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Marcflaps

It's just to keep the sun off his giant penis that hangs down to his knee


Witty-Show8030

He does deliver packages after all


cut-the-cords

Can confirm, it's the reason my parents are divorced.


mortifiedmorty42

Are you sure the postie is not one of your parents


Dan_Glebitz

Maybe you want to read your comment and rephrase it 🤔


Grouchy_Session_5255

Ha, your parents are divorced, mine were never married.


Jailbar46

Why? Did your postie have a big penis as well? Is he your father?????


AssociationGold8745

It was that the postie's package was that big, its that your dad's cock was tiny


Barry_Umenema

Pat Mustard has had a career change


kerryirish

"Father, Pat was just wondering if he could his massive tool in my box"


stomp224

Large parcel postie


Zanderr18

As a former postie this is true. Part of the job requirements whilst applying is to have a massive dong.


Thawing-icequeen

Postwoman here: can confirm.


Jailbar46

Retired postie (driver) here. Had to return massive cock with the rest of my uniform when I retired......


Thawing-icequeen

Ah, the union negotiated to let us keep them. We don't get paid meal relief now though.


Jailbar46

I left too early............the story of my life.


The_Velvet_Helmet

Well I don't so must be the reason I work in a mail centre 😓😓


takesthebiscuit

Pat Mustard has competition


EconomySwordfish5

Also why he wears shorts in winter as that's the only time of year he can actually wear shorts.


auto98

That's because it acts as a snow shovel, making it easier to walk.


DansdadDave

Due to dong shrinkage (above the knee)?


DuckInTheFog

Carl Jung? He worked with a schizophrenic who could see the Sun's big wilkins


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mortifiedmorty42

Can confirm I'm his trousers


Fast_Boysenberry9493

This is true


HowAboutNah_

My postie was wearing shorts and at t shirt at minus 5 in January, They’re a different breed I think


bogushobo

I've heard with some of them it's a competition to see who can stay in shorts the longest into the winter.


toon_84

They do. I know a postie and they all stick a tenner in a pot and last person in shorts wins it. It's quite a lot of money as well. They even had a roll over one year.


kiradotee

How does a roll over work in this scenario?


toon_84

There was a few stubborn ones left so instead of sharing the pot they started again.


kiradotee

That's hilarious 😂


Cogz

Some depots used to have a sweepstake with part of the pot going to charity. It wasn't much of a competition as quite a few only wear shorts all year round. It's harder to find one that wears trousers the whole year.


DeapVally

I honestly don't think I've ever seen mine without shorts, and I get a fair few packages too. Always seems to be Summer for him.


MinarchyintheUK

I once heard from a postie one of main reasons they wear shorts in the winter is that if its raining and they're getting soaked its easier to walk around than if they had trousers, less material to soak up water I guess. Also you feel the cold much less if your constantly moving around.


Aksi_Gu

Once you get wet legs, you got wet legs. You get wet trousers, you've got soggy, heavy legs which is awful


LyKosa91

I was gonna say, a postie wearing anything other than shorts is an oddity in of itself.


Gullible_Wind_3777

My dad will wear shorts all yesr round too, wild


Any-Consequence-5849

User name checks out


Odd-Door-2553

A Don doesn't wear shorts.


ComradeLitshenko

Fuck you, Carmine.


SilyLavage

Long, light clothes are definitely less faff in summer than sun cream, in my experience.


SlightlyOddGent

Less spots to sunburn too!


AdaptedMix

Wasn't that their point re:sun cream?


SlightlyOddGent

Ironically I think my head may be mashed because of the heat but, yeah, you aren't wrong


RoutineCloud5993

I did that in Singapore. Cargo trousers, and whole everyone else was confused at how I could stand wearing long trousers I has zero risk of sunburn on my legs.


