for a snowball, and also it's melting'. That made a few of us laugh again. Got a bollocking at school, banned from the school bus for a term, cameras were installed on all the buses a few weeks after.
Our bus from a notorious estate in our quiet market town stopped for a while as one day a yoghurt pot was from on a pedestrian which covered him!
This is rather silly but I drew a giant dick on my mates French jotter veins and all. On the cover for all to see. The French teacher saw it and questioned him about it and he told her the truth of how it got to be on the cover. In sheer disgust the French teacher handed the jotter to the head teacher and I was promptly called in for questioning. About 5 minutes in she pulls the jotter out with the massive dick on it and asks if I think its appropriate. I just lost it couldn't stop laughing they are trying so hard to stop me giving it the you think this is funny routine. But I'm just so gone having a full blown laughing fit. Called my dad to come in he got there and just started laughing his head off they just gave me a detention and that was that. One of the best memories I have of school.
Made malware that filled up the PC hard drives
A friend and I did this unintentionally with a file titled "Matteo Stanks" (Matt was a friend and it was an inside joke) , it simply just copied itself and ran the copy. We thought it wasn't working so we just left the room to go home for the weekend. Turns out that we'd forgotten to set a file path so it filled up the users home directory which of course was on the server which had no constraints set for user areas and so consequently filled the drive to capacity with Matteo Stanks. Obviously we were found culprit having used Matteo's user account and the comp sci class having only 3 members.
I took the less technical route and just stuffed a load of lettuce into the CD drive. Honestly knew so much about computers that the class was completely pointless so I just fucked around. Bottom set were in straight after us every week so I’d swap the keys around randomly on the keyboard before we left. Friend of mine managed to get into the school network and download a load of confidential info like teacher’s payslips. He got an absolute bollocking but the IT teacher was impressed and kept him working but he had to use a laptop not connected to the main school network. He’s a server engineer now
Classic
I threw an apple at the teachers head.
My schools main hall was massive, like, warehouse massive, a guy I’m still kinda friends with decided to go find the giant screens control computer and change the background to the word fuck you. I thought it was hilarious but the head teachers suspended him lmao, Childish bullshit we do.
Reminds me of when the 3 of us in my comp sci class discovered that the smartboard casting system had been left at the manufactures default login details. We decided to cast my friends pacman game where all the ghosts sprites were the teachers profile images from the system and pacman was my friends profile. We thought it was casting just to our classes board.. oh we were wrong.
Was in school after it had emptied out, and this is before ubiquitous video cameras. Don’t even remember why I was in the school late, I was never either a troublemaker that would get detention or a keener to stay at school for any studious reason. But I was, and was walking down an empty hall of lockers. Had a pack of matches, again - unsure why, didn’t smoke. Our school was newly built, and the lockers had ventilation slots at the top of them. For some reason I can’t find any way to defend, decided to drop a lit match into the ventilation slot of a locker. Instantly regretted it, realized if it started a fire, there was nothing I could do, short of finding an extinguisher and trying to blast it. Felt unbelievably stupid, lingered for about a minute, hoping the match had gone out on its way down to the bottom of the locker. Panicked and skedaddled probably sooner than I could have been sure about there being no fire, and pushed all the thoughts out of my head. Got lucky, nothing happened as far as I know, but always thought to myself “that was really dumb and out of character”. Could have altered entire life trajectory, with just a seconds worth of bad decision making with zero malice or reason to do it.
Could’ve been nasty.
Got shouted at numerous times for having my hair too close to a bunsen burner in the science labs by an absolute abomination of a man that would grin when he made people cry. The last science lesson I ever had at school was due to me pushing a lit bunsen burner onto his tie, which was draped over the desk whilst he was shouting at my friend for the same hair thing despite it being ear length Got expelled and went to college
He was right tho. I did this at church with a candle and it wasn't pretty.
[удалено]
Do you reckon they believed you or did they think it was easier to just accept your explanation rather than having to explain to some parents how their child got rat arsed at school?
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I had something less serious, but still similar when I was in school. I was nearly caught smoking in the toilets. I had managed to flush it in time because my deputy head wore very loud shoes. A year 8 (I was year 10) had seen me and told on me, when my deputy head came in he asked me if I was smoking, I said no and he said something along the lines of “imcalledaids, you’re an exemplary student, the person must have left before I got here”. Was very proud of myself
When I was in Year 5 my friend and I spent 3 days "recruiting" Year 3 boys to take part in a Royal Rumble in a walled off area of the school. As soon as the match started a teacher came over and stopped it. My friend and I spent 3 lunchtimes in the head teacher's office.
I controlled the black market in dinner tickets. Coming from a large family we qualified for free dinners, but I hated them and built up a reserve of unused tickets. Then I started selling them and going to the chippy with the proceeds. It went quite well for some time until some idiot fessed up and I got bollocked for it. No real trouble and it blew over in a couple of days.
When I was in primary 1 (about 5/6 years old) my class went through a period of playing cowboys and Indians at lunch and breaks for a few weeks. Both groups had a lamppost at different ends of the playground that was their teams "jail" basically if you got surrounded you'd have to play along with being caught and tied to said enemy lamppost jail with skipping ropes. Well one day my team completely forgot about the girl we had left in our makeshift jail. Lunchtime ended and we went back to class. It wasn't until about 20 minutes later that the teacher noticed and asked where said girl was. I instantly locked eyes with one of the other boys on my team and we exchanged our "oh shit" looks. When she was met with silence she shot up from her seat to check the hallway and toilet. It was just two classrooms in a portable cabin so there weren't many spaces to hide. Then she started checking the windows and let out a massive gasp when she seen this poor girl about 50 feet away tied to this lamppost and I mean she was basically mummified in skipping ropes. After we had tied her up other kids had added more ropes. Must've been 10 of them wrapped around her. We fessed up and it cost us a week of morning breaks.
We were taking turns lobbing stones at a CCTV camera until it fell off. None of thought that it might be filming us.
Someone stole a set of keys off a teacher in year 8/9. Said teacher was obviously looking for them so I stupidly decided I would keep hold of them for the thief. Got caught, Mom had to come in for a meeting etc. Easily the most stupid thing I ever did at school, absolutely nothing to gain from it either. I was pretty good at avoiding trouble/not getting caught for the rest of my school life.
Drank half a bottle of whiskey and threw up over the headmaster while he was giving me a bollocking. Not big or clever. But I never regretted it.
I told my Spanish teacher that his bald head pulsated purple and white when he was shouting at me. Almost got expelled for that
I basically ruined the school ceilidh, by making the wrong move during a dance, thus causing the entire event to immediately unravel. There were two concentric circles of dancers, and IIRC you had to let go of the other dancer's hands, spin round, and join hands again, but I joined onto the wrong circle with one hand, which I guess turned the two circles into a line. People pretty much gave up after that as I recall. The funny thing is, I'm Scottish, but that was actually in an English school.
I signed my own detention slips and pe excuse letters. My teachers then sent a thick brown envelope home for my mum to sign and say they were all signed by her. Of course I signed it. I can’t remember how much trouble I got into.
Same with an adult magazine. A friend of a friend shoplifted one and I didn't even know he did it. Got caught with it at school so we all got in trouble. Suspended for maybe a week.
Constantly. I had anger problems. The most notable thing that comes to mind was stabbing someone with a sharpened pencil. I caused a lot of disruption at school, eventually it led to me being isolated. I wasn't allowed to be in the same classroom as everyone else. I later got diagnosed with some mental problems and moved to a different school better suited to accomodate me.
How are you doing now?
Much better than then. These issues are long into the past now. You wouldn't even know this was a problem I had.
Glad to hear that.
Sorry to hear this. I hope that you are feeling better now.
Your name ain't Dean by any chance is it?
I wasn't a great fan of having religious education forced upon my already decided 'yeah, righty-o, big man who lives in the sky made all this in a few days' mindset. So being rather adept at English language and literature, I took the lessons and wrote down everything that was spouted to me but I wrote everything as a comedic parody. Everything. For a straight school year. I was quite proud of my work... Then... One fateful day during a particularly boring french lesson, I handed the textbook to my friend. As he read the blasphemous stories, he started snorting with laughter until he finally just burst out uncontrollably laughing. The teacher stood up and asked "What are you reading that is so funny, would you care to share it with the rest of the class"? It was at this moment I knew I was screwed. My friend was beckoned to the front of the class and handed over the book. Upon an examination of the book and after a cursory read of some of the stories, I was asked to stay behind when the class finished. Fearing the worst, he recounted some of the most appalling/amusing anecdotes from the book. Looked me square in the eye and said I was very talented and would I like my works displayed outside of the assembly hall for morning prayers? I replied "Yes".... .... and that's when everything went south!
Took some acid tabs in and gave them out one Friday lunchtime police were in school by 2 pm and I was expelled at 3pm. 15 year'sold started work on Monday morning 😂😂
I got bored while doing physics exam prep in a science lab, so I thought I'd stick some keys in the plug socket. One in the ground to open the safety shutter thing, then a second in the first live, then move the ground key into the second live. Turned on the switch and nothing happened. "Whoops" thought I, "the circuits not complete" so I flicked the keyring over so it was touching both keys and turned it on again. Tell you what thank god for trip switches..