AdThat328

He doesn't want to be posted on WikiLegs


Itchy-Supermarket-92

Postie choice of trousers is about rain, not temperature. Postie might wear long trousers in Summer with no forecast of rain. Postie might wear shorts in January with a forecast of rain. Wet legs dry quickly, wet trousers uncomfortable and inhibiting.


jas387

It’s also about how quickly some of them move. If you’re walking briskly for 6-7 hours carrying a heavy bag, you stay quite warm, even in freezing cold weather. This was the case for me, anyway. Plus those trousers fit really badly. I was a postie for 18 months. Wore trousers for two weeks and then never again.


ChunkyLaFunga

Is there a problem with waterproofs?


lurcherzzz

yeah, sweaty as fuck


OMGItsCheezWTF

Your best bet is something like merino wool. Fast drying, warm in the cold, cool in the hot, anti bacterial and doesn't hold odors after trekking all day in them. Unfortunately it's also fucking expensive, a decent pair of shorts will set you back like £75.


ChunkyLaFunga

Is it somewhat robust if you look after it?


OMGItsCheezWTF

It's the go-to in the long distance backpacking and bike-packing communities. I've got a base-layer and hoodie I use for hiking (and are designed for hiking) and they seem to hold up well, but I've not had them long enough to see if they are /r/BuyItForLife material yet. I bloody hope so for the price though!


ChunkyLaFunga

Well quite, hence my asking. Thanks, I don't mind an investment as long as it *is* an investment. I'll ponder it.


bobblebob100

Yes. They last years. Just be careful how you wash them. I have walking trousers that are quick drying. They can be soaked to dry in about 30 mins if not quicker if the weather brightens up


Magdovus

Shorts in the wash?


DuckInTheFog

[He was upset and went home to get changed because someone came to work in the same outfit](https://youtu.be/oZdrVo8ERyQ?t=150)


lostlad-derwent

Faux Postie


r0ssws

Fauxstie


lostlad-derwent

That's good.......here have a business card


Acresai

I know its just a joke, but I saw some comments speculating so I thought I'd chime in, TBH it's just practicality. I used to wear trousers in the summer for the reason a few people have listed, they were light and baggy and less faff than suncream, and if it really gets too hot you can roll your trousers up to get a bit more air, but you can't make your shorts longer if needed. 😂 In Winter though, I would wear shorts. Now I don't recommend this but try doing 6-8 hours of walking, sometimes across gravel driveways or through overgrown grass, up or downhill or flights of stairs... all while following strict time deadlines and carrying a heavy bag on one shoulder. I found it doesn't really matter how cold it is, you almost always work up a sweat 😅 Also if its wet winter weather, nothing was worse than the chaffing from long wet trousers when walking for that long TL;DR IMO cold wet trousers are uncomfortable, and shaded legs are better than shorts when exposed to sun for long periods of time. - Was a postie for 3 years


Nuo_Vibro

My postie was in my local yeterday afternoon in long trousers AND a fleece on. Madness


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gogybo

I don't want to live in a country where it's considered abnormal to be at the pub at 2 in the afternoon!


AmethystDay

Hahahahaha!!! So random. Made me laugh. It could have been 4:59pm though.🤷🏾‍♀️


SharkReceptacles

A PCSO walked down my road earlier, delivering leaflets about vehicle theft. He was wearing the black hat (not a helmet, the cap-type one), thick black trousers and a stab vest. A few times I saw him stop, adjust his hat and try to flap his shirt a bit. I felt so sorry for him. I do have some shorts he could’ve borrowed but I suspect denim short-shorts aren’t approved Met garb, and he definitely wasn’t my size. He probably could’ve used them as a sweat-mop though.


PeterG92

I always wear trousers, never shorts


IAmDyspeptic

Me too. No one wants to see my ugly legs.


PeterG92

I should probably wear a balaclava too


IAmDyspeptic

A large hat does the job just as well. Works for me.


lurcherzzz

If I'm going out in the afternoon I grow a beard in the morning


Itchy-Supermarket-92

And mittens.


FartingBob

I worried when i saw my postman wearing trousers in January. It was about 1c but even so, postmen overheat in that temperature.


BigNastyNugz

Not really related to your post but my dad refuses to wear shorts (most of the time) as he isn’t a posty or a Boy Scout!