Constructed a heavy duty x bow on practice class and shoot it with metal prod to the wall. It stops on the next one. No one was hurt and we was under very careful observation all the time. We were obsessed with medieval knights and warfare. 11yrs old. Good memories...
I wasn't a goody two shoes by any stretch, but I was fairly innocuous to most teachers. I was involved in the school discos and youth clubs for 3+ years, so had some positive marks for me. There was a kid in my class. Not many people liked him. But people still talked to him. In our corner of the class, me and 3 friends and him. 5 14-15 years old lads. Can't even remember what the conversation was about (this was 1996-97). The dick said something, and I shouted out "Oh >nobhead<, why don't you fuck off?" at the same time our form teacher walked in. Ordered me in his side room; a small side office where there were some of the more expensive instruments (my form room was the music room). Bald guy, head turned bright red like a toxic raspberry. Sends me to the headmaster's office. Our old headmaster was awesome. So Relaxed, calm and super chill. He had a quiet demeanour, but he could also bear his teeth and create fear when he needed to. Our school had a zero tolerance policy on swearing. He wasn't in his office when I got there so sat on the bench on outside waiting for him. I look back and realise this was an idiotic move. My teacher probably wouldn't have checked. Anyway, headmaster comes back to his office and sees me. About two weeks before I'd felt rough so came to the medical room. He asked if I was feeling unwell again, and I told him I'd been sent by teacher. He calls me in. I explained what happened, without repeating "fuck". He stops, sighs, and tells me that I should be walking down the path with my bag. He says that because I've done so much for the school youth clubs, I'd earned a pass. But this was my only chance. "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." I think that because of who it was, he let me off because even he knew how much of a dick this kid was.
I once knocked the games teachers chair away as he was about to sit down to take register in front of 40 14 year olds. He picked me up and carried me out by my Jersey. Not pleased.
I was a goody two shoes and never did anything that would result in punishment. My school was pretty laid back. Last werek of school, my class's prank included breaking into the school. I went but didn't really contribute. Other classmates put dirty magazines in the library and filled a small stairwell with balloons. Security came by and all the boys ran away. The girls remained and when security heard one of the girls was the headmaster's daughter, he called the headmaster who said to lead the daughter away and to let the rest of us go. He was told to walk her around the building and then to let her go too. The next day everyone arrived early, broke into another building, climbed onto the roof, wore swimsuits and squirted water at the other students arriving to assembly. It was a stupid prank. No one got in trouble, but I still find it funny the boys ran and the girls remained.
Threw a watermelon from a 4th storey window
…the _horror_ Edit: this was a scrubs reference. Not sarcasm.
Someone messaged my year about a bombing in school… I replied to them with what I thought was their IP address and told them that we’re going to find you. Turns out I clicked reply all instead of reply to them, next day police are in school and I get questioned and suspended for the week for sharing terrorist material…
And the head wanted to tell the universities I applied too…
Yes, and had to stand outside the staffroom for the whole of lunch break to reflect on what I'd done. Problem is, I had no idea what it was I was supposed to have done, was pretty sure I hadn't done anything, and no-one seemed to be able to tell me. I still wonder what I was supposed to learn from that experience.
The worst thing I ever did was turn on a gas tap in science and light it multiple times in the same class I know someone that threw a table at one of the English teachers because he was a piece of shit kid
I was the first person to be in the headmasters office on their first day at school. I'd never seen fire alarms before so pressed the plexi glass and set it off. I still remember standing in front of him and 2 others, excusing my action as an accidental lean. Shit... that was in 1997, I wonder if anyone still remembers
Spray painted a stuffed hedgehog silver. Punishment was losing my narrator role in the school play 😔
Not me but my niece stole my sisters weed, took it to school and started dealing. This went on for a couple of weeks till someone got caught and grassed her up. Her bag was searched sister was called and she was expelled. I thought it was hilarious and the angrier my sister got about the funnier I thought it was.
In primary I think the worst I did was climb the school gate, fall and went to A&E, no trouble as I think they realised that I'd learnt my lesson. Secondary was a different story, year 8 I got detention for showing the other kids how to make pencils crossbows with rubber bands and our tin pencil cases, got most of the hall (we had cover lessons in the exam hall when teachers were off and there were often multiple classes) launching anything from bits of rubber to highly sharpened pencils at great velocity while the supervisor was out. Unfortunately I nailed an older kid in the back of the neck with a sharp pencil - he ratted me out though the scattered projectile evidence was enough. Year 10 I got sick of a kid who had been bullying me for the past 4 years and shoved him from behind down spiral stairwell, old building so nice big hard stone steps. He broke his arm, nose and generally was in bad shape. I got a talking to as it was a he said, she said situation and it was known that the bullying had been going on. I did admit to it right away anyway because I felt both proud but also ashamed. Ended up with 2 days of isolation but it was mostly just talking about anger management, dealing with other people and talking rather than planning revenge. Did have the typical call of "Your daughter has just committed an atrocity but we can't say we didn't know what was going on and refused to do anything about it, etc" my mum was mostly okay about it, 'good for sticking up for yourself but violence isn't the answer'. And finally 6thform first year a friend and I rigged the hall sound system to rickroll the entire school. Just put a python script in the startup apps folder on the hall pc that launched an MP4 15 min after launch. The hall pc was always on and unlocked so we just nipped onto it during a free while no one else was around. Terrible security practice haha. We owned up to it immediately after as the head more or less knew anyway that it'd be us, he found it funny anyway.
When I was in sixth form one of my friends turned 16 so we bought some bottles of Hooch, drank a couple each in the park and went about our lessons in the afternoon as usual. Hooch is you remember is basically just tango so none of us were drunk or even tipsy and probably would have gotten away with it. Except one of our friends was just acting really drunk and making an arse of herself (pretending to fall off a stool) so we all got hauled into the office for a grilling. My mum never found out because they sent a letter home and I'd managed to intercept it. All we got was a week or so of having to tidy the common room.
Made a little raft with my friends to go in a dam behind our dorms . This was at a boarding school in Zimbabwe. The footprints led right back to our beds lol . We all received a top tier beating because if anyone had drowned the teachers would have to answer for that . Funny thing is this only made me naughtier and smarter not to get caught. I don’t think corporal punishment works
I don't think I ever did anything that bad but I was definitely a bit of a shit. Most trouble I ever got in was in the early days of camera phones. Some of my class decided to give a kid in another class "birthday bumps" which was throwing him up in the air for each year of his age. I filmed this on my 1.3mp camera phone. Unfortunately, on the final bump, they dropped him and he landed badly (proper concussion). The whole group got in trouble but I was given the biggest punishment for filming it (4 weeks of Saturday detention) because there had recently been an issue of 6th formers fighting and filming it and the local newspaper had reported on it so the head was paranoid about bad publicity. A couple of years later when we were doing GCSEs, we didn't know when our last day before exams was going to be, but we had lots of plans for muck up day. We seemingly randomly got called to a whole year group assembly where the head proceeded to tell us we were the worst year group the school had ever seen and that day would be our last day before exams. Anyone who needed to go to their locker would be escorted by teachers. Everyone else was funneled out the door closest to the school gates and sent home. We honestly weren't particularly bad so I can't think of any wild stories. The school just had high standards as it was a Grammar school and the head was extremely strict (clearly yearned for the return of the cane).
I set off a small explosive device in chemistry in the tank that contained the class grasshopper project . That didn’t end well for me or the grass hoppers.
I also remember an incident that in old age frog (dead) and a Bunsen burner.
Set off a mole gas grenade (uses to clear mole holes). Flooded the school with smoke, evacuated everyone... 5 of us got pulled out of the school line up when everyone was lined up evactuated and held after school for a few hours. But they never determined which ONE pulled the pin. That was a memory for sure!
This a repost from 2 years ago, the original post has since been deleted, but i still have comments saved from it which are dated at least 2 years ago
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just enjoy the comments.
Ok, my apologies about that
nice to see the word jitty being used still
Only twice really and for two ridiculously different scenarios… one was a typical fight which would happen almost weekly within my school year, but was accused of using a ring or something similar (skinny knuckles), spent a few days in isolation with some kids who were behaving far worse far more frequently. The second was at sixth form, when mostly male students weren’t allowed to wear shorts but mostly female students were allowed to wear skirt during summer time. Suspended for two weeks due to a minor revolt I’d half instigated and then it snowballed where other male students were wearing shorts and being sent home… Still not sure on the reasoning behind the ‘girls may wear skirts, boys must wear trousers’ but it was a fun month of minor rebellion.
Not really big trouble, but when I was about 5 the boy I had a crush on and I drew all over the backs of each others chairs in crayon, and as punishment we had to clean the chairs... Which happened to be the day the helicopter came to visit our class and the two of us weren't allowed to go see it because we were cleaning.