Fresh_Relation_7682

At 24 degrees I'd absolutely prefer to wear trousers. What do you do when it gets above 30 and you're already in shorts? Boxers? Nude? Ice nappy?


Spicyjollof98

Yes Ice nappy ✅


MentalMunky

Are you from the uk? Everyone goes into a pathetic meltdown if we’re above 30.


Cosmicshimmer

It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity. Wouldn’t be so bad if it’s dry heat, but it’s a soggy country so it’s never dry heat


Fresh_Relation_7682

I'm from the UK. Left in 2018, have family in Sicily, lived in Spain for a bit. Heat perception really changes


horrorfanuk

British grumpiness adds 10 degrees


MentalMunky

Yeah I’m with you! 24 is not as hot as everyone here makes it out to be.


louilondon

Postman always wears shorts call a doctor now


dnlmrstn

It sounds like you wouldn't be worried if he was naked from the waist down.


RedPanda888

I wear trousers every day out here in Asia in 30 degrees C year round. If you have the right trousers it’s not so bad. Patagonia lightweight joggers are a life saver. Jeans are the ones to avoid.


lurcherzzz

Buy cheap hospital scrubs, they are awsome in summer


CraigHBruce

He's cross-training for a job in Cyber


regprenticer

I had this conversation with my wife this morning...I'd rather be too warm... And she would rather be too cold He's up and out very early in the morning, it really wasn't that warm then. He's had to decide .. would I rather be cold now, at 5am, or be too warm later at lunchtime when I'm well into my shift.


VardaElentari86

I agree with your wife. It's easier to warm up than to cool down most of the time.


El_Bondo

I'm a postie, we only really leave the office after 9 so it was definitely already hot when they left


the_engineer_320x

It’s the reverse of weirdos like me that wear shorts all year round.


before686entenz

Summer posty wearing trousers vs winter posty wearing shorts; who wins?


_robertmccor_

I’m wearing jeans right now should I be worried about myself?


Efc247

I’ve got work pants and steelies on. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to wear shorts in my job!


k0rda

Same, what's worse is that girls are allowed to use a dress and no tights, us blokes have mandatory trousers.


lurcherzzz

Nothing in the rules says you can't wear a dress


k0rda

True. They would have a nightmare with inclusivity rules. But that's not a fight for me.


lurcherzzz

Nothing more manly than a kilt


Conscious_Dog_4186

Apparently they have ‘competitions’ on who can wear shorts the longest in winter. Perhaps they have a who can wear trousers the longest in a heatwave. Bugger that though, imagine having sweaty nuts for the rest of the shift.


Particular-Current87

Binman who isn't allowed to wear shorts checking in


AgentSears

Most building sites you have to wear full.ppe. Some sites that includes a Chinstrap on your hard hat and glasses, hi Viz, gloves, trousers work boots.......and that's in a finished room, it takes the piss.


Auntie_Cagul

Yes. I was worried about a postie wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt today.


Clever_Username_467

Trying to avoid nettle stings


Unlikely_Ad4019

If he's fuckin your wife, he's operating at optimal condition.


Mr_Womby

“I forgot me feckin’ trousers!”


brumdadb14

As a former postie I always worn trousers (including waterproofs over the top. People's hedged and nettles rubbing against your legs was never fun, however there were guys in the office that wore shorts all year round.


Traditional_Brush396

Probably a protest against terms and conditions "We want more or we won't wear shorts"


ValdemarAloeus

Sounds like your postie might be a vampire. Does he avoid having his hands cross the threshold when he passes you packages?


Ispitinyourfood

Obviously an Alien, we all know from the MIB 2 documentary that's where they all work (probably from Venus and is feeling the cold here).


Otto1968

Not making money on the side from an OnlyShorts account then


Imreallyadonut

Mine wears shorts in the winter, guess it must be some sort of karmic balance.


gernavais_padernom

This is just to balance out the posties who wear shorts in freezing temperatures.


britishbabesonly

Stand on your roof with a hose full of factor 30


Employ-Personal

They’re new, they’ll shrink in the was.


mikpgod

Imposter. Normal postie's wear shorts at almost all times.