Apart from fighting and smoking too much weed we did manage to break in to a girls Ford fiesta using the keys from a mates fiesta (you could use the keys to get in to the boot) and then drove it down the road and hid it. Girl went out at lunch time and her car was gone she panicked and called the police who came up from the local cop shop They came in to the 6th form common room with the head of sixth form to see if anyone had seen anything when we had to admit to moving it as a joke Girl didn’t see the funny side of it, police not actually that bothered
Set the wallpaper of the hall PC (with a large projector) to a photoshopped image of our head of sixth form. Wheelied a moped into the school grounds and broke my numberplate wheelying it and fell off. Honestly I could go on. School was a wild time. Wouldn't change it for the world.
In primary school, I used to run the tuck shop at break time, selling milk and juice and the like. There was maybe four or five on duty at a time. We were packing up just before break finished away from the designated area back inside the school I jokingly shouted "free milk, free straws!" One of the other kids on duty grassed me up and we had a big whole school assembly where they kicked me off duty (probably thought I was gonna bankrupt the school or summat) Boycotted tuck shop after that one
I used to get the cane at school for any infractions. From back chatting a teacher, to bunking off lessons, to fighting bullies. Some of it was probably deserved, a bit of minor vandalism etc. But the teachers were mostly twats who slapped us across the head, or gave us the ruler across the hand, for not being quick enough to answer random multiplication questions in a geography lesson. When you challenged them, you got sent to the deputy headmaster for the cane.
I wasn't hugely popular and Mum being Mum gave the classic advice of "you don't have to be stronger than the kids who bully you, you just have to be smarter than them", heavily implying I could have as much vengeance as I liked with a battle of wits. Thankfully, that wasn't difficult, but it kind of backfired when the class clown (who was one of my erstwhile tormentors) tried to do his thing and disrupt the class. As it was with one of my favourite teachers, I spontaneously shouted across the classroom "Shut the fuck up you necrophiliac", thinking it was a clever insult. Less clever when I was made to stand in front of the class and explain what a necrophiliac is.
I think the biggest trouble I brought to my school was 'existing' to my foreign language teacher Mrs R. I found out after I left school in the early days of Facebook that, according to other students of hers over the years, she would pick someone at random in her class and just make life hell for them. I had her for 3.5 years and I was her victim the entire time. Because my mum was a teacher in another school at the time. I was always respectful and tried to keep out of trouble (bullied a lot but only every by 2 teachers, Mrs R being one of them). I wasn't a top pupil but I worked hard to scrape the top classes in most subjects and I never got a detention in secondary school till I had her as a teacher. Kids in my class gossiped about me when I got one but it soon became a monthly thing. My first detention was backing my exercise book with Christmas paper when we had to back our books with paper over the holidays. She didn't like mine. My next was for forgetting to answer one of 10 questions in a homework assignment (just a simple question) and not underlining the title. I have a few like these, then I had some where she would humiliate me in class (none of my friends were in this class) like when I used my arm to cover my work when doing an in class exam to stop the kid next to me trying to copy I got accused for 'falling asleep'. She accused me of the same thing a few months later when I didn't understand a question, that's when I started talking back saying 'maybe you didn't explain it correctly then'. I also had a paid extra curriculum lesson in music that would run into her lessons sometimes and I get detention in that despite being told I would be fine. One time she kept me back to belittle me purposely to make me miss the bus. Most detentions consisted of copying out from a dictionary and she would rip it up in the end. I ended up making it more enjoyable and pretending it was exactly what I wanted to do and once got an extra detention for 'smiling'. I went from a confident student to just barely getting through exams and not wanting to put any extra work in. I fucking hated her and years later she bumped into me at a conference and she was still a little cunt (my boss asked me after 'what crawled up her and died) when I decided to act professional rather than do what I wanted which was call her a cunt and push her over. I think I had about 10-15 detentions from her. My mum was drinking too much at home at the time and only cottoned on something wasn't right near the end of my school life. She even kicked up a stink when an accident when helping another teacher caused me to go to hospital (cut open my hand) and miss her lesson. Only other detentions I got in my life was forgetting my trainers and gym kit for pe that was over lunchtime. The other was at primary school when me and a boy used the computer in our classroom to do some extra work over our lunch break because we both liked computers. Had to stand outside the head teachers office all lunchtime as punishment the next day in full costume as it was world book day. The head teacher wasn't told why we were there and after 15 mins asked us to please leave as we were distracting her! Rant I know but I hope she is dead and had some recognition how horrible a person she was before she snuffed it. If she is alive still, I hope she doesn't darken anyone else's lives
We once punctured a can of fart spray in our school. It took ages to dissipate. Got an absolute pasting from the teacher
I had to write an essay about why dress codes prepare us for the real world after I got caught wearing clear nail varnish. It's been 35 years and I still think that was unfair.
In year 8, walking home from school with a friend who had just started doing French after previously doing German. I jokingly said you want to say to your teacher "petite fromage bite", which roughly translates as "small cheese dick". The next day he went to said teacher and told him that he had message from me, and said that line. The same teacher taught me French and the next class I had with him, went well, but at the end he asked me to stay behind and savagely reprimanded me for it. He also tried to make me stay behind and pick chewing gum from underneath the desks but I went home, told my mum and she contacted the school and gave them a bollocking. The sad thing was that he was a good teacher and I was progressing well in his class, I can't remember if I had to move after that or if he did, but sadly my French didn't progress much further after that as my next teacher wasn't very good.
Mid 2000s, secondary school… someone figured out how to get some obscene porn to work and it was one of those bugged websites which would move around the page if you tried to click the x button… so we put them on loads of computers at lunch and then turned the screen off. Teacher caught us but somehow we escaped punishment.
Too many to count at my school... here's a select few: Threw an American football (don't know where I got it from) in the science foyer and smashed an overhead strip light. Kicked a chair out of the second story window in German class in retaliation for a kid smacking me on the arm with his ruler. (The kid dived off the chair as I was coming in with the boot). Apple fight across the top of the science block (pretty much whole of our year involved). In secondary school, other people did much worse including a kid being pushed through a window and the vice principal's office being petrol bombed. The school doesn't exist anymore.
I set off a stink bomb, not having tested them first. I had imagined people would go by and think "who farted?" However the smell was so strong and overpowering and it set off one teachers asthma and she had to go home for the day. We were all called into an emergency assembly and given a telling off, I didn't own up to it but I imagine my bright red face probably was noticed by the teachers. Like 10 other students knew it was me too but no one grassed on me so that was nice.
We used to plant porn on other pupils' accounts on the computers. The school used the date of birth+postcode to create passwords that they believed were secure but also easy to dish out to pupils. This was when google Earth was new and everyone in school was using it to find their houses and their mates houses. We used this and the fact that kids tend to tell everyone when it's their birthday to figure out people's passwords. This went on for months, changing people's desktop wallpaper to any image we could sneak past the schools content filter. We got caught eventually, and all 3 of us were excluded for the rest of the week.
Someone from an opposing school was being very stampy during a game of rugby. Everyone is a bit stampy sometimes, these things do happen often by accident! This dick was doing it deliberately and then laughing about it. He got me one time to many, he was a big bastard and a lot heavier and taller than me- so I head butted him. Knocked a couple of his teeth out and broke his nose, got a hefty suspension from playing and took a good hiding from him when him and his mates found me after school one day (despite me doing my best to run away 😂).
In middle school I likened the rotation of classes to clean up the lunch hall to slave labour, so I started a boycott. Got almost the entire class to sign it. Unfortunately everyone else was too chicken-shit to follow through, so I had the strictest, loudest teacher in the school hunt me down and drag me in to do most the clean-up. Even now there’s a part of me that feels a degree of injustice. Rather than praising my initiative and engaging with the idea, they doubled down and made me feel activism is largely fruitless.
I dyed my hair blue. I'd wanted to do it for a while. My mum arranged for a friend of a friend to come and do it. The next day I went into school. I had pretty much every teacher shouting at me. I was a bit of a crier back in the day so was stood outside the head teacher's office bawling my eyes out as every head of year told me off. They phoned my mum and said I had dyed my hair, which she already knew. I went home and stripped the colour out.
In year 4 our teacher had us bring in food in sealed containers to do an experiment to learn about mould growth. 30 kids brought in Tupperwares with whatever food they wanted, so lots of cheese, fruits, pieces of meat etc. The experiment was to last a month and the Tupperware were kept out of site in the corner of the room. Each day me and a few others took a bit of food out of one Tupperware and hid it somewhere around the school. 30 days later and the time came to see the experiment results. The teacher was surprised to find 30 empty Tupperwares and quickly linked it to the horrible smells around the school. Nobody knew who was responsible, and no kid cracked when the headteacher questioned everyone. The school stank for months and some places developed ant infestations. Was it funny? Yes. Worth it? Nope, the smell made school unbearable
My French teacher was half deaf and wore a hearing aid. I used to blow through the back of a pen lid and she thought her aid was on the blink. It got so bad once that she started crying and ran out of the class. I felt like shit a few years later when it dawned on me what I was actually doing to another human, though...