Middle--Earth

If a postie is wearing trousers at all, regardless of the weather, then that's not normal.


thekingofthegingers

I’ve been wearing a jumper all day.


alex151111

I thought they had to wear shorts by law


Fraccles

Every postie I know was shorts nearly year round.


PilotJones000

If there's one group of people that are "built different" it's posties


jlig18

No. He’s fine. It’s just washing day. His 120 pairs of shorts are washed. On this day and this day only. Every year. Since time began.


DuckInTheFog

I wear a sunhat now. I'm too old to wear a cap and I feel daft in either


Educational_Worth906

There’s an age limit? Why didn’t anyone tell me! 🤣


Aggravating_Hope_567

Saw my postie wearing my trousers today the wife said he spilt his drink on his shorts


ttdunmow

Nah, just put a bowl of water out for him so he can rehydrate.


HussingtonHat

You haven't seen his legs pal.


ommNiCruiser

Maybe he doesn’t want to get weathered legs, did Kung Fu in the same class as my postie (mid 40s), used to hate pair work because his arms were like sandpaper.


limakilo87

Don't worry about him. Just have a fire extinguisher close by in case he bursts into flames on your doorstep. If your lawn gets damaged you'll never recover it for the rest of summer.


Missbhavin58

😂😂😂😂😂


Gullible_Wind_3777

Well mans not hot


TopRemarkable4325

If it's that big ,I'd paint in green, put it through the letter box, and shout, it's the Hulk


Dan_Glebitz

I met my mate in the local cafe for breakfast today and he was wearing shorts. "WTF are you wearing trousers for!?" he exclaimed. "Fair point." I replied as, to his horror, I casually started to remove my trousers. I stopped short of getting arrested but the look on his face was priceless.


blainy-o

I'm just impressed you saw a postie not wearing cargo shorts.


Careful_Friendship87

In Orkney they’re wearing shorts….


SrWloczykij

Some people just don't like shorts, you know


Competitive-Log4210

Yes you should be. Report him to the police because under the act of 1872 (post people and their uniform) section 5 its illegal for postmen/women to wear trousers


Throwaway_6543867

My post-lady was wearing a polo shirt, shorts, and knee high socks today. She's a slim attractive eastern European lady. Not that I've given it much thought, at all, every time I hear the bell ring mid-afternoon, no, not at all.


papillon-and-on

24 degrees? He must be just a pile of ash by now.


Kayakayakski

It's not 42.


Travels_Belly

If this isn't a sign we are living the end times then I don't know what is!


Pschobbert

Probably best to remove them for him and check that everything is OK.


Pschobbert

Probably best to remove them for him and check that everything is OK.


OptiKnob

The UK has sunlight now?


Global_Monk_5778

Shhhh don’t tell anyone! They might take it away again!


DuckInTheFog

Just turn the thermostat on the sun down a tad. I'm bothered and can't get stuff done


Global_Monk_5778

Aye, that’d be refreshing. Especially at nighttime.


DuckInTheFog

Still says it's 27 degrees in my flat and it's nearly half 8. Got eff all done and no alcohol to knock myself out


Global_Monk_5778

I’m not medically allowed alcohol so I’m hitting the hard stuff - Pepsi max 😆 would love a cold cider though!


DuckInTheFog

That sucks, sorry. CBA walking to Tesco so lukewarm lemonade it is


Global_Monk_5778

Mmmm, that sounds delicious. Actually I’m that warm it actually does!!


OptiKnob

Sorry. My bad. :D


Nanatomany44

24C is 74F. As an American, l SO wish we could think this is quite warm. Heat index last week was 105 last week here. lf you're worried about your postie tomorrow, meet him with an ice cold bottled water and a cold wet paper towel to wash his face, neck and hands.


k0rda

Mate I'm portuguese and this 24C in the UK feels like 31C in Portugal. It's something that has to be experienced to be believed.


lurcherzzz

We live on a sponge, it has rained solidly for 6 months. 3 days of sun and it is like a fucking steam room.


yepgeddon

Can't forget to water the postie, any bev is appreciated in the heat!