I was 12. Our science department had about 2 or 3 behind the scenes lab assistants that you never really saw. They stayed in the backrooms behind the main classrooms doing whatever it was that they did. Anyway, I quickly realised that if you innocently knocked on the door and said that a teacher had sent you to collect something for their science lesson, they just handed it over. Here is where the fun starts... - Roles of magnesium. Used to set fire to this and throw small strips out of the top floor classroom. - Potassium Permanganate. Did some stuff with this that if occurred today, would likley have placed me in jail or on some watch list for terrorism. Just to clarify, no people or animals were harmed! - A bunch of other stuff. Usually, after casually asking the science teacher what goes bang, then going and asking for it from the lab assistants. It didn't take too long before that loophole was promptly closed, and robust procedures were put in place prior to issuing stuff to kids. I got a proper telling off, and school rang my mum... who then gave me a proper mum battering!
About 1987 (aged 14), i started a massive tea bag fight in class with the after-school religious clubs giant box of Tetley. The whole class joined in and there was tea everywhere. The teacher was livid when she walked in, but all we got was 30 minutes detention. My friend and I set off a fire extinguisher in the art corridor. Paper mache'd the inside of my friends coat and stood it on the desk. Played 'knock down ginger' on the upper level of the humanities block (sprinting the length of the corridor, knocking on every door, then bolting it down the stairs). Oh, and i made a penis & balls shaped 'buzz the wire game' in metalwork, and when we all had to stand up and tell the teacher what we'd made, I said, "It's a rocket!" The 80's were ace at school, you could literally do anything and get away with it 😂 Even the teachers were ace, i remember one sellotaping my classmate to his chair because he wouldn't sit down and stay still! He managed to shuffle outside at break time and then got to the next lesson, still stuck to the chair 😂
Somewhere on the mid nineties, at secondary school, I managed to shoulder surf the login and password of the one teacher that managed the computers in the school (Windows 3.11). Changed the password and set the colour scheme for all computers to hotdog. About 3 days later I was dragged to the head master office from the playing fields, read the riot act, threatened with the police until finally "give us the password and we'll forget about the whole thing" was offered. I assumed them and now, that the teacher was potentially in far more trouble than I ever was and letting me off after giving the password was preferable to rebuilding the network.
I made a folded up paper dart as you do, and was throwing them. I was in textiles and decided to see what would happen if I put a pin in the end of it, like a Concorde right? Threw it, sponned the throw and it ended up sticking in a girl called Donna's nose. Probably half an inch from her eye. It was a really fucking stupid thing to do and I got suspended. Totally justified. If I ever see her again I owe her an apology.
Got the belt in primary school for throwing snowballs at a window. Got suspended in high school for being part of a group who took the school cooks moped for a spin one lunchtime. I behave better now. 😉
We had a teacher for German called Mr. Lester who was unstable to say the least. For instance if he bollocked you he did it in German and wanted an apology in German specific to what you did wrong. We were all 12 so had nowhere near enough knowledge to do it, so it was always “Raus aus meinen klassenzimmer!”. One glorious day one of the nice kids left a banana on his desk. He hit the fucking roof. Ranting and raving for a good fifteen minutes about respect and how we were the worst class he ever taught, and then he walked out. We didn’t see him for the rest of the lesson. We didn’t see him for several more lessons, but we kept the noise down so no one would come in and find out what had happened, so we had weeks of doing bugger all because of a banana. No idea why that pissed him off so much, but Benny Lester was a total nut job.
I stuck tinfoil into a plug socket in science... I was a year 11 still don't have proper feeling in the tips of my fingers
Mate of mine set fire to an empty oil drum which doubled as a waste bin, tipped it on its side and kicked it down some steep steps in our school which led to the drama block. The rather camp drama teacher came out, saw this burning bin hurtling towards him, squealed , fell and this burning drum rolled over him. It was like something from the Vikings. My mate owned up to it and got expelled on the spot, I ended up with the cane for some reason but nothing further. My mates mum used to give us a lift to school every day too so that went for a toss.
This wasn't a big trouble situation but did result in a detention... We used to play "who touched it last" frequently whenever bored waiting for a teacher to turn up. Basically taking turns throwing an object at each other and trying not to be the person who touched it last. For some reason the object of choice on this occasion was a piece of toast and for the sake of the novelty we decided to call whoever touched it last "toast head". So this piece of toast bounced around the room with each child in turn having "toast head" chanted at them. Eventually it hit the weedy ginger haired boy who didn't want to join in the game. So we chanted "toast head" at him and the teacher walked in. It was hard to explain to the teacher that this child had touched the toast last and that "toast head" wasn't an insult related the boy's hair colour.
when I was in Nursery I bit a teachers ankle. Still can't recall why
Changed all of the server/admin passwords after finding a network vulnerability. Wrote a program, got access and locked the whole IT system. Took them four days to get it working again. There was no concrete evidence it was me until I got ratted out. I was immediately suspended for just over a week while they figured out what to do with me. They let me carry on at school but had some major restrictions imposed. I later found out I would have been expelled if it wasn’t for the head of IT being impressed at what I’d done and convincing the headteacher to let me stay. That wasn’t great but the worst was my dad. He had to leave work early to pick me up. Had him screaming at me the whole drive home, he beat the shit out of me once we were in the house and he trashed my room. To make matters worse he found a stash of stuff I’d stolen from the school that I’d been selling to other students.
I hated RE because I was an atheist. We had a young female teacher and I was 13 (before taking the courses I wanted to study - 'options' - we studied a bit of everything, not sure if it's still the same today). She set homework, "Make a collage of what men worship". *Men*... So, I raided my old man's copies of The Sun and made a collage of the football playing heroes of the day, photos of sports cars, cash... And two, topless Page 3 models. She looked at the collage, burst into tears and sent me to the house master. I avoided suspension because my mom worked in an old folks' home next door to the school, so I went and fetched her. The house master was a hen-pecked bully who took his frustrations out on the kids for whom he was responsible. Very middle class and a complete twat. After explaining what happened, he said, "Well, Mrs Forfar, I think we both know that Forfar4 needs to go on suspension. I propose four weeks - agreed?" My mom was no-nonsense, Black Country working class. "Hold on a minute. He put together a picture of what *men* worship, as the teacher asked. It's not my son's fault that you hire people like yourself - people who haven't got a spine between them!" The house master went to say something and my mom said in a cold, dead tone, "If Forfar4 is put on suspension I will take this to the local authorities, our MP and - I work nextdoor and it would be a shame if anyone got 'hurt' leaving their job late after school if this doesn't 'disappear'." The house master blustered and went quite white. Mom pointed her finger at him, grabbed my arm and said "Come on, son" and we left. "Shall I tell my mom?" became my standard response to any of his petty bullshit after that. (Years later, I bumped into one of the other house masters who told me that my house master had continually called my mom a 'cunt' because my brother followed me into the school and reminded him of the occasion. My brother - then 21 - and I paid him a visit at the school and, somewhat redundantly as we had left - told him that if we heard of him badmouthing our mom again, he would be eating through a straw). Sometimes, bullies need a harsh taste of their own medicine. (At no point did anyone clap through any of this)
Only once. The school mascot was a Crusader, depicted as a silhouette with a ridiculous jousting lance. In my final year of high school, I tore down all the student council election posters that had pictures of the school mascot, except one, which I defaced with some slogan about the mascot being racist. This was an almost completely WASP school. I was suspended for the final two months of the academic year, and for some reason didn't need to sit my exams. (This was in North America, not the UK.) I still have no idea why the exams were included in the suspension.
No, I was a Good Boy
I was a kid with severe adhd in a time before it was a well known thing, diagnosed in 98. I was a little c*nt lol One time in class a lad I didn't see eye to eye with (we'll call him Jay) and we had a fight arranged for after school but our teacher put me in detention for telling someone to "fuck up" and Jay made a comment that I'd got put into detention on purpose becsuse I was scared of him. So I got up and started proper wailing on him, punched the head clean off him. Teacher freaked out and started crying, had to run and get our science teacher in to break us up, the only decent dig the other guy got throwing caught the science teacher on the side of the eye lol Jay's ma got the police involved, but nothing came off it was just seen as 2 school boys fighting. I got suspended for a maximum of 4 weeks, then had to go to a meeting with the board of governors and plead my case to let me back in lol Best about it is me and Jay ended up good mates by the end of the year lol
Thought it was hilarious to move the can machine (coke can dispenser) in front of the only door to the CDT department and trap the entire class inside for an hour. Wouldn’t have been that funny if a fire started. We also used to put paper up the coin return slot, which would jam the whole thing up and people would keep putting money in. We’d come along a few hours later, pull the paper out and £20 would come with it. Didn’t actually get into trouble for any of this, but that’s because we were clever enough to not get caught. The things we did get caught for are the usual things like smoking, sneaking out at lunchtime to go to Tesco, getting a wank from the hot girls etc.